All Reviews

A Vibrator for Meditation?! Well, Sort Of…

Kate Sloan

It’s not often that I’m offered a vibrating object which isn’t designed to be put on your genitals – so I was intrigued when I received a press release about the Sensate.

 

What is the Sensate and what does it do?

The Sensate is a “wearable stress relief and anti-anxiety device.” It’s a small vibrating object that reminds me of the Je Joue MiMi. It comes with a lanyard, which you can attach to it and then wear like a necklace, to keep the Sensate in the right spot on your sternum while you’re using it.

Okay, but what does the Sensate actually do? It connects via Bluetooth to an iOS/Android app, which contains a selection of ambient audio tracks for meditation. Each one of those tracks has its own corresponding vibration patterns, so that the vibrations you feel on your chest are perfectly in sync with the music or sounds you’re hearing.

This could be plenty relaxing on its own, but the Sensate’s vibration actually serves a specific purpose beyond just feeling good (which it does): to “tone the vagus nerve.” If you’re unfamiliar, the vagus nerve is the longest nerve in the human autonomic nervous system. It plays a role in many critical aspects of health, including heart rate, breathing rate, and digestion. It also helps us cope with stress, by regulating our fight-or-flight responses and helping us soothe ourselves back into a relaxed state when we get stressed out.

Supposedly, the vibrations meted out by the Sensate help the vagus nerve to relax, evoking a feeling of safety and calm. The makers of the Sensate say that over time, this process gets easier and easier as your vagus nerve gets more toned, so that you develop greater resilience in the face of stress.

(I should note here that while I minored in psychology in school, and have done extensive self-education on trauma and the nervous system, I’m not a medical expert at all and don’t have the knowledge or experience to directly confirm whether this science is legit. But everything I’ve written here is, to the best of my knowledge, true.)

 

How well does it work?

I’ve recently been learning about mindfulness and meditation for pain reduction, through a program offered by my local chronic pain clinic, so I was excited to get to test a device that’s specifically for meditation. I have to say, usually I struggle to make time for meditation because it just seems so boring compared to, I dunno, doomscrolling Twitter or playing Pokémon games… but since getting the Sensate, I’ve been much more enthused about it. There’s something about having a cool little device that makes the whole practice feel more fun and special to me, and if that’s what it takes to motivate myself into meditating, then so be it.

I like to cocoon myself in bed, plug my headphones into my phone, slip the Sensate’s lanyard over my head, get it positioned properly, and put a blindfold on before beginning my meditation. (The blindfold helps me a lot, because otherwise I would tend to look around idly and get distracted.) There are currently 13 different tracks in the app – I hope they add more eventually – and each has a duration of either 10, 20, or 30 minutes; I like that I can choose whichever duration I’m in the mood for, but do wish there were a few 5-minute meditations too, for those really busy days.

Like most beginner meditators (and maybe most meditators in general tbh), my mind wanders a lot while I’m trying to “empty” it during a meditation session. But I find that the vibrations of the Sensate are grounding and serve as a frequent reminder that I am indeed meditating, and that I should gently return my focus to my breath (or whatever else I’ve chosen to focus on).

I gotta say, I was skeptical about the Sensate, but I always notice a significant reduction in stress and agitation after I use it. My body and brain typically feel calm, quiet, and relaxed, in a way that reminds me of the soft peace I feel after a good hard cry or a good hard spanking scene. When I try to meditate without the Sensate, often I just end up worrying about work projects I have to finish or social interactions I think I fucked up, so I often don’t feel very relaxed by the time a meditation ends; however, with the Sensate, even if I do experience anxiety or worrying during the meditation, I always feel calmer when I’m done.

The battery life is pretty good; Sensate’s website says you’ll probably need to charge it once a week if you’re using it every day. It comes with a cute little travel case, which I love, because I genuinely would bring this with me on trips, especially if I was en route to an anxiety-provoking event.

I can’t really tell you whether the Sensate has had any kind of long-term effect on my overall mood or stress level, because I’m also going through a lot of stuff right now that is affecting those things too: trauma therapy, learning about Internal Family Systems, a fucking global pandemic, and so on. But I can say that it helps me relax in the moment, helps me fall asleep, and motivates me to meditate more often.

 

But is it sexy?!?

Look, this is a sex blog, and I wrote a book about kink. Of course I gotta talk about whether this thing is sexy and/or kinky.

