wand vibrator

In Praise of the Humble Wand Vibe (+ Win a Lelo Smart Wand!)

Kate Sloan

Wand vibrators, though iconic, are not exactly glamorous. They’re more utilitarian than sensual; more like an open fire hydrant than a bucolic meadow mist. As queen of the sex toy reviewers Epiphora put it, “I don’t feel very sexy using a wand… I’m getting the job done. I have the ideal tool for the job, and orgasm is GOING TO HAPPEN. I see it more as an instigator of orgasm than a sensual sort of experience.”

This is partly because the best-known wand vibes are made for muscle massage, or at least purport to be. I’m sure that this sterile, clinical aesthetic is important to lots of these wands’ users, rather than a detraction: I know I love wands when I’m depressed, for example, when the thought of touching my genitals or actually being “sexy” in any way can feel gross, overly intimate. I’m also drawn to them for medical-play scenes; a doctor wielding a vibrating purple dong just doesn’t stoke the imagination like that same doctor calmly pressing a smooth blue-and-white wand against my bits.

Then there’s the contingent of people who find wands too distractingly huge – or, worse, too intimidatingly pleasurable – to incorporate into sex. While no one is obliged to participate in any sex act they’re not into, denying your partner their truest pleasure because it mildly inconveniences you is kind of a dick move.

All of these problems, however, are alleviated when you choose a wand vibe that’s sleeker, more ergonomic, and more compact than the best-known contenders. That’s the niche Lelo was trying to fill when they created the Smart Wand Large. (There’s also a medium-sized version, but it’s not as powerful/rumbly, and, well, you know me: if it’s not a jackhammer then what’s the point?) With its smooth silicone, curved handle, and elegant aesthetic, this wand is a worthy option for people who kinda turn up their nose at the sight of a clunky Hitachi, but still want their vibrations deep and powerful.

Now that your interest is piqued, I’ll fire up your imagination even more: here are some of my all-time favorite things to do with wand vibes…

  • Vibrations with a side of fingerbanging. Being fingerfucked is one of my favorite things in the world, but I only get off from it if I’m getting adequate clit stimulation at the same time. Usually I provide this myself, with fingers or a toy, but lately my partner and I have developed enough trust that I let him hold a vibe against me with one hand while the fingers of his other hand are stroking my insides. We find that wands are the best tool for this job, because – unlike something smaller and more finicky – they can be held pretty much anywhere on my vulva and feel pretty damn good.
  • Forced orgasm. Take the previous point to the next level by adding a dash of bondage, a spoonful of D/s, and perhaps a sprinkle of sensory deprivation. Some wands are so powerful, they can make you feel like you’re hurtling uncontrolled toward orgasm, making them perfect for this type of kink scene.
  • Casual vibin’. I love letting a wand vibe meander aimlessly all over my vulva while I watch porn, read erotica, fantasize, or just listen to my partner spin sexy stories for me over the phone. I can keep my wand on a low setting for a while, revving me up physically while some other stimulus revs me up mentally. As someone who takes a while to get turned on and get off, I appreciate the broad, diffused feeling a wand can provide, for its usefulness in the early stages of arousal.

And now, an exciting treat: Lelo is offering a Smart Wand Large (perhaps the prettiest wand vibe I’ve ever seen?) to one lucky reader. This giveaway is only open to entrants in the United States. It will run for 2 weeks.

Even if you don’t win, you can use the code GIRLY15 to get 15% off your order at Lelo.com until February 10th. Yay!

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Heads up: this post was sponsored. As always, all writing and opinions are my own. In light of Lelo’s history, I’ve donated 40% of the fee I received for this post to the Interval House, a Toronto-based shelter for survivors of domestic violence.

5 Must-Have Props For a Forced-Orgasm Scene

Kate Sloan

Sometimes you finally act out a fantasy you’ve been dreaming of for years, and it’s disappointing and not at all what you expected. Other times, you try something you never even suspected you’d find hot, and it instantly becomes your new favorite thing.

And then there are times when you try something you’ve been curious about for ages, and it turns out to be exactly as hot in reality as it was in fantasy, if not moreso. That’s how I felt about forced-orgasm play when I first tried it.

The “forced orgasm” moniker covers a wide gamut of possible scenarios. A menacing femdom milks her sub’s cock to extract his cum for nefarious purposes. A daddy dom gets his sick little girl off to make her feel better. A mad scientist hooks his hapless subject up to a Venus 2000 to observe what happens after orgasm #5. A Victorian doctor administers hysterical paroxysm via electric vibrator for his patient’s own good.

See what I mean? Hot as fuck.

