vibrator

My Sex Toy Drawers

Kate Sloan

Today I’m going to take a leaf out of Epiphora’s book and show you how I store my sex toys. This is something I’m always curious about with other people, so I thought I’d share some photos for those of you who obsess over toy storage as much as I do!

When I first started reviewing sex toys, I cleaned out this old stack of plastic drawers that had been holding miscellaneous papers and objects in my bedroom for years. I had previously been keeping my sex toys in a vintage hatbox, but my collection was already starting to outgrow that method, so I knew it was time for an upgrade.

On top of the drawers, I keep my external hard drives (there’s no other place for them to go, so whatevs!), a bottle of antibacterial toy cleaner, and a washcloth for wiping off the cleaner once it’s done its job. I also usually keep newer toys on top of the drawers as a reminder to myself that I need to use them so I can review them.

The top drawer holds all my frequently-used favorites, with the exception of the Eroscillator which I keep plugged in at my bedside. This drawer contains the Fling, Pure Wand, Tsunami (review coming on Friday!), Lelo Mona, Turbo Glider, and Amethyst. I’ve also stuffed in some Tantus stickers that I don’t know what to do with, and my original Eroscillator attachments, which I never use now that I have the fingertip attachment.

The second drawer holds anal toys like the Ripple and Joe Rock, vaginal exercisers like the Eclipse balls and Magic Banana, and couples’ toys like the Tiani and FixSation. I’ve also filled this drawer with toy wipes, small bottles and packets of lube, unneeded bullet vibes, flavored condoms, and latex gloves. This is basically a drawer of miscellany. As a side note, I keep all the silicone toys wrapped in plastic bags so that they don’t touch each other and have chemical reactions.

My third drawer is deeper than the others, so it can fit more stuff. I use it to hold all the dildos I use sometimes but not too often, like the Ella, Adam, and Echo. Once again, I keep the silicone toys wrapped in plastic bags (which are kept in this drawer for easy access), and I try to wrap all the glass toys in some kind of padded covering, like a scarf or some packing materials.

The bottom drawer doesn’t get used very often. Currently it’s where I keep extra condoms, porn DVDs, erotica books, and random instructional booklets that came with some of my toys.

As for the toys I own that I rarely or never use anymore, those get stashed in my hatbox, where I can remove them to show them off to friends but don’t actually have to look at them or deal with them. I keep condoms in a little easy-access basket right next to my bed, and lube just adjacent to that.

How do you store your sex toys? What would be the ideal storage system for your toy collection?

Review: PicoBong Kaya

Kate Sloan

Lelo is one of my very favorite sex toy companies. They make beautiful, rechargeable vibrators that could satisfy any luxury-loving vibration fan. In their efforts to expand, they released a cheaper, lower-end line of toys, marketed toward younger people with less money to spend on “luxury erotic lifestyle objects” – people like me, I suppose. The line is called PicoBong and it’s been effectively torn apart by the sex toy reviewers of the world.

Judging by the awful-to-middling descriptions of PicoBong’s toys, which cite flaws ranging from insufficient vibrations to badly-placed seams, I wasn’t expecting much when I received my bright turquoise Kaya in the mail. But I soon learned that Kaya is from PicoBong’s newer line of products, and is therefore a significant improvement on the items reviewers were rightfully complaining about. Still, though, it’s far from perfect.

If I could design my ideal rabbit, it would look similar to the Kaya – slim-to-average shaft, flexible curved clitoral arm, body-safe silicone, simple controls (up, down, change mode) – but my rabbit would have a twirling shaft, not a vibrating one. Why? Because most G-spots, including mine, respond better to stroking and pressure than they do to vibration. I think a vibrating rabbit shaft is something of a cop-out: an easy way to design a toy, but not the most effective design for the majority of users, at least from what I can tell.

Kaya’s power is far better than I was expecting, given how many people lamented the pitiful vibration strength of the previous PicoBong products. Turned all the way up, it’s comparable to the upper speeds of my Lelo Mona – strong enough to get off the average user, but not enough for a power queen. The clitoral arm thrums impressively, and as ambivalent as I feel about the internal motor, it’s not bad, either.

Kaya is waterproof. I successfully used it in the bath without any problems. It’s not the quietest of toys, but it’s certainly not the loudest – a bedmate would hear you using it, but someone down the hall probably wouldn’t.

