Sex Toy Reviews

Using the Bestvibe Mermaid As a Chastity Device

Kate Sloan

A key skill to develop when you’re a sex toy reviewer is turning bad toys into useable products. Almost every sex toy has more than one possible way of using it (and if it doesn’t, it had better be damn good at the one thing it does do), and finding offbeat ways to repurpose sex toys for pleasure is always, at the very least, interesting.

The most common manifestation of this in my sex life has been shitty vibrators with good shapes. Some vibes – like the original Lelo Mona and Mona Wave – have a shape so good that it transcends their disappointing motor. If a toy is curved just right to hit your spots, you may not even need to turn on the vibrations to enjoy it (albeit perhaps while paired with another toy).

And so it is with the Bestvibe Mermaid (my shortened version of the full title as per the product page, “Tongue Mermaid Remote Sex Toys 9 Modes Wearable Vibrators”). When I unplugged it from its first charging session and turned it on, I sighed and said aloud, “Oh nooo,” because the motor is wildly, offensively buzzy. “I can’t use this,” I thought. But then I examined its shape again and thought… Wait. Yes I can.

I’ve been delving into chastity play with my partner as of late – listen to this recent Dildorks episode for more on that – and in talking about this online, I’ve received a slew of questions from readers/listeners/friends. One of the most common questions I’ve gotten is “Do you know anything about chastity for vulvas?” My partner, an intrepid researcher as ever, suggests the chastity belts made by Neosteel and Fancy Steel, but unfortunately, good-quality products in this category tend to be prohibitively expensive. It’s no wonder some vulva-owning chastity kinksters turn to makeshift options like leather belts and Scotch tape (!!) in lieu of shelling out for a specially-made device.

The terrifying tongues of the Mermaid

Here’s the thing: I think the Bestvibe Mermaid could be a decent “chastity-lite” product for someone who’s curious about the kink and just wants to try it out, someone who fetishizes chastity psychologically but doesn’t need the whole physical kit and caboodle, or someone who simply can’t afford a proper chastity belt yet but wants to approximate the experience as best they can. The Mermaid has three arms (or, as the product copy calls them, “urgent antennae”) – a G-spot-targeting vaginal arm, a tiny flexible anal arm, and a bizarre clitoral simulator made to look like three little tongues. At only $45.99, it’s probably one of the most cost-effective ways to get both your holes simultaneously stuffed with body-safe materials.

Some important caveats before we proceed: It isn’t good for your vagina to wear anything inside it for more than about 8 hours at a time, tops (which is why, for example, that’s usually the max number of hours recommended for leaving in a menstrual cup before you take it out and wash it off). The vagina is self-cleaning, and long-term vaginal obstructions prevent that process from happening and can lead to infections. I’d vehemently recommend that you not wear this as a day-in-day-out chastity device, even if you wash it every time you take it out to use the bathroom. It’s more of a once-in-a-while thing, so if that’s the only kind of chastity you want to do, maybe this would work.

Inserting this toy is a bit of a “Who’s on first?” situation. I kept inserting one arm and then finding I couldn’t get the other one in, and then reversing them, all while they slipped every which way under my lubey fingers. After much experimentation, I think the easiest way to do it is to insert the vaginal arm and then the anal arm; the latter is more flexible and thus more easily manoeuvred while the other arm is inside you. It’s kind of a slippery fucker because of its bendiness, but on the bright side, it’s comfier than something super firm would be, especially while walking around. The clitoral portion barely makes contact with my clit, because it barely reaches it – par for the course with many dual-stim (or in this case, triple-stim) toys, unfortunately. Depending on your anatomy and your chastity goals, you may want some kind of additional measure in place to block clitoral access when using this toy for that purpose.

This toy is a good balance of comfortable vs. noticeable; you definitely know you’re wearing it the entire time you’re wearing it, but it stays anchored in place well while I’m walking around (provided I’m wearing close-fitting underwear), and doesn’t typically get painful or uncomfortable unless I need to re-lube it.

