Behind the Seams: Pinks & Reds for Polycule Parties

December 28th, 2025

I flew back to New York from Toronto the day before this, and usually air travel is pretty draining for my chronically ill bod, but fortunately I had enough energy to go out to Raaaatscraps! My wife and I had also just watched an amazing video about beef wellington that inspired her to seek out a great wellington at a restaurant, so that’s what we had for dinner before the show. A cute date night!

What I’m wearing:

  • Pink cashmere sweater – had just received as a Christmas gift from my mama 💖
  • Black pants – ditto
  • Black T-shirt with Apple logo (unseen) – gift from my wife
  • Pink leather Doc Martens
  • Silver hoop earrings
  • Coach Rambler bag

December 30th, 2025

My lovely wife mb was celebrating a birthday, and asked that everybody dress monochromatically for her party. I considered wearing all blue or all pink, but ultimately red won out! The party took place in the “red room” at Singers, so I matched the decor. 💅 Such a fun night hanging out with cool folks! Happy birthday, mb!

What I’m wearing:

  • Red velvet dress – H&M like a decade ago
  • Red cropped cardigan – Amazon
  • Red thigh-high socks – Los Angeles Apparel
  • Red cowboy boots – a hand-me-down from my high school girlfriend’s mom back in ~2008
  • Red heart necklace – Tarina Tarantino
  • Red heart-shaped bag – Kate Spade
  • Red heart-shaped hair clip – a store somewhere in Toronto’s Chinatown East, like 20 years ago(!!)
  • Red lipstick and red eyeshadow!

December 31st, 2025

Wore this to a New Year’s Eve party! Thanks to Twig, Carly, & Tom for once again hosting; I’ve been to their parties for several years running and always have a good time.

What I’m wearing:

  • Black & silver body-con dress – vintage American Apparel, bought on eBay
  • Black tights
  • Black sequinned Uggs
  • Vintage black leather Coach Willis bag
  • Red heart necklace – Tarina Tarantino
  • Apple Watch
  • Silver hoop earrings

January 2nd, 2026

Not the most exciting day – I just went out for coffee, cranked out three blog posts, and then watched a really good rom-com. But this denim jumpsuit makes me feel gay and hot on even the most humdrum of days.

What I’m wearing:

  • Short-sleeved denim jumpsuit – Aritzia; still wish I’d bought the black one too 😭
  • Black leather Frye harness boots
  • Black knit toque w/ blue ghost appliqué – Vaultboy merch (his latest EP is wonderful, especially this song)
  • Navy knit cowl – Yokoo (cannot recommend their knitwear highly enough; this beautifully voluminous scarf has been getting me through this bitter winter, and incidentally works well as a makeshift pillow on uncomfortable chairs!)
  • Black wool peacoat – thrifted in 2007
  • Apple Watch
  • Prescription sunglasses – Zenni

January 10th, 2026

Wore this out to a little drinks get-together with my polycule. Had some great cocktails and funny conversations with a buncha cuties! (And yes, I did also cry on my metamour while making out with him, but that’s neither here nor there…)

What I’m wearing:

  • Navy skater dress – American Apparel
  • Black tights
  • Black leather Frye harness boots
  • Silver hoop earrings
  • Teal leather collar – Tiffany’s, a gift from my love
  • Apple Watch

January 14th, 2026

Wore this to attend an improv show with my wife that featured Aaron Jackson, Josh Sharp, and Jeff Hiller, all of whom are hilarious beyond reason. It ended up being kind of dramatic because there was a subway train shutdown right before the show and Jeff was on that specific train, along with several audience members – so the show started half an hour late, and Jeff ran onstage triumphantly to thunderous applause when they finally arrived after their ordeal. The ensuing set was manic in the best way!

What I’m wearing:

  • Turquoise long-sleeved shirt – gift from my mom
  • Black pants – ditto
  • Blue metallic Doc Martens – bought in high school
  • Silver hoop earrings
  • Apple Watch
  • Vintage black leather Coach Willis bag

January 18th, 2026

Another Raaaatscraps night! You know it’s a really good improv show when you’ll willingly trek over there in bitterly cold weather just to laugh the night away. This particular show is always worth the journey!

