I feel so differently about Valentine’s Day now than I did when I was a surly, chronically-single teen, scrawling angrily in my journal about “Hallmark holidays” and “romance ruined by capitalism.” The truth is, yes, Valentine’s Day makes a killing for big companies every year, and yes, celebrating it is in some sense celebrating a capitalistic construction. But that doesn’t mean it has no value, no upsides.
I view it as a time to celebrate love – all the types of love one experiences in one’s life – and also, possibly, to support independent creators and shops who sell wares that your sweeties might appreciate.
Here are some products I genuinely think are great – and I hope that if you buy them for yourself or a loved one, that they bring incalculable joy and pleasure into your life!
Clitoral Toys
I know I mention this toy in almost every product recommendations round-up I do, but the We-Vibe Tango X ($76) is really one of the best clitoral vibrators on the market right now. Strong, rumbly, body-safe, waterproof, rechargeable, travel-friendly, multiple speeds and patterns, intuitive controls, seamlessly incorporated into partnered sex or solo sex… If your partner loves clitoral stimulation and wants a vibrator but isn’t sure what to get, this is the one I’d recommend, hands-down.
The We-Vibe Touch X ($95) is also a good option, although it is made of silicone so the vibrations are somewhat softened. It would be a better choice than the Tango for someone who is easily overstimulated, experiences vulva pain, and/or would like a vibe they can lie on top of and grind against.
If you or your partner have been curious about the newfangled sensations of pressure-wave stimulators, I think one of the best ones to try is the Satisfyer Pro 2 +Vibration ($50). It’s powerful, waterproof, boasts a broad range of speeds, and has a softer and less angular “mouth” than many other pressure-wave toys at this price point, making for more comfortable usage.
Penis Toys
I keep hearing good things about the Lovense Gush ($99), a vibrator that wraps around the head of the penis for potentially hands-free stimulation. The ribbed texture on the inside would work well for standard “stroking up and down” masturbation as well. And, like everything Lovense, this one is controllable from a distance using their excellent smartphone app, so it’s perfect for long-distance sweeties, or folks who just want more fine-tuned control over their vibrator than its buttons alone can offer.
Want a stroker but don’t know what to get? The Fleshlight Quickshot ($32) is one of the best options. Although it’s designed by the biggest name in the stroker biz, it’s much cheaper than your typical Fleshlight because it’s smaller and open-ended, allowing you to combine it with oral sex and various other things if you want to. Or you can just use it solo – its rippled texture is just as fantastic as any other Fleshlight product.
Anal Toys
Know an LGBTQ+ cutie who has some butt-stuff experience and might enjoy having a new plug to play with? The NS Novelties Rainbow Pleasure Plug ($29) is adorable, gay AF, and made of body-safe silicone. We’re here, we’re queer, put stuff in our butts!
The 1.5″ diameter of the Hole Punch Toys silicone butt plug ($22) makes it manageable for intermediate and expert anal-play fans, or for ambitious beginners who do some warm-up first. I love the shape of this one – it feels comfortable and stimulating in equal measure, which is exactly what I want from a butt plug.
Is your sweetheart curious about anal play and also a fan of femme aesthetics? The Icicles no. 48 pink glass butt plug ($24) has a little flower as its base, which is positively adorable! Its 1.25″ diameter should make it accessible for even butt-stuff newbies.
I love these bisexual pride butt plugs ($53 for a set of 3 in graduated sizes). Get ’em for a bi person in your life who wants to work their way up to larger anal penetration.
Dildos
If you’ve never dabbled in dual-density silicone before, I think the Vixen Creations Raquel ($99) is a great place to start. This gorgeous pink dildo has a squishy head that feels almost cloudlike against my G-spot, massaging it without overloading it.
The Vixen Creations Woody ($70) would be a fantastic strap-on cock if you’re into that, and would work just as well for solo penetration. It’s the same shape as the Vixen Mustang, which I love, but is single-density silicone instead – which means it’s cheaper, and can hit your internal spots more firmly. I love the red hue, and the fact that it comes with a little bullet vibe that you can insert into the hole in the base for some extra sensation.
Want something with a lot of texture, to stimulate those vaginal or anal walls on every thrust? The Uberrime Bound 2.0 ($65) has cool rope-like details all over it. This dildo would pair so well with a rope bondage scene!
If your partner (or friend) is fond of mega-intense G-spot or prostate stimulation, consider getting them an Njoy Pure Wand ($110). The unrelenting steel truly feels like nothing else, and in my experience it induces squirting with aplomb!
New & Hot
Someone who always likes to have the latest and greatest stuff might appreciate the SnailVibe ($150), a dual-stimulation vibrator with a unique design that allows it to “unfurl” and “re-furl” on every thrust, so that its external portion always maintains contact with your clit. It’s best for someone who likes deep penetration combined with clitoral stimulation. It’s also fully waterproof – lovely for bathtub wanks!
The Love Hamma ($115) has been getting a lot of attention on TikTok and Twitter lately, and for good reason: it’s a vibrator shaped like a hammer! It also thrusts, in addition to vibrating. The reviews I’ve seen have been middling, but if you know someone who needs a hammer vibrator, well… there you go. (I’m picturing, like, a Rosie the Riveter-style home-improvement butch who wants to kick back after a long day of carpentry with a hot bath and a hot masturbation session. BRB, fanning myself.)
Cheap Treats
Need an inexpensive dildo? One of my faves to recommend is the Funkit Toys NoFrilldo ($24!!). This one is designed to hit the G-spot with its perfectly-placed ridges, while its shaft fills you up and presses deliciously against the vaginal walls. If you know you love texture, the all-ribbed version ($35) might be right up your alley. Funkit Toys is a small independent company run by one excellent queer human, Kenton, who is well worth supporting with your Valentine’s dollars.
My favorite Kegel balls, the Lelo Luna Beads Noir, are on sale for $39 at SheVibe right now. While you could use them as a vaginal counterweight for your Kegel exercises, my favorite ways to use them are to wear them while I’m out and about, for secret surreptitious sensations, or to keep them in during a spanking, so I can feel the full glory of their jostling with every hit.
The ingenious Funkit Toys Cashew Nib plug ($39) is designed to work equally well as a butt plug or a vaginal plug, providing effortless stimulation to your internal erogenous zones so your hands are free to do other stuff. It also has a suction-cup base, so you can attach it to your floor or wall if you’d rather bounce up and down on it.