Sex Toy Reviews

12 Days of Girly Juice 2018: 9 Best New Sex Toys

Kate Sloan

Today is one of the most exciting instalments of 12 Days of Girly Juice: I’m picking my top 9 favorite sex toys I acquired within the past year! These toys stood out from the slush pile, and are worth hyping up. Let’s start from the bottom of the list…

9. Liberator Axis. I already have plenty of Liberator products so I wasn’t expecting this one to change my life too much, but it turns out I don’t have anything quite like it. For something that seems so simple – it’s essentially a slanted piece of firm foam you can stick your Magic Wand into – it has many exciting uses. From spanking to doggie-style sex to jerking off with my head buried in a pillow, I’ve enjoyed each and every way I’ve used this neat little accessory. (Available at SheVibe, Peepshow, and the Smitten Kitten.)

8. Kronic Sensations turquoise and pink flogger. I hemmed and hawed over whether to get this when I saw it at Kink, because… how many impact toys does a girl actually need?! But after both a friend and my boyfriend said “You have to get that,” I succumbed, and I’m glad I did. It’s made of thick, heavy suede in my two favorite colors, it looks great hanging in my room, and it provides a reliably thuddy thwack that satisfies me as both a top and a bottom. Ya nailed it, Kronic Sensations geniuses. (Similar floggers available via the maker.)

7. Funkit Toys NoFrillDo B. I bought this late last year; I remember that I trekked home after the exhausting New York trip where I first met my Sir, and my new NoFrillDo was waiting for me when I arrived. I took a bath with it, and shortly thereafter, it became the first toy I ever used while sexting with my Sir – so it holds a special place in my heart! But beyond sentimental value, this is a sturdy silicone workhouse of a dildo that strokes my G-spot with precision and is girthy enough to feel really good when my vag clenches around it. (Available at SheVibe, Peepshow, and direct from Funkit Toys.)

6. We-Vibe Anniversary Collection. I only received this recently but it’s already one of my fave acquisitions of the year. It contains sparkly purple versions of what I think are We-Vibe’s two best vibrators – the Tango and the Sync – packaged in a travel-friendly carrying case that doubles as the toys’ charger. These vibes have thrillingly rumbly motors and look and feel beautiful in use. Thanks, We-Vibe! (Available at SheVibe and Peepshow.)

5. Viktoria Torments leather-wrapped baton. I bought this at a tradeshow late last year and it’s become one of my favorite impact toys. It’s possibly the thuddiest implement I own, and – uncharacteristically for this type of toy, in my experience – it also bruises nicely. If you ever want a stingy sensation at a moment’s notice, you can also flip the toy around and hit someone with the smooth wooden handle. What a dream! (Available at Kink.)

4. Neon Wand. I figured, before I tried electrostimulation, that I’d either love it or hate it; the reality is somewhere in between. Judged purely on its immediate physical sensations, it’s not my favorite type of pain – but it undeniably takes me down into subspace more quickly and effectively than lots of other sadomasochistic activities. Perhaps because I don’t fully understand it and thus am always slightly scared of it, it brings me into a helpless headspace with alarming efficiency. My sadistic boyfriend loves this, of course. (Available at SheVibe and Come As You Are.)

3. Doxy #3. As with many Doxy products, this one has some mechanical problems, which I outlined in my review and which have actually led to many shops ceasing to stock this wand. But I’ve basically learned to work around these issues, as one does with a beloved cardigan that’s missing a button or a TV that only works when its antenna is contorted just so. This miniature wand vibe’s travel-friendly stature and thrumming motor have made it a favorite companion when I travel to see my boyfriend. It’s also one of the first gifts he ever got me – an impromptu Christmas gift, a mere 12 days after we met – so I love it for that reason, too. Thanks, Sir. (Available at SheVibe.)

2. Uberrime Night King. My pals at Peepshow Toys sent this to me and I love it way more than I was expecting it to. It’s long enough to target my A-spot astonishingly well, and the shape is dick-like enough to allow me to fantasize about cocks but still has all that unique texture to keep things interesting. My Sir says I make good noises when I use this toy! Review to come in the new year… (Available at Peepshow.)

