womanizer

Review: Womanizer Vibe (Womanizer’s First Vibrator!)

Kate Sloan

What is the Womanizer Vibe?

You might know Womanizer as the inventors of pressure-wave technology, which uses rhythmic air pulses to stimulate the clit – or, occasionally, other bits, like the G-spot or even the frenulum of a penis. I reviewed the very first Womanizer back in 2015 and have been following their meteoric rise ever since.

The Vibe is their latest product, and it’s different from anything they’ve done before, because it’s a regular ol’ vibrator, not a pressure-wave toy. Specifically, it’s meant to be a “lay-on” vibrator, meaning that you can lie face-down on top of it, or sit on it, with the tip pressed against your genitals, and then grind against it while it vibrates. (You can use it in other ways, too, but that’s what it’s designed for.)

It’s shaped like your typical Womanizer, but there’s no air nozzle to put on your clit. Instead, there’s a softly pointed tip that’s firm but draped in silicone, which gives it a little squish, similar to the tip of the Dame Kip or We-Vibe Touch.

I’m not much for lay-on vibes in general, but when a big sex toy brand enters a new category, of course I’m gonna be intrigued! So I’ve put the Vibe through its paces and can tell you all about it.

Things I like about the Womanizer Vibe

  • Let it be said: this toy’s vibration is extremely rumbly – by which I mean that its vibrations are low-pitched and satisfying, they stimulate not only the surface of my body but also deeper clitoral structures, and they don’t cause numbness for me like buzzier vibes can. The rumbliness works well whether I’m holding the vibe manually on my clit or grinding against it, even with a fair amount of pressure.
  • This may well be the quietest vibrator I’ve ever used. Ever. Womanizer calls it “noiseless” and “silent,” and I wouldn’t go that far – it’s still a machine, so there’s still some noise involved – but even on the highest speed, I can only hear it at all when it’s less than an arm’s length away from me. Otherwise, it’s inaudible. So, if you’re looking for a super discreet vibrator, I can enthusiastically recommend this one! (It gets louder if you’re grinding against it while it’s pressed against a hard chair, a firm mattress, or similar, but not by much.)
  • The shape of the toy is well-designed for grinding against – as you might expect, since that’s what they made it for! I have a picky clit that prefers to be stimulated through the hood or inner labia, and this toy’s so-called “Pleasure Edges” allow me to line myself up right where it feels the best and grind away. It’s a stark contrast to Womanizer’s pressure-wave toys, which often feel too direct for me. I also love that they covered the whole grindable area of the toy in firm silicone that has just a bit of squish to it – it strikes the right balance between comfort and intensity.
  • Like some other Womanizer toys, this one has an “autopilot mode.” You can activate it by holding down the “~” button for two seconds. When in autopilot, the toy runs through a pre-set vibration program – sort of like a vibration pattern, except longer, more gradual/fluid, and (for me, at least), more enjoyable. I normally don’t like vibration patterns because I find them too jarring and not stimulating enough, but these ones are much more like being teased by an actual human being. And if you find yourself suddenly wanting to take back control of the toy, it’s as easy as pressing down that same button for two seconds again to switch back into manual mode.
  • The overall, uh, hand-feel of this toy is really pleasing. You can tell that these people have done user research and know a thing or two about ergonomics and design. I find this toy comfy to hold, even with my achy hands, and its buttons are placed well for easy access. The silicone is smooth and matte to the touch. It feels sexy in your hand.
  • Speaking of buttons: they’re great. While I wish that I didn’t always have to reach down to press them (more on that below), they are very easy to find by touch alone, because the “+” button is bigger and more raised than the “–” button, and the autopilot button is even smaller and set slightly apart from the first two. I really appreciate the thoughtfulness of this choice and I hope more sex toy companies follow Womanizer’s lead on this one.
  • I haven’t gotten to test it this way yet, but I imagine that the Vibe could work well on (some) penises, if the pointed tip – or the curve just below it – was pressed against the frenulum area, or wherever is most sensitive. It could be gender-affirming for some transfeminine folks to use it, although I still think the Hot Octopuss Pulse and Fun Factory Manta are the best penis vibrators on the market right now.
  • It’s fully waterproof! Yay!

