Author: Kate Sloan

3 Science-Backed Fun Facts About Bisexuals

Kate Sloan
The bi pride flag, designed by Michael Page in 1998

I love bisexuals, and I’m proud to be bi, myself!

Being a sex science nerd, I’ve encountered a lot of information about how bi people have worse mental health outcomes than straights and gays, are often ostracized and disbelieved, etc.

While it’s super important for that type of research to exist, today I felt like highlighting some scientific findings about bi people that are, shall we say, a little more fun. I hereby give you permission to use these as openers the next time you’re flirting with a fellow bi person, whether on a dating app for bisexual people or anywhere else!

 

Bi men sound masc as hell

Australian researchers Morandi et al. published a 2023 study called “BIDAR: Can Listeners Detect if a Man Is Bisexual from His Voice Alone?” in which they played recordings of men’s voices – some gay men, some bi men, and some straight men – to their 70 participants, who then had to guess the sexual orientation of each man and rate how masculine he sounded.

As many bisexuals already know well, stereotyping sucks and “masculinity” is a construct… but I did find it interesting that the bisexual men were “perceived as the most masculine-sounding of all the speakers”! I imagine many people would assume that the straight men would “sound the most masculine,” but that wasn’t the case. (Worth noting here that “sounding masculine” is not the same thing as being masculine, or as self-identifying that way.)

This made me think about a Dan Savage theory I heard years ago, that bi men may be more self-assured than both straight and gay men, because they aren’t as beholden to the restrictive masculinity norms enforced by both straight and gay communities. I’m not sure how true that is, but it’s certainly thought-provoking!

 

Each generation gets more bi

Maybe the kids are alright! According to a 2023 paper called “The Rise of Bisexuality” in the Journal of Sex Research, over 6% of people in the 18-29 age range now identify as bisexual, versus less than 2% of people over the age of 40. Newer research shows even bigger differences: a 2024 PRRI survey found that 7% of millennials and 15% of Gen Z self-identify as bi – versus Gen X’ers, Baby Boomers, and the Silent Generation, of which 2% or fewer identify as bisexual.

These stats are bittersweet, because the likeliest explanation is simply that there’s more widespread knowledge and acceptance of bisexuality now, making it easier for bisexuals to come to terms with their identity and come out (if and when they want to). My hope is that the influx of bi-identifying youth will inspire older generations to finally kick open that closet door.

 

Bi women are the likeliest to use vibrators

Yep, it’s true! The Journal of Sexual Medicine published a study by Herbenick et al. in 2009 which showed that 79% of bi women had used a vibrator, versus 70% of gay women and 50% of straight women. More recently, a 2015 survey by Schick, Herbenick, et al. in the same journal found that bisexual and pansexual women use vibrators at higher rates than women who identify as lesbian, queer, or questioning.

I’m not sure what explains this, exactly. If diverging from the beaten path of heteronormativity makes someone likelier to love sex toys, then theoretically lesbians would be using them at higher rates than bisexuals. But women who have sex with men are the likeliest to “need” sex toys, in that traditional hetero sex doesn’t focus on clitoral stimulation as much as many women need/prefer – so maybe bi women are more open to sex toys because of their queerness, and more likely to actually use them because they’re having PIV more often than lesbians. Either way, it’s an interesting factoid to bust out at your next queer sex party!

 

What are your favorite facts about bisexuals?

 

This post was sponsored by the sex-positive dating app Flure, where you can find lots of bisexuals, among others!

“Echoes of Wisdom” is a Feminist Allegory

Kate Sloan

One of the nice things about having my own blog is that I get to write about whatever the hell I want, and nobody can stop me! And today, I feel like talking to you about video games. One video game in particular, actually: Echoes of Wisdom, the latest addition to the Legend of Zelda series.

I’m no old-school Zelda nerd, having hopped onto this game franchise’s bandwagon with 2017’s Breath of the Wild, the open-world adventure often heralded as one of the best video games of all time. But I’ve become a big enough fan since BotW that I was thrilled when the team announced Echoes of Wisdom – especially since it’s the first main-line Zelda game where you actually get to play as Zelda.

