sex doll

“A Song A Week” Challenge: Monthly Recap 6 of 12

Kate Sloan

Song 23/52: “Doll”

Lyrics:

She doesn’t know I’m in here
She doesn’t have a clue
She gets to be your girlfriend
I get to be with you

I hide out in the closet
It’s nice and dark inside
She gets to cook you dinner
I get to keep you satisfied

When the door locks
And your pants drop
And you feel like messin’ around
I’m a good girl
With my mouth full
So I can’t make a sound

Chorus:
I wanna be your sex-shop treasure
I wanna be your secret pleasure
I wanna be your perfect plaything
So you will think I’m so amazing
And though I’m so alone without you
At least I get to think about you
I wanna be convenient, sweet and small
I wanna be your doll
Your doll, doll, doll

It’s nice to know my purpose
It’s nice to have a home
You always make me nervous
I always make you moan

If this is Stockholm syndrome
I can’t say that I care
You like it when I lie here
I like it when you pull my hair

When the mood strikes
And the vibe’s right
And you feel like messin’ around
When the night falls
I’m a good doll
Who never makes a sound

(repeat chorus)

 

Songwriting diary:

A friend of mine mentioned he was keeping his sex doll in a closet, and I found that idea weirdly haunting. For a while I had a note in my folder of music ideas that just said, “From the perspective of a sex doll hidden in the closet: She doesn’t know I’m in here…”

I was messing around with that idea and came up with a piano part that reminded me of the Dresden Dolls’ song “Coin-Operated Boy,” which is thematically similar. For a few days I only had the verses and prechoruses, and didn’t know how (or whether) I wanted to finish the song. But then a chorus melody came to me, and I made a recording of myself da-da-da-ing it. I was out walking around doing some errands and kept listening to these two recordings back-to-back, pondering what I wanted to say as the sex doll.

Ultimately the lyrics I came up with for the chorus are very reminiscent of times in my life when I’ve felt used, discarded, and ignored by men I was seeing, or wanted to be seeing. Maybe this is why I was so drawn to that image of the sex doll waiting around in the closet to be used – it reminded me of how it had felt to wait by the phone for a text that would never come, or that would be a booty-call text instead of an I-love-you text.

Song 24/52: “Difficult Woman”

Lyrics:

They call me a difficult woman
‘Cause I’m always late to the set
They chide me for needing reminders of lines
I admit I am prone to forget

I wait every day in my trailer
It gives me time to think
And I’m not a child, so once in a while
I speed up the wait with a drink

Chorus:
I’m not perfect; neither are you
I’ll never be perfect the way they say they want me to

They call me a difficult woman
That rumor was spread by my ex
I helped the director get ever erecter
I shouldn’t mix business with sex

I’m worried my name’s on a blacklist
And that’s why the cameramen stare
But it could be the tits, the charisma and wit
Or it could be my famous blonde hair

(repeat chorus)

They call me a difficult woman
I swear they don’t care if I die
If not for my name and my face and my fame
I doubt that I’d still be alive

I take every pill they prescribe me
I never miss even one dose
And I’ve never taken too many to waken
But honestly, I have come close

(repeat chorus)

I don’t care what secrets they spread
They’ll never defeat me – I’ll never let them kill me dead

 

Songwriting diary:

I’d been watching a bunch of songwriting challenges on YouTube where someone would use a random word generator to come up with 3-5 words that they would then have to incorporate into a song. One of the times that I did this, the words I got were “me,” “difficult,” and “woman,” which was immediately very evocative to me. I wrote down the line, “They call me a difficult woman,” and then started pondering what type of person/character would say that line and why.

It seemed clear to me pretty quickly that this had to be a song about Marilyn Monroe. I was thinking about how she would often forget her lines while filming Some Like It Hot, show up late to the set, and thereby incur the rage of her male director and co-stars. Her mistakes, it seemed, were always blamed on her and her alone, even though she was struggling with a drug addiction, a painful chronic illness, a history of sexual abuse, and widespread mistreatment by the media and by people in her own industry.

