vibrator

My Top 5 Favorite Vibrators of All Time

Kate Sloan

The title of this post is pretty self-explanatory, so let’s hop right to it, shall we?

1. The Eroscillator (review) is my favorite sex toy in the universe. End of story. I’ve easily used it hundreds of times since I got it 3-ish years ago, and it’s still going strong. The oscillations feel noticeably different from regular vibrations; they seem to go deeper into my internal clitoris and don’t cause me numbness like vibrations can. The Eroscillator is also long and thin so it fits nicely between two bodies for use during PIV sex; the Eroscillator + penis combo is one of my favorite ways to get off ever ever ever. I particularly recommend picking up the fingertip attachment because I find the harder attachments too intense sometimes.

2. The We-Vibe Tango (review) is my favorite rechargeable vibe, bar none. It’s soooo strong and rumbly, and the focused shape is perfect for my clit. I don’t love that you have to cycle through the modes one-by-one, but I’ve gotten used to it now so it doesn’t feel like a big deal to me anymore. It’s also waterproof and water doesn’t really dampen its magnificent rumbling. The only thing I don’t love about my Tango is the way it charges, but that’s been updated since I got mine, and I hear the newer ones are a lot better in that regard.

3. The Hitachi Magic Wand gives me very mixed feelings, but now that I know how to use it in a way that works for me, I at least don’t hate it anymore. It can get me off on those days when my bits seem irreparably numb or finicky, and it also works through multiple layers, so if I’m too lazy to take off my pants, that’s not a problem for the Hitachi. It’s a classic for a reason, and that reason is that it’s strong as fuck.

4. The Lelo Mona 2 is just exactly what a penetrative vibe should be. The handle is long enough to provide adequate leverage. The controls are easy to use, even in the heat of the moment. The vibrations are strong and rumbly enough to stimulate my vaginal walls without numbing them. The curve accesses my G-spot with minimal effort and feels good whether I thrust the toy or keep it still. It’s waterproof for bathtime shenanigans. And the toy can be repurposed for clitoral use, no problem. Lelo recently tried to update the Mona but you can’t improve upon perfection, man.

5. I only just received the Lelo Siri 2 and my review is forthcoming, but suffice it to say: this new offering from Lelo is simple and effective. Or perhaps effective because it’s simple. (Seriously, Lelo, stop trying to make everything so fancy all the time. Just keep making easy-to-use sex toys with excellent motors like this one and you’ll stay on top.)

What are your favorite vibrators of all time?

Review: Womanizer

Kate Sloan

Do you like suction on your clit? Do you like leopard print and rhinestones? Do you like creepy gendered objectification?

Technically you only need to answer “yes” to the first question to make the Womanizer a decent purchase for you, but it helps if you can answer yes to all three.

My pals at Sex Toys Canada sent me the Womanizer, a new vibrator out of Germany that boasts an 100% orgasm guarantee and uses a suction mechanism.

I’m told that this toy would retail for about $190 here in Canada. I’m a firm believer that a sex toy can only justify being that expensive if it’s either really effective or incredibly unique or both. For example, I don’t mind that the Eroscillator costs $140 or that the Stronic Eins costs $200, because I think both toys are fantastic and truly different from every other toy on the market. The Womanizer is certainly unique, but I don’t know if I would pay $190 for it, and I doubt it’d work for everyone.

First off, the name. It’s horrible. Companies, please stop giving names like this to your toys. I realize that there’s a language barrier but I’m not sure how a name like this would be any more palatable in German. Not all folks with clits are women, and a sex toy is a tool, not a seducer.

Secondly – did I mention that the toy is LEOPARD-PRINT and RHINESTONED? I mean, the go-to-the-next-setting button is literally a huge rhinestone. This is legitimately one of the ugliest, most juvenile-looking toys I’ve ever seen. It looks like it was designed by an out-of-touch man for his distorted concept of the typical Cosmo-reading, lipstick-wearing woman. It definitely does not look or feel anywhere near classy enough to justify charging $190. I think if your sex toy costs over $100, it should look and feel like a sophisticated luxury item, not a gross as-seen-on-TV bedazzled 1990s relic.