Inevitably, there was Discourse about this choice. I didn’t go looking for it, because I’ve read more than enough “Women ruin everything with wOkE!!1!” tweets to last me a lifetime. Never mind that the series’s usual hero, Link, was specifically designed to be androgynous-looking so that players of all genders could relate to him better – there will always be gamer bros who think diversity and social progress are the enemy, and I’m happy to let them keep playing in their tiny little sandboxes while the rest of the world grows up and moves on.

I follow many Twitch gamer boys who are not insufferable misogynist assholes, however, and I found it delightful to watch their first playthroughs of Echoes. No one said a damn thing about it being weird to play as a girl. Instead, some of them exclaimed, with smiles gleaming and controllers clacking, “It’s so cool that you get to play as Zelda in this one!”

Having played through Echoes myself, I see it as a feminist allegory – and not just because you play as Zelda. I have no idea how intentional this was on the part of the creators, but I do know that this is the first Zelda game to have been directed by a woman, which is telling!

Let me give you a breakdown of some of the things I noticed when playing Echoes through a feminist lens. (Spoilers ahead!)

Your (evil) heroes & protectors

(Content note: brief mention of sexual assault + harassment)

In some of the first plot points of the game, Link – who has rescued Zelda from harm countless times before, and is her literal heaven-sent protector – gets stolen away by an evil entity. Left in his place is a body-snatcher-style copy of Link, who has all of Link’s raw power and battle skill, but none of his warmth and goodness. His eyes, once friendly and kind, glow red with rage now. He may have saved her life a hundred times, but now he wants to end it.

“Dark Link” is one of the first bosses you face in the game, and I found this fight genuinely chilling. It reminded me, viscerally, of all the times a seemingly-trustworthy man has shown me his true colors – whether by sending unsolicited dick pics to my friends, going on a random slut-shaming tirade, or (yup) touching me in ways I hadn’t consented to. It’s deeply unsettling when this happens, and it can and does shake the very foundations of my ability to trust anyone.

Similarly, Zelda’s own father – the king of Hyrule – is also replaced by an evil body-double, who immediately declares Zelda a criminal and has her thrown in jail. All of the men Zelda should be able to trust are working against her at every turn, with hatred in their hearts. Like, damn; what a #relatable #mood.

Resourcefulness as a virtue

The main gameplay mechanic in Echoes is the ability to create, well, echoes – illusory copies of various objects and monsters, which you can use for both combat and puzzle-solving throughout the game. This stands in stark contrast to most Zelda games, where you play as Link and can raze down enemies yourself, with your sword or bow.

Whereas Link’s god-given power is courage, Zelda’s is wisdom (hence the title of this game). I was reminded, while playing, of the Audre Lorde quote about how “the master’s tools will never dismantle the master’s house.” While I agree with that brilliant sentiment in matters of real-life inclusion and activism, it’s interesting to see how Zelda literally uses the tools of her oppressors against them throughout this game. She can send a flaming bat flying at Dark Link’s head, or hide in a clay pot to sneak past prison guards, or sic a band of murderous lizards on the jacked centaur trying to unalive her – but only after she’s “learned” these echoes, often from her enemies themselves.

This very much reminds me of what some feminists might call “working within the system” or “playing the game” – like when, for instance, a female employee maintains a sweet smile and pleasant demeanor while strategically talking her male boss into giving her a raise, in such a way that he almost ends up thinking it was his idea, since that may be easier on his ego.

There are major limits to this type of strategy, as the Lorde quote makes clear, albeit in a different context (she was talking about race and intersectionality in feminism). But it makes sense to me that someone like Princess Zelda would be shrewd and crafty in fighting her enemies, especially since she doesn’t wield traditional weapons like Link does, and doesn’t have control over the royal military like her father does.

Power is all but inaccessible

Despite being the widely-renowned princess of the realm, Zelda doesn’t have much power, neither physically nor politically. As I’ve described, throughout the game she mainly fights by summoning echoes of objects and monsters that can do direct damage, since she herself cannot.

Well, actually, there is one way that Zelda can do direct damage without summoning an echo… but it involves transforming into Link. (You know that thing about how disguising yourself as a man can help you get ahead as a woman, because the patriarchy is stupid? Yeah, that’s a thing in video games too.)

