Sex Toy Reviews

Review: Funejoy Clitoral Sucking Egg Vibrator

Kate Sloan

People often tell me they wish they had my job, and I get it – but the truth is, it’s still a job, and a job means work, and work isn’t always fun. Sometimes I pout and groan and mope when I have to test a toy. Sometimes I flop dramatically onto my bed and announce to my spouse, “I don’t WANT to test toys today!!” Sometimes I would simply rather read a book, or play a video game, or write a sad personal essay than put a foreign object of uncertain quality onto my genitals with one hand while taking notes with the other. I know it sounds strange, but it’s true.

I was feeling similarly petulant about toy-testing the day that I first put the Funejoy Clitoral Sucking Egg Vibrator on my clit – and let me tell you, this toy changed my mind fast.

While described primarily as a suction toy, this little egg seems to also incorporate vibration into its design. I’ve tried plenty of toys that paired vibrations and pressure-waves in similar ways, but that pairing feels more seamless in this toy than in any others I’ve tried. The vibration (if indeed it is there) feels immediately way rumblier than what you’ll find on other toys of this type, and profoundly enhances the intense clitoral suction this toy can create.

“Intense” is, in fact, one of the main words I’d use to describe this toy. The suction/vibration combo makes even its lowest setting feel like a mid-range speed on a luxe rechargeable vibe (think Lelo or Jopen). While this will surely be a huge advantage for many users, for me it’s sort of a mixed bag; the “mouth” of this little egg is only really big enough to focus on the tip of my clit, the area that most vehemently dislikes overly intense stimulation. However, as with some other toys like this, I’ve found that it helps immensely to reposition the mouth so it sits on top of my clit, stimulating it through the clitoral hood. This softens the sensation substantially so that I can enjoy the toy’s intensity without tipping over into discomfort or pain. As a bonus, there’s an extra ring of silicone around the mouth that feels lovely on my labia during use.

There are 10 different modes available to you with this toy: 3 steady speeds and 7 patterns. The steady speeds aren’t as spaced-out as I would prefer, striking me instead as basically “high,” “higher,” and “highest.” Some of the patterns are too erratic and inconsistent for me to enjoy them, although they’d work well for intentional teasing, edging, or denial. A few of the patterns are uncomplicatedly pleasurable, though; I especially like the steady pulse modes, because there are almost no breaks between pulses and the pattern feels more like actual oral sex than steady stimulation does (particularly when well-lubed).

The cute egg shape of this toy has its benefits and its drawbacks. It’s aesthetically pleasing, doesn’t really “look like a sex toy,” and fits nicely in my hand. It’s probably too bulky to use while having penetrative sex in missionary position, unless you make some modifications to the position, but that same bulkiness makes it fantastic for hands-free play – just a little pressure from my thighs keeps it exactly where I need it. When using it this way, I can place one fingertip on the gently pointed end of the toy and thereby control its exact angle very precisely – and I don’t know about you, but angle of clitoral suction can make a lot of difference for me in terms of sensation, especially as I get closer to orgasm. This hands-free (or nearly-hands-free) method of using the toy also pairs especially well with cunnilingus fantasies, I find.

While it’s decently quiet while in use, this toy makes a slurpy racket when you’re positioning or repositioning it on your vulva, so it’s likely not the best choice if you need to remain nearly noiseless. That said, I wouldn’t generally expect a toy that costs $25 (!!) to be quiet anyway.

Yes, I did just say that the Funejoy Clitoral Sucking Egg Vibrator costs $25. I think that’s astonishingly reasonable, given that this toy is as powerful as some of my $120-150 vibrators and pressure wave toys, if not moreso. It’s also rechargeable and waterproof, both qualities you don’t tend to see at this price point. The main reason I’m shocked at its low price, though, is that it’s rumbly as hell. Unlike buzzy vibes, this one makes orgasm feel within reach for much of the time that I’m using it, and doesn’t seem to numb me out even after 5+ minutes of use. It makes my legs shake, and makes me feel – regardless of what mood I was in before – that testing sex toys isn’t worth moping about after all.

 

This review was sponsored, which means I was paid to write a fair and honest review of the product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

My Most Expensive Sex Toys: Are They Worth It?!

