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Review: Tantaly Scarlett Mini Sex Doll

Kate Sloan
Yes, I am wearing socks! Deal with it! 😂

Recently, sex doll company Tantaly reached out to me about doing a review. I asked my partner mb if they wanted to try a sex doll, and… of course they did! The one we picked is the Scarlett mini sex doll, and you can use the code GirlyJuice10 to get 10% off your entire order if you choose to buy Scarlett or any other doll on Tantaly’s site.

This isn’t a typical review; it’s a transcribed interview we did while mb was testing out the doll in various ways at my behest. So, be aware that there is sexual activity in this interview! I hope you enjoy…

Kate: Why did you choose this doll in particular?

mb: I looked at all of them, and there’s some weird things about the way that they’re sectioned on the website. The weirdest thing is that all of the ones that have Black skin are in a separate section that you don’t see by default, which is very strange and very weird. But they also separate full-size dolls from miniature ones. And I was thinking, I have a pretty small apartment and I don’t have a ton of room to store a human-sized object, so I looked at the miniature ones. I think this the best-reviewed or the most-purchased of those. Also, there are some that only have one entry hole, and I wanted to test one that had two at least.

Kate: How did you feel when the package arrived and you opened her up for the first time?

mb: Good question. Well, I live in a doorman building, so the first thing I felt was kind of like, Oh, it sucks that someone had to carry this 15-pound thing up to my apartment… They probably put it on a cart, but still I felt a little weird about that. And then I was like, well, could they tell it was a sex doll? They’re going to judge me every time I walk through my lobby. And I looked at the label on the box and I was like, no, it’s not obvious. Okay.

And then I was just curious. I was like, what’s it gonna feel like? Because I’d only seen pictures of a sex doll. I hadn’t really touched one before this, in a store or anything. So I didn’t know exactly what it would be like. What did you think when it arrived?

Kate: Oh, I mean, she’s very tiny.

mb: Yes. That’s… yes. After I opened it, that was my thought too. The smallest.

Kate: Well, at least she’s proportional, so she doesn’t look like a toddler, which is what I was concerned about.

mb: I was also concerned about that. Yes. I looked at the pictures and I was like, am I going to feel like this is weird for that reason? And no, I don’t think so. I mean, some people might, and that’s fine, but definitely it seems like an adult, even though your brain has to do some kind of like weird thing where it’s like, this is not an adult-sized person, so your brain kind of maps a human body onto this tiny thing. And I think my brain does that fairly naturally, even though the belly button is the size of, like, the tip of my pinky, but, you know.

Kate: What were your expectations about how using the doll would make you feel, both physically and emotionally?

mb: I had no idea how it would feel emotionally. That’s what I was most curious about. Physically, I figured it would just feel like fucking something, but not like fucking a person. And it felt more like fucking a person than I thought it would.

Kate: In what sense?

mb: I think the main reason is I don’t fuck strokers in the same position that I would fuck a sex doll. So they feel more like masturbating just because of the… like, I’m lying on my back, and I’m like doing a thing with my hand, whereas if I’m prone and like, fucking something, that feels different, just qualitatively, and I’m feeling a skin-like texture against me at the same time. With the visual, it all combines into a different feeling from a stroker.

Kate: Yeah. I was going to ask you, when would you tend to choose a sex doll over a stroker, or a stroker over a sex doll?

mb: If I was with a partner and I wanted to use a toy, I’d probably pick a stroker, unless there was some fantasy element where the sex doll came into play, like a threesome or a cuckolding scene or something. If I was by myself, I would pick a stroker if I was going for “quick and easy,” if I didn’t want to lug something out and have to clean it out in the sink afterward and the whole thing. But if I was missing human connection and I was alone and I had time, then I would use the doll, I think.

Kate: Can you go down on her a little bit?

[mb performs cunnilingus on the doll]

Kate: How would you compare this to the real thing, as a fan of cunnilingus?

mb: Hmm. Well, you can feel all the parts of the vulva, which is great. You don’t get any reactions, obviously, so you have to be able to imagine the reactions, which I can – or not care about them, I suppose. The textures are right. The taste is obviously not, since it’s not human skin so it’s not going to taste like that. And the smell is not right, but it’s not distracting or bothersome either. It’s totally fine. It’s the best version of fantasizing about oral sex that I’ve had, ’cause you’re in the right position and you have all the parts and all the parts feel like the right size and shape and they’re in the right spots. So that’s very helpful for constructing that fantasy.

Kate: Yeah. I was going to ask you, would you ever do this in the absence of a human partner to go down on?

mb: Oh yeah, totally. Cause like I love going down on people and that would be a turn-on for me inherently.

