Author: Kate Sloan

I Masturbated With My Best Friends and It Made Me Smile

Kate Sloan

My two closest lady-friends are two of the most sex-positive people I know. One of them is poly and does feminist porn; the other was raised in a kink-positive lesbian household and comes with me to Pride every single year. Obviously, I have good taste in friends.

Not too long ago, we were having a “girls’ night in,” as we often do, but things were just getting… raunchier than usual. Maybe it was the wine and rum we were downing, or maybe it was just one of those hot summer nights that makes you want to be sleazily open-minded. Either way, it was a rather sexier evening than I was used to spending with these ladies.

First we were chatting about porn; next we had taken off our clothes; shortly after that, we started photographing each other’s naughty bits on my instant camera; and sometime after that, it was suggested that we masturbate side-by-side.

The only folks who’d ever seen me jerk off were lovers of mine and strangers on the internet (who never even saw my face), so this was a new and ever-so-slightly intimidating prospect for me.

We drank a little more, turned the lights out, laid on our backs on the floor of my friend’s basement, and got down to business.

At first, I was unsure if I’d be able to reach orgasm. I didn’t have any toys with me, and it’d been a long while (as in, several months) since I’d gotten myself off with just my hands. My fingers felt fumbling and inadequate.

However, then one of my friends started having an audible orgasm just a few feet away from me. I have always found “sex sounds” to be the biggest turn-on – bigger than visuals, sometimes bigger than actually being touched – so this helped a hell of a lot. I found myself spilling over the edge of orgasm within thirty seconds or so.

That same friend came again a couple minutes later (which I listened to with jealous ears, being pretty mono-orgasmic myself). As for our other friend, it turned out she had fallen asleep. I guess she’d had a long day. And also was extremely drunk.

At some point, one of us said, “We should do this again soon, but with toys.” And then someone else said, “This is like… the culmination of our entire friendship.” It’s true, it kind of was. It’s surprising that it never occurred to us to do this before, actually.

So, I had a fun group masturbation experience and I’m looking forward to doing it again!

Have you ever masturbated with friends/non-lovers before? Did you enjoy it?

Photo by Keith Hamm.

Sharing the Sexy #26

Kate Sloan

• Photographs of fucking machines!

• Vaguely relevant things I fell in love with on Etsy this week: super cute reusable menstrual pads and feminist-themed knitwear.

• 5 bad things men learn from porn.

• A review of an electro-sex urethral probe. Not for the faint of heart, but certainly interesting!

• This photographer is putting together a body-positive book about vulvas and needs your donations to make it happen.

• Here are 30 eye-opening examples of cisgender privilege.

• This study found that 30% of men are threatened by vibrators. (The article acts like that’s not a lot, but frankly, it’s way more than it should be.)

• The man with the smallest penis in Brooklyn talks about media influence, body confidence, and why he entered a small penis contest.

• Have you ever had an orgasm while exercising?

Review: Tantus Cush O2

Kate Sloan

I have been eyeing the Cush O2 for a long time, but always feared it wouldn’t fit inside me. It seems to be a favorite of reviewers who proudly identify as size queens – which I most definitely do not.

However, one day the wonderful folks at Tantus offered me an item of my choosing, and I just couldn’t get my eye off the Cush.

It’s a beautiful dual-density silicone dildo that comes in your choice of pink, purple, or blue. Tantus sent me the blue, which is my favorite color (how did they know?!).

At 1 ¾" in diameter, Cush is a pretty girthy dude. The squishy outer layer of silicone helps a little, but O2 is significantly firmer than VixSkin, so you can really feel the entirety of that girth. Small-vagina’ed folks, don’t buy Cush thinking you’ll be able to wrassle it into your pussy more easily because of its squish, because it doesn’t have much.

One of my favorite features of the Cush is its tapered tip. Much like a well-designed butt plug, the Cush’s tip allows it to slide into me with minimal discomfort. (I do, however, still recommend warming up with a smaller dildo first if this is your first foray into toys of this girth.)

The Cush’s big, defined head presses up against my G-spot with little effort, and if I push it deep enough inside, it can nudge my A-spot as well. The squishiness of the tip means I don’t injure my cervix even if I attempt some fairly enthusiastic A-spot stimulation with this toy.