What I’m wearing:

  • Pink cashmere sweater – J. Crew
  • Black pants – gift from my mom
  • Pink leather Doc Martens
  • Red knit cowl – a now-defunct Etsy shop

January 20th, 2026

Kind of a chaotic/mismatched outfit, vibes-wise, but sometimes that’s fun. I wore this out to dinner at Gage & Tollner with my wife.

What I’m wearing:

  • Red plaid flannel shirt – Old Navy
  • “Fucking Fascists” T-shirt with rainbow logo – not sure, possibly a gift from mb?
  • Red pencil skirt – American Apparel
  • Black tights
  • Black leather Frye harness boots
  • Vintage black leather Coach Willis bag
  • Black prescription sunglasses

January 22nd, 2026

Wore this to a Poetry is Gay reading, at which my stunning wife performed some poems. Always so much fun to listen to beautiful queers reciting their beautiful words! The theme of the evening was “melt the ice,” so I dressed in a springy manner to hopefully hasten along warmer weather (and fewer federal goons on the streets of Minneapolis and elsewhere). 🤞

What I’m wearing:

  • Floral-print T-shirt – American Apparel
  • Red pencil skirt – American Apparel
  • Black cashmere sweater – Gap
  • Black tights
  • Red cowboy boots – hand-me-down
  • Orange & red beaded earrings – bought in Mexico many years ago

January 23rd, 2026

And here’s one silly loungewear outfit, for good measure… I wore this to lie around the house reading my press galley copy of Rosa Campbell’s forthcoming book about the sex researcher Shere Hite. It’s an absolutely fascinating book; big recommend for anyone who’s interested in the intersections of feminism and sexuality, which I’d imagine is most of you reading this blog!

What I’m wearing:

  • Pink cropped T-shirt – Gap
  • Pink sweatpants – Gap
  • Pink knit toque – gift from my mom
  • White socks covered in rainbow hearts – Gap

Behind the Seams: Cruising for Sushi & Comedy Babes

October 8th, 2025

If I look a little frazzled in these photos, it’s because I’d been out late on a great date the night before… but it’s also because I desperately needed a haircut! Went to see the wonderful Carlin, who fixed me right up.

I’d recently attended a party at a bar where Jenna Marbles videos were inexplicably being projected onto one wall, and when my metamour asked the bar if they could turn it off, they instead just changed it to a documentary about GG Allin… which inspired me to dig out this T-shirt that bears his name alongside some Dr. Seuss parody art.

What I’m wearing:
• “Gonna fuck this ham” T-shirt – the Black Market several years ago; I cut off the neckline and sleeves in a nonconformist delirium
• Jeans – thrifted
• Black leather jacket – Danier Leather
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• Vintage black leather Coach Station bag – bought on eBay circa 2012


October 10th, 2025

On Bluesky I described this outfit as a mix between Courtney Love and Violet Beauregarde – in the sense that it’s a classic Courtney dress+boots combo, but all in Violet’s signature color! Wore this out to a fancy sushi dinner with my wife, after having interviewed the delightful Tuck Woodstock together for a podcast episode earlier that day.

What I’m wearing:

• Pale blue tennis dress – bought from some random Amazon store for my Magic Wand event at the Museum of Sex back in 2024 (I love that it has a built-in bra and shorts underneath)
• Blue cashmere cardigan – the Gap
• Blue metallic Doc Martens – bought when I was in high school
• Vintage red leather Coach Willis bag – a vintage shop on Etsy


October 11th, 2025

Wore this to go see a screening of All About Eve (which I had never seen before and which absolutely rules) with someone I affectionately refer to as my Movieboy. We went out to dinner first and I had an espresso martini, so I was exactly the right amount of fired-up to see a movie about messy actresses betraying each other!

