Lelo

I’m Surprised By How Much I Love This Little Lelo Vibe

Kate Sloan
Please excuse any pinkish stains you may see on the toy in these photos; they are not the toy’s fault, I just let it ride around in a makeup bag that had some red lipstick remnants inside it and I am notorious for liking longwear lipsticks that are difficult to remove, haha.

My very first “luxury” sex toy purchase, back when I was a teenager, was the Lelo Nea. I saved up for it for months and was wildly excited when I finally got to take it home from my local feminist sex shop.

Still to this day, the shape of Nea – which is the exact same shape as some of Lelo’s other clitoral vibes, including the Lily – is one of my favorites for clitoral stimulation. I love the way its tip is narrower than its body but not so narrow as to be pointy or uncomfortable. I love the way it curves over my mons and down onto my clit, seeming to fit seamlessly against my vulva whether I’m using it solo or during penetrative sex. I love that it’s small enough to be thrown into my toiletries bag when I travel but not so small that I’m likely to lose it.

But the original Nea didn’t really deliver in terms of vibration strength or rumbliness, which is why I was so excited to be offered the Lelo Lily 3. It’s everything I loved about the Nea, but with a noticeably better motor. And as I’ve written before, the motor matters more than any other trait of a vibrator, so this makes a huge difference.

When I’m at home and I want to get off, I almost always use the Eroscillator or a wand vibe like the Magic Wand Rechargeable or Fun Factory Vim. All of these are strong and dependable, both in the sense of “being dependably able to make me come” and in the sense of “dependably not dying mid-use” – the Eroscillator plugs into an electrical outlet, the Vim has an impressively long battery life before needing to be recharged, and the MWR can be used while it’s charging, should it come to that.

Now, comparatively, the Lily 3 isn’t that great – it has a battery life of about 2 hours – but I bring this up only to say that it’s hard for me to find a rechargeable, travel-friendly vibe that I trust enough to bring with me on a trip, especially a trip where suitcase space is limited. The We-Vibe Tango X is my favorite one in this category, for many reasons, but the Lily 3 has worked its way onto my list of acceptable options, which is hard to do. In fact, at this point I’ve brought it with me as my only vibe for many overnight stays (e.g. when I go over to my parents’ house to visit them and anticipate having phone sex with my spouse when I go to bed), and it has never once disappointed me or made me wish I’d brought a different vibe.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that it’s super-powerful. If you’re used to wands or similar, this almost certainly won’t be enough for you. But what I find enjoyable is its rumbliness, which it maintains throughout its 10 vibration intensities. The smooth ABS plastic translates the vibrations well, which helps, too. I think another thing that makes this vibe so successful for me is one of the few things Lelo has always excelled at: this toy starts at a very low intensity and works its way up to a much higher one. This ultimately results in less desensitization over the course of a session, so that I don’t require as much power to get off and can feel the orgasm more vividly when it does happen. It’s a small thing that makes a big difference.

The Lily 3 is also very quiet, and is waterproof, meaning it’s ideal for surreptitious/discreet play or masturbating in the bath or shower, and is even the kind of thing I’d bring with me to my local sex club if I hoped to get up to some shenanigans in the swimming pool there.

The button layout is easy to understand, a relic from a simpler time in the sex toy industry: the button on the right turns up the vibration intensity if you press or hold it, and the one on the left turns it down. You can switch between its 10 vibration patterns by quickly double-pressing the right-side button, and you can adjust the intensity of any pattern, which is a great feature that always makes me way more likely to actually use patterns instead of just sticking with the steady vibration mode like I normally do. The patterns are good, as far as patterns go – some are too slow for my tastes, but many are steadily rhythmic and can feel really good.

Lelo has made a lot of missteps in their time, and one of them is that they tend to overcomplicate things, making vibrators that have a bunch of unnecessary bells and whistles that no one asked for. (I have been trying, and failing, to enjoy the new Lelo Dot Cruise, for example, in large part because of its “Cruise” function which is still inconsistent and terrible, despite the fact that the toy costs fucking $200.)

But the Lelo Lily 3 only costs $76, and it bucks that trend. It’s what Lelo does best: a simple, elegant, ergonomic vibrator with a wide array of settings, a respectable motor, and a luxurious “it factor” that makes you feel fancy and deliciously self-indulgent just for using it. It’s my favorite thing Lelo has put out since the Sila, their wide-mouthed pressure-wave toy that I adore.

