Sex Toy Reviews

I’m Surprised By How Much I Love This Little Lelo Vibe

Kate Sloan
Please excuse any pinkish stains you may see on the toy in these photos; they are not the toy’s fault, I just let it ride around in a makeup bag that had some red lipstick remnants inside it and I am notorious for liking longwear lipsticks that are difficult to remove, haha.

My very first “luxury” sex toy purchase, back when I was a teenager, was the Lelo Nea. I saved up for it for months and was wildly excited when I finally got to take it home from my local feminist sex shop.

Still to this day, the shape of Nea – which is the exact same shape as some of Lelo’s other clitoral vibes, including the Lily – is one of my favorites for clitoral stimulation. I love the way its tip is narrower than its body but not so narrow as to be pointy or uncomfortable. I love the way it curves over my mons and down onto my clit, seeming to fit seamlessly against my vulva whether I’m using it solo or during penetrative sex. I love that it’s small enough to be thrown into my toiletries bag when I travel but not so small that I’m likely to lose it.

But the original Nea didn’t really deliver in terms of vibration strength or rumbliness, which is why I was so excited to be offered the Lelo Lily 3. It’s everything I loved about the Nea, but with a noticeably better motor. And as I’ve written before, the motor matters more than any other trait of a vibrator, so this makes a huge difference.

When I’m at home and I want to get off, I almost always use the Eroscillator or a wand vibe like the Magic Wand Rechargeable or Fun Factory Vim. All of these are strong and dependable, both in the sense of “being dependably able to make me come” and in the sense of “dependably not dying mid-use” – the Eroscillator plugs into an electrical outlet, the Vim has an impressively long battery life before needing to be recharged, and the MWR can be used while it’s charging, should it come to that.

Now, comparatively, the Lily 3 isn’t that great – it has a battery life of about 2 hours – but I bring this up only to say that it’s hard for me to find a rechargeable, travel-friendly vibe that I trust enough to bring with me on a trip, especially a trip where suitcase space is limited. The We-Vibe Tango X is my favorite one in this category, for many reasons, but the Lily 3 has worked its way onto my list of acceptable options, which is hard to do. In fact, at this point I’ve brought it with me as my only vibe for many overnight stays (e.g. when I go over to my parents’ house to visit them and anticipate having phone sex with my spouse when I go to bed), and it has never once disappointed me or made me wish I’d brought a different vibe.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that it’s super-powerful. If you’re used to wands or similar, this almost certainly won’t be enough for you. But what I find enjoyable is its rumbliness, which it maintains throughout its 10 vibration intensities. The smooth ABS plastic translates the vibrations well, which helps, too. I think another thing that makes this vibe so successful for me is one of the few things Lelo has always excelled at: this toy starts at a very low intensity and works its way up to a much higher one. This ultimately results in less desensitization over the course of a session, so that I don’t require as much power to get off and can feel the orgasm more vividly when it does happen. It’s a small thing that makes a big difference.

The Lily 3 is also very quiet, and is waterproof, meaning it’s ideal for surreptitious/discreet play or masturbating in the bath or shower, and is even the kind of thing I’d bring with me to my local sex club if I hoped to get up to some shenanigans in the swimming pool there.

The button layout is easy to understand, a relic from a simpler time in the sex toy industry: the button on the right turns up the vibration intensity if you press or hold it, and the one on the left turns it down. You can switch between its 10 vibration patterns by quickly double-pressing the right-side button, and you can adjust the intensity of any pattern, which is a great feature that always makes me way more likely to actually use patterns instead of just sticking with the steady vibration mode like I normally do. The patterns are good, as far as patterns go – some are too slow for my tastes, but many are steadily rhythmic and can feel really good.

Lelo has made a lot of missteps in their time, and one of them is that they tend to overcomplicate things, making vibrators that have a bunch of unnecessary bells and whistles that no one asked for. (I have been trying, and failing, to enjoy the new Lelo Dot Cruise, for example, in large part because of its “Cruise” function which is still inconsistent and terrible, despite the fact that the toy costs fucking $200.)