What I’m wearing:

• Red T-shirt – thrifted
• Blue cashmere cardigan – the Gap
• Black ponte pants – the Gap
• Black leather jacket – Danier Leather
• Custom-color Nike Air Force 1 sneakers
• Vintage red leather Coach Willis bag


October 12th, 2025

A pretty simple outfit, worn to dinner + a Raaaatscraps show, which is the usual Sunday-night tradition my wife and I stick to when I’m in New York. Comedy date nights are the best date nights, if you ask me.

What I’m wearing:

• Black A-line dress – H&M
• Black and white star-print cardigan – ASOS many years ago
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• Vintage red leather Coach Willis bag
• Turquoise leather Tiffany’s dog collar – a gift from my love


October 19th, 2025

I went back to Toronto for a while at the end of 2025 to do another run of musical improv shows, because life is short and why the hell not. Here’s what I wore to a class and then a show. It was so cold in our theatre space that night that a sweet boy lent me his large black hoodie to wear over my jacket for a lot of the night, which only improved the look, tbh!

What I’m wearing:

• Red and black striped T-shirt – Forever 21, several years ago
• Black blazer – thrifted for a job interview circa 2012
• Black jeans – the Gap
• Black leather Doc Martens
• Vintage red leather Coach Willis bag


October 24th, 2025

Wore this to see some friends perform a sketch show at Second City downtown, after which I immediately subwayed across the city to Comedy Bar Danforth for a party they were throwing that night. I will take any opportunity to sip beer with cool funny people and laugh my ass off for hours!

I almost never dress femmey for improv shows that I’m performing in, because it can be impractical, but decided to bust out a fancy femme look for the comedy-nerd party. I joked on Bluesky that my improv friends might not recognize me in such girly garb, and funnily enough, one of them indeed did not recognize me in the low-lit theatre space, mistaking me for a stranger until, a few minutes into our conversation, she realized who I was. I found this hilarious – gender presentation is such a trip, man.

What I’m wearing:

• Little black dress – bought for a Bettie Page Halloween costume a few years back (this was one of the only dresses I brought with me to Toronto this time, because, like any LBD worth its salt, it’s damn versatile)
• Blue and black heart-print cardigan – H&M circa 2007
• Blue socks branded with the logo of the sex toy company Dame
• Black leather Doc Martens


October 25th, 2025

Wore this to go visit my friends Dan and Sarah for some Jackbox games, wine time, and gossip, which was our near-weekly tradition back when Sarah and I lived together throughout the first couple of pandemic years. Always nice to wax nostalgic with old pals! I’m reminding myself of Starrina with this look: “One does want a hint of color…”

What I’m wearing:

• Pink T-shirt – the Gap
• Black cashmere hoodie – a lovely (and cozy) gift from my wife’s parents
• Black leather jacket – Danier Leather
• Pink knit toque – gift from my mom
• Black jeans – the Gap
• Trusty ol’ Nikes
• Red leather Coach Willis bag


October 29th, 2025

After having to crank out 3 short blog posts + 1 song video all in one day (due to poor time management on my part), I was soooo ready to unwind with my evening plans: attending a screening of Cruising with some family members. The movie largely takes place in queer kinky nightclubs, so it felt à propos to wear a lotta leather! Also, incidentally, my late uncle Kevan’s legendary rock band Rough Trade wrote some songs for the Cruising soundtrack, and it was cathartic to appreciate his artistry in a roomful of enthusiastic queers. (He also co-wrote a song that’s in Love Lies Bleeding!)

What I’m wearing:

• Men’s black T-shirt – got accidentally mixed into my laundry once; deeply sorry to whoever I inadvertently stole this from, but it’s a nice shirt
• Black leather jacket – Danier Leather
• Black jeans – the Gap
• Black leather Doc Martens
• Tiffany’s dog collar
• Vintage red leather Coach Willis bag
• Prescription sunglasses – Zenni


Great photos by mb

December 14th, 2025

Worn to do a musical improv show! Wish I could remember what I was singing about in the middle one; I look rather impassioned… but I know the one on the right was during a scene where I had a crush on Santa Claus, hence the coquettish body language! My wife was able to attend this one and took a bunch of excellent film photos of our set. It’s always fun to introduce her to my ‘prov friends.