The Kaya really shines when you start cycling through its vibration modes. Most of them just switch back and forth between the two motors, but they do so in varied and creative ways. There’s one pattern in particular that I really like, where the clitoral arm hums steadily while the internal motor goes up and down in a roller-coaster-like way, feeling almost like it’s stroking my G-spot. Sadly, this mode is useless to me when I want to reach orgasm, because the up-and-down buttons control the internal motor in this mode, while the external motor stays at the same medium level no matter what I do. If I want to get off with this mode, I have to press the outer arm into my clit or rub it up and down – and that sort of defeats the purpose of using a sex toy, doesn’t it?

The Kaya’s shape is good, its vibrations are adequate, and it’s easy to use. However, I can’t give it my seal of approval, because it costs $89.95. For a battery-powered vibe that will only work for some users, that’s way too much money. I’d be willing to say this toy was worth the price if it was rechargeable, or if the shaft rotated, or if each motor could be controlled independently, but that’s not the case.

Get Kaya if you really, really want a cute-looking, battery-powered, waterproof, dual-stimulation vibrator with cool modes and a medium amount of power. But if that doesn’t sound like exactly what you’re looking for, I’d recommend that you spend a few extra dollars and spring for a toy from Lelo proper, or get a cheaper rabbit vibe from a different brand instead (as long as it’s made of a nonporous material). The Kaya is good, but not nearly good enough to warrant its high price tag.

5 Sex Toys I Covet For Their Weirdness

Kate Sloan

My sex toy wishlists are an eclectic amalgamation of awesome, good, and questionable. (You can click over to them using the links in my sidebar, if you want to take a look or even buy me something.) There are all sorts of materials (everything except jelly!), shapes, sizes, functions, intensities, volumes, companies, and levels of attractiveness. I thought I’d do a post to profile some of the weirder items on my wishlists, and the reasons I want them.

At first glance, the Vibratex Pixie Plus looks like any gross sex toy you could pull off a shelf at a low-end “novelty” sex shop – cheap, nubby, vaguely jelly-esque (don’t worry, it’s elastomer). But if you could turn it on, you’d see that the internal portion of the Pixie doesn’t vibrate – its tip strokes back and forth, like the famous “come hither” motion. Since most G-spots respond better to stroking than they do to vibration, I am all for dual-stimulation vibes with internal parts that do something interesting.

The Lelo Olga wins the award for most ridiculously luxe toy, because it’s just Ella made of stainless steel and given a price increase of approximately 700%. Despite what a silly purchase it’d be, I want it, because Ella’s neck was too bendy and couldn’t put enough pressure on my G-spot. Plus, you could use Olga to do your daily bicep curls.

Love To Love’s Oh Oui! is a hot pink vibrating banana. It makes me wonder if there is a fruit fetishist market within the sex toy industry. But I gotta say, it looks like it’d reach my G-spot efficiently, which is more than I can say for many toys.

I will one day have a Clone-a-Willy Kit. It turns out that my boyfriend’s cock is literally the perfect size for me – long enough to fill me up without hitting my cervix, wide enough to hit the right spots without stretching me apart – and I want a replica that I can use when I’m alone. For now, I’m lusting after the Mark O2 because it seems to have similar dimensions… but one day, I will want a real copy, and that is where Clone-a-Willy comes in.

There’s been much talk about the Sqweel, an oral sex simulator with ten fast-flapping tongues. Many reviewers say it’s messy, not stimulating enough, has seams you can feel, and gets in the way of any penetrative toys you might want to use in tandem with it. Still, something about it makes me want it. I’m a cunnilingus enthusiast 4 lyfe, and that is why I need a Sqweel, no matter how bad it is.

Review: FixSation

Kate Sloan

Sexy Living told me they were sending me a FixSation and I was like, “Oh great, another wearable vibrator. Prepare for disappointment.”

I’d previously had a very iffy experience with the Lelo Tiani, which is, itself, a rip-off of the We-Vibe. So I felt kinda “meh” about having to wedge another vibe between me and my man.

Honestly, though, the FixSation is pretty okay, as far as wearable vibes go.

Before I get into specifics… can we talk about the name for a second? FixSation. When I first heard it, I thought it was possibly the most nondescript product name I’d ever heard. It doesn’t exactly sound like a sex toy, nor does it really sound like anything in particular. FixSation’s slogan is “Fixate on the Sensation when Friction meets Vibration,” so the name makes sense if you know the toy’s mission, but I don’t think I would ever guess its purpose just from the name. This makes it unmemorable – throughout the testing process, my boyfriend and I kept saying stuff like, “Want to use that… weird contraption… lacy thing?” because we couldn’t remember what it was actually called.

The FixSation has some damn classy packaging, which I can always appreciate. It comes in a slipcovered, thick cardboard box, containing compartments that hold the charger, the vibrator itself, the garter belt-like adornment that it attaches to, and a grey satin-ish bag for storage. Also included: a page of warranty information and instructions with illustrations that make me laugh.

