Sex Toy Reviews

If You’ve Been Wanting a Fun Factory Toy, Now’s the Time…!

Kate Sloan
Image via Fun Factory

Friends, I don’t mean to alarm you any more than you’re (no doubt) already alarmed right now, but something is amiss with Fun Factory.

Yes, that’s right – this beloved German sex toy company, which has been cranking out whimsically colorful vibrators (among other things) since 1996, might be in jeopardy.

The brand was recently acquired by Satisfyer, another sex toy company. Ever since the acquisition (and for some time before it too, I think), it’s been more difficult to purchase Fun Factory toys, especially in the U.S.: the company’s U.S. shop has been “under reconstruction” for months.

Satisfyer shut down the Fun Factory affiliate program in September, and I’m concerned that they may shut down Fun Factory altogether – or may at least move production away from their German factory, which would result in a lessening of quality. For that reason, I’m recommending that you go ahead and buy any Fun Factory toys you’ve been wanting, because I’m not sure how much longer they’ll be available. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news!

I’ve scoured some of my favorite sex toy retailer affiliates to find the best Fun Factory toys they still have in stock, and gathered them up for you below. I would recommend buying from a reputable retailer like the ones I’m linking to here, rather than from Amazon, because Amazon is known for sending out fakes/knockoffs.

Hope this helps! (And I really, really hope I’m wrong about Satisfyer’s plans for Fun Factory…)

 

Insertable vibrators

Image via Fun Factory

Big Boss G-spot vibrator

Available at:

The Big Boss is Fun Factory’s largest insertable vibrator, and will be adored by size queens/kings/monarchs. But most importantly, it’s got Fun Factory’s signature rumbly-as-fuck motor, with a wide variety of intensities to choose from. And because it has a looped handle, it’s pretty ergonomic to thrust with, whether you’re using it on yourself or a partner. (It’s not anal-safe, however – no flared base!)

Image via Fun Factory

Miss Bi rabbit vibrator

Available at:

The Miss Bi has the same lovely rumbliness as the Big Boss, except it’s a dual-stimulation toy, so your clit can get in on the action too. This rabbit’s bendy clit stimulator allows it to fit a broad range of anatomies, and the arm flexes and moves with you as you thrust the toy. You can even use this toy anally, with the clit arm on your perineum, if you prefer. As ever, I love Fun Factory’s perfectly clicky, responsive buttons, which light up in the dark so they’re easy to find.

 

Penis toys

Image via Fun Factory

Manta penis vibrator

Available at:

The Manta is one of Fun Factory’s most ingenious designs. It consists of flexible silicone “wings” which wrap around the shaft of a penis. You can stroke this toy up and down (when it’s well-lubed), or just hold it on the spot that feels the best; it can also be seamlessly incorporated into a blowjob or handjob any time you want to add some vibration into the mix. I use mine on my partner fairly frequently and love how easy it is to use, even on days when my hands are sore. Oh, and I love how hard it makes them come, too 😉

Cobra Libre II vibrating stroker

Available at:

If you think you’d fancy some rumbly vibration focused on the head of your dick, the Cobra Libre could be just what you need! It also kind of looks like a race car, which is a bonus.

 

We’ll miss you, Fun Factory… Thanks for all that you did for the sex toy industry! 💙

Review: Twisted Beast Marchosias dildo

Kate Sloan

I’ve reviewed a lot of dildos that are meant to look like human cocks, and a lot of dildos that aren’t meant to look like cocks at all – but it’s far less common that I review a dildo which is supposed to look like a cock, just not a human one.

The Twisted Beast Marchosias, which I’m reviewing today, is one such dildo. It’s meant to be canine-esque, with a pointed tip and contoured, “knotted” shape.

As I’ve mentioned here before, bestiality fantasies (even those involving humanoid/anthropomorphized animals) just don’t do it for me, so I usually find these dildos interesting moreso from a psychological and sociological standpoint than from an erotic one. I think they speak to (among other things) the way humans sometimes cloak our sexual desires in order to sidestep sexual shame. You might not feel fully able to have rambunctious, uninhibited sex in all the ways you want to, but a wild animal in heat certainly can – so whether you picture yourself being fucked by an unbridled creature, or being that creature, its archetypally primal nature can alleviate some shame and self-judgment.

