vibrator

Review: Lelo Siri 2

Kate Sloan

There’s a part in How to Be a Woman that’s about boyfriends but reminded me of the Lelo Siri 2. (That should give you an idea of how poorly my love life is going, eh?)

In the passage to which I’m referring, Caitlin writes that a woman who’s unhappy in her relationship will have a million different things to say about it: excuses, justifications, explanations. But a woman whose relationship is going well will be comparatively tight-lipped about it – not because she’s being secretive, but because there just isn’t much to say. “I’m really happy,” she’ll tell you if you ask. “It’s just… good.”

That’s how I feel about the Siri 2. I don’t have a whole lot to say about it, because it’s just… good. Really, really good. Solidly, dependably, surprisingly good.

I say “surprisingly” because Lelo’s product line has been massively hit-or-miss for the past few years. They keep putting out gimmicky bullshit like an oral sex simulator, rotating Kegel beads, and a cock ring for bankers (WHY?!) – and then once in a while they’ll throw in a toy that actually works really well, like the Mona 2. Every time Lelo launches a new toy, I tiptoe toward it hesitantly, like I’m approaching a landmine field: will this new thing make me scream in pain or will it actually get me off?

Well, I’m delighted to report that the Siri 2 has gotten me off. Many, many times. In fact, it snuck into my top 5 all-time favorite vibrators after I’d only owned it for a couple months. It’s that good. Let me tell you why.

The Siri 2 is, of course, an update on the original Siri. (Before you ask: the Lelo toy predates the Apple lady-robot.) I loved the Siri from the get-go. It had what was, at the time, Lelo’s strongest and rumbliest motor ever. Its shape is surprisingly versatile for a clit toy: you can get broad contact or a more pinpointed touch, depending on how you hold it against your body. The controls are easy to understand and operate, the toy locks for travel, and it’s quiet.

Basically, it was everything I want and need in a clit vibe, except that it wasn’t waterproof – a problem that has been rectified in the Siri 2, which you can use in the bath to your heart’s delight. (Which I have. A lot. Thanks, Lelo!)

Lelo achieved what a lot of toy companies seem to fuck up: they overhauled one of their existing toys and actually made it better, without adding (too many) extraneous or useless new features. The Siri 2 is quite a bit stronger than the old one, and it has several new vibration patterns. I don’t normally like vibration patterns – give me steady power or you might as well try to get me off by wiggling a feather on my clit, i.e. it’s not gonna happen – but these ones are actually quite lovely. They can bring me right to the edge and keep me there, which is really what patterns should do: tease and titillate. (And, admittedly, one time I had an orgasm while using the Siri 2 on its weirdest, randomest mode. I was shocked, but pleased.)

For reasons that are confusing to everyone, Lelo also added a sound-responsive setting to this iteration of the Siri, in which the toy is supposed to respond vibrationally to any music you might be listening to or noise you might be making. Call me a shoddy reviewer, but I haven’t even bothered with this mode. Plenty of other reviewers hated it and/or said it didn’t work at all, which fits with Lelo’s M.O. of releasing gimmicky shit that doesn’t appear to have been tested thoroughly enough (*cough* the barely-functional remote control on the original Tiani *cough*). I wasn’t about to let my love for the Siri 2 be ruined by a pointless and poorly designed “music mode” that’s pretty clearly an OhMiBod ripoff anyway, so I didn’t try it. Sorry-not-sorry.

But as a regular ol’ clit vibe, the Siri 2 exceeded my expectations and is pretty close to perfect. It’s hella rumbly and has a wide variety of power settings, from “gentle buzz” all the way up to “HOLY FUCK YES.” The shape of it works splendidly for my clit. The whole unit is comfortable to hold, even for long periods of time. I love being able to take it in the bath. I love the vibration patterns. I love the smooth silicone, grippy plastic, and color options. I love that the controls are so intuitive I can operate them even when I’m drunk or dead-tired or in a hurry.

The buttons are a little hard to push. That’s really my only complaint. And it’s hardly a big deal. I think this problem has actually improved substantially with use, since, you know, mashing on buttons in the throes of ecstasy multiple times a week will tend to loosen ‘em up pretty quick.

So, yes – the Lelo Siri 2 goes wholeheartedly on my list of Vibrators I Definitely Recommend. Put it on your clit and the clits of people you love. It’ll do ya right.

Thank you, Lelo!

