Sex Toy Reviews

Review: Acmejoy Lolita

Kate Sloan

I was suspicious of the Acmejoy Lolita from the start, because it’s repeatedly described on its product page as being suitable for beginners.

Granted, it’s not inherently wrong to describe a sex toy as beginner-friendly – I certainly do it pretty often. But when I say that about a toy, what I tend to mean is that it will give beginners an introduction to sex toys (or to a particular category of sex toy) that is both user-friendly and pleasurable. I’ve heard from far too many people who gave up on sex toys after trying one bad one, and so I recommend certain toys to beginners the same way I’d tell a friend to start with my favorite episode of a TV show I wanted them to watch. I want their first impression to be positive and enjoyable, and for them to not feel alienated by it.

But all too often in the sex toy industry, when a toy is described as beginner-friendly, what that means is: It has a friendly and unintimidating aesthetic, but produces weak sensations. There’s an assumption being made that sex toy newbies are far more sensitive than long-time toy users, and that therefore, a toy which might disappoint an experienced user would be just fine for a beginner. I don’t think this is true – and I think it’s insulting.

A truly beginner-friendly vibrator will have a wide range of settings, so that new users can experiment to figure out what sensations they like. It should be a toy they can enjoy right out of the box but that they can also “grow into,” if, for example, they find that they want stronger vibrations a few months down the road, or want to try using a vibe internally after only using it externally. It should be versatile, varied, and forgiving.

The Acmejoy Lolita is none of those things, sadly.

But let’s back up and start with the basics. What is this toy? The Lolita – also known as the “Baby Octopus,” which is a much more apt name, seeing as that is what it looks like – is a small clitoral stimulator with two different functions, sucking and licking. The “sucking” is pressure-wave stimulation, and the “licking” is the rapid movement of a mechanical silicone tongue.

Despite what the Lolita’s inaccurate marketing copy says (“Pleasure two of your hottest hot spots at once!”), you can’t use both of these functions simultaneously, because they are located at different places on the toy. This is a cool idea in theory – you could start with licking and escalate to sucking when you’re turned on enough, or vice-versa. It is a bit odd that both functions are always on if the toy is on (there’s only one button on the toy, which controls both functions at once), but it could be useful if you plan on switching back and forth quickly between the two functions during any given session. Two vulva-owners could also theoretically get into a scissor-ish position and each use one of the toy’s functions at once, but I think it would be challenging to get the angles right.

One other potential benefit to how this toy is designed: If you want to get “sucked” by the pressure-wave part of the toy, while looking at its little silicone tongue flapping, there is a way you can position the toy so that is possible. I sometimes found this vaguely hot, as someone who watches a lot of cunnilingus porn. 🤷🏻‍♀️

My immediate thought, upon discovering that there’s no way to only engage one function at a time, was, “Isn’t that taxing on the motor?” In my experience with low-end to mid-range dual- and triple-stimulation toys, each of the functions tends to weaken when you turn on the other functions, because the motor isn’t typically engineered well enough to keep pace when it’s doing that much at once. It’s like trying to run The Sims on an old laptop.

Indeed, I think the Lolita’s strength suffers substantially for there being no way to use the functions individually. It’s… disappointingly weak, to say the least. Both the sucking and the licking feel very surface-level and insubstantial. Like, yeah, I know they’re happening, but my clit just doesn’t care. In my testing sessions, I was barely able to get turned on, let alone get off. And that’s with weed and porn factored into the equation.

The tongue certainly felt better than the suction. It felt slightly more impactful and even felt a bit like a real tongue at times, albeit the tongue of someone who is teasing you by giving you maddeningly gentle head. The tongue slows down significantly when pressure is applied, though, so for me, this could only ever be a tease – and not a very good one, at that.

The suction is worse – its “mouth” barely encompasses any of my clit, sitting on just the very tip of it, and it doesn’t create much of a seal or generate much sensation at all. Both the sucking and licking functions have 7 intensity settings, and there’s little difference, sensation-wise, between the lowest one and the highest. Have I mentioned that this toy is weak?!

Image via Acmejoy

I have some other issues with this toy, but they’re smaller quibbles that would’ve been forgivable if not for the toy’s bigger flaws. Namely:

After you reach the 7th intensity setting, if you hit the toy’s one button again in hopes of amping up the sensations further, the toy just shuts off. NO TOY SHOULD EVER DO THIS. This is a recipe for ruined orgasms.

