silicone

Review: Tantus Splish

Kate Sloan

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It makes me sad to have to write a negative review about a Tantus toy, since they’re usually so fantastic – but the Splish has been a total letdown for me.

It’s a good-lookin’ dual-color dildo, a smaller version of the formidable Splash. I waffled a lot about which toy to get, because the Splash is too wide for me at 1 ¾", and the Splish is too narrow for me at 1".

I went for the smaller one. I don’t know why.

The Splish feels good for about three minutes, assuming I haven’t been penetrated by anything else recently. But after that, my vagina widens with arousal and I practically can’t feel the damn thing anymore.

It’s not even long enough to reach my A-spot. And if a toy is too narrow to stroke my G-spot, it better be able to work some magic on my A-spot. The Splish can do neither.

While I might recommend the Splish for a beginner to anal play, or for someone suffering from vaginismus, I think just about everyone else would be happier with the larger Splash.

Review: Jopen Key Comet Wand

Kate Sloan

The Jopen Key Comet Wand is the must-have sex toy of 2013.

Yeah, I said it.

In previous years, everyone clamored over intriguing G-spot treasures like the Njoy Pure Wand, VixSkin Mustang, and Lelo Ella. And while I still love those toys, their time in the limelight is more-or-less over. The Comet Wand is the hot new star on the scene.

It has what is widely considered the holy trifecta of epic G-spot stimulation: a severe curve, a big bulbous head, and unrelenting firmness. This combination works for many people but you’ll want to look at your past experiences with G-spot toys to figure out if the Comet Wand is right for you. Some people have issues with curved toys catching on their pubic bone during thrusting, for example.

The Comet Wand is also too girthy for beginners, and even sometimes for me. It’s 1 ½" across at the widest point, and is 100% firm with no give whatsoever, so it’s certainly not a wimp, size-wise (but it’s not huge either).

That said, if your anatomy can contend with the Comet Wand’s size and curve, and if you like G-spot stimulation, you will freak the fuck out over this toy, guaranteed.

It provides some of the most intense G-spot sensations I’ve ever, ever encountered. I don’t squirt, but I can tell that if I did, this toy would be the catalyst of some very messy adventures. It feels so astonishingly good that sometimes I set down my clitoral vibe mid-session and just luxuriate in the sensations emanating from my vagina. That is not something that happens often for me.

The Comet Wand is made of glass dipped in smooth silicone. The glass gives it its firmness, while the silicone stops it from feeling deathly cold when you first touch it to your body. I love this combination of materials, though I will say that this particular formulation of silicone seems to eat lube like nobody’s business. I typically have to reapply at least 2 or 3 times per session. It’s worth it for me, but if you’re stingy with your lube, stay away from this dildo.

The only other real concern I have about the Comet Wand is the seam where the glass part meets the silicone. There’s a small dip that goes all the way around the toy and seems a likely culprit for collecting lube and juices. My G-spot is shallow enough that I haven’t ever needed to insert the Comet Wand that far, but liquids could still conceivably drip down into that crack, so get out your old toothbrush when it’s time for cleaning.

Other than those few issues, though… the Comet Wand is pretty close to perfect. It effortlessly strokes the fuck out of my G-spot and makes me thank my lucky stars I was born with a vagina. When sex toy reviewers look back on 2013 in a few years, they’ll think of the Comet.

Review: Leaf Spirit

Kate Sloan

Leaf is a company that tries desperately to market their toys as eco-friendly. First of all, they’re green, which looks cute as hell but doesn’t actually change their ecological footprint as far as I’m aware. Secondly, they’re rechargeable… like many, many other toys out there. And thirdly, they have a couple of other nice environmentally-conscious touches, like post-consumer recycled packaging and a natural canvas storage bag. If you’re eco-conscious, these vibes might appeal to you, but there’s really not that much setting them apart from any other rechargeable vibrator.

The one I chose, the Leaf Spirit, has a divine shape, which is what drew me to it. It’s tiny, curves to fit easily against my vulval mound, and has a gently pointed tip that my clit loves. It’s the kind of vibe that works well for use during missionary-style sex, because it fits so perfectly between bodies.

Aside from that, though, there isn’t much to love about the Spirit. Its motor, in particular, is hugely disappointing to me. At its highest speed, I’d say it’s comparable with the middle speeds of the Lelo Siri or maybe the lowest speed of the We-Vibe Tango. Translation: this is not for clits-o’-steel or even clits-o’-calcite.

Don’t get me wrong – the vibrations of the Spirit are nice (not so buzzy as to be numbing, yay!), they’re just not quite strong enough for me. If you find yourself staying on the low-to-middling speeds of your current vibrator (assuming it’s not the Hitachi or the Wahl, of course) then you might enjoy Leaf toys. I was able to reach orgasm with my Spirit once, but it took a long time and I had to pair it with a great G-spot dildo, which wouldn’t have been necessary with a vibe of passable strength.