The vibrations are the saddest part of the toy. They’re just so bad. They’re buzzy and frustrating and weak. But if you’re using this toy for chastity, that becomes a feature instead of a bug. Wearing this toy with the vibrations turned on for any length of time will likely result in some (temporary) genital numbness, perhaps further adding to your sense of being denied pleasure and orgasms. (I know that’s putting a “Look on the bright side!” spin on a legitimate problem, but y’know, I’ve always been an “ass half-full” kind of gal.)

This toy comes with a remote, which would be a cool feature for D/s play because your partner could randomly turn the toy on and off while you were, say, out on a dinner date. However, the instructions are inscrutable so I wasn’t able to test this. Ditto with the HEATING feature that apparently can only be enabled via the remote.

All in all, while the Bestvibe Mermaid lacks a lot of key things that would make it useable as the vibrator it purports to be (such as a decent motor or a comprehensible instruction manual), there are worse things you could shove in your holes if you’re looking to plug ’em up for a chastity scene. I can’t say I’ll be reaching for this one a lot, as chastity and orgasm denial aren’t kinks of mine (at least not as a bottom), but hey, I’m glad it exists. Go forth and obstruct your orifices if you so desire, my kinky friends.

 

Thanks to Bestvibe for sending me this product to review! This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this toy. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: Laid D2

Kate Sloan

I was on the phone with a friend when the Laid D2 dildo arrived on my doorstep. “Should I open it now?” I asked him.

“Yes!” my friend said, so I did. I gasped. I oohed and aahed. I held it up to the light and said, “It’s so smooth and heavy and shiny!!” I could not contain my delight, even knowing that the person on the other end of the phone line had not asked for a play-by-play. Luckily, he was just amused.

I’ve eyed this dildo from afar for years, but was never quite intrigued enough to request it from a sex toy retailer before. Although it is made of smooth black granite (SWOON), its shape is very similar to those of the We-Vibe Rave and Lelo Ella, so I kinda felt like… been there, fucked that. But I shouldn’t have written it off, because in use it’s actually pretty different from those toys.

The main difference, of course, is the material. I cannot overstate how sexy this toy feels in my hand. It’s hefty and weighty – not quite so much as steel, but certainly more than silicone – and it feels naturally cold to the touch, like metal. The smoothness also makes it feel altogether different from a silicone toy; it can glide against your G-spot rather than roughly rubbing past it (which silicone sometimes seems to do even when adequately lubricated), and it doesn’t require as much lube as some other toys do because of the frictionlessness of the surface.

It’s also just beautiful. It retails for less than a lot of other “luxury” dildos – on KissKiss.ch, it goes for 98.90 Swiss francs, which is about $106 American or $143 Canadian – but still definitely feels luxurious. In fact, I’m sort of gobsmacked you can get a hand-crafted dildo of this quality for that price. I think this would make a great gift for a sweetheart you’re trying to impress, provided they’ve expressed interest in owning a dildo for vaginal penetration (the D2 is not anal-safe). You can tell them it’s a toy made of 500-million-year-old granite, because apparently it is.

The D2 has two ends, both of which are insertable – but the flattened head on one side is really the star of the show. It’s optimized for G-spot stimulation. Just like the Lelo Ella, the D2 makes it easy to hone in on your spot and rock against it – but unlike the Ella, its neck has no give whatsoever, so you don’t even have to push that hard to elicit intense sensations. I like a flattened head better for my G-spot than a smaller or pointier tip; stimulation that’s too intense or direct on that spot can overwhelm me and may even be painful, especially when I’m not warmed up. The D2’s wide head (a little over 1.5″ in diameter at its widest) lets you spread out the pressure over a bigger area, so your whole G-spot gets massaged, rather than just one area getting poked. That said, the bigness of the head also means some people may have trouble getting it past their pubic bone comfortably, or inserting it at all.