It’s not earthshatteringly powerful or terribly unique. It doesn’t attempt to innovate or defy expectations. The Lelo Lily 3 is just a damn good clitoral vibrator, and writing this review has made me want to use it again, which is a good sign in and of itself.

 

Lelo didn’t pay me to write this review, they just sent me the product and I liked it. You know the drill: as always, all writing and opinions are my own.

The Lelo Sila is My Favorite Clit Pulsator Toy; the Lelo Sila Cruise is Not

Kate Sloan

I’m enamored with the Lelo Sila. It bears the label of “my favorite clit pulsator toy,” which is a tough label to earn. It’s also earned a spot in the top drawer of my nightstand. I mentioned it in an interview just today, actually, when someone asked me what toys I’ve been loving lately. This luxe stimulator is top-tier, as far as I’m concerned.

But Lelo is a company known for their terrible, gimmicky “innovations,” and in keeping with that, they recently introduced a new version of the Sila called the Sila Cruise. I dislike it so much that I’m not even gonna link to it. Buy the original Sila instead.

What’s so great about the Lelo Sila?

Most clit pulsators – think Womanizers and Satisfyers – focus predominantly on the tip of the clit. The Sila is the only one I’ve found that stimulates my entire external clit: the tip, the shaft, and the hood. This makes it an especially good pick for folks with larger clits and/or transmasculine folks with bottom growth, or just folks who like a roomier fit.

The Sila’s wide, flat “lips” help create a better seal around the clit than almost any other pressure-wave stimulator I’ve tried. They also conduct the Sila’s sensations through the skin and into the buried “legs” of the internal clit.

As a result of all this, the Sila provides more full-bodied clitoral sensations than any other toy I’ve tried of this type. It is a toy that puts all of its focus – and it has a lot of focus – on the clit. So, as a big fan of clitoral stimulation – especially the kinds that go past just the sensitive tip of my clit – I love this toy.

It also has a “rumblier” feel than many other pressure-wave toys, meaning each little airwave feels lower-pitched and more impactful. This significantly reduces any numbness or desensitization I might experience from using a clitoral toy for a while. Its stimulation is so rumbly, and yet so indirect, that I can have multiple orgasms with this toy – not something I’m usually capable of, at least not this easily.

The quality of the orgasms is much improved for me as well, because this toy stimulates much more of my clit than any other pressure-wave toy. Other toys of this type have sometimes given me ruined half-orgasms, or have stimulated me so intensely during orgasm that the experience was more painful than pleasurable; not so with this toy. The Lelo Sila gives me deep, intense, long-lasting, and often quite sudden orgasms that leave me speechless and panting.

What’s the difference between the Sila and the Sila Cruise?

So far as I can tell, the only addition to the Cruise is a “feature” known as Cruise Control. Lelo says that Cruise Control “reserves 20% of SILA™ Cruise’s full power during normal use, so that when SILA™ Cruise is pressed hard against the body and the motor begins to drop power, that extra 20% is unleashed so that there’s no reduction of intensity” before and during your orgasm.

There are… multiple issues with this. One is that I have never personally experienced my Sila slowing down or fading in power from the amount of pressure I’ve applied to it. It’s just not an issue I’ve encountered. So it’s kind of confusing that Lelo went to the trouble of launching a new version of their own toy, to solve a problem that (in my experience, anyway) the toy doesn’t even have.

Another issue is that not everyone wants maximal power right before or during their orgasm, and it’s weird to assume that they would. One of the beautiful things about Lelo toys is that they always have at least 8 different speeds, so they can satisfy a broad range of users, from super-sensitive folks to those who need more stimulation to get them off. The freedom to adjust sex toys to my own preferred intensity at any given moment is key to my pleasure. In fact, I would say it’s a mandatory feature of any vibe I’ll enjoy, and certainly a standard feature to expect on any toy that costs more than $15. Lelo has taken that freedom away from me with the Cruise – as they say, “it’s not a setting, it’s completely automatic,” so I can’t even turn it off and use the Sila Cruise normally without Cruise Control.

