period

10 Products for a More Pleasant Period

Kate Sloan

Having your period sucks. This is known. I’ve been menstruating for over two decades and I still can’t believe it sometimes: You mean to tell me I’ll spend one week of every month bleeding from my genitals, hobbling around in horrible pain, and bursting into tears at the slightest provocation?! And I have to do this for at least another twenty years?! Wild stuff. I can scarcely think of a weirder curse that could be placed on a person!

However, there are a few magical items that help me through my period each month (or however often I get one – my periods have always been annoyingly irregular!). I thought I’d share ’em with you here today incase they’re of use to any fellow miserable menstruators. For those about to bleed: I salute you! Here’s what helps me most…

1. A good menstrual cup

No shade if you use tampons or pads, but I switched to a menstrual cup when I was in high school and can’t imagine going back at this point. There’s definitely a learning curve when you first start using one – so give yourself at least 2 cycles to figure it out! – but if you do, you might find, as I have, that cups are more comfortable than tampons, cause less vaginal irritation, and are often far more convenient than disposables. They’re certainly more environmentally friendly, and (in the long run) a whole lot cheaper!

Currently, my favorite cup is the Diva Disc (you can read my detailed thoughts on it here), though I’ve also enjoyed more traditionally-shaped cups by Yuuki and MeLuna over the years. Here’s a blog post I wrote containing all my menstrual cup advice from my decades of using one. I try not to be an evangelist, but it’s hard when cups are truly so much better (IMO) than the alternatives!

2. Midol or similar

Thanks to my mama for introducing me to this miracle drug when I was a tiny pubescent bb! I still get hellish menstrual cramps to this day, and Midol is one of the only things that puts a dent in ’em (along with a few other items on this list).

Acetaminophen (a.k.a. Tylenol) is the main ingredient in this med, but it also contains an antihistamine to reduce inflammation, as well as a bit of caffeine. The caffeine is mostly in there as a diuretic to reduce bloating/swelling, but I also find it blessedly helpful for combating the heavy fatigue I encounter during my period. I take 1-2 Midol pills 2-3 times a day during the first few days of my period, and it makes a massive difference for me.

3. An electric heating pad

Currently my wife is away visiting one of her other partners, and when I told her that my period had just arrived and I was stuck in bed due to horrible cramps, she texted, “I wish I could get you some tea and your heating pad.” It made me cry, because of all the times she has indeed brought me my heating pad when I needed it most!

I just have a cheap one from Amazon, but it’s so helpful that I often bring it with me when I travel, just incase. I used to use one of those microwaveable ones instead, but when my fatigue is really high, I often struggle even just to walk to the microwave and back, so it’s great to have an electric one I can activate with the press of a button. I bring my heating pad with me all around the house during the first couple days of my period – on the couch, at my desk, in bed, etc. – and it helps make my cramps more manageable, plus it just feels nice, especially in the winter.

4. Epsom salts

When my pain is so bad that I can barely function, I’ll often take a bath. Epsom salts help with pain and also just smell good. Not much else to say here – I always keep a bag or two on hand, and they always serve me well!

5. Weed gummies

Weed in all forms, really. It’s even more of a miracle drug than Midol is. But right now I’m especially enjoying the Pain AM and Pain PM gummies by 1906, which the brand recently sent me to try. Generally I find that weed doesn’t lessen my pain so much as it lessens how much I care about the fact that I’m in pain, and these gummies are no exception, although they do also contain extracts that are supposed to reduce inflammation and thereby reduce pain. Plus they’re fruit-flavored. Yum.

6. Kind period patches

Another product that a brand sent me to try – these are patches that you stick onto your skin and leave on for 8+ hours. Honestly, it’s hard to tell if it’s a placebo effect with these, but I think they help?! Among other ingredients, they contain chamomile extract, which is said to reduce pain, and magnesium, which is said to support restful sleep. In any case, it’s become a running joke between me and my wife that sometimes she will undress me before sex and discover a random Kind patch somewhere on my body 😂

7. Cute red loungewear & underwear

A must! I’m always worried about blood spillage during my period, so it helps to have ultra-comfy loungewear that’s either red or dark-colored, so it won’t get ruined by errant splatters. Most of my favorite clothing in this category is by MeUndies and Calvin Klein Sleepwear.