The most astonishing thing to me about this toy is the extent to which it makes me squirt. The first time I used it, I was squirting so continuously that I almost didn’t notice it at first; it was a constant, low-level gushing, rather than a big, climactic ejaculation. It’s also remarkable that this toy makes me squirt so much without often creating that painful/uncomfortable “need to pee” feeling that more pinpointed G-spot toys often do. All I have to do is ride the gentle wave of pleasure, and before I know it, I’ll have soaked through my sheets. (Lay a towel down before using this toy!)

The D2 has an asymmetrical shape that’s supposed to enable you to gently rotate/rock it against your G-spot rather than thrusting in and out, but I don’t find this terribly effectual once I get past a certain level of arousal. Teasing my spot is fine for early in a session, but as I get more and more turned on, I tend to want more pressure and speed. The D2 can be thrust in and out, but it’s awkward: the handle gets slippery easily and is tricky to grip and angle right (especially for my sore hands). I end up changing my hand position several times throughout any given session with this toy, because its handle just isn’t very comfortable or useful.

However, that same handle can also be inserted. “Won’t that be pokey/stabby?” a friend asked when I mentioned this, because the straight side of the D2 does indeed taper pretty sharply at its very end. In use, though, it doesn’t bother me at all, and can actually reach my A-spot very effectively. The combination of the slim tip, hard material, and easy angleability (that’s a word, right?) of this end of the toy makes it feel like I’m really getting fucked when I use it this way. It feels almost as impactful as heftier A-spot-friendly toys like the Njoy Eleven. Blessedly, this side is easier to thrust with, because holding onto the flattened G-spot end gives you a lot of leverage and a secure grip.

This toy, I have to say, is pretty blissful. It’s a gentle G-spot jubilator, an awesome A-spot annihilator, and a gorgeous granite gift. If there’s someone in your life who likes firm stimulation of either or both of those spots, and deserves to have their vagina totally spoiled with pleasure and beauty, get them a Laid D2 – even if that person is you!

 

Thanks so much to KissKiss.ch for sending me this product to review – they’re a Switzerland-based sex shop with a killer section of luxury sex toys! This post was sponsored, which means I was paid to write a fair and honest review of the toy. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Guest Review: CB-6000 Chastity Cage

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My partner and I have been getting into chastity play over the past couple months. As one of their assignments for me, I recently asked them to write a guest review of their first cock cage. Here’s what they had to say!

I’ve long lusted after the CB-6000 from CB-X. It’s the latest iteration of the most popular chastity cage for penises on the market; you see it in chastity porn, posts on Reddit, and hanging on the wall of just about every sex shop you walk into. When it was on sale online recently for $100 USD, I asked Kate if I should order one, and she seemed almost as curious about what playing with “enforced chastity” in our dynamic would be like as I was. So I decided to pick one up. But first, I had to make two more choices: size and color.

CB-X makes their cages in 3 sizes: standard (6000), small (6000-S), and large (“The Curve”). Be careful when measuring your flaccid penis to decide on a size, because if the idea of locking up your cock appeals to you enough to buy one, you’ll probably get a little worked up like I did and accidentally order up a size. If you do, you can always purchase just the cage portion in the future for less than the cost of the entire set.

Prevailing wisdom suggests that almost everyone should order the 6000-S. It’s the best-selling size, and it fits many flaccid cocks – even if, just looking at it, you might think it won’t. In a cock cage like the CB models, you want a tight fit to make urination easier and to suppress and contain erections more effectively.

The cages also come in a variety of colors and finishes: classic clear, pink (especially popular among kinksters into sissification and feminization), red, polished chrome, gold, wood (?!), and (most bizarre of all) camouflage. I chose clear because there’s something even more erotic to me about the idea that I can “look, but not touch.” It also seems prudent to get a clear cage if you’re trying chastity for the first time and want to be sure you’re cleaning and drying your cage properly and avoiding any potential penile injuries.

