Author: Kate Sloan

Review: Magic Wand Waterproof

Kate Sloan

When I interviewed 35 people about the legendary Magic Wand vibrator for my podcast miniseries about it, certain sentiments recurred again and again. For instance, people frequently described it as “dependable” and “reliable,” it was repeatedly compared to jackhammers and Cadillacs, and… you guessed it… almost everyone wished it was waterproof.

Some of them expressed this with a certain guilty reservation, like they felt “greedy” for wanting a famously ultra-powerful vibrator to also stand up to shower sex. How decadent, how maximalist, to imagine bringing earth-shattering power offshore with you into uncharted waters.

Well, guess what? I’m here to tell you that it’s okay to be greedy. It’s okay to be maximalist. It’s okay to want it all. Sometimes you’ll even get what you want – like when Vibratex heeds user feedback and actually makes a waterproof Magic Wand.

Magic Wand Rechargeable (top) and Magic Wand Waterproof (bottom) – (and no, those parentheticals are not me speculating on what positions the wands prefer during anal sex)

What is the Magic Wand Waterproof and how does it compare to other Magic Wands?

I’m not going to include the Magic Wand Mini or Magic Wand Micro in the table below, because they’re not on the same level power-wise. But here is a comparison table of all the full-size Magic Wands currently available:

Magic Wand...

Price (USD)

$200

$75

$150

$85

Power source

Rechargeable via 100-240V electrical outlet

110-120V electrical outlet

Rechargeable via 100-240V electrical outlet

100-240V electrical outlet

Battery life

2.5h on a 4h charge

n/a (electrical)

3h on a 3h charge

n/a (electrical)

Speeds

4 (2700, 4200, 6000, and 7000 RPM)

2 (5000 and 6000 RPM)

4 (2700, 3800, 5400, and 6300 RPM)

4 (2700, 3800, 5400, and 6300 RPM)

Patterns

4

None

4

None

Dimensions

13.2" x 2.4"

12" x 2.25"

13" x 2.4"

13" x 2.4"

Weight

1.3 lbs

1.2 lbs

1.3 lbs

1.3 lbs

Materials

ABS plastic body, silicone head

Plastic body, porous vinyl head

ABS plastic body, silicone head

ABS plastic body, silicone head

Useable while charging?

No

n/a (electrical)

Yes

n/a (electrical)

Waterproof?

Yes

No

No

No

Things I like about the Magic Wand Waterproof:

  • It is indeed waterproof! Hurrah! This is worth rejoicing about. I am a bath aficionado and have been known to rub one out in the tub from time to time, and it’s sooo nice to be able to take a super-strong toy in there with me, instead of being relegated to whatever waterproof little clit vibe happens to be charged. (The We-Vibe Tango X is the best one, incase you’re wondering.) It’s also nice to be able to massage my neck and shoulders, etc. while lying in a warm bath, since the heat helps relax my muscles even further. Vibratex even made the buttons on the MWW slightly bigger, perhaps to make them easier to see underwater.
  • Okay, here’s the real bombshell: This is the MOST POWERFUL MAGIC WAND that has EVER EXISTED. Yes, I’m caps-lock shouting at you, because if you take away nothing else from this review, it should be that. This vibrator’s amazingly strong motor might even be its primary selling point, moreso even than its being waterproof. As you can see in the comparison table above, the Magic Wand Original (MWO) tops out at 6,000 RPM, while the Magic Wand Rechargeable (MWR) and Magic Wand Plus (MWP) both go up to 6,300 RPM – but the Magic Wand Waterproof (MWW) has them all beat, maxing out at a whopping 7,000 RPM. Its lowest setting (2,700 RPM) is the same as the lowest setting of the MWR and MWP, but each of its 3 subsequent settings is more powerful than its equivalent in other Magic Wands, with the MWW’s 3rd speed (of 4) being the same as the highest speed of the Magic Wand Original. So, if you love wands but have found that your current Magic Wand doesn’t feel quite powerful enough, the Waterproof might be exactly the upgrade you need.
  • Relatedly: This wand is so strong that it’s given me a greater appreciation for how, contrary to popular belief, sometimes wands are a good pick for days when you’re feeling extra-sensitive, because you can hold them further away from your clit/cock/etc., use them through labia or through underwear, etc. and still feel the vibrations, because of how powerful they are. (JoEllen Notte has also written about this.) I find direct clit stim quite painful so I love how wands are so versatile in this way. When I come with a wand, usually it’s pressed against the side of my clit through two layers of labia and one or two layers of clothing – and even then, this wand feels wildly intense, which brings me to my next point…
  • Oh, the orgasms!! This thing gives me the type of orgasms that make me say “Oh my god” out loud while I’m coming, because the sensations are so unexpectedly strong. (Pretty rare for a professional sex toy reviewer of over 13 years to be surprised by how her own orgasms feel!) Sometimes those orgasms have an element of discomfort or overstimulation to them, as I’ll discuss further below – but the strength of these vibrations, and the Magic Wand’s signature blend of rumbliness with a topcoat of buzz, makes these orgasms awe-inspiring.
  • As with all Magic Wand products, this one feels solidly constructed and well-engineered, its buttons respond quickly and reliably, and it’s overall the sex toy equivalent of a great friend who always keeps their promises.
The cursed charging port cap