1. Weal & Breech purpleheart truncheon. Whoops, my #1 sex toy of the year is an impact toy; guess I’m kinky! I bought this at the Playground Conference in February, at my Sir’s behest, and it became a near-instant fave. The hefty wood feels thuddy, but the smooth finish gives it some sting, too. It’s easy to swing, and looks sexy as hell. I’m so looking forward to seeing what Weal & Breech come up with next – and hopefully trying one of their butt-punching mallets! (Similar products available at Come As You Are and from Weal & Breech directly.)

What toys did you love most this year?

Upgrade Your Magic Wand With These Neat Accessories

Kate Sloan

The Magic Wand – formerly produced under the Hitachi name, now still manufactured by Hitachi but distributed and branded by Vibratex – is, it must be said, a legend. You know a sex toy has truly reached “indispensable” status when other companies start making accessories to go with it! I don’t know very many other toys besides the Magic Wand for which that has happened.

The lovely folks at Betty’s Toy Box sent me a couple of Magic Wand accessories recently, and I wanted to talk about them and some of their many uses!

The Wand Assist Adjustable Gooseneck Hands-Free Wand Holder (phew, what a mouthful!) is a clamp designed to hold your wand for you so you can use it without clutching onto it for dear life. Straight out of the box, it requires assembly, but my boyfriend was able to figure it out pretty quickly (naked, I might add). It comes with two differently-sized ends, so you can use it with bigger wands or smaller ones. The other end can be affixed to “any flat, appropriately-sized edge,” like the side of a desk or chair. It’s a simple but surprisingly versatile product, and I’m glad to own it! Here are a few potential uses for this wand holder…

• First and foremost, it’s crucial to note how useful this product could be for disabled folks, or anyone with mobility or strength issues that make it difficult to hold onto a wand. Even I, with my occasional and relatively mild chronic pain issues in my joints, sometimes don’t love having to grip a vibe in my sore fingers, keeping my sore wrists and elbows bent, while I jerk off. With a clamp like this, masturbation can become a “set it and forget it” activity. Hallelujah!

• As we’ve discussed before, wand vibes are an ideal prop for forced-orgasm scenes, and this clamp could take that to the next level. Imagine tying your sub to a chair and then lowering a buzzing wand onto their bits so you can watch them squirm and scream. You could even (with proper safety precautions and measures for monitoring ongoing consent) leave the room for a bit, and the wand would keep on truckin’. Amaze.

• I think this clamp would be brilliant for hypnokink scenes. You could stick your sub in front of a spiral gif on a screen and mutter inductions and deepeners in their ear while a wand buzzed faithfully on their bits. It can take a lot of coordination to get someone off with sex toys while also getting inside their head; this clamp could do some of that work for you, allowing you to focus fully on trancing your blank little toy.

• No post about wand vibes on this blog would be complete without a mention of lazy masturbation. (#LazyLyfe 4everrr!) Set up your wand in this clamp, arrange it on your junk, sleuth out some porn online, lean back, and enjoy.

The Liberator Axis Magic Wand Mount is similar to other Liberator positioning aids, except that it has a slot where you can insert your wand. I love that it has a little clear plastic window, so that (depending on what wand you’re using) you can still operate the buttons on your vibe even while it’s tucked inside. It can also be used without a vibe, as a standard positioning toy, to help elevate your hips or butt to make certain sex positions easier and more comfortable. Here are some suggested uses for this clever little product:

• I mean, you could just keep it simple and lie on top of your wand-impregnated Axis while you get fucked from behind. Hands-free genital stimulation is a real treat.

• If you like pleasure with your pain, try lying on the Axis while getting a spanking. Each hit will press you more firmly against the wand. I don’t come from spankings but I imagine it might be possible with this toy and some determination.

• Depending on your level of flexibility, you could lie face-up with the Axis under your ass, insert a butt plug, and angle your hips so that the wand makes contact with the base of the plug. This’ll make the toy vibrate, while tilting your hips to make any additional genital stimulation easier to administer.

What are your favorite uses for wand accessories like these?