What I’m wearing:

• Teal long-sleeved shirt – gift from my mom
• Little black dress
• Black leggings – H&M
• Black leather Doc Martens
• Red heart-shaped glasses – Zenni


Photos by my mom

December 21st, 2025

My outfit for my last improv show of the year! I performed in the show and in the subsequent improv jam, then hung out with friends until the bar closed, and then some of us walked back to my parents’ place and chatted about life/love/art until 4 in the morning. Once again gotta give a shout-out to low-dose naltrexone (LDN), the medication I take for my fibromyalgia; I could have never done all that stuff in one evening pre-LDN!

What I’m wearing:

• Red A-line dress – H&M
• Black cashmere cardigan – the Gap
• Black leggings – H&M
• Black leather Doc Martens
• Pearl necklace – Horae
• Apple Watch


P.S. Want more posts like this? Check out the ‘outfit‘ tag!

Behind the Seams: Romantic, Autumnal, & a Little Slutty

August 6th, 2025

Bit of a throwback – I think the last time I wore this dress on here, it was for a friend’s party in 2018, when I wore it backwards so the lacing went up the front. Recently rediscovered it when I moved, and on this night I wore it out to a wine bar with my wife. (“Wine wife, wine life,” as Zach Reino would say.)

What I’m wearing:
• Black minidress with corseted back – Forever 21, circa 2016
• Black leather 1490 Doc Martens (they make me feel so hot & queer, I love them so much)
• Black leather Coach Station bag – vintage on eBay many years ago


Photos by mb

August 9th, 2025

Wore this out for another dinner with da wife. Not a terribly notable outfit, except that 1) the photos she took of it are so pretty and 2) I’m wearing a hat emblazoned with the logo of the Wythe Hotel, which is a romantic spot for us. It’s where we stayed on our 2nd date, and also where we first told each other we loved each other and wanted to officially date each other. That was in Brooklyn way back in 2018, and now we live in Brooklyn together. Aww.

What I’m wearing:
• Black modal romper – MeUndies
• Black leather jacket covered in pins – Danier Leather
• Navy knit hat – Wythe Hotel gift shop
• Black leather vintage Coach Station bag
• Pink/red/blue Nike Air Force 1 sneakers (unseen)


August 11th, 2025

A random Monday-evening-dinner look. Did you know that there’s a ton of gorgeous graffiti in Bushwick? And sometimes it even matches my outfit!

What I’m wearing:
• Navy tank top/bralette – some generic chain store
• Blue cashmere cardigan – J. Crew
• Turquoise pleated skirt – Zhanchtong
• Vintage black leather Coach Station bag
• Black leather Frye 12R harness boots
• Tiffany & Co. leather dog collar – a gift from my wife
• Red heart-shaped prescription glasses – Zenni


August 16th 2025

Here’s what I wore to a party my metamour threw to celebrate his then-upcoming top surgery. I love queers. The party was being held in the ‘Red Room’ at a bar called Singers so I guess I felt inspired to wear red!

What I’m wearing:
• Orange skater dress – American Apparel many years ago (very nipply but who cares)
• Red cropped cardigan – can’t recall where I got it but it was bought to wear to mb’s sister’s wedding
• Red triangle earrings – a Toronto craft fair iirc
• Black leather vintage Coach Station bag
• Black leather Converse Chuck Taylors


August 18th, 2025

On this day, I wrote my Lovense Lush Mini review and then went with my wife + some pals to a screening of vintage lesbian porn. This look seemed à propos.

What I’m wearing:
• “S.L.U.T.S.” tank top – bought at the NY Folsom Street Fair a few years back
• Very tight Denim Forum jeans – thrifted
• Black leather jacket – Danier Leather
• Black leather 1490 Doc Martens
• Navy acrylic clitoris-shaped earrings – an Etsy shop that seems to have shut down


August 21st, 2025

Wore this to go see Weapons with my wife. I liked it, though not as much as Cregger’s previous movie Barbarian.