Things I don’t like about the Womanizer Vibe

  • Womanizer has repeatedly emphasized that the Vibe is designed to “avoid overstimulation” and to be less intense than more pinpointed vibrators, and indeed, it’s not as powerful as I wish it was. Even cranked all the way up to the max (10th) speed, I think it’s only about as strong as the first speed (of four) on the Magic Wand Rechargeable, or maybe a little stronger. That being said – as I mentioned before, this vibrator is designed for the user to “lay on” it and grind against it, and it works well for me (i.e. feels good and can get me off) when used in that way. But when I’m just lying on my back and using it like a wand, without moving it against myself at all, it’s not strong enough to get me there.
  • In using the toy as intended (i.e. by lying on it and humping it), I reeeeeally wished it could be controlled via a phone app. It’s annoying to have to reach down between your body and the bed to locate the buttons whenever you want to change the vibration speed. Using the autopilot mode helped a bit with this problem, but sometimes I want more control than that.
  • I got the blue colorway, and while I normally love blue sex toys, this one is a weirdly depressing shade of navyish grey. It’s like the sex toy equivalent of a suit you’d begrudgingly wear to a temp job. But the good news is that it also comes in a springy pale green and a reddish pink.
  • I say this every time I review a Womanizer product, but: I still hate their name. I know changing your company name is a Whole Thing, but dear god, it’s just so bad. Womanizer? Really? In the year of our lord two thousand and twenty-fucking-four? Can we… not?
Size/shape comparison with the Womanizer Next (left) and my beloved Hot Octopuss Pulse Queen (right)

Final thoughts

I’m not a big grinder. Generally I prefer to lie back and let the toy do the work. So, while I may not be the ideal user for the Womanizer Vibe, I’m nonetheless delighted to own one. It’s ultra-rumbly, ultra-quiet, and clearly well-made.

For me, it works best when used as intended. When I’m not in the mood for the physical exertion of humping a vibe, I can still use this toy, but the “lay-on” position is where it really shines. It lacks the sheer power to be stimulating enough as a regular, handheld vibe, unless you’re moving against it – or are quite sensitive.

On that note: you might enjoy the Vibe if you’ve found that typical Womanizer-type toys feel too intense or direct. It allows for a wider variety of approaches and sensations than pressure-wave toys do, and its rumbly vibration is less overwhelming than focused air waves, but the toy is overall shaped very similarly to most Womanizers, so you’ll get all the ergonomic and aesthetic benefits of that.

You should also consider the Vibe if you want a toy that’s basically inaudible – like if you live with family or nosy roommates. And I think it’d make a great gift for beginners to the world of sex toys; it’s understated, easy to use, and starts at a very low speed, so it’s unlikely to intimidate even the newest of newbs.

We need more toys like the Womanizer Vibe in the world: simple, thoughtfully designed, well-made toys that just do what they’re supposed to do. It may not be as flashy as the leopard-print-and-rhinestoned Womanizer I reviewed back in 2015, but it feels a hell of a lot better – and will work for a hell of a lot more people, I suspect.

 

The Womanizer Vibe is available for purchase at:

 

This was not a sponsored review, although Womanizer did gift me the product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: Womanizer OG (A Pressure-Wave Stimulator For Your G-Spot!)

Kate Sloan

Ever since the first Womanizer launched years ago, consumers have had plenty of questions about the pressure-wave technology these toys utilized. How does it work? (It sends out rhythmic pulses of air to create a tapping/sucking sensation on the external clit.) Does it feel better than vibration? (Not “better,” exactly, but different, and some people might like it more.) Are pricey pressure-wave toys worth the money? (Possibly, but you’re better off trying a cheaper one initially to see if you like it.)

Another question that’s often been asked about these toys is: Can this technology be used to stimulate areas other than the clit?

The company that originated the technology proved that indeed it can be used for other purposes when they developed the Arcwave, a pressure-wave toy for dicks that focuses on the frenulum. But now, they’ve expanded the scope of their offerings and launched the Womanizer OG, a toy that uses pressure-waves on your G-spot. Is it any good? Let’s talk about it.

