sex furniture

The Best Non-Sexy Uses For Sex Pillows, Vibrators, and More

Kate Sloan

I always feel like a MacGyver-level genius when I repurpose a sex product into something more innocent. It’s like the opposite of a pervertible: what if instead of using your wooden spoon as a spanking implement, you start using a spanking implement as a spoon? (I am kidding. Don’t do this. Although, frankly, it would be a Move.)

Since I’ve been an adult-industry professional for nearly seven years now, my home is full of weird sex stuff. I figure I may as well use it in as many ways as possible!

Sex Pillows

As this website demonstrates, there are zillions of sexual positioning aids on the market. I have several, and I must admit, they don’t get used nearly as often during sex as they do in my non-sexy day-to-day.

Most commonly, I’ll use Liberator shapes as impromptu laptop stands, for when I want to watch Netflix (or, yes, porn) while lying in bed. True, I could set my computer on my IKEA lap desk, which is actually designed for such things and probably causes less overheating than a Liberator product, but it just doesn’t have the right shape to angle my screen the way I prefer when I’m loungin’ in my bed.

Sex pillows also make great regular-ass pillows for bed-centric activities that call for angled back support, like reading, writing, or eating. (If you’ve never eaten in bed, CONGRATS, you’re more virtuous than me and I am a gross monster who sleeps on crumbs!) I rely on my Liberator shapes a lot for this function when I’m sick or depressed and my daily tasks have to get done from bed if they’re gonna get done at all. Pro tip: stack a couple of regular pillows on top of the sex pillow for cushioning, since those things tend to be pretty firm.

Finally, I’ve been using sex pillows for joint support more and more over the past couple years, as my chronic joint pain has gotten steadily worse. On really bad pain days, sometimes a Liberator Wedge under my knees or a Jaz under one ankle is just the thing to ease those twinges enough that I can sleep.

Vibrators

Just about everyone knows you can use vibrators to massage your muscles (or someone else’s). It’s what the famous Magic Wand was originally created for, after all. Whether you’re applying a vibe in deliberate, anatomy-savvy ways to relieve tension, or taking the languid route and just lying on top of your buzzing wand after a long, achy day (BEEN THERE), vibration can be a lovely tool in your self-care toolbox, both inside and outside the sexual arena.

I’ve also been known to use vibes as an anti-congestant: running a strong, rumbly vibrator over your sinuses can sometimes shake loose all that soul-crushing snot.

Along similar lines: some voice coaches recommend incorporating vibrators into your vocal warm-up! It’s thought that vibration helps relax your throat muscles, leading to a fuller, clearer sound and a lower likelihood of fatiguing your cords. Start slow and be gentle, of course – your throat is delicate!

Dildos

Does it sound like a joke if I say I use dildos as paperweights? God, I’m like a caricature of myself, aren’t I… It’s just that sometimes I like to work with the windows open, and then it gets windy, and then all my sex toy spec sheets and hastily-scribbled mid-masturbation notes fly everywhere, which isn’t exactly a productivity-booster. Better to set a dildo on top and avoid that whole mess, n’est-ce pas?

A good heavy dildo made of a firm material – like anything by Njoy, and some of my heftier Fucking Sculptures stuff – can be an excellent massage tool. Sometimes a smooth piece of steel can knead out a knot of tension better than human hands alone. (Obviously, please know your shit if you are going to be messing around with anyone’s spine, including your own.)

Once in a while, I also have occasion to use a dildo in lieu of a rolling pin, pestle, or bludgeon – like when I need to grind some weed and don’t have a grinder on hand, or when I need to “whack” a chocolate orange before opening it and don’t just want to smash it against a wall like some kind of ogre (it’s much more ladylike to bang one’s chocolate with a dildo, don’tcha know!).

If your dildo has a decent suction cup base, you can also affix it to the wall and use it to hang your coat, display your necklaces, and so on. It’s a bold decor choice, to say the least, but I think you can pull it off. (I don’t mean pull it off the wall. That shit’s tricky.)

Lube

Couldn’t possibly write about this subject without addressing LUBE!

