Having your period sucks. This is known. I’ve been menstruating for over two decades and I still can’t believe it sometimes: You mean to tell me I’ll spend one week of every month bleeding from my genitals, hobbling around in horrible pain, and bursting into tears at the slightest provocation?! And I have to do this for at least another twenty years?! Wild stuff. I can scarcely think of a weirder curse that could be placed on a person!
However, there are a few magical items that help me through my period each month (or however often I get one – my periods have always been annoyingly irregular!). I thought I’d share ’em with you here today incase they’re of use to any fellow miserable menstruators. For those about to bleed: I salute you! Here’s what helps me most…
1. A good menstrual cup
No shade if you use tampons or pads, but I switched to a menstrual cup when I was in high school and can’t imagine going back at this point. There’s definitely a learning curve when you first start using one – so give yourself at least 2 cycles to figure it out! – but if you do, you might find, as I have, that cups are more comfortable than tampons, cause less vaginal irritation, and are often far more convenient than disposables. They’re certainly more environmentally friendly, and (in the long run) a whole lot cheaper!
Currently, my favorite cup is the Diva Disc (you can read my detailed thoughts on it here), though I’ve also enjoyed more traditionally-shaped cups by Yuuki and MeLuna over the years. Here’s a blog post I wrote containing all my menstrual cup advice from my decades of using one. I try not to be an evangelist, but it’s hard when cups are truly so much better (IMO) than the alternatives!
2. Midol or similar
Thanks to my mama for introducing me to this miracle drug when I was a tiny pubescent bb! I still get hellish menstrual cramps to this day, and Midol is one of the only things that puts a dent in ’em (along with a few other items on this list).
Acetaminophen (a.k.a. Tylenol) is the main ingredient in this med, but it also contains an antihistamine to reduce inflammation, as well as a bit of caffeine. The caffeine is mostly in there as a diuretic to reduce bloating/swelling, but I also find it blessedly helpful for combating the heavy fatigue I encounter during my period. I take 1-2 Midol pills 2-3 times a day during the first few days of my period, and it makes a massive difference for me.
3. An electric heating pad
Currently my wife is away visiting one of her other partners, and when I told her that my period had just arrived and I was stuck in bed due to horrible cramps, she texted, “I wish I could get you some tea and your heating pad.” It made me cry, because of all the times she has indeed brought me my heating pad when I needed it most!
I just have a cheap one from Amazon, but it’s so helpful that I often bring it with me when I travel, just incase. I used to use one of those microwaveable ones instead, but when my fatigue is really high, I often struggle even just to walk to the microwave and back, so it’s great to have an electric one I can activate with the press of a button. I bring my heating pad with me all around the house during the first couple days of my period – on the couch, at my desk, in bed, etc. – and it helps make my cramps more manageable, plus it just feels nice, especially in the winter.
4. Epsom salts
When my pain is so bad that I can barely function, I’ll often take a bath. Epsom salts help with pain and also just smell good. Not much else to say here – I always keep a bag or two on hand, and they always serve me well!
5. Weed gummies
Weed in all forms, really. It’s even more of a miracle drug than Midol is. But right now I’m especially enjoying the Pain AM and Pain PM gummies by 1906, which the brand recently sent me to try. Generally I find that weed doesn’t lessen my pain so much as it lessens how much I care about the fact that I’m in pain, and these gummies are no exception, although they do also contain extracts that are supposed to reduce inflammation and thereby reduce pain. Plus they’re fruit-flavored. Yum.
6. Kind period patches
Another product that a brand sent me to try – these are patches that you stick onto your skin and leave on for 8+ hours. Honestly, it’s hard to tell if it’s a placebo effect with these, but I think they help?! Among other ingredients, they contain chamomile extract, which is said to reduce pain, and magnesium, which is said to support restful sleep. In any case, it’s become a running joke between me and my wife that sometimes she will undress me before sex and discover a random Kind patch somewhere on my body 😂
7. Cute red loungewear & underwear
A must! I’m always worried about blood spillage during my period, so it helps to have ultra-comfy loungewear that’s either red or dark-colored, so it won’t get ruined by errant splatters. Most of my favorite clothing in this category is by MeUndies and Calvin Klein Sleepwear.
8. A wand vibrator
Wands are useful in so many scenarios, and menstruation is definitely one such scenario! I use my Magic Wand Rechargeable almost daily when menstruating – it’s strong enough to get me off even through pants + underwear, so I can masturbate with minimal mess – and, incase you haven’t heard the good news: orgasms release endorphins, which help alleviate menstrual pain! I’ll also sometimes apply a wand directly to my lower back or lower belly to ease cramps as needed. When I want to use a vibe in the bath, I go with the Magic Wand Waterproof instead.
9. The Hole Punch Fluke vaginal plug
Sometimes I get ravenously horny during my period but can’t be bothered with the messiness involved in using a dildo at that time – so I’ll use my beloved Fluke instead! It’s a plug, so you can sort of “set it and forget it” – it provides passive G-spot stimulation without you needing to thrust it in and out. It’s less liable to leave a puddle of blood on your bedsheets, because there’s less jostling around compared to a dildo and it semi-blocks the flow of blood temporarily while you’re using it. A must-have for lazy menstrual masturbators!
10. A Liberator Throw or similar
Sure, you could lay down a towel before masturbating or having sex, but blood has been known to soak through towels from time to time – so if you want real peace of mind, you’ll need a sheet with a waterproof core, like the Liberator Throw. (Used to be called the Throe, but I guess they decided SEO matters more than a good pun!)
I find the Throw especially useful when I’m craving G-spot stimulation during my period, because – have you ever squirted while on your period?! It is extremely messy! But when I’ve got a Throw underneath me, I know I can go hog-wild without ruining my sheets. Thanks, Liberator; you have indeed liberated me, in this case from doing a whole lotta laundry!
For those of you who menstruate: which products help you the most at that time?
I don’t know if most cis men really know how deeply their attitude on period sex can affect a menstruating person’s self-esteem. While I understand why someone might not want to stick their face in blood, it makes me feel so sad and rejected to have a partner who finds my bits distasteful one week out of every month. Even the smallest step toward gaining comfort with menstrual sex – pressing a 