Things I don’t like about the Magic Wand Waterproof:

  • My biggest issue with the MWW is one of personal taste: it’s a bit too strong for me! The jumps between speeds sometimes feel jarring, partly just because I’m so accustomed to using my MWR instead – but there were several MWW testing sessions where eventually the first speed felt too weak but the second speed felt too strong, and I eventually gave up and switched back to my MWR because its second speed is slightly weaker than the MWW’s (3800 RPMs versus 4200) and thus more enjoyable to me. When I did use the MWW “to completion,” it often left my vulva feeling a bit overstimulated and achy afterward, in the way that ultra-strong vibration tends to.
  • While the official Magic Wand website says that both the MWW and the MWR weigh 1.3 lbs, the MWW feels heavier to me somehow, and my arm gets tired/sore more quickly from holding it. It’s possible that the weight is just distributed differently within the toy (more top-heavy, perhaps?) but in any case, I find the MWW slightly unwieldy compared to the MWR.
  • The blue rubbery cap that fits over the charging port, which presumably is one of the things that makes it waterproof (since the manual warns that the cap must always be on when the MWW is in water), is not attached to the wand itself in any way, and would therefore be easy to drop/lose. I’m not sure what Vibratex would do in that event – some sex toy companies sell individual replacements for parts that are easily misplaced, for instance – but I wish that the problem had been avoided altogether by having the cap be attached to the body of the wand.
  • Unlike the MWR, the MWW cannot be used while charging. This is rarely an issue, especially since the MWW lasts about 2.5 hours on a full charge, but I’ve always liked that when the MWR dies, you can literally just plug it in and keep using it. It guarantees that you’re never left in the lurch, and so I wish every other vibe could have that feature, including the MWW. (Obviously you still wouldn’t be able to use it in water while it’s charging…)
  • Like the MWR before it, the MWW shuts off automatically after 20 minutes of use, to prevent overheating. (You can turn it back on again immediately.) I don’t usually encounter this because I take frequent breaks where I turn the vibe off for a few seconds to manage genital overstimulation throughout a session, but it’s pretty annoying to have to worry about it at all.
  • The MWW is the most expensive product in the Magic Wand lineup, at $200. I imagine this has something to do with the Trump tariffs (sigh). It’s not as pricey as the upscale Doxy Die Cast wand ($215), but it’s also not as powerful (the Die Cast maxes out at 9000 RPM versus the MWW’s 7000). That being said, the MWW does bring value to the table that’ll make it worth the high price for some users, namely its waterproofness and its added motor strength.
  • I’m sure there are valid engineering-related reasons this cannot be, but I wish the MWW and MWR used the same charger, just for convenience’s sake. Alas, they do not.

Final thoughts

I’m thrilled to have a Magic Wand Waterproof in my collection, particularly for those times when I’m craving a bathtub wank and don’t want to have to compromise on power. It didn’t end up being my personal favorite product in the Magic Wand lineup, though; that title is still held by the legendary Magic Wand Rechargeable, because I’m sensitive enough that the MWW’s jumps in power felt too big for my delicate, picky clit. I also love being able to use the MWR while it’s charging, so it never gives up the ghost mid-session, a feature that the MWW lacks.

But I think a lot of people will absolutely love the MWW. It opens up entirely new avenues of play, both because it’s waterproof and because it’s even stronger than its predecessors. Diehard Magic Wand devotees will enjoy the added power and versatility – although I’m not sure I’d recommend the MWW as a gateway for a first-time wand user, because of how strong it is.

Overall, though? Look. It’s been a tough year so far, to say the fucking least. Global slide into fascism. Queer and trans people existentially threatened. Climate change lapping at our heels. And on and on.

So when something actually good happens these days, I feel it’s my responsibility to shout it from the top of a mountain… [Ron Burgundy voice] but I don’t have a mountain; I have a sex blog, and so it is here that I must say to you: the Magic Wand Waterproof exists, and it is good. It’s the most powerful Magic Wand that’s ever been made. It is the answer to our vibrator prayers. Good things still can happen in this godforsaken world. 🪄

 

This post was NOT sponsored and I was NOT required to review this product, although Vibratex did kindly send me a pre-release sample to test. Yes, I am #blessed.