There is a spot on my chest, right between my boobs, that feels good to touch, in a borderline-sexual way. I always adjust the Sensate so it is placed directly on that spot, even though the instructions recommend placing it a little higher. (They also say placing it lower is fine, FYI.) This makes it a more sensual experience for me and is probably a big part of why I feel more motivated to meditate since getting this device 😂

If you’re into erotic hypnosis, or have another kink that involves fetishizing relaxation, sleepiness, or spaceyness, I’m sure you could find some inventive ways to use the Sensate in scenes. For instance, I think it would be hot if my partner put me in trance, put my Sensate + headphones + blindfold on me, started a 30-minute track, and performed cunnilingus on my sleepy, spacey body. (Um, they’re gonna read this post aloud to me later like they always do, and I just know they’re gonna make some kind of pervy comment right here that’ll make me blush…)

I have considered the idea of placing the Sensate on my genitals during a meditation, but I just don’t know that it’d be all that fun. The vibrations aren’t toooo buzzy but they certainly aren’t optimized for genital pleasure. I think you’d be better off just using a regular vibrator on yourself during a Sensate session if you wanted to combine meditation with masturbation (or sex).

I tried using the Sensate during a shrooms trip once, and wished I had pre-vetted the track I chose, because it was kind of creepy and put me into a negative headspace in that state, so I abandoned ship after just a couple of minutes. I’d like to try it again with a different track sometime soon, because I’m sure it would be wild to use this thing on psychedelics.

 

Does it have any drawbacks?

The main one is that this thing costs $249. I imagine that a lot of the reason for that steep price tag is the research and development that went into creating it, which I absolutely respect; I just think it’s way out of most people’s price range for something they’ll probably use a few times a week, tops. If you’re a serious meditator, have a lot of cash to throw around, and/or have “tried everything” to relieve your stress symptoms and want to try something else, I think it’d be a decent purchase. But the average person definitely does not need this, especially since you can get the app for free and just listen to the audio tracks, sans vibration.

There’s no way to experience the relaxing vibrations of the Sensate without the usage of the accompanying app. This means that you’re shit outta luck if you don’t have an iOS or Android phone. It also means that you can’t sync up the Sensate with other audio, like your favorite songs or a voice memo of your partner saying filthy shit to you. You can use it without headphones on, thereby experiencing only the vibrations and being able to listen to whatever you want, but the inventors say (and I believe) that the relaxation effects won’t be as pronounced if you use it that way. Of course, if you’re using it for hypnokink perviness or somesuch, maybe you don’t care about that.

 

Final thoughts

If you can spare $249 and you want an inventive product that’ll help you chill out, I think you’d dig the Sensate. I’m honestly really glad I own one.

But also, you don’t need it. Maybe just try holding your vibrator against your chest while you meditate sometimes? 🤷🏻‍♀️

 

Thanks to Sensate for sending me their product to try! They didn’t pay me for this review or anything, I just think it’s a cool product and wanted to write about it.

The Hole Punch Fluke is a Perfect Sex Toy

Kate Sloan

One of the hazards of being a professional sex toy reviewer is that sometimes I’m so busy reviewing toys I have to review that I neglect to review the toys I actually bought with my own money. But quite often, they are excellent and deserve to be written about!

My friend Epiphora mentioned the Fluke by Hole Punch Toys in a recent blog post of hers, and it made me realize that I’ve never reviewed this toy on my blog, despite it possibly being one of my top-10 favorite toys of all time. So let’s rectify that, shall we?!

 

What is the Fluke?

The Hole Punch Fluke is a silicone plug that can be used either vaginally or anally. Like most plugs, it is designed to stay put once you insert it, comfortably, without requiring much (if any) readjustment. I personally have never used it anally because it’s a bit too large for my butt – its diameter is a hefty 2″ at the widest point – but I love it for vaginal use, as I’ll explain in more detail below.

That’s pretty much it. It doesn’t vibrate or do anything fancy, and it doesn’t need to; it’s just an exceptionally well-designed plug that fulfills a purpose in my sex toy collection that no other toy really does.

What makes this toy so great?