The part of the toy that goes on your clit is a little concave dip, and the toy comes with two identical white squishy heads for this part, I guess so that you can switch them out if one has just been washed and needs to dry or whatever.

The toy comes with a storage case that is actually really nice (another thing I consider imperative for an expensive sex toy). It’s pink, holds its shape well like a sturdy camera bag, and has a couple of mesh compartments inside for the charger and extra suction head to go in. This case would make it super easy to travel with your Womanizer if you’re into that.

So, let’s talk about how this thing actually feels, because I’m sure you’re wondering.

The suction is fairly mild. This is not like one of those scary clit pumps. You have to hold your labia apart slightly so that the toy can get a fix on your clit. Once it does, it’ll keep on sucking on that exact spot until you move the toy, but removal is never painful or uncomfortable.

There’s a little bit of vibration involved, which amplifies the suction sensation and kind of feels like someone is tonguing my clit rhythmically while they suck on it. So, damn, yeah, that’s nice.

There are five vibration settings (I don’t think the suction gets much stronger on the higher settings, but it’s hard to tell). None of them are earthshattering. If you need a lot of powerful rumbling to get off, this toy absolutely will not do the trick.

The feeling of the Womanizer kind of reminds me of my beloved Eroscillator in the sense that the sensation can be a slow build. I can keep the toy on the first or second setting and inch my way toward an orgasm without needing to keep cranking up the power.

The suction pulls blood into my clit, which sounds gross but is actually exactly the process required to make an orgasm happen. The longer the Womanizer sucks on my clit, the more engorged and sensitive it gets, which is why I don’t need to keep turning up the power. In fact, every orgasm I’ve had from the Womanizer has been on the second setting out of five, which is pretty impressive.

That said, there are some things I don’t love about this toy. For one, it works best when it’s sucking on my clit directly – i.e. not through the clitoral hood – and that’s a sensation that can feel scarily intense or even painful for me. I often get overstimulated while using the Womanizer, and have to back off. (Thankfully, the power button also doubles as a “go back to the first setting” button, which comes in handy frequently.) I can position the suction head on my clit hood or another spot that’s more comfortable for me, but when I do that, the suction becomes so indirect and mild that it doesn’t seem to be doing its job properly and usually can’t get me off.

I also sometimes get impatient with the Womanizer. It’s an acquired taste. It doesn’t jackhammer your clit or rub all over it; the sensation is more delicate, more gradual, a slow-burn kind of thing. I have to focus, relax, and take my time if I’m going to reach orgasm with this toy. When I do, it’s spectacular – but I don’t always have that kind of time and patience. I frequently find myself giving up on the Womanizer and reaching for another vibe instead because I’m craving a little more friction and movement.

The Womanizer also isn’t waterproof. This repeatedly bummed me out. Clit suction in the bath sounds heavenly, but ah, ‘tis not to be.

On the plus side: the toy is ergonomic and comfortable to hold, I love that the suction head can be removed for easy cleaning, the controls are easy to use, the toy holds a charge for a long-ass time, and it’s only kinda loud for the first few seconds and becomes much quieter as soon as it’s got ahold of a clit.

So… I have very mixed feelings about the Womanizer. If suction and vibration together sound like your idea of bliss, and you can ignore the toy’s other shortcomings, then you might like it. But for $190 I think it ought to at least be waterproof, better-looking, and have stronger vibrations. And it should be called something that doesn’t make my skin crawl.

Thanks, Sex Toys Canada!

Review: Revel Body SOL

Kate Sloan

You might already know this, but there’s a tight-knit community of sex bloggers like me, and when drama happens in that community, it spreads fast and hard.

That kind of drama exploded around the Revel Body last year, when notoriously snarky sex toy reviewer Epiphora ripped it apart in her review and the company’s CEO threatened a lawsuit and left rude comments on the blog post. (Note to sex toy companies: when you send your stuff to reviewers, it will get reviewed – don’t act surprised when it does.)

All that said… The company seems to be better-behaved these days, and though I never got to try the original Revel Body, I enjoy the updated version. Well, sort of. Let me explain.

The Revel Body SOL, like its predecessor, uses “TrueSonic™” technology to produce its vibrations. This is a technology that’s based on magnets and causes the toy’s removable centre attachment to pulse back and forth as the magnets jostle it around. (Obviously this is an oversimplification. Hey, I’m no scientist.)