 

Things I like about the Womanizer OG

  • The OG combines pressure-waves with vibration, which has always been a pretty successful combination when Womanizer’s attempted it before, and is successful here too. They feel good together, though I have some concerns about the fact that they can’t be used separately from one another (more on that below).
  • On that note, the vibration quality is exactly what my G-spot tends to crave: deep and rumbly, no matter which of the three vibration intensities you’re on. This makes it less likely to activate an annoying or painful “need-to-pee” feeling when I press it against my G-spot, and makes blended orgasms easier to achieve.
  • The “mouth” of the toy has been expanded from Womanizers’ typical clit-sized dimensions; it’s longer, wider, and flatter, so as to stimulate your G-spot better. This could also potentially make it better for folks with bigger clits who want a pressure-wave toy they can use either internally or externally (the manual recommends warming up by using the OG on your clit before using it internally).
  • The curve of the toy’s body is well-designed: it’s ergonomic to hold, and to thrust with, but (at least for my particular anatomy) the handle doesn’t get in the way of my clit too much and I can still use a clitoral vibe or touch my clit with my fingers while the OG is inside me.
  • The OG has “Smart Silence,” a feature where the toy shuts off when you move it away from your skin and starts up again when you make contact. This isn’t super relevant for a G-spot toy because it’s (presumably) going to be inside you most of the time that you’re using it, but it’s nice if, for example, you need to suddenly pull the toy out of you and go answer the door for the mail delivery person or something, and don’t have time to hold down the “off” button for a few seconds. Also, Smart Silence can be turned off if you don’t like it.
  • The toy also has an “Afterglow” feature where, if you press the “minus” button for one second, the toy jumps back down to its lowest intensity. This feature is intended to prevent painful overstimulation that can happen during and after orgasm.
  • The manual and promotional materials for the OG are all very clear on two key points: that the G-spot is more of a G-zone, and that clitoral stimulation is crucial for most vagina-owners even if their G-spot is being stimulated well. I genuinely appreciate sex toy companies who provide accurate information to their consumers, instead of constantly hyping up their product’s virtues at the risk of making some users feel “broken” for not experiencing the toy as instantaneously orgasmic.
  • It comes in a few not-especially-gendered colors. The “slate” shade is your best bet if you loathe traditional sex toy pinks and purples.
  • The silicone covering the toy is smooth, soft, and plays well with water-based lube.
  • Like most pressure-wave toys these days, the OG is waterproof, so you can take it in the shower or bath and don’t need to worry you’ll ruin it while washing it.

Things I don’t like about the Womanizer OG

  • Most annoyingly for me, you can’t use the pressure-waves separately from the vibration – and I actually wonder if this was done on purpose, to mask the relative ineffectiveness of pressure-waves on the G-spot. I can’t feel much when the toy is in use aside from the vibration, which (don’t get me wrong) feels good, but isn’t exactly a revolutionary sensation. I asked Womanizer about this and they said the pressure-waves and vibration “are always simultaneous, but if you want to focus on one feature more than the other, you can turn it down to the lowest level,” and indeed, there are three different vibration settings which can be controlled separately from the intensity of the pressure-waves. But there’s no way to turn the vibrations off altogether, and even on the lowest level, the pressure-waves feel drowned out by vibration so I can’t give a definitive statement on whether they actually feel good alone.
  • The OG retails for $199–219 (depending on where you get it from) and I find that price hard to justify, given that – to my seasoned vagina, anyhow – it doesn’t feel that different from a great G-spot vibrator like the Lelo Mona 2 ($169), Swan Wand ($116) or We-Vibe Rave ($113). I understand that the pressure-wave technology must be more expensive to implement, but if it’s barely discernible over the vibrations then I’m not sure it was worth implementing, or that it’s worth paying extra for.
  • The phrase “simultaneous stimulation” is used a lot in the marketing for the OG, which – in conjunction with its almost C-shaped body – might make some consumers think it can stimulate your G-spot and your clit at the same time, which it can’t (or at least can’t do well). The “simultaneous stimulation” being referred to is the vibration and pressure-waves being applied simultaneously to your G-spot.
  • The marketing copy also says that the toy is “flexible,” allowing for “a comfortable, custom fit,” but it is not. I can bend it maybe half an inch, if that, before it starts to feel like I might snap it in half if I push harder. That’s enough flex to potentially make it more comfortable to thrust in and out, but since a lot of people’s G-spots prefer firm, steady pressure, I’m not sure flexibility was a good choice for this toy anyway.
  • The manual notes, “Smart Silence may not work when the stimulation head is wet. Therefore, please make sure not to apply lube into the Pleasure Air head.” This is baffling to me. If you’re designing a toy specifically to go into the vagina, all of its features should work regardless of how wet it gets – and if that’s not possible, that feature shouldn’t be offered on that toy.
  • The big, wide mouth is hard to clean, and inevitably gets caked with vag gunk in short order. This isn’t a detriment operationally because the toy is waterproof and will keep chugging away regardless of how much cum gets into it (except for the Smart Silence feature, as described above), but you will need to have some kind of scrub brush on hand when you wash it after use (an old toothbrush works great) and it can be hard to tell if you’ve actually cleaned it thoroughly or not.
  • Speaking of the toy’s mouth, it’s not well-shaped for clitoral stimulation (at least for my clit, which I’d say is on the larger end of average but not large-large), so despite what the toy’s manual recommends, I haven’t been able to get myself turned on for an OG session by first using it on my clit. It just doesn’t form a seal the way normal clitoral Womanizers do for me, so the stimulation is almost imperceptible.
  • The name is bad. “Womanizer” in itself is still a pretty shitty brand name, and “OG” (presumably a reference to “original gangster,” yikes) doesn’t make sense as a name because usually it means that something is “the original,” the first iteration of itself, whereas the OG is a much-evolved pressure-wave toy that bears little resemblance to the first Womanizers. But I’m a pedant, so.

