Review: Standard Glass S-Curve

Never buy someone a sex toy they haven’t specifically requested. You can’t know what someone’s tastes in toys are. You can’t know what will work for someone else’s body. It’s always better to buy them a gift card, or take them shopping, and let them pick out a toy for themselves.

Unless you’re my best friend Bex, in which case you can disregard everything I just said, apparently.

During my last visit to New York, Bex presented me with a handmade S-Curve dildo by Standard Glass. “It’s your favorite shade of turquoise,” they said, “and it’ll hit your A-spot!” I was stunned. It was a gorgeous, thoughtful gift – the kind of toy I would have picked out for myself. How did I get so lucky to have a friend as good as Bex?

We were hanging out with my FWB, with whom I had a sex-date planned for the following day. “You should fuck me with this,” I chirped at him. But he’s a Responsible Adult so he just nervously eyed the hard tile floor we were standing on and said, “Please don’t drop that.” I slipped the toy back into its gift bag to appease him: “Okay, dad.”

The next night, at the hotel we’d booked, I broke out the S-Curve. “So how does this work?” my fuckpal asked, and I shrugged and said, “I don’t know! Let’s find out!” He lubed the long, smooth end of it and slid it into me, curve facing up to access my A-spot. Moans spouted from my mouth immediately. Oh, yes.

As its name suggests, the S-Curve has a gentle sloping “S” shape. Many of my favorite toys do, in fact; I definitely have a “type” when it comes to dildos. The formidable metal Njoy Eleven, the heroically G-spotty NobEssence Seduction, and my beloved Fucking Sculptures Double Trouble all have this basic shape in common. What can I say? I know what I like.

The S-Curve’s similarities to the Double Trouble are all the qualities I love about it. It’s long enough, and has a subtle enough curve, that it can get all up in my A-spot without bothering my cervix. (It can also hit my G-spot if I thrust it more shallowly, though I usually don’t.) Like another S-shaped glass toy I love, the Fucking Sculptures G-Spoon, the S-Curve’s meager 1.25″ diameter is roughly equivalent to the size of two fingers – i.e. the exact number of fingers I request and enjoy most when partners are fingerbanging me – so it hits my spot brilliantly and I can fantasize about partners fingering me to my heart’s content when I use it.

My FWB calls the S-Curve “the Double Trouble on easy mode,” and for my intents and purposes, it is. It goes for my A-spot with the same precision and deftness, but because it’s slimmer, lighter, and has that bloopy end, it’s much easier to hold onto and thrust with. If I’m craving a side order of girth with my A-spot stim, I’ll still reach for the Dub Trubz – but if all I want is targeted stimulation of one particular internal spot, it gets the job done perfectly.

All S-Curves, while handmade, are basically the same dimensions – 8″ long and 1.25″ wide. It is a glass masterpiece, a beauteous work of art. I don’t need my sex toys to be beautiful, because I don’t spend a lot of time actually looking at them while I’m using them, but it’s nonetheless nice to have something so elegant-looking on my nightstand.

Bex is still the only person on earth I would trust to choose a sex toy for me. They knocked this one out of the fuckin’ park.

 

You can buy the S-Curve at Come As You Are for $120 CAD (that’s about $90 USD!).

Review: Godemiche Ambit

a pink glittery dildo!

The concept of penis envy has always mystified me. I have penis curiosity, sure. Penis intrigue. If someone offered me an hour in an alternate universe wherein I would have a dick and could receive a blowjob from, say, Olivia Wilde circa 2004, I would not say no. But I have never actively longed for a penis. At least, not one attached to me.

But the concept of a “femme cock” nonetheless stirred my interest. I’d read Artemisia and Melissa Broder rhapsodize the power of wielding a girly member. I kept an eye out for that perfect harness-and-dildo combo that would let me feel feminine as hell while strapping on. I cooed over harnesses by Velvet Nest and Tantus, and felt comfy rocking colorful dildos from Happy Valley and Vixen Creations. But then I fell in love with a pink Aslan Leather harness and a pink glittery Godemiche Ambit, and my perfect femme-cock combo was formed.

I’d previously tried Godemiche’s Adam, and while I liked it, it had no curve – and curves are important to me. So I was excited when Godemiche launched the Ambit, a gently sloping G-spot-focused dildo with a defined coronal ridge. My vagina ached for it, and even moreso when they told me they could custom-make one in their sparkly pink colorway.

