The Most Exciting New Sex Toys I Saw at ANME

Last weekend in Burbank, California, I attended my first ANME Founders, a tradeshow where sex toy manufacturers hobnob with retailers and media-makers while showing off their latest flashy toys. It was an exhausting trip – me and Bex were there drumming up interest for a forthcoming publishing project we’re working on – but the toys excited me nonetheless. Here are my faves that I saw…

California Exotics has a new line of bullets coming out called Glam. They are shiny and pretty, but – as anyone who’s read (or written) a lot of sex toy reviews could tell you – that doesn’t always mean a product is good-quality or can make you come.

However, when I picked up this bullet and turned it on, I said, “Whoa!” It was way rumblier than I was expecting. It also comes in a gorgeous turquoisey-blue. I’ll be impatiently refreshing the CalEx website until they release this little beaut.

Likewise, Dame has also released a new bullet. It’s called the Zee, and it is bright blue, USB-rechargeable, and decently rumbly (it’s comparable to their Kip clitoral vibrator which I reviewed recently). It’s cool to see this company expanding their catalogue so colorfully, and putting effort into making sure their motors are great.

I was heartened to see that many companies are now offering vibes that are easy to grip between your fingers, like the Blush Novelties Noje B6. As someone with a chronic pain disorder that often manifests as soreness, stiffness, and/or weakness in my hands, I appreciate having options that don’t require me to (literally) white-knuckle my way through hand pain in order to get off.

The folks at Clone-a-Willy have created a vulva-focused version of their flagship product: you can cast a mold of your bits and attach them to a Fleshlight-esque sleeve. A lot of people ask me whether there’ll ever be something similar for the inside of the vagina, but the folks at Clone-a-Willy told me that would be invasive and scientifically difficult – I would imagine because of the way the vag flattens in on itself when not “in use.” But this product is a perfectly serviceable substitute, and frankly I think my partner, for one, would be plenty happy owning a fuckable facsimile of my bits!

In a stroke of true genius, a company called CellMate has introduced an app-controllable chastity device. It’s ideal for people who like to do solo chastity play as well as folks who prefer to do it with a partner acting as their “keyholder.”

I suspect this product is also geared toward pro dommes (including those who only interact with clients online), since a sales rep told me one person can control up to 50 devices from their app at a time! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I love the ingenuity of kinksters.

Finally: maybe this is old news – I wouldn’t know, because I barely follow Lelo anymore, now that they’ve fucked up so many times that I kinda feel gross even using their toys – but Lelo now makes a beauteous turquoise version of their large Smart Wand. I loved mine when I owned one, but the battery completely died after less than two years. If they’ve updated this toy’s inner workings so the battery lasts longer and the toy doesn’t have weird mechanical defects, that could be intriguing… if not for the fact that they still haven’t answered for their various past missteps. SIGH.

What upcoming sex toys are you excited about?

12 Days of Girly Juice 2019: 1 Fantastic Toy Company

I don’t have that many “favorite sex toy companies” anymore. I used to like Lelo, but they’ve fucked up so many times that I feel weird even using their toys anymore, let alone promoting them. I used to adore Tantus, too, but they have also fucked up and haven’t made anything I’ve been excited about in a while anyway. The Eroscillator is my favorite toy ever, but the company itself is sort of cryptic and aloof, and even I acknowledge that their flagship toy is drastically overpriced. There aren’t many companies left in this biz about which I’m willing to wholeheartedly say, “They are good people who make good products and I 100% recommend them.”

With that in mind, however, I gotta say that my 2019 sex toy company of the year is Uberrime. (It’s apparently pronounced “ooh-burr-REE-may,” incase you were wondering.)

When I first ventured into sex toy reviewing, I was struck by the beauty of many toys, especially handmade ones. Artfully sculpted silicone and eye-catching colors made my heart sing. Now, nearly 8 years into this wacky journey, I’m more blasé about toys – but Uberrime’s products activate that long-dormant excitement in me again. There’s something straight-up delightful about a glow-in-the-dark tentacle dildo or a purple dragon dildo with golden balls. Uberrime’s whole aesthetic, IMO, is childlike playfulness meets design ingenuity, and I love it.

Because let’s not forget: these dildos aren’t just beautiful, they also feel great. The adorable Jellyfish dildo is so satisfyingly textured that it made it into my “best sex toys of the year” list. My true love of the Uberrime universe, however, is the Night King, a lengthy, A-spot-stroking behemoth that I still use at least once a week, more than a year after acquiring it. There’s nothing else in my collection quite like it. Its silicone has just enough squish to make it comfortable when it’s pounding hard and deep inside me, but enough firmness and length to satisfy that deeply-buried erogenous zone.