As I pondered this while getting myself turned on for an initial testing session with the Marchosias, I realized I didn’t have to disqualify myself from having this type of fantasy just because I’m not into dog dick. Instead, I pictured what it would be like if a human was fucking me, when, unexpectedly to both of us, their cock started to swell at the base, “knotting” inside me and keeping our bodies locked together until the deed was done. I imagine we’d both feel surprised and confused about these events, but at the same time, it’d be a massive turn-on – not only psychologically but physically, since the knot would make the dick feel bigger inside me and would create some compression around the base of the penis, trapping blood inside like a natural cock ring, which would make it all the more sensitive and swollen.

…Okay, I’ll stop with the word-porn now; this is a sex toy review, not werewolf erotica. (Nothin’ wrong with werewolf erotica, it’s just not my bread and butter, honey!) I did want to highlight for you, though, that you don’t have to be a furry, or anything of the sort, to enjoy animalistic dildos like the Marchosias (although I’m sure plenty of furries do enjoy it!). You can always get creative with your fantasies, and a toy like this can make them seem all the more real.

Pictured with a Magic Wand Rechargeable for scale

Customization options, hooray!

The Marchosias is available in four different sizes:

  • Small ($89.95): 7″ insertable length, 2.13″ widest diameter
  • Medium ($169.95): 9″ insertable length, 2.55″ widest diameter
  • Large ($260.95): 11″ insertable length, 3.34″ widest diameter
  • XL ($368.95): 14″ insertable length, 4.14″ widest diameter

I chose the small, because – as is often the case for fantasy dildos like those made by Twisted Beast – it’s not really very small at all! Its dimensions are similar to realistic dildos of porn-star dimensions, except of course that it’s shaped quite differently.

I went with the ombré colorway, because it’s far more unique-looking than the other option, a solid red. The black-to-red fade looks super sleek and cool; I love the way the colors subtly swirl together along the shaft.

Twisted Beast doesn’t offer customization of dildo hardness vs. softness. This one is their standard silicone, which is on the soft-and-squishy side of the spectrum. The company describes it as being comparable to Bad Dragon’s “soft” shore.

Things I like about the Marchosias dildo

  • This is definitely the most comfortable dog-dick dildo I’ve ever tested. (Lord, what a sentence. What would my journalism school professors think of me now?!) Usually the girthy knot will push my vagina’s limits, but this dildo’s knot is much closer in diameter to the rest of the dildo, and is softly rounded off, rather than bulging out at extreme angles. This, combined with the softness of the silicone, makes this toy relatively comfy even when I’m pounding myself with it pretty hard, as long as it’s well-lubed. I don’t feel sore afterward at all, either (which admittedly could be a drawback for people who like that post-penetration ache!).
  • The softness of the silicone also lends a deliciously satisfying quality to my orgasms, like my vag is squeezing a stress ball with each contraction. As I’ve noted before, I think I come harder with toys made of firmer materials, because of the unrelenting pressure they apply to internal erogenous zones – but orgasms with something squishier inside me can be more pleasant, paradoxically, since they don’t knock the wind out of me quite so much.
  • On an aesthetic level, I don’t care whether a dildo has balls or not – but practically speaking, I like that they function as a ‘handle’ for this toy, so I can thrust it by hand without issue even when my pain is flaring up. The balls also make this toy anal-safe and strap-on compatible, so if you’ve ever wanted to fuck your lover up the butt with a dog dick, go nuts.
  • On that note, I never lose track of how the dildo is oriented inside me (as with many other toys) because of the balls and the pentagram (!!) engraved at the base of the toy, which act as visual markers.

Things I don’t like about the Marchosias dildo

  • The pointed tip can be a little uncomfortable when I shove the dildo fully inside me (which long-time readers already know I love to do, haha). It pokes my cervix sometimes, and lacks the firmness and protrusion it would need to consistently be able to slide up into my A-spot, a.k.a. anterior fornix.
  • Like many silicone toys, this one attracts hair/lint/dust like mad (as you can see in these photos!!), so I usually need to wash it off before each use, even if it’s just been stashed in a drawer or on my nightstand in the interim. Mildly annoying but not a huge deal.
Linty balls, anyone?