As I wrote the rest of the lyrics, I also started thinking about Judy Garland, who (like many other actors of her time period) was given amphetamines and barbiturates by people at the movie studio she worked for, leading to lifelong struggles with addiction, which were (of course) frequently blamed on Garland herself.

This was such an interesting songwriting process to me because I don’t know that I would have ever sat down and thought, “I’m going to write a song about the injustices faced by midcentury Hollywood starlets” – but the constraints provided by the random word generator inspired me to do exactly that.

Song 25/52: “The One”

Lyrics:

Isn’t it romantic? Isn’t it so sweet
That I could fall in love with anyone I meet?
But you’re the one I stay with; you’re the real thing
The one who I come home to; the one who wears my ring

I’ve been in love with other folks
But none of them got all my jokes
So I’ve been looking for the love
I know that I’ve been dreaming of

Chorus:
You’re the one
The one I need, the one I want, the one
Who keeps me safe and warm, just like the sun
And every day, I’m glad for all you’ve done
You’re the one

I know it’s idealistic, and soulmates aren’t real
But every time I kiss you, that’s just the way I feel
It sparkles like a firework, it’s catchy like a song
Your arms are like my armor; your bed’s where I belong

I know we both have been through hell
At first, it scared me when I fell
Love was work, and now it’s play
And all those memories melt away

(repeat chorus)

I know we’re not invincible
We’ve got a lot to learn
But we’re up to the task
And I think we can last
Even though I know we’ve both been burned

(repeat chorus)

 

Songwriting diary:

I don’t even know what to write about this one because it mostly just flowed out of me improvisationally! The first verse was inspired by a polyamory-related idea I was thinking about, which I think I first read in Dr. Liz Powell’s book Building Open Relationships: that one of the beautiful things about non-monogamy is that your partner stays with you not because they’d be lonely without you but because they actively choose to be with you specifically.

I worked on the second verse and the bridge over the days after I wrote the first verse and chorus, and did some lyric-editing after it was all done, but musically I don’t really know how this came to me because it just… did. Songwriting is weird like that sometimes.

Anyway, it’s a song about my spouse, who is the love of my life and the person who made all my many years of dating misadventures seem worthwhile just to have met them eventually. When my friend Bex interviewed me about songwriting on our podcast The Dildorks recently, he asked me if there were any subjects I wanted to explore more through my songs that I hadn’t yet, and I said that I’d always struggled to write happy songs about being in love with mb because our relationship has always just been… really good, and loving, and open, and comfortable. Even when we have conflicts or issues, they’re approached in a way that is loving and compassionate. This song was my attempt to write an uncomplicatedly romantic song about my love, and while I certainly don’t think it’s my best work, I like how it came out.

Song 26/52: “Dear Professor”

Lyrics:

Dear professor, I confess you’re often on my mind
When you lecture and you gesture with those forearms so defined
It’s hard to focus, hard to notice anyone but you
But I obey and get an “A” because you want me to

Your red pen hurts like a slap
I’d love to sit upon your lap
But I don’t like to break the rules
I’ve always felt my safest here at school

Chorus:
I need a lesson
I’m second-guessing myself
I need a witness
I need some forgiveness
I need a teacher
Not some smug and pious preacher
I need some pressure, I need some pressure
I need you, professor

Dear professor, let me guess: you’re married happily
Do you let her give you pleasure? Do you take the lead?
Does she know you? Does she show you reverence at night?
Does she love you more than I do? I don’t think that’s right

Your passion always shines right through
Oh, the things that I would do to you
But I don’t wanna get suspended
And I would be so sad when it ended

(repeat chorus)

When I’m home, and alone
I don’t get to be your girl
In my bed, I feel dead
With my stomach all a-swirl
But in class, I can pass
For a normal somebody
Raise my hand like I planned
If I fall for you, will you call on me?

(repeat chorus)

 

Songwriting diary:

While feeling uninspired recently, I looked through a Reddit thread of potential song ideas, and one that jumped out at me was “a college student who’s in love with their professor.” This is something I’ve experienced quite strongly many times, and realized I hadn’t really written about in a song before, so I decided to take a crack at it.

