silicone

Review: Happy Valley Fuze Harmony

Kate Sloan

The Harmony, sent to me by the lovely folks at SheVibe, is from Happy Valley’s new-ish Fuze line. You may remember that I gave away some Fuze butt plugs a few months ago; well, this is my first time trying a toy from this range, and I… well, I feel pretty ambivalent about it.

The Fuze toys all come in black 100% silicone. It’s a very dark, glossy, sexy black, but it shows every single piece of lint it collects (many). The silicone is firmer than Tantus’ blend but squishier than Lelo’s blend. It’s this firmness that led to me having a hellish experience with another Happy Valley product, the Joe Rock butt plug – but vaginally, it works better. I’ve learned that my G-spot responds more favorably to harder toys.

Speaking of my G-spot… The Harmony is supposed to target it, and sadly, it doesn’t really. The shaft’s curve is so minimal that it brushes right past my G-spot without taking the time to stimulate it. The very slight ripples on the top side of the dildo feel nice going in and out of my vag, but this is certainly no Acute or Tsunami – it does little or nothing to my G-spot.

Both the Harmony and its thicker counterpart the Wilde have a unique feature I’ve never seen anywhere else: a harness-friendly base that has ridges on the bottom. It’s meant to stimulate the clit of the person wearing the dildo in their harness, and I applaud Happy Valley for being innovative and taking risks in this arena. Do the ridges do anything for me when I rub them on my vulva? Not really. Not much more than a regular flat base does, even with lube. But I’m not an experienced harness user at all. I know plenty of people who would probably appreciate this feature a lot. (And it helps that there’s a hole for a bullet vibe at the base.)

With an insertable length of about 5 ½” and a girth of 1 ¼”, the Harmony is a good size for a warm-up dildo. And that’s primarily what I use it for: warm-up. It satisfies my vag easily for the first few minutes of jerking off, while my G-spot is starting up and I’m easing into penetration – but as soon as I start to get really aroused, I need something better. Try as I might, I can’t have blended orgasms with the Harmony, because what it does to my vagina is more like “passing through” than “rubbing and stroking.” It makes me wonder if I might prefer the Wilde after all, even though it’s larger than the toys I usually use, because the girth would please my love-starved G-spot better. Who knows?

I can recommend the Harmony to someone who wants a smallish dildo, ideally for harness use. I have a feeling I’d like it a lot more if it were strapped onto someone I love, but on its own, it just doesn’t satisfy.

Thanks very much, SheVibe!

Review: Tantus Mark O2

Kate Sloan

When the Tantus Mark O2 showed up at my house and I took it out of its packaging, I was creeped out. Holding it in my hands, I couldn’t escape the feeling that I was holding my boyfriend’s disembodied cock. Because seriously, the Mark’s dimensions are almost identical to those of my favorite human dick. And that, actually, is why I requested this toy.

See, I have a small-to-average-sized vagina, and Mark is an average-sized dildo. Not “average” in dildo-land, you understand, but in the realm of actual, real-life cocks. With an insertable length of 5 ½" and a diameter of 1 3/8", this dildo is an homage to the Average Joes of the world, and for that, I have to applaud Tantus.

Mark is from Tantus’s O2 line, which means it’s made of dual-density silicone – firm on the inside, squishy on the outside. It’s tons o’ fun to squeeze and fondle, just like a real cock. I have two other O2 dildos, Adam and Flurry, and they’re all excellent quality. If you want a body-safe toy that actually feels somewhat real, it’s hard to go past O2 (though, to be fair, I haven’t had the chance to try VixSkin yet).

Mark’s head isn’t very pronounced, but there is a realistic coronal ridge running around the bottom edge of it. The veins on the shaft are more noticeable aesthetically than tactilely – I can barely feel them in use.

This isn’t a G-spotting dildo. If you want G-spot lovin’ in an O2 toy, I suggest you pick up the Adam because it does a much better job of that. Mark is more about creating a sensation of fullness (for those of us who can actually be filled up by a 5 ½" x 1 3/8" dick, anyhow) than it is about hitting magic spots. I can get it to reach my A-spot when I thrust deeply with my knees bent, just like my boyfriend’s actual dick does, and that’s nice but not anything to write home about.

This dildo surprised me and earned a spot in my top drawer, because it feels great and I can have blended orgasms with it easily… but I don’t know if that means other people will like it. I feel I have a particular affinity for it, because of how much it reminds me of my love, and that’s obviously not a good criterion if I’m going to recommend this toy to anyone else. You might like Mark if you have a smaller vagina that likes smaller toys, or if you’re a trans* guy, boi, and/or harness-user in search of a truly average member. But if you crave something bigger, or you need G-spot attention, look elsewhere – Mark ain’t your boy.

