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Porn Review: Crash Pad Series #131

Kate Sloan

I feel kind of embarrassed to admit that I’m not the biggest fan of April Flores. I don’t know what it is; she’s utterly gorgeous, very sexy, and shows up all the time in the kind of porn I love, but I just can’t get into her.

Still, though, I was interested to see her shoot for Crash Pad Series. Crash Pad’s “solo” videos are always amusing and often arousing, because a story has to be invented for why this person ended up masturbating alone in the Crash Pad (see: Dylan Ryan getting “trapped” in a voyeur situation and then needing to jerk off immediately afterward). In April’s case, there isn’t much in the way of story: she knows all about the Keymaster, the fictional voyeuristic character who leers curiously at every Crash Pad performer via a camera-and-computer setup, and so April decides to put on a show.

This concept is not hot to me. I like my voyeurism to be secretive and subtle; I never want to feel like the porn performers are aware of my presence, or the camera’s presence. April talks to the Keymaster/camera for much of the scene, saying things like “I wish you were here right now,” which doesn’t do anything for me. But I think a lot of people would really like this extra dimension that the scene has, judging by the success of “cam girls” and point-of-view videos.

This scene is a toy lover’s dream. April announces early in the scene that she’s brought some of her favorite toys, and then pulls out her Pure Wand and Hitachi. If you’re slightly “toysexual” like me, you’ll appreciate this. I love the moment where April says, “Should I put [the Hitachi] on high speed?” and then looks down, giggles, and says, “Oh, that was high speed!”

April has huge, marvelous tits which she can suck on. She also has some of the most beautiful hair in the business. There’s no shortage of gorgeousness in this scene.

I appreciate that she seems to genuinely love masturbating. I’ve seen porn stars less excited about partner sex than April is about getting herself off. She’s nothing if not enthusiastic. And she has some hella sexy moans.

About halfway through the scene, something hilarious and unexpected happens: April pulls out a replica of her own vulva and proceeds to finger it, lick it, and fuck it with the Pure Wand. I can’t say I can find this sexy, nor can I really understand what made April want to do it, but it’s pretty funny.

While this scene didn’t turn me on, I think there is a niche audience out there who would really enjoy it. If you like POV porn, enjoy the idea of someone putting on a sexy show for you, and/or want to see April Flores lick her own pussy, then yeah, you might dig it!

Lube Week, Day 4: Sliquid Organics Natural

Kate Sloan

The final product in my week o’ lubes: Sliquid Organics Natural, sent to me by Conscious Contraceptives!

This lube is from Sliquid’s line of 100% organic products. Great news if you’re passionate about keeping grossness out of your body! The line includes arousal gel, a thick gel lubricant, a water/silicone hybrid lube, and a warming lube. But today we’ll be looking at the basic model, which is simply called Natural.

It has a thin, runny, liquidy consistency, pretty much the opposite of a gel. This means that it’s probably better suited for vaginal play than anal.

Without any extra moisture, it dries within about three minutes. It can be reactivated with a little spit or water, which gives it another thirty seconds or so. Because of the short lasting time of this lube, I’d again recommend only using it for vaginal purposes; if you apply it at the start of a session and jump right into the action, the lube will probably wear off just in time for your natural fluids to kick in.

I haven’t really found much use for this lube because of how thin and short-lasting it is. If it’s important to you that you only use organic products, then Sliquid Organics Natural is certainly one of the best choices, but I’d encourage you to also check out the gel version because it’ll stick around for longer and be useful for more situations.

Thanks so much to Conscious Contraceptives for sending me this product and most of the others that I’ve reviewed this week! Make sure you read up on their mission so you know what they’re all about (trust me, it’s good!).

Lube Week, Day 3: Sliquid Organics Stimulating O Gel

Kate Sloan

I’m not the biggest fan of “arousal gels,” but if you’re gonna get one, you should get Sliquid Organics Stimulating O Gel.

Seriously, even high-end companies make the mistake of putting glycerine in their arousal gels. As if they think it’s not a big deal because you’re only putting it on your clit, not in your vag. As if gravity doesn’t exist. As if no one likes to get their G-spot tingly as well as their clit. Silly lube manufacturers!

As usual, Sliquid gets it exactly right. Their ingredients list doesn’t contain anything that’ll lead to vaginal misery.