Final thoughts

Don’t get me wrong: I can orgasm easily and consistently with the Womanizer OG, when it’s paired with a clitoral vibe. If you like G-spot vibrators, or have reason to believe you might, then you’d probably like the OG.

The problem is, I just don’t think it feels different enough from any other good-quality G-spot vibrator to warrant its hype and high price tag. Or maybe my G-spot just isn’t sensitive enough to detect a difference – but if that’s the case, I imagine that’s true of most people’s G-spots, since that area isn’t nearly as enervated as the external clitoris to begin with.

As with the Arcwave, I have to commend Womanizer for taking a big risk on a new and innovative way of utilizing pressure-waves, but I’m just not sure it works as well as they hoped. If they choose to make more pressure-wave G-spot toys in the future, I hope they’re able to focus on the pressure-waves themselves, not just vibrations, so that users can actually feel the fancy technology they’re splurging on.

If you want a fantastic Womanizer, get the Premium 2 and put it on your clit. If you want an excellent G-spot vibrator, get a Lelo Mona 2. If you want to feel pressure-waves on your G-spot and have some cash to spend, feel free to give the OG a shot – but I’m hopeful that this isn’t the last we’ll hear about G-spot pressure-waves, and that future iterations will emphasize the pleasures of pressure-waves instead of overpowering them with vibration, rumbly and pleasurable though it may be.

 

Thanks to Womanizer for sending me this toy to try! They didn’t pay me to write this review. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: Womanizer Liberty by Lily Allen

Kate Sloan

If you were following along with new developments in the sex toy industry back when the first Womanizer model launched, then you know that these toys had an ugly start. Literally.

The tragically-named company was bringing an exciting new technology to the market – pressure-wave stimulation, i.e. making clits feel good with rhythmic pulses of air – but they had made a grave miscalculation (in my view) by festooning their new toys in cartoonish leopard print and over-the-top rhinestones. The product itself was giving folks with vulvas a whole different type of stimulation than they were used to, so Womanizer could’ve gone with a much less gaudy aesthetic and still intrigued consumers around the globe. And yet, they went with designs so garish that I was frankly kind of embarrassed when friends spotted the toy on my nightstand. (As you can imagine, in my line of work, that situation doesn’t usually embarrass me…)

I say this not to retroactively shame Womanizer, but to say that I really appreciate the aesthetic direction the brand has taken over the past few years, particularly since they were acquired by We-Vibe. Their current lineup is sleek and sophisticated-looking. If you love leopard print, perhaps you’re crestfallen (I can appreciate it too, just not on a sex toy), but I’m delighted that consumers can access pressure-wave toys now without their friends and lovers making comments such as, “Did an Elvis impersonator in Vegas throw that at you from the stage?” or “Liberace called; he wants his vibrator back.”

The most recent addition to my Womanizer collection, sent to me by the lovely folks at XOXTOYS, is the Womanizer Liberty by Lily Allen, a special-edition toy co-designed by the British singer/songwriter whose name it bears. Prior to trying this toy, the only other thing I knew about Lily Allen was that she did a song called “Alfie” that I liked (I think it was even my ringtone for a while in middle school). I’m not quite sure to what extent she was actually involved in the design process for this toy, but I imagine that she at least picked the colors, and they’re good ones: a very 1960s juxtaposition of hot pink and bright orange. I actually love this color combo and find it uplifting to see this toy on my nightstand.