You can keep it simple when doing forced-orgasm play, and just tell your partner to stay still while you do all the dirty things to them that you know make them come the hardest. But toys, restraints, and other props can add a lot to this fantasy. Here are my top 5 suggestions for products that can take your forced-orgasm scene from “You gonna come for me?” to “That’s my good slut, there you go, just like that…”

Under-the-bed restraints. These are my favorite foolproof way to add an element of bondage into a scene. Once they’re installed on your bed, they barely require any effort to get into: one partner just has to strap the other person into all four cuffs, which takes long enough to build thrilling anticipation but not so long as to get tiresome. Once your partner is all spread out and tied down, you’ll have full access to their bits and can get down to business. (Pro tip: slide a pillow or a Liberator Jaz under their hips before you restrain them if you want a better angle for anal penetration, going down on them, riding their cock, or various other fun things.)

A wand vibrator. Wands are sort of the go-to toys for forced-orgasm play, since their notoriously strong vibrations can add to the sense that they’re “inducing” an orgasm against your will. My two faves for this purpose are the Magic Wand Rechargeable and Doxy Die Cast, although if you want something smaller/lighter/easier to wield, I can also heartily recommend the Jimmyjane Iconic Wand and Doxy Number Three. It’s fun to hold a wand against the genitals of someone who can’t squirm away from the intense sensations. Bonus points if you slide your fingers or a dildo inside them at the same time, overwhelming them with feelings they can’t escape. 😈

A blindfold. Taking away someone’s sense of sight heightens their other senses, which is particularly fun in a scene that’s all about providing an onslaught of sensation. Get a soft one that’s contoured to the face; they’ll probably be wearing it for a while, so it should be comfy and stay put!

Lube. For some people, a little strategic dryness might increase the exciting “non-consensual” element of the fantasy – but in general, you’re gonna wanna keep things wet, especially if you’re doing any kind of penetration. Pick something thick and long-lasting, like Sliquid Sassy or The Butters. If you’re doing some kind of medical-play scene, the slow application of cold lube may even add to the clinical feeling you’re going for.

A Fun Factory pulsator. These are expensive and definitely a nice-to-have, not a need-to-have. However, if you enjoy the fantasy of a “fucking machine” but don’t want to spend thousands of dollars, these are the next best thing. Slide a Stronic toy into your partner’s hole and keep it in place by putting a pillow or a Liberator toy against its handle. The toy will bounce faithfully against their G-spot or prostate, freeing you up to do other delightful stuff to the rest of their body!

Have you ever done a forced-orgasm scene? What toy(s) did you use?

 

Thanks so much to Peepshow Toys for sponsoring this post! They’re one of the companies helping me get to the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit this year. Check out their great selection of body-safe sex toys!

Review: Doxy Number 3

Kate Sloan

You know how the details of your early courtship with a new beau feel huge and important? The album you bonded over, the shirt they were wearing when they first asked you out, the exact wording of the inscription they penciled into a book they bought you?

One such detail in my relationship with my boyfriend is the Doxy Number 3, a vibrator he bought me as a Christmas gift less than two weeks after we met. #Romance, am I right?!

Doxy #3 vs. Doxy Die Cast

I wanted this li’l wand vibe from the moment I heard that it existed. It’s basically a miniature version of the Doxy Die Cast; my sex blogger friends referred to it as the “Doxy Smol” before we knew what it was actually called. A common complaint with wand vibes is how big and bulky they are, especially the heavy aluminum Die Cast, so making a littler version makes a lot of sense.

The #3 serves my needs quite well, as a pervy jetsetter for whom hotel-sex dates in foreign countries are a common occurrence. I can throw it in my checked luggage, or even probably my carry-on, without the hassle I’d experience trying to travel with a larger, heavier wand. And being a plug-in toy, it won’t turn on in transit.

Like all Doxy products, this one is beautiful and sensual. It feels expensive and high-quality, which it’d better, considering its $150+ price tag. I adore how the wand’s aluminum/titanium body feels so cold at first and then warms up during use. The twist-off silicone head is a nice touch, making it easy to clean the toy after use without worrying about getting the mechanics wet.

All that said, this product still has some issues that I hope Doxy fixes. In fact, so many people have reported problems with this wand that Come As You Are decided to pause on stocking it because of its “high defective rate.” Mine has a couple of annoying problems. First off, it overheats after 15-20 minutes of use, seeming to taunt me for taking “that long” to come. Quit harshin’ my vibe, vibe!

Secondly, it has a mechanical problem my original Doxy and Die Cast both also suffer from: the vibrations seem to move around, and change dramatically in quality, at random. When I first turn it on, it’s buzzy as hell, but if I press the head into my body hard enough, it switches to a rumblier timbre. I can usually get it to stay rumbly for a while, but sudden pressure or movement can cause it to switch back into buzzy mode without warning – which, needless to say, is particularly annoying when you’re coming or just about to come. Yikes, Doxy. What is even happening inside your vibes?!

