rechargeable vibrator

Review: Lelo Mona Wave

Kate Sloan

There are a number of missteps that get sex bloggers up in arms. Conflating vulvas with vaginas. Sexist or racist toy marketing. Medical misinformation. We hate all of those things, but if you really wanna set off sex blogger tantrums galore, try telling us sex toys are a substitute for a human partner. Oh, we will flip our wigs.

So, what I’m about to say is somewhat sacrilegious, but: the Lelo Mona Wave is a sex toy which makes it glaringly, dishearteningly obvious that I am fucking a sex toy and not a person.

Normally this wouldn’t bother me. I’m under no illusions about sex toys needing to feel like real dicks, or mouths, or what have you. I know that human partners edge out toys in terms of spontaneity, excitement and responsiveness, but toys usually win when it comes to intense G-spot stimulation, hyper-efficient orgasms, or multi-tasking. But there’s something about the Mona Wave that routinely makes me sad it’s not a person. Like, deeply, disproportionately sad.

The Mona Wave is basically Lelo’s answer to Fun Factory’s Stronic line: automated thrusting for lazy masturbators comme moi. But while the Stronic thrums back and forth like a thrusting cock, the Mona Wave curls up and down like the come-hither-ing fingers of a G-spot-savvy lover. If that lover was extremely stoned or had just taken an elephant tranquilizer.

See, the Mona Wave’s motion is slooooow. There are two movement speeds, and they might as well be called “leisurely” and “tortoise-esque.” And that slowness is what makes me wish the toy was a human. It tries to directly imitate something humans do – that intense finger-curling that pleases so many G-spots the world over – but it does a bad job at replicating this act. If the Mona Wave were a human, I could sit up, give it a slightly exasperated look, and chirp, “Faster, please!” But it’s not a human, so I can’t do that. And it makes me feel… weirdly lonely.

Getting finger-fucked is one of my favorite acts. I fantasize about it frequently, and it’s often the way I get off with partners, their thick fingers stroking my insides as I hold a vibe to my clit. But what makes it exciting for me is the dynamism. It’s electrically hot to feel someone’s fingers quicken inside you when they sense that you need that, or ramp up the power of their thrusts as they feel you getting close. A well-attuned partner might slow down as you descend from the peak of your orgasm, or keep pounding at top speed if you prefer that. The Mona Wave doesn’t do any of these things, or even approximate them convincingly. And I know a toy isn’t a person, but it feels like Lelo has sent me a toy to do a person’s job.

Aside from the lacklustre motion settings, there’s not a whole lot to say about the Mona Wave. It vibrates, too, but as other reviewers have noted, the vibrations are disappointingly weaker than those on the standard Mona 2. I can rarely get off with the Mona 2 anyway – its vibrations are rumbly-ish but still just a liiiittle too buzzy for my demanding clit – so the Wave’s non-motion modes aren’t terribly exciting to me.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had several wonderful orgasms with the Mona Wave. But the G-spot stimulation is so tantalizingly slow that it feels like a partner is trying to keep me on the edge without letting me go over. If you’re into that sort of carefully meted sensation denial, you might enjoy the Mona Wave‘s lackadaisical stroking. But if your G-spot needs speed or pressure (and most need both), I’d recommend a Stronic thruster instead, or any decent G-spot dildo you can thrust by hand. You deserve better than a toy that almost gives you what you want.

Thanks for sending me this toy, Lelo!

Review: Shibari Mini Halo Wand

Kate Sloan

image

I wanted to like the Shibari Mini Halo Wand. And there is so much that I do like about it. But it has a fatal flaw that I just can’t get past, no matter how much I try to convince myself it doesn’t matter.

So let’s get the Mini Halo’s hamartia out of the way right off the top. When you turn it on, it starts at the strongest vibration speed. If you want to get to the lowest speed instead, you have to hit the “change speed” button eight times.

Please take a moment to visualize yourself trying to press a vibrator’s button exactly eight times in the middle of a masturbation session – no more, no less. And then imagine yourself needing to do that multiple times during any given session. And then imagine yourself throwing the vibrator across the room in a fit of rage. Congratulations, you have just experienced a fraction of the aggravation I endured while trying to test the Shibari Mini Halo Wand.

See, when I use vibrators, I always begin at the lowest speed. My clit is sensitive so I need to start gentle and ramp up from there. If I start at a moderate or high power level, not only will it feel painful and uncomfortable, but it’ll also get me real numb real fast. And that significantly lowers my likelihood of reaching orgasm. So the lowest speed is the way to go, at least at first.