I wrote the lyrics for the first verse + prechorus in my Notes app late one night and kinda forgot about them for a while. Then I started trying them out with different melodies and instruments. I had originally envisioned this as kind of a cheeky, cheerful song, but when I paired the lyrics with a more sad-sounding ukulele part, it felt right and I decided to go farther down the path of this being kind of a tragic song about desperately craving validation from someone who can never fully give it to you in the way that you want.

Song 27/52: “Lullaby for Little One”

Lyrics:

You’re never alone when you’re with me
I know you’ve been hurt and I think that’s so shitty
But hey – look where we are today

I know you feel strange and exceptional
But, if it helps, I am strange and bisexual too
You’ve got me and I’ve got you

And I know that deep down, we are one and the same
I know that we’re sharing one body, one name
I know that we also share all of those memories and shame

Chorus:
And I’m here now to listen
And I’m sorry that I’d gone missing
It may not be much, but now that I know you
I know all the love that I wanna show you
And I’ll still be here for you even when everyone goes

I love how you stand up to bullies
The stuff that they scoff at is always so silly
But you, you do what you wanna do

You may not believe that your brain is a blessing
And I know that life can be plenty depressing
But wait – everything’s gonna be great

And when you are lonely, I swear I’ll be here
I’ll never be far from your faith and your fear
I’ve muddied the waters, but soon I can make them run clear

(repeat chorus)

 

Songwriting diary:

Okay, this one was weird… A month or two ago, a friend of mine submitted the phrase “I am strange and bisexual” when I polled my Instagram followers for songwriting prompts, and I wrote the first verse of this song. I was envisioning it as a song about a friend, maybe a friend who was feeling down about the political onslaughts on LGBTQ+ rights and needed some cheering up. I wrote a chorus for it that I later scrapped which went, “Queers have each other’s backs/ Queers can getcha through it/ Queers help other queers relax/ Almost any queer can do it.” I could’ve continued in this direction but that chorus just didn’t sit right with me, in part because of how much infighting there actually is in queer communities these days.

I set that song aside and didn’t really think about it again until a month or two later, when I was walking around Newark airport and this song just started playing in my head randomly. My brain was kind of chewing on it, figuring something out. And then I sat down at my gate, took out my Kindle and read a chapter or two of You Are the One You’ve Been Waiting For by Dick Schwartz, which is about using the principles of Internal Family Systems therapy to improve your relationships. A lot of that book is about getting to know your “inner children” so you can address your traumas and show yourself some compassion, and by the time my flight had started boarding, I’d realized that this song should actually be about my inner child.

When I got back home to my apartment in Toronto a few hours later, I took out my ukulele because I wanted to write a song. I was kind of resistant to the idea of working on the inner child one because it felt too heavy and emotional for the exhausted mood I was in post-travel. So I pulled two tarot cards as songwriting prompts, hoping they would give me a different idea. But the cards I pulled were the Nine of Swords and the Nine of Pentacles, which respectively symbolize (among other things) misery and anxiety, and safety and accomplishment. These notions, paired together, reminded me so much of the work I’ve been doing with Internal Family Systems that I literally said out loud, “OKAY, universe, I will finish that song!!” and then I did. I’m not really a religious person and don’t know exactly what I believe in spiritually, but the creative superconscious often feels wildly tangible to me. I know that sounds pretentious – oh well, it’s true!

I was describing this song to my therapist while it was in the works, and they exclaimed, “Oh! It’s like you wrote a lullaby for your parts!” which of course I immediately wrote down. Ultimately I decided “Lullaby for Your Parts” would seem weirdly sexual out of context, so I went with a slightly altered version of that title 😂

Guest Review: Tantaly Monroe Realistic Sex Doll

Kate Sloan

Note from Kate: I asked a cis male friend of mine to review this sex doll for me, because my partner already has one and doesn’t have enough room in their New York apartment for another one 😂 Here’s what my friend thought about his new doll, in his own words…

I’ve always wondered what it might be like to own a realistic sex doll. But I never bought one because the high-end ones I looked at were pretty expensive, and I was afraid that if I owned one, someone might find it in my home and make fun of me. I wouldn’t want someone to know I spent so much money on that kind of thing!

