Call me a starry-eyed basic bitch if you must, but Valentine’s Day is one of my favorite holidays. I mean, you get to dress up in lovecore colors and celebrate the love in your life – and for a romantic femme like me, what could be better than that?!
I know it’s been almost a month since Valentine’s at this point, but I’m still thinking about the lovely date I had with my wife mb that night, and I wanted to tell you about it!
To begin our evening, mb – who is very into photography – wanted to shoot some photos of me on our rooftop at magic hour (a.k.a. sunset). It was still bitterly cold, but I slipped out of my coat and jacket and stood bare-shouldered on the roof, staring off into Brooklyn, while she snapped away. It was a sweet and peaceful start to our evening, and reminded me of when my friends and I used to do photoshoots for no reason all the time in high school – sometimes creativity and connection are justifications in and of themselves!
We’d sent each other some gorgeous flowers to celebrate the day, and also exchanged gifts, as is tradition. mb gave me this iconic-looking box of chocolates from La Maison du Chocolat and a limited-edition Valentine’s Day Field Notes notebook.
Then she told me that we had to make a mysterious stop somewhere on our way to dinner. It turned out we needed to hit up the Apple store, because her most generous gift to me was a pair of AirPods Pro 3 – both of our old AirPods had been acting up, and we both use them a lot, so she got us each some new ones. I’ve been loving them – the noise-canceling is much better than my old ones (the original AirPods Pro, which I bought 5 years ago). There’s something so romantic to me about a partner giving me a gift that they know I will use constantly, which will improve my life on the daily! The gaming-inspired case I subsequently bought for mine is super cute, too.
I had been craving a Penicillin so mb tried to take me to the cocktail bar Fresh Kills before our dinner plans, but it was so packed that we couldn’t get in within a reasonable timeframe – so we went across the street to Hole in the Wall instead. Both of us got coffee-based cocktails, to ensure we’d be energetic enough for the rest of our evening’s plans: mb got an espresso martini, and I got a “Hole’d Fashioned,” a caffeinated take on the classic old fashioned.
I can’t remember the exact details of our conversation, but I’m certain we must have discussed a lot of romantic drama over these drinks. At the time, I was still recovering emotionally from being ghosted by someone I’d dated for 3 months(!!) and also from being rejected by a crush back home in Toronto. Shout-out to my wife for very empathetically letting me rant about these two situations on numerous occasions lately. Truly one of the key benefits of polyamory is having somebody there to support you emotionally when shit hits the fan, someone who knows you even better than most of your friends do and can remind you that you’re hella desirable even when you feel like an unloveable troll.
Next we went to Diner for dinner. It’s a fancy restaurant made from a 90-year-old traincar. They write the menu out for you on the paper tablecloth adorning your table. Gotta love quirky New York restaurants. We had a prix-fixe meal consisting of delicious martinis, oysters, chicory salad, crudo, lobster, duck, and chocolate tart. I am spoiled as fuck!!
This whole dinner was actually paid for by the sex toy brand Dame, who wanted to sponsor our night out. Dame’s always doing cool stuff, from suing the New York subway system for discriminating against female-founded sex-positive advertisers, to hosting erotica-writing workshops at romance bookstores, and I was honored that they’d want to treat me to Valentine’s dinner with my partner, too!
We talked about a lot of stuff over the course of the meal, including how far we’ve both come in our DD/lg dynamic. I definitely feel more sure of myself than I was when we first met, so I don’t rely on my wife to make as many decisions for me these days, which feels like a win for both of us – our D/s adventures have made me a stronger, smarter, more self-assured person, and have helped my wife get more deeply in touch with who she is and who she wants to be, as well.
After dinner, we meandered back home for some intense sadomasochistic sex. (Remember, “romance” is just whatever you and your partner find romantic! It doesn’t have to look like flowers and chocolates and unswerving egalitarianism… although it certainly can.)
Dame had sent me their mini wand, the Min, so we tried that out briefly – but mostly I was in the mood for pain, so my wife gave me a heavy beating with her hands + the custom Weal & Breech mallet that she commissioned for me as a gift several years ago. She took me right up to my pain limit, skilfully and sensitively, until I burst into cathartic tears about how lucky I felt to be loved in ways I’d always dreamed of. At my request, she brought me my stuffed wolf pup (whose name is Lincoln, a.k.a. Linko, because I acquired him on a trip to Lincoln City in 2015) – I cried into his fur for the latter half of the beating, which was comforting and nice.
In preparation for the sex that followed, my wife had had me heat up my Njoy Pure Wand in a bowl of warm water. Into the water, at her request, I’d mixed a few drops of “Bushwick moonwater” – water magically imbued with Brooklyn moonlight; it’s a long story – so there was some woo-woo witchiness afoot. She went down on me for a while and then fucked me with the pre-warmed Pure Wand until I squirted all over everything. That’s romance, baybee!
Overall, it was a pretty much perfect Valentine’s Day – my first one since moving to the States/living with my wife, which was special in and of itself. In a world that’s currently so chaotic and scary, it feels more important than ever to celebrate love, connection, and being there for each other. Thanks to my wife (and also to Dame) for making it such a wonderful night! 💖
• The 
• The 
• The 
• If you have a prostate, I strongly endorse the 