Because the toy is spherical, it rolls around a lot and frequently falls off my nightstand. It does come with a small plastic stand, shaped like octopus tentacles, which you can sit it on top of to circumvent this problem, but I’m just not gonna keep something like that on my nightstand all the time, so it’s often not there when I need it. The shape of the toy is also awkward to hold onto – my achy and uncoordinated hands often find it hard to press its one button – and due to its roundness and smoothness, it doesn’t stay securely in place if I try to hold it between my thighs for hands-free use.

When you plug the toy in to charge, there’s no indication that it is indeed charging. Nothing lights up or buzzes or anything. You just have to guess, and hope, and pray.

Image via Acmejoy

I don’t like writing negative reviews, but the Acmejoy Lolita just isn’t a good toy. They’re charging $45.99 for something that doesn’t even feel as good as my fingers alone. Feel free to peruse Acmejoy’s clitoral vibes section – I know for a fact that it contains some options that are way better than the Lolita, including at least one that can actually get me off. But this one ain’t it.

I think we do sex toy consumers a disservice when we say that a weak toy is the same thing as a beginner-friendly toy. I think beginners deserve better than to be condescended to, underserved, and scared off toys altogether by bad ones that didn’t need to be made. I think that if calling your toy “good for beginners” is the only way you can make it make sense, you should probably just go back to the drawing board and make a better toy. Beginners’ tastes aren’t homogeneous, and they won’t be beginners forever. Regardless of your experience level, some toys are just bad. And this, I’m sorry to say, is one of them.

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of the product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: Fun Factory Vim wand vibrator

Kate Sloan

Well, it finally happened. Fun Factory made a wand vibrator.

I love Fun Factory, and I love wand vibrators, so obviously I was hugely excited about this news. So excited that I texted my sex-blogger group chat in a frenzy. So excited that I sent my partner a cavalcade of pictures. So excited that I replied to the press release begging to be sent one, even though I wasn’t going to be able to attend the exclusive launch party at the Museum of Sex. (Fun Factory’s PR people were nice enough to send me the goodie bag I would have received if I’d gone, which included the wand itself as well as a scented candle, branded matches, and a bottle of Sutil Rich. Perfection.)

I’ve been testing out the wand these last few weeks, not just in dedicated testing sessions but also during phone sex with my partner. This is rare – the toys I get sent to review are usually bad-to-middling, and thus not worthy of inclusion in the lineup of toys I actually use in my “personal life.” But the Vim made the cut, and it’s probably going to be one of my go-to vibes from now on. Let’s talk about what makes it so great – and what I wish was different about it.

 

Things I like about the Fun Factory Vim

  • The most important thing to know is: it’s really fucking rumbly. Fun Factory talks a big game about how the Vim has a “unique weighted motor” which makes it feel rumbly from the lowest setting to the highest – and they’re actually telling the truth when they say that. It’s veeeery rumbly, meaning that its vibrations feel low-pitched, stimulate clitoral structures (or other erogenous zones) in a way that isn’t just skin-deep, and don’t cause the annoying numbness or irritation that buzzier vibes can. I have strong, deep, surprising, breathtaking orgasms with this toy, because it stimulates the deepest parts of my clit, not just the part on the outside.
  • The Vim’s 5 speeds start very low – a mild, barely perceptible trembling – and top out at a wildly powerful, jackhammer-esque intensity. For that reason, I think this would be a great first wand for someone who’s curious about them but worried they’ll feel too overpowering. A lot of other wands start strong, strong enough to scare off beginners and sensitive folks, but this one has such a wide range of intensities that just about anyone could enjoy it.
  • The majority of the wand’s weight is concentrated in its head. This allows it to feel rumblier and also means it’s not as tiring to hold onto the handle. As someone with chronic pain and muscle fatigue issues, I appreciate this.
  • The textured handle of the toy makes it easier to grip onto, even when I’ve got lube on my hands. Fantastic.
  • The shape of the Vim also makes it easier to hold than many other wands, because of how it curves inward toward the middle. I also just think this looks better/sexier/cuter than a straight-up-and-down wand.
  • I really love the aesthetic of the Vim. It’s friendly and fun, and the contrast between the matte silicone and the shiny plastic (or metal? not sure) on the neck and control panel is quite pretty. The one I got is a delightful shade of electric orange, and the other color option is a dignified deep blue. Both of these colors feel pretty non-gendered to me, too, which is always good to see.
  • Even at its highest speeds, the Vim is still reasonably quiet. Someone would definitely be able to tell you were using a vibrator if they were in the same room as you, sure, but behind a closed door (or with music on) it would be nearly imperceptible. This is extremely rare for a wand vibe this strong.
  • Most people seem to like when wand vibes have a bendy neck, so I’ll mention it here even though it’s not all that important to me personally. I will say, though, if you like to press down hard when you use vibrators, you might find that the neck of this toy has too much “give” for you to get the amount of pressure you want. (The head itself is firm, though, not squishy.)
  • As with most Fun Factory toys, the buttons on this wand are rounded, easy to locate, and make a satisfyingly responsive “click” that you can hear and feel when you press them. This is way better than toys that sometimes just don’t respond to button-presses (I’m lookin’ at you, Doxy) or that make you question whether you actually pressed the button or not. The Vim’s buttons also light up when the toy is in use, so you can find the button you’re looking for even in the dark.
  • The rumbliness of the Vim feels really good when held against the base of a dildo or butt plug that’s inside me, which can conveniently be done even while the vibe’s head is also stimulating my clit, because it’s big enough to reach both at once.
  • The Vim has an almost-unprecedented SIX-HOUR battery life. Absolutely wild. (For reference, the Magic Wand Rechargeable‘s battery life is about 3 hours.)
  • It has a travel-lock function, so it won’t turn on in your suitcase or backpack, etc. This is an uncommon feature in wand vibes of this size/strength, so it’s worth noting.