My other big complaint about Doxy toys, including this one, is that they all start way too powerful and don’t have lower speed options for the hypersensitive among us. But that’s not too much of an inconvenience; I can always just hold the toy adjacent to my clit until I’m sufficiently warmed up and craving stronger sensations. And ultimately, Doxy products aren’t for people who want their vibes weaker; these are next-level toys for those with next-level vibration needs. So if you like your vibrators very fucking strong and you haven’t invested in a Doxy yet, you should consider it!

I think the Number 3 is, overall, my favorite Doxy, simply because my clit prefers more pinpointed sensations than a standard-size wand can offer. I use mine a lot, especially during phone sex with the absolute darling who bought it for me. But Doxy needs to do a better job at quality control before I’ll be able to wholeheartedly recommend their products. When you buy a wand this fancy and pricey, you should be confident it’s not going to overheat or ruin your orgasm!

The Doxy Number Three is available at SheVibe and Peepshow Toys!

Review: Doxy Die Cast

Kate Sloan

When Doxy gifted me a Die Cast, I heard proverbial angels singing from heaven. Because I knew orgasms aplenty were on my horizon.

See, if one thing is true about Doxy wands, it’s that they are strong. I’m not the ideal person to be reviewing Doxy wands, in fact, because I’m so sensitive I barely use the power for which they’re famous. My Die Cast is the only toy in my regular rotation that I always wish had a lower speed. I turn it on and think, “This can’t possibly be where we’re starting. This is a higher speed than most of my vibes end at.”

But don’t get me wrong: it gives me orgasms nonetheless. Lots and lots of ’em.

The Die Cast is an updated version of the original Doxy Wand. While it’s hard to find fault with a strong, rumbly wand vibe, I have a couple quibbles with my original Doxy: the buttons sometimes get stuck and skip speeds, and the squishy PVC head makes the vibrations feel somewhat buried. Both these issues are fixed in the Die Cast, so I use it far more and enjoy it more when I do.

The Die Cast’s head is silicone, so it’s non-porous and easier to clean. It also transmits vibrations better than the PVC did, so it feels even stronger than the original wand. The head is “double-weighted,” too – a technology that is supposed to make the Die Cast’s vibrations feel rumblier. When I use the original Doxy, I only go up to the second speed; with the Die Cast, I literally only ever use the first one. (I know, right?!)

This is, if anything, my one major complaint about the Die Cast: I wish it had some lower speeds. While using it, I’ve often had the thought, “This thing is like the belt sander of sex toys.” True, I can hold it on my outer labia so it only stimulates my clit indirectly, or use it through clothes, or employ other techniques I’ve developed for dealing with overzealous wand vibes, but I would rather not have to do all that. If it’s been a few days since I’ve used a vibrator, often the Die Cast will feel alarmingly, almost uncomfortably strong, prompting me to grab a weaker vibe to use as a warm-up until I’m ready for more.

The Die Cast’s body is made of a titanium/aluminum alloy. It feels super sexy and sensual – and I love the glittery texture of my red one! – but it makes this wand heavier than the original. I only tend to notice this when I’ve been using it for a while or when my chronic joint pain is flaring up. If you have strength or mobility issues, you’ll want to go with a lighter wand.

Like many powerful vibrators, the Die Cast is lovely for forced-orgasm play. At my request, a partner cuffed me into my under-the-bed restraints and then held the head of the Die Cast in his palm, pressing it against my clit while he pushed two fingers inside me and muttered filthy shit in my ear. After I came so hard I practically ascended to heaven, my beau grinned and said, “Are you glad you asked me to do that?” and yeah, I really, really was. However, like I’ve said, the Die Cast is somewhat heavy, so it’s not as well-suited to forced-orgasm scenes as something lighter like the Magic Wand Rechargeable.

The MWR also has the benefit of being cordless, while the Doxy wands are corded. This doesn’t bother me when I have the space and forethought to leave my wand plugged in, but if it’s a choice between standing up to plug in an unplugged wand and just grabbing my MWR, usually my lazy ass will go for the MWR.

Noise-wise, the Die Cast is comparable to most other electric vibes of this power level: definitely audible if you’re in the room with it, but probably undetectable through walls and doors.

On the whole, I’ve still been reaching for my beloved Tango and MWR more often than the Die Cast, because I like their wider variety of gentler speeds and that they’re lighter and easier to hold than this big heavy behemoth. But if you need power, and want it to come in an absolutely stunning package, I can’t recommend the Doxy Die Cast highly enough. It’s gorgeous, well-made, and does the fucking trick.