Kate Sloan

I get a lot of questions from readers that amount to “Is [x sex toy] worth its price tag?”

It’s a difficult question, because the answer depends on so many factors. How much are you able to spend on toys? What types of stimulation do you like? What other toys do you already own? The list goes on.

However, we can do a certain amount of generalizing in order to say whether a toy’s price is overall reflective of its value. Today I’m going to attempt to answer that big question – “Is this worth it?” – about five of the most expensive toys in my collection. Let’s hop in…

Njoy Eleven

Price: $300-400 USD, depending on where you get it – although I was able to get mine for $180 CAD in a really great sale in 2015.

What makes it worth it:

  • The Eleven is huge, heavy, and beautiful. There is really nothing like it.
  • It’s one of the best tools in the biz for intense, focused stimulation of your G-spot and/or A-spot (depending on anatomy).
  • With two ends that are both absolutely splendid, you’re getting more bang for your buck – so to speak – than you’d get from a single-sided dildo.
  • The ridges on one side make for a comfortable grip, so you can fuck yourself (or get fucked by someone else) surprisingly hard with the Eleven, without as much exertion as some other dildos require.
  • Stainless steel is easy to clean and easy to sanitize. There are no tricky cracks or seams on this toy that require special care.
  • Stainless steel is also compatible with every type of lube, so you can use your fave and it won’t damage the toy.
  • It will last you your entire life – unless you lose it – and you will likely even be able to pass it on to your kin as a horny heirloom.
  • The Eleven comes in a gorgeous gift-ready wooden box. It also comes with an elegant leather bag you can use to store and transport the toy, both to avoid getting scratches on it and because it’s fancy as fuck.

What makes it not-so-worth it:

  • This is a very heavy and thus unwieldy dildo. Folks with strength/mobility issues – and even those without – may have a difficult time thrusting with it.
  • At 1.75″ and 2″ in diameter, respectively, both of the Eleven’s two ends are designed for users who like size – both girth and length (although you can insert as much or as little of the length as you like). Folks who prefer smaller dildos will likely struggle with this.
  • Furthermore, because the material is as unyielding as they come, this toy is the opposite of beginner-friendly. If you’re wading into the wild waters of Big Penetration, I think you’d be better off starting with something like the super-squishy VixSkin Maverick.
  • If you dislike texture, the ribbed side might not get much use (or any), which reduces the toy’s usefulness significantly.
  • The Eleven doesn’t have a flared base, so it’s not ideal for anal penetration – although I do know plenty of people who take it that way regularly without trouble. (It’s too heavy for your butt to really be able to swallow it up if you’re holding onto it and paying attention.)

Overall: Worth it, if you know for a fact that you like big, hard penetration, and you (or the partner[s] who’ll be fucking you with it) have no problem manipulating heavyish objects. This is one of my most-used dildos and remains a gleaming top-drawer fave nearly 5 years after acquiring it.

Where to buy: SheVibe ($399.99 USD), the Smitten Kitten ($400.99 USD), Come As You Are ($320 CAD/about $255 USD), Peepshow Toys ($399.99 USD)

Eroscillator Top Deluxe Soft Finger Combo

Price: $239 USD

What makes it worth it: 

  • Nothing else feels like this toy. For me at least, it causes far less numbness/desensitization than standard vibrations (by “oscillating” instead of vibrating), and the pleasure and orgasms it produces feel much deeper and, uh, more pleasurable than what I get from a lot of vibrators, even high-end ones.
  • It’s well-designed for holding onto, even with lubey hands. That textured body means I can always keep a good grip on it and can flip between settings easily and quickly.
  • I have found the Eroscillator’s shape to be ideal for adding clitoral stimulation during penetrative sex. It slips between bodies fairly easily and feels fabulous paired with penetration.
  • This Eroscillator (the Top Deluxe) is more powerful than the original by a significant amount. (Still may not be powerful enough for everyone, though, as discussed below.)
  • This particular set comes with every Eroscillator attachment worth having, so you can experiment with many different sensations. However, like many other sex educators who love this toy, I prefer the soft fingertip attachment over any other, and use it 99% of the time when I use this toy (if not more). Even if you choose to buy a standalone Eroscillator to save money, I suggest adding the fingertip attachment to your cart; it is next-level.
  • As far as clitoral stimulators go, this is one of the quietest I’ve ever encountered – so if you want clit stim but have to keep the noise down, this might be a good pick.
  • Compared to something like a wand, the Eroscillator is fairly travel-friendly – you can remove the attachment and wrap the cord around the body before packing it, and it takes up only about as much space as an average-sized dildo, if not less.