Behind the Seams: Energy, Comedy, & Slime Puppies

Kate Sloan

May 15th, 2025

A very unglamorous day followed by a substantially more glamorous night: I wore this out to get some medical tests done, including my routine STI testing (Safer Six is my go-to in Toronto these days; they’re always lovely!), and then later to meet up with my brother Max for dinner at Fran’s and to go see the Classic Albums Live performance of Michael Jackson’s Thriller at Massey Hall, for which I’d bought us tickets as Max’s birthday gift a few months prior. The show was fantastic – so much energy, so many good vibes!

What I’m wearing:

• Red camisole with built-in bra (a.k.a. “brami“) – Gap; I have like 4 of these now and they’re so good, especially for those of us who medically cannot tolerate real bras
• Black leather jacket – Danier Leather, covered in pins from various sources
• Black short-shorts – H&M back in 2017; I wore these for practically the whole summer when I was 25 and they are back, baybee
• Black leggings (worn under the shorts) – H&M
• Black leather Converse sneakers
• Vintage black leather Coach Station bag
• Silver disco ball earrings – H&M

May 16th, 2025

During the day, I wrote a rabbit vibe review. Then, in the evening, I slithered into this cute little outfit to trek across town to Comedy Bar East for a show that one of my musical improv teammates was in. It was a longform improv show (my fave kind) and the troupe was trying out some cool new formats. Non-musical improv, in this case, although my friend did do some rapping in one scene! Afterward a few of us hung out shooting the shit in the bar until late, and then moseyed tipsily to various other locations, eventually ending our night by doing musical improv over YouTube karaoke tracks in a friend’s cozy basement apartment until 3 a.m. Truly can’t remember the last time I was out that late (and not fucking miserable about it), but time flies when you’re having fun with comedy friends!

What I’m wearing:

• Pink cropped T-shirt – Gap (can you tell I placed a big order there recently to update my wardrobe for improv classes/shows? I didn’t have enough solid-color, casual shirts!)
• Black velvet skater skirt – Forever 21 several years ago (worn with black bike shorts underneath, because being constantly fearful of flashing passersby when a gust of wind arises is not chic, darling)
• Pink leather Doc Martens
• Vintage black Coach Station bag
• Rainbow earrings – 3Delightfulshop on Etsy

May 17th, 2025

My friend’s show was so good that I ended up going to the second one the following day! Wanted to see more of those interesting longform structures his troupe was doing. Then I journaled on the long streetcar ride back home, at which point my far-away cinephile sweetheart (a.k.a. the Movieboy) and I watched a Hitchcock flick together online (The 39 Steps, which was quite good).

What I’m wearing:

• Bernie Sanders campaign tank top (frayed and full of holes at this point… just like my faith in democracy, ha ha)
• Red polka-dotted midi skirt – Forever 21
• Black leather Chuck Taylors
• Black leather jacket – Danier Leather
• Rainbow earrings – 3Delightfulshop
• Vintage red leather Coach Willis bag

May 30th, 2025

I have been on low-dose naltrexone (LDN) for my fibromyalgia for about 6 months. Some of the effects are not-so-great for me (of which more later), but the main ones are fabulous: I’ve noticed a significant reduction in pain, and a significant boost in mood and energy. As a result, I’ve been able to lead the closest thing I’ve had to a “normal life” since developing this disease at age 23 and receding gradually further into the isolated chronically ill lifestyle since then. I am grateful every morning when I take my LDN, because it has totally turned my life around!

In fact, I have so much more energy now that I can usually go on 1-2 walks a day, of about 45 minutes each. (For reference, a year ago I would’ve needed to lie down for a few hours after taking a walk like that.) This is especially great right now, since I’m trying to keep my energy/endurance up for the weekly musical improv shows I’m doing every Sunday in June, and am loving being able to actually exercise without needing to take an achy depression nap afterward! It’s also great because I get to put together cute outfits like this one for my walks, which of course just helps motivate me further.

What I’m wearing:

• Turquoise “Slime Puppy” tank top – an impulsive and probably drunken late-night Amazon purchase some years ago (for those unfamiliar, “slime puppy” is an epithet from Succession which Gerri slings at Roman in one of their erotically fraught tête-à-têtes; it famously was not scripted, and was improvised by J. Smith-Cameron during filming)
• Black short-shorts – H&M
• Black leather belt – Gap
• Black leather Chuck Taylors
• Turquoise/purple “Think Positive” snapback hat – MaruHats
• Prescription sunglasses – Zenni
• Apple Watch with navy leather Hermès band (gotta track those biometrics, baby!)