 

Things I don’t like about the Fun Factory Vim

  • My #1 annoyance with this toy is that once you reach the top speed, if you press the “+” button in the hopes of increasing the intensity further, it just moves on to vibration patterns. This can really kill the momentum of a session and could even ruin an orgasm if you weren’t expecting it. I have a strong preference for patterns being accessed via their own button that is separate from the buttons which control vibration intensity, for this reason. I almost never like vibration patterns or want to use them, and I’d love if it was impossible to switch to one accidentally.
  • The Vim starts at a medium intensity when you turn it on. This happens every time you turn it on. I strongly prefer when vibrators start at their lowest setting, because that is generally where I’ll be starting my session at, so I find it annoying that I always have to hit the “–” button a few times to get back to the lowest setting when I start using the Vim. However, if you tend to skip over the weakest settings on wand vibrators anyway, you might not mind this and might actually prefer it.
  • I don’t really understand how the Vim’s “customizable” speed adjustment works, and the manual doesn’t clarify sufficiently. The instructions seem to indicate that you can either short-press the “+” and “–” buttons to move between preset speeds or hold them down to “micro-adjust” until you reach your exact preferred vibration level, but sometimes holding them down doesn’t do anything and sometimes short-pressing them doesn’t do anything, and I don’t know why. 🤷🏻‍♀️
  • As with many wands, the bulkiness of this one means it’s not well-suited to missionary/face-to-face sex positions unless you adapt the position to make room for the toy. Its head is also large enough that it can get in the way a bit if I’m using a dildo that has a wide base.
  • While I mentioned above that I enjoy the wand’s center of gravity being in its head, there are times when this is somewhat annoying – mainly, when I’m trying to move the wand around my vulva (or to use it for general body massage), which can feel more tiring for my fibromyalgia-afflicted body than it would with a more balanced wand.
  • Fun Factory designed this toy so that the vibrations will mostly stay focused in the head, rather than vibrating the handle as with some other wands (which can be irritating, numbing, and even painful for me at times). If I hold the vibe by the end of its handle, the vibrations are indeed barely perceptible in my hand – but, when I hold it where it makes most sense to hold it – where the controls are located – some vibration definitely travels into my hand. It’s a minor issue but worth noting.
  • The textured head, which is designed to hold onto lube (which it does indeed do well), can be harder to clean than the smooth head of something like the Magic Wand Rechargeable.

How does the Vim compare to the Magic Wand Rechargeable?