 

Thanks to Betty’s Toy Box for sending me these products to try!

Mini Reviews: We-Vibe Pivot, Icicles #69, & Weal & Breech Nipple Clamps

Kate Sloan

Oops, I let my toy review pile overflow again. Here’s a few mini ones squished together!

We-Vibe Pivot (available at SheVibe)

I am always looking for a vibrating cock ring that will actually get me off, which I realize is sort of a pipe dream. There are people more sensitive than I, so I’m led to believe, who are havin’ orgasms left and right with these things – but I’ve never gotten off that way. Not ever. Not even once, in my entire sexual career.

But the beautiful and rechargeable We-Vibe Pivot comes the closest of any I’ve tried, which sounds like faint praise but is actually pretty significant. We-Vibe is known for (among other things) their rumbly motors, and since the problem with most vibrating cock rings is their laughably buzzy vibrations, this one is a step in the right direction.

I also like that the motor is housed in a broad, slightly jutting, squarish shape at the top of the ring, allowing it to make contact with my clit more consistently during PIV sex. Like most toys of this sort, this one basically requires small, deep thrusts if you want to keep the vibrating part on the receptive partner’s clit, but fortunately for me, that’s how I like to be fucked anyway. My inability (so far) to reach orgasm with this toy is not the fault of the toy, but more related to my own anxieties about “taking too long” to come during PIV sex, and the relative rarity of PIV in my sex life compared to other acts which get me off much more reliably.

I’ve tried this ring with two different penis-wielding partners and both reported it was comfortable if perhaps a little tight (keeping in mind that restrictiveness is part of the point of cock rings). If you’re of above-average girth, you might need the assistance of lube to get this ring onto your junk. The silicone has some stretch but is firmer than I’d generally expect from a cock ring, so keep that in mind.

If you’ve always liked the idea of vibrating cock rings but hated them in practice, the We-Vibe Pivot is the one I’d recommend. It’s quite a bit pricier than your typical watch-battery, jelly-rubber cock ring, but it’ll also last you longer and quite possibly actually feel good instead of numbing your genitals.

Icicles No. 69 (available at Betty’s Toy Box)

I requested this because it looked like a potentially great A-spot toy – and at a decent price point, no less!

However, it sort of misses the mark on that front. The bigger end can sort of slide up into my A-spot if I angle it just right, but then the small amount of toy left for me to use as a “handle” is awkwardly short and curves away from me, so I can’t easily thrust hard and fast the way I prefer.

The smaller end, meanwhile, is too sharply curved to be a good A-spotter – though it does hit my G-spot with aplomb. I’m not into narrow, pinpointed G-spot stimulation – I prefer mine bigger and broader – but if you like the sensation of one or two fingers stroking your G-spot, you might like the roughly equivalent-sized small end of this dildo too.

The other reason this dildo won’t become a bedside staple of mine? All that texture on the shaft. I don’t mind the sensation of it, but it doesn’t really add to my experience, and it’s also a nightmare to clean.

If you want an A-spotty dildo for under $50, I think the Icicles No. 5, Ruse D Thang (used upside-down), and Blue Wave look like good contenders. I wanted to like the Icicles No. 69 but it’s just not quite what I wanted it to be.

Weal & Breech nipple clamps (available at Come As You Are)

I had my eye on these for a long time, and then when W&B came out with some in purpleheart wood, I knew I had to snap them up. They’re quite unlike any other nipple clamps I’ve ever seen: they’re made of two slats of wood which screw together with brass fittings. They open up pretty wide, so you can fit nipples big and small into them, as well as potentially a clit or even the head of a cock. (Be careful!)

The inner surfaces of the wood are cross-hatched, which helps them stay in place once they’re on. I’ve had slippage issues with lots of other clamps, but not with these.

It takes a while to get them on and off, because you have to unscrew the fittings, position your nipple between the wood slats, and then screw the fittings closed again. I love this element of anticipation when doing sadomasochistic scenes, but if you like your nipple pain quick ‘n’ dirty, you’d probably prefer regular ol’ alligator-style nipple clamps.