The third and most pressing issue I have with Cruise Control is that it doesn’t even do what it’s supposed to do. The boost in intensity doesn’t kick in when I press the toy harder against my body. No, instead it kicks in… whenever the hell it wants to. Often at a moment in my arousal process when I really, really wish my clit stimulator would stay at the exact same intensity so that I can, y’know, continue to feel good and build toward an orgasm, rather than having said orgasm be thwarted by an inconsistent toy.

It’s really a boner-killer when this happens, because the intensity that Cruise Control brings to the table is aggressive, especially if you’re accustomed to a lower speed – so my clit can get overstimulated to the point that a bruisey, ouchy sensation will linger for several minutes afterward. This is antithetical to the gentle, slow build that I appreciated about the original Sila.

The Sila Cruise is $189, whereas the original Lelo Sila is $169. They’re both definitely in the “luxury sex toy” price range, but the Sila Cruise is absolutely not worth that amount of money, because you can’t even control the damn intensity of it. It just jumps around randomly. It might as well be a poorly-wired $6.99 body massager from the Walmart bargain bin for how unreliable it is. I truly have no idea what on earth made Lelo think it was a good idea to not only make this toy but also to charge twenty extra dollars for it.

Final words

If you want full-bodied clitoral sensations that encompass your entire external clit and even stimulate some of the inner portions, you want the Lelo Sila. But you do not want the Lelo Sila Cruise, because you, presumably, do not want your orgasms ruined or your clit pummelled.

The Sila Cruise is not a “new and improved” version of the Sila. If anything, it is a “new and worsened” version of the Sila. It is “new and useless.” It is “new and painful.” It is “new and what the actual fuck.” But it is certainly not “new and improved.”

 

Thanks to Lelo for sending me these products to try! I really do mean it when I say that I love the original Sila and highly recommend it. But don’t get the Cruise. Just don’t.

12 Days of Girly Juice 2021: 9 Best New Sex Toys

Kate Sloan

Well, it’s that time again: today I’m going to tell you about my favorite 9 sex toys I acquired this year! In reverse order, here we go…

 

Image via SheVibe

9. Chakrubs The Original Heart rose quartz dildo

Available at SheVibe ($159.99)

I was sent this toy by the good folks at SheVibe as part of my research for an article I wrote for them on dildo materials other than silicone. In perusing their site, I realized that I’d tried almost all of these materials – glass, metal, ceramic – but had yet to try one of these crystal dildos, which are beloved by the Goop crowd, among others. This one is made of rose quartz, which is believed (by people who believe in such things) to help cultivate self-love and self-compassion, something I could definitely use some help with from time to time.

To my surprise, I ended up really enjoying this toy. The smooth shape of it makes it feel luxurious and gentle when well-lubed, even if I’m not super turned on yet. The slim end can nudge my A-spot on every thrust. The girth is satisfying but not overpowering. And the cool, smooth feeling of the rose quartz is soothing and calming, as you would hope a dildo oriented toward spiritual self-love would be.

There’s some debate in the sex toy community about whether crystal dildos are actually any good (it has been posited that they are porous and also bad for the environment). I don’t know enough about the material and its harvesting process to make a fair assessment of that, but I know I haven’t had any vaginal issues from using my Chakrubs toy. It’s definitely not something I reach for every week or even every month, but when I’m craving a woo-woo experience that’s focused on self-adoration, this is the toy for the job.

 

Image via Lovense

8. Lovense Max 2 stroker

Available at Lovense ($99.00)

I had heard about Lovense for years because of their toys’ proliferation in the webcam performer community, but this year I finally got to try some for myself, as research for various articles on long-distance toys.

The Max 2 is their vibrating stroker, and it does some wild stuff. It pairs a textured sleeve with powerful vibrations, and on top of that, it can also mimic vaginal contractions by rhythmically squeezing your dick while it’s in there.

Best of all, it can be used with Lovense’s robust and reliable Bluetooth technology, so I can control a long-distance partner’s pleasure from far away. My spouse and I used this toy a lot this year while we were separated by distance, but also sometimes when we weren’t, because the interface on Lovense’s app allows me to stroke their cock the way I want to without actually using my hands – something I appreciate as a person who deals with pain and strength issues in my hands at times.

