Beauty & Fashion

Behind the Seams: Yellow Shoes & Pink Wine

Kate Sloan

June 22nd, 2018. It’s become tradition that my Sir chooses my outfit for days when he arrives in Toronto to visit me for a weekend. I mean, he chooses my outfits at plenty of other times, too, but this tradition feels particularly salient because he usually sends me my instructions a few days in advance, and then I get to spend those days picturing how he will remove those specific clothes from my body once we’re finally, finally together again.

I had just bought these new yellow shoes so he wanted me to wear a yellow-centric outfit to complement them. This T-shirt is one of many romantic mementos in our relationship because I bought it at a merch stand at Brooklyn Steel the night he took me to see my favorite band there. I still remember swaying sweatily in that lineup, my eyes fixing on this bright yellow tee that looked as radiantly optimistic as my heart felt that night.

As per usual for Sir’s weekend visits, I got ready far too early because I was far too excited. To pass the time until he finally pulled up at my door, I went on a long walk, then sat on a bench in the sun for a while reading Social Creature, a super striking novel that I loved a whole bunch. Then I tottered back to my apartment building in time to meet Sir out the front, kiss him at the door, kiss him in my elevator, and kiss him lots more in my bed.

What I’m wearing:
• Yellow unisex Hippo Campus T-shirt – bought at their merch table when they played at Brooklyn Steel
• Black denim short-shorts – H&M
• Lotta From Stockholm peeptoe clogs in “Summer Yellow”

June 23rd, 2018. It wouldn’t be a Sir-and-little-one weekend if there wasn’t at least one fancy night out on the sched. Sir chose this outfit for me before we hopped in an Uber to La Banane, a gorgeous French seafood restaurant. We sat at the bar (he always wants to sit at the bar, so we’re closer together and he can touch me more) and he ordered me some orgasmic cocktails and taught me how to eat oysters.

After dinner, we walked over to my friend Anais‘ house for a small get-together with some old pals from high school. It was fun to introduce my love to all these people I’ve known for years. He kept my glass of rosé topped up while we chatted and laughed until late. It was a nerdy group, so we got into heated debates about Harry Potter trivia and Mozart music, natch.

As much as I love being out and about with my daddy, it’s equally nice when we head back to my place and I get to melt into little-space, safe in his arms. I think he hit me with a leather bat a bunch when we arrived back at my apartment, and it was a totally dreamy end to our evening.

What I’m wearing:
• Pink hair scrunchie – American Apparel years ago
• Blue suede collar – L’Amour-Propre
• Black/white/pink rose-print dress – CowCow
• Lotta From Stockholm peeptoe clogs in “Summer Yellow”

June 26th, 2018. On Sir’s last day in Toronto this weekend, we went for lunch with my brother at the Lakeview. I ordered an all-day breakfast special, because bacon and eggs are the food of the gods.

Later, after Sir and I had returned to my apartment for lots more sweet cuddly sex (we’re horndogs, okay), I put on this casual outfit for our traditional end-of-weekend debrief over cocktails at Northwood. He ordered me a Lady Grey Sour and then a Southside, and we cuddled on a church pew, talking about our favorite parts of the weekend and when we planned to see each other next. Then we made out in front of the bar like a couple of teenagers while we waited for his taxi to arrive. I only cried a little as I watched him zoom away toward the airport.

What I’m wearing:
• Pink hair scrunchie – American Apparel
• Blue suede collar – L’Amour-Propre
• Black Apple logo T-shirt – a gift from Sir, bought on a business trip he’d recently been on (he told me it makes me look like a hot Apple Store employee who’s too introverted to work the sales floor and hangs out in the back instead)
• Black hand-me-down’ed Danier Leather jacket adorned with pins from Kinktionary and L’Amour-Propre
• Black shorts – H&M
• Lotta From Stockholm peeptoe clogs in “Summer Yellow”

Behind the Seams: Red Flowers & Pink Bows

Kate Sloan

May 29th, 2018. I wore this out to a café to do a bunch of dayjob work, and then to a ServiceOntario office to get my health card renewed. Sometimes I like to dress cute on days that are utterly unglamorous, just to infuse a little je ne sais quoi into the banality of the day-to-day. I also feel like I usually get better service wherever I go when I’m dressed nicely and have lipstick on… which is problematic from a classism perspective, but good to know…

I’d been inexplicably anxious about getting my health card renewed, because bureaucracy is nerves-inducing even for folks who don’t have an anxiety disorder – so when I got it all done, my Sir texted me, “You did it!!!!! Proud of you” (so many exclamation points!!) and sent me a video of him winking as a reward. I am so #blessed.