Final thoughts

“Different strokes for different folks” should be a guiding principle of the sex toy industry – or “different goals for different holes,” if you prefer – and this is illustrated brilliantly by fantasy dildos, such as those made by Twisted Beast. Not only do they offer a variety of physical sensations that a human cock could never (or seldom) replicate; they also invite you to broaden your sexual imagination. Why not fantasize about a sexy werewolf, a charming centaur, or a clueless human who just got dropped into the omegaverse?! Life is short, baby! Expand your mind!

I always try to dip my toes into these fantasies when I’m reviewing a dildo like this, but it’s rare that I’m actually able to enjoy them as much as I did with this one. I think it’s because the Marchosias is so damn comfortable, due to its squishy silicone and its softly contoured design – it allows me to flip back and forth easily between wild fantasies and tamer ones, since the toy feels plausibly like a canine dick or a bulbous human one, like some kind of cocktical illusion.

If this blog were a shitty mainstream magazine, maybe I’d end this review by saying something like, “They say a dog is man’s best friend, and I think this dildo is a woman’s!!” The truth is, though, we’ve all got orifices – and we’ve all got the capacity to fantasize about stuff that’s off the beaten path. If a doggy dildo like the Marchosias has piqued your interest, I’d say you should give it a shot, and don’t let the stigma give you paws. Uh, I mean, pause. 😉

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of the product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: FusyFun Wave

Kate Sloan
Image via FusyFun

What is the FusyFun Wave?

I’ve never seen anything quite like this product before… It’s essentially 4 toys in 1: a vibrating butt plug, perineum stimulator, and cock ring, plus a thin bendable ‘arm’ that lies along the top side of the penis shaft during penetrative sex, stimulating the receptive partner’s G-spot or prostate.

In that sense, it’s similar to something like a We-Vibe – except that it’s the penis-owner who wears this one, not the vulva-owner. And because that’s the case, it’s not just meant for vaginal sex – you can use it during anal sex too, which is trickier/less advisable to do with something that lacks a flared base like a We-Vibe.

The overall effect of the FusyFun Wave, then – at least theoretically – is that the ‘top’ will get their prostate stimulated by the vibrating butt plug as they thrust, their boner will be extra-hard because of the constriction provided by the cock ring, and their partner’s G-spot or prostate will be massaged by the vibrator on each thrust. Intrigued? Me fuckin’ too! Read on for my thoughts…

Image via FusyFun

Things I like about the FusyFun Wave

  • This toy’s concept is genuinely quite inventive, and each of its elements works well together. I’m rarely in favor of multi-tasking toys, since I think it’s almost always better to just do one thing and do it right – but the combo of cock ring, butt plug, and perineum stimulator is a great one, and makes penetrative sex even more pleasurable for penis-owners who like prostate/perineal stim.
  • This toy has two motors, each separately controllable. One powers the butt plug and the other powers everything else, although there is a bit of vibration transfer between the two. I love when a multi-motor toy lets you control each one on its own like this, so that you can (for example) still enjoy the anal vibrations while the rest of the toy is shut off, or vice-versa.
  • You can control the Wave in two different ways: either via the button directly on the toy itself, or using the little remote it comes with. The remote is super convenient and means you can change the settings without having to reach all the way down there every time, which would be especially annoying during partnered sex!
  • The motor in the butt plug portion of the toy is surprisingly strong and rumbly! So much so, in fact, that for my partner, it didn’t even matter that the plug isn’t curved – it stimulated her prostate beautifully anyhow, boosting arousal and intensifying orgasms.
  • The cock ring is stretchy enough that it was always comfortable for my partner, whose dick’s on the larger side. (However, as with any cock ring, generally you shouldn’t leave it on for more than 20-30 minutes at a time, tops.)
  • In theory, you could bend the vaginal arm upward so it hits the clit during intercourse instead of the G-spot. (However, as described below, the motor of that part of the toy is extremely buzzy, so I prefer to use a separate, rumblier clitoral vibe for that purpose.)
  • The instruction manual made me laugh, particularly the part that says chatting openly with your partner about your desires is step one of using their product (very true, and rarely addressed by sex toy companies!) and the part that describes two men using this product together for anal sex as being “filled to the brim for him & him.” More sex toys should have funny instruction manuals tbh 😂
  • FusyFun’s customer service was great in the interaction I had with them – there was a battery issue with the remote of the first Wave they sent us, and they sent out a new one as soon as we let them know. Kudos!
Image via FusyFun

