Blowjobs are gleefully discussed and pontificated upon in all sorts of vanilla sex media, from Cosmopolitan to the Sunday Night Sex Show. However, that doesn’t mean they’re a strictly vanilla activity. Like most sex acts, BJs are as kinky as you choose to make them.
That said, sometimes kinkifying a sexual activity is easier said than done… so here are 10 suggestions for ways to infuse a little D/s or fetishistic fun into your next blowjob. (And to be clear, these work just as well for strap-on BJs as they do for sucking bio-cock!)
1. Dirty talk. This is one of the easiest ways to bring a kinky narrative into your blowjob. As the giver, whenever your mouth isn’t full, you can talk about how good your partner’s cock tastes, what a desperate slut you are for them, how much you enjoy serving them (or controlling them), and so on. As the receiver, you can spin stories about the purpose of the blowjob (is it a punishment? a privilege?) and who you imagine your partner to be in relation to you (your good girl/boy? your tormentor? your slave?). A raunchy monologue or dialogue is a fantastic way to keep your erotic imagination as engaged as your body is.
2. Hair-pulling. Sharply tugging someone’s hair at the root will certainly get their attention, and may also enable you to guide their head where you want it. It adds elements of sadomasochism and control to your blowjob, without a ton of effort required.
3. Distraction play. It’s tons of fun to use your mouth to try to distract someone from a task, like writing, playing piano, or reading aloud from a book. (“Hysterical Literature,” anyone?) Some people like to do this in riskier situations, like while the receiver is on a business phone call, but I think that crosses into “involving non-consenting parties in your play” territory. You can certainly pretend to do that, though!
4. Sensory deprivation. It’s even easier to focus on the sensations in your mouth when your other senses are limited in some way. This may involve a blindfold, noise-canceling headphones, or both. As an added benefit, this may be particularly relaxing for receivers who are insecure about how they look or sound while being sucked off.
5. Bondage. Try cuffing the giver’s hands together behind their back; it makes a blowjob instantly kinkier and more difficult. You could also try strapping them to a bed and fucking their face, if they’re into that (see below), though that’s an advanced-level move that should only be undertaken by confident experts! As for the receiver, they can be immobilized in various fun ways too, with cuffs or rope, making them helpless and unable to do anything but feel the sensations being bestowed upon them.
6. Deepthroating. This nifty move is a staple of the blowjob porn genre, and for good reason: it’s a dramatic, impressive party trick that can also feel really good, so I’m told. Depending on the dynamics at play, deepthroating someone’s cock could either be a submissive act of service, designed to please them by taking them as deep as you physically can, or an act of dominance through mastery, controlling them by giving them pleasure with your sheer competence. Either way, it’s a fun skill to learn and practice. Check out these “7 Essential Tips to Help You Deep Throat Without Gagging” for more on this.
7. Facefucking. Once you’ve mastered the art of deepthroating, you may be able to take things even further by getting your face fucked. This act can look violent and scary from the outside, but then, so can a lot of kinks. Always start slow, and make sure the two of you agree in advance on a “safe-signal”: a gesture or action the “facefuckee” can do if they need the “facefucker” to stop immediately. Some common options include tapping or slapping your partner’s thigh, shaking your head back and forth repeatedly, or dropping a small object you’ve been holding.
8. Roleplay. There are all sorts of different characters and archetypes you could project onto a blowjob to make it more illicit and hot. The roleplay can last the length of the BJ, or it could be a whole extended scene that culminates in oral sex. In either case, playing a role can help both partners release their inhibitions and find new ways to enjoy this tried-and-true sex act. Some popular relationships to roleplay include teacher/student, doctor/patient (or doctor/nurse), boss/secretary, masseuse/client, and sex worker/client – but you can be as creative and original as you like!
9. Hypnosis. This requires a special skillset, of course, but it’s not as hard to learn as you might think – pick up a copy of Mark Wiseman’s book Mind Play and you’ll soon be equipped to start hypnotizing people in sexy and consent-conscious ways. You could trance a BJ-giver into having a more sexually sensitive tongue or throat, being totally focused on the service task they’re performing, or becoming more and more deeply mesmerized the deeper they take the cock into their mouth. Likewise, you could give the BJ-receiver suggestions that’ll make them feel pleasure more strongly, feel as if they’ve been cuffed to the bed, or sink deeper into trance with every wet stroke of their dick. Hypnokink is magic!
10. Cock-slapping. This always makes me laugh in porn, but when it’s actually happening to you, it can be surprisingly intense! To be clear, I mean the kind of cock-slapping where the BJ-receiver grabs their dick and smacks it against the cheek/lips/face of the person sucking them off – which is delightfully rough and degrading – but you could also actually slap a cock in between oral interludes, if the receiver is into that. For certain kinksters, intermingling pleasure with pain is the fastest route to arousal!
What are your favorite ways to add some kinky flair to a blowjob?
This post was sponsored. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.