My partner often has super intense orgasms with this toy. We’ve found the Max 2 particularly fun to use as part of chastity play – it’s a wonderful way to give them the release they’ve earned after a week or more in chastity. But it’s also just a fantastic stroker for day-to-day usage. Well done, Lovense!

 

7. Balldo

Available at SheVibe ($79.00)

As I noted in my review, the Balldo really surprised me. I mean, it’s a silicone apparatus that slips over your balls and turns them into a dildo you can fuck someone with. How good could it really be?

Pretty good, it turns out. And certainly unique. While getting it on is a struggle, and it’s prone to slipping out once you actually get it into somebody, it works so well for us when it’s working. My partner’s able to achieve the “ballgasms” promised by the toy, and I’m able to enjoy the utter weirdness of the whole situation, alongside the hotness of seeing/hearing/feeling my partner experiencing a whole new type of pleasure.

If you’re dating/fucking someone who is open to adventure and has a good sense of humor, I think this could be a good gift for them. Or at least a gift they won’t soon forget.

 

Image via SheVibe

6. Dee Lee Doo Boa wenge hardwood dildo

Available at SheVibe ($139.00)

This is a newer acquisition for me, and I’m loving it so far. There just aren’t that many companies out there making body-safe wooden sex toys (NobEssence is the most notable one), so I’m always glad to see new makers popping up on the scene.

I picked this toy over another Dee Lee Doo toy (the G-spot-focused Habu) because I thought it’d be able to hit my A-spot, and I was right. The length and shape of this toy are absolutely perfect for hitting that spot, whether I’m handling it myself or giving control over to a partner.

I like that wood is such a lightweight material, because it’s still easy for me to manipulate when I’m having a flare-up of pain or fatigue. It’s also hard without being overwhelmingly hard like metal and glass can be, making it an especially good pick for hitting a spot that simultaneously craves firm pressure and needs some gentleness. I hope to see more from this company in the new year!

 

Image via the London Tanners

5. The London Tanners Domestic Discipline Strap

Available at the London Tanners (€119.00 or about $134 USD)

My partner bought me this gorgeous leather strap as a gift after we saw spanking aficionado Princess Kelley May rave about it in a video. I don’t think I’d ever been spanked with a strap before, and it’s been wonderful getting to know that new sensation!

This is such a stunning product, “hand-crafted from beginning to end” by expert leatherworkers. I love the way it feels, both in my hand and on my ass.

As Kelley May points out in the video linked above, this strap is initially somewhat firm and inflexible but will soften with use. Right now, mine is still in the firm stage, so it feels more like a leather paddle – stingy with a side of thud. I’m looking forward to feeling what it feels like when it’s softened up a bit.

 

Image via Lovense

4. Lovense Edge 2 prostate massager

Available at Lovense ($99.00)

Another Lovense toy?! Yep, they really are that good.

This is another one that gets used exclusively on my partner and not on me – but I love using it on them! It’s a vibrating butt plug with two motors: one for the prostate and one for the perineum. Like the Max 2 above, it can be controlled from a distance using Lovense’s excellent app. Notably, you can control each of the motors separately, which makes it great for (as its name would suggest) edging.

This one is tons of fun to use when my partner is in chastity, because I can give them prostate orgasms even while their cock is in a chastity cage, and even when I’m 500 miles away. Truly amazing.

 

Image via the Pleasure Tailor

3. Easy A dildo

Available from the Pleasure Tailor ($125.00)

What, you thought I wasn’t gonna include the dildo I designed on this list?! Not a chance.

Obviously I love the Easy A because it was designed to meet my needs, as someone who adores deep penetration and also has hand strength issues that benefit from ergonomic sex toy bases. But I really think a lot of people would like this toy. The squishiness of the triple-density silicone is delightful, the bright blue color is swoonworthy, and the shape! Oh, the shape! It’s just exactly what I want an A-spot toy to be shaped like.

I remember the jubilation I felt when I discovered that the deep spot that reliably made me come had a name – and, more importantly, that there were sex toys out there (albeit not very many of them) that could target it efficiently and pleasurably. I’m so glad to have partnered with the folks at the Pleasure Tailor to create an addition to the scant-but-growing selection of A-spot toys on the market!