  • First and foremost, the Fluke is simply the best toy I’ve ever found for passive G-spot stimulation, by which I mean, G-spot stimulation that requires zero ongoing effort on my part. Because of its girth, its exaggerated coronal ridge, and the firmness of its silicone, it exerts pressure constantly against my G-spot while it’s inside me. This makes it excellent for lazy masturbators (i.e. me) as well as for people who have chronic pain or strength issues that make it difficult for them to thrust a dildo in and out (also me).
  • Because of how it passively provides stimulation, the Fluke pairs brilliantly with anything and everything that would benefit from added G-spot (or prostate) stimulation: clitoral or penile pleasure, making out, grinding/dry-humping, spanking, public play, forced orgasm play, performing or receiving oral sex, watching porn/reading erotica, and so on.
  • It makes my orgasms extra intense, because of its girth, firmness, and ability to target my G-spot so directly. I most often use this toy during phone-sex scenes that are focused predominantly on me receiving oral sex; I find that orgasms from clitoral stimulation alone are not always the most satisfying for me, but having a thick piece of G-spot-focused silicone inside me makes them much more intense.
  • Amazingly enough, I have found that the Fluke can make me squirt without me having to actually do anything. It is one of the only toys in existence that can do that, because of the intensity of G-spot stimulation that’s generally needed to produce squirting. Wow.
  • The Fluke is available in a few different colors, all gorgeous ombrés. Mine is a stunning teal/blue and it also comes in orange/yellow and pink/purple. I deeply appreciate sex toy companies that offer fun colorways, especially since it makes their toys potentially more accessible to folks who experience gender dysphoria.
  • Hole Punch Toys is owned and operated by an awesome human named Colin who makes unique, artisanal sex toys out of his art studio in Saint Paul, Minnesota. I really admire the boldness and artistry of his work, and hope to someday own the terrifying-yet-sexy gun dildo he makes! (Content note: it’s literally a dildo that looks like a gun.)

 

Does this toy have any flaws?

  • I think the girth of this toy is likeliest to cause issues for users if anything will. As I mentioned before, it has a 2″ diameter at its widest point, which is significantly larger than most penises and “beginner-friendly” dildos. I find it comfortable if I’m already plenty aroused when I insert it, and if I use lots of water-based lube, but if your orifice prefers petite penetration, this probably isn’t the toy for you.
  • The silicone is a little draggy so you do need a lot of lube.
  • I literally cannot think of anything else that I dislike about this toy. It is that good.

 

Final thoughts

The Hole Punch Fluke is my go-to toy when I want to feel filled up, and have my G-spot stimulated, with minimal effort. I have not found any other toy that does what it does quite so effectively. It also happens to be so cute and beautiful that even just seeing it on my nightstand improves my mood.

Supporting indie toymakers is a cause close to my heart – some others I love are Funkit Toys and Weal & Breech, FYI – and so I’m thrilled to be able to introduce my readers to this glorious toy!

 

You can buy the Hole Punch Fluke at SheVibe ($67 USD), the Smitten Kitten ($66 USD), or Come As You Are ($98 CAD).

This post was not sponsored, but I do get a little kickback (at no extra cost to you) when you buy through my affiliate links. As always, all opinions stated here are my genuine opinions.

Review: CalExotics Red Hot Flare

Kate Sloan

I am a big fan of clitoral pleasure, so I’m always thrilled when I see sex toy companies taking novel approaches to clitoral stimulation.

There are so many different ways toys can touch this long-underestimated organ: they can vibrate it, suck it, blow rhythmic airwaves at it, massage it with a rotating wheel of tongues, and so much more. It’s a part of the body that, as far as we know, exists only to make us feel good – so why not try out as many different avenues of pleasure as possible?

That’s why I like clitoral vibrators that have two “prongs” or “ears,” so as to surround the clit on both sides, the way a partner’s lips can. They just feel different from any other type of toy, and help me discover wonderful new sensations within my own body. The one I’m reviewing today is the Red Hot Flare vibrator from CalExotics, sent to me by my pals at Mindful. Let’s talk about it.

What is the Red Hot Flare?

The Red Hot Flare is a USB-rechargeable, silicone clitoral vibrator made by CalExotics. Formerly known as California Exotic Novelties, this company was once infamous among sex toy reviewers for pumping out toxic, low-quality toys for ultra-low prices – and, while they still do their fair share of that, they have significantly stepped things up over the past decade and now make many body-safe, decent-quality products.

