vibrator

Review: We-Vibe Tango

Kate Sloan

I didn’t think much of We-Vibe’s line of clitoral vibrators when I first saw them. They’re the size of regular bullet vibes, which are so dime-a-dozen and unremarkable that many sex toy companies even give them away for free with pricier purchases. It was this video by Dodson and Ross that changed my mind – they claimed that their We-Vibe Tango rivaled the Hitachi in power. And it’s rechargeable. And waterproof. So I decided I needed one.

As for those claims about the Tango’s vibration strength – they are not inflated. At least, not by much. I did my research, and the Hitachi’s lower speed – considered too high by many – is 5000 RPM (rotations per minute), whereas the Tango’s highest speed is 4800. RPM refers to rumbliness (lower is rumblier, higher is buzzier), not actual motor strength, but keep in mind that rumbly vibes often feel stronger than buzzy ones, even when they’re not, because the rumbles penetrate deeper into the clitoral network. The Tango has oomph that only a devotee of the Hitachi or Wahl would scoff at (and even those folks should consider a Tango for when they go traveling and don’t want to lug a big electric massager with them). This sucker is really fucking strong and impressively low-pitched, so I feel it deep inside my vulva, not just on the surface of my clit.

My Tango is a pretty shade of powder blue. We-Vibe takes risks with their colour schemes, stocking “traditional” sex toy hues like pink along with less traditional ones like teal, red, and white. The word “Tango” is subtly embossed at the bottom of the toy. Though this vibe is made of hard plastic, not usually my favorite material for sex toys, it feels very well-made and high-quality.

The Tango and the other We-Vibe clit toys, Salsa and Touch, all have the same motor but each offer different options in terms of shape. When choosing which one you want, it’s a good idea to look at your current favorite clit toys and figure out which you prefer: a traditional rocket-like bullet shape (Salsa), a flat lipstick-like tip (Tango), or a pointed tip and/or scoop shape (Touch). I decided to go for the Tango because my clit really digs the flat tip of my Lelo Mia but has found the Mia too weak sometimes. The Tango solves that problem easily and is exactly what I wanted.

In addition to four steady speeds that range in power from “kinda strong” to “practically Hitachi strong,” the Tango has four vibration patterns. Two of them, the rhythmic “cha-cha” and annoying pulse, do little to nothing for me. But the other two are pretty cool. The “wave” pattern goes up and down gradually and smoothly in a roller coaster-like way, making me feel like I’m almost going to come and then backing off again like a devilish lover. The “tease” pattern is made up of several long pulses followed by a series of shorter ones, and I find it maddening in the best possible way.

As I mentioned, the Tango is waterproof (it charges magnetically, so you don’t have to worry about any water getting into a charging port), and wonderfully, water doesn’t weaken its vibrations. Sadly, pressure does. I find that, as with my Eroscillator, I get the best mileage out of Tango’s power if I hold it lightly on my clit. Pressure-lovers will find this to be a dealbreaker but I think it feels just as good.

Remember when I said the Tango is far superior to the Lelo Mia? It is, except for one thing: Mia can be locked for travel. I would love to be able to keep the Tango in my bag at all times in case of a sudden arousal emergency, but I’d be too paranoid that it would turn on accidentally, especially since turning it on is as easy as pressing its button once.

Speaking of the button… Whyyyy is there only one?! I realize they’ve done that to preserve space and make the toy as uncluttered as possible, but it’s obnoxious sometimes. I don’t always want to have to cycle through all the patterns to get back to my preferred steady speed.

One final issue: my Tango has a small white bump on its tip. I know this isn’t a fluke because I’ve seen a few other reviews mention the same defect. I use the flat part of the Tango on my clit, not the pointed tip, so I have yet to hurt myself on the bump, but this is something We-Vibe should work to improve in future batches.

Do you hate most small clit vibes because they’re not strong enough? Do you wish there was a decently powerful alternative to those stupid watch-battery bullet vibes that you can stick in the base of your strap-on dildos? Do you want a toy that will get you off in the bath or on vacation? Do you need your vibrators to be quiet and discreet? If you answered yes to any of those questions, get the Tango or its sister, the Salsa. Your clit deserves some rumbly lovin’.

She Died and Left Me Her Vibrator

Kate Sloan

A few weeks ago, my great-aunt passed away. This blog isn’t the right space to talk about death and mourning, so I won’t get into all that, but it was a sad time.