The silicone-based kind can be used to grease squeaky doors/wheels/etc., smooth down flyaways, and fix stubborn zippers. I have also found that dabbing a little on the inside of each thigh can help a lot with the dreaded “chub rub,” come summertime.

Body-safe oil-based lubes like The Butters often work well as lip balm, makeup remover, massage oil, and shaving cream. (You could use silicone lube instead for those last two functions, but it’s much more expensive than natural oil-based lubes tend to be, so I wouldn’t recommend it, unless you’re Scrooge McDuck-level rich.)

Naturally, many types of lube work well for not-explicitly-sexual insertions. (KY Jelly and Surgilube are two popular medical lubricants, which can also be used in sexy contexts.) If you’re having a tough time with your menstrual cup, tampon, enema, vaginal dilator, or whatever, try lubing it up.

Finally, here’s a weird one my friend Bex told me about: if you turn on your phone’s flashlight, set it down on your nightstand so the light is shining upward, and then put a clear bottle of lube on top, it turns into a sort of makeshift lamp. I can picture the ad campaign now: Mood lighting by Sliquid…

 

What are your favorite non-sexual uses of sex products?

 

This post was sponsored. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: Liberator Jaz

Kate Sloan

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“Hang on, stop for a second, I wanna put something under my hips,” I told my beau when he’d been fucking me for a few minutes. It felt pretty good, but I wanted to feel him more: deeper, harder, more insistent. I grabbed my Liberator Jaz from beside the bed and slid it underneath me. When he pushed back inside me, everything felt instantly better for both of us. The intimacy and pleasure had both been cranked up in one fell swoop.

I used to think it was silly to spend exorbitant amounts of money on “sexual positioning aids,” when you could so easily just use pillows to achieve the same ends. However, that was before I actually tried some of these positioning aids. Sure, they’re a luxury, and regular ol’ pillows approximate the effect. But Liberator products feel effortless and exact in a way that pillows don’t. There’s no shuffling them around, fluffing them up, or stacking them on top of each other to achieve the ideal height. You just stick one where you want it and it does what it’s supposed to.

13385668_1603315256648799_542192948_nI already own a Liberator Wedge, and it’s huge. I appreciate its support when I’m reading (or blogging) in bed, but I don’t pull it out during sex that much, because it’s just awkwardly wide for my purposes. It’s great for leaning on when I’m getting fucked from behind, but I almost never use it during missionary PIV sex or masturbation because I find it takes me too long to get into position on it, due to how big and bulky it is.

The Jaz, by contrast, is about 15 inches wide to the Wedge’s 24. It’s like the difference between tongs and tweezers when you’re trying to tame your eyebrows. I certainly don’t mean to throw shade at the Wedge or folks who use it, but the Jaz is just soooo much better suited to how I tend to have sex. It’s small and convenient enough that I actually use it, instead of thinking, “Nah, that’d be too much work and take too long, so I’ll just keep getting fucked flat on the bed even though I want a better angle.”

Speaking of angles… There is a difference between the Wedge and the Jaz in that category too, and it’s subtle but important. The Wedge’s angle is supposedly 27 degrees, and the Jaz’s is slightly less steep than that. For my particular body, the Wedge feels a leeeetle bit too high, tipping my hips so my belly and ribs feel squished. The Jaz’s angle is marginally gentler and I love it.

The Jaz also has the benefit of being substantially cheaper ($59) than the Wedge ($90). It has one of the most reasonable price tags in the whole Liberator catalogue. Yay!

As with most Liberator products, the outer fabric casing of the Jaz can be zipped off and laundered. It has a moisture-resistant liner so it can contend with your squirt and lube, but if you tend to really soak the bed, you might wanna toss a Throe over top for convenience’s sake. My Jaz’s microsuede material is soft and comfortable to the touch, but grippy enough that it doesn’t slide around when I’m getting fucked on it.