Another aesthetic thing I like about the Lily Allen Womanizer is that it comes with a matching “travel cover,” a piece of curvy hard plastic that the Womanizer slots into perfectly, so that it’ll be protected from dirt, dust and damage in your purse or suitcase, and also won’t be immediately recognizable as a sex toy to any nosy relative or TSA agent who happens to spot it.

In terms of what the toy actually does, though… This Womanizer has six intensity levels and no patterns, which I respect. I’m not a patterns person, but if you are, this isn’t the toy for you.

I don’t always love reviewing pressure-wave toys, because I find the differences between them more subtle and difficult to discern than the differences between vibrators or dildos. But this Womanizer actually feels markedly different from most other pressure-wave toys I’ve tried. It feels… thumpier? Stronger? Sharper? More aggressive? There’s an intensity to the sensation that I don’t often run across in these toys. It feels like someone is firmly tapping against my clit.

I imagine that this intensity is what makes the Womanizer Liberty such a hit with so many online reviewers. For me, it’s a bit hit-or-miss. My clit enjoys the first couple of modes, but after that, the jumps between settings start to feel a bit wide for my preferences. Things’ll be feeling good, and then I’ll hit the “+” button and be jarred out of the moment a little bit by how much more insistent the stimulation suddenly gets.

The thing is, sometimes that’s an unwelcome sensation for me, but other times, there’s a bit of forced-orgasm hotness to it – like a dom is holding a slightly-too-strong vibrator against my bits and trying to (consensually) induce a climax in me whether I like it or not.

And indeed, I have orgasmed several times with this toy. I will say, it’s a bit more hard-won than with some other toys, because I’m constantly engaged in a dance of turning up the toy when I want more and then turning it back down when I want less, until I finally reach orgasm. But frankly, I prefer that over some other pressure-wave toys that are so depressingly weak that they have no hope of getting me off. There’s never any doubt in my mind that the Womanizer Liberty by Lily Allen is gonna get me there, although it might take a while.

Perhaps my favorite feature of this toy is the buttons. There was a night recently when I was trying to sleep but kept having intrusive sexual fantasies about receiving oral (what else is new), so I decided to quickly jerk off so that hopefully I could get some shut-eye. Literally without removing my eye mask, I was able to reach over, grab this Womanizer, position it on my bits and turn it on. It only has two buttons, a “plus” one and a “minus” one, and the “plus” one is significantly larger. This makes it shockingly easy to operate this toy in the dark, even while half-asleep or intoxicated (trust me, I’d know).

This Womanizer is one of the more powerful pressure-wave toys I’ve tried, despite its small size. It’s also definitely the most travel-friendly of any I’ve used. It doesn’t stimulate as much of my clitoral shaft as the Lelo Sila – so if you have a larger clit, or are a transmasculine person with bottom growth, this may not be the one for you. It doesn’t have fancy patterns and modes, like the Womanizer Premium does.

But it’s probably the prettiest pressure-wave toy I own, at least for my particular aesthetic tastes, and it’s also one of the quietest and most discreet toys in their lineup. Whether or not you’re a Lily Allen fan, I think you stand a good chance of enjoying the Womanizer Liberty by Lily Allen. This sex toy company has had some failures and some successes, and I think this toy is firmly in the “successes” pile, even if it’s not my favorite ever.

 

Thanks to the folks at XOXTOYS for sending me this toy! This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of the product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Behind the Seams: Extra-Long Jam-Packed Edition

Kate Sloan

September 28, 2021

My mom’s birthday was just days after my book’s release day, and I had to travel to New York to do the launch event, so I wanted to take her out for a special one-on-one meal before I left to make it up to her.

We went to Mezes, a fabulous restaurant in Toronto’s Greektown area. My family and I lived in Greektown for about 25 years, so Greek food was a big part of my childhood and always feels nostalgic to me. Chicken souvlaki skewers with tzatziki, a Greek salad heaped high with feta, and some roasted potatoes = possibly the ideal meal. (I’m clutching my leftovers in a to-go box in one of these photos – can’t let any of it go to waste!)

My mom has a fun, girly sense of style so I usually like to dress cute when I hang out with her. She looked cute as hell too!

What I’m wearing:

• Pink cashmere sweater – J. Crew
• Black T-shirt underneath (unseen)
• Black bandage skirt – Suzy Shier
• Black leggings – H&M
• Pink metallic cowboy boots – Jeffrey Campbell
• Raspberry-pink crossbody bag – Coach
• Black KN95 mask (these have become my absolute faves for my everyday pandemic needs; a good nose wire is crucial for someone with a formidable schnoz like mine)

October 3, 2021

Matt picked this outfit for me for a date night involving incredible omakase sushi followed by a stand-up comedy show at the Beauty Bar. A friend-of-a-friend was performing and we wanted to support them.