My partner and I like the Night King so much, in fact, that we’ve recently taken to using it during strap-on sex: my beau slips into a RodeoH briefs harness, tugs the Night King through the hole, and suddenly has this magnificent alien dick with which to fuck me. Its extra-long stature and wide base make it truly ideal for strap-on sex. Just a hot tip from me to you!

So what’s next on my Uberrime wishlist? The dual-density Bella is a stunner and would probably work well for pegging. I’m entranced by the Dr. Manhattan, which boasts measurements similar to the Night King’s but without all that intense texture (because, let’s face it, my vag just isn’t always up to the task). My friend Epiphora adores the Splendid, so much that the company even made a limited-edition version in her favorite color. All of these look fantastic and I’m excited to see what Uberrime comes up with next!

What was your favorite sex toy company of the year?


Aaand that’s a wrap on blog posts here for 2019! I’ll be back on January 1st (or thereabouts, depending on… New Year’s hangovers) with my annual Sextistics post. Here’s a brief credits sequence so I can thank the people who helped make Girly Juice dot net run smoothly in 2019:

  • Matt, my supportive angel, first reader, and de facto official photographer
  • All the wonderful clients who commissioned sponsored posts and placed ads here this year (wanna become one of them in 2020? you know what to do!)
  • All the companies and makers who sent me cool products to review here
  • My affiliates, especially SheVibe
  • Josh Clarke, assistant extraordinaire 😉
  • The tech support people at Hostgator, Namecheap, and Simplecast
  • My blogger friends (check ’em out in my sidebar)
  • My newsletter subscribers, Patreon supporters, and other people who financially make my work possible
  • …and most crucially, you, my lovely readers!

Happy holidays and have a good 2020, babes! 💋

12 Days of Girly Juice 2019: 9 Best New Sex Toys

Ah, sex toys. What would I ever do without them? (Answer: have unsatisfying orgasms and a worse relationship with my body, probably.)

I like to reflect at year’s end on my favorite newly-acquired sex toys of the year. Whether you’re reading this looking for gift recommendations (for a loved one or yourself!) or just out of curiosity, I hope you’ll find something of interest here!

 

9. Zumio S (available at SheVibe)

This teensy oscillating vibe is an updated version of the previous Zumio, and this time around, it’s designed to be more suitable for folks with ultra-sensitive clits. The whole Zumio line is more intense and pinpoint than I tend to prefer, so they’re never gonna be nightstand staples for me, but I like this one for forced orgasm play or when I’m in the mood to overwhelm myself with sensation.

 

8. We-Vibe Moxie (available at SheVibe and the Smitten Kitten)

We-Vibe’s one of the few companies I would trust to make a decent panty vibe, considering how often toys in that genre tend to be total garbage. The Moxie is, by contrast, a treasure: strong, rumbly, well-designed, and cute as hell. I wish the Bluetooth functionality was a little more reliable, but for my money, if you need a discreet vibe to wear in your underwear for public play or just to liven up a visit to the grocery store, this is the best one you’ll find.

 

7. Honour Steel Dragon Claw (available from Honour)

I requested this on a whim and it’s gotten more use than I ever expected it to. Dubbed “the weird scratchy thing” in my household, this elegant, ergonomic metal claw is great for sensation play, and the hefty handle can even be used for impact. It’s rare these days for me to encounter a type of toy I’ve never tried before, so this was a refreshing product to get my kinky little hands on.

 

6. Uberrime Jellyfish (available at SheVibe)

My vagina’s not a texture fiend, unlike those of some of my sex toy reviewer friends, so I wasn’t expecting to love this veiny, ridgy dildo. However, Uberrime did a brilliant thing by making this toy in a gorgeously soft and pliable silicone, which makes the extreme texture much easier for me to handle. Despite its obvious unreality, when I squeeze on this dildo, it feels weirdly… cock-like? #DildoMagic!

 

5. Bodywand Midnight (available at SheVibe)

I’m verrrry skeptical of new wand vibrators – hell, new vibrators in general – because so many of them are atrocious or just boring. Bodywand’s been making good stuff for ages, though (along with a fair amount of so-so stuff), so I figured this all-black electric wand of theirs would be worth a shot, and it was! I love the precise control offered by the dial, and the just-rumbly-enough vibrations topped off with some satisfying buzz.

 

4. KinkLab vampire gloves (available at Spectrum Boutique)

(Content note for this one: blood!) Okay, these are technically my partner’s, not mine. (We do intend to eventually combine our sex toy collections, however, if you know what I’m sayin’.) But they have come into contact with my blood, which – as risk-aware blood-play aficionados know – means that they now must be reserved only for use with me, for hygiene reasons. Vampire gloves are leather gloves with little metal spikes pointing out of the fingers and thumb; you can use them for scratchy sensation play, extra-intense impact play, and various other activities. These ones are well-constructed and super sexy, and I’ve enjoyed every scene we’ve done with them.