When using these, I have to be careful not to pinch my skin between the brass and the wood, because that hurts, and not in the fun way. That’s usually as easy as gently prying my flesh away from the brass screw while I’m putting the clamps on.

One thing I miss from other clamps, that these lack, is a string or chain connecting the two. It can be fun to tug on the connector between two clamps during a scene, for a random jolt of pain. However, if you wanted, you could attach your own string or chain to these; they just don’t come with one.

I notice that I have to re-tighten these clamps every few minutes to maintain the high levels of pain I want from them, and I’m not sure if that’s because the clamps are slowly loosening or my pain tolerance is just increasing over time. Either way, it’s not a huge deal. I tell partners about this issue before letting them use these clamps on me for the first time, and they usually remember to readjust every few minutes – especially if they’re sadistic and like seeing my grimace of pain when they do this!

Overall, I love these clamps. They’re unusual, beautiful, and extremely painful. All the best qualities for nipple clamps to have!

Thanks to SheVibe and Betty’s Toy Box for sending me the first two toys. I bought the clamps myself.

What Makes a Vibrator “Beginner-Friendly”? (+ Win a Bellesa Vibe!)

Kate Sloan

As a sex educator and sex toy reviewer, a question I get asked a lot is: “What’s a good vibrator for a beginner?”

It’s a deceptively complicated question. Those who ask it often want an easy answer, and there usually isn’t one. It depends on too many factors: Does this beginner already know they like vibration, or are they unsure? Have they ever had an orgasm before? Have they ever even masturbated before? Which part(s) of their anatomy do they intend to use the vibrator on or in? Do they want to be able to use it with a partner, or just by themselves? Do they need it to be quiet, discreet, non-representational, or are they okay with something that’s a bit harsher on the senses? How much are they willing and able to spend?

As you can see, deeming a vibrator “beginner-friendly” isn’t as easy as it sounds. However, there are a few qualities which – in my expert opinion – make a vibe suitable for first-time sex toy users. Here’s what to look for…

Body-safe materials. If you start with a toxic jelly toy, you’ll probably be scared off vibrators forever by the chemical burns, internal infections, and/or bad smells. These perilous toys are seductive because of their low price point, but they’re just not worth it. Look for phthalate-free, non-porous materials like silicone, hard plastic, glass, and stainless steel.

Multiple modes and speeds. To experiment with vibration properly, you’ll need to try several different types and timbres. The easiest way to do this is with a vibrator that has at least 5 different speeds and maybe a few patterns. That way, even if you end up hating a few of the modes, there will likely be some you actually enjoy.

A versatile shape. Many toys marketed as “vibrators for women” are designed with G-spot stimulation in mind, but you can use them in many more ways than that! Any vibe meant for internal use can also be used externally, such as on the clitoris or perineum. If an insertable vibrator has a flared base and is made of a non-porous material, it can also be used anally. Hooray for multifaceted toys!

And now, for the exciting part: I’ve got a decidedly beginner-friendly (though also intermediate- and advanced-friendly) vibrator to give away to one lucky reader in North America!

Bellesa makes sex toys for women, though truth be told, their vibes could be used by anyone of any gender. They’ve offered up their Euphoria vibrator, a toy made with anal play in mind (hence that flared base) but also plenty useful for vaginal penetration or external stimulation. It’s got 7 stimulation modes, is submersible in the tub, and is made of body-safe silicone – so it ticks all my “beginner-friendly vibe” boxes and more!

You can enter to win using the widget below, if you live in North America. I’ll draw a winner after 2 weeks, so you have until September 1st to enter!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Thanks to Bellesa for sponsoring this post! As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

A Femme Lady in a Bulldog Chest Harness

Kate Sloan

It’s funny how your fashion choices can sometimes reflect an identity you haven’t even realized is yours yet. Take, for example, the pal of mine who delighted in dressing “like a lesbian” before she even knew she was queer, or my genderfluid beau who rocked Oxfords and bowties while still squarely identifying as a girl, or even my rock-star little brother who picked up a punk flair before ever picking up a drumstick. I feel this way about kinky aesthetics: they bounced around my brain long before I realized I was kinky, and maybe that means those kinks were there all along.