I find that I don’t thrust a lot with Cush. The silicone feels draggy, even with lube, and my vagina gets a little overwhelmed by that texture paired with the toy’s girth. Instead, I like to slide it in all the way and then rhythmically tap or slap the base with my hand. This feels really good, even though the toy is barely moving at all. The girth basically does all the work for me, stimulating my G-spot and my whole vagina without me really having to do anything.

One of the Cush’s claims to fame is the slightly sharp ridge toward the bottom of its shaft. Some reviewers love how this ridge rubs their G-spot or the front wall of their vagina. As for me, my vag is short, so even when I’m extremely aroused, that ridge still sits at my vaginal opening and won’t go in any further. If you find yourself lusting after Cush for the ridge, you might want to measure your vagina’s depth before you buy, so you don’t end up disappointed! (The ridge is about 4 ½" down the shaft.)

I love Cush’s base. It’s thick, firm, and sublimely easy to grab and thrust with. It would also make this toy work great in a harness (a claim which I unfortunately can’t prove for myself because I don’t have a willing strap-on sex partner!).

I was fearful when I first decided to take on the challenge of the Cush O2, but I’m glad I did. It gives my vagina something nice and thick to clench around, and it works magic on my A-spot in particular. I have to admit that I sometimes wish O2 was squishier, like VixSkin, but at the same time, it’s sort of nice to have differing dual-density options. If you like girth, I’m pretty sure you’ll love the Cush!

Thank you so much to Tantus for sending me this great toy!

Review: Fun Factory LayaSpot

Kate Sloan

I was happy when I got offered a Fun Factory LayaSpot, because I’ve been wanting one ever since I saw one used in Sex is Fun’s “How to Use a Dildo” video. (Thanks, SiF, for teaching me how awesome it is to combine dildos with clit vibes when I was only 14!) I trusted that it would be a good toy if my favorite sex educators had used it.

Wrong. It’s actually just an average battery-powered vibe.

I’ve recently had the opportunity to try out a couple of Fun Factory’s older vibes, from back when they were still making battery-powered toys (as opposed to the amazing creations they churn out nowadays). I tried the LayaSpot and the old version of the Ocean, and both disappointed me. They are lacking in power and it makes my clit sad.

The LayaSpot’s first speed is so low, it’s laughable. It feels like there is an insect buzzing somewhere vaguely close to my skin.

The other speeds border on passable – they’re akin to the middling speeds on a rechargeable vibe, I guess – but they’re so buzzy that I go numb very quickly when I use ‘em. It also feels like the vibrations are somewhat buried in the toy, instead of being located at the surface where they should be.

There are a total of 8 speeds and 3 different modes of vibration. None of them have been enough to get me off, but my clit needs a fair amount of power. More sensitive anatomy might have an easier time with this toy.

To the LayaSpot’s credit, it is a very ergonomically and cleverly shaped toy. It feels good in the hand and curves nicely against the pubic mound, arcing right into the clit. I would have no objections whatsoever if Fun Factory was to update the LayaSpot and make it rechargeable, strong, and rumbly. I think it would easily be one of the best clit vibes available if they did that, especially for people who like their clit stimulation neither broad nor pinpointed but somewhere in between.

The non-porous and phthalate-free exterior of LayaSpot comes in about a zillion different colors. Mine is light pink and dark pink, but you can also get it in various other quirky combinations. Fun Factory’s color choices are always appreciable, as my lime green Patchy Paul and bright turquoise Ocean can attest.

Overall, while I really enjoy the LayaSpot’s shape, size, and appearance, its motor just doesn’t cut the mustard. The vibrations are too weak and surfacey to get me off, plus they’re fairly loud, despite FF’s marketing claims of a “strong, quiet” motor. I really wish they would overhaul this vibe as a rechargeable, because I would buy the shit out of that.

Sharing the Sexy #25

Kate Sloan

• Are tampons anti-feminist? (Um, I think not.)

• Here’s an interesting article on preferred gender pronouns.

• Wow – a great list of things many men don’t understand about women sexually.

• Did you know forced washing fetishes are a thing?

• Does faking orgasms lead to “polluting the sexual environment”?

• A trans lady wrote a list of 10 things she wishes she’d known before transitioning.

• Al Vernacchio has a new sexual metaphor to suggest as a replacement for the prevalent baseball metaphors our culture uses.

• Here is a cool up-close video of a woman having an orgasm via clitoral massage. Not only is it hot, but it’s also interesting to see the way her muscles contract when she comes!