Author: Kate Sloan

Book Review: Serving Him

Kate Sloan

I felt pretty starstruck when I saw Rachel Kramer Bussel at the Feminist Porn Conference, because I’ve been reading her erotica anthologies for years and I’ve determined that we are more-or-less sexually in sync – at least, if her story selections are anything to go by. We dig the same sexual acts, the same turns of phrase. So I always gravitate toward RKB over any other anthology editor, because I know I can count on her to deliver something that’ll turn me on. Serving Him is indeed edited by RKB, but I don’t feel quite the same about it as I feel about some of her other works.

I judge erotica anthologies by how many stories bore me versus how many make me put my hand in my panties, and this book has a medium score on that scale. As the title suggests, it’s full of juicy short stories about dominant men and submissive women (yes, this is a hetero-oriented tome).

Some favorite stories of mine include Lori Selke’s “What You Deserve,” which features fancy food and spanking; Maxine Marsh’s “Tackling Jessica,” in which a football move becomes a fantasy; and J. Sinclaire’s “Duo,” a delightfully smutty MMF three-way.

Some stories in this book contain elements that drain the arousal right out of me – breath-play, humiliation, and dubious consent, for example. While there are obviously folks for whom these things are the height of hotness, it actually made me somewhat anxious to read about them. The Tumblr social justice community has embraced “trigger warnings” wholeheartedly, and I’m wondering if it’s time for kinky/edgy erotica anthologies to do the same thing – sort of in the same vein as how Yes Means Yes uses themed keywords to help you decide which chapters you want to read and which you want to skip.

I also found there were some stories which focused overwhelmingly on the psychological aspects of Dom/sub dynamics, with very little actual smut. This, again, is something that doesn’t hit the spot for me, but may be perfect for folks who find the non-bedroom parts of D/s relationships just as exciting as the actual sexual encounters. To each their own, right?

I should note that I like Dom/sub scenarios, contrary to what this review might indicate. But I guess I only like ‘em when they’re focused on sex and maybe a little spanking – the other stuff is peripheral or antithetical to my personal sexuality, while it might be central to others’.

Thanks so much to Cleis Press for sending me Serving Him to review!

Review: Tantus Pack ‘n’ Play #1

Kate Sloan

I used to cringe over realistic dildos, but now I am staunchly in favor of them. The Tantus Pack ‘n’ Play #1 is one such dildo and, predictably for Tantus, it’s lovely.

For those who don’t know what a “pack ‘n’ play” is, let me bring you up to speed: it’s a (usually realistic) dildo that’s flexible enough to be “packed” (worn under clothes, in a harness) but still firm enough that it can be used for “play” (i.e. fucking) as necessary. They’re great for trans guys seeking to deal with dysphoria, so I hear, but they’re also ideal for anyone of any gender who plans on engaging in strap-on play and wants to have their cock at the ready – maybe after a dinner date or something. They’re really quite an ingenious invention.

At least, in theory. This Tantus pack ‘n’ play works wonderfully for play but leaves something to be desired in the packing department. It’s squishy, yeah, but not so much that you can wear it under close-fitting pants without looking like you have a boner. If that’s the look you’re going for, more power to you, but it’s far from discreet.

The squishiness is perfection and I dearly hope Tantus will come out with more toys that have this VixSkin-like flexibility. It’s much more comfortable than their O2 formulation, if you ask me, but it’s still got enough firmness that it doesn’t feel wimpy in my vag.

This toy is a total A-spot champ, which is great for me because I’m obsessed with A-spot stimulation. It has the holy duality of oh-fuck-yes A-spot power: long enough to reach the spot (6.5" insertable) and soft enough to avoid upsetting my cervix when inserted all the way.

This is actually the first toy that’s caused me to notice the hyper-lubricating effect described by the A-spot’s discoverer, Dr. Chua Chee Ann: the Pack ‘n’ Play #1 always seems to be dripping with lady-come when I’m done using it. (Uh, is that TMI?) Sometimes I look at it and I’m like, “What the fuck?!” but I guess that means the toy is doing its job.