What I’m wearing:
• Black long-sleeved shirt – gift from my mom
• Denim Forum skinny jeans – thrifted
• Black leather vintage Coach Station bag
• Black leather jacket (in my hand) – Danier Leather
• Black leather 1490 Doc Martens
• Silver hoop earrings – ?
• Crave Vesper vibrator/necklace (bad vibrator, pretty necklace)


August 27th, 2025

This was a cool night – I had been invited to an erotica-writing workshop taught by sci-fi romance legend Cecilia Tan, hosted by sex toy company Dame, at the romance-centric Brooklyn bookstore The Ripped Bodice. There was a conversation between Cecilia and Dame founder Alexandra Fine about erotica, arousal, the role of sex toys in the writing process, etc. and then we did some writing exercises together in little notebooks we were given. (I was very enamored with the pens they gave out and ended up buying some of my own, lol.) Got to mingle with some other writers, mostly fellow femme-presenting folks, which was really cool! Thanks for the invite, Dame.

What I’m wearing:
• Pink tank top w/ built-in bra – Gap; a gift from my mama
• Turquoise pleated skirt – Zhanchtong
• Pink leather Doc Martens
• Pink leather Kate Spade New Bond Street Florence bag
• Apple Watch w/ navy leather Hermès band – both gifts from my wife
• Raspberry-pink leather heart earrings – Unicorn Collaborators
• Black leather jacket – Danier Leather


September 12th, 2025

Wore this to have dinner with my wife at one of our fanciest faves, the Gramercy Tavern, where they always treat us well. If you’re ever there, order a classic daiquiri… and tell ’em mb sent you…

What I’m wearing:
• Red fit-and-flare dress – H&M
• Red socks
• Red/orange/blue Nike Air Force 1 sneakers
• Silver hoop earrings
• Black prescription sunglasses – Zenni
• Red leather Coach Willis bag – vintage on Etsy
• Black leather jacket – Danier Leather


September 13th, 2025

Can you tell I like red? Here’s another outfit I wore to dinner/drinks with my wife…

What I’m wearing:
• Red tank top – Gap
• Black ponte pants – Gap
• Black leather belt – Gap
• Red leather vintage Coach Willis bag
• Red cowboy boots with stars on them – a hand-me-down from my high school girlfriend’s mom in like 2009 (!)


September 20th, 2025

Wore this to my cousin’s wedding! It was held at an extremely fancy golf course; the dress code was “garden formal.” I didn’t really know what to wear, but Betsey Johnson never lets me down.

What I’m wearing:
• Pink floral-print Betsey Johnson dress – vintage on eBay
• Black leather belt – Gap
• Yellow cardigan – a gift from my bubbie in like 2008 I think?!
• Black faux-leather flats – Winners
• Black leather vintage Coach Station bag


October 2nd, 2025

Kind of a weird night – I had planned to take my friend Sarah as my +1 to a media event I’d been invited to, which was the launch party for a Halloween-themed pop-up bar. We went out for dinner beforehand to a Mexican restaurant, and while we were eating, I received an email telling me the event had been canceled due to unforeseen circumstances! So Sarah and I just finished our margaritas and called it a night. Oh well, at least we looked cute…

What I’m wearing:
• Blue dress – American Apparel
• Blue & green flannel shirt – Old Navy (been thrashing this one lately, it’s great for improv shows)
• Blue socks – promotional item from the sex toy company Dame
• Red/pink/blue Nikes (didn’t have any more suitable shoes with me 😂)
• Black leather vintage Coach Station bag


October 7th, 2025

Wore this on what was surely one of the best first dates of my life thus far! You can listen to me tell the full story here… Suffice it to say, it was apt that I wore red, because I spent much of the night blushing profusely, so at least my look was cohesive 😂 This was also, as it turns out, a perfectly-engineered outfit in which to get fingered in a park during autumn in New York.

What I’m wearing:
• Red sleeveless dress w/ pleated skirt – Winners many years ago (bought for a wedding rehearsal dinner in 2013!)
• Red thigh-high socks – American Apparel
• Black leather jacket – Danier Leather
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• Black leather vintage Coach Station bag
• My ever-ubiquitous red lipstick, which I’m sure got kissed off of me by the end of the night

 

P.S. Want more posts like this? Check out the ‘outfit‘ tag!