Things I don’t like about the FusyFun Wave

  • Unfortunately, one of the worst things about the toy is also one of the most important: the motor that powers the cock ring, the perineum stimulator, and the bendable arm that goes into the vagina. It’s much buzzier and weaker than the prostate-focused motor, so it’s just not very stimulating and can cause some temporary desensitization after a while. That being said, I find buzzy vibration more tolerable on my G-spot than on my clit, especially when there’s motion/thrusting involved.
  • While it’s great that each motor has 9 modes (3 steady speeds followed by 6 patterns), it is annoying that there is only one button to control each, so if you want to get back to a previous setting, you have to either press the button enough times that it loops back around, or just turn the toy off and then on again.
  • My partner felt that they wouldn’t be able to thrust at full speed/intensity because the toy’s vaginal arm could be scrapey or cervix-pokey for me in that case. She also felt that this toy was unsuitable for cowgirl position because the vaginal arm would frequently fall out and need to be readjusted. So, to target the G-spot while using this toy, your best bet is some version of missionary position, thrusting at a slow-to-medium speed/intensity.
  • It only has a 60-minute battery life, although admittedly I wouldn’t tend to expect much better from a dual-motor toy at this price point ($55.90 at the time that I’m writing this!).
  • It’s only splashproof (IPX6), not fully waterproof – so you can wash it in the sink but shouldn’t use it in a bath, pool, etc.

Final thoughts

Who’s the ideal user for the FusyFun Wave? I’d say it’s someone who fits at least one of the following criteria:

  • You or your partner likes prostate vibration and would like to experience it during vaginal and/or anal sex
  • You or your partner likes G-spot vibration and would like to experience it during vaginal sex
  • You already enjoy using vibrating butt plugs, cock rings, and/or perineal stimulators during penetrative sex and would like a singular product that does all of the above, for convenience’s sake
  • You’re a sex toy nerd who collects (or simply curious about) unusual toys

The weak and buzzy external motor and the not-quite-perfected design notwithstanding, this is an interesting vibe that brings something new to the table (or to the bed, as the case may be). Like the We-Vibe and its ilk, the Wave seeks to make penetrative sex more pleasurable for everyone, while allowing you to maintain the intimacy and closeness that many people enjoy about that type of sex. If that sounds like something you’d be into, maybe wave hello to the Wave! 👋 🌊

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: Device Bondage Fleshlight Gas Mask

Kate Sloan
Gas mask, sans Fleshlight

One thing I’ve always loved about kinksters is our ingenuity. We have the wonderful superpower of being able to see the potential hotness in just about anything – and we can be wildly creative in seeking to fulfill our fantasies.

One such example is the Fleshlight gas mask. Let’s talk about it!

Clear-lens version (left) and blacked-out lens version (right), plus Fleshlight before being trimmed to size (below)

What is the Fleshlight gas mask?

Devised by the delightfully devious folks at Device Bondage, this product is an old-timey, military-style gas mask, which has been modified so that you can slip a Fleshlight Aviator insert (included) through the mouth.

When someone face-fucks you while you’re wearing this mask, your mouth is full of Fleshlight material and dick. Essentially, your mouth is operating as the hard casing normally found around a Fleshlight that keeps it tight and contained.

The company offers the gas mask with either clear lenses or blacked-out ones (see the above image for a comparison). Clear lenses are better for the voyeuristically inclined, and may also be a smart choice for beginners to breath play (or any of the other kinks mentioned below), as they’ll allow your partner to check in on you more easily mid-scene. Blacked-out lenses are better for those of us who enjoy dehumanization or sensory deprivation, although it’s worth noting that they aren’t fully opaque – just enough light comes through that I was able to navigate around my bedroom without tripping over all the furniture.