As I mentioned, this vibe is unlike most clit vibes in that it has two little “bunny ears” that its vibration transmits into. I think there are a few main reasons someone might prefer a two-pronged vibe over a more traditional clitoral vibe:

  1. If you are transmasculine or have feelings in that direction and would like a clitoral toy that feels gender-affirming, this type of toy might be a good pick. You can stroke the ears up and down on either side of your shaft for a BJ- or HJ-esque feeling. (I will say, however, that this particular vibe may not work as well for someone who has experienced much bottom growth on testosterone, because the distance between the ears is pretty minimal. They’re flexible, so you could make it work, but I think this toy is better suited for people with small- to medium-sized clits.)
  2. If your clit is very sensitive and/or you just prefer indirect clitoral stimulation (like me!), you might enjoy the way these vibrators can stimulate your clitoral shaft through your inner labia and clitoral hood, rather than stimulating the tip of your clit directly, which can be painful for some people. These vibes also stimulate deeper parts of the internal clit than most toys do – most notably, the clitoral bulbs, which are located inside the body on either side of the vaginal opening.
  3. If you’re very sensitive and enjoy light, fluttery sensations on your clit, like very gentle tongue-flicking, you might like this type of vibe because the ears (especially if quite thin and flexible) may sort of flutter back and forth when they vibrate. You can position them wherever feels best: the tip of your clit, the side of the shaft, the top through the clitoral hood, etc.

No matter how you’re using this toy, make sure to use a good water-based lube with it. This is especially important if you’ll be stroking it up and down or otherwise moving it around in any way, but the fluttery motion of the ears feels better with lube even when I’m holding it totally still.

 

Things I like about this vibrator

  • It is surprisingly powerful and respectably rumbly. This, as I’ve ranted about before, is the most important quality of any vibrator: its motor. The strength and rumbliness of this toy are such that I can orgasm from it easily and hardly experience any desensitization with it. Good job, CalEx!!
  • There are a lot of different potential ways to use this toy. I love that it invites exploration and experimentation. For example, sometimes I will tease my clitoral shaft through my hood with the tips of the ears, massage each side of it through my inner labia, and then eventually switch to the position that generally makes me come: one ear on either side of my clit, with the top of my clit nestled into the crook between the two ears. Full surround-sound stimulation, baybee.
  • This toy stimulates the sides and base of my clitoral shaft in a way that almost no toys do (at least not without some creative positioning), which, for me, makes orgasms feel more intense and full-bodied, and less overstimulating. For my particular clitoral preferences, I’d much rather use a toy shaped like this than a standard bullet vibe on most occasions.
  • The ears are very flexible – way moreso than those of similar toys I’ve tried, like the Jimmyjane Form 2 and We-Vibe Gala – which makes it easy for me to position them on either side of my clit, even as it swells with arousal.
  • The toy is quite petite, which makes it great for travel/transport (especially since it has a travel lock function) and also means it would be useable during PIV in pretty much any position.

 

Things I don’t like about this vibrator

  • The main issue is the battery life. The instruction manual for this toy says that a fully charged battery will last up to 30 minutes on the highest speed; in my experience, that is a generous estimate. I use the toy at various different speeds throughout a session, not just the highest one, and I typically have to charge this one after every 30-40 minutes of use. There’s also no visible indicator that the battery is close to dying, which is why one day the toy unfortunately shut off when I was about 5 seconds away from orgasm. Sigh. (Don’t worry, I grabbed my Eroscillator to finish the job.)
  • This toy only has 3 steady speeds, followed by 7 patterns, and you have to scroll through each setting one at a time using its one button. Fortunately, if you just want to get back to the first steady speed, you can achieve that more quickly by turning the vibe off and then on again. As always with toys that work this way, I wish this one had more steady speeds, fewer patterns, and even just one more button to help me navigate to whatever setting I’m looking for more easily.
  • The space between the ears is so slim that I always end up having to manually reposition each “ear” on either side of my clit whenever I move the vibe or take a break. It would be way better if the ears would just spread open when I push my clit between them, but that would require more space between the ears to begin with. I feel like most toys of this type are made with the assumption that all clits are small and that none of them get larger when aroused, which is… not the case.
  • While the motor and bendiness of this toy feel better than those of the Jimmyjane Form 2, I miss the thickness and firmness of the Form 2’s ears, because of the way they stimulated the spots between my inner labia and outer labia. That’s one of the best/easiest ways to stimulate the clitoral bulbs, but it requires that the ears have a little more heft to them so you can press them into the flesh there, and this toy does not have that ability.
  • The silicone is highly prone to collecting lint/hairs/dust (as you can see in the photos in this post, sigh), and is also pretty draggy. Lube is imperative.