On an unrelated note: I love this dress, partly because I once wore it on a second date with a cute lawyer that ended in alleyway makeouts so mesmerizing, I walked home with wet thighs. I wonder what ever happened to that guy…

What I’m wearing:
• Sunglasses – the hotel gift shop at last year’s Woodhull
• Red floral-print dress – H&M ($15!!)
• Maybelline Matte Ink liquid lipstick in “Pioneer”
• Bright turquoise Coach turnlock tote (stuffed, as per usual, with my laptop, journal, Kindle, wallet, chargers, makeup bag, keys, gum, and various other necessities)
• Red and black striped socks – the Gap
• Black leather Frye harness boots

May 31st, 2018. When I went to see my tattoo artist, Laura, to get my floral upper-arm piece done, she mentioned that she’d be willing to give me a free touch-up on the pink bows she’d put on my thighs almost two years earlier. What an absolute sweetheart! I was grateful, because, while my thigh tattoos are probably my favorite tattoos I have (shh, don’t tell the others!), there were a few patchy or faded spots, and I was thrilled to have the chance to get them fixed.

Earlier in the day, I went to a café to get some work done, wearing my collar and my medium Pure Plug as per my Sir’s instructions. He texted me, by way of explanation, “I really want to be inside you and around you and in control of you today. I want you to be as mine as you can be from a distance.” Not that he really needed to explain himself… In any case, it put me in a submissive headspace that fit well with getting my “good girl” tattoos touched up with a painful needle later on! (Before you ask: no, I did not wear the plug to the tattoo parlor!)

The touch-up itself was pretty painful, and took longer than I was expecting: about an hour, because Laura is a perfectionist (an excellent quality in a tattoo artist!). But I got through it just fine, and now my li’l pink bows look much better!

What I’m wearing:
• Hair in little pigtail-buns
• Blue suede collar – L’Amour-Propre
• Green tank top – American Apparel (I wore this a ton last summer, including, most memorably, during a breakup)
• Black multi-tiered skirt – thrifted in ~2008 (and I’m still wearing it all these years later because a good, basic, versatile black skirt is essential!)
• Green and black striped socks – the Gap
• Black leather Frye harness boots

June 10th, 2018. I’m bad at taking weekends off. That’s just #FreelancerProblems, I guess: when you’re (mostly) your own boss, get to set your own hours, and know that working harder = making more money, sometimes it’s hard to stop. So what was supposed to be my “nice relaxing Sunday afternoon” turned into prepping for a radio interview and then actually doing said interview, all caffeine-hyped and nervous. I think it turned out well, though!

This shirt bears the name and logo of the Wythe Hotel, the beautiful boutique hotel where my boyfriend told me he loved me on our third date. (No-chill nerds 5ever!) I ordered it on a whim, craving a memento of that night (I mean, aside from the postcard and coaster I’d already pilfered from our hotel room), and I’ve been wearing it a lot. It’s super soft and comfy and reminds me of how happy I was that night in February, and how happy I’ve been since.

What I’m wearing:
• Sunglasses – hotel gift shop in Alexandria
• Wythe Hotel T-shirt (they also make one in white but I think navy was the right call for me)
• Tiny black denim shorts – H&M
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• Hot pink Kate Spade New Bond Street Florence satchel (Kate had passed away earlier that week so it seemed right to pull out this old fave again, in tribute to the whimsy and color she brought into this world)

What are you wearing and loving lately?

Behind the Seams: “Weekend with the Boyf” Edition

Kate Sloan

May 26th, 2018. My boyfriend was visiting from New York for 3 whole days – the longest stretch of time we’ve ever gotten to spend together – so we decided to make it count by cramming in as many nights out as possible. (And also a lot of time for sex, natch.)

We’d pre-planned a Fancy Date Night. He wore a dark grey suit and looked so handsome I felt a bit faint every time I looked at him. I wore this: a tight, curvaceous, asymmetrical, blue velvet dress I’d bought months previous and had never actually worn out. It felt too sexy or too fancy for every occasion I considered it for – except this one: a night out with my beloved.

We took a car up to North York for dinner at Auberge au Pommier, a fine French restaurant with an achingly beautiful garden patio. I had a cocktail called the Baiser Volé (which translates to “Stolen Kiss”!) and a blissful black truffle risotto I’m still fantasizing about. Damn.