 

3. Dame Kip (available at SheVibe)

I love a cute, travel-friendly vibe! This one hasn’t quite edged out my other long-time faves, like the Tango, but I like it very much – it has a good motor and its design is well thought-out. The sunny yellow color makes me smile, too!

 

2. Vixen Creations Bandit (available at SheVibe)

Realistic dildos can seem a bit boring when contrasted with all the neon-colored dongs and ridged dragon dicks on the market, but sometimes classics are classics for a reason. This one has gotten a ton of use for me, mostly because it’s long enough to hit my A-spot and squishy enough not to ram my cervix into oblivion. Good job, Vixen.

 

1. Weal & Breech purpleheart mallet (commission your own from Weal & Breech)

This was an anniversary gift from my partner, custom-made for us by the utter geniuses at Weal & Breech, and it’s hands-down my favorite impact toy I’ve ever owned. It’s the thuddiest thing ever, feels and looks elegant as hell, and totally intrigues every kinky friend of mine who sees it. It’s a treasured possession, the kind of thing I would save in a fire alongside my computer and old journals. Get your hands on one if you love thuddy impact!

 

What were your favorite sex toys of the year?

Review: Dame Kip

Dame is an interesting company, from the perspectives of sex toy design, marketing, and even feminism. They made waves earlier this year when they sued New York’s public transit system for refusing to let them hock their wares in subway ads, despite the MTA previously running ads for erectile dysfunction pills. Dame decried the company’s sexism, sex-negativity, and suppression of free speech. In the end, even if the MTA hampered Dame’s sales by limiting their publicity venues, the toymakers recouped some of that publicity by launching this very public lawsuit. The media largely painted them as feminist heroes, fighting against patriarchs and puritans.

Whether or not that’s totally true – I have a hard time accepting that corporations, mired in destructive capitalism as they are, can truly be said to be ethical no matter their values – Dame is certainly doing some interesting things. Their marketing is colorful and friendly-looking, as are their toys. I hated their first release, the bug-like Eva, because it refused to stay put and its buzzy motor annoyed my clit, but Dame took customer feedback into account and got to work making more effectual toys. Now their lineup is wider, cuter, and better than ever.

The toy of theirs I chose to review, when offered, was the lemon-yellow Kip, a clitoral vibrator that fits neatly in the palm of your hand. With its flat, tilted tip, it reminded me of the We-Vibe Tango, one of the best clit vibes ever created. I was interested to see whether Dame’s newer offerings could push them into the top tier of toymakers, adored and coveted alongside the likes of Fun Factory and Lelo. Astonishingly, based on this toy, I think they are well on their way.

The Kip immediately sets itself apart from most high-end clitoral vibes currently on the market, by a) being bright yellow and b) having both an “increase speed” button and a “decrease speed” button. I admire Dame’s bravery in creating a toy in a color outside the standard ones for “women’s” sex toys; any departure from staid pinks and purples in the sex toy industry is much-appreciated. The buttons, however, have actual functional importance. They let you adjust the toy’s vibrations more specifically and intuitively than vibes that have only one button for cycling through all their modes, like the Tango. Since I tend to move up and down in vibration speed several times in any given session, this feature is crucial for me, and often a major strike against toys that lack it.

The shape of the vibe, too, is rather unique. While it does have the flat, pointed tip I associate with the Tango, on the Kip it’s not so much flat as ever-so-slightly concave, allowing it to gently cup your clit. The pointed edge has some softness and squish to it, so that during use, it flutters back and forth like a tiny tongue. What with all the different surfaces and edges on this toy, and the way its vibrations are distributed, it’s very versatile and can please people who like pinpoint clit stimulation as well as something a little broader.

In my hand, the Kip feels substantial enough to seem well-built and high-quality, but light and slight enough to fit easily into my hand during sex or my handbag for sexy outings. It charges magnetically and holds its charge for several sessions. It can stand upright on my nightstand and looks great doing so.

But let’s talk about the motor, since that’s what really matters in a vibrator. The Kip’s motor is wonderful. It rumbles and thrums. It’s satisfying at each of the toy’s 5 steady speeds (I use all 5 regularly). It’s not quite Tango-level, and it can’t exactly compete with your jackhammer-esque wands, but for a vibe of its size and price point ($85!), it’s entirely respectable. Dame came to play, y’all.

It’s even fairly quiet, at least on the bottom three speeds. The top two would likely arouse suspicion if someone else was in the room with you, but certainly couldn’t be heard through a door like many other vibes of this strength.