12 Objects I’m Loving Lately

Since packing up my entire life to move to a different country, I’ve been more aware than ever before of how important my possessions are to me. Sure, in theory it would be great to embrace a minimalistic, monastic lifestyle (and it’d sure save you a pretty penny on moving expenses!), but ultimately I just love stuff too much to ever give it up!

To that end, today I thought I’d tell you about a random assortment of objects that have been bringing me great joy lately, since I believe in sharing the love…

Nike Air Force 1 custom sneakers

I bought these back in 2022, customizing the color combo myself using Nike’s online design tools, because I was having a major lovecore phase. (Still am, frankly!) They are totally garish; I call them my femme clown shoes. But they’re also wonderfully comfortable and practical; I frequently wear them on long walks, and they were my go-to shoe for my recent run of musical improv shows. They’re looking a bit worse for wear and could use some leather care, but I love how loud they are; people are constantly complimenting them!

Leatherology large clamshell makeup bag

Gotta love a makeup bag that’s roomy enough to fit my ENTIRE daily makeup and skincare regimen! This one is made of gorgeously soft red leather and is perfectly sized for my needs. One bummer is that the zipper pulls are starting to fall off, just a year into owning this bag, but other than that, I love it.

eos Shea Better 24H Moisture body lotion in “Vanilla Cashmere”

Skincare brands are constantly sending me press releases, even though I only cover sex toys, because oftentimes all “wellness” products get grouped together in the journalism world. This brand still wanted to send me their lotion even after I explained that my beat is masturbation, not moisturizer… and I totally fell in love with the stuff! It’s super hydrating, not overly greasy, and makes my skin smell like I’ve been rolling around in vanilla cake batter. I love applying it right when I get out of the shower, while I’m getting ready for a date, or to spend time with a crush – it makes me feel effortlessly sexy and feminine.

Silver hoop earrings

There’s no brand on these, so I assume they were an impulsive purchase from some generic chain store at the mall years ago. I’ve recently gotten back into them in a big way. As a kid/teen, I always thought hoop earrings looked so cool and sexy, but I had an irrational(?) fear that something would get caught on them and cause some carnage… I guess I’m finally brave enough to run that risk these days 😅

Sigg 34-ounce recycled metal water bottle

I’ve loved Swiss brand Sigg’s super design-y metal water bottles for a long time, and upgraded to this massive one recently. I am chronically, shamefully dehydrated, which is really not good (“Hydrate or die-drate,” as my wife would say), but it helps to have a cute-looking water bottle on my desk at all times. This one is a stunning iridescent blue.

Epomaker TH40 mechanical keyboard

My “daily driver” (as the keyboard nerds say) is a larger keyboard, the Epomaker Galaxy80, which I adore – but at some point I decided I wanted a tiny keeb for when I travel, and this little 40% model fit the bill. I swapped out the switches for Akko Fairies on the alphanumerical keys and Akko Penguins on the modifiers; both are silent switches, so this thing is really quiet. I also put some new keycaps on there, and removed the keyboard’s built-in wrist strap so I could replace it with a sleeker-looking black pleather one. It’s a little tricky to get used to a 40% layout, but this article helped me a lot.

Gold/diamond/emerald panther ring

When my bubbie (grandmother) passed away many years ago, she specifically left this ring to me in her will. I have always wondered why she picked this piece for me in particular; my favorite color as a kid was green, so maybe it was as simple as she thought I would like the panther’s gleaming emerald eyes. But I also like to think that she saw some panther-like courage and tenacity in me that she wanted to celebrate, even after her death. I’ve rediscovered it lately and have been wearing it every day. 💚

Euphorium Brooklyn “Suédois” eau de parfum

The “nose” behind Euphorium Brooklyn is a man named Stephen Dirkes, who my partner once hired to make a custom perfume for me as a gift. I still love that scent (it’s called Aimanté), and have also become enamored with various other Euphorium scents over the years, like this one, Suédois. It’s deeply androgynous and sexy, featuring sensuous notes like leather, sandalwood, nutmeg, patchouli, and Bavarian cream. Just divine!