It’s a really wild venue – like a dive bar decorated by rockabilly drag queens. But the bartenders were friendly, the atmosphere was good, and the show was delightful.

Matt and I were wearing matching outfits, and we sat in the front row as we often do, so pretty much every comedian on the bill made a joke or two about our matchy-matchy vibes. The hazards of sitting in the front row, am I right?! (I’m kidding – it was all in good fun.)

What I’m wearing:

• Orange skater dress – American Apparel, vintage via eBay
• Black cashmere cardigan – the Gap
• Black leggings – H&M
• Black leather harness boots – Frye
• Key to Matt’s chastity cage on a chain
• Raspberry-pink crossbody bag – Coach

October 12, 2021

This was what I wore on my book‘s release day! I spent most of the day frantically posting things about it on social media, answering questions about it, etc. and also recorded an episode of the Bed Post podcast with the inimitable Erin Pim.

The actual book launch party wasn’t until the following day, so I had RSVPed “yes” to a party being thrown by the sex toy brand Womanizer at the Jimmy, a beautiful rooftop bar. The company was celebrating its seventh birthday by inviting a bunch of sex media VIPs to mingle over cocktails and hors d’oeuvres. I get invited to this type of event semi-regularly but often have to decline because of geography (i.e. not always being in NYC or LA) or health (i.e. being chronically ill and sleepy as fuck), so it was fun to actually get to go to one!

At the party, Matt and I sipped martinis and chatted with several New York media people. I had a copy of my book in my bag and Matt kept finding excuses to show it to people and brag about me 🥰

The brand very generously sent us home with (among other things) an Arcwave Ion, which Matt had been dying to try. If you’re curious and want a preview of what my eventual review will say, listen to the latest Dildorks Patreon bonus episode!

What I’m wearing:

• Green velvet dress – H&M
• Black cashmere cardigan – the Gap
• Black leggings – H&M
• Key to Matt’s chastity cage on a chain
• Coach Station crossbody bag – vintage on eBay many moons ago

October 13, 2021

In pondering what I might want to wear to my book launch party, I scoured online stores for dresses in the colors of the book cover, black and gold… but eventually I remembered that I already had a dress in those colors! This beaut was a gift from my cousin and his girlfriend a couple Christmases ago and it was perfect for the occasion: classy, sparkly, and pretty.

The launch itself was soooo much fun! I will eventually write a whole post about it once I get the photos back from our photographer that evening, Ashe. I read some passages aloud from the book, did some kinky demos with Matt and Bex, and sold + signed copies afterward. There were tons of fascinating, lovely people there, all of whom I was so honored had come to my little event. Thanks so much to Matt, Bex, Ashe, and the KGB Bar for helping me put the whole thing together!

Also, doesn’t Matt look stunning?! Navy velvet is so perf on them.

What I’m wearing:

• Black & gold dress – gift
• Black tights – Hue
• Black leather harness boots – Frye
• Sparkly red heart necklace – Tarina Tarantino (at one point during the evening this was removed from my neck so Matt could use it as a pendulum for our hypnosis demo – it’s a multi-use item!)

October 16, 2021

October is “Locktober” in the chastity community – many chastity kinksters get locked up for the entire month (with breaks as needed for hygiene and maintenance etc.), often also blogging/posting about their experiences. This year was Matt and I’s second time doing it. It wasn’t always easy, particularly since dominance requires more energy from me than I generally have these days, and I was dealing with work stress (i.e. my book launch) on top of some health issues, so I wasn’t able to be as responsible and focused a dominant as I would have liked. But it was still a fun opportunity to try new things, gain confidence in domination, and assign cute tasks to my partner that make us both happy.

Some of those tasks were related to financial domination, i.e. consensually “forcing” them to buy me things. One night, when they had given me the green light for findom, I gave them a slow, teasing handjob to almost the point of orgasm and then informed them that they’d have to buy me this bag if they wanted to be allowed to come. (I’d had my eye on it for quite a while…) Naturally, they succumbed, so now, the bag is mine! *maniacal domme laughter*

I wore this out to Rocco’s Steakhouse for dinner. Their service is always impeccable and their food is A+. Would recommend.