The CB-6000 arrives in a black zip-up carrying case containing the polycarbonate cage, 2 bases, 5 U-rings, and 4 locking pins and spacers to control the width of the gap between the ring and the cage where your balls hang down. The kit also includes a brass Master lock (not that kind of Master), two keys (one for emergencies and one for your keyholder), 5 numbered plastic locks so you can wear it through a TSA screening, and a sample of silicone-based lube, which helps to get the cage on correctly and keep it from chafing day-to day. To use the tamper-evident travel locks: put one on, send a verification photo to your keyholder if they’d like one, toss your unlocked brass lock in your luggage, and go through security as normal. Once you’re through, you can switch back to the real lock and re-verify in the airport bathroom or your destination.

Unboxing and figuring out how to put on this device is… a process. With everything spread out on my bed, I watched this YouTube video from the company and thought I had the hang of it. The first step involves selecting the right ring size to fit around your cock and balls. You want something snug but not constricting, so you should be able to fit about one finger between it and your scrotum. Then you lube up the head of your cock (or use something called the stocking method) to slide into the cage. The problem, again, is rubbing lube all over your dick and thinking about chastity very well might make you hard, and the cage won’t be able to close correctly when you have an erection. So you’ll need to wait until you can keep your arousal under control for just long enough to slide a locking pin and spacer through the base and secure the lock. Getting the cage on is also much easier if you’re clean-shaven, but even if you are, there are still lots of spots where it can pinch your sensitive skin if you’re not extremely careful.

I initially wore it with the second-largest ring and largest spacer, but I quickly realized how important sizing is and adjusted to smaller sizes. If you pick too large a ring, the cage will slide down your shaft and be too easy to slip out of; too tight and you’ll constrict blood flow to your balls and they’ll end up feeling cold and turning purple (fine for a few minutes, not safe if it persists). After a few days of experimentation, most people will be able to find a combination that works for them. This ability to customize the size of the ring and gap is one of the best things about the CB series of cages and why I picked it as my foray into this kink. Rather than spending $300-$500 on a custom-manufactured steel cage, you can use this kit to figure out exactly how you want chastity to fit into your life – and onto your cock – before dropping that kind of dough.

The CB-6000 is a classic for a reason: it’s incredibly good at what it’s designed to do. It’s very difficult (but not impossible) to escape from if worn correctly, it makes touching your penis for the purpose of pleasure impractical via hard plastic and small slits that most fingers can’t penetrate, and it’s nearly undetectable under clothes, even my tightest jeans. Plus, it allows for easy cleaning and urination. While you can wash with a showerhead or under a bath faucet, I opted for a squirt bottle with an angled tip, and while some users can pee standing up while wearing it, I nearly always sit down and wipe after to avoid making a mess.

But it’s not without its flaws: there are two major downsides to this cage. First, it’s very difficult to sleep in, compared to other cages on the market. The circular shape of the ring causes tight compression of the scrotum during nocturnal erections which will wake you up a few times a night feeling like you’re getting (gently) kicked in the balls and stumbling out of bed to pee and walk off the pain. Second, there are tiny vents on the side of the cage that cause unsightly bulging when you get hard in this device, with thin strips of sensitive skin poking through the holes whenever your cock fills the cage. The latter is mostly an aesthetic issue for me, and some wearers tape over the holes to avoid this. But, those vents can also leave visible imprints on your shaft when you take the cage off that can last an hour or so at the very moment when you probably want to show off your cock to a partner who has just unlocked you. Not ideal unless you’re into seeing yourself pinched by plastic in a masochistic or CBT way.

Wearing the CB-6000 for 9 days straight last month was one of my favorite kinky things I’ve done all year, leaving me hypersensitive, attentive to my partner, and leading to an orgasm after I was unlocked that felt 5 times stronger than usual. Despite its flaws, it’s clear why it’s so many people’s introduction to chastity play. It’s the only sex toy I’ve ever purchased that’s guaranteed me fewer orgasms, and I’m certainly not complaining… or if I am, it’s all consensual.

