Review: Upko Invisible Mouth Gag

Many people enjoy the power imbalance and sense of vulnerability that can be created when one partner wears a gag during a kink scene, whether it be a ballgag, a bit gag, or some other type. But a common issue with gags is that – of course – your mouth isn’t really useable or fuckable while there’s a big piece of silicone shoved into it.

Various makers of BDSM gear have attempted to address this with inventive open-mouth gag designs, and some kinksters even repurpose Jennings gags, which help dentists keep patients’ mouths wide open during oral surgeries. But a brand called Upko took an approach to this problem that I’ve never seen before, by selling an “invisible” gag that simultaneously prevents you from talking and keeps your mouth agape and useable. Let’s talk about it.

Image via Upko

What is this gag and how does it work?

The Upko Invisible Mouth Gag comes in two main pieces, which attach at the back of the head via a strap.

Each piece features a rounded-off silicone wedge that you’re meant to bite down on, so that the gag mostly stays in place due to the pressure of your teeth. As a result, the middle of your mouth is left wide open.

 

You’re welcome for these extremely attractive photos 😇

A note on drool

In my experience, all gags promote drooling. I think this is due to the combination of having a foreign object in your mouth and no longer having the ability to swallow your spit as much or as easily.

A lot of people get nervous about wearing gags because they’re embarrassed at the thought of drooling profusely. However, if your partner is into the idea of you wearing a gag, odds are good that they’re also into the idea of you drooling. A lot of the kinky pleasure of using gags is about the vulnerability they create in the wearer, which can (optionally) tie into kinks like humiliation and objectification. For many doms, it’s super hot to see their sub drooling uncontrollably with a gag in. If you’re not sure how your partner feels about drooling during sex/kink, ask them – you might be surprised at what they say!

For similar reasons, you probably don’t need to worry about looking weird/ugly while wearing a gag. Like, yes, it’s not the most flattering look by conventional beauty standards, but plenty of kinksters aren’t that interested in conventional beauty standards anyway, as evidenced by how many doms adore the appearance of smeared lipstick, ruined mascara, ripped tights, etc. during scenes. You’ll enjoy yourself more while wearing a gag if you can accept that looking pretty is not the point – or that maybe looking vulnerable and subby is looking pretty, in the eyes of your dom.

 

Things I like about this gag

  • While we’re talking about drool: I drool a lot with this gag in. I think the open-mouth design makes it much easier for drool to spill out, which my partner finds hot.
  • The gag is relatively comfortable during use, which I wasn’t expecting. I find it less invasive and unsettling to bite down on a gag with my teeth than to have it shoved far back on my tongue, which tends to make me gag in the not-fun way. It doesn’t hurt my teeth, either, because the silicone you’re biting into is very squishy.
  • With this gag in, my mouth is indeed open wide enough that I can get face-fucked or give oral sex, especially if I bite down on the gag with my very back teeth. I wasn’t able to continue a blowjob “to completion” with the gag in, though, because it eventually got uncomfortable and made me feel like I was gonna puke (which, to be fair, would probably happen with any gag), so I just took it out to finish the job.
  • I really like the idea of this gag, having never really seen a design quite like it. Since the effectiveness and comfort of a gag really depend on your specific mouth and what it can handle, it’s good that there are plenty of different gag styles out there for different people to experiment with. If ballgags and bit gags have been untenably uncomfortable for you, it’s possible that this style of gag would work better.
  • The back strap is adjustable, with 8 different tightnesses to choose from, so this gag should fit a broad range of head sizes and tightness preferences.
  • I like that the part that goes in your mouth is made of silicone. Rubber gags, which are still sadly pretty common, are porous, meaning that they hold onto any bacteria that gets into their pores and can never be fully cleaned. Obviously, this really isn’t ideal for something that goes into your mouth, especially since the bacteria build-up can also lead to weird tastes and smells. All of that is avoided when the gag is made of silicone, as this one is, because silicone is non-porous and you can wash it and/or sanitize it in the same ways you’d clean any other silicone sex toy (just make sure to separate the silicone parts from the leather parts first).
  • The aesthetic is classic and cute. Red, black, and gold is a color combo that reminds me (regrettably) of Christian Grey, but I have to admit it looks good and would match a lot of people’s bedroom decor and plenty of other bondage equipment.
  • This gag is small and slim compared to a traditional ballgag, so it might be better for tossing into a suitcase or purse for on-the-go kink play (and might not be as immediately recognizable as a gag to nosy relatives or TSA agents).
  • My only other association with biting down on a squishy-but-firm object that keeps my mouth open is being at the dentist, so I can see how this gag would work excellently for dentistry-related roleplays. (Horny dentist taking advantage of their innocent patient, anyone?)
  • It’s really, really easy for the person wearing the gag to just spit it out or let it fall out if they want to. This can be a good thing if you’re a beginner and/or nervous about using a gag, because you can un-gag yourself quickly and without assistance if you need to.