The vibrations feel really good to me – very rumbly, and reminiscent of jackhammer vibes like the Wahl and the We-Vibe Tango. My clit gets a good pounding with the Revel Body and that’s a sensation I typically dig.

There are a few problems with the technology, though. First off, you can’t apply pressure because it weakens the vibrations significantly. Secondly, it’s only the first three vibration speeds that actually feel rumbly; the ones above that are all progressively more and more buzzy, so I never use them. On the one hand, it’s good that the lower modes are so good that I never need to venture past them; on the other hand, if you’re going to charge $139 for a vibrator, then every single one of its settings should be excellent, not just some of them.

The Revel Body is also pretty loud. The attachments are called “QuietCore™” so you would think the toy would be, y’know, quiet. It’s not. Not at all. Do not get this toy if you need discretion; it will embarrass you.

While the lowest 2-3 settings of the Revel Body can get me off consistently with their delicious rumbliness, I find that it takes me a long-ass time to reach orgasm with it. (I should note that for me, “a long-ass time” equals “more than five minutes,” but still.) I think it’s because the jumps between the speeds are too big. I always end up getting to a point where one setting feels too weak but the next one feels too strong, so I keep getting overstimulated and have to back off, resulting in orgasms that seem to take eons. They’re worth it when I get there, but the journey itself can be annoying.

The silicone attachment can be swapped out for others. The Revel Body comes with three basic attachments: one is flat and slightly rounded, one is pointy/spindly like a little porcupine, and one looks like a concave target. The porcupine one is mildly irritating to my clit and the target just doesn’t feel direct enough, so I stick with the original, basic attachment 90% of the time. I think I would like the Niko attachment best, since it sticks out and could make better contact with my clit, but I don’t have it, so alas, I’ll never know.

The sphere-shaped vibe feels good to hold in my hand – ergonomic, comfortable – but sometimes the stimulation feels too broad on my clit, which is why I wish I had an attachment that protrudes more.

Overall, the Revel Body SOL is fairly unique and often pleasurable, but I’m not sure it’s worth $139 when you can get the Wahl for $22 or the We-Vibe Tango for $85. Both are just as strong as, or stronger than, the Revel Body, both have shapes and settings that get along with my clit better, and both are substantially quieter.

Thanks, Revel Body!

Review: Bondara Silicone Rechargeable Rabbit

Kate Sloan

My expectations for rabbit vibes are low, because the vast majority of them are laughably terrible. Most don’t get me off, don’t feel particularly good, and certainly don’t wow me.

The Bondara silicone rechargeable rabbit works fine, gets me off, feels pretty good, but doesn’t wow me.

Let’s start with the good stuff: it’s made of nice, body-safe materials. It charges via USB and holds its charge well. The controls are easy enough to understand (one button for on and off, one to flip through the settings).

This rabbit succeeds in an area where some rabbits fail spectacularly, which is shape and comfort. The shaft’s girth is just right at 1.5”. The G-spot curve doesn’t poke my vaginal wall or cause pain on insertion or removal. And the rabbit ears, miraculously, always sit in the right spot and stay put, never injuring my clit or wandering off course. This all sounds pretty basic but you would be surprised how many rabbits are completely unusable due to problems with comfort and shape.

The vibrations on the Bondara rabbit are strong and deep enough to get me off, which, again, should be basic but is seldom found among rabbit vibrators, which I find are usually buzzy and weak, even the higher-end ones. I think having two separate motors is too taxing so a lot of toy designers give their rabbits two mediocre motors instead of the one really good motor they might put into a regular vibrator. The Bondara one isn’t jackhammer-strong and won’t satisfy power queens, but it can make me come so I’m satisfied with the vibe strength.

The problem is that you can’t really control the vibration speed, nor can you control the clitoral and vaginal portions of the toy separately (which, IMO, should be a standard feature on rabbits). The various modes offered by the toy have good interplay between vaginal and clitoral stimulation, but they switch back and forth too slowly so they never build any momentum toward orgasm for me. For that reason, I stick to the steady-vibration mode, but there are only two, low and high. I can get off that way but I prefer more gradation in between speeds, so I can avoid numbness and overstimulation. And I would greatly prefer to be able to control both portions of the vibe separately, because my G-spot’s power preferences are pretty different from my clit’s.