Included along with the gas mask itself was the following items:

  • A new-in-box Fleshlight Aviator stroker
  • A box-cutter/utility knife, which you’re supposed to use to manually trim the Fleshlight insert, since many users will not want 6+ inches of “SuperSkin™” in their mouth (more on this when I talk about my experience below)
  • A safety notice, explaining that this device “can pose a risk of restricting air supply” and smartly suggesting that doms and subs alike do a “trial run” prior to actually using the product, to make sure they know how to use it comfortably and safely (more safety tips below)
Included box-cutter/utility knife for trimming the Fleshlight insert

What kinds of kinksters might enjoy the Fleshlight gas mask?

Oh, where to even begin?! I’ll just go alphabetically – you might enjoy this product if you’re into any of the following kinks/fetishes:

  • Anonymous sex
  • Breath play & gagging
  • Cock worship
  • Consensual non-consent
  • Dominance & submission
  • Face-fucking
  • Fear play
  • Degradation & dehumanization
  • Medical play
  • Military clothing/paraphernalia
  • Rubber
  • Sensory deprivation
  • Spit/drooling

I happen to be into several of the kinks on this list, so although the company said I could pick any toy from their catalogue, I ended up settling on this one. I knew that using it would freak me out, but I was prepared for that eventuality, especially since I’ve had enjoyable experiences with fear play and other scary kinks before.

Some quick safety tips

First, you’re gonna want to remove the little grey circle of silicone that covers the air filter on the mask. This will enable you to breathe even while the Fleshlight is full o’ cock.

Definitely agree on a safe-signal beforehand with your partner whenever you use this product, because you won’t be able to speak while it’s in use. A good standard safe-signal is to tap twice on your partner’s thigh/arm/whatever, or to shake your head “no.” Make sure your partner knows they should stop immediately and check in on you whenever a safe-signal is used – or, alternatively, you may want to have one signal that means “stop immediately” and one that means “slow down/ease up/I need a break.”

Never leave someone unattended in this mask, incase they start to struggle to breathe for any reason. Likewise, the mask’s safety instructions recommend that you never restrain someone while they’re wearing this mask, presumably because then they won’t be able to easily use their safe-signal, remove the mask themselves, or physically push their partner away if they need to.

Finally, aftercare is always important in kink, but may be especially so when you’re playing with emotionally fraught kinks like consensual non-consent, fear play, and dehumanization. I tend to want cuddles and praise after engaging in these types of kinks, for instance. Before trying this toy, it’d be a good idea to get familiar with your partners’ aftercare needs, and your own, if you’re not already.

Things I like about this toy

  • Well, for one thing, it’s fucking hot! I’m not much for dehumanization kink in general, but I do love being (consensually) face-fucked, and feeling (consensually) “used” for someone else’s pleasure. Often while testing this toy, I felt reduced to being a blowjob machine, a mere hole to be enjoyed, which (in the context of my loving & respectful relationship with my partner) was hot as hell to me. It helped me tap into my submission very quickly, taking me down into a sweet, trancelike subspace. Yum.
  • My partner found it hot too, and said it was definitely pleasurable enough that she could’ve come from fucking my face that way (we didn’t test the mask “to completion” because the mask itself was scary enough to me and I low-key worried I’d choke to death on her cum). She described it as tighter than a regular BJ, though most of the tightness was focused around the base of her dick rather than the more sensitive head.
  • Because the trimmed Fleshlight is open at both ends, I get to lick my partner’s frenulum, taste her precum, etc. while she’s fucking the Fleshlight. This means I get to retain some of the intimate, closely connected feelings I get from giving a regular BJ, along with the more unusual (for me) ‘scary’ feelings of wearing a gas mask with blacked-out eyes.
  • Speaking of the blacked-out eyes, I ended up liking that version better than the clear-lens one, because I enjoy the sensory deprivation aspect of being blindfolded, and this is just a more extreme version of that. The dark lenses made me feel much more immersed in the scene and more mindful of the sensations I was feeling.
  • While face-fucking is one obvious way to use this product, the person wearing the mask can also take a more active role, bobbing their head up and down, as in a standard blowjob, to stimulate their partner’s dick with their mouth and the Fleshlight simultaneously. I like having this option when I want it!
  • Surprisingly enough, I think this product would be great for people who struggle with giving toothy blowjobs. Provided you haven’t trimmed the Fleshlight insert too short, it’ll cover your teeth, significantly cushioning the dick therein from any sharp edges. I really liked that my partner was able to fuck my face pretty rough and fast without either of us needing to worry about my teeth.
  • The straps on the mask make it very adjustable to fit different head sizes. I sometimes found it tricky to cram my head in there initially, but once the mask was on and the straps were tightened enough, the fit felt secure and comfortable, and I could breathe without issue.