 

Image via SheVibe

2. We-Vibe Tango X bullet vibrator

Available at SheVibe ($75.05), Peepshow Toys ($79.00), and Come As You Are ($99.00 CAD / about $78 USD)

I get excited every time We-Vibe comes out with a new product, because they are truly one of the best companies in this industry right now. Their toys are well-made, aesthetically pleasing, and (best and most importantly of all) have legendarily good motors.

I was especially excited that they decided to update their classic bullet vibe, the Tango, of which I’d been a long-time fan. This new version, the Tango X, is a massive improvement. It has more speeds, easier charging, a travel lock, a silicone finger grip, and just overall feels like a nicer, better toy than the original Tango.

Since it’s pleasantly rumbly and relatively affordable for a rechargeable vibe of its caliber, this is one of my top recommendations for beginners who are curious about vibrators but don’t know where to start. If you like clitoral/external stimulation, you’d probably like this toy. I certainly do!

 

Image via SheVibe

1. Lelo Sila

Available at SheVibe ($169.00) and Peepshow Toys ($169.99)

When I first received this toy, I did not expect that it would end up becoming one of my favorite toys of the year, and possibly my favorite pressure-wave toy of all time. Lelo is a company known for doing shocking things, often in a bad way – but this toy shocked me in a very good way.

As far as oral sex simulators go, this is the only one I’ve found that encases not just the tip of my clit but also my entire clitoral shaft, an oft-ignored part of clitoral anatomy. It’s like the difference between a tongue swirling around the head of a dick and a full-on deepthroat blowjob. (For that reason, it’s also potentially great for trans men and other transmasculine folks, aside from the twee/feminine-leaning color scheme.)

This toy sets itself apart from other pressure-wave products with its soft aesthetic and thoughtful design (especially those flat “lips,” which help the toy create a good seal around my clit). It’s elegant and well-made. It’s waterproof, so I can take it in the tub for a relaxing wank, featuring oral sex fantasies galore. It’s the one pressure-wave toy I would take with me on a desert island, if for some reason I had to do that. It’s just really damn good and I’m glad I own one.

 

What sex toys did you love most this year?

 

P.S.: Thanks for buying through my affiliate links! When you do so, I get a small commission at no extra cost to you. It’s basically like tipping me for providing such excellent recommendations 😉

Review: Lelo Enigma

Kate Sloan

I never know what to expect when a new Lelo toy launches.

Will it be a cissexist and elitist nightmare, like the Pino, their “cock ring for bankers”? Will it be a baffling controversy, like their decision to hire a known domestic abuser as the spokesman for their infamously structurally unsound condoms? Will it injure people’s clits, like their Sona? Or will it be good?

Lelo toys really are a crapshoot these days. For every new one that I like, there tends to be at least one new release that I’m… substantially less fond of. So you can see why I was intrigued by, but simultaneously wary of, their new dual-stimulation toy, the Enigma. My friends at Mindful were kind enough to send me one, and I put it to the test.

 

The Enigma is one of Lelo’s most visually appealing toys in years. It doesn’t look like a Super Mario character or something from Christian Grey’s nightstand; it comes in black or a deep shade of rose, and both colorways have a panel of iridescent pink/purple plating that lends the toy a nifty space-age aesthetic.

The Enigma is Lelo’s attempt at a category of toy that seems popular these days: pressure-wave stimulation focused on the clit, paired with an internal arm that vibrates against the G-spot. This combination is purported to help create blended orgasms through stimulation of the entire clitoris, internal and external. I’m a big fan of holistic clit stim (as opposed to stimulation that focuses only on the tip or visible portion of the clit), so I was curious how well this toy would work for me.

As with many dual-stimulation toys, you can’t easily use the Enigma’s two parts separately. If, for example, you wanted to warm yourself up with clitoral stimulation before inserting the G-spot portion of the toy, you could tuck the vibrating part between your legs to get it out of the way while the toy’s “mouth” attended to your clit, but in that position the vibrating arm starts to stray into butt territory, which you may or may not want. I found I was able to flip the toy around the other way, so that the vibrating arm presses into my external G-spot, which feels nice while I’m getting myself turned on – but if you’re looking for a toy that can be either a clit stimulator or a G-spot vibrator, you’ll have to look elsewhere, because this one is unavoidably both at once.