Godemiche’s silicone is midway between hard and soft: I can fold this dildo in half, but it takes effort. It’s firmer than Vixen and Tantusdual-density silicones, but squishier than their regular silicone formulations. It’s a good happy medium for my G-spot, which usually likes being stroked but not being aggressively pounded.

a pink glittery dildo in a pink leather harness!

At 5.75″, the Ambit is long enough that it can reach my A-spot if I pull my knees to my chest and push the toy really deep – but that’s not really where it shines. This is primarily a toy for G-spot stimulation and it does that very well. The flat, angled head finds my spot with precision, and a well-lubed Ambit is easy for me to thrust in and out as fast as I like.

Sometimes, mid-masturbation, I start to crave something a bit bigger and more targeted than the Ambit – at which point I might switch to a tried-and-true fave like the Uncut or Adam. The Ambit has a 1.5″ diameter at its widest point, and I’m used to using toys in the 1.75″+ range. But on an average day, it feels plenty good enough on my G-spot to get me off, when paired with a decent clit vibe.

Because its head comes to a tapered point, the Ambit is also great for anal play. Its curve would make for some good prostate stimulation, I’d imagine. I like the gentle popping feeling as this toy’s big head slides into my ass, and the otherwise smooth shaft means it doesn’t overwhelm my butt with sensation.

While I wouldn’t say the Godemiche Ambit is a standout favorite dildo of mine, it’s good to have around for days when I want medium-intensity G-spot stim and don’t feel like being filled up with a massive cock. Plus it looks totally gorgeous when I strap it on – and I’d imagine it’ll look even prettier when I (eventually) fuck the vag/butt/mouth of someone adorable with it. It is truly my dream femme cock!

Review: Godemiche Adam

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It takes a lot for a sex toy to get my attention these days. There comes a point where they all start to blend together. But when you’re offered an 8″ hunk of swirled green and yellow silicone from an up-and-coming company, you say yes. Or I do, anyway.

I actually gasped out loud when the folks at SheVibe emailed me about the Godemiche Adam. The colors are arresting. The colorway I own is called “Gamma Ray” but the toy also comes in “Phoenix Rising,” “Purple Phantom,” and “Gold Member.” If you wanna feel like an alien queen from Planet Glitterfemme, you could also get one in sparkly pink. (There aren’t enough heart-eyes emojis in the world for this shit, frankly.)

Shape-wise, I wasn’t expecting the Adam to do much for me. Its shaft is straight all the way along, and I typically prefer toys with a curve: a big curve for my G-spot, or a small curve for my A-spot. However, I was pleasantly surprised by what the Adam can accomplish.

imageIts coronal ridge is relentless. This is the type of drastic ridge that can either feel fantastic or painful, depending on your anatomy (and your level of arousal). When I’m properly turned on and lubed up, that ridge slides across my G-spot with every thrust, pushing and pulling against it until I feel like I might burst and/or squirt. But there are definitely times when I’m less aroused and it just feels like some sharp-nailed femme is ineptly fingering me. Be extra sure to take your time warming up for this dildo, unless you’re a total pro. And pour water-based lube on that sucker.

My Adam is the 8″ version. Godemiche also makes a 6″ Adam, but I’m glad I went for the longer one; I figured it’d stand a better chance of hitting my A-spot, and I was right. The tip is slightly tapered, so it makes delightful A-spot contact when I slide the toy inside me as deep as it’ll go. In fact, if I thrust the toy just so, I can get it to hit my G-spot on the outstroke and my A-spot on the instroke. Aaaamazing.

After the head and coronal ridge, the rest of Adam’s shaft is straight and uniform. Its 1.8″ diameter makes it feel deliciously substantial when I’m coming around it, but sometimes in the lead-up to orgasm, my vagina wishes there was a little more texture on that shaft. Veins, ripples, a foreskin ridge, whatever. If you’re a texture fiend, you might be bored by the Adam.

The silicone itself is one of the firmer formulations I’ve encountered. It might be partly because of how thick and substantial the Adam is, but I get barely any squish or bend out of it. That’s fine with me, since my internal erogenous zones tend to like pressure. However, if you’re looking for something more forgiving and gentle, I’d recommend VixSkin instead.