What I’m wearing:

• Red dress – Winners years ago
• Black leather jacket – Danier Leather
• Black leather harness boots – Frye
• Pink chevron-stitched Coach Rogue bag – vintage via eBay, a gift from my love (the all-black version is also gorg)

October 17, 2021

My partner and I have had many, many, many conversations about gender – which makes sense, given that they’re nonbinary, we’re both bisexual, and I write about sex/kink/love/gender issues for a living. We were recently discussing our gender expressions and whether we feel like they fully reflect our gender identities, and I said that I’m comfy presenting as a mega-femme like 95% of the time but there is another 5% of the time when I crave dressing like a dirtbag teenage boy, basically. Matt told me that they would still find me attractive AF if I leaned more into that side of my style, and while I knew that, it was still good to hear.

This was my first time wearing a new pair of jeans I’d just bought at Madewell. It was an experiment in boyishness for an outing to a casual local omakase place. I think the experiment was very successful!

What I’m wearing:

• Dark blue T-shirt – Forever 21
• Tapered vintage-wash high-rise jeans – Madewell
• Black leather harness boots – Frye
• Coach Station crossbody bag – vintage on eBay
• Key to Matt’s chastity cage on a chain
• “101 Kinky Things” snapback hat – custom-made on Printful.com

October 24, 2021

Every so often, when I’m in New York, I like to check out the Museum of Sex to see what they’re up to. They were recently running a Betty Dodson exhibit, and Betty is a legend in the realm of sex-positive feminism, so I knew I had to check it out.

Matt and I went together and spent a few hours perusing the entire exhibit as well as the others on offer. We saw so many things: vulva paintings, robots fucking, up-close masturbation videos, cunnilingus sketches, a Whack-a-Mole-esque game involving jerking off dildos in a fake bathroom stall, and lots more. Should you ever find yourself in New York, I would recommend putting the Museum of Sex on your itinerary, if just because the sex shop in their lobby is as well-curated as the museum itself!

What I’m wearing:

• Purple “The Morning After” T-shirt – Threadless (I am normally somewhat squicked by both vomit and clowns but for some reason this shirt fills me with glee)
• High-rise jeans – Madewell
• Black leather jacket – Danier Leather
• Black leather harness boots – Frye
• Coach Station crossbody bag – vintage on eBay
• Key to Matt’s chastity cage on a chain
• Apple Watch on a rainbow striped band

October 29, 2021

I was feeling truly uninspired when trying to come up with a Halloween costume (I mean, I’m in my late 20s during a pandemic, so maybe that’s par for the course). But I had recently re-watched The Notorious Bettie Page, a perennially inspiring biopic of the late great pinup model, and had felt (as I always do when I watch that movie) a pang of desire to cut my hair into her signature style. I just don’t have the energy to iron my bangs pin-straight on a daily basis, though, so I figured it made more sense to dress as her for Halloween.

Bettie doesn’t really have a signature outfit, per se – her most famous photos show her in everything from lingerie to bikinis to fetishwear to leopard-print bodysuits. So I decided to keep it classic and wear the type of sexy black dress she would’ve worn, paired with some period-appropriate heels and, of course, this terrific wig. I don’t know if anyone really knew who I was at the house party we went to, but whatever, I felt and looked cute as hell!

What I’m wearing:

• Bettie Page wig – a brand called Difei on Amazon (it came with a wig cap and a pair of false lashes!)
• Black wiggle dress – Grace Karin (the same brand that made my wedding dress, incidentally)
• Black mary-jane pumps – J. Adams (surprisingly comfortable)

Review: Womanizer Premium

Kate Sloan

If toys like the Womanizer are meant to replicate cunnilingus – which is a subject of some debate in the industry – then I don’t think the technology is quite there yet. However, the luxe Womanizer Premium is one of the better options in its category, due to a number of innovations it introduces, even if it doesn’t quite scratch the right itch when I’m craving oral sex.

The folks at Lovehoney let me pick a toy to review for them, and I asked for the Womanizer Premium because I’ve had my eye on it ever since it launched. Available in a sophisticated navy blue (which I chose) amongst other shades, and boasting a sleek, ergonomic shape, this is certainly one of the most aesthetically pleasing Womanizers out there. (That may not be saying much, considering that the first Womanizer was leopard-print and rhinestoned, but still.) At $200, it’s one of the priciest pressure-wave toys I’ve ever seen – and aesthetically, I can see how it’s worthy of that price point. But what about how it actually feels?

