Tantus

The Best and Worst Toys of 2013

Kate Sloan

It’s that time, folks! Here are my favorite and least favorite toys I reviewed this year (some of which actually launched this year, some of which didn’t)…

Best G-spot dildo: Without a doubt, the Jopen Key Comet Wand. This silicone/glass hybrid launched early in the year and knocked the socks off most sex toy reviewers who tried it, myself included. It produces shockingly intense G-spot sensations and looks gorgeous all the while. (Available at Sex Toys Canada and Early to Bed.)

Best glass dildo: The SSA Glass Royal Adventure. Glass toys can be hit-or-miss, because a shitty design can make for a very uncomfortable or even painful toy – but the Royal Adventure suffers from none of these issues. Its corkscrew-like texture massages my vaginal walls and its slightly bulging head feels lovely on my G-spot. (Sadly no longer available; these are similar: Icicles no. 5, Mr. Swirly, Pink Swirled Delight.)

Best realistic dildo: The VixSkin Maverick. I finally got around to trying this one after worrying for months about whether or not my vagina would be able to accommodate it, and I surprised myself with my vaginal proficiency! The Maverick is an ultra-satisfying monster of a dildo, with a G-spot-pleasing mega-sized coronal ridge. It wears well in a harness, too! (Available at Lovehoney.)

Best vibrator: The Lelo Mona 2. I haven’t reviewed this one yet, but it was, without a doubt, the best vibrator of the year. Strong, rumbly, rechargeable, waterproof, quiet, versatile, elegant, and ergonomic. If you can only afford one vibrator, get this one. (Available at SheVibe, Sex Toys Canada, and Lovehoney.)

Best sex toy innovation: The Fun Factory Stronic Eins. There are no other toys on the market that pulsate like the Stronic line, though I’m sure there will be by this time next year, given the success of these toys. The Stronic Eins is the ultimate in lazy masturbation and is a dream come true for folks who fantasize about PIV sex. And it comes in an obnoxiously bright pink hue. (Available at Sex Toys Canada, Early to Bed and Lovehoney.)

Best kink implement: The Tantus silicone paddles. My favorite is the Wham Bam but you’ll get a rollicking good time out of any one of them. (Available at Tantus, Peepshow and Lovehoney.)

Worst dildo: Indubitably the Joyful Pleasures Joyful Plant. I requested it knowing I wouldn’t like it, and naturally, I didn’t. I mean, it’s shaped like a tiny eggplant. At least now I have a cool story to tell when people ask me about the weirdest toy I’ve ever reviewed. (No longer available)

Worst vibrator: It was a bad year for vibrators. Very few high-end (i.e. body-safe and rechargeable or electric) vibes launched, and those that did were mostly shitty. But the ones I hated most out of all the vibes I reviewed this year were the Leaf Spirit and Fun Factory LayaSpot. They were too weak to get me off, and I didn’t like their color schemes much either. (Leaf Spirit available at Sex Toys Canada. Fun Factory LayaSpot available at Sex Toys Canada and Lovehoney.)

Worst butt toy: The Something Forbidden plug. Literally one of the worst toys I have ever reviewed, in terms of safety and design. My butt still fears it. (Available at SheVibe and Lovehoney.)

Worst sex toy innovation: Another one I haven’t reviewed yet – the Lelo Ida. You’ll have to wait for my full review to come out, but for now, just know that I literally screamed in pain the first time I used it. (Available at SheVibe.)

Worst kink implement: The Sportsheets Doggie-Style Strap. I’m sure it would be useful for some folks, but my boyfriend and I got no benefit out of it whatsoever. I might try to work it into a future outfit as a pink cummerbund. (Available at SheVibe.)

Aaaand that’s a wrap! I’m going to take a little blogging break until the new year, methinks – and then I’ll be back with more sex toy reviews and sexual musings in 2014!

What were your favorite (and least favorite) toys of the year? What do you hope to see next year?

Review: Tantus G-Spot

Kate Sloan

The Tantus G-Spot’s name is short and to-the-point. This is a G-spot toy and it’s made by Tantus. That’s all you really need to know in order to understand that this is a damn fine toy.

I was lucky enough to be sent a G-Spot in the glorious pearl white color (which has been discontinued, so act fast if you like it!). After oohing and aahing over the gorgeous, almost luminescent color, my first impression of the toy was that it’s bigger than I was expecting. It’s 1.7″ in diameter at its widest point (the bulgy head) and has a full 7″ of insertable length, though with the way it’s designed, you won’t be inserting all of those inches.

I’m actually surprised, as I write and research this review, to discover that the G-Spot’s diameter is 1.7″. If you’d asked me to guess based on vagina-feel alone, I’d’ve said 1.5″ – entry is sometimes a liiiittle uncomfortable without warm-up, but it feels filling and comfy once it’s in. I guess my vagina’s horizons are expanding?

The thickness of this toy is what gives it the firmness it needs to be a good G-spot stimulator. Flimsier silicone dildos, like the Charmer, often have so much squish that they feel almost wimpy, but the G-Spot is a tough, robust dildo. It’s up to the task.