  • The MWR has 4 speeds and 4 patterns. The Vim has 5 speeds and 3 patterns, although you can hold down the “+” and “–” buttons to “micro-adjust” the speed in any of its modes, a feature that the MWR doesn’t have.
  • The two are similar levels of rumbliness. The MWR feels stronger on its highest setting than the Vim does, but I think this is mostly because the MWR gets buzzier on its highest speeds (while retaining a good foundation of rumbliness at the same time), whereas the Vim stays pretty rumbly throughout. This is up to personal preference, but if I was masturbating on a particularly desensitized day (e.g. I’d already come twice that day, had used other powerful vibrators recently, or was on SSRIs), I’d probably pick the MWR over the Vim because that extra “top note” of buzziness is sometimes what I need to push me over the edge. However, for general/everyday use, I prefer a rumblier vibe, so I’d stick to the lower levels of the Vim or MWR and wouldn’t notice much of a difference, vibrations-wise.
  • The MWR is significantly louder than the Vim, especially on its higher settings.
  • Both the MWR and the Vim are not waterproof and should not be submerged in water, but the Vim’s instructions re: cleaning are much more chill/permissive about water getting on the toy. You’re supposed to wipe the MWR’s head clean, not wash it with water, but you can safely wash the Vim with soap and water as long as you don’t fully submerge it.
  • The MWR can be used while plugged in, which is a game-changer, especially if your vibe dies mid-session and you want to keep using it. However, as mentioned above, the Vim’s battery life is about twice as long as the MWR’s.
  • The MWR’s neck isn’t as bendy as the Vim’s, so it’s better if you like to apply a lot of pressure with vibrators.
  • The Vim is lighter, at 0.95 lbs to the MWR’s 1.3 lbs.
  • The Vim is a bit shorter: 12.3 inches, versus the MWR, which is 13 inches long.
  • The Vim’s handle is skinnier (about 4.25″ in circumference, measured around where the controls are located, versus the MWR’s 5.75″), which might make it better for you if you have small hands.
  • The Vim’s head is slightly longer and slimmer than the MWR’s. The difference is minor enough that I think some Magic Wand attachments would work on the Vim, although they wouldn’t fit perfectly/securely.
  • I tend to tilt my MWR on an angle when I use it, so the vibrations are focused into the corner of the head, making for a more pinpointed sensation, which my clit prefers. This isn’t possible with the Vim because its head is rounded; however, tilting it does narrow the area of contact somewhat so it’s not that much of an issue for me.
  • The Vim retails for $169 (nice) while the MWR retails for about $130.

 

Final thoughts

To be honest, I’m pretty attached to my Magic Wand Rechargeable. I think it’s hands-down one of the best wands on the market, in terms of engineering, vibration strength and quality, and even aesthetics (I mean, I got it tattooed on me, for heaven’s sake!).

But the Fun Factory Vim really gives it a run for its money. It’s sexy-looking, wildly rumbly, quiet, has an astonishingly long battery life, is easier to clean, and has a travel lock. If these features matter to you, I think you’d love it.

I might suggest you get an MWR instead if any (or multiple) of the following things are true for you:

  • You prefer (or don’t mind) a little buzziness at higher intensity levels
  • You prefer being able to use the wand even while it’s charging/even if it runs out of battery mid-session
  • You don’t want to pay $169 but can stomach paying $130
  • You like to press down hard with vibrators when you use them
  • You want a wand that will definitely be compatible with standard wand attachments and accessories
  • You have sensory issues, vulvodynia, etc. which would make a smooth wand head more appealing than a textured one
  • You prefer an aesthetic that’s more clinical/non-sexual or toned-down

But if you’ve got the cash to spare and you want a mega-rumbly, ultra-beautiful rechargeable wand, I can proudly recommend the Fun Factory Vim. It’s everything I hoped it would be.

 

This review was not sponsored, I just really like this toy.

Review: Acmejoy Excellent Clitoral Sucking & Licking Stimulator

Kate Sloan

Is it just me, or is clitoral suction becoming a more and more popular theme in the worlds of both porn and sex toys lately? I feel like I’ve seen more and more discourse about it, on Reddit, in PornHub comment sections, in sex toy reviews, and so on.

I, for one, welcome this new wave of pro-suction sentiment, because it’s long been assumed (at least by toymakers and by many of the cis-het dudes I’ve hooked up with) that the oral technique preferred by most clits is some form of distanced tongue-flicking, the likes of which you might see in mainstream lesbian porn from the mid-oughts, and that’s just never done much for me. Get your whole face in there or don’t bother.

All this to say, I’m always intrigued by toys like the Acmejoy Excellent Clitoral Sucking & Licking Stimulator, toys which make use of clitoral suction in interesting ways. Let’s get into it…

 

What is the Acmejoy Excellent Clitoral Sucking & Licking Stimulator?

This toy has two functions. One of them, as mentioned, is suction – and I mean literal suction, not the pressure-wave stimulation found in toys by Womanizer, Satisfyer, etc. that can sometimes feel a bit like suction. No, this thing actually encases your clit in a little bell-shaped “mouth” and then sucks air out of the chamber created between your skin and the mouth, similarly to what a clit pump does, only not as intensely.

The other function this toy has is “licking.” There’s a little silicone tongue inside its mouth, which moves up and down rapidly to replicate a tongue-flicking feeling. There are 10 licking modes (3 steady speeds + 7 patterns) and 5 sucking modes (I’ll get into those in more detail below). The two functions can be used on their own or separately.