If you read that last paragraph and thought, “That’s not just you, GJ – that’s how most people use vibrators,” well, yes, I think you’re probably right. Which is why it’s so annoying that Shibari chose to design their wand this way. I could understand having the wand remember the speed you used last time and starting there, like the Doxy Wand does; I could even understand having the wand start at the top speed if there was also a “go to the lowest speed” button, to make that process instantaneous. But there isn’t. You gotta hit that middle button eight fucking times to get it to speed number one.

If it seems like I’m harping on this a lot, that’s because I am. And also because it irritates the fuck out of me. This wand could have been so great if not for this one issue.

The Mini Halo is a wonderful size for a wand vibrator. It fits in my hand comfortably, and is large enough to feel impactful but small enough to fit into a purse. The head is shaped such that you can get broad or narrower stimulation depending on how you angle it. The vibe feels solidly constructed, but retails for just $59, less than lots of “fancier” wands on the market.

The vibrations are excellent. They are deep, rumbly and penetrating. The intervals between each of the eight speeds are small, so the cranking-up process feels smooth and gradual rather than jumpy or jarring. The toy is rechargeable and holds its charge for a long time – I’ve had mine for over three months and have only needed to charge it once in that period. Although, admittedly, I probably only used it 7 or 8 times before deciding the deep, strong orgasms it delivers aren’t worth the hassle of dealing with its tragic flaw.

If you want a rechargeable wand vibe, get the Magic Wand, Iconic Wand or PalmPower. If you just want a strong, rumbly, awesome vibrator, get the We-Vibe Tango, Lelo Siri 2 or (again) Magic Wand. If you think you can forgive the Shibari Mini Halo for its major defect, then go for it, because it’s otherwise a top-notch toy – but as for me, I am far too lazy and uncoordinated to press a button exactly eight times after each and every instance of turning my vibrator on.

 

Thanks to Peepshow Toys for sending me this vibe to review!

Review: Jopen Lust L2

Kate Sloan

image

I’m always hesitant to review new vibrators, because my clit’s standards are so high. Few vibes make it into my inner circle of classic faves. To win me over, a vibe has got to be rumbly enough, strong enough, pinpointed (but not too pinpointed), easy to hold, easy to charge (or plug in), not too loud, ideally waterproof, and easy to control in the heat of the moment.

The Jopen Lust L2 meets all of these criteria except that last one. (Boooo.) And as it turns out, that’s kind of an important criterion.

I requested the L2 from Peepshow Toys because I’d read some rhapsodic reviews from Dizzy and Peep. They have kinda picky clits, too, so I was intrigued by their enthusiasm about this toy.

And they’re right. It’s an underrated gem of a vibrator. Jopen has historically been very hit-or-miss: their Comet Wand is one of my favorite G-spot toys I’ve ever tried, and their rechargeables are generally considered decent (albeit weird), while their battery-powered vibes can be buzzy, disappointing, or sometimes absurdly overambitious.

But with toys like the L2, Jopen’s done what Lelo seems determined not to do: left off the bells and whistles, kept things simple, and created something that just works well.

The L2 is a cute little hot-pink crescent of silicone. It’s thicker at the base to give you something sturdy to hold onto, and thinner at the tip to give your clit (or other body parts) a little pinpointed action. I like that the tip isn’t so small as to feel laser-focused; it’s just right for me. In fact, its size and shape are similar to that of my clitoral glans when I’m really turned on, so this vibe stimulates my clit, my whole clit, and nothing but my clit. Perf.

The vibrations are a delight. They start rumbly and stay rumbly all the way up to the highest speed, which is easily strong enough to get me off on all but my most desensitized of days. In terms of clit-rumbling power, I’d put the L2 lower on the scale than my beloved Tango (almost nothing compares), but in roughly the same neighborhood as the Lelo Siri 2 and Jimmyjane Form 2. It satisfies my clitoral network in a way that buzzy, surface-level vibes can’t, and since that’s my main criterion for a successful vibrator, the L2 will probably hold a place of honor in my top drawer for a long time to come.

image

The fly in the ointment, however, is the way you control the L2’s vibrations. It has only one button – always annoying, but I can deal with a one-button system if it’s relatively intuitive like the Tango‘s. The L2’s isn’t intuitive, at least not for me. You press the button once to turn the toy on, and then press and hold it to turn up the power. The problem is that if you accidentally press the button once instead of holding it down, the vibe turns off. Which, you know… is kind of a boner-killer if you’re, say, right about to come.