What makes it not-so-worth it:

  • It’s a plug-in toy, so you have to be near an outlet to use it (although the cord is 12 feet long so you have plenty of wiggle room if you need it).
  • Although the Top Deluxe is more powerful than the original Eroscillator, I still wouldn’t recommend it for any self-identified “power queens” (or other power monarchs), unless you’re trying to cut back on super-strong vibrator usage by trying something different.
  • A lot of people find this toy ugly. At this point it’s given me so many hundreds of orgasms that I don’t care, but you might.
  • The attachments are made of TPR (thermoplastic rubber), a porous material. (Why, Eroscillator, why?!) I have had zero issues from this after using mine for years at a time, in terms of any vaginal infections or irritation, etc., but it does mean you can’t safely share this toy with someone you’re not fluid-bonded with, unless you put a condom over it or each have your own separate attachments to use. You may also experience some discoloration of your attachments over time.
  • I once broke an Eroscillator by dropping it a few too many times, and couldn’t figure out how to repair it so I had to buy another one. However, this was after 3-4 years of using it multiple times a week, so I still consider it more durable/long-lasting than a lot of other vibes out there.

Overall: Extremely worth it. I would be lost without this toy. It gets me off more reliably and consistently than any other toy in my collection; I use it 5-6 times a week pretty much every week. If you like clitoral stimulation but find normal vibrators too numbing or overwhelming, or if you just want to try a truly unique clitoral sensation, I think this toy would be a good purchase for you.

Where to buy: SheVibe ($239 USD)

Lelo Sila

Price: $159-169 USD

What makes it worth it: 

  • The “mouth” of this toy is bigger/wider/deeper than your typical pressure-wave stimulator, so it tends to work better for people with medium-to-large clits (including those of folks taking testosterone), as well as anyone who prefers their entire clitoral shaft, hood, etc. be stimulated along with the tip of their clit.
  • The flat “lips” around the toy’s mouth make it much easier to form a seal around your clit for deeper, more intense sensations. This also means that if you, like me, tend to take a lot of breaks while using clitoral stimulators, you likely won’t have to work as hard to re-find your clit and reposition the toy on it every time.
  • The buttons are relatively easy to see, find, and press.
  • I enjoy the toy’s simple, elegant, très millennial aesthetic.
  • It’s waterproof and rechargeable, though those qualities are more-or-less par for the course in this category.

What makes it not-so-worth it:

  • Some people say this toy isn’t strong enough. To me it feels pretty damn strong, especially since it stimulates more of my clit than other toys of its type, but your mileage may vary.
  • The Sila’s shape makes it difficult to pair this toy with intercourse. If you’re looking for a pressure-wave toy to put on your clit during PIV, I’d suggest the Satisfyer Curvy 2+ instead; it’s slimmer and more ergonomic for that purpose.
  • It’s made by Lelo, who are not exactly known as a paragon of ethics.

Overall: Worth it. The Lelo Sila has quickly become my favorite pressure-wave toy, because it stimulates more of my clit, more deeply, than any other toy I’ve tried in this category. The Satisfyer Curvy 2+ feels the closest, and is much cheaper – but if you have the cash, and want full-bodied clit stimulation in a luxurious package, I think the Sila is where it’s at.

Where to buy: SheVibe ($159 USD), Peepshow Toys ($169.99 USD)

Doxy Die Cast

Price: $190-210 USD

What makes it worth it: 

  • It’s INCREDIBLY strong. Like, quite possibly the strongest vibrator I have ever personally used in 9+ years of sex toy reviewing, with the exceptions of jackhammery behemoths like the Sybian or Cowgirl. Folks who need or want a lot of power are frequently delighted by this toy.
  • It’s simply gorgeous. The aluminum body is shiny, sparkly, and a total showstopper at events and parties. Wands are not known for being visually appealing, but this is maybe the prettiest one I’ve seen.
  • The head and neck are covered in body-safe silicone, rather than being made of a shitty porous material that’ll break down and discolor over time like so many other wand heads. It’s easier to clean it and to keep it looking good. As a bonus, silicone also transmits vibration better than squishier materials, so the Die Cast’s stimulation feels more intense than that of the standard Doxy.
  • The “double-weighted” head of this toy makes it feel rumblier than other Doxy wands, although (as noted below) it still doesn’t always feel as rumbly as I’d want it to.