Review: Tantus Acute

Kate Sloan

The Tantus Acute is my ninth Tantus toy. You think I’d be used to the company’s excellence by now. You’d think some of the charm would have worn off. But nope – my love for their toys has persevered. (Hence the zillions of Tantus reviews that have been popping up on my blog lately, and will continue to do so for a little longer!)

I saved up reward points to buy my Acute, because I’m worried it might be discontinued. It’s currently hanging out in the closeout section on Tantus’ website, often a sign of impending discontinuation. I haven’t heard anything to confirm this, but I was concerned, so I snapped one up, and I’m glad I did.

The Acute is the smallest silicone dildo I own. It has an insertable length of 5" and a diameter of 1 ¼" at its widest point. These measurements might make you think that this is a toy for beginners, and true, it would work just fine for someone with little penetration experience under their belt. But the beauty of the Acute is that it’s not just for beginners. Unless your vagina flat-out needs to be filled up in order to be satisfied, you might find the Acute surprisingly pleasing. I certainly did.

As its name suggests, the Acute boasts an acute angle. Because it’s top-heavy and leans heavily to one side, it can’t stand up by itself. I’ve been propping it up against a lube bottle and affectionately calling it “little baby,” like a child who hasn’t learned to walk yet.

But what that angle lacks in balance, it more than makes up for in G-spotting ability. The Acute is a G-spot dildo, through and through. Its pronounced head finds my spot effortlessly and rubs it with every thrust, creating that need-to-pee sensation almost immediately, while the gentle ripples along its underside massage my vaginal wall and opening. This is a dildo that knows what it wants to do, and does it very well.

Sometimes, the Acute doesn’t feel completely fulfilling, as you’d expect from a toy of its size. When that happens, I just switch to a bigger one. It makes for a great warm-up dildo. Many people love it for anal, too, since the same curve that enables it to reach the female G-spot also brings it into direct contact with the male prostate. And of course, it’s harness-compatible, so peg away, ladies.

The Tantus Acute isn’t a glamorous dildo, it doesn’t rock my world, it hasn’t changed my life. But it’s a reliable G-spotting toy that provides just enough girth for those days when my vagina needs a rest but still wants to be stimulated. It’s definitely going to be a staple of my collection for a long time to come.

Review: Tantus Tsunami

Kate Sloan

Yep, there’s been a lot of Tantus around here recently! And there’s still more to come. What can I say? I’m a lucky, lucky girl.

I count myself as especially lucky because one of the Tantus items I was sent this month is the Tsunami – and it is about as perfect as a dildo can get. Remember when I said I loved the Echo? Yeah, this is way better.

The Tsunami is designed to look like a wave, as its name suggests. It has a curvy, rounded tip, followed by three large, jutting ridges. The bottommost ridge doesn’t quite fit inside me – the Tsunami is 6 ¾" insertable, and therefore longer than my vagina – but the other two are delicious. They need a fair bit of lube before they start to feel pleasurable rather than pointy, but it’s worth it.

There are also three small ridges on the back side of the dildo, toward the bottom. I feel ambivalently about stimulation on the back wall of my vagina, but if you’re into that, you’ll appreciate this feature.

The Tsunami is made of Tantus’ classic silicone – squishy and bendable, but firm; beautifully colorful; 100% boilable and bleachable. As usual, Tantus leaves nothing to be desired in terms of material quality. And the base is flat and flared, so you can wear the Tsunami in a harness if you want to fuck your lover with a badass tidal wave.

So why do I love the Tsunami so much? I’m going to try to refrain from saying unhelpful things like “it just feels really fucking good,” and instead, try to explain why it feels so good. For one thing, its ridges are marvelous at hitting my G-spot. They stroke past it every time, with little effort on my end, and manage to be satisfying without being overly intense like some other toys can be.

But truly, the real reason I’m in love with the Tsunami is its tip. The top of the wave is smooth and rounded, and acts like a slender penis or a thick finger. And it rubs the fuck out of my A-spot.

A-spot stimulation is something I don’t hear a lot about in the sex toy reviewing world, or in the world in general. I think this is owed to the fact that many people don’t know what the A-spot is. Maybe they have some semblance of an understanding that it feels good when they thrust a dildo really deeply and hit a spot somewhere near their cervix, but they don’t know it’s an actual erogenous zone with a name and a specific location.

I’m very aware of my A-spot, or “deep spot,” because it’s the source of most of my melty, tingly, “oh my god don’t stop” feelings when my boyfriend is fucking me. I’m also hyper-aware of it because, in order to stimulate it, I have to be very careful that I don’t bump my cervix. Cervical contact is, for me, uncomfortable at best, and agonizing at worst. So it’s bloody annoying that one of my favorite pleasure zones is located right next to my cervix.