So imagine my surprise and delight when my friend Kate asked me if I’d be interested in testing and reviewing the Tantaly “Monroe” sex doll… for free! And when I say “doll,” what I really mean is a headless, armless torso with thighs that cut off above the knee. “Monroe” is ostensibly named after Marilyn Monroe due to her elegant hip-to-waist ratio, though I don’t remember Marilyn having G-cup breasts. This thing costs over $900, so I figured it had to be pretty legit.

After following Canada Post’s tracking for over a week, I got a knock on the front door and found a box big enough to hold a dining chair. I don’t know why sex toy reviewers always feel the need to describe their initial unboxing when they’re going to immediately throw the box away, but what the heck, let’s do it anyway: They promised “non-descript packaging,” and wow they weren’t kidding. It was a cardboard box containing a compact styrofoam coffin, inside of which was a nude torso wrapped in plastic. Nothing in the way of presentation or pizzaz, not even so much as a ribbon tied in a bow; only a teeny instruction pamphlet and tampon-like “drying stick” used to dehumidify Monroe’s orifices when not in use.

Once I cut Monroe out of her powder-coated placenta, it was time to pick her up and carry her to the bedroom like some sort of extremely fucked-up “carrying my new bride over the threshold” situation. And, while I know it’s rude to say so, she is HEAVY! 68 pounds of totally dead weight, to be exact (though when she sat on my face it felt more like 69, har har). If you have less-than-average upper body strength, you should really take this into account when considering the purchase of a Monroe. I had to struggle laboriously up the stairs with her draped over my shoulder like a firefighter trying to rescue half of someone. My cat didn’t know WHAT the fuck was going on.

After tossing her onto the bed and catching my breath, I immediately had the urge to eat her ass. In real life, spontaneous ass-eating can be a risky proposition to say the least, but it’s been over a year since I’ve had the opportunity to eat any ass at all, so I dove in and it was a lovely experience. Then I flipped her over, spread her thighs apart ­ ­–which took more than a little bit of effort – and went down on her, fingering her in the process. While doing so, I suddenly thought about how wild it is that I finally have a lover who needs no foreplay and here I am warming her up just for the fuck of it!

Anyway, she was now on her back with her fabulously gravity-defying breasts pointed to the heavens. I gave them a few ham-handed squeezes the way I might have in a teenage wet dream. They felt nice to the touch (and I even licked a nipple which was kind of fun). With that being said, I’ve had a few dozen sexual partners and I feel confident in saying the texture of these boobs doesn’t mimic the feel of any that actually exist, unless there’s some cosmetic surgeon out there stuffing wads of “cyberskin” into patients’ mammary glands.

Now the time had come: I lubed up her vagina and, since it was a bit cold in there, I held my fingers inside for about 30 seconds to transfer some of my body heat. After getting hard, I got into position, slipped in there, and WOW

WHOA

I came extremely fast. To be fair, I was particularly aroused by the anticipation of this experiment, and it probably ratcheted my horniness up even more when I revisited my long-lost pastime of ass-eating, but Monroe’s vagina was far and away the most pleasantly stimulating fake pussy I’d ever been inside. In my lifetime, I’ve owned around 10 various masturbators that purported to mimic a real fuckable orifice and this one takes the cake. And by the cake, I mean the cum. The first time I slid my penis into it, I immediately felt that anxious “oh shit I need to slow down” feeling I often felt in my early sexual experiences. My penis is pretty thick, and I’ve occasionally run into sex toys that are so tailored to a small-to-average penis size that they’re either uncomfortable for me or they begin to wear prematurely, as I’ve found with my otherwise delightful ArcWave Ion. But this hole was neither too tight nor too loose… To mix metaphors, I felt like Goldilocks finding the perfect bowl of porridge to stick my dick into.

As a side note, I enjoy the fact that I can seriously rail this thing like an industrial piston. I’ve never been allowed to ram into a partner’s hole with all my strength. Here, I could do that and it felt amazing both in terms of sensation and raw caveman humpery. So there I was, probably less than a minute after penetration, breathing hard atop a buxom semen-filled effigy.