What makes it not-so-worth it:

  • Doxy’s quality assurance is infamously bad, and many of their toys have mechanical issues, such as vibrations skipping around in intensity or seeming to migrate to different areas of the toy unexpectedly. Presumably because of how widespread these problems are, I’ve often heard from buyers that they have a hard time getting in touch with the company for a replacement, and oftentimes even if they can, the replacement ends up having mechanical issues too.
  • The Die Cast, more than any other wand vibe I’ve tried, is HEAVY. This is the main reason I don’t use mine as often as I otherwise might.
  • Even this vibe’s lowest setting is VERY strong, so I wouldn’t recommend it for people who consider themselves sensitive or have tended to stay on the low end of other vibrators’ intensity ranges.
  • The vibrations get buzzier as they move up in intensity, and while the lower settings are slightly rumblier, overall this vibe isn’t as rumbly as I would hope or expect from a toy of this size, weight, and price. (However, I’m a “give me rumbly vibes or give me death” person and can still get off with this one, no problem.)
  • As with most other vibrators of this type, this one makes a lot of noise, especially on the higher settings. There’s a reason I called it “the belt sander of sex toys” in my review.
  • It has to be plugged in to be used. This doesn’t bother me at all but I know it’s less than ideal for some people.
  • Some people don’t like that the aluminum body of the vibe is naturally cold to the touch when you first pick it up.

Overall: Probably not worth it for most people. While the Die Cast is indubitably POWERFUL and gorgeous as hell, I think it has too many major flaws to earn its hefty price tag – especially when you can get the more reliable Magic Wand Rechargeable for a good bit less money, or the Magic Wand Plus for less than half the price of the Die Cast.

Where to buy: SheVibe ($189.99 USD), Peepshow Toys ($189.99 USD), Come As You Are ($265 CAD/about $211 USD)

New York Toy Collective Carter

Price: $165-175 USD

What makes it worth it: 

  • With its 7.5″ insertable length and 2″ diameter, this is a big-but-still-manageable dildo that’ll suit plenty of different types of people, and can be used anally, vaginally, and/or orally.
  • It’s a good size and shape for G-spot, prostate, or A-spot stimulation, though (as discussed later) it has trouble holding an angle so I wouldn’t recommend it for people who prefer intensely curved toys. I really like the combo of fullness and A-spot stim that my Carter provides.
  • It’s a “pack ‘n’ play” toy, meaning that it’s bendable so it can be worn in a harness under clothing if need be. It’s pretty big, though, so it might not be the subtlest thing. That bendability also means you can change the toy’s angle before/during use, if you’re so inclined.
  • It’s made of dual-density silicone, so it has a lovely, comfortable squishiness to it.
  • It comes in many different gorgeous colorways. Normally I don’t care too much about that but they really are quite pretty. It also comes in a few flesh tones.
  • New York Toy Collective is a queer- and trans-owned independent company well worth supporting.

What makes it not-so-worth it:

  • While you can bend this toy into various shapes and angles, it tends to straighten out over time during use. It’s also squishy enough that it feels generally stimulating rather than specifically focused on particular spots. If you’re looking for a realistic silicone toy of similar dimensions that can hit your G-spot or prostate with more vigor, I’d suggest the VixSkin Maverick.
  • As I mentioned above, the size of this toy makes it slightly impractical for “packing”/wearing under clothes, depending on what exactly you’re wearing. The smaller NYTC Shilo is better in this regard, though I don’t find that it feels as good.
  • The silicone is a little more draggy than that of some other realistic dildos I’ve tried, so thrusting it seems to require more hand/arm strength even when adequate lube is used.

Overall: Potentially worth it for some people, but less so for others. While I think this is a wonderful dildo that feels great and looks even better, it’s significantly more expensive than plenty of toys in its category. The VixSkin Maverick is cheaper and feels comparable but not identical (more squish/less internal pressure, more glide/less drag, a more pronounced head), but if you want a beautiful pack-‘n’-play with a pleasurably firm core, the Carter will deliver.