But the Lelo Lily 3 only costs $76, and it bucks that trend. It’s what Lelo does best: a simple, elegant, ergonomic vibrator with a wide array of settings, a respectable motor, and a luxurious “it factor” that makes you feel fancy and deliciously self-indulgent just for using it. It’s my favorite thing Lelo has put out since the Sila, their wide-mouthed pressure-wave toy that I adore.

It’s not earthshatteringly powerful or terribly unique. It doesn’t attempt to innovate or defy expectations. The Lelo Lily 3 is just a damn good clitoral vibrator, and writing this review has made me want to use it again, which is a good sign in and of itself.

 

Lelo didn’t pay me to write this review, they just sent me the product and I liked it. You know the drill: as always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: Velvet Thruster Sammie

Kate Sloan

Having been in this business for as long as I have, I can usually tell from a mile away if I’m going to love a toy. I’m not always 100% correct in my assessment – because it’s my junk, not my brain, that ultimately determines whether a toy works for me – but my hunches usually lean in the right direction.

So when the folks at Velvet Brands – who make the Velvet Thruster line of toys – asked if they could send me something, I was excited. I’d wanted to try one of these fuckers for years, because I had a strong suspicion that I’d love them. AND I DO, as it turns out!

 

The good

Velvet sent me their Sammie thruster, which is the biggest one they make. It’s got 7″ of insertable length and a hefty 2.25″ diameter. But my vagina’s not a superhero every day, so it’s great that they also sent me the Jackie attachment, which can be swapped for the Sammie attachment when I want to be fucked by something slimmer. This approach, of having a base unit that you can use with multiple different heads, is brilliant; it’s one of the many nice features that elevate Velvet Thrusters from regular self-thrusting toys and make them into something more akin to a fucking machine.

See, fucking machines are the go-to recommendation if you want something strong that can rhythmically pound into you without requiring much effort on your part. (As a frequently lazy masturbator, I understand this desire.) But a good fucking machine can run you upwards of $500, and also tends to take up a massive amount of space. So I love that the Velvet Thruster is relatively compact, and reasonably priced for the amount of power you get ($255 in the USA, $352 up here in Canada).

Because this thing is indeed fucking powerful. When I’ve tested other thrusters before, some (like the Fun Factory Stronic toys) have created a motion so small that it’s more akin to jiggling back and forth than slamming in and out of you. That can still feel plenty good at times, but when you really want to get fucked, it may not be what you reach for. Other thrusters I’ve tried have had such weak motors that they peter out when pressure is applied, and seeing as the vagina muscles (and anal muscles) contract and pulse during arousal and orgasm, it can be hard to get consistent stimulation with that type of toy, which can result in lessened pleasure and a weakened climax.

NOT SO with the Velvet Thruster! This thing’s motor has so much oomph that it doesn’t give a shit what my vagina is doing, it just keeps on truckin’ (and fuckin’). Its six speeds range from a slow-and-steady pace to a much more frantic 140 strokes per minute. The sensations are much stronger and more consistent than those I’ve gotten from any other self-thrusting toy, and it makes me come super hard.  I’ve never used a full-on fucking machine, because I’ve never had the space to spare and don’t often masturbate in the positions necessitated by such a behemoth; this Velvet toy delivers all the chutzpah I’d want from a fucking machine, but suits my needs much better.

I wasn’t sure how I’d feel about the shapes and textures of the attachments I was sent, because they’re both utterly lacking in curve, and have a semi-realistic veiny texture along the shaft. With ample lube (which is required with this toy – more on that below) and enough warm-up/arousal, the texture was a non-issue; if anything, it left me feeling even more thoroughly fucked after a session, in a good way. And as for the shape, well, these heads are long enough to hit my A-spot on each thrust – with a little manual help from me by finding the right angle during initial insertion – and so I’m more than happy with them. The 2.25″ girth of the Sammie can feel too big for me some days, especially with how firm it is, but then I can always swap to the Jackie for a subtler experience.