June 1st, 2025 (daytime)

Another outfit for a walk. This look is a prime example of what Gala Darling might call “dopamine dressing” – i.e. putting together outfits purely for how good they make you feel, and how good they might make other people feel when they see you! Sure enough, kindly strangers lobbed compliments at me as I sauntered past in my fruity finest.

One of the errands I ran in this ensemble was stopping at the liquor store for a bottle of rosé for my aunt… Something iconic about rocking up to the booze shop in an all-pink outfit to buy an all-pink wine 😂

What I’m wearing:

• Pink knit hat – Only
• Pink “brami” – Gap (gift from my mama the night before, who knows me very well, evidently)
• Pink fleece-lined sweatpants – Gap, soooo cozy
• Pink & red custom Nike Air Force 1s
• Pink leather Coach bag
• Apple Watch with navy leather Hermès band

June 1st, 2025 (nighttime)

For the evening’s improv show + jam, I changed into this. My troupe has been dressing in blues and blacks when we perform lately, to give us a more professional/unified look, so I’d pulled some old black/blue/navy dresses from the far reaches of my closet, including this little number, which I seem to remember wearing on lots of sweaty, sexy dates the summer I was 25.

It was a good show for me – I improvised a jazz song about dancing in the streets and a blues verse about scarves, among other things – and I even won the rhyming-based elimination game we played at the end of the jam, so I was deemed the ‘champion’ of the evening and had my photo taken for the champions’ wall… hence the silly triumphant poses in some of these photos, haha! (The middle one is just me laughing at one of my hilarious pals. This type of full-on head-tilted-back cackle is not at all unusual for me at these shows…!)

What I’m wearing:

• Navy polka-dotted dress – H&M many years ago
• Black leather belt – Gap
• Black leather Chuck Taylors
• Red heart-shaped prescription glasses – Zenni (I try not to wear these during our actual shows because they are A Bit Much when you’re trying to play lots of different characters, some of whom would never dream of wearing something so silly-looking – but I usually put them back on for the improv jam afterward and get lots of compliments on them, haha)

June 3rd, 2025

Another all-pink outfit for a walk! It was super sunny and warm so I decided to bust out these very small shorts from my mid-twenties. There aren’t many places I would wear these, but they’re fine to wear on a walk, so long as I keep my noise-canceling earbuds in and aggressively ignore any men who try to shout anything my way…

What I’m wearing:

• Pink snapback hat – an impulsive eBay purchase some years ago, I think?
• Pink “brami” – Gap
• Tiny pink shorts – H&M many years ago
• Black leather belt – Gap
• Black prescription sunglasses – Zenni
• Pink & red custom Nike Air Force 1s

June 4th, 2025

I wore this to go see lesbian rock legend Carole Pope perform an unplugged set at Hugh’s Room with some family members. Carole was a long-time bandmate and collaborator of my late uncle Kevan Staples, who passed away earlier this year, so it was emotional for us to see her perform again, especially some of the songs she co-wrote with Kevan. Really awesome set, and a great crowd full of fellow queers, who sang along with wild abandon to Carole’s songs about fisting and safewords – what a way to kick off Pride month!

What I’m wearing:

• Pale blue cropped T-shirt – Gap
• Black pleated tennis skirt – Uniqlo
• Royal blue knee-high socks – the now-defunct kinky Minneapolis coffee shop Leather & Latte
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• Turquoise leather Tiffany’s dog collar – from my beautiful wife
• Silver disco ball earrings – H&M
• Black leather jacket – Danier Leather
• Vintage black Coach Station bag

June 5th, 2025

Here’s what I wore to run some errands today, including picking up an antibiotic for a UTI that I didn’t even know I had until my doctor called me this morning to tell me 😂 Bodies are strange…

(Content note: This next paragraph is gonna talk about weight loss, appetite/eating, and body image. I aim to discuss these things from a body-positive or at least body-neutral perspective – no fat-shaming here! But please absolutely feel free to skip the whole paragraph if that stuff is gonna trigger/trouble you. Thanks for taking care of yourself!)