 

Things I don’t like about this gag

  • As mentioned above, it’s very easy for the wearer to spit the gag out or let it fall out at any time, which you might not appreciate if you’re into gagging that feels forced or inescapable. The gag also fell out accidentally a few times while I was testing it, which was annoying, as we had to pause the scene to put it back in, and would’ve had to go rinse it off if it had fallen on the floor.
  • For some unfathomable reason, the parts of the gag that you actually bite down on can be separated from the long pieces of silicone attaching them to the straps. This strikes me as a choking hazard, since – if you bit down hard enough and tugged on the gag straps at just the right angle – the parts could separate and then you’d have a big piece of silicone just… loose in your mouth. For that reason, this gag doesn’t feel super safe to me and I would be hesitant to use it during any kind of rough play.
  • When I gave my partner oral sex while this gag was in, they reported that it didn’t feel as good as usual because I couldn’t apply as much suction and my teeth were more in the way than they might normally be. The visual of my drooly gagged mouth made up for these deficits for them, though – and also, their dick is pretty girthy, so I think small-to-average penises would have an easier time fitting into the mouth of someone wearing this gag.
  • The instructions that come with the gag are minimal and poorly written. Since its design is unusual, I think clearer instruction is warranted. There’s also no safety info in the instructions, other than a warning that you should agree on a safe-signal (a non-verbal safeword) before you start. That’s good advice, but given that gags are risky to use and this one is especially so, it’s worrisome that there are no other safety warnings/tips in the instructions.
  • While Upko assures me that the straps are made of real Italian leather – and actually produced importation documents to prove it – the leather doesn’t feel as buttery-soft and high-quality as some of my nicer leather kink gear (for example, anything made by Aslan Leather). But it’s still nice that it’s actual leather.
  • I don’t think this product should cost $79.99, which is its current retail price on the Upko website. For comparison, a couple of other silicone gags I enjoy – the Zalo red rose one and the Unbound Bit – go for $65 and $39, respectively, and are better-constructed than this one. Personally I wouldn’t pay more than $40 for a gag like this.

 

Final thoughts

While the Upko Invisible Mouth Gag is beautiful and is certainly different from any other gag in my collection, I think it’s way too expensive and kind of a safety hazard. I’d only recommend it if you love its design and/or think it would be comfier for you than traditional gag styles. Or if you want to do a dentistry roleplay, in which case, open wide and say “aaah!”

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

5 Pandemic-Friendly Kinks to Play With While Quarantining

I don’t know about you, but watching a dramatic worldwide crescendo of racism and transphobia play out against the backdrop of a global pandemic doesn’t exactly make me horny. I’m sure that’s quadruply true for the people of color and trans people directly affected by the tidal wave of bullshit enveloping the world right now.

And yet… particularly for those of us who are highly sexual people and/or sex nerds, pursuing pleasure through sex can be one of our major methods of escapism, right alongside Netflix marathons and Animal Crossing sessions. I’ve been lucky enough to have my partner quarantined with me for the past 3 months, but they can’t and won’t stay forever, so I’m mentally preparing myself for the need to take my sexuality into my own hands once again. In stressful times such as these, getting creative can be an important component of that.