Velvet sent me an optional suction cup base for this toy (pictured), and I think it’d be a smart thing to throw into your cart if you get one of these. It opens up your positioning options substantially, making it much easier for you to back up against a wall to get fucked, or sit on the dick from above as it thrusts up at you from the floor. These aren’t common positions in my masturbation repertoire at all, but it’s fantastic to have the option, especially since this is the exact type of toy I’d reach for if I wanted to feel like a real human was well-and-truly railing me.

The toy’s “balls” act as a flared base which makes it anal-safe; Velvet sells an anal-specific attachment, but the others work just fine in your butt too. I also like that the toy’s power button is on its balls, which face away from you during use; this makes it almost impossible to accidentally turn the toy off mid-session.

Oh yeah, and it can last 6-8 hours on a charge. Impressive.

 

The bad

My complaints about this toy are mostly the usual ones you’ll hear about almost any thruster. Namely: it makes a loud, mechanical whirring noise during use, and it’s bigger than your typical sex toy so it might not fit in small nightstand drawers. That being said, I find both of those qualities to be forgivable, given this thing’s dazzling power output.

You will need a lot of lube with this toy. You just will. Not only does it help with surface friction – which would be a major issue otherwise, due to the toy’s draggy matte silicone and veiny texture – but it makes the thrusting go more smoothly and makes it less likely that the toy will shimmy its way out of you.

The main logistical issue I face with this thruster – and many other thrusters – is indeed that it tends to work its way out of my vag as it thrusts. You need to anchor the handle against something to prevent this from happening; a firm pillow between your legs could work, and of course, if you’ve suction-cupped the thruster to a wall or floor, those surfaces will provide helpful resistance. But my most common solution to this problem, because I’m lazy, has been to bend one knee so my ankle is braced against the toy’s handle. The toy is long enough that I can do this comfortably, even though my fibro-ridden knees complain if I bend them too much for too long. Having to keep my ankle in one spot during use isn’t ideal, of course, but it’s not all that obtrusive and usually doesn’t bother me, especially since it results in me getting fucked so hard I see stars.

The thruster’s buttons sometimes seem uncomfortably far away from me; I usually have to bend over a bit and look at them in order to change speeds. But this isn’t the type of toy I tend to change speeds on very often, compared to, say, a clitoral vibrator, so it hasn’t been too much of an issue.

I’ll also say that this thruster is very firm. The silicone gives it a tiny bit of squish at the surface, but overall it’s way way harder than any human dick would be. This can be wonderful if you’re craving strong sensations, but less so if you want something realistic-feeling or more forgiving. I always feel thoroughly fucked after using this toy, and I find that cunt-ache kinda hot and fun in most circumstances, but if you’re prone to pain/discomfort from penetration, you’ll probably want to stick with a smaller attachment and, again, use a shit ton of lube.

Notably, it’s not waterproof. This makes me slightly sad as someone who would love to get fucked during a leisurely bathtub wank, but it’s by no means a dealbreaker for me.

 

Final thoughts

I’m really delighted with the Velvet Thruster Sammie. It provides enough force and consistency to fuck me the way I like, and I often have stellar orgasms when I pair it with a clitoral vibe.

It may not be appropriate for all situations – I wouldn’t use it if I was concerned about someone overhearing me, for instance, or if my vag was sore – but it’s the best toy I’ve found for fulfilling the specific craving to get ploughed hard. And since my partner lives 500 miles away from me and I’m not dating/fucking anyone else at the moment, that is indeed a craving I encounter from time to time.

Do I wish the Velvet Thruster was a little squishier, a little quieter, and a little cheaper? Sure. But is it also the best thruster I’ve ever tried? Absolutely. And that, folks, is the thrust of my argument.

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of the product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: AcmeJoy 3-in-1 Rabbit

Kate Sloan

What is the AcmeJoy 3-in-1 rabbit?

Okay, technically its name is the AcmeJoy 3-in-1 7 Vibrating Modes Rabbit G-Spot Stimulator Anal Dildo Vibrator, but I won’t be calling it that, obviously.

This toy is essentially a standard rabbit vibrator – vibrating shaft with a G-spot curve, fluttery bunny ears for clitoral stimulation – but with an added arm for anal penetration, so it stimulates three erogenous zones at once.