8. A wand vibrator

Wands are useful in so many scenarios, and menstruation is definitely one such scenario! I use my Magic Wand Rechargeable almost daily when menstruating – it’s strong enough to get me off even through pants + underwear, so I can masturbate with minimal mess – and, incase you haven’t heard the good news: orgasms release endorphins, which help alleviate menstrual pain! I’ll also sometimes apply a wand directly to my lower back or lower belly to ease cramps as needed. When I want to use a vibe in the bath, I go with the Magic Wand Waterproof instead.

9. The Hole Punch Fluke vaginal plug

Sometimes I get ravenously horny during my period but can’t be bothered with the messiness involved in using a dildo at that time – so I’ll use my beloved Fluke instead! It’s a plug, so you can sort of “set it and forget it” – it provides passive G-spot stimulation without you needing to thrust it in and out. It’s less liable to leave a puddle of blood on your bedsheets, because there’s less jostling around compared to a dildo and it semi-blocks the flow of blood temporarily while you’re using it. A must-have for lazy menstrual masturbators!

10. A Liberator Throw or similar

Sure, you could lay down a towel before masturbating or having sex, but blood has been known to soak through towels from time to time – so if you want real peace of mind, you’ll need a sheet with a waterproof core, like the Liberator Throw. (Used to be called the Throe, but I guess they decided SEO matters more than a good pun!)

I find the Throw especially useful when I’m craving G-spot stimulation during my period, because – have you ever squirted while on your period?! It is extremely messy! But when I’ve got a Throw underneath me, I know I can go hog-wild without ruining my sheets. Thanks, Liberator; you have indeed liberated me, in this case from doing a whole lotta laundry!

 

For those of you who menstruate: which products help you the most at that time?

Wanking on the Rag: A Squeamish Masturbator’s Guide

Kate Sloan

I love to masturbate. Um, of course I do, I write about sex toys. But I mean, beyond just doing it for the physical pleasure of it, I also enjoy it mentally and emotionally: it’s a way for me to recharge, to unwind, to be good to myself.

So it sucks that there’s one week every month where masturbating is more mess than it’s worth. Or is it?

Here are some of my top tips for jerking off when you’re bleeding. Some of them are overlaps from my post on menstrual sex, but solo sex is worth honoring, too!

1. Choose a nonporous toy. If your collection includes toys made of jelly, TPR, CyberSkin, etc. (shame!), skip them for the time being. You can always use a condom over them, which you should be doing all the time anyway, but it would be best to just bite the bullet and upgrade to a toy you can use safely during your period.

Many of my toys have been subjected to menstrual blood, including my all-white Ella and my beloved Pure Wand. Nonporous toys should wash totally clean with a little soap and water, and the non-mechanical, waterproof ones can be boiled to sanitize. I do have one jelly toy left over from my ignorant days, which I never use anymore – but if I did, I’d leave it alone during my period. Bloody bacteria growing in toy pores = gross!

2. Buy yourself a blood towel. It should ideally be dark-colored and large. Hell, buy two, especially if you’re a squirter. Every time you masturbate or have sex during your period, lay out the towel underneath you so you can have at it without worrying about a mess.

If you’ve got the cash, why not spring for a red Liberator Throe? I can’t think of a better way to honor your divine reproductive essence while keeping your sheets clean! (On a related note, if anyone would like to buy/send me a Throe, please get in touch…!)

3. Investigate alternative menstrual products. Jade and Pearl make sea sponges which you can stuff up your vag at moon-time. They make it possible to be penetrated without mess, whether by a partner or by your own fingers or toys.

I also have a wide variety of menstrual cups which I use for everyday period wear. Depending on the cup, I may be able to penetrate myself shallowly or not at all while wearing one, but they’re great if you just want to masturbate clitorally.

4. Stay away from your cervix. Some folks get very sensitive while they’re bleeding, especially in the cervix area. If this is true for you, try a toy that’s squishier, shorter, or focuses on your G-spot rather than the far reaches of your vagina.