My Top 5 Favorite Vibrators of All Time

Kate Sloan

The title of this post is pretty self-explanatory, so let’s hop right to it, shall we?

1. The Eroscillator (review) is my favorite sex toy in the universe. End of story. I’ve easily used it hundreds of times since I got it 3-ish years ago, and it’s still going strong. The oscillations feel noticeably different from regular vibrations; they seem to go deeper into my internal clitoris and don’t cause me numbness like vibrations can. The Eroscillator is also long and thin so it fits nicely between two bodies for use during PIV sex; the Eroscillator + penis combo is one of my favorite ways to get off ever ever ever. I particularly recommend picking up the fingertip attachment because I find the harder attachments too intense sometimes.

2. The We-Vibe Tango (review) is my favorite rechargeable vibe, bar none. It’s soooo strong and rumbly, and the focused shape is perfect for my clit. I don’t love that you have to cycle through the modes one-by-one, but I’ve gotten used to it now so it doesn’t feel like a big deal to me anymore. It’s also waterproof and water doesn’t really dampen its magnificent rumbling. The only thing I don’t love about my Tango is the way it charges, but that’s been updated since I got mine, and I hear the newer ones are a lot better in that regard.

3. The Hitachi Magic Wand gives me very mixed feelings, but now that I know how to use it in a way that works for me, I at least don’t hate it anymore. It can get me off on those days when my bits seem irreparably numb or finicky, and it also works through multiple layers, so if I’m too lazy to take off my pants, that’s not a problem for the Hitachi. It’s a classic for a reason, and that reason is that it’s strong as fuck.

4. The Lelo Mona 2 is just exactly what a penetrative vibe should be. The handle is long enough to provide adequate leverage. The controls are easy to use, even in the heat of the moment. The vibrations are strong and rumbly enough to stimulate my vaginal walls without numbing them. The curve accesses my G-spot with minimal effort and feels good whether I thrust the toy or keep it still. It’s waterproof for bathtime shenanigans. And the toy can be repurposed for clitoral use, no problem. Lelo recently tried to update the Mona but you can’t improve upon perfection, man.

5. I only just received the Lelo Siri 2 and my review is forthcoming, but suffice it to say: this new offering from Lelo is simple and effective. Or perhaps effective because it’s simple. (Seriously, Lelo, stop trying to make everything so fancy all the time. Just keep making easy-to-use sex toys with excellent motors like this one and you’ll stay on top.)

What are your favorite vibrators of all time?

Review: Womanizer

Kate Sloan

Do you like suction on your clit? Do you like leopard print and rhinestones? Do you like creepy gendered objectification?

Technically you only need to answer “yes” to the first question to make the Womanizer a decent purchase for you, but it helps if you can answer yes to all three.

My pals at Sex Toys Canada sent me the Womanizer, a new vibrator out of Germany that boasts an 100% orgasm guarantee and uses a suction mechanism.

I’m told that this toy would retail for about $190 here in Canada. I’m a firm believer that a sex toy can only justify being that expensive if it’s either really effective or incredibly unique or both. For example, I don’t mind that the Eroscillator costs $140 or that the Stronic Eins costs $200, because I think both toys are fantastic and truly different from every other toy on the market. The Womanizer is certainly unique, but I don’t know if I would pay $190 for it, and I doubt it’d work for everyone.

First off, the name. It’s horrible. Companies, please stop giving names like this to your toys. I realize that there’s a language barrier but I’m not sure how a name like this would be any more palatable in German. Not all folks with clits are women, and a sex toy is a tool, not a seducer.

Secondly – did I mention that the toy is LEOPARD-PRINT and RHINESTONED? I mean, the go-to-the-next-setting button is literally a huge rhinestone. This is legitimately one of the ugliest, most juvenile-looking toys I’ve ever seen. It looks like it was designed by an out-of-touch man for his distorted concept of the typical Cosmo-reading, lipstick-wearing woman. It definitely does not look or feel anywhere near classy enough to justify charging $190. I think if your sex toy costs over $100, it should look and feel like a sophisticated luxury item, not a gross as-seen-on-TV bedazzled 1990s relic.

The part of the toy that goes on your clit is a little concave dip, and the toy comes with two identical white squishy heads for this part, I guess so that you can switch them out if one has just been washed and needs to dry or whatever.

The toy comes with a storage case that is actually really nice (another thing I consider imperative for an expensive sex toy). It’s pink, holds its shape well like a sturdy camera bag, and has a couple of mesh compartments inside for the charger and extra suction head to go in. This case would make it super easy to travel with your Womanizer if you’re into that.