Where to buy: SheVibe ($164.99 USD), Come As You Are ($220 CAD/about $175 USD)

What’s the most expensive toy in your collection, if you have one? Do you think it was worth the money?

Review: Womanizer Premium

Kate Sloan

If toys like the Womanizer are meant to replicate cunnilingus – which is a subject of some debate in the industry – then I don’t think the technology is quite there yet. However, the luxe Womanizer Premium is one of the better options in its category, due to a number of innovations it introduces, even if it doesn’t quite scratch the right itch when I’m craving oral sex.

The folks at Lovehoney let me pick a toy to review for them, and I asked for the Womanizer Premium because I’ve had my eye on it ever since it launched. Available in a sophisticated navy blue (which I chose) amongst other shades, and boasting a sleek, ergonomic shape, this is certainly one of the most aesthetically pleasing Womanizers out there. (That may not be saying much, considering that the first Womanizer was leopard-print and rhinestoned, but still.) At $200, it’s one of the priciest pressure-wave toys I’ve ever seen – and aesthetically, I can see how it’s worthy of that price point. But what about how it actually feels?

Admittedly, a different toy – the Lelo Sila – instantly became my favorite pressure-wave toy when I first tried it, and it has remained so, for one key reason: its nozzle (or “mouth,” if you prefer) is big enough to stimulate my entire clitoral shaft, instead of just the hyper-sensitive tip of my clit. I have yet to find ANY other toy that does this, and I must have tried dozens at this point. (The closest I’ve found so far is the Satisfyer Curvy 2, which I would recommend if you want clit shaft stimulation but can’t afford Lelo’s pricey wares.) I don’t even have a particularly big clit, but most pressure-wave toys’ nozzles (including that of the Womanizer Premium) feel too small for my purposes, because I don’t want a ton of stimulation focused on the head of my clit. I know I’m not alone in this, because readers of mine have expressed similar sentiments. Why are more companies not meeting this need?

The Womanizer Premium even comes with two different nozzles, so you can theoretically swap between them for different sensations – but for me, they feel pretty much identical, and neither of them does the thing I actually want this type of toy to be able to do. The pressure waves in this one are on the rumblier side, so they do stimulate my internal clit to some extent, even if indirectly – but I still miss the way the Sila basically deepthroats my clit, rumbling its whole external length through my clitoral hood and inner labia.

But that’s a matter of personal taste. People who like direct, pinpoint clit stimulation would likely enjoy this toy, because it’s well-made and highly intuitive. It has 12 different intensity levels; I usually stay within the first 3-4 because they are plenty powerful enough for me. It also has a much-talked-about “autopilot mode” which allows you to lie back and let the toy decide when to change the intensity. As my friend Rae noted in their review, this mode feels much more like having actual partnered sex than a lot of other sex toys do. Unlike standard vibration patterns, the Womanizer’s autopilot mode takes its sweet time, transitioning smoothly between intensities like a partner who is paying attention to the hills and valleys of your sexual response. That said, the Womanizer isn’t actually paying attention to your body in that way, so sometimes this mode gets out of step with where I actually am in my arousal process. When that happens, though, I can just hit one button and I’ll be back in the standard choose-your-own-speed mode.

The buttons are one of the best things about this toy, actually. Specifically, the “+” button. Although the controls are positioned on the back of the toy where they can be hard to see during use, the “+” and “–” buttons are raised, and are noticeably different sizes from one another, so I can always turn the toy’s intensity up in a hurry when I need to, even in the dark. I love this feature!

I like that this Womanizer is shaped well for hands-free usage. In fact, as I write this, it is currently sandwiched between my thighs, and is maintaining a good seal around my clit without requiring much thigh pressure. I like to use it this way while I’m watching porn or reading erotica, especially in the bath (it’s waterproof), where being underwater seems to intensify the suction created by the air waves.

