Sharing the Sexy #14

• This lady hacked a Lelo vibrator to create something much more interesting.

• Buck Angel said something really victim-blame-y about trans women and the disclosure myth.

• Ladies and gentlemen, the great Khadeja Wilkinson: “Feminism does not hate men. Period.”

• “Friendzoning” is bullshit and here’s why.

• Lilly explains why carrots don’t make good dildos. Don’t do it, y’all!

• Evil Slutopia tears up Cosmo for suggesting that male bisexuality is wrong. Ugh, Cosmo, when will you ever get your shit together?

• Here’s a little round-up of links about the fine line between romance and abuse in Fifty Shades of Grey.

• Wait, what? A straight male feminist comedian? So refreshing, honestly. ♥

• Jenna Marbles made a slut-shamey video that was so gross, I won’t even link to it – and then Laci Green responded, and so did my homegirl Caitlin.

Review: Fun Factory G4 Patchy Paul

Vibrators don’t really excite me that much anymore. I’ve tried so many, and sometimes it feels like they’re all the same. Y’know?

But the Patchy Paul definitely excited me. After it spent months languishing in my wishlist, I finally decided to snap it up… and it delivered.

Fun Factory, particularly their line of G4 vibrators, is known for reeeeally intense and rumbly vibrations. This is not your mama’s vibrator (well, maybe it should be, because she would probably like it too!). This is a badass creation filled with pleasure potential.

Sometimes people ask me, “What can I get that has the power of a Hitachi without the dependence on an electrical outlet?” That’s a very tall order, and I’m not convinced that anything really fits the bill, but probably the closest is either a large Smart Wand or a G4 vibe. If your favorite masturbation accoutrements are slightly reminiscent of a jackhammer, you’ll love the motor in any G4 toy.

But why specifically the Patchy Paul? I chose it because I like texture, but not an insane amount of texture, and I also appreciate some G-spot lovin’. The Paul looks like a caterpillar, with a body that strokes your vaginal walls and a head that nuzzles your G-spot. It even has a little face – perfect for all you caterpillar fetishists out there. (Kidding. Those people aren’t reading this; they’re off looking at a nature blog somewhere. Duh.)

The Patchy Paul is rechargeable, 100% waterproof, and made of body-safe plastic and silicone. The only thing I don’t dig about it is that the vibrations are focused toward the middle of the shaft, not the tip of the toy where they ought to be… but they’re so strong that it doesn’t really affect my experience. I can use this toy vaginally or clitorally and either way, it rocks my ladyparts’ world.

The Patchy Paul has now officially become my favorite G-spot vibrator, right up there with the Lelo Mona. If you can get past its creepy caterpillar face, the two of you might end up being very happy together.

Sharing the Sexy #13

• Porn star James Deen answered reader questions on Reddit. Read dat shit.

• There’s a Justin Bieber sex doll now. Ugh!!

• Jimmyjane vibrator designer Ethan Imboden has a prudish and proud mother. Aww, I love a good story about family and sex toys.

• Sarah wrote about how to use Craigslist to get laid.

• HOOK released a handbook for male-bodied sex workers. I don’t know about you, but I find stuff like this so fascinating to read, even if it doesn’t apply to me.

• What are the 30 must-see feminist porn sites?

• Check out this zine on the importance of verbal consent to brush up on your sex-positive etiquette.

On Friends, Lovers, and Sex Toys

My friends all know that I review sex toys, and they’re all pretty stoked for me. Some will even ask me, as a routine part of every visit we have together, “So what are you reviewing right now?” and then I will take them up to my bedroom and pull out whatever treasure has been frequenting my orifices that week. Really, my friends are great.

There are so many awkwardnesses surrounding the sharing of sexuality with your friends in this culture, though.

Recently I went through my toy collection and made a list of toys I never use and don’t need or want to own anymore. They’re all sterilizable and none of them have been in my butt. I sent out a message to a few select friends containing the list and some links, and asked them to choose anything they wanted to have.

Admittedly, I was nervous about doing this. My friends are extremely sex-positive and toy-positive, but I worried they would freak out, call me gross, and admonish me for even bringing it up. Luckily, they didn’t – and next week I’ll be passing on some under-loved, high-quality toys to my sweet friends.