Pink heart-shaped sticky notes

I believe in making your life as beautiful as you can, in the ways that make you happiest – which is why I prefer heart-shaped sticky notes over the boring square yellow kind. They delight me whenever I look at them!

Dr. Martens 1490 boots in black smooth leather

I’ve owned far too many pairs of Doc Martens in my life, from the shiny black calf-height ones my friends bought me for my birthday in high school, to the blue metallic ones I rocked in college, to the rainbow glitter ones I got in my twenties. But my favorites at the moment are definitely these basic black leather 10-eye Docs. They’re stompy and punky and fun, and they instantly androgynize any femme-leaning outfit. Love ’em.

D’Addario Nexxus 360-degree rechargeable guitar tuner

This is the best instrument tuner I’ve ever owned! It was a gift from my brother, who is very smart. I love that it’s conveniently rechargeable via micro-USB, and that it helps me get my ukuleles perfectly in tune every time, even in loud environments where I can barely hear myself play.

Oliver Hibert tarot deck

I’m over the moon for Oliver Hibert’s art. I would have one of his paintings framed on every wall of my apartment if I could afford it! A few years ago I saved up and bought myself his tarot deck, and I’ve been so pleased with it ever since. It’s so visually striking that it evokes emotions in me easily, making it ideal for the kinds of things I like to use tarot for (self-reflection and songwriting inspiration, mainly). All hail the psychedelic brilliance of Oliver Hibert!

 

What objects are bringing you joy lately? Feel free to sound off in the comments!

Behind the Seams: Summertime in Bushwick

July 10th, 2025

I wore this to a launch party for the latest issue of Poetry is Gay magazine! My very talented wife had a poem published in it. A few poets read their pieces aloud and it was all beautiful, not to mention queer as hell.

I had moved to New York only 8 days previous, so my body and brain were still pretty exhausted – hence dipping before the afterparty commenced. But at least I got to take this cute tipsy smiley selfie on my way home, clutching a stack of gay poetry mags, when a friend from back in Toronto texted to ask me what I was up to.

What I’m wearing:
• Black tank top that says “2 gay 2 live, 2 horny 2 die” – made by Cayce Fisher (the perfect shirt to wear to a horny gay poetry reading, if you ask me!)
• Denim shorts – the Gap (you might recall I wore these a lot in my last outfits post too – my movers still hadn’t brought my stuff yet, so I was still getting dressed out of a little suitcase every day at this point!)
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• Black leather vintage Coach Station bag
• Red triangle earrings – some craft fair back home, can’t quite recall!
• Red heart-shaped glasses – Zenni


July 12th, 2025

One of the first things I did upon moving to Brooklyn was attend the Fun & Dumb Improv Festival at the Brooklyn Comedy Collective. My wife had correctly intuited that I would be exhausted and depressed after the ordeal of the move and could use as many laughs as possible, so she bought us both weekend passes to the festival in advance. Am I spoiled or what?!

This particular day was packed with musical improv above all else – we saw performances by Angus, Thongs, & Perfect Singing and Baby Wants Candy, who were both stellar. Later that evening, we went back to the BCC for more improv: Padma Lakshmi was the guest monologist for one show, and then the legendary ASSSSCAT closed out our evening. Highly recommend going to see a cavalcade of comedy when you’re stressed/sad/depleted!

What I’m wearing:
• Orange tank top – the Gap
• Black high-waisted pencil skirt – the Gap
• Pink/red/orange custom Nike Air Force 1 sneakers
• Red triangle earrings
• Apple Watch with navy leather Hermès band – both gifts from my wife
• Black prescription sunglasses in one photo and red heart-shaped glasses in the other – both from Zenni
• Fun & Dumb Festival admission wristband! (I kept it afterward, naturally, because I am a sentimental dweeb)


July 19th, 2025

Here’s what I wore to have drinks with part of my polycule (wife + wife’s boyfriend + wife’s boyfriend’s husband) at the Sunken Harbor Club, a fancy low-lit bar specializing in tiki drinks. I had a few too many, but what can I say – they were delicious!