Speaking of “bodies are strange”: As I mentioned, I’ve been on LDN for a while – and one of the unfortunate side effects (in my view) is that it severely fucks with my appetite, which was already lessened due to the Wellbutrin I’ve been taking for my depression for the past 5+ years. This makes sense, due to how both drugs interact with the brain’s reward system (which is also why naltrexone is so useful for treating alcohol dependency, for instance), but is super annoying for people like me who like food and want to be able to enjoy it! I can really only eat maybe one-quarter to one-third as much per meal as I used to be able to, before I start feeling uncomfortably full and have to stop. This has resulted in some significant weight loss, as eagle-eyed readers may already have noticed (thanks for not saying anything about it, that would be rude and gross!), and I’m still actively adjusting to these changes. A lot of my clothes are literally hanging off me, as seen here (this skirt used to sit at my waist and now droops down to my hips), which makes me feel weird/bad/like this isn’t really “my body,” and it’s also weird to be feeling so energetic, motivated and happy while I’m literally shrinking away, especially since I have some history of disordered eating and bad body image. I guess the next step is probably to get a bunch of my clothing tailored to fit my current body, since I plan to stay on this drug for the foreseeable future and don’t want to keep living in this limbo where almost nothing fits me. But it’s also tough to accept that this really is my body now, and that it won’t change again anytime soon (because who knows?! it might!). Anyway, if you’ve ever been through something similar and have advice/wisdom to share, I’d love to hear from you in the comments!

What I’m wearing:

• Pale blue cropped T-shirt – Gap
• Turquoise pleated tennis skirt – not sure
• Royal blue knee-high socks – Leather & Latte
• Grey knit beanie – eBay
• Black prescription sunglasses – Zenni
• Vintage black Coach Station bag
• Blue metallic Doc Martens – bought when I was ~19 and recently rediscovered in my closet at my parents’ house; aren’t they wild?!

P.S. Want more posts like this? Check out the ‘outfit‘ tag!

Review: XReverie Rilva rabbit vibrator

Kate Sloan

Every time I review a sex toy, I start by reading its instruction manual cover-to-cover – and one of the funniest parts of the manual is often the verbs that the sex toy company has chosen to express what its toy’s various functions do. I’ve seen everything from “slapping” to “squeezing” to “tickling”… and in this way, the XReverie Rilva rabbit vibrator stood out from the crowd, because it offers “digging” and “swelling.” What the hell does that mean? Let’s find out together, shall we?!

What is the XReverie Rilva rabbit vibrator?

Like most rabbit vibrators, this one has an internal arm that’s meant to be used vaginally, and an external arm that’s meant to be used clitorally.

In this case, the internal arm has a couple of different functions:

  1. The tip of the shaft strokes up and down in a “come hither” motion meant to stimulate the A-spot. (Yes, they specifically reference the A-spot in their product copy! Yay, more A-spot awareness!) Identified by XReverie as “digging,” I would moreso call this “stroking” or “massaging.”
  2. The middle of the shaft rhythmically undulates, expanding and contracting, or as XReverie calls it, “swelling.” It’s meant to stimulate the G-spot, and in practice, I’d say it feels more like light tapping against that area.

The external/clitoral arm of the toy is more straightforward – it just vibrates – but its shape is non-standard for a rabbit; it reminds me of a seal balancing a ball on its nose.

The Rilva is made of silicone and ABS plastic, and it currently retails for $54.99 USD. It lasts about 50 minutes on a 90-minute charge.

Things I like about the XReverie Rilva rabbit vibrator:

  • I’m always thrilled to see new toys coming out that target the A-spot specifically, and this one does a decent job of it! The tip of its shaft feels very similar to a partner stroking my spot with one or two fingers – which is my jam, man, as practically anyone I’ve ever fucked could tell you. There are 3 steady stroking speeds followed by some more erratic patterns; I liked that the steady speeds started relatively slow, instead of jackhammery (I often find myself saying “Slower, please!!” when partners are fingerbanging me). It’s a stroking motion, not a thrusting motion, but the sensation reminded me a lot of Fun Factory Stronic toys (RIP), in the way it hit my spot rhythmically again and again.
  • I dig that the internal and external arm can be controlled separately from one another, each with their own button. You can also pause one of the arms by double-clicking its button, if (for example) the clitoral vibrations start to overwhelm you and you want to focus on internal sensations for a while.
  • The Rilva comes with a lovely velvety storage bag… which is especially important because its soft matte silicone is very prone to picking up lint/dirt/etc.
  • It’s IPX6 water-resistant, meaning you can wash it in the sink or take it in the shower, but shouldn’t submerge it.

Things I don’t like about the XReverie Rilva rabbit vibrator:

  • Unfortunately the biggest issue with this toy is that its stroking function slows down under pressure. Even just the minor vaginal squeezing I do during mild-to-moderate arousal was enough to hinder its motion significantly – which was a bummer, because the stroking felt amazing until then! IMO, if you’re designing a toy for vaginal use, it should be able to withstand some basic Kegel flexing without buckling under the pressure.
  • The shaft of the toy also starts to overheat after a few minutes, especially if you’re putting extra pressure on the motor, by, uh, [checks notes] becoming sexually aroused while it’s inside you. It never got hot enough to hurt me or anything, but it was still unsettling.
  • The clitoral arm is fairly useless for me: its vibrations are irritatingly buzzy (albeit surprisingly strong, especially on the high end) and its shape inevitably focuses those vibrations onto the hypersensitive tip of my clit, rather than the clitoral shaft or hood. Some people would enjoy this laser-focused intensity, but I sure ain’t one of ’em.
  • I don’t know why soooo many toys I’m reviewing here lately have had 3 steady speeds followed by 7 patterns, but I’m tired of it!! Give us more steady speeds and fewer patterns!! Both the internal and external arms of the Rilva have this issue.
  • I can’t even really comment on the part of the shaft that “swells” against the G-spot, because I barely felt it. It’s inventive, though!
  • The Rilva is kinda loud, although that’s normal with mechanical stroking toys like this one.