 

Final thoughts

The CalExotics Red Hot Flare is, in many ways, a fantastic vibrator. It stimulates my clit in a pretty unique manner, has a delightfully rumbly and powerful motor, and is discreet and travel-friendly enough for long-distance sexy adventures. It gives me intense orgasms with ease.

But it won’t work for everyone’s anatomy, and frankly, for $100, I expect better battery life than what this one offers. If CalExotics fixed that issue, this would become a top-drawer favorite of mine, but I’m just not willing to charge a vibrator after literally every use.

If you love clitoral stimulation, particularly the kind that is indirect and focuses mostly on your clitoral shaft, you’d probably dig the Red Hot Flare. As long as you don’t mind keeping its charger by the bed forever.

 

Thanks to the folks at Mindful for sending me this product to review! This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

5 Ill-Advised Items I’ve Used as Sex Toys (& What I Should’ve Used Instead)

Kate Sloan

Ah, the follies of youth.

We all make bad choices sometimes, but young people are especially prone to them, because they haven’t yet gained the life experience and knowledge they need to make better decisions for themselves; that self-education is a lifelong process.

I also think sexuality is an area where mistakes are easily made, both because lust and arousal are powerful disinhibitors and because far too many educational institutions still offer painfully inaccurate or nonexistent sex education.

Some of my silliest sexual mistakes prior to becoming sexually active (which brought a whole slew of even more mistakes) were related to using weird household objects to jerk off with. Now that I’ve grown up and literally review adult sex toys for a living, I know better… but back then, I was just feeling things out, so to speak. For your amusement and edification, here are some of the non-sexual items I have used for sexual purposes, and some suggestions of what I should have used instead…

 

An electric toothbrush

The classic. I’m sure I know dozens of people who’ve tried this at least once.

While I did occasionally find that the bristly side felt good in a vaguely masochistic way, usually I flipped the toothbrush around and used the back of the head. The vibration produced by electric toothbrushes is typically extremely buzzy, so I would have to rub it in circles against myself in order to feel much of anything. I got off that way regularly back then, but don’t think I could do so now, with my older, less easily orgasmic, more skeptical clit.

Obviously there are hygiene issues when doing this (I did not use a toothbrush that was currently anyone’s actual toothbrush) and, while the shape/size of an electric toothbrush is close to ideal for many clits, the stimulation itself leaves something to be desired. I think a slim, focused vibe like the Zumio would be the most logical upgrade.

 

A body massager I bought for about $5.99 at a discount shop

This thing was so weird. I’m sure I still have it somewhere. It was L-shaped, to help you reach sore spots on your shoulders and back (theoretically). It was EXTREMELY loud, such that I always had to put music on whenever I used it, and would get myself off with it as quickly as possible so no one would hear. The vibrations were powerful, but not particularly rumbly, which also contributed to me wanting to finish as fast as I could every time – using this vibe for too many minutes made my clit numb.

I didn’t have the budget for it back then, being a teen with no job, but it definitely would’ve been better to use something like the Magic Wand. And ideally I’d be able to soundproof my room as well 😂

 

A remote control for a stereo

I don’t think I ever used this penetratively… At least, I hope I didn’t…

My stereo’s remote was rounded off at one end, and I discovered somehow that rubbing it gently against my clit through my underwear felt good. It was something about the firmness of the hard plastic, paired with the softness of the curved edge. Hey, who knows why teenagers do what they do.

In retrospect, I probably could have achieved a similar effect with many other items – including my own fingers, if I’d used a light touch. But I didn’t have as much of a manual masturbation “repertoire” at that time so I didn’t know all the different sensations I could give myself without any toys (or makeshift toys) at all.

 

A shampoo bottle

Let me clarify… This was a bottle of Neutrogena T-Gel shampoo, which comes in a more slender bottle than most shampoos. Still, though – it’s a bit of an odd choice for penetration, which is the way I was using it. Hard plastic is a decent material for sexual usage in that it’s nonporous and generally body-safe, but the angular edges on many shampoo bottles make them uncomfortable at best and dangerous at worst.