Then we cuddled in our Uber all the way to the Bad Dog Theatre to see Hookup, an improv show with an ingenious format: the improvisors choose two random people from the audience, interview them about their likes, dislikes, and defining traits, and then perform a short improvised play about what would happen if those two people hooked up. We laughed so hard we cried and couldn’t breathe. It was a fantastic night.

What I’m wearing:
• Dark blue velvet dress – Forever 21
• Blue suede collar – L’Amour-Propre
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• Pale blue Coach Mercer satchel
• (In one of the photos) Boyfriend’s suit jacket, because it was chilly at night and he’s a gentleman

May 27th, 2018. One of my favorite areas in Toronto is the Distillery District, so I’ve been wanting to take my darlin’ there for a while. He made us a reservation at El Catrin, a well-reviewed Mexican restaurant in the Distillery, and we trekked across town to get there. We drank incredible margaritas and ate wonderful food and made heart-eyes at our cute waiter. Perf.

Then we took the subway back over to the west side of the city and stopped into Northwood (our fave!) for a drink. I ordered a mint julep (or, rather, le boyf ordered it for me) and it was perfectly refreshing for this hot, sweaty day.

Then we walked over to Comedy Bar to see Crimson Wave, the weekly feminist stand-up comedy night there. The show itself was hilarious, but actually one of my most treasured memories from this night was the few minutes we spent in the bar lobby before the show started, nerding out together over Angels in America, my favorite play. (We were debating what we think Prior sees when he looks through the peep-stones.) Guhhh, I’m so in love.

What I’m wearing:
• Purple lipstick-print dress – CowCow
• Blue suede collar – L’Amour-Propre
• Pink polka-dotted kneesocks – ?
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• Pale blue Coach Mercer satchel

May 28th, 2018. On our last afternoon before he had to head to the airport to go back to New York, we went to the Federal for brunch and then back to Northwood to do our traditional post-date debrief over cocktails. I had a Southside and a Corpse Reviver #2, both flawless. We kept getting distracted from our conversation by the easy competence of the pretty bartender who was training some new staff on how to make cocktails while making several perfect ones for us.

I also gave a fairly stellar blowjob in this outfit before we left my apartment in the morning, but that’s neither here nor there…

What I’m wearing:
• Blue and white gingham dress – H&M
• Blue suede collar – L’Amour-Propre
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• Pale blue Coach Mercer satchel
• Red lipstick I was testing for a forthcoming part 2 of my blowjob lipsticks post (JUST YOU WAIT!)

What’s your summer aesthetic lookin’ like so far?

6 Summer Beauty Tips From a Sweaty Sex Blogger

Kate Sloan
This photo was taken in 2010 but it’s still an accurate representation of how I wish to live my life.

Summer is officially upon us. Ah, the season of chub rub, sunscreen, and constant sweat. How I have missed thee.

As a femme, I am well aware that summer necessitates a different approach to skincare, makeup, and hairstyling than the rest of the year – at least, if you live somewhere with extreme seasons, like my hometown of Toronto. Here are some of my favorite beauty tips that only (or mostly) come into play in the summertime…

Get you a decent longwear lipstick. Hassle-free lipstick is lovely all year round, but I find it’s particularly called for in summer: I spend a lot of that season sweating, kissing, drinking cocktails on patios, giving head, and eating messy street meat, among other potentially lipstick-obliterating activities.

I’ll be writing about this in more detail in the future, but for now, here are my top recommendations. If you want bold color, try a budge-proof liquid lip like Maybelline Matte Ink or Kat Von D Everlasting Liquid Lipstick. If you want a subtler look, try a tinted lip balm, or “balm stain,” like this one by Revlon or this one by GlamGlow. You’ll probably want to throw the lipstick, a compact mirror, and some tissues into your bag incase you need to reapply, but with some lip products (I’m lookin’ at you, Maybelline Matte Ink!), I find I almost never have to.

Make your hair a nest of bobby pins. God, I love bobby pins. They are ideal for a wide variety of hair issues that come up in the summer, and at lots of other times, too. I use them to keep flyaway baby hairs in check, to anchor pigtails and buns to my head, and to pin errant sections of fringe out of the way in case of sudden oral sex (hey, it’s important!).