Final thoughts

Wish I liked this toy more, but alas, the XReverie Rilka rabbit vibe has some significant mechanical issues, including its tendency to slow down under any pressure, its troubling habit of overheating, and its gratingly buzzy motor.

But I hope more sex toy companies (including XReverie!) keep making A-spot-focused toys, because this spot deserves more love. As in, the kind of love that doesn’t slow to a crawl the minute you get turned on.

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of the product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Behind the Seams: Improv, Airports, & the Elephant Man

Kate Sloan

April 1st, 2025

Here’s what I wore to have dinner at a Mexican restaurant and then attend a screening of David Lynch’s The Elephant Man at the Paradise Theatre with my mom. It’s a really beautiful film, quite eerie and affecting. It was being screened as part of a series about “freaks” as a trope. Themes of disability, ableism, and social ostracization were woven through many of the films in the series, this one being a prime example. It was so lovely to watch it in a room full of pious film nerds!

What I’m wearing:

• Orange tank top – Gap
• Red pencil skirt – American Apparel
• Black cashmere hoodie (barely visible) because movie theatres are always way too cold – gift from my parents-in-law
• Black tights
• Black leather Doc Martens
• Black wool coat – thrifted in 2007, originally from Fairweather
• Pink leather bag – Coach

April 17th, 2025

Kind of a silly one. I love being a Weird Outfit Girl. I wore this to go get a haircut. I keep wanting to go shorter and shorter with my hair lately. Just feels right, man!

What I’m wearing:

• Yellow modal tank top – Amazon Basics (I know, I know…)
• Red polka-dotted midi skirt – Forever 21, many years ago
• Black leather jacket covered in various pins – Danier Leather
• White heart-print socks – Gap
• Red/pink/blue custom Nike Air Force 1 sneakers
• Red leather Coach Willis bag – vintage
• “101 Kinky Things” snapback hat – custom-made by Printful
• Black prescription sunglasses – Zenni

April 22nd, 2025

This was my airport outfit for a birthday jaunt to New York. I had planned to wear jeans to the airport, but was having a reeeeal bad fibro flare-up and ended up having to swap them out for lounge pants right before leaving the house. But honestly, this look kinda rules, and makes me wonder if I should dip my toe into wide-leg jeans for the first time in literal decades… Hmm!

Shout-out to this blue polka-dotted backpack, which I bought at the Indigo bookstore in the Eaton Centre when I was a freshman in journalism school. I schlepped my books and laptop around in it for years, and it’s still serving me well for trips when I don’t want to bring a whole suitcase with me.

What I’m wearing:

• Navy and red tank top – technically a pajama shirt; a gift from my mom (along with matching patterned pants, which I don’t tend to wear outside as often, lol!)
• Blue cashmere cardigan – Gap
• Black wide-leg lounge pants – Ureshii, made-to-measure several years ago (they are soooo comfy and they have pockets!)
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• Blue polka-dotted backpack – Baggu via Indigo

April 27th, 2025

I received two pairs of the same gloves as a Christmas gift (from my very thoughtful parents and my very thoughtful parents-in-law, respectively), so I decided to return one pair for store credit… and ended up getting this denim jumpsuit instead. They had it in black too, but the navy was calling my name!

I really wasn’t sure I’d be able to pull off a look like this, since I’m typically way more femme-presenting – but I’ve felt amazingly powerful every time I’ve worn this jumpsuit! Case in point: On this night, I had a musical improv show with my class/troupe, performed well, and felt great!

What I’m wearing:

• Denim jumpsuit – Aritzia (sadly doesn’t seem to be available anymore; I hope they bring it back, because I might need the black version after all…)
• Custom Nike Air Force 1s
• Orange leather Coach satchel – vintage on eBay (usually my overnight bag these days when I go stay at my parents’ house after improv shows and classes; I think of it as my femme improvisor equivalent of a gym bag!)
• Black prescription sunglasses – Zenni

May 3rd, 2025

Here’s what I wore to attend my dad’s birthday dinner. I love an all-black look with a pop of brightness somewhere. “One does want a hint of color,” as Starrina might say!