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Here, ranked, are my favorite uses for the Jaz:

  1. Under my butt while getting fucked in missionary. This is truly primo. It allows my partner to get super deep inside me, pressing deliciously against my G-spot and A-spot as he does so. It also makes it easier for him to leave a little room between us, so I can use my fingers or a vibe on my clit to get myself off. But if he does drop his body down onto mine so we’re pressed together, it feels like we get even closer and more intertwined than we do without the Jaz. My hips push up against his with no effort on my part, and everything feels better and more intense.
  2. Under my butt while a partner goes down on me. It’s like my vulva is being served to him on a silver platter, except the platter is made of hot pink microsuede. Some partners have also told me there’s less of a strain on their neck or jaw when I use a positioning aid during oral sex.
  3. Under my hips and lower belly while getting fucked from behind. My partner can stand at the edge of the bed to fuck me this way, or just lie on top of me. These positions create intense G-spot sensations on their own, but the addition of the Jaz makes them even more mindblowing. Elevating my hips also allows my partner to get in there deeper – always a plus for me, what with my love of A-spot stimulation.
  4. Under my hips and lower belly while getting spanked. This creates a butt-exhibiting elevation similar to when I’m draped over a partner’s knees. There is something so vulnerable and hot about having your ass in the air and ripe for a smackin’.
  5. Under my butt while getting fingerbanged or pounded with a toy. Angling is less of a struggle with fingers and toys than it is with a penis, but somehow the Jaz still manages to make these acts feel more intense to me.
  6. Under my butt while masturbating. My hips get tilted toward me so I have easier access to my clit and vag, even with my chubby belly in the way. I particularly like to use the Jaz for masturbation sessions I know will be marathons, involving lots of hard and fast thrusting. I can go for much longer when I don’t have to strain to reach the toy I’m fucking myself with.

I haven’t yet had the opportunity to use the Jaz during blowjobs or anal sex, but I’d imagine it would help with those things too. Basically it’s a genius invention, so simple and yet infinitely useful. I adore my Liberator Jaz and I know I’ll use it for many years to come!

 

No one sent me this product to review. I bought one my own damn self because I wanted it that much!

Review: Liberator Wedge

Kate Sloan

I am always looking for the next sex product that will Change My Life. It’s a silly criterion, since so few toys actually manage to significantly increase my quality of life – the Eroscillator comes to mind, and perhaps the Fling, but that’s about it. i’m glad to tell you, however, that the sexual positioning aid called the Liberator Wedge is one of these life-improving products.

When the Wedge showed up in a giant box from Sex Toys Canada, my dad saw the size of the package and asked me what it was. I nervously stammered, “It’s a fancy pillow,” which is a partial lie, partial truth. The Wedge is sort of a pillow, but as someone who’s spent a year using pillows as under-ass sex aids, I can tell you that the Wedge is far better than a pillow for most purposes.

My Wedge is blue – a deeper, navier blue than the promotional photos indicate – and it’s the “original” model, so it’s 24″ wide, 7″ tall, and covered in microfiber. What does this mean in terms of practicality? It means that the original Wedge will be a good fit for you if your hips and ass measure anywhere up to 48″ around at their widest point. I’m a hippy size 12 and I can fit my juicy booty on this thing easily, with several inches to spare. Additionally, the combined weight of my boyfriend and I is about 300 lbs, and isn’t enough to crush the Wedge – it holds its shape beautifully, no matter what we’re doing on top of it.

The Wedge’s innards are made of firm foam, and it’s wrapped in a microfiber skin that you can zip on and off for washing. The firmness of the foam is fantastic for providing support, but it’s not always the most comfortable thing in the world; I sometimes like to put a pillow on top of it to make it feel plusher. The microfiber is pleasant to the touch, like a thin velvet, but collects a lot of lint. For this reason, it’s convenient that Liberator includes a zip-off storage case, though I have to admit I can never be bothered to put it on the Wedge when I’m not using it.

The boyfriend and I both love our Wedge for oral sex. When he’s got it under his ass during a blowjob, there’s much less strain on my neck and back, and the angling makes it a hell of a lot easier for me to look up at him as I blow him – always a plus. As for cunnilingus, my man says the Wedge is like a “serving platter for the genitals” (actually, this is a phrase from a Liberator promotional video that I told him about, which he apparently found funny enough to start saying regularly). Again, it reduces neck strain for the giver, and it also frees up a ton of room for his arms and hands if he wants to use a toy on me while eating me out. Anything which improves the oral experience gets an A in my book!