Here are a few of my favorite bobby-pin-centric summer hairstyles:

  • Using hair elastics, pull your hair into two high pigtails, but only pull the hair partially through the elastic, so you end up with tight little pigtail buns. Position them how you want them and then pin them in place.
  • While the rest of your hair is in a ponytail, two braids, or really whatever style you want, comb the front part of your hair forward and then flip it back into a pompadour shape. (Back-comb the back side of this section of hair if you need some extra volume.) Position it how you want it, pin it into place, and add hairspray as needed.
  • Gather your hair into a loose bun on the top of your head using an elastic. (Brush and/or back-comb it before you do this if you want it extra floofy.) Pull parts of it out, move it around, etc. until it looks the way you want it, then pin it in place.
  • Fold a bandana (color chosen according to the hanky code, natch) diagonally, and again, and again, until it’s a thin strip. Tie it around your head, with the center of the bandana at the back/base of your skull and the ends just above the center of your hairline (or off-center, if you prefer). Anchor it in place with bobby pins (I usually do one in front of each ear and one through the knot at the top).

Slather on some coconut oil before shaving. Damn, I love this shit. Beauty experts will often tell you to moisturize after shaving, since your skin might be dry and/or irritated at that time, but I get even better results when I moisturize before I shave. For blissfully smooth legs, underarms, and labia, I like to rub some coconut oil into my skin 15-30 minutes before getting in the shower, and maybe add some more after I’m done shaving. Best!

Defeat your chub rub. For those unaware, chub rub is the irritation that can occur where skin rubs together on the body, particularly once you introduce heat, sweat, and/or a lot of walking into the equation. Between the thighs is a common spot, though it can happen in other areas too.

Different people have different ways of dealing with chub rub, according to the area(s) it afflicts them and how severe it is for them. Here are some solutions I can recommend:

  • Monistat Chafing Relief Powder-Gel is my go-to, ever since a friend insisted I buy some a few years back. It’s chemically similar to a thick silicone-based lube (see below), so it helps my thighs glide over each other rather than rubbing roughly together when I walk. It also supposedly aids with moisture control, cutting down on friction even further. Love love love!
  • My friend Bex recommends Uberlube – another silicone-based product – for chub rub. Like the Monistat gel, it’s slick but also a wee bit powdery, the ideal combo for this summertime complaint.
  • Some people swear by deodorant or antiperspirant as a chub rub cure. I used to put some between my thighs on summer days and it worked pretty well.
  • When I really need to ensure I’ll avoid chub rub – like when I’m planning on going for a long walk and don’t want to be in agony by the end of it – I’ll wear little bike shorts under my dress or skirt. These also, conveniently, prevent you from accidentally flashing bystanders if you happen to be rocking a short hemline on a windy day, or if you walk over a subway grate, Marilyn-style.

Wear a “bed scent.” I love this idea, which I first read about in the Dry Down. Rachel Syme recommends wearing perfume to bed, as “a comfort, a balm, a tangible curtain between the waking hours and the dreaming ones.” I would imagine this works best when you maintain some consistency: after all, a scent you spritz on only in bed at night could have a Pavlovian effect and drag you down into sleep more easily.

Notes typically associated with sleepytime include lavender, chamomile, and sandalwood; Syme also recommends oud. So try filtering by those notes on your favorite perfume site (I like IndieScents) and ordering some samples to try. (Also feel free to peruse my past writing on perfume if you need recs. And there’s always the Dry Down.)

Summer is a time when I crave quotidian glamour – when I’m likely to, for example, decadently moisturize my entire body while listening to chill jazz, or prance around my room in high heels having no intention of leaving the house – and the notion of a “bed scent” fits in perfectly with that pursuit. Sometimes you just want to feel beautiful, slinky, and delicious for purely your own sake.

Don’t forget your sunscreen!! I can’t always be arsed to put it all over my body, but at the very least, I put some on my face, my upper chest, and my visible tattoos when I know I’ll be getting some sun. I don’t want my face to wrinkle or my tattoos to fade any sooner than they have to! Plus there’s that whole “skin cancer” thing…

My top pick for sun protection is Neutrogena Ultra-Sheer Dry-Touch Sunblock. “Dry-touch” is a bit of a laugh – it’s greasy, like almost all sunscreens, in my experience – but if I put a little translucent powder over the top, I’m fine. This one doesn’t break me out like lots of other sunscreens have in the past. Consider lip balm with SPF in it, too; I like the ones by Nivea.