As with any toy that attempts to feel like oral, you’re gonna want to use a lot of (water-based) lube with this one, or it just won’t feel how it’s meant to feel.

 

Things I like about this toy

  • Well, the main thing to know is that it can actually make me come, a rare quality amongst toys that aim to simulate cunnilingus. I mean, heck, actual cunnilingus can’t consistently get me off, because my clit is a spoiled princess with very particular needs, so I don’t usually expect mechanical simulacrums of the act to be able to get me off either. The suction function’s first mode, which is the only one I enjoy (more on that in the “don’t like” section), feels remarkably similar to when my partner sucks on my clit – it’s a mode in which the suction is briefly increased, then released, at a rhythmic tempo of about 84 beats per minute. This is definitely the main thing that got me off, as the licking function is just okay, not great (for my particular body, anyway), while the suction not only boosts my arousal by pulling more blood into my clit, but also physically strokes it, as the toy’s “mouth” narrows and widens slightly around my clit with every suck. I found that I could get off after just a few minutes of using this toy, provided I found the right angle/placement and paired it with cunnilingus-based fantasies or porn. Yay, orgasms!
  • Each of the toy’s two functions can be controlled separately, which is great because sometimes I want to turn up the intensity of the licking while leaving the suction on the same mode, or vice-versa.
  • The “licking” is cool – the tongue actually physically moves up and down, rather than just vibrating, so it can create a somewhat authentic licking sensation when well-lubed, although it’s way faster than most humans would be able to lick.
  • The variety of licking patterns available is surprisingly good – there are steady rhythms at various paces, and some modes that ramp up gradually in speed. A lot of these modes feel akin to what an actual human might do with their tongue, albeit much more standardized/robotic.
  • The toy is well-shaped and sized – it feels relatively ergonomic to hold and to operate, feels neither too heavy nor insubstantially light, and can easily be held between my thighs if I want to use it hands-free.
  • I love that they chose to go with a large, wide mouth, unlike some pressure-wave toys which have tiny little nozzles that can only fit the tip of a small-to-medium-sized clit. This toy will fit a much wider array of clit sizes than those toys will; I even think it would fit many transmasculine folks’ testosterone-expanded anatomy. Inclusivity is a good thing!
  • At only $34.99, I think this toy is reasonably priced for the quality of its construction and design. It’s one of the least expensive cunnilingus simulators I might actually recommend to a reader or friend.

 

Things I don’t like about this toy

  • My biggest issue with this toy is that there is only one suction setting that is steadily rhythmic, the way I tend to want my clit sucked. The second mode is just steady, unbroken suction – good for if you are trying to get yourself turned on, or just want to focus on the licking without being distracted by rhythmic suction. The other suction modes are either sporadic/erratic or just way too slow for me to even dream of getting off with. It was frustrating to wish, at levels of high arousal, that there was a faster or firmer rhythmic suction setting to help get me over the edge more easily and more pleasurably.
  • The “tongue” is not positioned where I want it to be positioned. It’s located low in the mouth of the toy, which I guess makes sense because human tongues are located on the bottom of the mouth. But this means that it ends up flicking upward onto the exposed tip of my clit, which is way too sensitive for that kind of treatment, rather than downward onto my clitoral hood, the way I prefer to be stimulated. The tongue is also pretty short, and not angled toward where my clit tends to sit when the mouth is positioned where the suction feels best for me, so there were a lot of times during testing when the tongue wasn’t making contact with my clit at all.
  • When the tongue does make contact with my clit, I find that it slows down significantly when any pressure is applied, sometimes to the point that it feels like it’s stopped completely.
  • There’s an “exhaust” hole on the back of the toy, where the air that’s been sucked out of the mouth is expelled. I asked my Twitter followers if anyone had the physics expertise to comment on this, and they don’t think covering this hole is dangerous to the user – it just seems to weaken the suction and stress out the motor, if anything. But I do find it annoying that the hole is positioned in a place where you could easily accidentally cover it with your fingers while holding the toy.
  • There’s no quick-release button for the suction, which is a safety issue. If I turn the toy off at a moment when the suction is at its height, it just… stays that way… which some people might enjoy in some situations, but which becomes a problem if, say, your toy dies mid-use and you have to figure out how to get it off of you. (Lube could help, but I still think all suction toys should have a manual quick-release button.)
  • Having to cycle through all of a function’s 5-10 modes using only one button is as annoying as it always is, i.e. very.
  • The toy is only IPX5 waterproof, meaning that you can wash it briefly in the sink but can’t take it in the bath. I like bathtub masturbation so this always disappoints me.