Triple-stimulation toys are always a bit, shall we say, ambitious. Given how many toys only attempt to do one thing and still fail at it, it’s a confident move – almost cocky – for a sex toy company to make a toy that they claim can do three things well. Can AcmeJoy rise to the challenge?

 

Things I like about this toy

  • There are two separate motors in this rabbit. Many dual- or triple-stim vibes only have one motor, trusting that the vibrations will travel throughout the toy to stimulate all the zones it targets, but those toys usually fall short power-wise, and it’s annoying not being able to control the components separately. By contrast, this AcmeJoy rabbit’s two motors can each be controlled individually, using their respective buttons. The motors are located in the clitoral arm and the vaginal arm; the anal arm doesn’t get its own motor, which I think was the right call, because the vibrations are easily conducted through the anal arm as-is and it probably would’ve been overkill to add a third motor.
  • The motor in the vaginal arm is surprisingly strong and even kind of rumbly. I would place it at a 4.5 out of 10 on the rumbly-to-buzzy scale, at least on its first setting; it gets buzzier as you turn it up. I found that the vaginal arm actually felt really good when I tried it out clitorally, for this reason, and it also felt excellent vaginally because the lower-pitched vibrations stimulated my G-spot/internal clit without numbing them out or irritating them with buzziness.
  • I don’t normally care for vibration patterns, but the ones in the vaginal arm of this toy are actually great. There are various types of pulsing which can all feel surprisingly similar to someone thrusting against my G-spot. Despite the disappointments of the clitoral motor (more on that below), these vaginal vibration patterns were so stimulating that this toy could theoretically get me off on a particularly sensitive day, even though I normally need top-tier clitoral stimulation for that.
  • The vaginal arm’s G-spot curve is well-designed. It reminds me of the Lelo Mona (which is excellent), its big head pressing up into my spot insistently but not annoyingly or aggressively. It feels good when kept in one place but can feel fantastic when it’s being thrusted.
  • On that note, this is a rabbit that I found works surprisingly well for thrusting, albeit only with short and relatively deep thrusts (the kind I tend to prefer anyway). The clitoral arm has some flex to it, as do the rabbit ears topping it off, so it moves with my body when I thrust – and the anal beads feel awesome as they move in and out, adding significant stimulation into the mix. I’m not normally the biggest fan of double penetration, as it can be overwhelming or uncomfortable, but it works well here, even with motion involved.
  • Related: One of the reasons I don’t usually like double penetration is that it makes me feel overstuffed down there, which makes it hard to focus on vaginal or anal pleasure. But the internal arms of this toy are well-shaped and well-proportioned (for my body, anyway) so I don’t experience any of that “Thanksgiving turkey” overstuffedness. The anal arm starts out at a diameter of about 0.55″ and is only about an inch at its widest, so it’s beginner-friendly and was comfy for me despite me not using anal toys super often.
  • Usually with double-penetration toys, it’s hard to figure out which order to insert the arms in – do you go vag first, butt second, or vice-versa? This difficulty can be compounded by a floppy anal arm writhing around as you’re trying to insert it. But those problems aren’t present here – the anal arm is firm enough to be inserted easily, but still flexible enough to feel comfortable, and it never took me more than a few seconds to slip it into my ass once the vaginal arm was already inside me. (You just gotta use a lot of lube on both arms, but that’s par for the course, especially with anal toys.)
  • Speaking of lube, the “beads” of the anal arm hold onto lube pretty well, so it doesn’t drip all over the place when I’m getting the toy ready for insertion. (I use a thick-ish water-based lube, though, so your mileage may vary if you’re using a thinner/runnier formula.)
  • I had no issue getting the clitoral arm to actually reach my clit, which is frequently a problem with other rabbits. The flexibility of that arm no doubt helped with this. Actually I found that the rabbit’s head, moreso than its ears, usually landed on my clit, but that’s fine with me and probably even feels better for my pleasure preferences.
  • The buttons are well-placed, intuitively organized, and can’t easily be pressed by accident. They also light up when the toy is on, so you can find them in the dark.
  • When you first turn the toy on, only the vaginal motor is engaged – you have to manually turn on the clitoral motor if you want to use it. I actually prefer this, because it works well for a warm-up; I can still feel the vibrations from the vaginal arm traveling through to the clitoral arm even when the clit motor is off, so it’s a good tease before I’m ready to use full-fledged vibrations on my clit.