And that’s when I learned that cleanup is a bit of a process. It’s tempting to skip it directly after coming because you’d rather bliss out and not do an immediate chore. But from what I understand, failing to clean this product, especially after ejaculating inside it, is a quick way to get a nasty situation on your hands. Sadly, this vagina is not self-cleaning and its pH is not self-regulating. But a few squirts with a bulb douche and sort of “scooping” out the cum and lube inside – not unlike some intense G-spot stimulation – gets it reasonably clean. You just have to figure out where the water will go when it inevitably comes back out of there (or else your bed may end up looking like someone’s just experienced an absolutely legendary squirting orgasm!) Once you get as much water and jizz out as you can, you insert the included “drying stick.” By the way, Tantaly sells additional drying sticks as well as other maintenance accessories and even a USB-powered “heating rod” to warm the orifices before use. You’ll want to buy a second drying stick unless you strictly fuck one hole per session. Speaking of maintenance, one inconvenient thing about Monroe is that she must be stored lying down, meaning she’ll take up around 8 square feet of space in your home. In my condo, she lives in a trashbag on the floor of my closet like something you’d see on some nauseating true crime docuseries.

So anyway, that was round one. A few hours later, I remembered “Oh yeah, I have a naked torso on my bed!” and decided to go for round two. This time, it would be doggy style. I once again picked her up and flipped her over, and I have to say, it was not very fun to do so. Tantaly sells similar sex doll torsos that weigh much less, and I found myself wondering if I’d rather try one of them (though it’s possible that their relative lightness could make them feel less realistic). I had a difficult time getting Monroe into a position that felt right for doggy style. While she is highly poseable, her skeletal frame takes a lot of effort to adjust. This is for the best, since she would collapse too easily if her frame were flimsier, but when trying to get her into position, you feel like you’re fighting with rusty levers in some abandoned mad scientist’s lab. It often feels like you’re forcing someone to move against their will, which is slightly distressing if you dwell on it for more than a second. Moving her around on a bed adds the element of mattress bounciness which can make the process even more unwieldy. To successfully pose her in a “doggy style position” requires you to make sure her thighs are both positioned at the exact same angle (otherwise she’ll lean too far to one side)… It’s like trying to get a tripod perfectly level if the tripod’s legs were human legs with rigor mortis! Also, she has no knees, so in any “kneeling” position, her butt is lower to the ground than it would actually be if her legs were complete and intact.

To her credit, when you finally get Monroe into a doggy-style position it’s a truly beautiful thing; her ass is a sight to behold and unlike a real-life situation, it feels okay to stare and truly appreciate what you’re looking at. Unfortunately, after trying rear-entry PIV in a few varying positions, I realized that both the angle and position of her vagina are so optimized for the missionary position that they make full penetration from behind nearly impossible for an average-sized penis. I’m a little longer than 6 inches and I could barely get halfway in from behind. So I decided to grab the lube bottle again and head on down to brown town. Her anal orifice (or “tunnel” as it is called on Tantaly’s website) is anatomically realistic in its shortness, but just like the vagina, it is textured in a way that’s more stimulating than any ass I’ve ever fucked. I enjoyed squeezing her asscheeks as I went in and out – WHOOPS, I came again. This time I lasted a bit longer, but once again, I could see an orgasm on the horizon the moment I started. Mind you, I’m no two-pump chump. The few times in my adult life that I’ve finished really quickly were with particularly petite women whose anatomy made for a lot more friction and grip than usual. But even then, I lasted longer than what felt like 60-90 seconds in this case! As I neared orgasm, I thought “Pull out! Pull out! It’ll make cleanup easier!” but my usual failsafe (fear of an unwanted pregnancy) was absent, so… hey, I got another chance to rehearse the ol’ “douche n’ scoop!” This time I put a towel underneath her to catch the jizzwater.

The next time I fucked her from behind, I experimented with ways to make her position feel more anatomically accurate. At one point, I set her clavicles onto a small piece of luggage and put a small briefcase under her thighs to create the true position her body would be in if she were a real person in that position. In this way, I could squeeze her boobs while fucking her ass from behind. I enjoyed it, but setting it up was quite a production for what was – yet again – a very short ride. I’m honestly considering fucking her with a condom just to last long enough to fully enjoy the experience!