There’s a mechanic called “Swordfighter Form” in which Zelda becomes a spectral copy of Link, capable of hurting enemies with his sword, bow, and bombs. But crucially, you can only stay in this mode for maybe 10-20 seconds at a time before your “energy” runs out, and you morph back into Zelda. These short bursts of Link-time are especially helpful in boss battles, but Swordfighter “energy” is rare enough that many players (myself included) don’t end up using this mode in normal gameplay very often.

Some of the Twitch boys I follow were very complimentary of the game overall, but noted that it would’ve been more fun if you could take more direct control over combat, like in a traditional Zelda game. They said it sometimes felt tedious to wait around, dodging enemies and watching your echoes beat them up for you, instead of jumping in and joining the fight.

Me, though? I didn’t find those parts of the game tedious at all – maybe because combat is rarely my favorite part of any game, or maybe because watching echoes kill monsters was fun for me in the same way that watching robots fight goblins was fun in Tears of the Kingdom. But even setting aside the gameplay aspect, I think it makes sense thematically for Zelda to only have limited access to power – because she does. We see at the beginning of the game that even being the fucking Princess of Hyrule can’t protect her from anything – her own father throws her in the clink, making up elaborate lies about crimes she’s committed, and everyone just… believes him. Zelda is forced to become a fugitive in her own kingdom, because her father has real power, while she herself – as a princess and a young woman – does not.

So, while those Twitch fellas’ hearts are in the right place, I couldn’t help but chuckle when they said it was frustrating to be stripped of their power and agency. It’s been frustrating for a hell of a lot of women, too – for centuries, or millennia, before the Zelda series was even a twinkle in Aonuma‘s eye.

“She rescues him right back”

The game begins with Link saving Zelda, and ends with Zelda saving Link. I love this; it’s kind of perfect, and reminded me of the end of Pretty Woman, where Richard Gere climbs Julia Roberts’ fire escape like a gallant prince seeking his princess:

Edward: So what happened after he climbed up the tower and rescued her?
Vivian: She rescues him right back.

In Echoes‘ case, some might call it a predictable ending for this Zelda-centric story, and yet it also feels like the only way it could’ve/should’ve ended. And it gestures at one of the biggest lessons I’ve taken away from the feminist movement as a whole: that true progress, safety, and joy are found only through collaboration and interdependence – and that people of all genders need help sometimes, and people of all genders can provide that help. We’re more similar than we are different, and we’re stronger when we acknowledge that.

This isn’t a review of the game, but if it were, I would tell you that it’s fun, engrossing, has cool mechanics and a kickass soundtrack, and encourages creative problem-solving – so, basically, it’s a banger.

But with all of that being said, I think one of the coolest things about Echoes of Wisdom is that it’s a story about womanhood, directed by a woman, in a series where a woman has long been the figurehead and MacGuffin but never the hero. Players have been rescuing poor helpless Zelda for decades; this latest version of her can save her fucking self, something I always wish more women felt empowered to do. But that is why we fight, and that is why we will continue to fight.

Review: Cupsland Twirl 1.0 adjustable stroker

Kate Sloan
Photos in this post via mb bischoff 💋

What is the Cupsland Twirl 1.0?

The Twirl 1.0 is a stroker, and it’s currently the only product made by Cupsland. (More like Cupland, am I right?!) I’m used to reviewing products from companies with wide catalogues, companies that throw spaghetti at the wall all year long to see what sticks; by contrast, Cupsland has put all of their, uh, cups into one basket. But I kinda respect that choice!

You might assume, from the Twirl’s space-agey aesthetic, that it vibrates or squeezes or, indeed, twirls – but this is actually a non-mechanical stroker, meaning that you have to either move it up and down by hand, or anchor it somewhere (like between your bed’s mattress and boxspring) so you can thrust in and out of it. It has a feature Cupsland calls its “patented three-level twirl,” which allows you to adjust the toy’s tightness while you’re using it, by rotating the cap at the end of the toy to one of three tightness settings.

Cupsland wanted me to put the Twirl to the test, so I asked my spouse if she’d mind sticking her dick in it, for science… Let’s discuss the pros and cons we discovered.