The way the Spirit’s speed-changing mechanism works is kind of cool, if perhaps foreign to most toy users. You press its one button once to turn it on, and then hold it down any time you want to turn up the power. At any time, you can press it once to turn it off. This can be frustrating if you’re extremely accustomed to a different system, but I found it wasn’t that hard to get used to.

The Spirit has the added benefits of being waterproof and quiet, though I have to qualify that even if those are important criteria for you, the We-Vibe Tango is still better.

At about $120 depending on the store, the Leaf Spirit is ridiculously overpriced for a toy that really doesn’t deliver in the vibrations department. But if your clit is ultra-sensitive and you dig the sweet green aesthetic of Leaf toys, you might not be as disappointed as I was.

Review: Fun Factory G4 Patchy Paul

Kate Sloan

Vibrators don’t really excite me that much anymore. I’ve tried so many, and sometimes it feels like they’re all the same. Y’know?

But the Patchy Paul definitely excited me. After it spent months languishing in my wishlist, I finally decided to snap it up… and it delivered.

Fun Factory, particularly their line of G4 vibrators, is known for reeeeally intense and rumbly vibrations. This is not your mama’s vibrator (well, maybe it should be, because she would probably like it too!). This is a badass creation filled with pleasure potential.

Sometimes people ask me, “What can I get that has the power of a Hitachi without the dependence on an electrical outlet?” That’s a very tall order, and I’m not convinced that anything really fits the bill, but probably the closest is either a large Smart Wand or a G4 vibe. If your favorite masturbation accoutrements are slightly reminiscent of a jackhammer, you’ll love the motor in any G4 toy.

But why specifically the Patchy Paul? I chose it because I like texture, but not an insane amount of texture, and I also appreciate some G-spot lovin’. The Paul looks like a caterpillar, with a body that strokes your vaginal walls and a head that nuzzles your G-spot. It even has a little face – perfect for all you caterpillar fetishists out there. (Kidding. Those people aren’t reading this; they’re off looking at a nature blog somewhere. Duh.)

The Patchy Paul is rechargeable, 100% waterproof, and made of body-safe plastic and silicone. The only thing I don’t dig about it is that the vibrations are focused toward the middle of the shaft, not the tip of the toy where they ought to be… but they’re so strong that it doesn’t really affect my experience. I can use this toy vaginally or clitorally and either way, it rocks my ladyparts’ world.

The Patchy Paul has now officially become my favorite G-spot vibrator, right up there with the Lelo Mona. If you can get past its creepy caterpillar face, the two of you might end up being very happy together.

Review: Jimmyjane Form 2

Kate Sloan

Before I was a sex toy reviewer, I lusted passionately after everything Jimmyjane. I was especially curious about the Form 2, and my desire was inflamed even more when I saw that Gala Darling called the Form 2 “the best, best, best sex toy [she has] ever encountered.”

The Form 2 is a waterproof, rechargeable clitoral vibrator shaped like a pair of bunny ears or an extracted tooth. It comes in your choice of hot pink or “slate,” a dark grey color. It charges magnetically via a little dock that you can sit it on when it’s not in use. It’s covered in high-quality silicone and the bottom is stainless steel. In other words: ka-ching! This toy is luxe as hell. If it is your dream to feel like Donald Trump every time you masturbate, then you’ve arrived.

The magic of the Form 2 is in its dual motors. See, each ear has its own motor, so when you lay the toy vertically on your clit, each side gets its own dose of stimulation. I found this difficult to adjust to; normally I get off by having the top of my clit stimulated, through the hood, so stimulation of the sides felt a bit foreign. I remedied this by nestling my clit so the hood touches the valley in between the ears, which feels awesome and gets me off every single time.

But back to those dual motors… The Form 2 has some run-of-the-mill patterns, including constant vibration and short pulsations, but the winner, by a mile, is the oscillation mode. In this mode, the vibrations shift back and forth rhythmically between the two ears, and – as others have noted – it feels kind of like oral sex. Actually, I think it feels closer to oral than toys which try to feel like oral. Ever since I discovered this mode, I haven’t used the others at all, because it’s perfect.

The vibrations of the Form 2 are surprisingly strong and rumbly for how small it is. In fact, sometimes the lowest speed feels like too much when I first start using it – but then I just warm myself up by running the ears lightly over my labia and vaginal opening, and it all works out in the end.

It would be unethical of me to write a review of the Form 2 without mentioning what Epiphora calls its “fatal flaw”. Look around at almost any review of this toy and you’ll see mention of it: apparently sometimes the toy becomes very loud and the vibrations shift into the base, making it unusable. I’ve used my Form 2 many times and I’ve never encountered this glitch, but lots of people have reported it, so I feel it’s important to mention. This toy is expensive as hell and there’s no guarantee that it won’t act up (though it does come with a nice three-year warranty).

The Form 2 has become, easily, one of my very favorite clitoral vibes. It’s stronger and more pinpointed than the Lelo Siri and has better modes than the We-Vibe Tango – but it’s also more expensive and potentially less reliable than either of those toys, so take that into consideration.