 

Thanks very much to Doxy for supplying me with this wand to review! You can buy the Die Cast at Peepshow ($200 USD), SheVibe ($190 USD), or Come As You Are ($236 CAD/~$190 USD).

Review: Le Wand

Kate Sloan

Y’all, I’m so angry about the Le Wand. SO ANGRY. It has been a long time since a sex toy has pissed me off this much. But I have some Opinions and Feelings about this one and we are going to talk about them.

This rechargeable wand vibrator – sent to me for my honest review by the lovely folks at Peepshow Toys – was designed as an upgrade to existing wand vibes like the Magic Wand and Doxy. In a braggy interview about her product, designer Alicia Sinclair says, “I’ve always found the aesthetics and design of wands rather unappealing, industrial and masculine… In my humble opinion, Le Wand satisfies this need in the market by offering a refined classic wand massager with upgraded features and gorgeous design.”

It’s definitely good for companies to keep trying to outdo the Magic Wand, reigning queen of the wand vibe genre. Innovation and improvement are important, and perpetual forward motion in the market is one of the only good things about capitalism. But here’s the thing: if you claim to be innovative, you need to actually innovate. The Le Wand does not. In fact, in many ways, it’s a massive step backward for wand vibrators.

First, let’s talk aesthetics. Sinclair says her wand’s design is “elegant,” “sensual,” “fresh” and “stylised.” But let’s be real: it’s essentially a re-skin of the Magic Wand Rechargeable. Seriously, they look like fraternal twins. The product names are printed in the same spot, the number of buttons is the same and they are located in exactly the same place on the body of the toy, the bases of the toy are the same shape, and they even use the same charger! For a toy that claims to be so groundbreaking, the Le Wand sure seems like a straight-up ripoff of the Magic Wand.

It’s not an improvement vibrations-wise, either. Though Le Wand’s ad copy repeatedly claims its vibrations are rumbly, it’s one of the buzzier wands of this size that I’ve tried. The Magic Wand, especially on its two lower speeds, is so delightfully rumbly that you can actually see its head thrumming back and forth during use, and feel it rippling against you. The Le Wand, comparatively, stays pretty stationary and its vibrations are much more surface-level, leading to numbness far more quickly. My clit gets bored and blasé instead of staying engaged and excited.

And the noise! The Le Wand is one of the loudest vibrators I’ve ever encountered. Even on the lowest speed, it sounds like an angry robotic cow having a mooing tantrum. Its lowest speed is just as loud as the Magic Wand Rechargeable’s highest speed, though not as strong or as rumbly. In testing my Le Wand, I was reminded of that time a partner fucked me with a toy while my best friend shot porn in the next room; I had my Magic Wand on my clit, set to the lowest speed, and it was quiet enough that we didn’t even have to worry about fucking up the porn happening nearby. There’s no way that would’ve been true if I was using the Le Wand. (It wouldn’t have gotten me off anywhere near as quickly, either.)

The Le Wand’s head is more rounded than the angular, squarish head of the Magic Wand. For many people, this won’t be an issue, but for me, it has a marked effect on my ability to get off with this toy: I prefer relatively pinpoint stimulation on my clit, so I always hold my Magic Wand slightly angled so as to get that focused corner right on my clit. That isn’t possible with the smooth, rounded head of the Le Wand, though they do sell attachments separately which can narrow the vibrations into a slimmer shape.

Additionally, one of the most-advertised features of the Le Wand – its bendy neck – isn’t actually as effective as the toy’s promotional copywriters seem to think. As with the Magic Wand, there’s a little flexibility in the neck, but you have to press pretty hard to get it to bend. This is a good thing for people who like pressure on their clit, but seems to me like false advertising.

The Le Wand has 20 different vibration patterns, and unlike most patterns, some of them are actually good. My complaint about patterns is usually that they’re too slow or that there’s too much space between bursts of vibration, so they act as a tease without really getting me closer to orgasm. But many of the Le Wand’s patterns are continuous vibration moving up and down in waves or fast pulses, so I can actually get off using them. This toy’s vibrations are still so aggressively buzzy that I don’t like using it on my bare genitals, because of the numbness and slight itchiness that ensues – but the Le Wand’s patterns, applied to my vulva through panties and/or pants, can be kind of nice sometimes.

But for a vibe that costs $170, the Le Wand should be way better than it is. It should be rumblier and quieter, and it shouldn’t be an obvious Hitachi clone. The Magic Wand Rechargeable costs only $125 and is superior in every way that matters to me. Get that one, or the also-wonderful (but electric, not rechargeable) Doxy Wand for $120. You’ll be much happier with either choice than you would with the shrill, buzzy bleating of the Le Wand.

 

Thanks so much to Peepshow Toys for sending me this vibe to review!