Part of the annoyance in trying to use the toy’s functions separately is that they can’t be controlled separately. When the toy is on, both of its functions are on; when you turn up the intensity on one, you’re turning it up on the other simultaneously. I’m not a fan of dual-stim toys that work this way, because I often find myself wanting (for example) gentle clit stimulation coupled with more intense G-spot vibration, or I may at times prefer patterns on my G-spot and steady sensation on my clit.

It’s annoying that a toy retailing for $189 doesn’t have the fairly common feature of allowing each of its functions to be controlled independently. Part of me wonders if this choice was actually made in order to keep the cost down – Lelo’s other dual-stimulation toys retail for as much as $249 – but, frankly, other sex toy companies have been able to implement this feature at lower price points, so I don’t think that’s much of an excuse. (The We-Vibe Nova 2 costs $149. I’ve seen vibes as cheap as $40 that had this feature.)

 

But aside from that main gripe, I don’t have many bad things to say about the Enigma. Using it for the first time, I immediately noticed that it seemed better-designed than many other Lelo toys in terms of how it fits human anatomy (mine, anyway). The flexible neck allows for a greater variability of distance between a user’s clit and vaginal opening, and the G-spot arm is curved such that it finds my spot with hardly any finagling.

The “mouth” on the clitoral portion isn’t as generously-sized as that of my favorite Lelo pressure-wave toy, the Sila, but it’s still large enough that I didn’t feel like it was over-focusing on the sensitive tip of my clit like these types of toys often do. I wish its “lips” were more rounded-off or flat, though, rather than having an abrupt edge that sometimes feels slightly uncomfortable against my delicate clit.

For me, the Enigma delivered the blended orgasms it promised. It’s powerful and rumbly enough that I never wondered if I’d be able to achieve orgasm with it; I knew from the start that I would, which is rare for me when testing new toys. Once it’s anchored in place against my clit and G-spot, the Enigma stays put pretty well even when used hands-free; I can get off with it easily with some well-timed pelvic clenches and some potent sexual fantasies or porn to excite my mind.

The toy has various patterns, and you can control the intensity of each pattern. I’m normally not much of a patterns fan but these ones are acceptable – there’s not much space in between the pulses and waves, so they actually build my arousal rather than stopping it cold. Patterned vibrations on my G-spot also create the sensation of movement, making the Enigma’s relatively small G-spot arm feel ever-so-slightly more like a cock is fucking me.

My orgasms with this toy are similar to the ones I experience with most pressure-wave toys – sometimes almost painfully intense, but sometimes more in the neighborhood of “wait, was that an orgasm?” However, the addition of G-spot vibration makes the latter type less frequent for me. Orgasms with this toy are satisfying, but the sensation is quite odd if you’re not used to it (and even sometimes if you are). This is why I tend to recommend people try a cheaper a pressure-wave toy, like the Satisfyer Pro 2, before deciding if they want a fancier one.

 

The Lelo Enigma is waterproof and well-constructed. Its control panel is easy to understand, except that it sometimes takes more than one press of a button to get it to actually do anything (a common problem with Lelo toys). It’s a gorgeous, high-quality toy that mostly lives up to its high price point – except for not being able to control the components separately from one another.

If you’re looking for a dual-stim toy that combines pressure waves with G-spot vibration, I think it’s hard to go past the Enigma. I’ve tried several toys in this category over the past year or two and this is definitely the nicest, rumbliest, and most pleasurable one I’ve tried. That doesn’t necessarily mean it’ll work for you, because pressure-wave toys are odd and dual-stimulation toys are notoriously anatomy-dependent – but I think it’s relatively unparalleled in its category.

I don’t know what mystery the Enigma’s name refers to, but it’s solved at least one: the mystery of why Lelo is still such a popular sex toy brand, despite all their various missteps. Quite simply, they make good toys… occasionally.

 

Thanks to my friends at Mindful for sending me this product to try! This post was sponsored, meaning that I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Reviews: We-Vibe Tango X, Satisfyer Curvy 3+, & Lelo Smart Wand 2

Kate Sloan

I was sent these three toys recently while researching some pieces for the Insider about the best sex toys for couples and long-distance play. Here’s what I thought of each!