I bet I’d get used to this system if this was the only vibe I was regularly using, but it’s not. And as is, it’s a problem that’s mildly distracting at best and completely orgasm-ruining at worst. I can, and do, have terrific orgasms with the L2, but there’s usually lots of stops and starts on the way because I just can’t get used to how this damn button works.

That’s really the only complaint I have about the Jopen Lust L2, though. Its curvy shape sits neatly against my mons and arcs right into my clit. Its silicone is smooth enough to feel good on my vulva but grippy enough to hold onto. Its motor rules. It’s waterproof, very quiet, and cute.

Dat button, tho. It’s the L2’s hamartia, its Achilles heel. Maybe one day I’ll stop being frustrated with it… but that day is not today.

Thank you to the cuties at Peepshow Toys for sending me the L2 to review!

Review: Jimmyjane Iconic Wand

Kate Sloan

jimmyjane-iconic-wand-2

It’s funny that Jimmyjane made a toy called the Iconic Wand when the sex toy world already has an iconic wand. It’s a bit like if Samsung launched a phone called the Iconic Smartphone (bonus points if it was formatted like “iConic”). Like, dude: you’re not fooling anyone.

But I should quit hatin’ on this toy, because it’s actually pretty decent.

My first exposure to the Iconic Wand was when JoEllen mentioned it while I was in Portland. She said that the controls were in an inconvenient place (which they are – more on that in a minute) but I was nonetheless intrigued by the wand’s beautifully simplistic look and its promise of “deep, rumbling vibrations.” So I asked Peepshow Toys to send me one to try, and they hooked me up, like the vibrator angels that they are.

Let’s get this out of the way: the Iconic Wand’s buttons are positioned so oddly that it seems like the toy wasn’t tested by humans prior to its release. Or at least, not by humans with normal wrists with bones and tendons. In order to switch the wand’s mode or speed one-handed, you have to hold it so far down the handle that you’re almost touching the head. Not ideal, Jimmyjane. The toy’s gently curved handle is otherwise very ergonomic and feels good in the hand; this vibe could’ve been improved substantially by just shifting the buttons a few inches up. But alas.

The controls themselves are easy to figure out. There’s a power button and a button that cycles through the wand’s modes and speeds. It has three solid speeds and four patterns, and while I don’t normally love patterns, these ones are kind of great: there’s not a lot of space in between pulses and escalations, so they can actually be a turn-on rather than a drag.

The vibrations are, as advertised, rumbly and strong. YAY. It’s damn impressive that Jimmyjane managed to pack such a punch into a toy that’s only about two-thirds the size of the Hitachi, especially given that Jimmyjane’s vibrations have historically erred on the side of buzzy and inconsistent.

jimmyjane-iconic-wand

While I think the Iconic Wand’s vibrations are more than strong enough to give wonderful orgasms to most folks, it doesn’t work all that well for me, because of its shape. The top of the wand is completely rounded off, so I can’t tilt it for a more pinpointed sensation on my clit like I can with more angular wands. It delivers broad, all-over vulva stimulation, unless I use my other hand to hold my labia wide open – and who wants to do that when that hand could be operating a dildo instead?

The Iconic Wand also vibrates the fuck out of my hand no matter where I grip it. Grrr.

But, you know, it looks very pretty while it’s doing that.

I think the Iconic Wand is a marvelous choice if you want a super-powerful vibrator without the size or weight of a standard massager vibe. It’s elegant, waterproof (!!), has great speeds and patterns, and is possibly one of the best things Jimmyjane’s ever made. But if you need pinpoint stimulation or subtler vibrations, or if you have any wrist mobility issues at all, I would skip this one. After all, the Magic Wand Rechargeable is about $10 cheaper and it’s a tried-and-true classic – it is actually iconic, and for good reason.

Thanks so much to the good folks at Peepshow Toys for supplying me with this toy!

Review: Magic Wand Rechargeable

Kate Sloan

magic-wand-rechargeable

For a long time, I felt about the Hitachi Magic Wand the way I would feel if I met my favorite movie star in person and he turned out to be a sexist asshole.

It just didn’t live up to its cultish following. Certainly, it’s one of the strongest vibrators you can get, and I guess that’s why so many people like it. But vibration strength cannot be the only thing a vibrator has to offer, just as a good-looking man can’t sweet-talk his way into my pants if he also happens to be stupid and rude.

I developed tricks and techniques to make the wand work for me, but still, it tended to languish in my bottom drawer, gathering dust. Eventually I gave it away to a friend… and then, like a scorned lover who keeps returning to the one who hurts her, I bought another one for myself.