Things I don’t like about this toy

  • Fundamentally I just don’t think I want to have Fleshlight material in my mouth, which this product pretty much requires. SuperSkin is a porous material, so – while it’s not toxic or anything – it can’t be fully cleaned between uses, as bacteria will always linger in the pores to some extent. I find this kinda gross and it would be a tough psychological hurdle for me to get over after a certain number of uses. (On that note: Make sure to wash and rinse the Fleshlight insert thoroughly before your first use; it tasted chemical-y to me straight out of the box.)
  • Both my partner and I found that our hair would often get caught in the metal parts of the mask straps, sometimes causing breakage or pain as we tried to disentangle it.
  • I didn’t love having to manually trim the Fleshlight insert down to size with the included super-sharp box-cutter, mainly because I am not a handy person and was terrified the whole time that I’d injure myself… but I do like that you can customize the Fleshlight to fit your mouth better in this way, since there is a lot of variation in mouth size between people.
  • I wasn’t really able to swallow very well while the mask was on (because my mouth was full of Fleshlight and dick) and so my drool kinda got everywhere, and sometimes made me feel a bit panicky and grossed out as it flowed back into my own mouth in large quantities. But I know that there are many spit fetishists who would find that sexy as hell, sooo…

Final thoughts

I’ve never tried anything like the Device Bondage Fleshlight gas mask before. It taps into a cavalcade of kinks, some of which I’m definitely into, and some of which I’m less into – but I’m really glad I own one, for those times when I want to feel dehumanized, “used,” and useful.

Some practical issues make it unlikely that this’ll become my go-to kink toy any time soon, but I appreciate any opportunity to suck my partner’s cock in new and interesting ways 😉 and just as with the blowjob mirror I reviewed back in 2017, this mask pushed my BJ fanaticism to its limits, and turned me on by scaring the shit out of me. Isn’t fear play fun?!

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

The Best Sex Toys of 2024

Kate Sloan

I’ve been lucky enough in my career to write sex toy listicles for all sorts of big publications. I love being able to spread sex toy awareness to the masses, but ultimately, this website is still my favorite place to write about these products – because this website is the only one where I can give you the full, detailed, unvarnished lowdown on why I like (or dislike) any given toy. I love having that kind of freedom!

With that in mind, I want to tell you about the toys I used and enjoyed the most in 2024…

Old faithfuls

Before I tell you about my 8 favorite new-to-me sex toys of the year, I gotta shout out the nightstand workhorses that’ve stuck around for a while:

 

My 8 favorite new toys of the year

Yep – I’m gonna do a “top 8,” MySpace-style!

Not all of these were released this year, but they all arrived in my collection sometime in 2024. I’ll start at the bottom and work my way up…

8. Mr Hankey’s Perfect Penis

Not much to say about this one, except that it’s a huge, beautiful silicone dick that I reach for when I want to feel well and truly fucked. And also it works better as an iPhone stand than many actual iPhone stands.

 

7. Uberrime Suavis plug

There are two vaginal plugs that I love: this one, and the Hole Punch Fluke, which has long been my go-to when I want some passive G-spot stimulation while receiving oral sex. The problem with the Fluke, however, is that I can’t wear it for longer than about an hour before my vag starts to get a little sore from the firmness of the silicone.