The Wedge is great for intercourse, too. It holds up my hips in missionary position, which results in deeper penetration, more direct G-spot stimulation, and less strain on my ab muscles from holding my legs in the air. It works well for the “lazy dog” position, too, and lessens the back pain I sometimes encounter in that position. The Wedge is even helpful for solo penetration, because it gives me a better view of what I’m doing.

Oddly, one of my favorite applications for the Wedge is a non-sexual one: using it as a regular bed pillow. It’s way too firm to sleep on, but if I put a soft pillow on top of it, it props me up very well if I want to read or write in bed. It’s become a permanent fixture in my bed area, used in myriad ways on a daily basis. I think that’s probably the best compliment you can give a product of any kind.

It’s surprising how much a few extra inches of support can improve one’s sex life. If you find yourself using multiple pillows as sex furniture, or wishing you could get your ass just a little higher, or leaning over uncomfortably far when going down on your partner, the Liberator Wedge could be the missing piece in your sexual toolbox.

Thanks, Sex Toys Canada!

 

For more info about the Wedge, check out this review of Liberator Wedge by Furnpeak.com. This post contains a sponsored link; as always, all writing and opinions are my own.

My Sexual Wishlist

Kate Sloan

We all have those things that we’re a little embarrassed to have on our Amazon wishlists, incase mom and dad have a peek to see what to get us for our birthday. Here are a few of mine.

1. Jimmyjane Form 2 – Despite the fact that this toy has some mechanical issues, it’s also supposedly very strong and effective – and it’s Jimmyjane, so it’s luxurious as fuck. I’ve wanted this one pretty much since I discovered it existed.

2. Jimmyjane Iconic Rabbit – I almost got this one when I was shopping for rabbits about a month ago, but then I read some reviews which said that the toy broke quickly and didn’t live up to expectations, so I bought a highly lauded Cal Exotics rabbit instead. Very much regretting my decision now. I mean, Jimmyjane’s toys come with a warranty, so if it broke, it could have been replaced. Hmm.

3. Lelo Siri – Is this the perfect clitoral stimulator to use during intercourse? Quite possibly. Every time I pick up this toy to examine it at a sex shop, I’m struck by just how small, portable, and adorable it is. And strong! I can so imagine this nestling between my body and my boyfriend’s while we go at it – and more importantly, I can imagine it actually getting me off in that situation, unlike a lot of distracting, weak toys I’ve tried.

4. Eroscillator – I think the wiring in my brain has been permanently shaped by all the time I spent listening to Sex Is Fun when I was 14. And part of that manifests as a pressing lust for the Eroscillator. It doesn’t vibrate, it oscillates – which means no nerve desensitization, which means I wouldn’t have to keep turning up the power constantly, and I wouldn’t have to worry about having subpar sex the next day. This toy is ugly as shit but I want it, dammit.

5. Impressions Love Paddle – I am, admittedly, one of those vanilla people who thinks she’s super awesome for occasionally venturing into mild BDSM territory. Whatever, man; I know I’m not the kinkiest person in the world, and I’m okay with that. But I bet I’d be even more okay with it if I had a gorgeous paddle like this, with which to get the word “LOVE” emblazoned onto my ass by my handsome lover.

6. Njoy Pure Wand – Many, many women have told stories of this being the first toy to allow them to squirt. Personally, I’m a bit mystified by the sight of it, but I’m sure that if I gave it a shot, I would succumb to its stainless steel charms.

7. Don Wands cobalt Bent Graduate – I am a fan of glass dildos. My first one was made of glass, and you always remember your first. This one looks like it would leave me panting and sweating… and it’s bright cobalt blue. Swoon.

8. Liberator Wedge – I always used to think that sex furniture was largely a waste of money, especially these Liberator shapes that look like you could achieve the same effect with a stack of pillows. But the thing is, I don’t always have a stack of pillows on hand, nor do I always want to take the 30+ seconds it takes to arrange pillows into a neat little pile that won’t topple when I lay my ass on it. I think the Wedge would be a great investment. Especially in this color. (Can you tell I love royal blue?)