Overall, though, I was surprised by how much I like the Godemiche Adam. To the naked eye, it looks like a pretty standard realistic dildo, albeit more psychedelic than the average dong. But it actually strikes a delicate balance that a lot of dildos don’t: it hits my G-spot wonderfully, is long enough to get up in my A-spot, has enough heft to feel satisfying without feeling overwhelming, and is easy to thrust fast (which I do, a lot). And it looks beautiful in my pink harness. Dammit, Godemiche; you made this grizzled old dildo veteran feel something again. Something like love.

 

Thanks to SheVibe for providing me with this toy to review!

Review: Fucking Sculptures Double Trouble

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Did someone break into the penthouse of my vagina and steal the blueprints? Because the Fucking Sculptures Double Trouble feels like it was designed just for me.

My vagina hungers for it. It can’t make up its mind which side is better. “Tonight I want the smaller side,” I’ll think, and insert that slightly slimmer end until it slides all up into my A-spot. That fuck-yeah feeling of deep pressure and rhythm seems like everything I could possibly want… until I remember that the toy’s other side exists.

I flip it around and push the big side into me, turning it sideways at first so it’ll fit. It finds my G-spot with alarming ease. It’s like a little fist, so round and firm, exerting pressure in places I didn’t even know I needed it. I rock it against my G-spot fast until I squirt, and still I want more. So I flip the toy back around. And again. And again.

This is how every session with my Double Trouble seems to go: a slow, jagged, delicious ascent toward orgasm, unable to decide what kind of stimulation the toy provides best. It’s the Renaissance man of my vagina. And it was appallingly expensive, but in the sticky heat of the moment, I don’t remember or care.

imageI first tried a Double Trouble at Bex‘s house. They were borrowing Caitlin‘s, which is the standard inky-black color that the DT usually comes in. While Bex and Penny chatted in the next room, I retreated to the air mattress Bex had set up for me in their office, pilfered some lube, and settled in with the Double Trouble. It felt luxurious and heavy and huge, and I didn’t think my vagina would like it as much as my eyes did, but I was wrong. I was also, admittedly, very drunk (I had been out cavorting with a friend earlier in the evening), which made me wonder if perhaps I was experiencing the toy with a rose-tinted vagina.

I immediately noticed that the A-spot stimulation I could get from the DT’s smaller end was excellent, and it made me come super hard in combination with my trusty Tango. But the larger end wouldn’t fit inside me at all, which I decided was a dealbreaker, especially given how expensive the toy is. It took a lot of willpower not to place a drunken order from the Fucking Sculptures website that very night, but those drawbacks were enough to keep me from hitting the “Add to Cart” button. (Well, let’s be real, I think I did hit “Add to Cart” but at least I didn’t hit “Check Out.”)

However, in subsequent months, I started to notice that all my favorite dildos du jour were massive and S-shaped. And I kept casting my mind back to that debauched night on Bex’s air mattress. On Twitter, I complained about not being able to afford the dildo of my dreams – and within 24 hours, I got booked for two cam shows with kindly horny men who wanted to fund my dildo habit in exchange for some saucy Skype time. The internet is magic, y’all.

imageMy lascivious benefactors only covered about half the cost of the toy, but that was enough to justify it for me – especially since Fucking Sculptures was having a sale at the time. I emailed Maria, co-owner of the company, to ask if she happened to have any Double Troubles left from the limited-edition, sky-blue “Dreamy Daze” batch that had been made back in May. As it turned out, she had exactly one left. And if you know me, you know that I love blue sex toys. So that sealed the deal. I ordered it on the spot.

Courtney Trouble has said that they designed the Double Trouble to be “a representation of a cunt from the inside out,” and that’s totally what it feels like to me. It fills the hungry void that my vagina sometimes becomes, and presses against the exact spots where I want pressure.

imageThe smaller end is the one I use the most – and I’m using the word “smaller” pretty loosely here, because it’s still big; it’s just more tapered and pointed, so it’s easy to insert even if I haven’t warmed myself up or used any lube. (My vagina is a professional, though, so your mileage may vary. Go forth and lubricate, my friends!) It has the mild curve and slightly narrowed tip that tends to work well for hitting my A-spot, and indeed, it does so fantastically. I just need to push down on the other end a little bit to get the angle right. I’ve even taught a few partners how to do this, and it seems to be a fairly easy toy to fuck someone with: despite how deep I like my Double Trouble inserted, I’ve yet to have a partner painfully bump my cervix with it, because the curve and taper are just right.

