Review: Lelo Adore Me Pleasure Set

image

Just in time for Valentine’s Day, Lelo’s new Adore Me Pleasure Set is yet another addition to the giant pile of Fifty Shades-inspired products – but I would argue that if you’re going to succumb to the trend, this set is a fantastic way to do it.

The set contains three items: the Sutra chainlink cuffs, Intima silk blindfold, and Mia 2. All are lovely, high-quality pieces.

The handcuffs are made of suede and silk, with a metal chain connecting the two. They are supremely comfortable and luxurious. On each cuff, there’s a small metal clamp, so you can attach your hands together. You could also theoretically clamp yourself to your bed if there was a part of it that was slim enough to get the clamps around.

These cuffs are beautiful but I don’t think of them as serious tools of bondage, mainly because I can wriggle my wrists out of them fairly easily, what with them being made of soft materials. Folks with bigger hands may have a harder time getting free, though.

The blindfold is also beautiful. It’s made of silk, blocks out light very well, and has an elastic portion at the back for a comfortable fit.

However, I think it would be too small for many people. It feels a little tight on both me and my boyfriend and starts to feel a little uncomfortable after a few minutes.

The real star of this set is the gorgeous Mia 2, which ordinarily comes in pink, purple, or black, but can be acquired in red only through this set. I used to have an original Mia and liked it but didn’t love it; this update, I truly love.

The Mia 2 is noticeably stronger than its predecessor, and it’s now waterproof – but Lelo kept all the things that made the original Mia great, including its USB rechargeability, amazingly low noise level, elegant shape, and easy-to-press buttons.

The vibrations are sort of on the cusp between buzzy and rumbly. As someone who struggles with quick numbness from overly-buzzy vibes, I love love love the Mia 2. Clits-o’-steel will have trouble getting off with this, but I think it’s more than strong enough for the average user.

The Mia 2 is also, arguably, the perfect travel vibe. It’s lockable, quiet, can be charged anywhere there’s a computer with a USB port, and looks like a lipstick or a memory key. Really, I can’t think of a better vibrator for taking on a trip or tucking into your purse.

At $140, the Adore Me set isn’t cheap, but I think it’s a good value for what it is. You get two stunning soft bondage items and one swell clit vibe. If you need a Valentine’s gift for someone who’s a bit kinky and appreciates fine pleasure objects, it’s hard to go past Lelo.

image

Merci, Lelo!

Review: Leaf Spirit

Leaf is a company that tries desperately to market their toys as eco-friendly. First of all, they’re green, which looks cute as hell but doesn’t actually change their ecological footprint as far as I’m aware. Secondly, they’re rechargeable… like many, many other toys out there. And thirdly, they have a couple of other nice environmentally-conscious touches, like post-consumer recycled packaging and a natural canvas storage bag. If you’re eco-conscious, these vibes might appeal to you, but there’s really not that much setting them apart from any other rechargeable vibrator.

The one I chose, the Leaf Spirit, has a divine shape, which is what drew me to it. It’s tiny, curves to fit easily against my vulval mound, and has a gently pointed tip that my clit loves. It’s the kind of vibe that works well for use during missionary-style sex, because it fits so perfectly between bodies.

Aside from that, though, there isn’t much to love about the Spirit. Its motor, in particular, is hugely disappointing to me. At its highest speed, I’d say it’s comparable with the middle speeds of the Lelo Siri or maybe the lowest speed of the We-Vibe Tango. Translation: this is not for clits-o’-steel or even clits-o’-calcite.

Don’t get me wrong – the vibrations of the Spirit are nice (not so buzzy as to be numbing, yay!), they’re just not quite strong enough for me. If you find yourself staying on the low-to-middling speeds of your current vibrator (assuming it’s not the Hitachi or the Wahl, of course) then you might enjoy Leaf toys. I was able to reach orgasm with my Spirit once, but it took a long time and I had to pair it with a great G-spot dildo, which wouldn’t have been necessary with a vibe of passable strength.

The way the Spirit’s speed-changing mechanism works is kind of cool, if perhaps foreign to most toy users. You press its one button once to turn it on, and then hold it down any time you want to turn up the power. At any time, you can press it once to turn it off. This can be frustrating if you’re extremely accustomed to a different system, but I found it wasn’t that hard to get used to.

The Spirit has the added benefits of being waterproof and quiet, though I have to qualify that even if those are important criteria for you, the We-Vibe Tango is still better.

At about $120 depending on the store, the Leaf Spirit is ridiculously overpriced for a toy that really doesn’t deliver in the vibrations department. But if your clit is ultra-sensitive and you dig the sweet green aesthetic of Leaf toys, you might not be as disappointed as I was.

Review: We-Vibe 3

Ah, couples’ vibrators. Such a wonderful idea in theory, so often poorly executed in practice.

Prior to my latest attempt at enjoying a couples’ vibe, the We-Vibe 3, I had tried the Lelo Tiani and the FixSation, neither of which impressed me. Both weren’t strong enough to get me off, both had shitty remote strength, and both tended to numb me out so it was still hard to get off even after I’d switch to a different toy. Boooo.

The We-Vibe 3 is better, but hardly. It has all the same problems that every other couples’ vibe I’ve tried has had: not strong enough, not rumbly enough, and bad signal strength.

Let’s talk about vibrations. You’d think We-Vibe would know what they’re doing in this department, since their Tango is one of my all-time favorite vibes: amazingly strong and rumbly, with four different speeds to scroll through, plus some cool patterns. The We-Vibe 3 has the same patterns as the Tango, but only two speeds, which just doesn’t work for me. I need to “ramp it up” gradually over time, or I go numb way too fast or get overstimulated and have to back off.