Initial insertion is always a bit painful with this toy. Its widest diameter is 1.75" and that happens fairly soon in the insertion process, right where the head meets the shaft. Tiny-vagina’ed folks, beware!

However, that swollen head, once inserted, presses super-snugly against my G-spot, so it’s worth the small amount of pain involved.

The toy’s base is chunky and easy to grab onto and thrust with. I have done some seriously speedy thrusting while using this bad boy, because that’s the kind of action my A-spot craves when I’m getting close to coming, and it has yet to slip out of my grasp at any point. Yay.

If you are intrigued by the shape of this toy but you want something firmer, the Vamp is just about identical except that it’s made of straight-up silicone, not dual-density, and is a paler color (because it’s meant to be a vampire dick, duh). The Vamp I have is older, so it has a shorter and narrower shaft than the Pack ‘n’ Play, but it’s since been updated, so if you order a Vamp now, it’ll be the exact same size and shape as the toy I’m reviewing.

One issue with dual-density silicone that kind of sucks: the bottom of the base inexplicably starts to dome outward after some time. (I’m using the word “inexplicable” because that’s how it feels to me, although I’m sure there is some sciencey explanation for it.) This means that my Pack ‘n’ Play acts like a bobblehead: if I nudge it while it’s standing up, it sways back and forth but doesn’t quite fall over. If my other dual-density dildos are any indication, this problem will get worse as time goes on, until eventually the dildo can’t stand up on its own at all. That won’t matter to most folks, though.

My A-spot is smitten with the Pack ‘n’ Play #1, even though it doesn’t perform very well as a packer and doesn’t do much for any other part of my vagina. Ah well; sometimes you fall in love with a toy for one very specific usage and turn a blind eye to its other issues. For the average consumer, though, I’d recommend the Tsunami instead: despite its strange appearance, it’s actually a far more versatile toy than the Pack ‘n’ Play.

Thank you so much to Tantus for sending me this toy!

Review: Vixen Creations Leo

Kate Sloan

Happy Halloween, nerds!!!

The Vixen Creations Leo is undeniably one of my favorite dildos ever – and not just because mine happens to be a limited-edition “Batcock.” No, this would be a marvelous dildo even if it wasn’t bright orange and emblazoned with spooky flying bats. (Although, come on, that is pretty cool.)

Leo is the perfect size for my vag. It’s 1 ½" wide at the bulge of the head and a teensy bit narrower through the shaft, and it’s 7" long. Stunning. Stellar. Fabulous. Flawless.

Its head is only slightly defined, but there is a wrinkly faux-foreskin where the head meets the shaft that is really the crowning glory of Leo. When I describe the texture, it might not sound great – it’s slightly scratchy, a little bit rough – but it is harmless and actually weirdly pleasurable. You need lube, of course, but Leo’s foreskin produces a texture-fuelled feeling unlike any other dildo I own, and that’s pretty nifty.

Vixen’s regular silicone may not be quite as terrific as their well-loved VixSkin material, but it’s pretty damn good as far as silicone formulations go. It’s the perfect meeting point between squishy and firm. (I’m using the word “perfect” a lot in this review, have you noticed? Damn…)

I like to use Leo as a warm-up dildo when I’m planning on transitioning to something huge – but it’s obviously excellent in its own right. When I have my monthly craving for realistic dildos, Leo is always included in that desire, because its shape and size are just simply the epitome of an ideal cock.

Fun facts about Leo:

1. If you’ve ever seen a porn scene starring Roger Wood, you’ve probably seen the Leo. He’s used it in every scene I’ve seen him in, and it seems to perform astonishingly well in a strap-on.

2. It shares a name with Harry Connick Jr.’s character on Will & Grace, so if you’ve ever had a crush on that dude, you can go to town with fantasies while using this toy. (Do you like my extremely dated TV reference? I spend too much time watching old DVD box sets, evidently.)