Kate:  Hmm. Interesting. Do you think on a fantasy level, you think of the doll more as a stand-in for a real-life person, or as its own sexual entity?

mb: Oh gosh. Well, I don’t think of it as a stand-in for a specific person. Like, I don’t think about a specific person usually when I’m touching it. So in that way, I guess it’s its own sexual entity. And I think it would be hard to mentally map this smaller-than-human body onto a specific regular-size human. Maybe with a full-size one, you could more easily order one that looks like the person you want to fantasize about, but for me, I think it’s its own thing.

If I was doing this by myself, I would put on cunnilingus porn just for the sounds.

Kate: Yeah, that makes sense.

mb: Yeah. That’s the biggest thing that’s missing. Taste is missing, and that’s a big thing, but the biggest thing is actually sound.

Kate: Hmm. Okay. Lie down and touch yourself to get yourself hard, and I’ll ask you another question while you do that.

mb: Okay.

Kate: It’s not a very arousing question.

mb: [laughs] That’s fine.

Kate: How do you feel about her being a headless, disembodied torso? Does it affect your experience in any way?

mb: It definitely is something you have to work around, but it’s not that hard for me to work around it. Like when I’m going down on it and I’m looking up, I can easily sort of screen that stuff out of my peripheral vision. The planes [of the thighs and neck] are super flat and smooth, so it’s not creepy or distracting and doesn’t feel like it’s been dismembered or anything. It’s just like, it’s an object. And the lack of a head might actually be a good thing, because I think if there was a face, it would never really look like a human face and it would freak me out.

Kate: Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah. I want you to start fucking her front hole.

[mb fucks the doll’s vagina]

Kate: Next question is, what does its vagina feel like?

mb: We’re switching between “she” and “it” pronouns. I don’t really know its pronouns. Um, it’s textured. It’s nicely textured on all sides. I can feel the lips. They feel aroused when I press against them, which is nice. It can take my whole cock, which is nice. It’s not quite as tight as the Quickshot, but it has a very realistic human tightness. There’s nothing super crazy at the back. Some Tenga toys have a really wild texture toward the back of the sleeve, and I don’t think it has that.

Kate: Okay. When you’re ready, you can flip her over and try the back hole and tell me what that feels like. [mb flips the doll over] Wow, her back is gorgeous.

mb: That was one of the first things I noticed too. I like that she’s very stable in this position.

[mb starts fucking the doll’s butt]

Kate: Does it freak you out that you can see your dick moving through her back?

mb: Yeah. That does… When I focus on that, it does freak me out a little bit. ‘Cause if that was happening with a human, I’d be like, where’s your spine?! There’s wire in here, but it’s not where the spine is. The spine area is just all squishy. The butt has a good bounce to it, too.

Kate: Does it feel like you’re having anal sex? Physically or psychologically?

mb: Yeah, it does.

Kate: Hmm. How does coming in the doll feel different from coming inside me?

mb: It’s the same as with the oral – there’s no reactions. I’m missing the sounds and the gripping and stuff.

Kate: Okay. Whenever you’re ready, fuck her tits a little bit. And I’ll ask you about that.

mb: Okay.

[mb tries to fuck the doll’s tits]

Kate: You didn’t like this as much when we tried it before, right?

mb: I don’t really know… Yeah, it just doesn’t do anything. The boobs are not close enough together. You can’t really even push them together. It just doesn’t work. No, I can’t fuck them. Too far apart.

Kate: What’s your overall review?

mb: How much does it cost?

Kate: Like 200 bucks or something. [Editor’s note: It costs $209.99.]

mb: Yeah. I think it’s good. For that price, it’s good.

Kate: Do you think you’re going to use it even after we’ve already reviewed it?

mb: Yeah! It’s useful for like, if you’re long-distance and your partner’s super into pearl necklaces or anal or whatever; you have a prop, and you can shoot nudes with it that aren’t just, like, your dick.

Kate: Yup. That’s good. Definitely good for an LDR.

Thanks so much to Tantaly for sending us the Scarlett mini sex doll to review! Remember, you can get 10% off your order from Tantaly by using the code GirlyJuice10 at checkout. This post was sponsored, which means we were paid to provide a fair and honest review of the product.

I Miss Strip Clubs (…But I’ve Only Ever Been to One)

Kate Sloan
I don’t have any photos of strip clubs, but I do have this picture of me naked at a sex club… Close enough, I guess?!