Speaking of the G-spot – this rabbit’s internal curve isn’t anything to write home about. It touches my G-spot but doesn’t really dig into it the way I prefer. The internal stimulation is general and broad, not focused and precise.

So… This rabbit is actually a pretty good buy if you consider the fact that it’s only 24 pounds (about 40 American dollars). But I still maintain that if you want dual stimulation, most rabbits aren’t worth the trouble and you’d be better off buying a good dildo and a decent clit vibe, both of which you can get for about the same amount as this rabbit if you shop wisely.

Thanks for the toy, Bondara!

Vibrators For People Who Hate Vibrators

Kate Sloan

This post was inspired by a beautiful, sex-positive friend of mine, who… hates vibrators. She attended one of Betty Dodson’s Bodysex workshops, and of course, since I’m a huge sex toy geek, I asked her what she thought of the vibe Betty provides for workshop attendees (it’s the Mystic Wand, if you were wondering). My friend just shrugged and said, “I don’t like using a vibrator. It feels like having sex with a robot.”

I was slightly flabbergasted, but I shouldn’t have been. There are plenty of people who don’t like vibrators.

However, I think that at least some of those people’s aversion to vibes might be due to a fixable factor. So, with help from some folks on Twitter, I came up with this list of common reasons why someone might not enjoy using a vibrator, and I’ve provided possible solutions for each issue.

Important note: There are people for whom vibrators just don’t work, period. I’m not claiming that everyone can or should love vibrators. If other methods work for you, keep at ‘em and don’t let me rain on your parade! This post is for people who have been dissatisfied with vibrators in the past but are interested in giving them another shot.

Problem #1: Vibrators feel too weak, cause numbness, or make you itchy.

Solution: If you’ve felt this way about a vibrator, it was probably too buzzy, or didn’t have enough power, or both. I can see how this could be a huge deterrent, because it even deterred me! My first few vibrators were cheap and/or battery-powered, which are the types of vibes that tend to be buzziest and weakest, so I just thought vibrations felt only okay and caused fast numbness. Well, they don’t have to!

The opposite of buzzy is rumbly (at least, in vibrator-speak). Rumbly vibrations don’t typically cause the numbness that buzzy vibes can, nor will they make you itch. They also feel stronger because they penetrate deeper into the skin. If you have a clitoris, rumbly vibrations will stimulate the internal portion as well as the part on the surface, and many people find that sensation more pleasurable, myself included.

My all-time favorite rumbly vibrator is the We-Vibe Tango (here’s my review). It’s small, because it’s meant for clitoral stimulation, but what it lacks in size, it makes up for in ridiculously thuddy and yummy vibrations. If you want something you can use for penetration or clit stimulation, try the Lelo Mona 2; it’s not quite as rumbly as the Tango but it’s pretty close, plus it has a gorgeous and effective G-spot curve. If you want to try rumbly (and SUPER STRONG) vibrations on the cheap, seek out a Wahl 2-Speed at your local pharmacy – but keep in mind that it’s the jackhammer of vibrators, so you should probably use some kind of fabric barrier between your body and the toy, at least at first!

Problem #2: Vibrators feel too intense/strong/overwhelming.

Solution: I think the Hitachi Magic Wand is largely to blame for the commonness of this problem. So many people think it’s “the ultimate vibrator” because plenty of experienced vibrator users say that it is – but I am going to take a bold stance and declare that the Hitachi is not a good vibrator for beginners. Husbands, stop buying Hitachis for your vibrator-virgin wives! Please, for the love of all things holy and sexy!!

If you already have a vibrator that feels too strong for you and you don’t want to buy a different one, here are some suggestions. Try putting a fabric barrier between the vibrator and your body, like a folded washcloth or your underwear; this will dampen the sensations. Try starting off with the vibrator on your inner thighs or labia instead of putting it directly on your clit. If it’s a Hitachi, outfit it with an attachment like the G-Spotter, which will muffle and focus the sensations all at once.