It felt like something I “had to” or “ought to” own, not something I wanted to own or liked to use.

But all that has changed now. The Magic Wand has been overhauled in a major way; dropping the “Hitachi” label is the least of these wonderful changes.

magic-wand-rechargeable-buttons-head

I first tried the Magic Wand Rechargeable at #DildoHoliday. I borrowed Piph‘s wand and immediately understood her penchant for “casual Hitachi-ing“: this is a toy that lends itself well to idle, lazy, absent-minded usage – say, while reading fanfic or watching porn. The lowest setting is pleasurable but mild enough that it doesn’t act like clitoral novocaine. I can sit with the head of the wand wedged between my thighs while I scroll through Tumblr, check my phone, or hunt through my drawers for a particular dildo. It turns me on but requires almost zero effort or focus. Neat.

You would think, from the fact that it’s called the Magic Wand Rechargeable, that the most notable change to this toy is its rechargeability. And yeah, it’s great not to be chained to an outlet. But what really excites me about this new wand is that it now has four settings instead of two.

This is a Big Fucking Deal. The old Hitachi’s two settings were ridiculous – I would describe them as “jackhammer” and “jackhammer in an earthquake” – so I usually had to use mine indirectly for it to be comfortable. The two new settings introduced in the rechargeable version are a blessing, a godsend, a revelation. (I am making a lot of religious references… #AllHailHitachi!) The first speed is low, but still pretty stimulating; the second speed, however, is my jam. It’s rumblier than the other settings, making for a deeper, bolder sensation that can get me off with alarming consistency.

The upper two settings are roughly the same as the ones on the original Hitachi. I almost never use them. The toy is quite a bit louder on those high speeds (though the sound reminds me less of a food processor now than the old version did), and they’re also fairly buzzy and numbing. You’ll like ’em if you liked the O.G. Hitachi, but I didn’t, so I don’t.

magic-wand-rechargeable-head

The wand’s head is now made of silicone. HALLE-FUCKIN’-LUJAH. The old head was made of some gross, foamy, porous material, and I’d read far too many horror stories about it getting stained by menstrual blood and all manner of other things. Sex toys should not be stainable! The new wand’s silicone head is entirely smooth, so if your clit loved the texture on the old one, you might be disappointed – but come on: nonporous materials are always better.

The controls aren’t as simple as the flip-switch on the old Hitachi, but they’re still pretty damn simple. One button turns the toy on and off, one cycles through the speeds, and one cycles through the patterns. Easy-peasy. I don’t love vibrators that make you go through the higher speeds to get back to a lower one, but I’m used to dealing with the We-Vibe Tango so that controls scheme doesn’t bug me too much anymore.

The rechargeable wand has a new “feature” where it automatically turns off after 20 minutes, ostensibly to prevent overheating. Weirdly, overheating is an issue that the old wand had but that the new one seems to lack, so this “safety measure” doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. And, as Piph notes, it can seem almost shaming, as if taking longer than 20 minutes would be taking “too long.” Luckily, you can turn the toy right back on again when it turns off.

I actually haven’t encountered the shut-off feature at all, because a) it usually only takes me 5-10 minutes to reach orgasm and b) I typically turn the wand off and on many times during each session so I can get back to the lowest speed. But, before you decide to buy this wand, you should think about the way that you usually use vibrators, and determine whether a loss of power after 20 minutes of continual use would be a potential boner-killer for you.

The rechargeable wand lasts forever on a charge: hours and hours, especially if you tend to use the lower settings. You can use it while it’s plugged in, too. Nicely done, Vibratex!

magic-wand-rechargeable-attachment

As with the previous iteration of the Magic Wand, I tend to use this one with an attachment a lot of the time. It focuses the sensation into a more pinpoint shape, so I can get in between my labia and direct the vibration right onto my clit without buzzing the surrounding area.

However, if you like broader stimulation, obviously the Magic Wand can deliver that smashingly well. My inner labia – not normally a major source of pleasure for me – really enjoy the wand’s vibrations from time to time.

Overall, the Magic Wand Rechargeable is the dependable toybox workhorse I always wanted the Hitachi to be. It does the job and does it well. It’s become a bedside staple for me, and I don’t use that phrase lightly. It’s more than double the price of the original, but that price hike is actually justified.

The Hitachi has often been lauded as the “Cadillac of vibrators,” a one-size-fits-all vibe that could satisfy anyone – and while that’s not true of any sex toy, the Magic Wand Rechargeable is certainly a lot closer to that goal than its predecessor.