So here’s the thing: the Tango is only $79, six dollars less than the Kip. If you’re deciding which one of these two toys to buy – which you might reasonably do, given their similarities in quality, size, shape, and price point – you should make your decision based on two key factors: vibrations, and ease of use. The Tango tops out with stronger vibrations than the Kip – but the Kip’s speeds remain consistently rumbly, while the Tango starts to get a little buzzier on its highest speed. As for ease of use, the Tango’s one and only button must be used to cycle through all eight of its patterns and speeds every time you want to switch to a different one, while the Kip’s vibrations can be adjusted much more easily via its up and down buttons.

There are other factors too, of course: the Tango will fit into other toys that have a slot for bullet-sized vibes, while the Kip will not; the Kip has a travel lock, which the Tango does not; the Tango’s tip is narrower and marginally firmer; the Tango’s battery is known to die after a while (I’ve heard anywhere from 1-3 years; mine have typically lasted about 2 years each), while I’ve heard no such rumors about the Kip (yet). It’s a very close call, and honestly I don’t know that I have a strong opinion either way. I’m likely to use both of these vibrators regularly for as long as I own them (and as long as they remain functional).

I hope the MTA finally lets Dame advertise their toys, because more people need to know about the Kip.

 

Thanks to Dame for sending me this vibe to review!

Review: We-Vibe Moxie

Sex toy companies have been trying to make a decent “panty vibe” seemingly since the dawn of time. I don’t know why so many toymakers seem to think that a wearable, Bluetooth-controllable vibrator is the height of fun and sexiness, but they do. So they keep trying, even though many such efforts turn out abysmal.

In my time, I’ve tried the FixSation, the Wake-Up Vibe, the Lelo Noa, and various iterations of the We-Vibe. This category of toy is, at best, mildly amusing, and at worst, uncomfortable and embarrassing. The problem with wearable vibrators is that you generally need to do stuff to vibrators to make them work well for your body – hold them in just the right position, flick through the speeds or patterns, maybe move them around – and wearable vibrators seek to eliminate all that stuff, which (for many people, I’d guess, and for me) isn’t possible without severely compromising on pleasure.

But they keep on tryin’, don’t they?

We-Vibe’s latest offering in this category is the Moxie, a mint-green panty vibe. Here’s what makes it special: the vibe itself goes inside your underwear, as you’d expect, but you anchor it in place with a separate magnetic piece that goes on the outside of your underwear. It’s a fairly strong magnet, so you can basically secure the vibe wherever you want on your vulva – good news for those of us who find that other wearable vibes don’t quite line up with our anatomy, or our preferred vibration placement.

As is par for the course with We-Vibe, the motor in the Moxie is top-notch. It’s rumbly, strong, and offers just enough speeds and patterns. This motor is definitely powerful enough that I could get off with it, though, for reasons outlined below, I haven’t.

The major difference between the Moxie and the We-Vibe Sync, shape-wise, is that the Moxie is only external and has no insertable portion. For this reason, the main difference in how they feel is that the Sync puts pressure on your clit, while the Moxie does not. You can adjust the hinges on the Sync to make the toy fit more tightly or more loosely, depending on the amount of pressure you prefer; with the Moxie, however, any clitoral pressure will have to be provided from the outside, whether by you squeezing your thighs together, physically pressing your hand against the toy, grinding against a partner, or however you want to do that.

A lot of people have been asking me to weigh in on whether the Moxie is worth the $129 price tag, and I think the crux of that question is whether or not you need pressure on your clit. If you don’t, and light vibration on your bits is all you need – and/or if you don’t like penetration – the Moxie will probably work just fine. But if you want penetration and/or you need pressure on your clit, you should get the Sync instead. It works almost identically but will suit you better.

Both toys can be controlled either with an included remote, with the one button on the toy itself, or with We-Vibe’s We-Connect app. My partner and I prefer the app, because it gives you the most granular and intuitive control over the vibrations. But, as ever, the technology’s not quite as good as I wish it was. The vibrator disconnects from the app a lot, and there’s often a delay between adjusting modes on-screen and feeling them change on your bits. After a night out using the Moxie surreptitiously at a cocktail bar, my fastidious Sir announced, “This app isn’t precise enough for my dominance.” He hath spoken.

There is an app called Oui-Vibe which is not strictly We-Vibe-sanctioned, through which you can also control their toys if you want to. The gas-pedal-esque motion is more intuitive than adjusting speeds with your finger on a screen, though the interface is often incomprehensible and there’s still connection issues to contend with.

While I don’t think I would ever have an orgasm with the We-Vibe Moxie unless I was physically pressing it against myself, I do think it’s probably the best “panty vibe” on the market. The motor is eons better than this type of toy usually has, the controls are easy to figure out, and the magnetic clip keeps the toy in place. If you really, really want a vibe you can wear in your underwear and perhaps use in public, the Moxie and Sync are the ones I would recommend. As for me, I’ll be in my bed, kicking back with my Magic Wand.

 

Thanks to We-Vibe for sending me this product to review!