Review: Magic Wand Plus

Kate Sloan

When I interviewed Shay Martin – co-owner of Vibratex, the company that legendarily saved the Magic Wand from extinction when Hitachi wanted to pull the plug on it – for a story I was writing in 2015, she said something that sex toy makers never say. She said that in updating and modernizing the toy, she was doing her best to keep everything the same, with the exception of the problems the redesign was trying to fix (mostly, the porous foam head and the overworked motor). She said she knew she was going to receive phone calls from Magic Wand purists regardless, claiming the new toy felt different or sounded different or just was different in ways that mattered to them – so it made sense to change only what absolutely was not working – a head all too easily stained by menstrual blood or cum, a motor known to occasionally burst into flames – and leave almost everything else the exact same.

This is rare in the sex toy biz. The We-Vibe Nova 2 is a recent example of a sex toy re-release that kept the best and tossed the rest – but in general, sex toy updates tend to add bells and whistles nobody asked for (*cough* Lelo) without making the improvements that would actually excite customers (*cough* also Lelo). So, needless to say, I’ve been wanting to try the Magic Wand Plus ever since it was announced – and thanks to my pals at TheVibed.com, I finally got to!

For context, there are already two major Magic Wands to be aware of (not counting the literally hundreds, if not thousands, of knockoffs and wannabes out there): the Magic Wand Original, a plug-in 2-speed behemoth essentially identical to the original Hitachi Magic Wand except for the minor motor updates as outlined above, and the Magic Wand Rechargeable, a contemporized version that no longer chains you to an outlet and that boasts 2 extra speeds and some vibration patterns. The MWR is the better choice for the vast majority of users, because its added 2 speeds are on the lower end of the intensity spectrum, bringing it down from “HOLY FUCK” territory into something more approachable, even for a vibrator novice – but, notably, the MWR is more than twice the price of the MWO. So it’s no surprise so many horny hopefuls on a budget would go for the MWO; it was the best option that existed for them – until the Magic Wand Plus.

The MWP is the best of both worlds: it has the MWR’s nonporous silicone head and wider variety of speeds, but is only a little pricier than the MWO: $65 versus $55 on TheVibed. The trade-off is that it’s plug-in rather than rechargeable, and it doesn’t have vibration patterns. That’s it.

The more that I think about it – and the more that I use the MWP instead of my well-worn old MWR – the more I realize that those trade-offs are no big deal for me at all. I almost never use vibration patterns, and I almost never use wand vibrators anywhere that doesn’t have electrical outlet access (especially in, y’know, pandemic times). Sure, it’s great to have a travel-friendly vibe I could whip out in a bar bathroom or back alley if need be, but generally I need those vibes to be small. I can literally only think of one time that I used a wand in a situation that lacked nearby outlets, and that was during a porn shoot at a sex club – not exactly a normal set of circumstances for most people.

The combination of laziness, depression, and chronic pain also renders me chronically reticent to plug in my vibes when they run out of juice – so, despite the modernity and convenience of wireless toys, my most-used vibrators these days are ones that plug into the wall. I am just not organized or on-top-of-things enough to habitually remember to charge vibes before I need them, so electric ones are, oddly enough, often the best choice for me. (That said, though, the MWR has a brilliant feature a lot of other rechargeable toys lack: you can use it while it’s charging. The more you know…)

So, that being the case, I cannot think of a single thing I love about the Magic Wand Rechargeable that the Magic Wand Plus doesn’t also have. And it’s about half the price, which is a pretty fucking big benefit, especially right now when many people’s sex toy budget is – to say the least – constricted.

The lack of vibration patterns on the MWP freed up some space in the control panel, so Vibratex added a “minus” button. This means that you can quickly move back to the previous speed if you so desire, instead of needing to cycle through all 4 like you do on the MWR. This is a pretty small difference, unless you like to move up and down the intensity scale a lot during sessions like I do, in which case it might actually be super convenient.