My boyfriend thinks this is all a bit weird. Maybe it’s a relic of male culture – you know, all those ideas about how overly-intimate friendships are icky and how sex is something you share with your hos, not your bros – but he gets visibly squicked out when I mention that I’m giving a toy of mine to a friend. He’s fine with using my toys himself, but that’s because we’re fluid-bonded and I guess a sexual relationship is considered a socially acceptable environment for sharing toys.

I remember when I was 17 and my ambiguous friend/lovergirl bought a rabbit vibrator. Having owned a vibrator and a dildo but never a dual-action toy, I was very curious about her new purchase. So one night, when she came over for a little party I was having at my house, she stowed the rabbit in her bag and passed it to me surreptitiously. “Go try it out!” she said.

I scampered away from the party guests and into the bathroom, where I tried out the toy, sans lube (ugh, youthful stupidity). It didn’t blow me away. It didn’t even really turn me on. (This is no surprise to me now, since I’ve tried a re-skinned version of that same rabbit and had the same mediocre results.) After I had satisfied my curiosity, I removed the toy, rinsed it off, and brought it back to my lady. She asked me what I thought and I probably kinda shrugged.

So what’s my point with all this? Honestly, I’m not really sure I have one. I guess I’m just intrigued by and curious about the social norms surrounding sex toys. Some of them are there for good reason – you don’t want to accidentally transmit or contract an STI via a borrowed and unsterilized toy, of course – but some of them just seem silly. So what if I want to give my friend a vibrating hand-me-down? If she’s okay with it, and I’m okay with it, and the toy is clean, what’s the big deal?

What are your experiences with giving or receiving used sex toys? Do you consider it off-limits, and if so, why?

Review: Jimmyjane Form 2

Before I was a sex toy reviewer, I lusted passionately after everything Jimmyjane. I was especially curious about the Form 2, and my desire was inflamed even more when I saw that Gala Darling called the Form 2 “the best, best, best sex toy [she has] ever encountered.”

The Form 2 is a waterproof, rechargeable clitoral vibrator shaped like a pair of bunny ears or an extracted tooth. It comes in your choice of hot pink or “slate,” a dark grey color. It charges magnetically via a little dock that you can sit it on when it’s not in use. It’s covered in high-quality silicone and the bottom is stainless steel. In other words: ka-ching! This toy is luxe as hell. If it is your dream to feel like Donald Trump every time you masturbate, then you’ve arrived.

The magic of the Form 2 is in its dual motors. See, each ear has its own motor, so when you lay the toy vertically on your clit, each side gets its own dose of stimulation. I found this difficult to adjust to; normally I get off by having the top of my clit stimulated, through the hood, so stimulation of the sides felt a bit foreign. I remedied this by nestling my clit so the hood touches the valley in between the ears, which feels awesome and gets me off every single time.

But back to those dual motors… The Form 2 has some run-of-the-mill patterns, including constant vibration and short pulsations, but the winner, by a mile, is the oscillation mode. In this mode, the vibrations shift back and forth rhythmically between the two ears, and – as others have noted – it feels kind of like oral sex. Actually, I think it feels closer to oral than toys which try to feel like oral. Ever since I discovered this mode, I haven’t used the others at all, because it’s perfect.

The vibrations of the Form 2 are surprisingly strong and rumbly for how small it is. In fact, sometimes the lowest speed feels like too much when I first start using it – but then I just warm myself up by running the ears lightly over my labia and vaginal opening, and it all works out in the end.

It would be unethical of me to write a review of the Form 2 without mentioning what Epiphora calls its “fatal flaw”. Look around at almost any review of this toy and you’ll see mention of it: apparently sometimes the toy becomes very loud and the vibrations shift into the base, making it unusable. I’ve used my Form 2 many times and I’ve never encountered this glitch, but lots of people have reported it, so I feel it’s important to mention. This toy is expensive as hell and there’s no guarantee that it won’t act up (though it does come with a nice three-year warranty).

The Form 2 has become, easily, one of my very favorite clitoral vibes. It’s stronger and more pinpointed than the Lelo Siri and has better modes than the We-Vibe Tango – but it’s also more expensive and potentially less reliable than either of those toys, so take that into consideration.