I like the bigger end too, but I have to be in the right mood for it. As I’ve mentioned here before, intense G-spot stimulation isn’t really my jam; sometimes I crave it but mostly I can take it or leave it. However, when that’s what I want, this end can totally deliver. It’s enormous and has no taper, so I have to turn it sideways to get it into me, but once it’s in, it’s comfortable (not like my so-intense-it’s-almost-painful Seaside Steamroller). The angle is not as drastic as something like the Seduction or Comet Wand, so the most adamant of G-spotting fans may not be pleased with it, but it works well for my body.

Fucking Sculptures makes their toys out of soda lime glass, which is heavier than the borosilicate often used for cheaper, mass-produced glass toys. As you might have noticed, the Double Trouble is gigantic, so it’s pretty heavy: about 1.75 lbs. I’m used to thrusting heavy toys (my beloved Eleven is 2.75 lbs) so this doesn’t bother me unless I’m using the toy for a long period of time and my muscles start to tire. But if you have any mobility or strength issues in your arms, wrists or hands, you will definitely hate the Double Trouble.

But me? I definitely love it. If my vagina and this dildo both had OkCupid accounts, their compatibility percentage would be 99%. And they would exchange flirty messages that quickly became explicit. And then they would go on a drinks-date, banter wittily for a few minutes, and retire to the Double Trouble‘s apartment for some raucous, sweaty sex.

 

You can buy the Double Trouble at SheVibe! And you should, ’cause it’s the fucking bomb!

Review: Pleasure Works Cadet

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Sometimes you meet someone who seems perfect on paper, but there’s just no spark in person. They’re smart, funny, sweet, ambitious, adventurous, creative, charming, and a genuine pleasure to be around – but you just can’t muster up a sexual attraction to them. It’s frustrating as hell, and sometimes it can keep you from firmly rejecting the person, because they deserve to be wanted and you want to want them but you just… don’t.

That’s how I feel about the Pleasure Works Cadet. It’s a perfectly fine dildo that deserves love, from somebody, someday. But it’s not getting any love from me, hard as I might try.

The Cadet is made of silicone that has a little squish: it’s bendier than O2 but significantly firmer than VixSkin. It has a mild, strange scent and taste that remind me of the chocolate from advent calendars (?!). Its base is substantial and makes it anal-safe and harness-compatible, and it’s long enough (6.5″) that you won’t render it too short by strapping it into a harness.

The 1.6″ diameter feels ideal to me. I don’t need to warm up or stretch myself open before I take it, but it’s girthy enough that squeezing around it feels satisfying.

imageThere’s some raised veins on the shaft, but they’re pretty mild so my vag barely registers them. The head has some weird ridgy texture on it, which Bex told me bothers her but which I can hardly feel. (I should note, however, that my vag has historically not been all that sensitive to texture. If you are, you might dislike this like Bex does.) The coronal ridge is definitely noticeable in use but it’s not exaggerated; mostly it just reminds me of an average penis… which unfortunately means that it barely hits my G-spot. In fact, I only seem to get decent G-spot stimulation with this toy if I thrust it very fast.

And that’s a problem I have with the Cadet: thrusting it fast takes effort. The textured shaft and draggy silicone create resistance, and I find the base hard to grip if I’m trying to pound myself at a decent clip. Adding more lube helps a little, but I hardly ever seem to gather the speed and momentum I want. And when I do manage it, usually my wrist hurts like hell afterward.

imageI thought I’d like the Cadet because it’s theoretically long enough to hit my A-spot – usually toys need to be about 6″ or longer to reach that deep inside me. But nope, it doesn’t even do that. The head is just slightly too wide and blunt to slide past my cervix into that pleasurable nook. When I push the Cadet all the way into me, it feels so close and yet so far. Dammit.

So, while I’ve had some pretty good orgasms with the Cadet, it’s never going to be a favorite of mine. It barely hits my favorite spots, even when I run myself ragged trying to thrust it at top speed. If you’re looking for an average-sized, realistic, silicone cock for strap-on purposes or otherwise, I’d recommend the Tantus Uncut #1, Vixen Leo or Mustang instead. They all make my vagina way happier than the Cadet.

Sorry, pal. I tried. But it’s not me, it’s you.

 

Thanks for sending me this toy, SheVibe!