One of the first things I learned about Portland upon arriving there was that it apparently has some of the best strip clubs in the country. I didn’t know how or why this was true yet, but my friends who lived there insisted that it was. I believed them wholeheartedly. I put on a low-cut dress and some sparkly shoes, and off we went.

It turns out that the reason Portland’s strip clubs are so great is partly a legal one: unlike clubs in some other states, they’re allowed to show you full nudity on stage – and to serve alcohol. While I’m sure that’s a combination that can get messy at times, on the night I took advantage of these two freedoms, it was nothing but bliss.

My friends and I crowded along the tip rail, clutching dollar bills and cocktails. Boobs were shoved in my face. Thighs were parted directly in front of me. I could hear the squeak of hot skin against the metal pole. My glasses – worn so I could see the dancers’ beautiful bodies better – were complimented and then removed from my face to prevent them from getting smashed by errant legs. It was a whirlwind of soft flesh, big beats, sweet drinks, and good vibes. I threw money onto the stage with abandon during every dance, mesmerized.

I thought of this recently when I read sex journalist Tracy Clark-Flory’s new memoir Want Me, in which she recounts – among numerous other things – many a night spent as a customer at local strip clubs, drinking in the atmosphere, tipping dancers, and intermingling bittersweetly with the raucous dudes in the crowd. While acknowledging that strippers are people and that sex workers don’t deserve to be reduced to stereotypes or props, Tracy also notes that being in that type of sexually charged space made her feel empowered and excited, in a way that may be unique to female clientele at strip clubs. It’s a very particular experience, and one that I miss, despite only having tried it once.

That’s right – I, a seasoned sex writer, have only been to a strip club ONCE!! This is 100% just because of social anxiety – I basically can’t go to unfamiliar places without someone to accompany me, and such plans have never lined up quite right for me to be able to check out a strip club in Toronto, where I live. I dearly wish I was the type of woman who could be brave enough to stroll confidently into a strip club, solo, but that’s just not who I am (yet?). I could always look into making a private exotic dancer booking, for a less nervewracking experience, but I miss the atmosphere of a strip club itself just as much as I crave seeing strippers show off their talents.

The pandemic has been a potent time for reflecting on regrets, and fantasizing about the future. Everyone I know seems to have a mental list of things they want to do, people they want to see, and places they want to go – whether for the first time or the hundredth – when they’re safely able to again. The more that I think about it, the more I realize that going to a strip club is one of those wistful wishes for me. In many ways it feels like the polar opposite of what the pandemic has entailed: people crowded closely together, maskless, eating and drinking and staring up at charismatic naked beauties on stage. I’m no expert, but I would imagine that a lot of the people who regularly go to strip clubs do so in part because they like the bustling and in-your-face vivid vibe of that environment – otherwise, wouldn’t they just stay home and watch striptease videos? – and all these months of social distancing have given me an increased appreciation for that type of energy.

I’ll still be deeply nervous when I eventually go to a strip club again, I’m sure. This year of lockdown hasn’t magically transformed me into a shameless extrovert. But I think I’ll have an even greater appreciation for strip shows now than I did before, especially having seen how much sex workers – an already profoundly stigmatized and marginalized group – struggled to make ends meet during these lean times.

I’m not really religious, but I could see how going to a strip club after a pandemic could be a spiritual experience. What secular act could be more church-like than gathering in a darkened room with other congregants, imbibing sacred libations, and tithing dollar bills to dazzling goddesses dancing under dappled lights?

 

This post was sponsored. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

9 Ways to Access Pleasure & Intimacy Without Having Sex

Kate Sloan

What with pandemic stress, chronic pain, and a shifting libido as I get older, sometimes I just don’t feel like having sex, even though I genuinely think my partner is the hottest person in the world. Sexuality is mysterious like that.

That said, I’m lucky enough to be with someone who understands that “standard” sex is not the only way to feel connected to a partner, make them feel good, or express your love for them.

Here are 9 ways you could have a pleasurable, body-based, and/or romantic experience with your partner, without delving into “sex” territory:

 

1. Masturbate together. A classic! I love to do this when I’m too tired/achy to put much actual effort into sex. Bonus points for using a good wand vibrator – it makes getting off much easier for me and also enables me to focus more on my partner because I can just “set it and forget it” on my clit.

2. Just cuddle, without expectations. I remember when I was ~16 and cuddling with a romantic prospect felt like the most exciting, intimate thing in the world. It still can be! If you find it awkward or boring to just lie there, you could watch TV or listen to a podcast together while you snuggle up.

3. Give or receive a massage. There are soooo many styles of massage to learn about and try out, from Swedish massage to Tantric massage to hot stone massage – but even just keeping it super basic with some massage oil and unskilled rubbing can be blissful and connective.