Once I insert this dildo, it finds my G-spot immediately. No hassle, no fumbling around, no wondering if I’ve got it in the right place. Tantus always describes their toys as being “anatomically targeted” and this one absolutely is. That’s a feature that would make it great for partner play: just tell your partner to stick it in and thrust, and chances are, it’ll feel good.

I don’t thrust the G-Spot in wide motions; I keep it more-or-less in the same spot and sort of jiggle it in and out. The subtle swells and valleys on the toy’s shaft make this super easy and comfortable to do – again, very anatomically targeted.

The base is thick and sturdy, and I love that. I never lose hold of it while I’m in the moment.

And the head… oh god, that head. It is exactly what a G-spotting head should be shaped like: round and bulbous. It’s like a very large fingertip or a very small fist. Mmm mmm good.

This toy’s sensations aren’t quite as intense as those of the Pure Wand or Comet Wand, because of course, silicone isn’t as firm as steel or glass. But honestly, lately I’ve been noticing that G-spot play with super-firm toys doesn’t feel all that comfortable for me anymore – the need-to-pee sensation overpowers my pleasure and I find it hard to focus. If you feel similarly, you’ll probably like the Tantus G-Spot; it has all the G-spot-locating skill of those other toys but is a little gentler. This is the toy that has gotten me back into G-spot stimulation after avoiding it for a while out of discomfort.

If you want a Tantus G-Spot, you’re in luck: the white non-vibrating version is on closeout sale. Frankly, just about everyone could use another G-spot toy in their collection, and this one is so damn cheap and great that it’s a no-brainer.

Thanks, Tantus! You always treat me right!

Review: Tantus Pack ‘n’ Play #1

Kate Sloan

I used to cringe over realistic dildos, but now I am staunchly in favor of them. The Tantus Pack ‘n’ Play #1 is one such dildo and, predictably for Tantus, it’s lovely.

For those who don’t know what a “pack ‘n’ play” is, let me bring you up to speed: it’s a (usually realistic) dildo that’s flexible enough to be “packed” (worn under clothes, in a harness) but still firm enough that it can be used for “play” (i.e. fucking) as necessary. They’re great for trans guys seeking to deal with dysphoria, so I hear, but they’re also ideal for anyone of any gender who plans on engaging in strap-on play and wants to have their cock at the ready – maybe after a dinner date or something. They’re really quite an ingenious invention.

At least, in theory. This Tantus pack ‘n’ play works wonderfully for play but leaves something to be desired in the packing department. It’s squishy, yeah, but not so much that you can wear it under close-fitting pants without looking like you have a boner. If that’s the look you’re going for, more power to you, but it’s far from discreet.

The squishiness is perfection and I dearly hope Tantus will come out with more toys that have this VixSkin-like flexibility. It’s much more comfortable than their O2 formulation, if you ask me, but it’s still got enough firmness that it doesn’t feel wimpy in my vag.

This toy is a total A-spot champ, which is great for me because I’m obsessed with A-spot stimulation. It has the holy duality of oh-fuck-yes A-spot power: long enough to reach the spot (6.5" insertable) and soft enough to avoid upsetting my cervix when inserted all the way.

This is actually the first toy that’s caused me to notice the hyper-lubricating effect described by the A-spot’s discoverer, Dr. Chua Chee Ann: the Pack ‘n’ Play #1 always seems to be dripping with lady-come when I’m done using it. (Uh, is that TMI?) Sometimes I look at it and I’m like, “What the fuck?!” but I guess that means the toy is doing its job.

Initial insertion is always a bit painful with this toy. Its widest diameter is 1.75" and that happens fairly soon in the insertion process, right where the head meets the shaft. Tiny-vagina’ed folks, beware!

However, that swollen head, once inserted, presses super-snugly against my G-spot, so it’s worth the small amount of pain involved.

The toy’s base is chunky and easy to grab onto and thrust with. I have done some seriously speedy thrusting while using this bad boy, because that’s the kind of action my A-spot craves when I’m getting close to coming, and it has yet to slip out of my grasp at any point. Yay.

If you are intrigued by the shape of this toy but you want something firmer, the Vamp is just about identical except that it’s made of straight-up silicone, not dual-density, and is a paler color (because it’s meant to be a vampire dick, duh). The Vamp I have is older, so it has a shorter and narrower shaft than the Pack ‘n’ Play, but it’s since been updated, so if you order a Vamp now, it’ll be the exact same size and shape as the toy I’m reviewing.

One issue with dual-density silicone that kind of sucks: the bottom of the base inexplicably starts to dome outward after some time. (I’m using the word “inexplicable” because that’s how it feels to me, although I’m sure there is some sciencey explanation for it.) This means that my Pack ‘n’ Play acts like a bobblehead: if I nudge it while it’s standing up, it sways back and forth but doesn’t quite fall over. If my other dual-density dildos are any indication, this problem will get worse as time goes on, until eventually the dildo can’t stand up on its own at all. That won’t matter to most folks, though.