If you think your current vibrator is hopelessly over-intense and you want to get another one, here are some you could try. Anything by Lelo will have multiple speeds (usually 10), starting very low and ending reasonably high, so you can control the power of the vibrations with much more precision; I recommend the Mona 2, Mia 2, or Siri. Lelo’s not in everyone’s price range, I know, so if you’re shopping for something cheaper, just make sure that it’s body-safe (probably made of silicone or hard plastic) and has multiple speeds. Something like the Bswish Bcute Classic or Turbo Glider would be great.

Problem #3: Vibrators are too loud, and it distracts you and/or arouses suspicion among your housemates/family.

Solution: You need a quieter vibrator, bro.

The aforementioned We-Vibe Tango and Lelo toys are very quiet. In general, you’re going to want to avoid anything battery-powered or electric; rechargeables are where it’s at.

Alternatively, you could muffle your loud vibrator with a blanket, or put some music on. But you’ve probably already thought of that.

Problem #4: Vibrators are awkward to use or hard to control.

Solution: Okay, first of all, let’s get this out of the way: sex toys are inherently foreign objects, so they will never feel quite as natural and intuitive as your own hands. You can get smoother at using them with practice, but they’re not really an extension of your body so they’re always going to feel more like tools than appendages. If you’re not cool with that, no worries; you don’t have to use sex toys. No one will force you.

But if you want to use a vibrator that’s as uncumbersome and unobtrusive as possible, you’re going to need something that is both ergonomic and super easy to control. I recommend one with easy up-and-down buttons, like the Lelo Siri 2, or a simple twist dial, like the Shane’s World Sparkle Vibe.

If your issue is that vibrators are hard to hold onto or slip out of your hand at crucial moments, try something with a looped handle, like the Lelo Alia, or a grippy plastic handle, like the Bodywand.

Problem #5: Your partner is threatened by sex toys, or you think they would be.

Solution: My first instinct in this situation is to tell you to “dump the motherfucker already,” but I realize that your partner’s insecurities may not bother you as much as they would bother me, and also that your partner’s insecurities may well be changeable and fixable. You deserve better than someone who wants to limit your pleasure, but I’m not gonna tell you how to live your life.

Insecure partners, especially those who are men, may have issues with realistic (i.e. penis-esque) toys that they would not have with less representational toys. If that’s the case, then of course I suggest getting a toy that looks nothing like a penis. Most Lelo toys look like tech implements from Planet Sophistication. Jimmyjane toys are also very design-y and often look more like coffee table decorations than sex toys, so maybe they’ll be less distressing to your partner than a 9-inch rubber dick.

That said, size can also be an issue for some partners, especially if they have concerns about their own penis size. In that case, I’d recommend something small and unintimidating, like the We-Vibe Tango or a hella basic Pocket Rocket.

If your partner worries that a sex toy will “replace” him or her, you may be able to quell that fear by using the sex toy with them, having them use it on you, or getting a toy like the We-Vibe that is specifically made to be used by couples.

Problem #6: Vibrators feel too impersonal/inhuman, or don’t feel like “the real thing.”

Solution: The obvious solution is to incorporate vibrators as part of “the real thing.” Trust me when I say that the combination of a vibrator and a human partner can be explosively terrific. I hate the narrative of vibrators being some sort of replacement for a partner, because I think they work best when paired together!

If you don’t have a partner at the moment, but still want a “real”-feeling experience, you could try a realistic dildo like the VixSkin Mustang. (I know, it’s not a vibrator, and this is an article about vibrators. But people don’t vibrate, so the most “realistic” toys will be ones that don’t vibrate either!) I am also a fan of the Stronic Eins, which thrusts back and forth – like a real penis, only faster and more consistent.

There are a few cunnilingus simulators on the market. I haven’t found one that I’m really happy with yet, but you might like them. The main ones are the Sqweel 2, Sqweel Go, Je Joue SaSi, and Lelo Ora. Some people (myself included) also say that the back-and-forth oscillation mode on the Jimmyjane Form 2 feels like a flicking tongue. If you choose to buy a toy that’s meant to mimic oral sex, definitely pick up some lube, too – oral lovin’ is nothing without lubrication!

Do you know anyone who hates vibrators? Why do they feel that way? Have you ever overcome your vibrator hatred? How did you do it?