I do not have Princess & the Pea-level genital discernment skills, so in discussing the more minute differences between these toys, I will defer to my friend Epiphora, who does. She says the MWP is slightly buzzier and stronger than the MWR – possibly owing to differences in motor weight – and when I really strain to pay attention, I can detect this too. But, as she also notes, the difference is most notable between the 2nd and 3rd speed, so if (like me) you tend to hang out on the lower 2 speeds, this won’t be an issue for you. (For reference, I always max out when using smaller vibes like the Tango, but the lowest 2 speeds of the MWR/MWP are more than rumbly and strong enough to get me off.)

Perhaps as a result of the minor differences in buzziness/strength, I also notice that the MWP is louder and rattlier than the MWR. But both quiet down significantly when pressed against skin and flesh, where (presumably) they will spend most of their time.

I sort of wish the MWP’s wire was a bit longer – it stretches 6 feet – but I also know that the 12-foot length of my beloved Eroscillator‘s cord gets tangled more than I would prefer, and can be more of a hindrance than a convenience at times. If your preferred sexytimes zone is more than a couple feet away from an outlet, I would suggest throwing an extension cord into your cart alongside the MWP if possible, but it’s not a huge deal. The wire also gets in my way occasionally when I’m holding the toy, but I just rotate it around until the wire juts out away from me and the annoyance is neutralized.

So what’s my verdict? The Magic Wand Plus is a genius invention. Vibratex found a way to make a blessedly more affordable version of their absolutely magnificent Magic Wand Rechargeable, without compromising on any functions that matter to me. If you care a lot about portability or patterns, then disregard this – but if all you want is beautifully strong vibrations at a decent price, I think the Magic Wand Plus is absolutely the best bang for your buck.

 

Thanks so much to TheVibed for sending me this toy to try! This review was sponsored, which means I was paid to write an honest and fair review of this toy. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: Biird Obii

Kate Sloan

Picture yourself as Cinderella, or Snow White, or another of those Disney princesses who enlist woodland creatures to do their bidding. Picture the sun cresting over the horizon, beams of light beginning to stream into your quaint forest cottage. Picture a pink cartoon bird landing on your windowsill and chirping, “Would you like an orgasm?” That’s kind of the whole vibe (so to speak) of the adorable Biird Obii.

Made to look like a stylized little bird, the Obii is a rechargeable vibrator that also offers “pressure wave” stimulation, the technology originally developed (as far as I know) by Womanizer and later utilized by other companies like Satisfyer and Lelo. New phenomena in the realm of clitoral stimulation don’t come along too often, so it’s no surprise that so many sex toy reviewers and sex writers have effused about the wonders of pressure waves – they really are pretty cool. They work by way of a tiny panel inside the toy’s nozzle that moves back and forth to create rhythmic suction/pressure around your clit, if you can get a good enough seal. This makes the sensation essentially “touchless” in a way that vibrators are not, so some people report more intense orgasms and shorter refractory periods with this type of toy.

The control panel on the bottom of the Obii – thoughtfully labeled, with buttons that are easy to press but hard to accidentally press, hooray – allows you to flip between the toy’s 4 vibration modes (3 steady speeds + 1 pulsing pattern) and its 3 pressure-wave intensities. You can use one at a time or turn them both on if you like your clit-sucking with a side of vibration.

The problem is, the vibrations on this toy are… sad. Like, “weak” or “disappointing” are not even the right words; when I turned on the vibrations for the first time, I felt like saying out loud to the toy, “Oh, honey…” They’re meager, they’re buzzy as hell, and they’re buried so deeply in the toy that I can’t even discern where the motor is or which part of the vibe I’m supposed to press against my clit, since all positionings feel equally numbing and underwhelming. If you are looking for a vibrator – or you’re curious about pressure wave toys but want to be able to use yours as a vibrator incase it turns out you don’t like pressure waves – then definitely look elsewhere. The power and resonance of the Obii’s vibrations are literally on par with one of those single-use bullets sold alongside Trojan condoms in fluorescently-lit drugstore aisles.