It’s a rechargeable toy (fully, unlike the Lelo Tiani, with its rechargeable main unit and battery-operated remote). The charging port is covered by a little rubber plug when not in use, making it splashproof. This is one way in which Tiani wins, by being fully waterproof. I’m not a frequent shower-fucker, but it’s nice to have that option.

I definitely recommend that you take the time to figure out the FixSation well in advance of when you plan to use it. Some reviewers have put it together in a snap, while others have struggled; as for me, I had to recruit my boyfriend to do it. He threaded the thin, stretchy straps of the “panty companion” through the sides of the FixSation itself, and then hooked them into the back of the panties. The whole process was fairly similar to dealing with a garter belt or a bra, but I’ve never really been good at that kind of thing (despite being a total femme all my life), so I’m glad I had my man on hand to help.

You’ll have to unhook and re-hook the FixSation from its garter-panties home anytime you want to wash it (soap and water works – it’s ABS plastic with a PU coating), but after doing it once or twice, it gets much easier.

Sexy Living sent me a size medium, and I normally wear a large. The panty companion didn’t cause me any discomfort, though; the only downside to having the wrong size is that it created an unsightly muffin top. As far as I can tell, the product runs true to size – and it goes up to size XXL (18-20). All you curvy goddesses, take note!

In use, I definitely preferred the FixSation to the Lelo Tiani. The FixSation is contoured to the shape of the pubic mound and vulva, so it stays put when I wear it during sex. And unlike the other leading couples’ vibes (We-Vibe and Tiani), the FixSation has no internal arm. Women like me, who have a small-ish vagina that can only just accommodate a penis, may enjoy this feature of the FixSation. I certainly found it a lot more comfortable to wear than the Tiani, because there wasn’t any hard silicone poking me in the G-spot every five seconds.

One discomfort issue, which isn’t so much painful as annoying, is the ridges on the “female side” of the FixSation. They’re meant to stimulate the clit, which seems almost like a good idea until you realize: who wants tiny ridges rubbing over their clit?! Not me. The ridges are only really noticeable if my boyfriend presses really hard against me, but it’s enough of an issue to make me wish that this toy had a clit-sized bump there instead.

To turn on the vibrations, you hold down the power button (which is placed in a spot that’s actually convenient, hooray!) for 2-3 seconds. The FixSation has three speeds, which can be cycled through by pressing the button until you get to the desired speed. Disappointingly, the vibration strength is nothing to write home about, and is comparable at its highest to the medium settings on my other rechargeable toys, like the Lelo Mona.

For this reason, I don’t think the FixSation does well as a “finisher.” It doesn’t get me off during sex. It can feel very good, especially when my boyfriend presses his hips into me rhythmically or rotates them in a circle against my pelvis, but it just doesn’t have the power to get me off. It would work better for women who are sensitive and don’t usually use the highest settings on their toys.

Normally, if a toy is weak enough that I eventually have to give up and switch over to my Eroscillator, it makes me feel kind of frustrated and let down… but I don’t feel that way about the FixSation, at least not intensely. I feel that it’s a fun addition to intercourse, and it works better than the Lelo Tiani for what it’s set out to do – at least, for me. I might use it during those times when I want to make sex more enjoyable for myself but am not particularly fixated on getting off.

However, not gonna lie, I’m still eagerly waiting for the day that I discover a wearable vibe that actually makes me come during intercourse, hands-free. And preferably without poking my G-spot.

Review: Eroscillator

Kate Sloan

Oh, sweet mystery of life, at last I’ve found you!

The folks at SexToysCanada were very generous this month. They let me choose any toy I wanted to review. I chose the Eroscillator, and I’m damn glad I did.

This thing is the best clit stimulator I have ever tried. Period. No other sex toy has ever made my clit as happy as the Eroscillator does. And I’ll tell you why.

1. The oscillations don’t numb me out. The Eroscillator doesn’t pound against your body like a regular vibrator – instead, it oscillates (picture an oscillating fan). I’ve always had a love/hate relationship with vibrators because they desensitize me so quickly – I usually only have about 10 minutes before I go mostly numb and find it difficult to reach orgasm with the toy. Not so with the Eroscillator. The Eros allows me to retain all the sensation from my clit’s 8,000 nerve endings for the entire duration of my solo sexytime, so every moment of oscillation is felt and enjoyed. And I can play as long as I want, without worrying about trying to race my clit to the finish line. Hallelujah!

2. Multiple attachments. The Eroscillator 2 Plus package comes with three dual-headed attachments: the Grapes and Cockscomb, Golden Spoon, and Ball and Cup.