A peek at the toy’s internal texture, via Cupsland

Things we like about the Cupsland Twirl 1.0

  • I really do dig the aesthetic of this toy. I think it’s neat that they went with a hyper-modern, stylized look for the outer casing, and a more humanoid, vulva-esque appearance for the sleeve itself.
  • Further, I think the toy’s outer appearance is juuust different enough from your standard Fleshlight that it might not be immediately recognizable to any onlookers, so it’s a bit more discreet than a lot of other strokers I’ve seen.
  • The internal texture features ridges and nubs, and my partner said that these felt surprisingly similar to the naturally ribbed texture of vaginal walls around their dick during PIV. The texture itself is softer and less intense than those of some other strokers she’s tried (including some Fleshlights); she thinks this makes the Twirl more suitable for longer sessions where you want to draw things out, because the texture feels good but not overstimulating to the point of prompting a premature orgasm.
  • The sleeve gets tighter as you get deeper, which felt good for my partner – although she was only able to enjoy the full depth when she took the sleeve out of the toy’s outer casing, for reasons I’ll explain below.
  • Like more and more strokers being produced these days, this one comes with its own drying rod. It’s made of a super absorbent material; just insert it into the toy after washing it out with soap and water, and the drying rod will soak up the moisture, allowing the toy to dry faster and more hygienically. This makes normally-cumbersome cleaning into a somewhat easier process. The toy can even stand up by itself on the rod while it’s drying.

Things we don’t like about the Cupsland Twirl 1.0

  • Our biggest issue with this toy (so to speak) is that it’s simply too small for my partner’s dick. She’s on the larger side (about 7.3″ length x 1.8″ diameter) and was only able to fit about one-third of her cock into the toy, even on the loosest setting with a ton of lube, and it was too uncomfortably tight to be enjoyable. Even inserting 3 fingers felt tight, though, so I imagine this would affect some people with smaller dicks than my spouse’s as well. At one point, she tried removing the squishy inner sleeve from the hard outer case, and just using the sleeve itself as a stroker; this was much comfier/easier and felt a lot better.
  • While Cupsland’s description of the product claims that adjusting its tightness is “effortless,” my spouse found that it was actually really, really hard. It required all of her strength, and she’s the gal I ask for help when I can’t open a pickle jar/wine bottle/dildo box, so I gather it would be impossible for me to do it, with my chronically sore/weak hands. For this reason, this isn’t a very disability-friendly toy, at least if you plan on adjusting the tightness at all (which you should, since that’s the toy’s main feature).
  • As with many strokers, this one is made of a proprietary material (in this case, something called “NaturSKIN”) which is almost certainly porous. This is generally fine for penile toys, because dicks usually aren’t as prone to irritation/infection as vaginas are – but it does mean that the toy won’t last as long as a silicone stroker would, and will cling onto some amount of bacteria even with thorough cleaning.
  • Speaking of cleaning: it’s annoying with the Twirl, as it is with most strokers. The closed-end design of this one makes it slightly more of a hassle than it would otherwise be, although the inclusion of a drying rod (see above) helps make up for this, as does the fact that the sleeve can be flipped inside-out for cleaning.
  • The toy’s $60 price tag is a bit hard to swallow (so to speak), given that it’s non-mechanical and you can get plenty of great non-mechanical strokers for under $40, including some made of non-porous materials.

Final thoughts

While I think the Cupsland Twirl 1.0 has a really cool design and an interesting internal texture, it was ultimately too tight and difficult to use for my partner and I to really be able to enjoy it. She could reach orgasm from stroking herself with the toy’s sleeve, once it was removed from the outer casing, but the sensations weren’t as intense as those she gets with some other strokers.

However, if your penis is small-to-average, and you want a slick-looking, adjustable stroker with a realistic internal texture, the Twirl 1.0 might be exactly what you’re searching for. Why not take it for a twirl? …uh, I mean, a whirl?

 

[Edited to add, on 10/21/2024:] I have a coupon code you can use at Cupsland! Use code “KATESLOAN” at checkout to get 15% off your order 😘

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of the product. As always, everything I’ve written here is what I honestly think.

Review: We-Vibe Wand 2

Kate Sloan

Yep, I’m reviewing another wand. Can’t stop, won’t stop, baby!

Sex toy companies around the globe are always cranking out new wands, because this genre of toy is so popular. But it’s relatively rare that a new wand comes out which I’m actually excited about. The We-Vibe Wand 2 is definitely one of those wands.