Peppermint oil and menthol create that tingling sensation. It has a sweet, minty taste and smell. The tingling lasts about five minutes, which is more than I can say for any other arousal gel I’ve tried.

But is it orgasmic? Well, sorta. When I can manage to reach orgasm during the five-minute tingling window (rarely), the orgasm does seem to be more intense. Then I’m left with a sticky clit, of course, but that’s no biggie.

I’ve never really been a fan of cooling lubricants – I find them more distracting than arousing – but if you like ‘em, Sliquid O Gel is the one I would recommend.

Thanks very much to Conscious Contraceptives for letting me try out this gel! Be sure to check out their mission statement and support their good work in any way you can.

Giveaway: Tantus Tsunami from SheVibe!

Kate Sloan

I have excellent news for you today, lovelies: I’m teaming up with primo sex toy retailer SheVibe to give away a Tantus Tsunami!

I had the good fortune of reviewing a Tsunami last month, and it’s easily one of my favorite dildos. Made of 100% body-safe silicone, it features several delicious ridges and a curved tip. If your G-spot or A-spot need some loving, the Tsunami is just the ticket. It also has a flared base, so you can use it anally, and a spot for a bullet vibe, which it comes with.

This competition is open to anyone in the USA, Canada, UK, or Australia who is age 18 or older. The winner will be chosen at random; the more ways and times you enter, the more of a chance you have to win! The winner will get to pick whichever color of Tsunami they’d prefer (strawberry, purple haze, or midnight purple).

a Rafflecopter giveaway
Edited to add: Please note:
1. Reblogging this post counts as one entry, for “reblog.” It does not count toward “blog about this giveaway.”
2. When you submit an entry for “blog about this giveaway,” that entry must have a link to this post.
3. When you submit an entry for “comment on another post,” that comment must be thoughtful and non-spammy. For example, a smiley face or “Great post!” does not count.

Lube Week, Day 2: OO Lube

Kate Sloan

When I was offered some products from OO Lube to review, I said yes immediately. There are soooo many questionable lubes out there – lubes that contain vagina-hatin’ ingredients like glycerine, propylene glycol, and parabens – that any vag-safe product immediately gets my attention.

OO Lube is free of all those nasties. It’s water-based, so it’s safe to use with condoms and any kind of sex toy. If you’re shopping for a lube based solely on ingredients, it’s one of the best you’ll find.

I was sent a bottle of their warming lube, as well as samples of their original and tingling formulas. The bottle is really lovely; it seems to be made of aluminum, and feels very sturdy and durable. It has a pump-top, so you can easily get just as much lube as you need.

I should tell you right off the bat that I’m not a huge fan of tingling or warming lubes. I like a little bit of something tingly on my clit from time to time, but inside my vagina? No thanks, I’ll pass.

However, OO Lube is a bit different. The warming is created by cinnamon leaf essential oil, and the tingling comes from triple-distilled peppermint and eucalyptus essential oil. These are natural, organic ingredients, and I find that they’re less intense than the other hot or cold lubes I’ve tried. Some people will want super intense ingredients that are akin to getting IcyHot on your junk, but I prefer a milder sensation, so I liked these. My boyfriend couldn’t feel the warm or cold through a condom, and was actually grateful for that, but you might not be.

I do wish the sensation lasted a little longer, though. Both the warmth and the tingling wear off after a minute or two, so I have to reapply if I want more.

The texture of the lube itself is nice and slick, almost oil-like. It fares about as well as you can expect from a water-based lube; with no added moisture, it’ll wear off after two minutes or so.

The warming lube tastes and smells cinnamon-y, the tingling lube tastes and smells like mint, and the original formula has a pleasant but subtle herbal smell (I’m guessing this is from the lavender extract it contains). These lubes taste fine in tiny doses, but I’m not sure I would recommend using the warming or tingling ones if oral sex will be involved; just a drop on my tongue was kind of uncomfortable for me.

OO Lube isn’t my favorite lube, because it doesn’t last very long, but the warming and tingling formulas are nice and I’ll be using them when I want to mix it up. If you’re looking for hot or cold lube with no objectionable ingredients, this is a good choice.

Thanks, OO Lube, for sending me your nifty products to try!