That’s where the Uberrime Suavis comes in – it’s softer, squishier, and more comfortable for longer wear (I think I’ve comfortably left it in for up to 3 hours before). The trade-off is that it doesn’t feel as good for me during orgasm as the Fluke does, because I prefer a firmer silicone at that moment – plus, sometimes my vag swallows the whole Suavis, base and all, which can make it a little tricky to retrieve. In any case, though, I love having two different vaginal plugs for the two different ways I like to use ’em!

6. Magic Wand Micro

They made a miniature version of the Magic Wand. Of course I love it!

The teeny-tiny Micro might disappoint some Wand diehards, because naturally it doesn’t quite stack up to its bigger siblings in terms of power – but it’s respectably rumbly and strong for its petite size, it’s portable as hell, and (perhaps most importantly of all) it’s really fucking cute.

 

5. Fun Factory Stronic G Forte

Hate to do this to ya, but this appears to be sold out everywhere… most likely because of Fun Factory’s recent acquisition by Satisfyer and it increasingly seems like they’re phasing out the brand. That would be a HUGE bummer for sex toy nerds around the world, because Fun Factory has long been one of the best and most ethical companies in the biz.

But it would feel weird to omit this toy from my list, even though you’ll have a hell of a time trying to sleuth one out at this point. Fun Factory’s Stronic line of “pulsators” thrust back and forth in small motions, and nowhere is this technology used more effectively than in the G Forte, which is made to target the G-spot with those quick little strokes. It’s girthier and stronger than the original Stronic G, and I’m sad that more people won’t get to experience it.

 

4. Solina Mega L dildo

At first glance, this toy may not look especially remarkable. It’s a straight, average-sized, realistic silicone dildo. So what?

Here’s what: This dildo is made of dual-density silicone, widely regarded as the best balance between realism and body-safety (since realistically squishy toys are usually made of porous and/or toxic materials) – and it only costs $40. It wasn’t so long ago that you’d have to shell out $100+ for a great dual-density silicone dildo – and the ones in that price range are still gorgeous and worthy of their price tags, but I love having an option I can recommend to folks who are on a tighter budget.

I’ve recently been sent a new addition to the Solina line, which I’ll write about sometime in 2025, and it’s lovely too. I’ve definitely got my eye on this brand!

3. Mr. Hankey’s Captain’s Hook

This toy’s deep curve and hefty girth make it one of the most breathtakingly G-spotty toys I’ve ever used. I find its realism sexy both visually and tactilely – that coronal ridge is simply marvelous.

I’d probably use it a lot more often if it wasn’t so heavy. But it speaks well of this toy that I’m willing to put up with the sore hands and arms occasionally in order to experience its pleasures.

 

2. Hot Octopuss Pulse Queen

One of my core skills as a sex toy reviewer is being very aware of my own “baseline,” in terms of sensitivity and sexual response, so that I will know when a toy causes significant deviations in those areas. And to that end, I noticed immediately that the Pulse Queen clitoral stimulator feels deeper and more stimulating than other vibes – and that the orgasms it gives me have a unique quality to them as well, a depth and sweetness that frequently makes me swear like a sailor while I’m coming.

The only reasons this toy isn’t in the #1 spot: It doesn’t stand up well at all to pressure (which makes it effectively useless in many PIV positions), and it has an annoyingly short battery life. But damn, nothing else feels quite like this toy, and when I’m craving it, absolutely nothing else will do.

 

1. We-Vibe Wand 2

The toys at the top of my list each year are usually fairly straightforward. They do one thing, and they do it well. Let that be a lesson to any sex toy company reps who may be reading this!

We-Vibe’s updated wand is a prime example. It’s “just” a wand – but oh, what a wand it is! It’s easily one of the rumbliest ones I’ve ever tried, and its speeds range from a low, gentle purr to a full-on jackhammer rumble. I’ve reached for it more times than I can count this year, because, simply put, it gets the fucking job done. It may not be the prettiest wand (or the most affordable), but it’s probably the wand that got me off the most times this year, and that’s a pretty big deal!

 

What were your favorite new toys this year?

 

As a reminder: when you buy toys through my links, I get a li’l monetary kickback (at no extra cost to you), which is a great way to “tip” me if you’ve appreciated my toy guidance this year 😘 Thanks, babes!