But back to the Tsunami… Its tip has the perfect shape, size, squishiness, and curve to hit my A-spot without ever giving my cervix any grief. And that’s the main reason that the Tsunami will remain in the top drawer of my sex toy storage system, along with other all-time favorites like the Fling and the Amethyst. When I’m craving deep, satisfying, intuitive A-spot stimulation (with some kickass G-spot rubbing to boot), I’ll reach for the Tsunami.

Now, before I demand that every one of my readers buy one of these dildos, let’s just make sure you know what you’re getting into… This toy is 1 ¾" at its widest point. It’s squishy, so I can fit it inside me even though I’m on the smaller side, but it needs plenty of lube. If you’re tiny, you’ll want to skip this one (or just use the upper half, which, frankly, robs you of the toy’s greatest advantage). Likewise, if you don’t like texture, this is definitely not the dildo for you. And if you’re a size queen in search of something to stretch you and fill you up, the Tsunami won’t do it.

But if you like ridges on your G-spot, and firm but sweet A-spot stimulation, and both of those things in tandem… well, you need the Tsunami, pronto.

Thanks so much, PinkCherry.ca, for this stunning piece of silicone!

Review: Tantus Dipper

Kate Sloan

Normally, when I request a toy to review, it’s because I have some inkling that I might enjoy it. I check out its measurements, examine its features, compare it to other toys I’ve tried, and if it seems like it might work for me, I request it. But when I asked PinkCherry.ca to send me a Tantus Dipper, it wasn’t because I thought I would like it – it was because it kind of scared me, and I thought it’d be a good challenge.

The Dipper is my first textured butt plug. All the other plugs that my ass has enveloped have been smooth, easily made slick with lube. The Dipper has the same diameter as the Ryder, the biggest plug I’ve taken up the butt, but because the Dipper is covered in deep ridges, it feels even more challenging.

Like all the Tantus toys I’ve tried, the Dipper is made of 100% silicone. It’s quite dense in the body and base of the plug, so those parts have hardly any give at all, but the neck is thinner so it’s flexible. This, as I learned from the too-rigid Joe Rock, is a good quality in a plug.

Looking at the Dipper as I pulled it out of its standard plastic packaging, I thought, This is going to hurt. On Twitter, I referred to it as the Ridged Butt Plug of Doom. I braced myself for trouble.

After warming up with a smaller toy and dumping a bunch of water-based lube on the Dipper, I slowly, slowly guided it into my ass. It felt foreign and uncomfortable at first, as my butt met texture for the first time. I reached the widest point of the plug – 1 ½" – and it stretched and hurt a tiny bit, but I kept on pushing until the Dipper slid home with a satisfying pop.

I spent the next few hours doing various household activities while wearing the Dipper. I can report that it stays in place better than any other plug I’ve tried. There is no moment at which I feel like this toy is going to come out; it doesn’t even feel like it’s moving at all. It’s anchored, and that’s awesome.

The Dipper’s neck and base are very comfortable. I thought the base might feel weird, since it’s spherical, unlike the narrow rectangular plug bases I’m used to – but it nestles nicely between my cheeks and doesn’t bother me at all.

Sitting with the Dipper in is sometimes a bit tricky, because the plug’s tip is pointed and can jab my innards if I sit down the wrong way. I’d recommend that you go slowly if you want to sit or move around a lot with this plug inside you.

I love that the Dipper is small enough that I can use another toy vaginally while it’s in. This doesn’t feel as fabulous as I thought it would – maybe I’m just not a fan of anal texture? – but it’s always cool to have the option.

Tantus normally gets everything right, but the Dipper has a very noticeable seam running down each side of it, from the tip of the plug to the bottom of its base. This seems glaringly incongruent with my other Tantus toys, which are sleek and seamless (as far as I’ve been able to tell, anyway). I don’t feel the seam in use, but it’s obnoxious that it’s there. Nothing that rubs against sensitive tissues should ever have sharp seams on it.

I’m not a big fan of the ridges, to be honest. I think I would like this plug a whole lot more if it had the same shape and dimensions but was smooth. For me, the ridges do nothing but create discomfort during insertion and removal. And they’re incredibly difficult to clean. On the plus side, they do allow the toy to hang onto lube fairly well.

So who would I recommend the Tantus Dipper for? Someone whose butt loves texture. Someone who wants a plug for long-term wear and has some anal experience under hir* belt. Someone who has a fondness for sex toys that resemble BDSM torture devices (or could even be used as such). If you fall into one or two or all three of these categories, there’s a very good chance you could fall in love with the Dipper. But if your butt’s a wimp, give this one a pass and consider picking up the much tamer Ripple instead.

Thanks, PinkCherry.ca!

*Yep, I used a gender-neutral pronoun.