 

Final thoughts

When testing this toy, I made the note, “If this was a nicer version of itself, I would use it a lot.” I know that sounds silly – isn’t that true of most toys?! – but what I mean is, this toy gives me a glimpse of what it could feel like if it was designed and engineered better, and I deeply wish that that version of the toy existed, because as-is, it feels just good enough to get me off.

I found that there were simply too many annoyances and issues for me to really feel relaxed while using it, plus I kept wanting to be able to increase the speed or intensity of the suction and then remembering there is only one steadily rhythmic suction mode. It’s like having a partner who’s incredibly good at cunnilingus… except that they can only do it at one moderate speed/intensity and never escalate their efforts as you get closer to coming. Like, yeah, I can get off that way, eventually, but it’s not gonna happen as easily or feel as good.

I would be more than willing to pay upwards of $80 for a toy that did what this toy does, but had more suction modes, a better-placed tongue, a motor that can stand up to pressure, and an exhaust hole that won’t constantly get in my way. Since this toy only costs $35, I’d say that if my description of it intrigued you, and you’re on the more sensitive side of the spectrum, it’d be worth a shot. But it’s just not quite what I wanted it to be… although maybe that’s because I really just wanted it to feel like my partner’s mouth, and I think the technology has still got a long ways to go before that’ll be possible.

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: Bestvibe Glans 10 Vibration 3 Thrusting Cock Ring Anal Dildo

mb

Note from Kate: Here’s a toy review written by my spouse!

Which is better: being a jack of all trades, or a master of one? There’s a long-running debate in the business world about whether it’s more advantageous to be a career generalist or a specialist. There’s even a buzzword for people who do both: “T-shaped people.” Come to think of it, that sounds a little like the shape of a good butt plug, doesn’t it?

But when it comes to sex toys, most multifunction products disappoint me by doing everything just a bit worse than their single-purpose counterparts, and not making up for it in the combination of their features.

That was my biggest concern when last month, Kate asked me to review the Bestvibe Glans 10 Vibration 3 Thrusting Cock Ring Anal Dildo. That name – what a mouthful (assfull?)!

 

This toy styles itself a 4-in-1, which is a lot of trades to jack off, or rather, to be a jack of. It’s a butt plug, it’s a cock ring, it’s a thruster, and it’s a perineum stimulator – all things I frequently crave on their own but have never tried all at once. So, of course, I agreed to review it. I had to know what this toy would feel like; the combination of a thrusting plug and a cock ring was too hard to pass up.

The Bestvibe Glans (as I nicknamed it) is a 1.7″-thick, 4.5″-long, black silicone butt plug. It’s shaped like an idealized penis with a prominent head, textured neck, and prostate-targeting coronal ridge. The plug’s base extends 6.69 inches (nice) and ends in a 1.3” stretchy cock ring. The IPX6-waterproof toy arrives in a crinkly storage bag with a small battery-powered remote and USB charging cable. The plug takes around 2 hours to charge and can run for an hour or so straight.

Since this toy does four things, I’ll discuss them individually and how they work together.

 

Butt Plug

First and foremost, this toy is a butt plug. And as a butt plug, the Glans is stellar. Its soft silicone, manageable girth, pleasant weight, and flared base made it easy to insert and wear during play. Even covered in plenty of water-based lube, it stayed in place perfectly during my testing sessions, thanks to the rippled base and pronounced tip.

While the plug doesn’t have a prominent curve like an Aneros or Pfun for intense P-spotting, its glans gave my prostate plenty of pressure and pleasure when I squeezed around it, even before I turned the toy on.

 

Animation via Bestvibe

Thruster

But wait, it thrusts! Many of the best thrusters on the market are made for folks with vulvas, so I’ve long been envious of toys that do the thrusting for you, and this toy absolutely fucks.

After turning it on by holding the power button on the toy’s base or the included remote, the toy both vibrates and thrusts. Keyword: “both,” because there’s no way to disable thrusting while it vibrates, or to have it just thrust without the vibration. That’s A-okay with me because the two sensations feel amazing paired together.

As you tap the one button on the toy or the +/− buttons on the remote, the cock springs to life and cycles through its three thrusting speeds, topping out at 100 thrusts per minute. The plug telescopes 0.4” back and forth, which may not sound like a lot, but feels highly satisfying as you feel the base stimulate the anus while the head hits the P-spot. After a while, I could sense how the friction had excited both my prostate and my hole. The drag eventually led to a pleasurable heat that reminded me of getting fucked by a partner with a strap-on.