As you might have intuited by the “2” at the end of its name, the Wand 2 is an updated version of We-Vibe’s first wand, which they released back in 2019. At the time, I liked it, but didn’t love it – its vibrations were powerful and rumbly, but its intensity was controlled via a joystick-esque button that could be hard to operate, so it didn’t earn a spot in my regular wand rotation.

However, the new Wand 2 has gone back to traditional buttons. It’s also 30 grams lighter and 1.4 inches shorter than the original Wand.

Oh, and it makes me come super hard. (You can listen to the first orgasm I ever had with it, if you don’t believe me.) Let’s talk about the We-Vibe Wand 2!

Things I like about the We-Vibe Wand 2

  • Let’s not bury the lede: this is one of the strongest and rumbliest vibrators I’ve ever tried. It makes me come easily, quickly, and hard, even on its low-to-middle intensity settings, because of how rumbly it is. On its highest setting, the Wand 2 feels stronger than the Fun Factory Vim, though not as rumbly. Its upper settings are rumblier than the Magic Wand Rechargeable‘s, though not quite as strong – I’d say that the highest speed of the MWR just barely exceeds the We-Vibe Wand 2‘s power output. Overall, I’m really, really impressed with this wand’s vibration strength and quality – and my clit enthusiastically agrees!
  • This vibe has 10 intensity levels and 10 vibration patterns; each pattern can be used at any of the 10 intensity levels as well. This gives you a ton of variety to play around with.
  • The controls scheme is easy to pick up: the plus and minus buttons can be held down to turn the toy on or off, respectively, and are also used to change the vibration intensity. The left and right arrow buttons are used to cycle through patterns (which is great, because it means that those of us who prefer steady vibration won’t accidentally stumble into pattern-land). The squiggle button can be held down for 2 seconds to turn Smart Silence on or off (more on that later).
  • While the potatoey shape of the Wand 2’s head is baffling at first glance, it’s surprisingly versatile in use. It’s rounded on one side, but the other side offers more pinpointed edges for those who prefer that type of stimulation (like me!). I find myself experimenting with different angles a lot when using this toy, because the vibration can feel quite different depending on what specific part of the wand’s head is touching your body.
  • Nearly the entire toy is encased in a soft, smooth, matte silicone that plays well with water-based lube and feels sexy to the touch.
  • The curved shape of this wand feels more ergonomic than a straight one, and also makes it easier for me to direct this toy’s vibrations onto my neck/shoulders/etc. for massaging sore muscles.
  • This toy is fully waterproof! That’s extremely rare for a wand this powerful. I could see this being a wonderful bathtime companion.
  • You can connect this toy to the We-Vibe app and control it that way, or even cede control to a long-distance partner. I don’t tend to use wands this way, but I’m glad the option exists!
  • It’s quiet! …for a wand. By which I mean: it would be audible from across a room, but probably not through a closed door, which is more than I can say for many other wands as powerful as this one.

Things I don’t like about the We-Vibe Wand 2

  • There’s a weird thing that happens around the 5th or 6th speed (of 10) where the ultra-rumbly vibrations will seem to glitch out, becoming noticeably buzzier all of a sudden, without me having pressed any additional buttons. The Lelo Smart Wand had this same issue, and I find it just as jarring in the We-Vibe Wand. Now, granted, even the glitched-out, buzzier speed is plenty strong and rumbly enough to get me off, so once I recover from the surprise of my vibrator seeming to malfunction, I just continue using it and it’s fine… but I wish this wouldn’t happen at all.
  • A significant amount of vibration transmits into the handle of the toy, which can feel a bit annoying for my hand/fingers after a while.
  • This toy has We-Vibe’s “Smart Silence” feature, wherein the toy senses whether it’s touching your skin or not, and automatically turns off when you lift it away from your body, then turns back on when it makes contact again. Some people might like this feature, but I find it a bit glitchy and temperamental, so I turned it off by holding down the squiggle button for 2 seconds.
  • I don’t love the look of this wand. It’s “sad purple,” and the (admittedly innovatively-shaped) head just doesn’t look as sexy or sophisticated as some other wands do.
L to R: Fun Factory Vim, We-Vibe Wand 2, Lovehoney Classic Wand, Magic Wand Rechargeable

Final thoughts

If you want sheer power above everything else, I’d still direct you to get a Doxy Die Cast (which plugs into the wall) or a Magic Wand Rechargeable (which can be used either plugged in or not), as those both edge out the We-Vibe Wand 2 in terms of vibration strength – albeit not by much.