But what makes the Obii interesting and remarkable isn’t the vibration, it’s the pressure waves. And those are actually pretty swell. The waves this toy creates feel stronger and, for lack of a better word, “rumblier” than those I’ve experienced from some others. While reaching orgasm is always a slow process for me with this type of toy, because it focuses so intensely on the exposed tip of my clit and thus risks overstimulating me easily, they are nonetheless very much within reach when I’m using this toy. I wish there were more than 3 settings, because my clit is a sensitive little flower and I like gradation, but the existing settings are plenty good enough to get me off. And incase you’ve never had a pressure-wave orgasm, I’ll reiterate here: they really are different from orgasms with a vibrator, or orgasms achieved via just about any other means. They’re kinda like… if your clit was a dick, and you were getting a blowjob from a robot, but the robot only knew how to suck the head of your dick and not the shaft, but it was really good at that. (Bam. Another brilliant sex toy reviewer metaphor. 😂 I’m good at my job sometimes, I swear.)

An issue with the Obii, which some other reviewers who I deeply respect have pointed out, is that the nozzle is unusually small for a toy of this type, and that the moving panel inside the nozzle is abnormally close to the opening. What this means is that people with bigger clits will likely have a hard time using the Obii comfortably. I have asked a couple partners of mine over the years whether my clit is small, average, or large (yes, dating me is quite an adventure), and both of them said it was average or perhaps slightly larger than average, and I found this toy comfortable and inoffensive – but your mileage may vary. (It’s annoying that culturally we don’t talk about clits nearly as much as we talk about dicks, and so we don’t have an understanding of what an “average-sized” clit would look like, but also, maybe that’s a blessing in disguise. There’s already enough vagina-shame in the world; let’s not start comparing and competing with regards to clit size!)

The Obii won the Red Dot design award, and it’s easy to see why, from an aesthetic standpoint: it’s very pretty. I actually love how cute it is, and I think it would make you happy if you’re one of those people whose experience is genuinely improved when the sex toy you’re using is #AestheticGoals. It also doubles as a bedside lamp when placed on its cradle to charge; it casts a dim, warm glow that would be ideal for sexytimes (although, you know, the light would go off whenever you grabbed the Obii to use it). The silicone used all over the toy is wonderfully soft and silky in my hand, though it’s also one of the foremost lint magnets in my entire sex toy collection.

The silkiness of the silicone also poses problems during use. I can’t maintain a solid grip on the toy for long unless I squeeze it past the point of comfort (which, as someone with chronic pain in my hands and elsewhere, I’m especially disinclined to do). The ridges on the side of the toy seem like they could help with grippiness, but in practice they don’t actually help much. This also points to one of the problems with making a “design-y” sex toy: just because a shape looks pretty doesn’t mean it’ll feel good in someone’s hand or against someone’s body. While testing the Obii I often found myself reminiscing fondly on more ergonomically-shaped pressure wave toys like the Satisfyer Penguin.

All of that said, though… I can’t deny that I like pressure wave stimulation, in a “forced orgasm” kind of way, because it’s more intense and more direct than the stimulation I typically pursue – and I also can’t deny that the Biird Obii is pretty damn good at that type of stimulation. At one point while I was testing it, I watched a video on YouPorn of a domme holding a wand vibe against a penis pump in which her sub’s cock was trapped, and it occurred to me that the stimulation of pressure wave toys is similar to what I imagine that would feel like: mild and muffled vibration paired with insistent suction. It’s a very effective combo on my clit and on the clits of many other people. The Biird Obii may not be the perfect manifestation of this type of toy, but it’s cute as hell, smooth and soft, and surprisingly satisfying – so I say, as long as your clit is on the small-to-average side, have at it.

 

Thanks to Biird for sending me the Obii to try! This review was sponsored, which means that I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.