What beauty tips ‘n’ tricks get you through the summer?

Behind the Seams: Babygirls, Boots, & a Boy Shirt

Kate Sloan

May 16th, 2018. I wore this to go get dinner and drinks with my friend Anais at the Pour Boy, a favorite local haunt. We talked animatedly about boys, girls, kink, and theatre – among other things – over Long Island iced teas. She was wearing a bodysuit that said “Babygirl,” which made me feel extra grateful to have such great and like-minded femme friends in my life!

I also got recognized by a blog reader on my walk over there, who stopped me in the street and said, “Excuse me, are you Kate Sloan? I love your blog!” (if you’re reading this: hi, hello, you made my day!). This has happened a few times in the past month and makes me feel like a goddamn celebrity!

Going back to the Pour Boy always reminds me of dates I’ve been on there… One such episode happened two summers ago when I went for drinks with a new dommy boy I was seeing. He knew way more than I do about beer, so he asked if he could order my drink. I asked, “In a beer snob way, or in a dommy way?” and he pondered this and said, “Both.” I replied, “Ah, a beer dom. I like it.” Now, having drinks ordered for me is part of my protocol with my current partner, so that date feels indicative of future kinks in my memory! (The Pour Boy is also near lots of makeout-friendly back alleys, FYI. But don’t tell anyone I told you that.)

What I’m wearing:
• Revlon Ultra HD matte lip color in “Obsession”
• American Apparel figure skater dress (previously discussed here) – secondhand on eBay
• L’Amour-Propre custom-engraved heart-shaped lock on a silver chain
• Black leather Frye harness boots (you might have noticed I legitimately wear these almost every day… I probably need to switch to “summer shoes” soon but I dunno, I just love these so much!)
• Danier leather jacket thrown over the top because it was chilly out

May 19th, 2018. When I moved out of my parents’ house last summer, my dad made me promise I would come back and visit at least weekly. (This is, fortunately, feasible; they live about a half-hour journey from my new place via subway.) So I’m there overnight about once a week, but I usually forget to bring a change of clothes, because I’m clever like that. This means I end up poking through the closetful of little-worn rejects in my old bedroom to find something to wear the next morning. This pale blue slip was one such find, but I think it actually worked out pretty well. When I put on this outfit, I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, “I look like a mermaid at a frat party.”

The T-shirt is a hand-me-down from an ex-FWB. I went over to his place for an illicit romp two summers ago, and in the morning, we realized we couldn’t find my dress anywhere. We looked in the bed, under the bed, on the floor, in the bathroom, in the kitchen… It was just gone. So he gave me this translucent, pale-green, weirdly scrubs-reminiscent T-shirt to throw over the leggings I’d been wearing, and let me keep it because he didn’t like it much anyway. It’s a pretty ugly shirt, IMO, but makes me happy because it reminds me of that boy I’m still so fond of. (And, for the record, we found my dress eventually.)

What I’m wearing:
• Pale green American Eagle men’s T-shirt, worn knotted on one side (a good trick for giving shapeless garments a curvier silhouette) – inherited from a FWB
• Pale blue slip – vintage on eBay many years ago (it also looks super cute tucked into a skirt)
• Turquoise leather Coach turnlock tote
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• Hair elastic on my wrist, even though Cosmo says it’s ruining my outfit 🙄
• (Unseen) Short black raincoat I unearthed from my parents’ coat closet because it was cold and rainy outside

May 20th, 2018. It was warm and almost summery out on this day, and I felt uncomplicatedly happy about life. Hooray!

Busted out these clogs because I was getting bored of wearing the aforementioned boots every day. I bought these way back in 2014 after lusting after the A Beautiful Mess ladies’ collaboration with Swedish Hasbeens. Mine are by Lotta From Stockholm, a more affordable brand that I adore. Did you know: the one and only time I veered into the world of fashion journalism, it was to write about these clogs on xoJane!

Wearing these for the first time in a long time, I remembered just how weirdly comfortable they are for heels, and decided to order another pair: yellow ones with a peeptoe. They’re a little out of my sartorial comfort zone but I think they’re gonna look great with my summer dresses and flippy skirts!

What I’m wearing:
• Dark grey tank top – Old Navy
• Lilac lacy bralette – the Gap
• Navy high-waisted ponte skirt – Old Navy
• Lotta From Stockholm navy Highwood T-bar clogs

What’s your footwear of choice in the summertime, fellow feminine types?