The good news is that even solo sexual creativity is easier than ever in the internet age. Online, we can theoretically order sex toys and sex furniture to satisfy our every kinky whim – and we can also learn about proclivities we may never have otherwise heard about, and start incorporating them into our fantasy lives. Here are some suggestions that work surprisingly well in a COVID-wracked world…

Mask Up

As a recent NYC Health brief on safer sex in the time of coronavirus helpfully noted, wearing a face covering or mask during sex is one way to practice harm reduction when hooking up these days. However, even if you’re rollin’ solo, a mask could be an interesting addition to your kinky imaginings. As you’ve probably already noticed while walking around with a mask on, these useful pieces of fabric make it slightly difficult to breathe… kinda like a lover’s hand clamped over your mouth and nose in a breath-play scene. This effect could make a mask a hot addition to your next masturbation session – just be safe, okay? Take the mask off if you start to experience any genuine discomfort or difficulty breathing. And wash that thing before you wear it out into the world again, incase you got any, uh, droplets on it.

Undercover Ballgag

Speaking of masks, it occurs to me that these days you could potentially wear a ballgag outdoors completely unnoticed under your mask, particularly with the creative usage of a hat or somesuch to cover any telltale straps. Only do this if you know you won’t need to interact with anyone at any point – maybe on a meandering walk on side-streets while listening to a kinky podcast. I’d suggest the type of ballgag that has holes in it for easier breathing, since – as we’ve discussed – masks already make that difficult. Don’t overdo this one, because you don’t want to injure your jaw, but if you’re craving some public humiliation/submission, this could be a cool way to make that happen without necessarily involving any non-consenting third parties.

Creepin’ and Cammin’

We’ve already talked about exhibitionism vis-à-vis quarantine, but my friend Bex had such a great idea about this on a recent episode of our podcast that I wanted to share it here too. With the proliferation of Zoom calls and FaceTime chats these days, it’s easy to imagine a roleplay scenario with a partner in which you “accidentally” forget to disconnect at the end of a call, and the person on the other end is able to creepily watch while you get undressed, or jerk off, or fellate a sex toy, or… whatever else you like to do to decompress after a draining video call. This is a cool way to play with the idea of a “peeping tom” without either of you having to leave your homes.

Hygiene Humiliation

In just the few months since COVID popped off, I’ve noticed it’s shifted the way I view media. I’ll be watching a party scene from a 1960s sex comedy, or a friend-hang at a crowded bar in a ’90s sitcom, and I’ll feel myself momentarily overcome with medical anxiety – “Aaahh, get away from each other, you’re not standing 6 feet apart, you fools!!” It occurs to me, though, that this same impulse could be harnessed for all sorts of humiliation-based fantasies. Maybe your domme orders you to give yourself a harsh spanking for only washing your hands for one Happy Birthday, not two… or you have to scour every doorknob and cabinet handle with Lysol and an old toothbrush… or you get your mouth rinsed out with soap for breaking one too many public health guidelines. (Listen to the recent episode of the Off the Cuffs podcast entitled “Rub A Dub Dub” for tips on mouth-soaping!) Whatever you do, make sure all your “violations” occur only in your own home, or even just within your fantasies – humiliation is hot but it’s not worth spreading disease for, obvi.

Ghostly ‘Gasms

Have you ever heard of spectrophilia? It’s a fetishistic interest in spirits or ghosts (or the idea of them, anyway). Some folks in this community claim to have actually hooked up with a ghost, or perhaps several; I’ll let the Mythbusters handle that one, but even if you don’t believe in the paranormal, it could be fun to do a spectrophilic scene with your socially-distanced sweetie. If you put them on speakerphone and position your phone such that your lover’s voice seems to be emanating from the walls or from the depths of your closet, you can create the illusion that there’s a pervy, voyeuristic ghost creeping on you while you masturbate. Fear play isn’t everyone’s jam, but it could be a nice make-believe counteragent to the very real fears pervading the globe right now!

 

What COVID-appropriate kinks have you been playing with lately, if any? (“None” is a completely valid answer… Reading the news these days isn’t exactly an aphrodisiac, to say the least.)

 

This post was sponsored. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.