What I’m wearing:

• Black wool sweater – gift from my dad I think?
• Black tank top underneath (unseen) – Museum of Sex gift shop
• Black jeans – Madewell
• Pink/purple/turquoise vintage silk scarf worn as a belt for some reason
• Black leather Converse Chuck Taylor sneakers
• Pink leather Coach bag
• Black leather jacket – Danier

May 4th, 2025

Another improv show night! I tend to dress more casual and androgynous for improv shows than is my typical style, because that’s sort of the norm in those spaces, not to mention it’s often more practical when you’re running around on stage. That being said, I do like incorporating little touches of femme flair here and there – like a teensy bit of midriff under a crop top, or my ever-present red lip, which gives me superpowers, I swear.

The show went great! Here’s a solo song I improvised, and a silly Hoedown verse about morticians.

What I’m wearing:

• Blue “brami” shirt (as in, camisole with a built-in bra) – Gap
• Navy high-waisted skinny jeans – J. Crew
• Black leather Converse Chuck Taylor sneakers
• Black fleece-lined hoodie (in 2nd picture only) – American Apparel
• Black/grey/blue Coach Willis bag – gift from my love

May 8th, 2025

A friend offered me a last-minute ticket to go see Dinosaur Improv, a visiting troupe featuring such comedy powerhouses as Lisa Gilroy, Jason Mantzoukas, Paul Scheer, and more. I threw on this vaguely Daria-inspired outfit and walked down to the Second City. The show was incredible; I laughed my face off with my pals, and felt inspired with regards to my own improv, too.

What I’m wearing:

• Sex T-Rex shirt – bought from Sex T-Rex themselves (they’re an improv troupe) at the Bad Dog Theatre; I cut the neckline off and made some other minor alterations
• Green/blue/black plaid leggings – Torrid
• Black leather Doc Martens
• Black leather jacket – Danier
• Pink leather Coach bag
• Pink leather heart earrings – Unicorn Collaborators

May 11th, 2025

Aaaand it’s another improv show outfit! My mom recently suggested that I go through the closet in my room at her house, to see if there were any old clothes from my teens/twenties that I might want to bust out again for improv shows. That’s where I found this shirt, and it really did work well on stage, I think! It’s eye-catching without being obnoxious, and makes me feel super confident.

This show went well too – I did a boy band song about butter and a blues verse about wishing I could take my mom to the Greek islands, among other things!

What I’m wearing:

• Multicolored floral-print crop top – American Apparel many years ago
• Black skinny jeans – Gap
• Black leather belt – Gap
• Black leather Converse Chuck Taylor sneakers
• Red heart-shaped prescription glasses – Zenni

5 Ways to (Hopefully!) Tell If Your New Crush Is Chill About Sex Toys

Kate Sloan

Going on first dates in my twenties was always a crapshoot in many ways. Would my date look like their photo, ask me a single question about myself, or put effort into making me come? There was no way to know in advance. Like all of us who engage in the weird and wondrous ritual that is modern dating, I just had to trust the process and hope for the best.

Or so I thought.

See, over the years, as I’ve gotten more involved with kinky and queer communities, I’ve learned a lot more about “vetting” new partners. Sometimes this happens in very overt ways, like when you ask a hot stranger at the dungeon to tell you about their safewords and other consent practices before agreeing to play with them. But vetting can also happen more subtly, as a way of ascertaining information that can establish compatibility and may even keep you safe – like “Has this person even heard of the concept of polyamory?” or “Is this person going to do/say something bigoted if I come out to them as bi?”

Polyamory, queerness, and kink are all topics I try to “vet” new potential partners’ stances on, because anyone who plans to date or fuck me will need to have at least a working knowledge of these things – and likewise, I love sex toys (as the 13+ years of sex toy reviews on this blog can attest!) and only want to have sex with people who are similarly enthusiastic about them, or are, at the very least, chill as hell about them.

If you, too, view toy-positivity as a vital trait in your potential paramours, here are some pro tips that just might help you suss out your crush’s views on sex toys. (Frankly, many of these tips could also be used to vet for kinkiness, among other things!)

 

Bring up a news story

If you don’t follow the sex toy beat as obsessively as I do (and why would you?), you might not know that sex toys are in the news pretty much every day. Even just scrolling up through my recent text chain with my dad (who follows a lot of news sources and often sends me sex toy-related things when he sees them), I see a story about a domestic boom in China’s sex toy industry, one about a malfunctioning sex toy causing a house fire in Staten Island, an article in which an ER doctor warned against the usage of urethral sounds, and one about a thrift store that accidentally put some metal butt plugs out for sale labeled as doorknobs.