3. MINE HAS BATS ON IT. BATS! But also, you can get it in purple or black these days, and Vixen’s silicone has a kind of sparkly/twinkly quality to it, so those colors are gorgeous, not boring. Pinky-swear.

In conclusion: buy a Leo. It will make your orifice(s) happy.

This review wasn’t sponsored by anyone, I just thought you should have something nice and spooky to read on Halloween. Kisses!

Review: Wake-Up Vibe

Kate Sloan

I am a notoriously deep sleeper. I have been known to deactivate alarm clocks in my sleep and then wake up hours later saying, “What the hell? Why didn’t my alarm clock wake me up?!” I have missed many a morning class because the quality of my sleep is akin to that of a hibernating bear.

So I was intrigued by the Wake-Up Vibe, though admittedly skeptical. If loud radio announcers or blaring calypso music couldn’t get me up-and-at-‘em, how could vibration do it?

The Wake-Up Vibe is made of ABS plastic covered in soft, smooth silicone. It has a little display which shows the time and allows you to set the alarm. There are five buttons: left, right, up, down, and middle. It’s not immediately obvious how to go about setting the clock, setting the alarm, and turning the vibe on, but the accompanying instruction booklet explains all this stuff very clearly, so read it and you’ll be good.

It comes with a black storage bag which leaves little black smudges on the toy’s surface (you can sort of see this in the photo above). I don’t know why it does this; it shouldn’t, if it’s real silicone, so maybe it isn’t. It also comes with a cute pink sleep-mask and several international adaptors for its charger.

The vibe is shaped in a gentle curve that matches the shape of my mons, coming to a halt in a little ball that is meant to rest on the clit. (You can also position the vibe so that the tip is against your vaginal opening, if that’s more your style.) It stays in place very well all night long if I’m wearing underwear, but it’s totally impossible to wear this vibe without panties or some other close-fitting lower-body garment. I sort of wish there was another way, since I prefer to sleep naked or at least bottomless, but any other way would probably involve all-night vaginal penetration, which wouldn’t be ideal either.

You can set the vibe to start at a low speed and work its way up, thereby waking you up gently and slowly. You can also increase the minimum speed so it’ll start stronger, waking you up with more of a jolt (which I need). It has several patterns – pulses, waves, etc. – so you can pick the one that works best for you. While I’m normally not a fan of vibration patterns, I do find them more effective than straight vibration for shocking me out of a deep sleep. Nothin’ like sudden quick pulses right on your clit to rouse you from slumber.

And rouse me, it does. Sometimes I have some kind of sexual mini-dream just before waking as a result of the vibrations, something weird like Jim Parsons tapping a pen against my clit or my best friend inexplicably going down on me. But then I’m awakened.

The Wake-Up Vibe doesn’t turn me on. I don’t wake up with a ladyboner, even when I’ve had one of those illicit dreamlets. I just feel shocked out of sleep, adrenaline-flooded, just like when your alarm clock suddenly starts blaring pop music at precisely 7:00 AM.

You can also use the Wake-Up Vibe as a regular vibrator, though I don’t see why you would want to. It’s an awkward shape to hold onto with your hand, and the vibrations are buzzy and passable but not especially satisfying. I have tried in vain to get off with this thing and it has not happened – but, to be fair, that isn’t necessarily its goal. If this toy did turn me on in the morning, which it doesn’t, I’d just shut it off and reach for another vibe to finish the job.

I don’t think the Wake-Up Vibe is ideal for someone who needs to get up at a specific time; there’s too much risk that you’ll stay asleep, or that you won’t wake up until the vibrations ramp up to their maximum strength. This is really a better choice for those days when you can sleep in and want to be awakened sweetly, slowly, gently. And if you’re expecting to have an orgasm just as you open your eyes to greet the day, well, look elsewhere, ’cause this vibe can’t finish what it starts.

Merci, PinkCherry!