We-Vibe Tango X

I’ve long been loud about how much I love the original We-Vibe Tango. It has most of the qualities I’d ever want in a clitoral vibe: small, rumbly, powerful, firm, versatile, quiet, and waterproof. But it was missing a few key features – namely, it lacked a travel lock, had only one button you had to use to scroll through all 8 modes, and had a notoriously bad battery that was finicky as hell to charge and would tend to die completely after 1-3 years of use. Hence me owning several Tangos in my time.

The new Tango X has fixed all of those issues: We-Vibe added buttons for navigating between settings, provided a travel-lock option, and equipped the toy with a better battery that charges more easily. They also added an ergonomic silicone finger grip, something I hadn’t known I wanted but that makes the toy a lot easier for me to use on bad hand pain days.

The vibe is just as rumbly and strong as it ever was, albeit with more steady vibration settings to choose from so the jumps between settings don’t feel as abrupt as they used to. The addition of extra buttons, in particular, makes this toy much less annoying to use during partnered sex, because I don’t have to scroll through aaaaall the settings to get back to my fave, thus interrupting the action with some ill-timed vibration patterns. I’ve used the Tango X with my partner several times now and it is even more intuitive and well-suited to partnered-sex applications than it used to be, plus it remains a trusted choice for masturbation, whether I’m pairing it with a dildo or using the Tango X on its own.

I find it impressive that We-Vibe managed to keep the Tango X relatively affordable – $75 at time of writing – despite all these upgrades. (Canadians, that’s about $99 for us.) It remains an absolute staple in my toy collection, and because it has such rumbly and variable vibrations, I think it’d make a great gift for any vulva-possessing person in your life who has expressed wanting a clitoral vibrator but doesn’t quite know what to look for. Bravo, We-Vibe – bravo!

Satisfyer Curvy 3+

This ultra-sleek pressure-wave toy looks to me like something a grown-up Regina George might use. It’s cool, modern, and ergonomic as hell.

I was interested in the Curvy 3+ because Satisfyer gave me its predecessor, the Curvy 2+, back at ANME, and I loved it more than I expected to. The softly rounded edges of the “mouth” made it more comfortable around my clit than a lot of its pointier-edged counterparts, it had a broad range of settings and patterns, and its shape and matte silicone made it easy to hold onto, even when lube got involved. The “handle” end also vibrates and is insertable, incase you want to switch back and forth between clit stimulation and G-spot vibration – great if you’re travelling and don’t have access to other toys, I guess – but I didn’t end up using that feature much because, well, I own many, many dildos that feel better than the Curvy 2+’s handle.

That said, after trying the updated 3+ version, I actually prefer the earlier one! The 3+ has a flatter design that feels less sexy and more clinical in my hand somehow, and consequently its insertable end is also slimmer and less satisfying; it pokes my G-spot rather than filling me up. Most crucially, the “mouth” of the 3+ is smaller, shallower, and has less rounded-off edges, whereas the 2+ has a mouth that’s a good 0.1″ wider and 0.2″ deeper – which may not sound like much, but can make a big difference for a clitoral pressure-wave toy. I can fit a significant amount of my hooded clit into the Curvy 2+, but pretty much only the tip will comfortably fit into the 3+ and generally I have to pull back my hood a bit (yowch!) to even accomplish that much. The 2+’s mouth also has those gently rounded edges that make it much comfier to use, even when I’m pressing the toy firmly against my body.

Satisfyer’s app functionality is worth mentioning here, because it’s really fucking good. Like Lovense toys, Satisfyer toys connect quickly to their corresponding app and are super responsive when you’re controlling them that way. My partner and I have found my Satisfyer Curvy 2+ useful when we’re 500 miles apart but they want to “go down on me”; short of hiring a cunnilingually gifted sex worker and whispering instructions into their ear via audio call, the Satisfyer app is the closest my partner can get to performing oral on me when they can’t actually put their mouth on me.

While I’m sure some people will appreciate the aesthetic updates and functional differences of the Satisfyer Curvy 3+ versus its predecessors in the Curvy line, it’s the Curvy 2+ that has captured my heart (and my clit’s heart, if it had one), and that’s the one I’ll be reaching for more often in the future.