There’s not always an easy or natural way to bring up a news story, but you can pretend to come across it on your phone while you’re with your crush and watch their reaction when you tell them about it – or you can do what I do, as an unabashed news nerd, and simply launch into a speech like, “I was just reading this news story about a case of vibrators that fell off a cargo ship… Isn’t that so tragic? I feel bad for the people who don’t get to have their vibrators now!” Watch for any microexpressions or protestations that give them away as being vibe-phobic!

 

Bring up a past memory

Tread carefully with this one, because some people are not gonna want to hear a sex story about your ex… but I’ve occasionally gotten good mileage out of casually telling an anecdote that is instructive about what not to do, e.g. “One time I hooked up with this guy who said that me using a vibrator during sex was ‘weird,’ and that made me so mad that I never fucked him again!” (Naturally, as with any anecdote that could be deemed inappropriate or sensitive, you gotta pick your moments to bring up this kind of thing. I’d only tend to tell a story like this if our conversation had already veered in a sexual direction.)

That being said, positive (or even neutral) anecdotes about sex toys can be instructive too. For instance, I remember once telling a crush a story about the time a security guard at a music venue found a dildo in my bag as I was trying to get into a rock concert. The dildo itself, and my reasons for having it, aren’t what the story is about, exactly – it’s about the awkward-but-funny interaction I had with the security guard over it – but if a person was uncomfortable with dildos, that would likely be evident in their reaction (or pointedly blank non-reaction, as the case may be!).

 

Bring up (or queue up) a media reference

Look, who even cares that the rabbit vibrator episode of Sex & the City aired a whopping 27 years ago?! You can still be like, “Ooh, wanna watch an episode of one of my favorite shows with me?” and then just ‘happen’ to choose the episode where Charlotte uses a rabbit vibe. Or the one where Samantha uses a wand vibe. Or the… other one where Samantha uses a different wand vibe. (I know too much about the history of wand vibes, evidently…)

There are, of course, plenty of other media depictions of sex toys, from the strap-on in Broad City to the sex doll in Lars & the Real Girl to the butt plug-shaped trophy in Everything Everywhere All At Once. While a person may not come right out and say “I disapprove of what is being portrayed!” their reaction may still give you some useful data to add to the pile.

 

Walk past (or into) a sex shop

Say you’re out on a date, and en route from dinner to a nightcap, you happen to stroll past a sex shop. You could comment with curious wonder (or experienced approval) on whatever you see in the window, could take the opportunity to tell a toy-related anecdote (see above), or could even flash your crush an impish smile and say, “Wanna go in?”

I often find it amazingly informative – not to mention hot – to wander through a sex shop with someone I’m newly interested in. There are so many conversation-sparking comments and questions you can spout about anything and everything that you see around you: “Ooh, I love this one!” “Have you ever tried this kind of thing?” “OMG, I’ve always wondered what these feel like.” “Does this intrigue you at all?” “Wow, that’s beautiful.” “What’s the most you would ever spend on a sex toy?” “I remember the first time I went into a sex shop…” “I wonder if this place is hiring!” However they respond to any of this, it will be very telling.

It’s also telling to observe which items in the store catch their eye – what do they go up to and stare at, what do they ask questions about, what toy packaging or lube labels do they scrutinize? Use your best judgment to decide when it’s appropriate to comment on this kind of stuff; I probably wouldn’t go up to a crush who was eying the enemas and say, “Thinking about cleaning your butt out, huh?” for instance, because being in a sex shop at all is vulnerable enough for most people as-is, without some well-meaning sex-positive scamp narrating your idle musings aloud!

 

Just fuckin’ ask

You really gotta read the room on this one, and hopefully you’ve established enough rapport that this doesn’t come across as unhingedly out-of-touch, but sometimes you can really just say something like, “What are your views on sex toys? I love them and have a bunch of them.”

With personal questions like this, I often recommend that you answer the question yourself upfront, as in that example. It’s a good-faith demonstration that you’re asking them to step out on a limb that you yourself will also willingly step onto. It’s also an opportunity to set the tone for what kind of answer you’re expecting, so that hopefully, even if they have an objection of some kind, they will voice it calmly and non-judgmentally.

As with all of these suggestions, it’s important to remember: If it does turn out that your crush has beef with sex toys, it’s good to know that ASAP, so you can make decisions accordingly, ideally before putting a label on things, developing a strong emotional attachment, or falling in love. You deserve pleasure, and you deserve to be partnered with people who care about your pleasure, instead of being suspicious or resentful of it – and so it is absolutely valid to want to filter out the vibrator-haters however and whenever you can.

 

How do you like to vet new partners for their chillness with regards to sex toys?

 

This post contains sponsored links. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.