Where I Keep My Sex Toys

Kate Sloan

I’ve written about my sex toy storage situation before, but that was over a year ago and a lot has changed. My collection has grown significantly bigger, to the point that I had to pick up an additional small set of drawers at Ikea to keep it all in.

I will warn you right now that these pictures are MESSY. I have no discipline for neatness! But at least the system is functional: I can always find what I’m looking for.

This is the top drawer of my plastic set of drawers. It contains favorites that I reach for often: my Patchy Paul, Lelo Siri, VixSkin Mustang, NobEssence Fling, Pure Wand, Acute, and a few others. The Sqweel is in there, not because I use it a ton, but because when I’m craving it, I want it immediately.

This next drawer is chaotic as hell. It contains all my Kegel toys and anal toys, plus lube samples, bullet vibes, and a huge amount of toy-cleaning wipes left over from the days when I used to receive stuff from an unethical sex shop that shall not be named.

Some of the few toys you can actually see in this photo: the Magic Banana, small Ripple, Eclipse balls, and Icicles no. 26. You’ll notice that most of the silicone ones are wrapped in plastic bags – that’s to prevent them from gathering lint.

The next drawer is a large one, so I use it for one of the most well-represented categories in my sex toy collection: silicone dildos. On top, you can see the Maverick, Curve, Raquel, Leoweenie, and El Diablo. There are several more layers of dildos beneath those.

Again, I mostly keep these wrapped in plastic bags to prevent lint from getting all over them (and to keep the lower-quality ones from potentially melting into each other). I keep some of my VixSkin toys in their original plastic tubes, because they’re kind of cool, but it’s not the most practical solution because of how much space it takes up.

The bottom drawer of my plastic set isn’t pictured, because it’s currently jammed and won’t open up all the way (?), but incase you were wondering, it contains condoms, porn DVDs, and some naked Instax photos of my friends and I.

Over to the metal set of drawers. The top one is for vibrators I don’t use very often, if at all. You can see the Stronic Eins (which should probably be upgraded to my “favorites” drawer, honestly), LayaSpot, Personal Pleasurizer, Ocean, Turbo Glider, and Iconic Rabbit. There are also lots of Lelo vibes in there that are in their storage bags, like the Gigi, Gigi 2, and Lyla 2.

The next drawer is for dildos made of unusual (i.e. non-silicone) materials. For example, I’ve got the glass Amethyst and Large Smiley, some wood toys by Knotty Wood Arts, the aluminum Revolve, the ceramic Pleasure, and the stainless steel Fun Wand. These are all toys that I don’t use very often, but it’s nice to pull them out every once in a while.

The next drawer is supposed to be for harnesses and anything else I might need for strap-on play. In this photo, all that’s in there is my RodeoH harness and the paraphernalia that came with it, but soon I’ll be keeping my new Bend Over Beginner kit in there too. (I also have a dream that one day I will own an Aslan Jaguar, but for now, no such luck!)

This drawer is for men’s toys (and a random We-Vibe charger?), the Fleshlight STU and VerSpanken. My boyfriend recently moved into a new living situation that’s got more privacy and storage space than where he used to live, so he’ll probably take these to his own place soon… Well, he’ll take the Fleshlight, anyway. I’m pretty sure he wishes I would just throw the VerSpanken in the garbage.

This drawer currently contains only my enema. I’m not sure yet what else should go in here. Any ideas? Leave ‘em in the comments!

The bottom drawer is reserved for massager-style vibes. You can see my antique 1960s vibrator as well as my Bodywand, Fairy Mini Wand, and Lelo Smart Wand. I also have a Hitachi, Wahl, and Eroscillator, but those are kept next to my bed.

Other things I keep next to my bed at all times: several different kinds of lube and whatever toy(s) I am currently testing for review. Above my bed, on a curtain rod, all my paddles are hanging.

How do you store your sex toys? Are they organized, or are they kind of all over the place? Do you have any suggestions for how I can improve or change my system?