4. Watch comedy or horror together. Weird pairing, I know – but I really do think these genres are two sides of the same coin, neurochemically. If you pick an uproarious comedy or a terrifying horror flick to watch with your sweetie, the two of you will go through some intense feelings together, which can be connective in and of itself – plus you’ll get the endorphin rush associated with laughing super hard or getting scared shitless. (If you need recommendations: my all-time favorite comedies include The Birdcage, Anchorman, The Producers, and Down With Love, while my fave horror movies include Get Out, The Exorcist, Midsommar, and It.)

5. Draw on each other. My friend Casia Sobolewski loves to do this, and first introduced me to its sensual pleasures. Get out an assortment of different-colored markers – ideally the washable kind that kids use, not Sharpies! – and create some art on one another’s bodies. In addition to being a delightful creative project, this also creates a tickly, sensuous feeling on your skin that is truly unique and even kinda sexy.

6. Do spa treatments on each other. My partner is a foot fetishist so I imagine they’d be quite keen to give me a pedicure if I asked; what spa-esque procedures would you find fun to do for a partner? Apply a goopy sheet mask to their face? Shave their legs in a vaguely kinky manner? Moisturize every inch of their skin?

7. Indulge in sadomasochism. Now, certainly it’s debatable whether kink “counts” as “not sex,” since – for many kinky people, myself included – kink scenes often feel like sex and essentially are sex even if there’s no genital contact, orgasms, etc. But it’s good to be reminded that kink is an option for when more conventional/vanilla sex feels inaccessible or unappealing! I can think of few things that make me feel closer to my partner, or more loved by them, than receiving a lengthy hand-spanking, flogging, or paddling.

8. Have a singalong. If one or both of you play an instrument and can do live accompaniment, so much the better! But you can also just pull up some karaoke tracks from YouTube or Spotify, or just sing along to your favorite tunes. Making music with a loved one is tons of fun and feels like a collaborative project, kinda like sex in its own way.

9. Meditate together. If you’re spiritually inclined, or just interested in mindfulness, this could be an interesting couples’ activity. I imagine it’d be grounding and refocusing to hold hands with my partner while we both meditate; afterward, we could talk about how it all felt, and what we thought of the experience.

 

What non-sexual activities do you find sensually pleasing and connective to do with your partner(s)?

 

This post was sponsored. As always all writing and opinions are my own.

6 Ways to Simulate Group Sex

Kate Sloan
Photo by Kynan (I think?) of glass dildos some friends and I made together in 2015

As scads of people get vaccinated, and lockdowns start to lift in response, I’m seeing more and more jokes on social media about options for group sex opening up as well. For friends of mine whose lives ordinarily contain a high concentration of threesomes, foursomes, and moresomes, the pandemic has brought on a particular type of group-oriented touch starvation that many are hoping to rectify as soon as it’s safe to do so.

But I’m also seeing a common sentiment among these folks that despite their previous willingness to jump into such activities (and more power to ’em), they’re nonetheless feeling hesitant to wade back into those risky waters when we’ve spent the past year avoiding other people like… well… the plague. Sure, depending on your vaccine status, it may or may not be medically okay for you to go hook up with a handful of other vaxxed folks who you find on dating sites like Tinder for Couples, but will it feel okay psychologically just yet? Maybe not. And that’s quite reasonable!

For anyone who’s unable, unwilling, or just hesitant to hop back into group sex, but still craves it, here are some suggestions for replicating it without the actual “group” part…

1. Fantasize. I’m sure you’ve been doing this already if you’re orgiastically inclined! Break out your filthiest mental images and imaginings, during either masturbation or partnered sex. It’ll amp up your excitement, plus studies show we’re better equipped to handle situations we’ve already visualized and practiced in our minds.

2. Use sex toys. A realistic dildo can help you feel like there’s another dick in the room; a full-lipped Fleshlight can feel like an additional mouth has joined the chat; hell, if you’re lucky enough to own a sex doll, you can dress it up (or strip it down) to create the sense of another horny person’s presence. Toys aren’t the same as another human being, naturally, but they’re a decent stopgap measure for the time being.

3. Incorporate bondage and sensory deprivation. If you’re tied down and can’t see what’s happening, it’s much easier to suspend your disbelief and go along with a fantasy that someone else is in the room with you. Maybe your partner could put on some group-sex porn to create a sexy sonic backdrop for your scene, and then silently pretend to be a near-stranger touching you while you squirm and writhe.