The “Smart Silence” feature first used in We-Vibe toys has been employed here too. It causes the toy to temporarily turn off whenever you lift it away from your body, resuming its stimulation once you press it to your clit again. I thought this feature would be annoying and finicky as it is in some We-Vibe toys, but they seem to have fixed it in the Womanizer Premium; it doesn’t tend to turn off when I want it to be on, though it occasionally does turn on when I want it to be off (such as when its nozzle brushes against the bedsheets when I set it aside for a moment to adjust my pillows or pick a different porn clip). You can also turn off this feature if you prefer. I’ve left it on, because I like that it saves battery power and also renders the toy nearly silent, since – as with most pressure-wave toys, and indeed most people – this one makes noise when there’s nothing in its “mouth” but quiets down significantly once it’s put to use.

The Womanizer Premium is shaped in such a way that it’d work great during PIV/intercourse. It’s flat-ish and ergonomic, and thus fits between bodies comfortably. However, the tip of the toy does extend a little over an inch past the end of the nozzle, which – depending on the distance between your clit and your vaginal opening – might be enough to make penetration difficult. I would likely reach for a more petite toy if I wanted pressure waves on my clit during PIV.

The Premium charges magnetically, is fully waterproof, and comes with a 5-year warranty. It’s perhaps the fanciest, nicest pressure-wave toy I’ve ever tried – but the size of its nozzle makes it not-quite-perfect for my body, because it does the clitoral equivalent of flicking a tongue against the head of a penis while forgetting that the shaft and balls exist. But hey, if you’re into that, you’d probably dig this gorgeous (albeit expensive) pleasure object.

 

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the Womanizer Premium to review!

Review: Sohimi Alice Hands-Free Masturbator

Kate Sloan

I’ve been pleasantly surprised by some of the inexpensive-but-great toys Sohimi has sent me to review before, like their efficient dual-stimulation clitoral sucking vibrator and their inventive tongue-like toy. Some of my readers have even reached out to say that they bought a Sohimi toy on my recommendation and enjoyed it too, which is great!

When the company reached out to me this time, they wanted me to review a product from their “sex toys for men” section. Unnecessarily gendered language aside (please, companies, if it’s a toy for penises, you can just say that! Trans and non-binary people exist!!), there are a number of toys in that category that look just as innovative and interesting as the vulva-focused toys Sohimi has sent me before, so I was curious to see what my partner Matt would choose to review.

They eventually settled on the Alice hands-free masturbator, a mechanized stroker that both rotates around your dick and strokes it up and down. I asked Matt to take notes during their initial testing session with the Alice and they described it as feeling “like a car wash for your cock.” But in a good way. Mostly.

In lieu of having adjustable speeds and separate controls for each function, the Alice just has a series of pre-set patterns you can flip through. Some of these are nice, while some are too overwhelming and/or erratic to feel all that pleasurable – unless you’re into overloading a partner with sensation for kinky reasons. Actually, sadistic fantasies are one of the first places Matt’s mind went when trying out this toy; we’ve watched a fair amount of porn involving dommes “milking” their subs for cum, in a way that combines D/s, bondage, orgasm control, edging, medical play, humiliation/objectification, and various other delightful fantasies, and the Sohimi Alice is pretty ideal for scenes of that nature. The unpredictability of its array of patterns can make it feel more like someone else is controlling the toy – and your dick – even when you’re operating it yourself.

The internal texture of the sleeve is intense, particularly when combined with the spinning/stroking combo served up by the toy’s motor. My partner’s dick sensitivity is average (I’m a slut, I would know), and they noted that people with more sensitive cocks might find this toy overstimulating. But, again, that could be cool for scenes involving consensual overstimulation and maybe even forced orgasms.

Indeed, Matt says they can get off from using this toy easily, because of how hyper-stimulating it is. It works best if you hold it still, rather than thrusting into it, which can strain the motors and slow them down – but that need to remain still, too, plays into potential fantasies of being controlled and toyed with.

Like most strokers, the Sohimi Alice has its problems. It’s quite loud. It’s a bit big and bulky, so if you have strength/grip issues, you may want to find a way to brace it against something (like a pillow or a wall) to hold it up at least some of the time while you’re using it – although it does also have a suction cup mount, so if need be, you can affix it to a wall or a floor and thrust into it hands-free. The sleeve is made of TPE, which is porous, so you shouldn’t share it with people you’re not fluid-bonded with, and should expect to need to replace it within a few years. Cleaning it is annoying, mostly because you have to dissemble the device before washing it to avoid getting the mechanics wet, and because the time at which you have to do it is the time when you’d most often like to lie in bed enjoying the afterglow instead.