So, let’s talk about how this thing actually feels, because I’m sure you’re wondering.

The suction is fairly mild. This is not like one of those scary clit pumps. You have to hold your labia apart slightly so that the toy can get a fix on your clit. Once it does, it’ll keep on sucking on that exact spot until you move the toy, but removal is never painful or uncomfortable.

There’s a little bit of vibration involved, which amplifies the suction sensation and kind of feels like someone is tonguing my clit rhythmically while they suck on it. So, damn, yeah, that’s nice.

There are five vibration settings (I don’t think the suction gets much stronger on the higher settings, but it’s hard to tell). None of them are earthshattering. If you need a lot of powerful rumbling to get off, this toy absolutely will not do the trick.

The feeling of the Womanizer kind of reminds me of my beloved Eroscillator in the sense that the sensation can be a slow build. I can keep the toy on the first or second setting and inch my way toward an orgasm without needing to keep cranking up the power.

The suction pulls blood into my clit, which sounds gross but is actually exactly the process required to make an orgasm happen. The longer the Womanizer sucks on my clit, the more engorged and sensitive it gets, which is why I don’t need to keep turning up the power. In fact, every orgasm I’ve had from the Womanizer has been on the second setting out of five, which is pretty impressive.

That said, there are some things I don’t love about this toy. For one, it works best when it’s sucking on my clit directly – i.e. not through the clitoral hood – and that’s a sensation that can feel scarily intense or even painful for me. I often get overstimulated while using the Womanizer, and have to back off. (Thankfully, the power button also doubles as a “go back to the first setting” button, which comes in handy frequently.) I can position the suction head on my clit hood or another spot that’s more comfortable for me, but when I do that, the suction becomes so indirect and mild that it doesn’t seem to be doing its job properly and usually can’t get me off.

I also sometimes get impatient with the Womanizer. It’s an acquired taste. It doesn’t jackhammer your clit or rub all over it; the sensation is more delicate, more gradual, a slow-burn kind of thing. I have to focus, relax, and take my time if I’m going to reach orgasm with this toy. When I do, it’s spectacular – but I don’t always have that kind of time and patience. I frequently find myself giving up on the Womanizer and reaching for another vibe instead because I’m craving a little more friction and movement.

The Womanizer also isn’t waterproof. This repeatedly bummed me out. Clit suction in the bath sounds heavenly, but ah, ‘tis not to be.

On the plus side: the toy is ergonomic and comfortable to hold, I love that the suction head can be removed for easy cleaning, the controls are easy to use, the toy holds a charge for a long-ass time, and it’s only kinda loud for the first few seconds and becomes much quieter as soon as it’s got ahold of a clit.

So… I have very mixed feelings about the Womanizer. If suction and vibration together sound like your idea of bliss, and you can ignore the toy’s other shortcomings, then you might like it. But for $190 I think it ought to at least be waterproof, better-looking, and have stronger vibrations. And it should be called something that doesn’t make my skin crawl.

Thanks, Sex Toys Canada!

Review: Revel Body SOL

Kate Sloan

You might already know this, but there’s a tight-knit community of sex bloggers like me, and when drama happens in that community, it spreads fast and hard.

That kind of drama exploded around the Revel Body last year, when notoriously snarky sex toy reviewer Epiphora ripped it apart in her review and the company’s CEO threatened a lawsuit and left rude comments on the blog post. (Note to sex toy companies: when you send your stuff to reviewers, it will get reviewed – don’t act surprised when it does.)

All that said… The company seems to be better-behaved these days, and though I never got to try the original Revel Body, I enjoy the updated version. Well, sort of. Let me explain.

The Revel Body SOL, like its predecessor, uses “TrueSonic™” technology to produce its vibrations. This is a technology that’s based on magnets and causes the toy’s removable centre attachment to pulse back and forth as the magnets jostle it around. (Obviously this is an oversimplification. Hey, I’m no scientist.)

The vibrations feel really good to me – very rumbly, and reminiscent of jackhammer vibes like the Wahl and the We-Vibe Tango. My clit gets a good pounding with the Revel Body and that’s a sensation I typically dig.