However: the We-Vibe Wand 2 has the benefit of being very nearly as strong as those other behemoths, and much rumblier than both – not to mention, a whole lot quieter. And unlike the comparably rumbly Fun Factory Vim, the Wand 2 is fully waterproof. It also has a smooth head that’s gentler on the skin and easier to wash than the Vim’s ridgey one.

I have some minor quibbles with the Wand 2, including that one strange mechanical glitch, which doesn’t even stop me from coming (and coming hard!) with this toy. I also wish it weren’t quite so expensive.

But overall, I think this is an absolutely stellar wand. It’s strong as hell, rumbly as fuck, easy to use, waterproof, relatively quiet, and lives up to We-Vibe’s reputation as makers of high-quality vibrators.

The We-Vibe Wand 2 is available at:

This post was not sponsored, but Lovehoney did gift me the product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: Womanizer Vibe (Womanizer’s First Vibrator!)

Kate Sloan

What is the Womanizer Vibe?

You might know Womanizer as the inventors of pressure-wave technology, which uses rhythmic air pulses to stimulate the clit – or, occasionally, other bits, like the G-spot or even the frenulum of a penis. I reviewed the very first Womanizer back in 2015 and have been following their meteoric rise ever since.

The Vibe is their latest product, and it’s different from anything they’ve done before, because it’s a regular ol’ vibrator, not a pressure-wave toy. Specifically, it’s meant to be a “lay-on” vibrator, meaning that you can lie face-down on top of it, or sit on it, with the tip pressed against your genitals, and then grind against it while it vibrates. (You can use it in other ways, too, but that’s what it’s designed for.)

It’s shaped like your typical Womanizer, but there’s no air nozzle to put on your clit. Instead, there’s a softly pointed tip that’s firm but draped in silicone, which gives it a little squish, similar to the tip of the Dame Kip or We-Vibe Touch.

I’m not much for lay-on vibes in general, but when a big sex toy brand enters a new category, of course I’m gonna be intrigued! So I’ve put the Vibe through its paces and can tell you all about it.

Things I like about the Womanizer Vibe

  • Let it be said: this toy’s vibration is extremely rumbly – by which I mean that its vibrations are low-pitched and satisfying, they stimulate not only the surface of my body but also deeper clitoral structures, and they don’t cause numbness for me like buzzier vibes can. The rumbliness works well whether I’m holding the vibe manually on my clit or grinding against it, even with a fair amount of pressure.
  • This may well be the quietest vibrator I’ve ever used. Ever. Womanizer calls it “noiseless” and “silent,” and I wouldn’t go that far – it’s still a machine, so there’s still some noise involved – but even on the highest speed, I can only hear it at all when it’s less than an arm’s length away from me. Otherwise, it’s inaudible. So, if you’re looking for a super discreet vibrator, I can enthusiastically recommend this one! (It gets louder if you’re grinding against it while it’s pressed against a hard chair, a firm mattress, or similar, but not by much.)
  • The shape of the toy is well-designed for grinding against – as you might expect, since that’s what they made it for! I have a picky clit that prefers to be stimulated through the hood or inner labia, and this toy’s so-called “Pleasure Edges” allow me to line myself up right where it feels the best and grind away. It’s a stark contrast to Womanizer’s pressure-wave toys, which often feel too direct for me. I also love that they covered the whole grindable area of the toy in firm silicone that has just a bit of squish to it – it strikes the right balance between comfort and intensity.
  • Like some other Womanizer toys, this one has an “autopilot mode.” You can activate it by holding down the “~” button for two seconds. When in autopilot, the toy runs through a pre-set vibration program – sort of like a vibration pattern, except longer, more gradual/fluid, and (for me, at least), more enjoyable. I normally don’t like vibration patterns because I find them too jarring and not stimulating enough, but these ones are much more like being teased by an actual human being. And if you find yourself suddenly wanting to take back control of the toy, it’s as easy as pressing down that same button for two seconds again to switch back into manual mode.
  • The overall, uh, hand-feel of this toy is really pleasing. You can tell that these people have done user research and know a thing or two about ergonomics and design. I find this toy comfy to hold, even with my achy hands, and its buttons are placed well for easy access. The silicone is smooth and matte to the touch. It feels sexy in your hand.
  • Speaking of buttons: they’re great. While I wish that I didn’t always have to reach down to press them (more on that below), they are very easy to find by touch alone, because the “+” button is bigger and more raised than the “–” button, and the autopilot button is even smaller and set slightly apart from the first two. I really appreciate the thoughtfulness of this choice and I hope more sex toy companies follow Womanizer’s lead on this one.
  • I haven’t gotten to test it this way yet, but I imagine that the Vibe could work well on (some) penises, if the pointed tip – or the curve just below it – was pressed against the frenulum area, or wherever is most sensitive. It could be gender-affirming for some transfeminine folks to use it, although I still think the Hot Octopuss Pulse and Fun Factory Manta are the best penis vibrators on the market right now.
  • It’s fully waterproof! Yay!