My A-spot is smitten with the Pack ‘n’ Play #1, even though it doesn’t perform very well as a packer and doesn’t do much for any other part of my vagina. Ah well; sometimes you fall in love with a toy for one very specific usage and turn a blind eye to its other issues. For the average consumer, though, I’d recommend the Tsunami instead: despite its strange appearance, it’s actually a far more versatile toy than the Pack ‘n’ Play.

Thank you so much to Tantus for sending me this toy!

Review: Tantus Curve

Kate Sloan

The Tantus Curve is the general practitioner of dildos. It can fulfill your most basic of dildo needs, halfway and perfunctorily, but if you have a specific wish you want a dildo to grant, you’ll probably need a referral to a specialist.

Want G-spot stimulation that’ll make your knees quiver? Check out the Adam O2 or Acute. Want to give your A-spot a good strokin’? Try the Tsunami. Craving a ton of texture? The Splash and Charmer have got you covered.

The Curve can meet all of these needs; it just doesn’t do any of them all that well. It might be a good choice for you if you use your dildos a lot of different ways but don’t have the cash to buy a different one for each purpose – but if that doesn’t describe you, you’re probably better off spending your money on a different dildo.

The Curve is average-sized: 6″ long and 1 3/8″ in diameter. The tapered tip makes it easy and comfortable to insert. It’s an ideal size for a warm-up dildo and would also make a great pegging tool for someone who can handle its moderate girth.

It reminds me of a dragon or dinosaur dick. This is probably the closest thing I’ll ever own to a Bad Dragon dildo. While its appearance makes it usable for some kind of medieval-creature fantasy, once it’s inside my vagina, it just feels like a regular ol’ human-cock dildo.

The Curve’s base is sturdy, thick, and wide – ideal for harnesses or anal play. The base comes to a soft triangular peak in the front, for which I discovered a cool use: if I hold my Hitachi against the bottom and smush the triangle into my clit, I can get off from the conducted vibrations. This is technically doable with most dildos, yes, but the triangle peak seems to focus the vibrations onto my clit better than a classic round base.

The gentle ripples along the shaft aren’t really noticeable for me when they’re inside me. However, the coronal ridge under the head of the dildo is a little more major, and feels good on my G-spot. It isn’t amazing, though. This is not a wicked intense G-spot dildo by any means. Even Tantus’ own Acute does a better job of that.

So the Curve doesn’t knock my socks off. That’s okay. It’s still a solid, basic dildo that I think will meet a lot of people’s needs, even if it didn’t impress me much.

Thank you, Tantus, for sending me this toy!

Review: Tantus Snap Strap paddle

Kate Sloan

I don’t think I really believed Tantus when they first came out with their line of paddles and said that the collection “can give you an entire spectrum of colors during use, from rosy pink, all the way to black & blue.” I guess I just didn’t think there could be that much variety from one plain-looking silicone paddle to another. But now I’m converted. Now I understand.

I have two paddles from the collection now, the Snap Strap, which I’m reviewing today, and the Wham Bam, which I’ve had for a few months already. Both are excellent, but I have a strong preference for the Wham Bam and I’ll tell you why.

In kink-speak, there are basically two ends of the spectrum when it comes to the sensations of impact play: “stingy” (pronounced sting-ee, not stin-jee) and “thuddy.” In a way, I think of them as being akin to the distinction between “buzzy” and “rumbly” in vibrators. If a paddle, flogger, or crop is stingy, its impact is basically surface-level, whereas a thuddy implement packs a deeper punch. Think of it as the difference between someone slapping your ass and punching it, maybe.

My boyfriend and I spent a good while testing both the Snap Strap and the Wham Bam on one another, and we both concluded that we prefer the Wham Bam – because it’s thuddier. Its sensation is fuller and more impactful. It’s more painful, but in a good way.

Of course, others will prefer the Snap Strap for its distinctly stingy sensation. Everyone has preferences and those preferences inform what kind of paddle you should buy.

As for the wielding end of the experience, the Wham Bam is definitely easier to manoeuver. The business end is thicker and shorter, so it doesn’t flop around as much. Both my partner and I found the Snap Strap so long and floppy that it was tricky to aim with. It truly behaves more like a strap, a belt, or a whip than a paddle – so if you already like that type of toy and want a sturdier version, the Snap Strap might be a good option.

By the way, if you’re wondering why someone would want a silicone paddle over more traditional materials like leather, here’s why: silicone is sterilizable. Say you’re playing with one of your partners and you happen to get some of her bodily fluids onto the paddle, but you have a date with your other partner later that day for some spanking (you minx, you!). With Tantus toys, that’s no problem – just stick it in some boiling water for a few minutes and you’re good to go.

So which paddle should you buy? If you’re a spankee, ask yourself whether your favorite part of a spanking is the sharp feeling on your skin (Snap Strap!) or the deep, reverberating sensation of a strong smack (Wham Bam!). If you’re a spanker, ask yourself if you feel more comfortable wielding a traditional paddle (Wham Bam!) or something closer to a whip (Snap Strap!).

Or you could just get both and call it a day.

Many thanks to PinkCherry for providing me with this toy!