The downside here is the controls. The only way to change which vibration pattern you’re using is to also increase or decrease the thrusting speed. Independent controls for these two functions would have made it much easier and less frustrating to use. It sucks to loop all the way around and get fucked too fast or slow just to switch up the vibration.

 

Cock Ring

Oh, right, it’s also a cock ring. The ring has a 1.3” diameter with no adjustability other than stretch. While it’s impossible to make a cock ring that will fit all bodies, I think adjustability is important because dicks come in all shapes and sizes and even can vary in girth and firmness by the day.

I typically use cock rings for a few reasons: to increase the hardness and sensitivity of my erections, to make my orgasms stronger, and to last longer while penetrating. This cock ring worked well to increase sensitivity but wasn’t as good at boosting firmness as harder rings with tighter fits, and I don’t think it’d help me with stamina because of all that anal stimulation.

While the manufacturer suggests slipping the ring just around the base of the penis, I found I enjoyed it a lot more when I used it how I use most cock rings: around both the penis and the scrotum, which also helped with fit and comfort.

 

Perineum Stimulator

This t’aint it.

This toy’s claimed perineum stimulation amounts to a hilariously tiny section of the connecting silicone covered in a bumpy texture that theoretically rubs against your taint while the toy fucks you. In my testing, no matter how I wore the plug and ring, there was no way this was going to press my perineum, and even if it did, its texture and the vibrations that reached it were far too subtle to provide any noticeable stimulation. My perineum, and the prostate accessible through it, respond best to either deep pressure or sensual stroking, and these tiny ineffectual bumps provide neither. I wish they had just left them out.

 

It’s All Coming Together

The Bestvibe Glans is a great butt plug, a powerful anal thruster and vibrator, and a pretty good cock ring if it fits your dick. But it truly shines when those separate functions work in combination. The plug provides a feeling of fullness, the thruster/vibrator fucks your ass and rubs your P-spot, and as it does, the cock ring tugs on your junk to keep you hard and sensitive for additional stimulation. The blending of all those sensations made it very easy to make myself come with this toy without even needing to touch myself or penetrate anything with my dick, which can feel gender euphoric for me, in addition to just being a fun time.

In addition to trying this toy and having fast, intense orgasms with it as advertised, I also took it for a spin under the dominance of my Keyholder while locked in a chastity cage and forbidden to come. Neither of us was sure if the ring would fit around both the steel cock cage and my balls, but its stretchiness made that a breeze. If you’re into orgasm control and denial, it can be super fun to hand the remote of this toy to your dominant partner and let them fuck you with it while you can’t touch your cock. Not to mention all the other fantasies this toy could enable: a “threesome” where you’re fucked by a hard cock while you use yours to fuck another partner, a dominant who distracts you by remotely rubbing your prostate and keeping you erect while you orally service them, or even as a way to have strap-on sex while you’re all alone or away from your partner.

At less than $50 USD, I strongly recommend this toy to just about anyone with a prostate and a penis who likes them both stimulated simultaneously. The Bestvibe Glans taught me an important lesson: not all multifunction sex toys are bad, and even when their individual parts do have flaws, the combination of different sensations within one object can be a huge benefit all on its own. Fewer things to buy, charge, pack, clean, and coordinate during sex. If you’ll excuse me, I gotta put this thing back to work. I have, uhh, many different jobs for it to do.

 

This post was sponsored, meaning we were paid to write a fair and honest review of the product.

Review: Fun Factory Bootie Fem

Kate Sloan

Fun Factory is one of my all-time favorite sex toy companies. They make cute, colorful toys that generally perform very well, whether we’re talking about a rumbly G-spot vibrator, a harness-ready silicone dildo, or an innovative pulsator.

One of their most recent releases is the Bootie Fem, a butt plug. I’ve been testing it out over the past few weeks and am overall a fan, though I definitely have my quibbles with the product. Let’s talk about it!

 

What is the Fun Factory Bootie Fem?

Fun Factory has a line of “Bootie” butt plugs which I’ve recommended to beginners of all genders and anatomies for many years, because of their newbie-friendly shape and dimensions (depending, of course, on which size you go with). The Bootie Fem is a different product altogether, designed specifically to be worn by people with vaginas. (Could people who don’t have a vagina use it, though? Certainly!)

Its insertable length is 3.35 inches and its diameter tops out at 1.14 inches, so it’s appropriate for beginners but can also be enjoyed by users with more anal experience. (I’m somewhere in the middle – I usually use a butt plug a couple times a month or so, but don’t often do much anal play beyond that.)