I’ve only ever done this under very specific circumstances: I was jerking off in the tub, using my fingers or a clitoral vibe, and had trouble reaching orgasm, so I decided to add some penetration to get me there. (With my hand strength issues being what they are, usually I can only use up to 2 fingers inside myself comfortably, so if I’m alone and want penetration larger than that, it has to be with some kind of implement.) A small-to-average-sized dildo made of a firm material would’ve been a better choice, like any of the inexpensive glass ones I loved in my early 20s.

 

A cucumber

I mostly just tried this as a joke. Also, at some point long ago, I read a surprisingly hot erotica story about a woman who is overtaken by sexual curiosity about her neighbor’s vegetable garden and steals one of his cucumbers for masturbation purposes. That’s an image that doesn’t really leave you. 🥒

My partner brought home an enormous, slightly curved cucumber from the store one day because they were planning on using it to make some refreshing summer cocktails for us, but like the sex nerds that we are, we decided to fuck with it first. We left the plastic wrapping on it, which was a mistake, because it had some sharp seams that, uh, did not agree with my vagina.

If I wanted to try this again, I’d take the wrapping off and replace it with a regular condom (which is also what you should do if you ever plan on fucking yourself or anyone else with a piece of produce). Or I’d just use a dildo. 🤷🏻‍♀️

 

This post was sponsored. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: BigShocked 8-Inch Silicone Wolf Dog Dildo

Kate Sloan

Content note: As this dildo is inspired by dog/wolf penises, there will be some discussion in this post of canine mating habits. No bestiality, just dog-on-dog stuff. I know. I’m sorry. Let’s get through it together.

So-called “fantasy dildos” have never interested me that much, although I do find other people’s interest in them to be, in itself, interesting.

Almost all of my fantasies are about humans, rather than being about animals, mythical creatures, supernatural beings, extraterrestrials, or anything else. And to be clear, I’m not saying that in a judgey way. I think fantasy is just fantasy, and that doing bestiality is unethical but you can fantasize about whatever you want. I also think it’s cool as hell that the human sexual psyche is so wide-ranging and inventive. This is just not a side of it that holds much appeal for me personally.

But then the folks at Bigshocked offered to send me a dildo to review, and I was amazed by their wide selection of alien dildos, monster dildos, horse dildos, and dog dildos, just to name a few. I figured, when am I going to get another chance to review something so odd and out-there? (Well, probably pretty soon, if my career history is any indication, but hey, it’s a figure of speech.) After much deliberation, I asked for the 8-inch silicone wolf/dog dildo in a luminescent shade of green.

 

Sent this photo to my partner to show them what I was working on today. Dating me is an adventure.

What makes this dildo doglike and why the hell did I choose it?

While working on this review, I did some research on canine mating habits. I had to, because almost all my knowledge on this topic comes from a source I wouldn’t necessarily trust for scientific accuracy: erotic fanfiction.

See, there’s a fanfic genre known as “omegaverse” which incorporates elements of dog reproduction alongside tropey misconceptions about how wolf societies work. (The concept of wolf packs containing “alpha males,” “beta males,” etc. has been debunked, as it was based on observations of wolves in captivity, not out in the wild where they would normally be.)

In omegaverse fanfic – or at least, in the stories I’ve read from that genre – typically there’s an “alpha” character and an “omega” character. Every so often, the omega goes into heat, at which time they become sexually irresistible to alphas and also become irrepressibly horny for alpha dick. When an alpha fucks an omega, the alpha’s cock goes through a process called “knotting,” whereby a portion of the penis near the base (the “knot”) swells outward, effectively locking the alpha and omega together because the alpha cannot physically remove their dick from the omega while the knot is swollen.

I looked into it and a lot of this is accurate to how dogs mate. Most notably, knotting is a real thing that happens to dogs – but it’s definitely not as sexy/sensual/romantic as omegaverse fic makes it sound. For instance, the male dog usually turns around mid-bang so that he’s standing butt-to-butt with his mate, dick bending back between his legs. (Ever tried to do this as a human fucking a human? Sounds painful.) Peep this paragraph from an informative webpage I unfortunately read in its entirety while researching this review:

Dogs new to mating may experience a bit of anxiety at being locked together, but it’s a natural process. Help your dog to remain calm and stand still until the two can safely separate. This will occur on its own once the male dog’s arousal subsides.

