winter

Behind the Seams: Bundled Up in Brooklyn

Kate Sloan

February 2nd, 2026

Wore this out to dinner with my wife, mb. My hair is chaotic because I was still a bit sad about a hard conversation I’d had to have with a friend a couple days before this, but mb took good care of me! Anyone remember this old Dildorks logo, drawn by Amy/Starboots? I still love it, even though we don’t really look like this anymore and have since switched to new album art by Addison Finch.

What I’m wearing:

  • Dildorks baseball tee – Zazzle circa 2017
  • Black cashmere cardigan – Gap
  • Black ponte pants – Gap, gift from my mama
  • Black leather Frye harness boots
  • Black leather vintage Coach Willis bag

February 4th, 2026

It was insanely cold in New York for much of January and February – and I say that as someone who grew up in Canada! I bundled up every time I left the house, and also had to layer my clothing carefully, even for quick jaunts to the local pizzeria or dispensary.

Here’s what I wore to go have drinks with my pal Brent (a.k.a. Brentalfloss, my Question Box cohost) at a bowling-themed bar called Gutter Bar. We regaled each other with various gossipy sagas from our personal and professional lives over IPAs. Pretty ideal, despite it being so cold outside that my eyelashes kept freezing over when I was en route!

What I’m wearing:

  • Pink cashmere sweater – J. Crew
  • Denim jumpsuit – Aritzia
  • Pink knit toque – gift from my mom
  • Pink leather Doc Martens
  • Prescription sunglasses – Zenni
  • Black leather vintage Coach Willis bag
  • Navy clitoris-shaped earrings – a now-defunct Etsy shop

February 6th, 2026

It’s always a good day (or night) to visit Boyfriend Co-Op, a lesbian bar/café overflowing with vintage furniture and mellow vibes. Went there with my wife on this day to celebrate some good news she’d received! We sat at the bar and sipped lovely cocktails over great conversation.

What I’m wearing:

  • Blue “Slut for Kindness” T-shirt – Supriya x Eva Bloom
  • Blue cashmere cardigan – Gap
  • Skinny jeans – thrifted
  • Blue metallic Doc Martens
  • Black knit toque with ghost logo – Vaultboy merch
  • Black leather vintage Coach Willis bag

February 7th, 2026

Another outfit for a low-key dinner with the wife, if I recall correctly. We may have been going to Santa Panza. (Their ragu mafaldine pasta is my favorite comfort meal currently. Preferably with a Paper Plane or two!)

What I’m wearing:

  • Black blazer – thrifted
  • Red T-shirt – thrifted
  • Black pants – Gap, via my mom
  • Black leather Frye harness boots
  • Silver hoop earrings

February 8th, 2026

Another way-too-cold day. One thing I learned, growing up in Toronto (and occasionally having to schlep to 8 a.m. university lectures on the streetcar in the middle of winter), is that comfort is ultimately more important to me than looking cute. It sucks when you’re trying to have a good time with pals but you can’t stay present because your teeth are chattering and your knees are knocking together! I still aim to strike a balance between coziness and cuteness, as seen here – but when push comes to shove, practicality has to win out, ’cause you know what’s not cute? Frostbite!!

What I’m wearing:

  • Black cashmere Ralph Lauren sweaterdress – a hand-me-down from my high school girlfriend circa 2009
  • Black modal nightgown (layered underneath, for warmth & coverage) – Calvin Klein Sleepwear
  • Black woollen tights
  • Black leather Frye harness boots
  • Black leather vintage Coach Willis bag
  • Navy clitoris-shaped earrings

…and incase you were wondering what it looked like when I went out:

…Here’s a bonus outerwear shot of the same outfit! Additions include:

  • Bright turquoise long goosedown coat – bought from Land’s End several years ago; my friend Casia once told me that this makes me look like I’m wearing a sleeping bag, but it is extremely warm, so it’s worth it!
  • Navy knit cowl – Yokoo (absolutely obsessed, big recommend, it is one of the main things getting me through this winter)
  • Black knit toque with ghost logo – Vaultboy merch

February 10th, 2026

mb and I were celebrating our 8-year collarversary, i.e. 8 years since she first put a collar on me! Our collars have always been blue because it’s a special color in our relationship history, so I always wear blue to celebrate this day.

It was a perfect date night: first, mb took me to dinner at Le Crocodile, the French restaurant in the lobby of the Wythe Hotel, which is where we were staying together when she first collared me. I didn’t realize that’s where we were going, and I practically burst into tears when we got there! Then we went to see the Improvised Shakespeare Company perform. They were transcendent; I laughed so hard I couldn’t breathe. Improv is also very romantic for me and mb, because we’ve both always loved it and we saw some New York improv together on our second date, way back in 2018 💙 Thanks to mb for planning such a beautiful evening for us!