The Grapes head is suuuper textured. It’s covered in ten bulbous balls that all massage the clit at once. I find it’s very intense and ideal for when I’m already warmed up and getting close to orgasm. Its flipside, the Cockscomb, is a thin semicircle whose edge provides the most direct, undiluted access to the oscillations of any of the attachment heads; I find this head is great for pushing me over the edge, though I can’t handle it at a lower arousal level.

The Golden Spoon doesn’t do much for me. It’s too shallow to properly cup my clit, and even when it does, the little ball at the top of the spoon is too harsh for my little clit. On the flipside are eight small balls, with a space in the middle where my clit can fit, but I don’t particularly enjoy this attachment.

The Ball side of the Ball and Cup is nice for warm-up but doesn’t do much for me. The Cup side, on the other hand, fits perfectly over my clit. It was the first one I tried, and it was the one that made me go, “Oh my god, how can this possibly feel as good as it does?!”

I also bought the Ultra-Soft Fingertip attachment, because Betty Dodson says it’s the only one you need. Some people find this attachment too gentle, but I think it’s perfect. The Eroscillator’s oscillations are a tiny bit too intense for me, but the Fingertip calms them down to a level that is absolutely optimum for my purposes. Plus, it’s got no texture, so if the other attachments are too rough on your clit, this is the one to get.

3. High power. The Eroscillator is a plug-in toy. No batteries, no recharging, nothing. And the power cord is 12 feet long, so I can jerk off across the room from my outlet if that’s what I feel like doing. Because the Eros is electric, it never loses power. It always performs to the best of its ability.

It has three speeds, and all of them are lovely. I could probably reach orgasm using only the first setting, but it’s more fun to click up to medium, and then finally to high when I get close to coming. (The high setting may not be comparable with the Hitachi, but because oscillations are so different from vibrations, it’s still every bit as satisfying and functional as a high-powered vibrator.)

4. Quiet. The attachments rattle around a fair bit when the Eros is turned on, but as soon as I touch it to my body, the noise practically goes silent. It can barely be heard at all through my duvet, and definitely can’t be heard at all through my door.

5. Fast orgasms. Because the Eros’ movement basically mimics a finger moving back and forth, but much much faster, it can bring me the same kind of awesome orgasms I get from rubbing my clit, but in a much shorter time. I’m normally the type of girl who needs lots of warm-up and build-up, but with the Eros, I can go from “zero” to “orgasm” in under five minutes if need be.

That said, there are some issues with the Eroscillator that you’ll want to keep in mind if you’re considering buying it…

1. It’s overpriced. Especially considering that it’s made of plastic and you may not like the attachments it comes with. The Fingertip attachment I bought, which some reviewers have said is the only one they enjoy at all, is $40 extra on top of the $140 Eroscillator. I doubt I even would have sprung for the Fingertip if I hadn’t had a reviewers’ discount and some reward points saved up, because I really think the price is ridiculous.

2. The attachments aren’t silicone, but Eroscillator says that’s because their material is “a better alternative to silicone’s poor mechanical properties.” I dunno about that, but the materials are apparently non-porous, phthalate-free, boilable and bleachable. I still wish they were silicone because I just trust it more, but then, I’m a sex toy snob.

3. It doesn’t come with any storage solutions. Not even a bag to keep the attachments in. Maybe I’ve been spoiled by the likes of Lelo and Njoy, but I’ve come to expect that if I shell out over $100 for a toy, it generally comes with a box, or at the very least, a drawstring bag. The Eroscillator comes in a cardboard box that’s difficult to use for storage. I keep my base unit on my bedside table and my attachments in a small plastic bag.

4. It’s ugly. I wasn’t sure whether to even include this point, because a) I don’t think the Eroscillator is that ugly and b) it doesn’t really matter to me anyway, because it’s still the best toy I’ve tried. But some people get hung up on the Eros’ appearance, saying it looks like an electric toothbrush or a medieval torture device. Whatever, man – if you turn it down because it doesn’t fit with your decor, you’re just missing out on some epic orgasms.

Overall, I’d highly recommend the Eroscillator to anyone with a clit. It’s strong, efficient, variable, thin enough to slide between two bodies during sex, and it produces some stellar orgasms. But if you need Hitachi-level vibration, or you don’t feel it’s worth the hefty investment, or you can’t get past its modest looks, maybe it’s not the toy for you.

I can tell you, though, that my clit is pretty damn enamored with this contraption, and I think yours would be too!

Thank you so much to the people at SexToysCanada for making my clit sing with pleasure!