See, when it comes to kink, I was a relatively late bloomer. I believed I was vanilla many years into my sexual career – perhaps due to inexperience and a lack of self-knowledge, or perhaps because I was dating people who just didn’t bring my power-exchange proclivities to the surface. I was 23 by the time I seriously tried on the “submissive” label – and even then, it was tentative, theoretical. Black leather crept into my aesthetic before it progressed into my fantasies. I wore a collar and harness boots for how they looked and not how they could be used to fuck or submit. I blended leather-scented cologne with my femmier perfumes to add a kinky kick to my sillage.

I hadn’t given much thought to this history until last summer, when a vanilla-leaning femme friend asked me, in hushed tones, whether I thought it was “appropriative of kink culture” for her to wear a collar purely decoratively. I think in her case, borrowing from BDSM fashion was a subtle nod to that subculture – while when I did it, it was a cry to be noticed and welcomed by a community to which I somehow already knew I belonged. (A dominant boyfriend of mine once bemoaned this mismatch: “Now that places like Forever 21 are selling collars, I never know who to flirt with anymore!”)

Once I’d thoroughly explored my interests in collars and cuffs, I started to feel that familiar femme longing toward leather chest harnesses. These are traditionally associated with gay male culture and specifically with puppy play: a handler can attach a leash to his pup’s harness and tug him around. Do some Googling on bulldog-style harnesses and you’ll see plenty of references to how “masculine” they are, because of how they highlight a broad, brawny chest. I own a feminine-as-hell chest harness, too, but somehow I kept returning with aching curiosity to the classic look of a black leather bulldog harness. So I asked Spectrum Boutique to send me the one they carry, and tried it on with timid titillation.

It’s clear that this type of harness is not designed for people with boobs. It presses down on the tops of mine in a vaguely restrictive manner, and doesn’t even push them together for bonus cleavage. It yearns to stretch across flat expanses, but instead, I make it traverse my cushy curves. The effect is distinctly gender-weird when I clasp it over my girly dresses or thin crop tops.

But much of kink is about tiptoeing (or leaping, or pirouetting) into territory you daren’t explore in your everyday life. Within the confines of kink, I can be a little girl, a kitten, a Victorian housewife seeking treatment for her hysteria. Gender lines can be blurred and pushed; see, for example, the QueerPorn scene where cis women Tina Horn and Dylan Ryan call each other “Sir” and “boy” and flagrantly exercise their “vibrant gender imaginations.” See, too, the scene I did with my Sir last month where I painted his mouth with orange lipstick, called him my good pretty boy, and slid my pink glittery cock into his ass. Messing with gender through kink isn’t always imbued with humiliation, in the manner of the businessman forced to wear silk panties that belie his brash confidence; sometimes that gender-defiance is just exploration, experimentation, play. It can be another tool in your toolbox, like a paddle or a butt plug or – yes – a chest harness.

Whether I’m wearing this harness in or out of the bedroom, I feel like I’m flagging as the sex-weirdo I am – someone willing to try edgy acts, subvert norms, fight for the freedom to fuck howsoever I please. Visible markers of sexual identity, like this chest harness or the bi pride sticker on my notebook or the collar around my neck, help me stick out in a world that wants me silent and submissive (in the not-so-fun way). These sartorial signals are often extra important to people whose sexualities are systemically erased: queer femmes, for example, or bisexual folks, or disabled folks, among many other groups. Older queers sometimes mock younger ones for plastering themselves in rainbow flags, just as some seasoned kinksters scoff at “dilettantes” who load up on leather after watching their first Fifty Shades flick – but we shouldn’t tamp out these tentative explorations just because they seem surface-level. Sometimes these loud costumes are the lost shouts of a hidden identity, blooming into view.

 

Thanks to Spectrum Boutique for sending me the lovely Bruiser bulldog harness to try out! It’s available in three different sizes, to fit chests ranging from 36″ to 48″. Check out Spectrum’s wide selection of BDSM wearables if you’re craving more of the “kinky aesthetic” in your life!