However, overall we’ve really enjoyed using the Sohimi Alice together. It provides unique sensations not often found in other strokers, and is surprisingly well-suited to numerous different pervy fantasies. Who knew a “car wash for your cock” could feel this good?

 

Thanks to Sohimi for supplying us with this toy! Check out their “male” sex toys online. This post was sponsored, which means I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own (and my partner’s).

Review: Loveorl 2-in-1 High-Frequency Clitoral Sucking Vibrator

Kate Sloan

 

Loveorl sent me their 2-in-1 High-Frequency Clitoral Sucking Vibrator to review, and I thought, hey! It’s a double-ended toy where I might actually enjoy both ends!

Usually in this type of toy, one of the functions is good, while the other is just so-so – or sometimes they’re both bad. I had higher hopes for this one, because its two ends seem to be modelled after two types of toy I already know I enjoy: a Zumio-esque “high-frequency” hard-plastic vibrator designed for pinpoint clitoral stimulation, and a pressure-wave toy like a Satisfyer or Womanizer, meant to pulse around the clitoris, creating a suction-y sensation and triggering ethereally indirect orgasms. Neat!

This toy is rechargeable, and has a satiny silicone coating on most of its body. This makes it feel surprisingly luxe for its $22 price point. There’s one button for each of the two functions, and you cycle through each function’s various speeds and settings using its respective button. You can enable both functions at once, but I’m not sure why you would; this toy isn’t shaped well to allow for two clit-possessing people to use it simultaneously.

The Zumio-ish vibration portion disappointed me, for the most part. It claims to use the same “spiral oscillating waves” that you’d find in the Zumio (of which it is an obvious copycat, which, as you may know, I’m not a fan of on principle), but to me it just feels like too-buzzy, too-strong vibration. It overloads and desensitizes my clit in short order the way an overly buzzy vibe does, which the Zumio doesn’t do, at least not as quickly. It’s also very loud, and the entire toy vibrates when this setting is enabled, making my hand feel numb and itchy within seconds of turning the vibrations on.

 

The toy comes with two little silicone attachments for the vibrating end, which is cool. One of them is spherical and one looks like flower petals that can flap and flutter against your clit and labia. Interestingly, the toy is much quieter when there’s an attachment on it. I liked it best with the flower petal attachment because I could hold it on the top of my clit, with my clitoral shaft placed between the two petals, allowing for much more spread-out and indirect stimulation than the vibrator allows for sans attachment. I probably could get off using the toy this way, but eking out an orgasm with super buzzy, surface-level vibrations is not my favorite thing, and tends to take me forever.

The suction side of the toy is better. It, too, feels “buzzier” than many of its competitors in the pressure-wave space, like the thrillingly thrummy Lelo Sila. But design-wise, this is in the top half of pressure-wave toys I’ve tried: its silicone “mouth” is comfortably shaped and wide enough for me to fit more than just the hypersensitive tip of my clit into it, so I can get some of the clitoral shaft/clitoral hood stimulation I tend to crave when using this kind of toy. There are only three steady speeds and I found myself wishing, in the moments before orgasm, for just one more setting at the top end, probably because of the aforementioned buzziness having lessened my sensitivity a bit. But I can achieve orgasm readily with this thing, and it feels just as involuntary, spasmodic, and surprising as it does with other pressure-wave toys.

I have to say, for its price tag, I think the Loveorl 2-in-1 High-Frequency Clitoral Sucking Vibrator is a great value. If you only have $22 to spend on a clitoral toy and you want to try a broad range of sensations, this toy’s dual functions and two included attachments will give you a lot of bang for your buck. I wish it was quieter and rumblier, but frankly it’s pretty astonishing that Loveorl managed to make a rechargeable, body-safe, two-function sex toy for under $25, so maybe I’m asking for too much.

Get this toy if you want to experiment with pinpoint vibrations and/or pressure-wave stimulation without breaking the bank, and you don’t mind a moderate-to-loud noise level. You can always upgrade to higher-quality options later, but for an entry-level clit stim toy, you could do a lot worse than this petite pink creation.

 

This post was sponsored, which means I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.