If you really crave a good pounding, maybe take an ibuprofen half an hour before attempting it, and avoid hard materials like glass and steel. Flexible silicone will be your best bet during this time.

5. Think of orgasms as painkillers. Sometimes, when I’m on my period, I feel miserable and achy and have no desire to jerk off. My cramps get so bad that I just want to lie on the couch and watch bad TV. But then I remind myself that I’ll feel better if I force myself to have an orgasm – and guess what? I always do.

It doesn’t have to be a big production. If you’re feeling too sore or lazy for penetration, don’t bother with it. Just grab your favorite clit toy and get off in a way that’s comfortingly familiar to you. You may not feel terribly enthused at first, but power through it if you can: there’s a good chance your cramps will ease up if you can make yourself come.

Jerking off can be a very healing and affirming thing to do during your period, a time when we’re most likely to have complicated relationships with our genitalia. Stop worrying about the mess and just be good to yourself!

Menstrual Sex: It’s About Bloody Time!

Kate Sloan

I think the only time I’ve ever used the word “squicky” in real life was while telling my friend how my new boyfriend felt about menstrual sex. “It’s just weird for me, I guess,” I said, “because [my ex-girlfriend] was so okay with going down on me during that time of the month, and [the new boyf] is soooo not.”

It’s true – this was a tough adjustment for me. My ex had a vagina too, so she understood that menstruation isn’t such a big deal – but it wasn’t just that; she was a messy, reckless person in many ways, the type of girl to slather herself in paint and make breast prints on big pieces of watercolor paper. I think she was more inclined to “ride the crimson wave” because sexuality didn’t scare her, not even a little, not even the weird parts. My new boyfriend wasn’t like that, and his apprehension made me feel shitty about my lady-bits.

But then I rubbed off on him. Me and my relentless sex-positivity and vagina-lovin’. He must have absorbed some of my feminist unabashedness, because soon enough, his blood-related worries dissolved.

Here are some things that changed his mind, and that might change yours or your lover’s mind about period sex too:

1. Menstrual cups. Embarrassingly, I have a cup collection – two DivaCups, a Yuuki, a Lunette, and a Meluna. I just like to have a variety of color and size options – the average woman will only need one cup.

These things are great for a multitude of reasons that don’t have to do with sex – better for the environment, for the body, for the wallet (if you don’t collect them like me) – but they make sex easier too. While it is possible to have intercourse with a reusable cup in place, I don’t recommend it – I use them to facilitate oral sex instead. They keep the blood inside, so as not to freak out a partner, but they don’t dry up natural juices the way a tampon would if used in the same way. Worry-free cunnilingus, yum!

2. Menstrual sponges. I have some by Jade and Pearl – they are fairly cheap and easy to use. Truth be told, I am not a fan of sponges for everyday menstrual use – they’re not much better than tampons when it comes to body-safety and drying me out, and I find that they leak when I sneeze or laugh too hard. But! They work very well for period sex. (I’ve never used Softcups, but I hear they work just as well for this purpose.)

When inserted, sea sponges feel remarkably similar to the surrounding vaginal walls – soft, textured, and, uh, spongy. So you can tuck one up by your cervix and it’s very likely that neither you nor your partner will even be able to tell you’re on the rag. Just one word of warning: don’t go trying to pry out the sponge immediately after sex to empty it – during arousal, the cervix pulls up and back, taking any surrounding objects with it, so give it a few minutes or you might start panicking about not being able to get the damn sponge out.

3. Thick, dark towels. Really, these should be a part of everyone’s sex arsenal; if you don’t need towels at least once in a while, you’re doing it wrong, if I may say so. At the moment, I just use knockoff pashminas I don’t care about, but in the future, I’d like to upgrade to a Liberator Throe, a sex blanket that can absorb anything you squirt at it.

4. Mental preparedness. Yeah, menstruating vaginas taste a bit like iron. That taste doesn’t mean you’re getting blood in your mouth (necessarily), it just means you’re licking a healthy, normal vulva, so don’t fret.

Not everyone has to be okay with every sex act. I’m definitely not going to judge anyone who really feels that menstrual sex is not for them. But I want people to feel more equipped to have it if they want to… especially since orgasms are such a wonderful cure for cramps!