Admittedly, a different toy – the Lelo Sila – instantly became my favorite pressure-wave toy when I first tried it, and it has remained so, for one key reason: its nozzle (or “mouth,” if you prefer) is big enough to stimulate my entire clitoral shaft, instead of just the hyper-sensitive tip of my clit. I have yet to find ANY other toy that does this, and I must have tried dozens at this point. (The closest I’ve found so far is the Satisfyer Curvy 2, which I would recommend if you want clit shaft stimulation but can’t afford Lelo’s pricey wares.) I don’t even have a particularly big clit, but most pressure-wave toys’ nozzles (including that of the Womanizer Premium) feel too small for my purposes, because I don’t want a ton of stimulation focused on the head of my clit. I know I’m not alone in this, because readers of mine have expressed similar sentiments. Why are more companies not meeting this need?

The Womanizer Premium even comes with two different nozzles, so you can theoretically swap between them for different sensations – but for me, they feel pretty much identical, and neither of them does the thing I actually want this type of toy to be able to do. The pressure waves in this one are on the rumblier side, so they do stimulate my internal clit to some extent, even if indirectly – but I still miss the way the Sila basically deepthroats my clit, rumbling its whole external length through my clitoral hood and inner labia.

But that’s a matter of personal taste. People who like direct, pinpoint clit stimulation would likely enjoy this toy, because it’s well-made and highly intuitive. It has 12 different intensity levels; I usually stay within the first 3-4 because they are plenty powerful enough for me. It also has a much-talked-about “autopilot mode” which allows you to lie back and let the toy decide when to change the intensity. As my friend Rae noted in their review, this mode feels much more like having actual partnered sex than a lot of other sex toys do. Unlike standard vibration patterns, the Womanizer’s autopilot mode takes its sweet time, transitioning smoothly between intensities like a partner who is paying attention to the hills and valleys of your sexual response. That said, the Womanizer isn’t actually paying attention to your body in that way, so sometimes this mode gets out of step with where I actually am in my arousal process. When that happens, though, I can just hit one button and I’ll be back in the standard choose-your-own-speed mode.

The buttons are one of the best things about this toy, actually. Specifically, the “+” button. Although the controls are positioned on the back of the toy where they can be hard to see during use, the “+” and “–” buttons are raised, and are noticeably different sizes from one another, so I can always turn the toy’s intensity up in a hurry when I need to, even in the dark. I love this feature!

I like that this Womanizer is shaped well for hands-free usage. In fact, as I write this, it is currently sandwiched between my thighs, and is maintaining a good seal around my clit without requiring much thigh pressure. I like to use it this way while I’m watching porn or reading erotica, especially in the bath (it’s waterproof), where being underwater seems to intensify the suction created by the air waves.

The “Smart Silence” feature first used in We-Vibe toys has been employed here too. It causes the toy to temporarily turn off whenever you lift it away from your body, resuming its stimulation once you press it to your clit again. I thought this feature would be annoying and finicky as it is in some We-Vibe toys, but they seem to have fixed it in the Womanizer Premium; it doesn’t tend to turn off when I want it to be on, though it occasionally does turn on when I want it to be off (such as when its nozzle brushes against the bedsheets when I set it aside for a moment to adjust my pillows or pick a different porn clip). You can also turn off this feature if you prefer. I’ve left it on, because I like that it saves battery power and also renders the toy nearly silent, since – as with most pressure-wave toys, and indeed most people – this one makes noise when there’s nothing in its “mouth” but quiets down significantly once it’s put to use.

The Womanizer Premium is shaped in such a way that it’d work great during PIV/intercourse. It’s flat-ish and ergonomic, and thus fits between bodies comfortably. However, the tip of the toy does extend a little over an inch past the end of the nozzle, which – depending on the distance between your clit and your vaginal opening – might be enough to make penetration difficult. I would likely reach for a more petite toy if I wanted pressure waves on my clit during PIV.

The Premium charges magnetically, is fully waterproof, and comes with a 5-year warranty. It’s perhaps the fanciest, nicest pressure-wave toy I’ve ever tried – but the size of its nozzle makes it not-quite-perfect for my body, because it does the clitoral equivalent of flicking a tongue against the head of a penis while forgetting that the shaft and balls exist. But hey, if you’re into that, you’d probably dig this gorgeous (albeit expensive) pleasure object.

 

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the Womanizer Premium to review!