Anyway, not to prattle on too long about dog sex (oops, I definitely already have), but I mainly was drawn to this dildo because I’ve enjoyed omegaverse fic before and find it hot to imagine someone being so turned on by my pussy that their dick literally gets too hard for them to physically remove it. I mean, come on.

 

Stuff I like about this dildo

  • I think people who are into those canine/omegaverse-type fantasies will be satisfied by the shape of this,  both visually and tactilely. I didn’t subject myself to a Google image search of dog dicks (sorry, I can only be as intrepid a sex toy reviewer as my anxious mind and sensitive stomach will allow), but I think this one looks pretty legit and ticks all the right boxes, so to speak.
  • On that note, it’s one of the less expensive fantasy dildos I’ve seen, so if you’re thirsty for alpha dick but gotta stick to a budget, I think this is a perfectly serviceable choice.
  • Even setting aside the animal aspect of this toy, I find the shape pleasurable and interesting. It’s rare to find a dildo with a tapered tip and a thick knot-like swell in the middle, so it really doesn’t feel like many other dildos I have tried. Its pointed tip hits my A-spot easily, but gently, when inserted all the way. The knotted section doesn’t do much for my G-spot because it protrudes moreso sideways than up-and-down, but it massages my vaginal walls in unusual ways and creates sensations I’ve rarely felt before.
  • For me, the size is reasonable and enjoyable. The shaft ranges in diameter from 1.37″ to 1.77″, and the insertable length is 6.93″, so I can get most of it inside me when I’m fully aroused. It never feels uncomfortable size-wise, only texture-wise (more on that later).
  • The teardrop-shaped base is excellent. I prefer when dildo bases offer some way to tell how the dildo is oriented when it’s inside you, because otherwise mine end up rotating around without me noticing, and then suddenly I’m using a G-spot dildo sideways and wondering why it feels like I’m getting a pap smear from an angry and overcaffeinated doctor. The base of this dildo makes it immediately clear to me which way it’s facing, so I don’t have to worry about that.
  • The base is also flared enough that you could use this toy anally and/or in a strap-on. Hot.

 

Stuff I don’t like about this dildo

  • In terms of quality, this dildo is definitely lacking. This toy only costs $36.50 and you are getting what you pay for. The swirls of color in it are artless and kind of ugly (IMO), and it just doesn’t feel as thoughtfully designed or carefully made as pricier dildos I’ve owned from Tantus, Uberrime, and so on. That said, I did administer a flame test to this Bigshocked dildo and the results seemed to indicate it is indeed made of pure silicone, as it claims to be.
  • I kind of wish the knot was firmer! Hell, maybe I just wish the whole dildo was firmer (its silicone is “Medium Super Soft Shore 10A”). This is very much a matter of personal taste, but one of the reasons I was excited about the knot was that I figured it would make orgasmic contractions feel more intense – but actually, it’s squishy enough that it didn’t make much of a difference sensation-wise. The orgasms are still good (I mean, they’re orgasms!), but I feel I would come harder with a firmer toy.
  • For me, the ribbed texture on the shaft is a bit much. I’m talking mostly about the part of the shaft between the head and the knot. There are times when it feels amazing against my vaginal walls, but also times when it feels scrapey and overstimulating. I would definitely recommend using a thick water-based lube liberally with this toy.
  • The silicone is very glossy, which means it’s also very prone to collecting lint and hairs, and amassing static electricity. This is annoying but not a huge deal.
  • Assuming you’re using this dildo vaginally, you kind of have to be fully aroused to get the full experience of it, because of how long it is and how far down the shaft the knot is located. If you’re unable to insert a dildo more than 4″ into you, you won’t comfortably reach the knot, so I would recommend doing a fair bit of warm-up before using this toy to make sure your vaginal canal has lengthened enough to accommodate it.

 

Final thoughts

If you love the thought of getting fucked by a doglike dick – and hey, I’m not judging – I think the Bigshocked silicone wolf/dog dildo will have you howling with delight.

It’s not the fanciest toy in the world, and not one that especially appeals to my own sexual sensibilities, but I’m glad I own one now, so that it’ll be around any time I’m craving a… bone.

 

This post was sponsored. That means I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.