4. Talk dirty about it. Whether in person, over the phone, or via text, you can share fantasies with a partner (or hopeful future partner!) about what you’d like to do in a group scenario. This, again, is a lovely way to ponder your desires so you’ll be better equipped to pursue them when it’s safe to do so – and perhaps to commiserate with someone who is feeling similarly orgy-hungry!

5. Zoom with friends. If you’re a kinky pervert, you probably have friends who are too, or at least online acquaintances. See if they’re missing group sex as much as you are; maybe they’d be up for a Zoom orgy, Skype threesome, friendly fuck over FaceTime, etc.

6. Put on a cam show. For some people, much of group sex’s appeal comes from its exhibitionistic qualities. If performing for others is the main thing you’re missing, you can always hop onto a cam site (such as tinderforcouples.org, which has a live cam chat feature) and show off for adoring strangers. Just be sure to cover your face and any identifying tattoos, birthmarks, etc. if you want to protect your privacy.

Folks who are missing group sex, what has helped you deal with this craving during the pandemic?

 

This post was sponsored. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Protocol Diaries: I’ll Have What They’re Having

Kate Sloan

Wouldn’t it be great if you could order your ideal sexual experience off a menu? Well, in certain sex work contexts you can… but that’s not exactly what I’m talking about here.

For a couple months or so, my partner and I have been using two shared notes in our Notes app to basically do exactly that. It’s a communication tool that has helped us both, particularly in these stressful times when it can be hard to drum up the energy for good sex, let alone good, clear, useful communication about sex. The two notes are called the Sex Menu and the Porn Menu, and I’ll talk about them both here incase any of you find this idea useful and want to “yoink” it for your own sex life. (All credit goes to mb for inventing these innovations – I’m blessed to have a spouse just as sex-nerdy as I am, and much more tech-nerdy than I am, who comes up with inventive and sexy usages for things like the Notes app!)

 

The Sex Menu is a checklist of all the sex and kink acts that my partner and I do regularly, ranging from the tame (kissing, breast stimulation, oral sex) to the wild (watersports, electrostimulation, ruined orgasms). As I’m the more submissive/bottom-y person in our dynamic, usually I fill it out to give my partner a sense of all the things I’m up for during a particular session, so that they don’t have to individually ask me about each and every thing they’re considering doing.

However, sometimes we switch it up by having them fill it out so that I can then go through it and uncheck anything I definitely don’t want to do. I tend to have more limits and limitations than my partner does, just due to the nature of our differing brains and bodies, so this works best for us, though of course you can adapt it to suit your particular dynamic.

This tool is especially wonderful for those of us who have a hard time asserting our boundaries and/or stating our desires; it gives me a way to express those things without feeling like I’m being rude, demanding, or overbearing. It also helps remind me of all the acts and toys I tend to forget about; on a stressful day I might not remember that a wax-play scene could help reduce my anxiety, until I see wax on the list and go, “Oh yeah! That could work.”

Because I have a chronic pain disorder, we keep a spot at the top of the Sex Menu for me to fill out my pain level du jour and the locations of the pain. This gives my partner a clear picture of what my body might be capable or incapable of on a particular night. Communicating about my pain can be difficult for me, especially when I feel I’ve been complaining about it a lot lately (which is usually the case these days, tbh), so I like having a built-in spot to describe it; it takes the pressure off me to be my own proactive health advocate.

 

The Porn Menu is another document, in which one of us will prepare a set of links to 2-3 porn videos for us to watch together before having sex. I have found shared porn-viewing to be a super useful pre-sex practice for me this past year, when pandemic stress has made my already-finicky libido even tougher to coax into action. Since my desire is responsive (à la “dual-control model of sexual response” as laid out in Emily Nagoski’s book Come As You Are), I usually need a little help – or a lot of help – to get turned on, and porn has almost always been a big source of that help for me.

My partner and I are both not the biggest fans of mainstream porn with high production values, and tend toward buying clips from indie creators instead. (Pay for your porn if you want porn to keep existing!) Usually we’ll try to match up our porn choices to what we’ve selected on the Sex Menu, so if I said I want oral, I’ll look for cunnilingus porn, and if I said I want to be fucked with a dildo, I’ll scroll through dildo porn sites – you get the picture!

 

Used in tandem, these two “menus” help me and my partner get on the same page about the sex we want to have, and get turned on together even when our lives are stressful. They’re also a reminder that sometimes the simplest communication tools are the best ones!

 

 

This post was sponsored by the folks at MyPornAdviser – feel free to check out their Anilos review if you’re curious about MILF porn! As always, all writing and opinions in this post are my own.