It seems to me that one of the biggest selling points for a toy like this is the realism of something anatomically proportional with a realistic amount of heft. But despite her realistic weight and size, Tantaly hasn’t so much achieved realism as an enhanced fantasy version of realism. The breasts don’t feel like breasts, but it would be hot if breasts felt like that. I don’t think there are any vaginas or rectums with internal “pleasure nubs” but it would feel amazing if there were. Most partners won’t want you to slam into their holes with the full force of your body, but it would be fun if they did. These factors all add up to the heightened “fantasy-realism” of Monroe.

Two more details before I wrap up: It’s worth mentioning that after 7 uses over the course of 10 days, I noticed one small part of her skin (on the outside of her right thigh) looked very slightly damaged, as if its very surface were slightly peeling off. This might portend an unexpectedly quick deterioration of her materials, but it’s possible that something I did unduly caused the damage. Also (get this) if you decide to get rid of Monroe, you cannot ethically throw her in the trash; she’s made of high-quality TPE, so she must be recycled AND she may also be labeled as “bio-waste” due to “personal use.” So enjoy telling your local recycling center how the neighborhood kids must have pulled a prank by leaving her in your blue bin.

But here’s the big question: Is Monroe worth nearly $1,000? That’s hard to say. For the sake of comparison, I happen to have gotten plenty of enjoyment out of a smaller masturbator from Extreme Restraints that looks like a disembodied cross section of buttocks and vulva in a doggy-style position. It doesn’t feel as good as Monroe, and it’s nearly impossible to get into a truly realistic position, but it also retails for only $140, it’s easy to store, and I’ve never felt arm pain the day after using it. On the other hand, let’s consider who would be the perfect candidate for this kind of product: I imagine a lonely, bored, and/or sexually inexperienced guy who also has deep pockets. Maybe he wants a chance to practice with a life-size simulated partner before he starts having real sex. Maybe he’s afraid he’ll finish too quickly and wants to build up stamina. He either has a fair amount of storage space in his home, or he has a place where she can stay permanently. This guy also would ideally have decent upper-body strength. If all of these traits describe you, dear reader, then I think Monroe would be a great purchase.

But for the rest of you, let’s look at the pros and cons:

PROS:

  • Amazingly-textured orifices
  • Exciting proportions for those who love curves
  • Weight & heft add to the realism
  • Seriously, WOW these orifices, just WOW
  • Realistic size can allow realistic sexual positions
  • Useful for stamina training

CONS:

  • Heavy and unwieldy
  • Somewhat difficult to pose
  • Vagina placement prevents deep penetration from behind
  • Inconvenient to store/must be stored flat
  • Requires disciplined maintenance
  • Skin may begin to (slightly) deteriorate after few uses

Keep in mind that Tantaly sells a line of torso dolls with a variety of weights and sizes, so if you’re intrigued by the pros but turned off by some of the cons, you might consider one of their other models. As for the Monroe doll, she’s a partner with a few qualities that are more amazing than I’ve ever experienced, but they come at a steep price and aren’t without some annoying quirks… Hey wait, maybe she IS realistic after all!

Note from Kate: If you want to buy your own Monroe, you can use the code “GJMonroe10” to get 10% off! This post was sponsored, which means we were paid to write a fair and honest review of the product that was sent to my friend.

Review: Tantaly Scarlett Mini Sex Doll

Kate Sloan
Yes, I am wearing socks! Deal with it! 😂

Recently, sex doll company Tantaly reached out to me about doing a review. I asked my partner mb if they wanted to try a sex doll, and… of course they did! The one we picked is the Scarlett mini sex doll, and you can use the code GirlyJuice10 to get 10% off your entire order if you choose to buy Scarlett or any other doll on Tantaly’s site.