While we sat around at the hospital, letting it sink in, my aunt (who knows I review sex toys) said to me, “When we were clearing out her apartment, we found a vibrator from the 1960s. You should have it for your collection.” I laughed, sort of thinking she was joking, but sure enough, a few days later, she dropped by with said vibrator in a plastic bag.

I was immediately struck by how much it resembles my Wahl. In fact, I initially thought it was an older model of the Wahl, until I saw the name branded on the side, “The Body Machine.” It was manufactured by a Canadian company called Charlescraft, whose website features autoplay music (ugh) and various appliances and contraptions, but no massagers. I guess they stopped making them around the time that people realized they could get real sex toys and stop repurposing their innocent muscle massagers.

While I had no intention of using the Body Machine (sorry, can’t get onboard with using my deceased relative’s instrument of lust on my genitals), I wanted to test how its power compared to the Wahl. I expected it to be stronger, but actually, the Wahl easily wins out. The Body Machine’s low speed is akin to the mid-range on a contemporary rechargeable vibe, and its high speed is barely any higher. I guess my great-aunt was less choosy about her sex toys than I am (although, I guess if it were the ‘60s, you’d have to be).

So what’s the point of all this? I guess it just served as a reminder for me that practically everyone is sexual, even the folks you wouldn’t think of in that way. With few exceptions, we all want to get our rocks off and have fun doing it. I’m just glad I live in a time and place where I can buy products specifically designed to give me orgasms, rather than relying on a home appliance.

Review: Wahl 2-Speed

Kate Sloan

The Wahl 2-Speed All-Body Massager is meant for sore muscles, not genitalia. But then again, so is one of the most famous vibrators of all time, the Hitachi Magic Wand. So even though the Wahl’s instruction pamphlet says specifically to avoid using the massager on your junk, I went ahead and did it anyway, because plenty of other reviewers told me it would be awesome.

It is awesome. The AC-powered Wahl is easily the strongest vibrator I’ve ever used – which makes sense, given that it’s designed to penetrate deeply into muscles.

In fact, I’m such a sensitive gal that I initially didn’t enjoy my Wahl all that much. I’d hold it on my clit on the low setting for a few seconds and then I’d get that tickly, too-sensitive feeling and have to remove it. For me, the solution was as simple as positioning the vibe a little higher up on my clitoral hood, closer to the vulval mound. Et voilà! Pleasure.

As its name suggests, the Wahl 2-Speed has… two speeds. The lower one is somewhat buzzy, and is comparable with the high settings on most standard vibrators. It’s a nice speed, but I find my clit wants more when I get close to coming. So I click up to the high speed, which is kind of insane. Every Wahl review I’ve read has made some comparison to a jackhammer or other power tool, and that’s apt. It’s extremely rumbly and very intense. It literally feels like someone very tiny is punching my clit repeatedly. I know that sounds unpleasant – and it would be, if I jumped right into it – but when I’m aroused enough, it’s exactly what I need.

My Wahl is an older one, so it came with seven different attachments, each with a different body part it’s supposed to service. The newer Wahls only come with four of the seven, but luckily, this includes the two most useful ones for sexytimes usage – the “spot application” attachment, which is perfect for clits and nipples, and the “facial massage” attachment, which can be used like a suction cup to make your favorite dildo vibrate. (Yes, I have tried this, and the vibrations are so strong that I actually enjoy it, despite the fact that I don’t generally like internal vibration. Yay!)

The obvious upside of the Wahl is that it will get you off. Much like the Hitachi, some people might have to use it through towels or underwear or what have you, but it will eventually give you an orgasm. But what about the downsides? Well, it’s kinda heavy. And it’s kinda bulky. It doesn’t fit so well between bodies for use during sex. It may be a bit numbing for some, especially on the buzzier lower setting. And my orgasms with the Wahl, while being very strong and reliable, are sometimes almost painful because the high speed is so aggressive.

This isn’t a vibe for folks who can get off easily from little stimulation. This is a vibe for those of us who enjoy serious power (indeed, clit-punching power) and aren’t afraid to put our genitals near a massager that resembles a gun or a hairdryer.

If that sounds like you, get the Wahl. It’s more focused than the Hitachi and some say it’s even stronger, so other than temporary clitoral sensitivity, what have you got to lose?