Things I don’t like about the Womanizer Vibe

  • Womanizer has repeatedly emphasized that the Vibe is designed to “avoid overstimulation” and to be less intense than more pinpointed vibrators, and indeed, it’s not as powerful as I wish it was. Even cranked all the way up to the max (10th) speed, I think it’s only about as strong as the first speed (of four) on the Magic Wand Rechargeable, or maybe a little stronger. That being said – as I mentioned before, this vibrator is designed for the user to “lay on” it and grind against it, and it works well for me (i.e. feels good and can get me off) when used in that way. But when I’m just lying on my back and using it like a wand, without moving it against myself at all, it’s not strong enough to get me there.
  • In using the toy as intended (i.e. by lying on it and humping it), I reeeeeally wished it could be controlled via a phone app. It’s annoying to have to reach down between your body and the bed to locate the buttons whenever you want to change the vibration speed. Using the autopilot mode helped a bit with this problem, but sometimes I want more control than that.
  • I got the blue colorway, and while I normally love blue sex toys, this one is a weirdly depressing shade of navyish grey. It’s like the sex toy equivalent of a suit you’d begrudgingly wear to a temp job. But the good news is that it also comes in a springy pale green and a reddish pink.
  • I say this every time I review a Womanizer product, but: I still hate their name. I know changing your company name is a Whole Thing, but dear god, it’s just so bad. Womanizer? Really? In the year of our lord two thousand and twenty-fucking-four? Can we… not?
Size/shape comparison with the Womanizer Next (left) and my beloved Hot Octopuss Pulse Queen (right)

Final thoughts

I’m not a big grinder. Generally I prefer to lie back and let the toy do the work. So, while I may not be the ideal user for the Womanizer Vibe, I’m nonetheless delighted to own one. It’s ultra-rumbly, ultra-quiet, and clearly well-made.

For me, it works best when used as intended. When I’m not in the mood for the physical exertion of humping a vibe, I can still use this toy, but the “lay-on” position is where it really shines. It lacks the sheer power to be stimulating enough as a regular, handheld vibe, unless you’re moving against it – or are quite sensitive.

On that note: you might enjoy the Vibe if you’ve found that typical Womanizer-type toys feel too intense or direct. It allows for a wider variety of approaches and sensations than pressure-wave toys do, and its rumbly vibration is less overwhelming than focused air waves, but the toy is overall shaped very similarly to most Womanizers, so you’ll get all the ergonomic and aesthetic benefits of that.

You should also consider the Vibe if you want a toy that’s basically inaudible – like if you live with family or nosy roommates. And I think it’d make a great gift for beginners to the world of sex toys; it’s understated, easy to use, and starts at a very low speed, so it’s unlikely to intimidate even the newest of newbs.

We need more toys like the Womanizer Vibe in the world: simple, thoughtfully designed, well-made toys that just do what they’re supposed to do. It may not be as flashy as the leopard-print-and-rhinestoned Womanizer I reviewed back in 2015, but it feels a hell of a lot better – and will work for a hell of a lot more people, I suspect.

 

The Womanizer Vibe is available for purchase at:

 

This was not a sponsored review, although Womanizer did gift me the product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.