This isn’t a typical review; it’s a transcribed interview we did while mb was testing out the doll in various ways at my behest. So, be aware that there is sexual activity in this interview! I hope you enjoy…

Kate: Why did you choose this doll in particular?

mb: I looked at all of them, and there’s some weird things about the way that they’re sectioned on the website. The weirdest thing is that all of the ones that have Black skin are in a separate section that you don’t see by default, which is very strange and very weird. But they also separate full-size dolls from miniature ones. And I was thinking, I have a pretty small apartment and I don’t have a ton of room to store a human-sized object, so I looked at the miniature ones. I think this the best-reviewed or the most-purchased of those. Also, there are some that only have one entry hole, and I wanted to test one that had two at least.

Kate: How did you feel when the package arrived and you opened her up for the first time?

mb: Good question. Well, I live in a doorman building, so the first thing I felt was kind of like, Oh, it sucks that someone had to carry this 15-pound thing up to my apartment… They probably put it on a cart, but still I felt a little weird about that. And then I was like, well, could they tell it was a sex doll? They’re going to judge me every time I walk through my lobby. And I looked at the label on the box and I was like, no, it’s not obvious. Okay.

And then I was just curious. I was like, what’s it gonna feel like? Because I’d only seen pictures of a sex doll. I hadn’t really touched one before this, in a store or anything. So I didn’t know exactly what it would be like. What did you think when it arrived?

Kate: Oh, I mean, she’s very tiny.

mb: Yes. That’s… yes. After I opened it, that was my thought too. The smallest.

Kate: Well, at least she’s proportional, so she doesn’t look like a toddler, which is what I was concerned about.

mb: I was also concerned about that. Yes. I looked at the pictures and I was like, am I going to feel like this is weird for that reason? And no, I don’t think so. I mean, some people might, and that’s fine, but definitely it seems like an adult, even though your brain has to do some kind of like weird thing where it’s like, this is not an adult-sized person, so your brain kind of maps a human body onto this tiny thing. And I think my brain does that fairly naturally, even though the belly button is the size of, like, the tip of my pinky, but, you know.

Kate: What were your expectations about how using the doll would make you feel, both physically and emotionally?

mb: I had no idea how it would feel emotionally. That’s what I was most curious about. Physically, I figured it would just feel like fucking something, but not like fucking a person. And it felt more like fucking a person than I thought it would.

Kate: In what sense?

mb: I think the main reason is I don’t fuck strokers in the same position that I would fuck a sex doll. So they feel more like masturbating just because of the… like, I’m lying on my back, and I’m like doing a thing with my hand, whereas if I’m prone and like, fucking something, that feels different, just qualitatively, and I’m feeling a skin-like texture against me at the same time. With the visual, it all combines into a different feeling from a stroker.

Kate: Yeah. I was going to ask you, when would you tend to choose a sex doll over a stroker, or a stroker over a sex doll?

mb: If I was with a partner and I wanted to use a toy, I’d probably pick a stroker, unless there was some fantasy element where the sex doll came into play, like a threesome or a cuckolding scene or something. If I was by myself, I would pick a stroker if I was going for “quick and easy,” if I didn’t want to lug something out and have to clean it out in the sink afterward and the whole thing. But if I was missing human connection and I was alone and I had time, then I would use the doll, I think.

Kate: Can you go down on her a little bit?

[mb performs cunnilingus on the doll]

Kate: How would you compare this to the real thing, as a fan of cunnilingus?

mb: Hmm. Well, you can feel all the parts of the vulva, which is great. You don’t get any reactions, obviously, so you have to be able to imagine the reactions, which I can – or not care about them, I suppose. The textures are right. The taste is obviously not, since it’s not human skin so it’s not going to taste like that. And the smell is not right, but it’s not distracting or bothersome either. It’s totally fine. It’s the best version of fantasizing about oral sex that I’ve had, ’cause you’re in the right position and you have all the parts and all the parts feel like the right size and shape and they’re in the right spots. So that’s very helpful for constructing that fantasy.

Kate: Yeah. I was going to ask you, would you ever do this in the absence of a human partner to go down on?

mb: Oh yeah, totally. Cause like I love going down on people and that would be a turn-on for me inherently.