There are a few problems with the technology, though. First off, you can’t apply pressure because it weakens the vibrations significantly. Secondly, it’s only the first three vibration speeds that actually feel rumbly; the ones above that are all progressively more and more buzzy, so I never use them. On the one hand, it’s good that the lower modes are so good that I never need to venture past them; on the other hand, if you’re going to charge $139 for a vibrator, then every single one of its settings should be excellent, not just some of them.

The Revel Body is also pretty loud. The attachments are called “QuietCore™” so you would think the toy would be, y’know, quiet. It’s not. Not at all. Do not get this toy if you need discretion; it will embarrass you.

While the lowest 2-3 settings of the Revel Body can get me off consistently with their delicious rumbliness, I find that it takes me a long-ass time to reach orgasm with it. (I should note that for me, “a long-ass time” equals “more than five minutes,” but still.) I think it’s because the jumps between the speeds are too big. I always end up getting to a point where one setting feels too weak but the next one feels too strong, so I keep getting overstimulated and have to back off, resulting in orgasms that seem to take eons. They’re worth it when I get there, but the journey itself can be annoying.

The silicone attachment can be swapped out for others. The Revel Body comes with three basic attachments: one is flat and slightly rounded, one is pointy/spindly like a little porcupine, and one looks like a concave target. The porcupine one is mildly irritating to my clit and the target just doesn’t feel direct enough, so I stick with the original, basic attachment 90% of the time. I think I would like the Niko attachment best, since it sticks out and could make better contact with my clit, but I don’t have it, so alas, I’ll never know.

The sphere-shaped vibe feels good to hold in my hand – ergonomic, comfortable – but sometimes the stimulation feels too broad on my clit, which is why I wish I had an attachment that protrudes more.

Overall, the Revel Body SOL is fairly unique and often pleasurable, but I’m not sure it’s worth $139 when you can get the Wahl for $22 or the We-Vibe Tango for $85. Both are just as strong as, or stronger than, the Revel Body, both have shapes and settings that get along with my clit better, and both are substantially quieter.

Thanks, Revel Body!

Review: Bondara Silicone Rechargeable Rabbit

Kate Sloan

My expectations for rabbit vibes are low, because the vast majority of them are laughably terrible. Most don’t get me off, don’t feel particularly good, and certainly don’t wow me.

The Bondara silicone rechargeable rabbit works fine, gets me off, feels pretty good, but doesn’t wow me.

Let’s start with the good stuff: it’s made of nice, body-safe materials. It charges via USB and holds its charge well. The controls are easy enough to understand (one button for on and off, one to flip through the settings).

This rabbit succeeds in an area where some rabbits fail spectacularly, which is shape and comfort. The shaft’s girth is just right at 1.5”. The G-spot curve doesn’t poke my vaginal wall or cause pain on insertion or removal. And the rabbit ears, miraculously, always sit in the right spot and stay put, never injuring my clit or wandering off course. This all sounds pretty basic but you would be surprised how many rabbits are completely unusable due to problems with comfort and shape.

The vibrations on the Bondara rabbit are strong and deep enough to get me off, which, again, should be basic but is seldom found among rabbit vibrators, which I find are usually buzzy and weak, even the higher-end ones. I think having two separate motors is too taxing so a lot of toy designers give their rabbits two mediocre motors instead of the one really good motor they might put into a regular vibrator. The Bondara one isn’t jackhammer-strong and won’t satisfy power queens, but it can make me come so I’m satisfied with the vibe strength.

The problem is that you can’t really control the vibration speed, nor can you control the clitoral and vaginal portions of the toy separately (which, IMO, should be a standard feature on rabbits). The various modes offered by the toy have good interplay between vaginal and clitoral stimulation, but they switch back and forth too slowly so they never build any momentum toward orgasm for me. For that reason, I stick to the steady-vibration mode, but there are only two, low and high. I can get off that way but I prefer more gradation in between speeds, so I can avoid numbness and overstimulation. And I would greatly prefer to be able to control both portions of the vibe separately, because my G-spot’s power preferences are pretty different from my clit’s.

Speaking of the G-spot – this rabbit’s internal curve isn’t anything to write home about. It touches my G-spot but doesn’t really dig into it the way I prefer. The internal stimulation is general and broad, not focused and precise.

So… This rabbit is actually a pretty good buy if you consider the fact that it’s only 24 pounds (about 40 American dollars). But I still maintain that if you want dual stimulation, most rabbits aren’t worth the trouble and you’d be better off buying a good dildo and a decent clit vibe, both of which you can get for about the same amount as this rabbit if you shop wisely.

Thanks for the toy, Bondara!