What I’m wearing:
• White/pink/blue toucan-print button-down shirt – borrowed from my wife; I originally bought it for her as a gift
• Blue lace bralette underneath – Aerie
• Denim shorts again
• Pink metallic cowboy boots – Jeffrey Campbell
• Navy earrings in the shape of a diagram of the internal clitoris – an Etsy shop called MadeInMira (I think I want the dangly ones next…)
• Vintage black leather Coach Station bag
• Apple Watch


July 23rd, 2025

I wore this to attend the closing-night performance of King!, a piece of wacky-beautiful theatre created by/starring Gabriel Gara Lonning and Mariposa Coalson. It’s hard to even describe, but perhaps these photos my wife took will give you a sense of the vibe! I’d been invited to the afterparty too, but declined in favor of going home to take a bath, because having fibromyalgia is fuckin’ rough, dude.

What I’m wearing:
• Black & silver bodycon dress – American Apparel many years ago
• Navy knee-high socks
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• Black leather vintage Coach Station bag
• Red triangle earrings


July 25th, 2025

I wore this to happy hour with some polycule members + pals at Barely Disfigured, a bar with a weird name and great drinks. Big recommend for The Harlot’s Progress, which contained blackberry liqueur and smoky scotch, a combo I never knew I needed until I tasted it!

What I’m wearing:
• Orange/pink fit-and-flare dress – Modcloth over a decade ago
• Red/pink/white striped knee-high socks – gift from my mama
• Custom-color Nike Air Force 1 sneakers
• Rainbow earrings – an Etsy store called 3DelightfulShop
• Coach Station bag
• Tiffany & Co. leather dog collar – a gift from my love


July 26th, 2025

I’ve been wanting to meet up with somebody from the /r/RandomActsOfMuffDive subreddit for a long time, since no-strings-attached, no-reciprocation-required cunnilingus from a self-professed pussy-hound has always sounded like a pretty sweet proposition to me. A couple days prior to this, I had met up with a man from there for drinks, and we hit it off sufficiently that he invited me to his place for the aforementioned “muffdive” (god, I hate that term) later that week… so here’s what I wore to that!

It was important to me that I felt both comfy and cute, hence wearing this literal nightgown and my favorite boots. And actually, the nightgown stayed on for the whole encounter, which was kind of nice – it meant I didn’t have to directly confront my discomfort about letting this near-stranger see me naked. (He was so complimentary of my body that I needn’t have worried, though!)

What I’m wearing:
• Black modal nightgown – Calvin Klein Sleepwear (I literally have 4 of these, because they’re so simple and comfy… Chronic illness wardrobe ahoy!!)
• Pink & blue unicorn-print knee-high socks – probably bought at The Great Canadian Sox Shop back when I lived near Queen St. W.
• Coach Station bag
• Frye harness boots
• Apple Watch


July 27th, 2025

Attending the improv show Raaaatscraps is a near-weekly tradition for my wife and I, although usually (before I moved to New York) I would watch it on a livestream while she attended in-person. However, now that I live here, I can attend the show every week if I want to – and I often do want to! On this occasion I went alone because my wife was busy, and I had a great time, as always. Those rats (by which I mean the very clever people in the Raaaatscraps cast) are so damn funny.

What I’m wearing:
• Black & red floral-print dress – H&M about a decade ago (I wore it on my first date with my wife, incidentally)
• Black leather 10-eye Doc Martens
• Coach Station bag


July 30th, 2025

I wore this out to eat fancy sushi with my beloved. Among other things, we discussed a protocol to help motivate me to unpack my belongings at a speedier rate. However, one thing I had already unpacked was my collection of dresses (can you believe I own 50+ of them?!? Just ridiculous!!), hence revisiting this one, which I bought for an anniversary date in 2018.

What I’m wearing:
•
Blue velvet dress – Forever 21
• Black leather Doc Martens
• Coach Station bag
• Black leather jacket – Danier Leather