 

Things I like about this toy

  • One of the design choices that makes this plug extra suitable for people with vulvas is its asymmetrical base. Butt plugs have to have a flared base in order to be safe to use, but too often, plug bases are too chunky and/or long and end up blocking my vagina so I can’t do double penetration if I want to. On that point, Fun Factory has succeeded here: one side of the base is shorter than the other (though still long enough to be safe to use), and you can orient the plug so that that side is closest to your vagina, minimizing any obstruction of your vaginal opening. Yay, more access to my holes!
  • On that note, the base is also slim and comfortable. I had no issue wearing this plug for a long time, whether sitting on the couch, lying in bed, or walking around. As long as I re-lubricated as needed (which isn’t necessary all that often if you’re using a thicker water-based lube, like my beloved Sutil Rich), it was comfortable for up to 2-3 hours of wear (I didn’t test it for longer sessions than that).
  • The plug stays in place well. I never found that it slipped out, twisted around, etc. like some other plugs can.
  • The dimensions are such that I don’t have to warm up for this toy but it’s still definitely noticeable when it’s inside me (in a good way). I still tend to prefer a slightly larger plug sometimes (my favorite, the medium Njoy Pure Plug, has a 1.25-inch diameter, while the Bootie Fem’s is 1.14 inches), but this one works well for days when my butt is being a little temperamental and I want to err on the side of small.
  • As with many butt plugs, I found that having this one in was helpful in boosting my arousal, and also intensified other sexual sensations, like masturbating clitorally or receiving oral sex. This has a lot to do with my being able to feel every muscular contraction more vividly, due to the presence of the plug.
  • I have mixed feelings on the tulip-esque shape of the plug’s tip (more on that later), but it was designed to act as a “lube channel” and it does a good job of that. Lube tends to stay where I put it, if applied to the tip of the toy. Granted, I’m going to spread it all over the rest of the toy almost immediately after that, because that’s what you gotta do with anal toys, but the tulip lips are helpful in those moments when I’ve still got an open lube bottle in one hand and the plug in the other, and I want to close the lube bottle and set it back down without needing to worry that lube will drip all over me.

 

Things I don’t like about this toy

  • The name is poorly thought-out. I know naming sex toys isn’t easy, but 1) the Bootie Fem bears very little resemblance to the other Bootie plugs, aside from being a butt plug, and 2) the name implies that all people with vaginas (for whom the plug was designed) are female or feminine-presenting, which just isn’t the case. Trans men exist, non-binary people exist, intersex people exist, and on and on. It’s 2023; we don’t need to be doing this.
  • There’s a Fun Factory logo etched/inlaid into the side of the plug’s neck. There should ideally never be etching or other tiny divots/grooves/seams on the part of a toy that’ll be going inside you, because these design features are hard to clean, usually requiring a small scrub brush, which (realistically) most people are not gonna bust out every time they wash their toy. It could therefore become a breeding ground for bacteria or, at the very least, gross. This is also true of the groove that descends from the tulip tip on either side of the toy, though that’s easier to clean than the logo.
  • While the tulip-like tip of the plug is helpful when I’m applying lube, it’s not always super comfortable during insertion. There’s a reason butt plugs traditionally narrow to a single, slim, tapered tip: your sphincter muscles need insertion to be slow and gradual in order for them to relax and open up, so it makes sense to start with something small. The Bootie Fem’s “double-pronged” tip (for lack of a better word) can feel somewhat pokey and abrasive during insertion, a feeling which sometimes lingers uncomfortably for a few minutes.
  • There’s no particular curve to this toy. It’s supposed to be angled such that anything you insert vaginally (a dick, a dildo, etc.) will be pushed toward your G-spot by the pressure of the plug, but of course this only works if you are inserting something vaginally. I’m generally not, so I prefer a plug with a slight curve that can hit my G-spot through the vaginal wall.
  • I’m not particularly a fan of the colors the Bootie Fem is available in. The one I got is what Rosie Jones would call “sad purple,” and the other option available is a lighter purple.

 

Final thoughts

I’m always interested to see what new stuff Fun Factory’s come up with, and I’m glad to have the Bootie Fem in my collection because it can be tricky to find butt plugs that are comfortable, sized appropriately for my not-particularly-ambitious ass, and won’t block my vag.

However, this toy definitely has its issues – most pressingly, the odd shape, poor logo placement, and cissexist name. I still think the original Bootie can fulfill most people’s butt plug needs, though its logo is also placed in a location that makes no sense, hygiene-wise. But the original Booties at least taper to a single, slim tip, and have a curve that can hit your G-spot or prostate, as the case may be.

 

Thanks to Fun Factory for sending me this product to review! This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of the product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.