The Tango’s vibrations range from 3000 to 4800 RPM (keeping in mind that a lower RPM means a rumblier, deeper vibration quality), whereas the We-Vibe 3’s vibrations are either 3000 or 5500, depending on what setting you’re on. This means that the highest speed is way buzzier than the Tango’s top speed, resulting in increased numbness and a very surface-level sensation.

Also, I don’t know what the deal is, but the silicone of the We-Vibe 3 just doesn’t conduct vibrations nearly as well as the hard plastic of the Tango. I know a lot of people are sex toy snobs and will pick silicone over plastic any day, but I think this is one situation in which plastic would’ve been the better choice. At least then I could feel all the vibrations this toy puts out.

As for the remote – like every sex toy remote I’ve tried, the We-Vibe’s remote (which is admittedly ergonomic, relatively discreet, and easy to grip) needs to be pointed directly at the toy in order to work, and it often needs at least two or three tries before anything happens. A fold of skin or segment of muscle in the way, like a labia or thigh, will tend to make the remote useless.

And as if you weren’t annoyed enough already, it only has one button, which cycles through the two speeds and four modes. This is true of the Tango as well, but of course, it’s much more irritating when each setting change takes a few presses and a precise angle to make it work.

But I don’t hate everything about the We-Vibe. Its shape is surprisingly comfortable and stable; it never pokes me in the vaginal wall or slides around, like the Lelo Tiani does. When the inner arm is lubed, my boyfriend’s average-sized penis can slide right in, and it doesn’t feel like my vagina is over-stuffed at all.

My boyfriend is a fan of the We-Vibe, for two main reasons: first, the vibrations distract him just enough that he can actually last longer when it’s on, and second, it works best when we’re pressed up tight against each other in missionary (which is his favorite way to have sex, because it’s so intimate).

It’s also completely waterproof (including the remote), and charges in a little dock via conduction (including the remote), which is pretty cool.

But I just can’t get on board with the We-Vibe 3. Its vibrations aren’t good enough. They’re surface-level, they’re weakened by the silicone they’re embedded in, and the sub-par remote frustrates me to no end. This toy does make sex feel better, but it can’t make me come, and that’s an issue for me.

Review: Lelo Gigi

Many times over the years, I’ve accompanied various friends to sex shops to help them pick out a vibrator. And many times, I’ve fawned over the Lelo Gigi, explaining the wonders of its rechargeability, G-spot curve, and elegant appearance. As a result, several of my friends have a Gigi of their own now – but I didn’t get one until just recently. (And yes, I did call up my friends and say, “We’re twins!”)

The Gigi is from Lelo’s first line of toys, and they’ve come a long way since then. The now-antiquated Gigi feels weak and buzzy compared to some of my other Lelo treasures, like the Siri and Mona. If you’re looking for power, this toy will disappoint you.

But it does have some redeeming qualities. For one thing, it’s incredibly beautiful. I don’t know if Lelo has gone in a less glamorous direction in recent years or if I just glamorize their original collection in my mind, but the Gigi is a stunner. It oozes femininity, feels amazingly smooth to the touch, and fits in my hand perfectly.

The G-spotting aspect is pretty good too, though I feel Mona does a better job of that. Gigi is shaped much like the Ella, Lelo’s G-spot dildo, which – although I like it – can’t provide the pressure that I need, because of its slightly bendy neck. The Gigi doesn’t have this problem, since it’s completely firm from tip to tail. However, it’s short – only about 4 ½” insertable – so it’ll only work for you if you have a fairly shallow G-spot (and, ideally, small hands so you can grip that little handle).

I can get off with the Gigi if I use its flat head on my clit, but it’s never anything spectacular. The vibrations are so surface-level that they start to desensitize me after just a few minutes, and they’re not even very strong – the highest speed always feels like not quite enough for me.

If you don’t mind a weak-ish, buzzy vibe as long as it’s beautiful, then you’ll be happy with the Gigi. But otherwise, I’d advise waiting around til Lelo inevitably releases a second version of this toy, with a stronger, rumblier motor.

Review: Fun Factory G4 Patchy Paul

Vibrators don’t really excite me that much anymore. I’ve tried so many, and sometimes it feels like they’re all the same. Y’know?

But the Patchy Paul definitely excited me. After it spent months languishing in my wishlist, I finally decided to snap it up… and it delivered.

Fun Factory, particularly their line of G4 vibrators, is known for reeeeally intense and rumbly vibrations. This is not your mama’s vibrator (well, maybe it should be, because she would probably like it too!). This is a badass creation filled with pleasure potential.

Sometimes people ask me, “What can I get that has the power of a Hitachi without the dependence on an electrical outlet?” That’s a very tall order, and I’m not convinced that anything really fits the bill, but probably the closest is either a large Smart Wand or a G4 vibe. If your favorite masturbation accoutrements are slightly reminiscent of a jackhammer, you’ll love the motor in any G4 toy.

But why specifically the Patchy Paul? I chose it because I like texture, but not an insane amount of texture, and I also appreciate some G-spot lovin’. The Paul looks like a caterpillar, with a body that strokes your vaginal walls and a head that nuzzles your G-spot. It even has a little face – perfect for all you caterpillar fetishists out there. (Kidding. Those people aren’t reading this; they’re off looking at a nature blog somewhere. Duh.)

The Patchy Paul is rechargeable, 100% waterproof, and made of body-safe plastic and silicone. The only thing I don’t dig about it is that the vibrations are focused toward the middle of the shaft, not the tip of the toy where they ought to be… but they’re so strong that it doesn’t really affect my experience. I can use this toy vaginally or clitorally and either way, it rocks my ladyparts’ world.

The Patchy Paul has now officially become my favorite G-spot vibrator, right up there with the Lelo Mona. If you can get past its creepy caterpillar face, the two of you might end up being very happy together.