What I’m wearing:

  • Blue crushed velvet dress – Forever 21, many years ago; bought to wear to our first collarversary date, if I recall correctly!
  • Blue cashmere cardigan – Gap
  • Black leggings – Gap
  • Blue metallic Doc Martens
  • Tiffany & Co. dog collar – a gift from my love
  • …& barely visible: a great Agent Provocateur bra, because sometimes cleavage can pull a whole look together 😉

February 13th, 2026

Another wonderful date night with da wifey: we had pizza at Roberta’s and then watched Sinners, which was fantastic. At the pizzeria, they were having a “My Bloody Valentine”-themed party, so lots of the servers had fake blood spattered all over them (which might’ve been marinara sauce, for all I know), and a tattoo artist was doing Valentine-y flash tattoos in the back room. I love Brooklyn.

What I’m wearing:

  • Magic Wand T-shirt – Pen & Kink
  • Black flared jeans – Gap
  • Black leather Frye harness boots
  • Black leather vintage Coach Willis bag
  • New red prescription glasses – Zenni

February 14th, 2026

Valentine’s Day outfit! Y’all know I love to dress in a Valentine-y manner and will take any excuse to do so, so I had fun putting this look together, as ever. I had also just received a new push-up bra in the mail from Victoria’s Secret, which was fortuitous timing 😂

What I’m wearing:

  • Red tank top – gift from my mama
  • Red pencil skirt – American Apparel like a decade ago
  • Black leggings – Gap
  • Red cowboy boots with stars on them – a hand-me-down from my high school girlfriend’s mom in 2008 or so
  • Red suit jacket – borrowed from my wife; it’s part of a suit she had custom-made by Alan David to officiate a wedding (I wish the pants fit me too, ’cause I would’ve just worn the whole suit instead!)

What clothes/outfits have you been loving lately, my darlings?

How I Get Through the Winter with Seasonal Depression

Kate Sloan

Here in Toronto, we’ve just turned back our clocks to mark the end of Daylight Savings Time, and if you’re prone to seasonal depression like I am, you might be worried that those low moods are just around the corner (or are already here). I know I always get a little nervous when the time changes, afraid of the possibility of descending into a black cloud of depression as I have during some previous winters.

However, seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is my oldest mental health diagnosis, so I’ve had over 15 years to hone my methods of getting through the most difficult season. Here are some suggestions I have for other folks who struggle with SAD or who just find that their mood tends to dip when it’s cold and gloomy out.

 

Therapy, meds, etc. If these things help you, or if you think they might, now is a great time to make use of them, or to re-commit to them after some time away. I have a trauma therapist who I speak with every 2 weeks and I’ve been on a daily dose of Wellbutrin for a few years, and both of those things have helped my mood and energy levels immeasurably.

Supplements. Vitamin D is the obvious one, to compensate for the lower levels you might be taking in if you’re spending more time indoors. I also take iron pills because I’m anaemic and they help a lot with my energy, and in the past I’ve sometimes found that 5-HTP helped boost my mood. This is also an especially good time to get some bloodwork done so your doctor can determine whether there are other vitamins and nutrients you could use some more of.

Light therapy. One of the treatments that’s been most conclusively proven to help with seasonal depression is the use of a SAD lamp, and it’s also one of the things that’s personally helped me most, in terms of both energy and mood.

The brand I would most recommend for this is Day-Light: they made my first SAD lamp, which my parents bought me in 2006 and which lasted me for over a decade without even needing to replace the bulbs! I used to keep it on my nightstand so I could blast myself in the face with light immediately upon awaking every day, which helped a lot with the extreme morning grogginess I experience in the winter.

Eventually I upgraded to a newer model, the Day-Light Sky Bright (cute name), and I truly love it. Its body and neck are slim enough that it fits in nicely behind my computer monitor and can shine down on me while I’m working at my desk. I also have a small, travel-sized SAD lamp that I use when I’m staying at my partner’s house. Generally the recommended “dosage” is 30-60 minutes of sitting in front of the light (but not looking directly at it) every morning in the winter, but check with your doctor and read the instructions of your particular lamp to see if their recommendations differ from that.

Stay active, physically and socially. Sure, exercise helps with mood and energy, but I also mean stay socially active if you can – go out, see friends or family, attend events you’re excited about, etc. if you feel able to do so. (I know COVID safety protocols make this tricky, but do your best.) Social connection can work wonders for depression, and while it’s easy for a depressed person to fall into a vicious cycle of thinking no one wants to see you and therefore never trying to see anyone, it’s worth making an effort to stay in touch with your loved ones throughout the winter, even if just via phone calls or Zoom chats. I often find that having plans keeps me more physically active as well because I tend to walk to wherever I’m meeting up with my pal(s).