Kate:  Hmm. Interesting. Do you think on a fantasy level, you think of the doll more as a stand-in for a real-life person, or as its own sexual entity?

mb: Oh gosh. Well, I don’t think of it as a stand-in for a specific person. Like, I don’t think about a specific person usually when I’m touching it. So in that way, I guess it’s its own sexual entity. And I think it would be hard to mentally map this smaller-than-human body onto a specific regular-size human. Maybe with a full-size one, you could more easily order one that looks like the person you want to fantasize about, but for me, I think it’s its own thing.

If I was doing this by myself, I would put on cunnilingus porn just for the sounds.

Kate: Yeah, that makes sense.

mb: Yeah. That’s the biggest thing that’s missing. Taste is missing, and that’s a big thing, but the biggest thing is actually sound.

Kate: Hmm. Okay. Lie down and touch yourself to get yourself hard, and I’ll ask you another question while you do that.

mb: Okay.

Kate: It’s not a very arousing question.

mb: [laughs] That’s fine.

Kate: How do you feel about her being a headless, disembodied torso? Does it affect your experience in any way?

mb: It definitely is something you have to work around, but it’s not that hard for me to work around it. Like when I’m going down on it and I’m looking up, I can easily sort of screen that stuff out of my peripheral vision. The planes [of the thighs and neck] are super flat and smooth, so it’s not creepy or distracting and doesn’t feel like it’s been dismembered or anything. It’s just like, it’s an object. And the lack of a head might actually be a good thing, because I think if there was a face, it would never really look like a human face and it would freak me out.

Kate: Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah. I want you to start fucking her front hole.

[mb fucks the doll’s vagina]

Kate: Next question is, what does its vagina feel like?

mb: We’re switching between “she” and “it” pronouns. I don’t really know its pronouns. Um, it’s textured. It’s nicely textured on all sides. I can feel the lips. They feel aroused when I press against them, which is nice. It can take my whole cock, which is nice. It’s not quite as tight as the Quickshot, but it has a very realistic human tightness. There’s nothing super crazy at the back. Some Tenga toys have a really wild texture toward the back of the sleeve, and I don’t think it has that.

Kate: Okay. When you’re ready, you can flip her over and try the back hole and tell me what that feels like. [mb flips the doll over] Wow, her back is gorgeous.

mb: That was one of the first things I noticed too. I like that she’s very stable in this position.

[mb starts fucking the doll’s butt]

Kate: Does it freak you out that you can see your dick moving through her back?

mb: Yeah. That does… When I focus on that, it does freak me out a little bit. ‘Cause if that was happening with a human, I’d be like, where’s your spine?! There’s wire in here, but it’s not where the spine is. The spine area is just all squishy. The butt has a good bounce to it, too.

Kate: Does it feel like you’re having anal sex? Physically or psychologically?

mb: Yeah, it does.

Kate: Hmm. How does coming in the doll feel different from coming inside me?

mb: It’s the same as with the oral – there’s no reactions. I’m missing the sounds and the gripping and stuff.

Kate: Okay. Whenever you’re ready, fuck her tits a little bit. And I’ll ask you about that.

mb: Okay.

[mb tries to fuck the doll’s tits]

Kate: You didn’t like this as much when we tried it before, right?

mb: I don’t really know… Yeah, it just doesn’t do anything. The boobs are not close enough together. You can’t really even push them together. It just doesn’t work. No, I can’t fuck them. Too far apart.

Kate: What’s your overall review?

mb: How much does it cost?

Kate: Like 200 bucks or something. [Editor’s note: It costs $209.99.]

mb: Yeah. I think it’s good. For that price, it’s good.

Kate: Do you think you’re going to use it even after we’ve already reviewed it?

mb: Yeah! It’s useful for like, if you’re long-distance and your partner’s super into pearl necklaces or anal or whatever; you have a prop, and you can shoot nudes with it that aren’t just, like, your dick.

Kate: Yup. That’s good. Definitely good for an LDR.

Thanks so much to Tantaly for sending us the Scarlett mini sex doll to review! Remember, you can get 10% off your order from Tantaly by using the code GirlyJuice10 at checkout. This post was sponsored, which means we were paid to provide a fair and honest review of the product.