Sex Toy Wishlist #3

Kate Sloan

Yes, it’s that time again, folks! Here’s another list of sex toys that I’m aching for at the moment.

1. Duncan Charles Designs G-Brush – I’ve never tried a ceramic dildo before. I imagine it shares a similar firmness and heft with glass, which sounds pretty good to me. Duncan Charles Designs make some gorgeous ceramic toys and my vag is already fawning over the sight of this G-Brush. I feel like it’d either be profoundly uncomfortable or astonishingly effective.

2. ISA Research and Education Kegelcisor – I am very partial to kegel exercisers that double as pleasurable toys. The idea of it is so wonderful, though it’s so often poorly executed. This stainless steel “Kegelcisor” looks like a winner, though. (Can you tell yet that I love toy materials with a naturally low temperature? Give me glass and steel e’ry day!)

3. Venus Aromatic Bath Salts – Normally I don’t even look at “sensual” products on sex toy websites, but this brand of bath salts comes in a scent called “man.” Seriously, “MAN.” There was some joking around between my Twitter followers and I about what this could possibly mean, but I’m guessing some sort of tame cologne scent. Still, though: a must-try. If just so that, when someone asks me what I’m wearing to make me smell so nice, I can say, “Man.”

4. We-Vibe Tango – We-Vibe’s rechargeable clitoral vibes are supposedly some of the strongest available. After less-than-satisfying experiences with Nea, Mia, and others, I would really love to get my hands on a clit vibe that knows what it’s doing. Particularly one that comes in blue. (Oh, We-Vibe, you know the way to my heart.)

5. Fun Factory G4 Patchy Paul – Up til now, I have somehow managed to go through life without owning a single Fun Factory toy. This definitely needs to change. The G4 vibes are rechargeable and waterproof and are hailed as some of the strongest vibes you can get with those qualities – plus, they come in positively delightful colors. I’m pretty sure Patchy Paul and I could get to be good friends.

My Sex Toy Drawers

Kate Sloan

Today I’m going to take a leaf out of Epiphora’s book and show you how I store my sex toys. This is something I’m always curious about with other people, so I thought I’d share some photos for those of you who obsess over toy storage as much as I do!

When I first started reviewing sex toys, I cleaned out this old stack of plastic drawers that had been holding miscellaneous papers and objects in my bedroom for years. I had previously been keeping my sex toys in a vintage hatbox, but my collection was already starting to outgrow that method, so I knew it was time for an upgrade.

On top of the drawers, I keep my external hard drives (there’s no other place for them to go, so whatevs!), a bottle of antibacterial toy cleaner, and a washcloth for wiping off the cleaner once it’s done its job. I also usually keep newer toys on top of the drawers as a reminder to myself that I need to use them so I can review them.

The top drawer holds all my frequently-used favorites, with the exception of the Eroscillator which I keep plugged in at my bedside. This drawer contains the Fling, Pure Wand, Tsunami (review coming on Friday!), Lelo Mona, Turbo Glider, and Amethyst. I’ve also stuffed in some Tantus stickers that I don’t know what to do with, and my original Eroscillator attachments, which I never use now that I have the fingertip attachment.

The second drawer holds anal toys like the Ripple and Joe Rock, vaginal exercisers like the Eclipse balls and Magic Banana, and couples’ toys like the Tiani and FixSation. I’ve also filled this drawer with toy wipes, small bottles and packets of lube, unneeded bullet vibes, flavored condoms, and latex gloves. This is basically a drawer of miscellany. As a side note, I keep all the silicone toys wrapped in plastic bags so that they don’t touch each other and have chemical reactions.

My third drawer is deeper than the others, so it can fit more stuff. I use it to hold all the dildos I use sometimes but not too often, like the Ella, Adam, and Echo. Once again, I keep the silicone toys wrapped in plastic bags (which are kept in this drawer for easy access), and I try to wrap all the glass toys in some kind of padded covering, like a scarf or some packing materials.

The bottom drawer doesn’t get used very often. Currently it’s where I keep extra condoms, porn DVDs, erotica books, and random instructional booklets that came with some of my toys.

As for the toys I own that I rarely or never use anymore, those get stashed in my hatbox, where I can remove them to show them off to friends but don’t actually have to look at them or deal with them. I keep condoms in a little easy-access basket right next to my bed, and lube just adjacent to that.

How do you store your sex toys? What would be the ideal storage system for your toy collection?