Stay warm. Related to the above point, I’ve found in some previous years that the thought of going out in the cold was so absolutely despair-generating for me that I often couldn’t even face it. What has helped me most with that problem is buying better winter gear, so that even while I’m trudging through snow on a grey day, I feel relatively cozy. Shearling-lined Bean boots, a goose-down coat and a super-warm knit beanie are all must-haves for me in the winter.

Dress bright. While I’m talking about clothes – I’ve had a loud, bright personal style since I was a kid and I think winter is an especially important time for it. I just can’t be sad (or at least, can’t be as sad) when I’m wearing a dress with a wild, colorful print on it, or blue metallic Doc Martens, or hot pink lipstick with teal eyeshadow. A nice thing about doing this is that you’ll brighten up the days of anyone who sees you, too!

Get excited about something. It’s hugely useful for me to have some kind of “project” or “obsession” that propels me through the winter. Sometimes this has been an old TV show I’ve marathon-watched in its entirety over a month or two and then started reading/writing fanfiction for. Sometimes it’s been working my way through several books by a particular great author, like Oliver Sacks or Stephen King. Sometimes it’s been embarking on a creative project like writing a book, learning to paint, or recording an album at home. Whatever you decide to focus on can be helpful because depression so often saps us of our passions, and that phenomenon can be actively fought against by seeking out new passions and committing to them.

Get your sleep schedule in order. Sleep is vital to our overall functioning, and I find this is especially true when I’m already struggling, whether mentally or physically or both. I always wear a great eye mask to block out light when I sleep, and use a white noise app to play soothing, monotonous sounds that drown out the construction noise and cat-yowling that might otherwise awaken me before I want to be awakened. Some people also find it helpful to take melatonin at night and/or to phase out caffeine.

 

Fellow SAD-sufferers, what helps you most with the bleakness of winter?

Top 5 Winter Sex Saviours

Kate Sloan

If you’re in the northern hemisphere, be very, very afraid: winter is coming!

I don’t know about you, but I truly hate being cold. Not only does it make me miserable, but it tends to suck the libido right out of me – because who wants to shiver uncomfortably throughout an activity that’s supposed to be hot and fun? Not me.

As a girl who lives on the icy third floor of a house in Canada, here are my top tips for keeping warm while having sex in the wintertime.

1. A good duvet. The great thing about duvets is that they work by reflecting your body heat back at you – so actually, I find that they work best when I’m naked! And of course, this effect is doubled if there’s another naked body under the duvet with me. Goose or duck down is standard, and super warm, but if you hate the thought of using an animal for personal gain, they make artificial varieties as well.

2. Socks or slippers. I know, I know. Wearing socks during sex is seen as pretty much the dorkiest thing ever. I don’t give a fuck. Studies show that having cold feet cuts your chances of reaching orgasm, and I’ve found this to be true. Frankly, no one’s looking at my feet during sex anyway!

Socks are extra important when you’re receiving oral sex, because you can’t exactly cover yourself in the duvet and leave your partner to suffocate underneath. My standard trick is to wrap only my upper body in the duvet, and wear warm socks (double- or triple-layered, if necessary). My thighs and calves might get a little chilly, but that’s not a big deal.

3. A space heater. I’m told that these are bad for the environment, because they use a lot of energy, so I do my best to use them sparingly. I’ll turn on my little space heater for about an hour, with the door closed to lock in the heat, and then turn it off to save power. The room stays warm-ish for another couple of hours, and it makes a huge difference.

You can even have sex next to the heater, if you’re really freezing… but be aware that this might dry out your condom, if you’re using one, potentially leading to breakage.

4. Fairy lights, also known as Christmas lights. You know, those ones that you string up on your tree in December? I don’t have strong feelings about Christmas trees, but I do love the lights. They’re dim, sweet, romantic. Even if there’s a snowstorm going on outside, my bedroom feels somehow quaint and welcoming if it’s adorned in fairy lights.

(Even better? Wrap your naked body in a string of lights and wait for your partner to get home!)

5. Massage oil. I’m a fan of sensual massages, either as foreplay or after-play, and I don’t know about you, but massages are more of a winter thing than a summer thing for me.

You can use straight-up massage oil warmed up in your hands, or if you’re reeeeal smooth, you can have a candle or a bowl of warm water at the ready to help you heat the bottle of oil before you use it. The contrast of cool air and a partner’s warm hands is almost too impossibly sexy to handle. And relaxing, too!

What are your favorite tricks for staying sexy in the wintertime?