Lelo Smart Wand 2

Obligatory caveats about Lelo: ethically, they are… not great. They hired a domestic abuser as their spokesperson despite abuse survivors’ outcries against this, produced condoms that seem like a health hazard, sued We-Vibe in a vindictive act of patent-trolling, and released a sex toy excusively for male bankers (????), among other things.

While I do think their products have had a sharp decline in quality over the past decade or so, their Smart Wand line is a rare diamond in the rough, IMO – albeit with some problems of its own. I loved my original Smart Wand, although later it betrayed me by dying after only a year. No matter what I did to try to recharge and revive it, it was simply dead, dead, dead. I was just outside of Lelo’s 1-year warranty period so the best they would’ve done for me is provide me with a 50% discount code to buy another one, which – given how quickly the first one had perished – seemed risky and futile.

When I was at ANME in early 2020, I saw a new version of the Smart Wand on display which was bright turquoise (or “aqua,” according to Lelo). This exact shade is one of my favorite colors ever – in fact, I’m currently typing on a computer whose hard-shell case and keyboard cover are both the same color as my Smart Wand 2 – so I ached for it on those grounds alone. Later I asked Lelo for one, and it is just as glorious a hue as I remembered.

I’m not actually sure what’s different about the Smart Wand 2 versus the original Smart Wand; it’s been too long for me to remember and Lelo’s product copy is annoyingly unclear on this point. I do know that a lot of people reported mechanical issues with the original Smart Wand, most notably that sometimes the vibrations would jump around erratically, suddenly ramping up to a high setting or dropping to a low setting without users’ consent. This glitch was mostly reported as happening on the toy’s highest settings – and unfortunately, some reviewers say the Smart Wand 2 has the same issue.

I personally haven’t experienced this glitch, and didn’t experience it with the original Smart Wand, which suggests to me that maybe I use this vibe differently than the folks who noticed this problem. Pressure is often a culprit when vibes glitch out, but I’ve experimented with various amounts of pressure while using the Smart Wand 2 and still haven’t encountered that particular glitch (though I do notice that the vibe tends to get a bit weaker when you press it into your body, as often happens with vibrators). 🤷🏻‍♀️ Your mileage may vary, and purchase at your own risk!

I actually kind of love the Smart Wand 2, I’m somewhat ashamed to say. It’s gorgeous, smooth, and glamorous. Its handle has an ergonomic curved shape that I find useful when I massage my neck and shoulders with it. It’s reasonably quiet for a wand vibe, especially on the lower end of its intensity levels, and gets very strong and rumbly when you want it to. It’s also 100% waterproof, something that used to not matter as much to me in wand vibes but that matters enormously to me now that I live with chronic pain and thus do some of my best relaxin’ and wankin’ in the tub.

But despite all its glamour and strength, the Smart Wand 2 does have some problems. The buttons annoy me at least once every time I use it; Lelo has a bad habit of designing toys with buttons that somehow seem both oversensitive and undersensitive, sometimes requiring multiple presses to go to the next setting and sometimes skipping a few settings with just one press. I also find that the “+,” “–,” and “pattern” buttons are pretty indiscernible from one another when you’ve got your eyes closed or are using the toy in the dark, so I’ve accidentally started a vibration pattern many times when I meant to hit the “+” button instead, potentially ruining or losing my impending orgasm.

I’m also not especially fond of the rounded head. It works well for muscle massage, but one of the reasons I love my Magic Wand Rechargeable is that it has a more squarish shape so I can use its head’s edges/”corners” to produce a more focused, pinpointed sensation on my clit than the broad roundness the Smart Wand 2 allows for. However, if you like all-over vulva vibration, that won’t be an issue for you.

The Lelo Smart Wand 2 costs a whopping $199, and as stunning and seductive as it is, I don’t think it’s really worth that amount of money, especially when you can get a more dependable Magic Wand Rechargeable for just $130, or We-Vibe’s Wand (which is fully waterproof like the Smart Wand) for $170. The Smart Wand 2 reminds me of a beautiful but erratic socialite – and while that kind of person is fun to spend a night with once in a while, generally I’d rather come home to a reliable sweetheart like my Magic Wand.

 

Thanks to We-Vibe, Satisfyer, and Lelo for sending me these toys to try! Have you used any of these? What did you think?