 

Things I don’t like about this toy

  • My main complaint is that the clitoral motor kinda sucks. It’s not awful, but it’s definitely not as strong as the vaginal motor and is noticeably buzzier as well. I get that you have to pick your priorities, power-wise, when designing a multi-function sex toy, because motors only have so much power available to them – but IMO clitoral stimulation is more important for most people (and the research bears this out) so I’d prefer if companies allocated more power to the clitoral motor in these sorts of toys, if they have to choose one component to privilege in that way.
  • Relatedly, each motor has only 3 steady speeds of vibration before it switches to patterns – and while this doesn’t bother me on the vaginal arm because I actually prefer the patterns, I always find myself wishing there were more clitoral speeds and that the jumps between the existing speeds were less huge. It’s jarring, especially with the vibrations being buzzy.
  • When I angle the vibe so that its vaginal arm makes the best contact with my G-spot, the anal arm tends to slide out of me. This is a pretty predictable hazard of triple-stimulation toys: it’s really hard (if not impossible) to design a toy that will hit these 3 different erogenous zones regardless of anatomical differences between users, like the distance from the clit to the vaginal opening, or from the vag to the butthole.
  • It’s only splashproof, not waterproof.

Final thoughts

I was surprised by how close the AcmeJoy 3-in-1 rabbit got me to coming. Its blend of rumbly internal vibration patterns, consistent clitoral contact during thrusting, and extra-stimulating anal beads is… a lot, in a good way.

The problem is the clitoral motor, which is (for me, and many others) the most important part of a toy like this, and often the part that turns out to be a letdown. It needs to be stronger, rumblier, and to have a wider range of settings with smaller jumps between them.

But aside from that, this is pretty close to the ideal triple-stimulation rabbit, so it’s worth considering if that’s an intriguing idea for you. Especially at its current sale price of $27.99, I think it’s a good deal for how much sensation it serves up. You’d probably like it more than I did if you’re really into G-spot stimulation and/or anal play and find those activities stimulating enough on their own, or with minimal clit stim. ‘Cause let’s be honest, the clitoral bunny on this vibe is really not pulling its weight.

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of the product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: Acmejoy Lolita

Kate Sloan

I was suspicious of the Acmejoy Lolita from the start, because it’s repeatedly described on its product page as being suitable for beginners.

Granted, it’s not inherently wrong to describe a sex toy as beginner-friendly – I certainly do it pretty often. But when I say that about a toy, what I tend to mean is that it will give beginners an introduction to sex toys (or to a particular category of sex toy) that is both user-friendly and pleasurable. I’ve heard from far too many people who gave up on sex toys after trying one bad one, and so I recommend certain toys to beginners the same way I’d tell a friend to start with my favorite episode of a TV show I wanted them to watch. I want their first impression to be positive and enjoyable, and for them to not feel alienated by it.

But all too often in the sex toy industry, when a toy is described as beginner-friendly, what that means is: It has a friendly and unintimidating aesthetic, but produces weak sensations. There’s an assumption being made that sex toy newbies are far more sensitive than long-time toy users, and that therefore, a toy which might disappoint an experienced user would be just fine for a beginner. I don’t think this is true – and I think it’s insulting.

A truly beginner-friendly vibrator will have a wide range of settings, so that new users can experiment to figure out what sensations they like. It should be a toy they can enjoy right out of the box but that they can also “grow into,” if, for example, they find that they want stronger vibrations a few months down the road, or want to try using a vibe internally after only using it externally. It should be versatile, varied, and forgiving.

The Acmejoy Lolita is none of those things, sadly.

But let’s back up and start with the basics. What is this toy? The Lolita – also known as the “Baby Octopus,” which is a much more apt name, seeing as that is what it looks like – is a small clitoral stimulator with two different functions, sucking and licking. The “sucking” is pressure-wave stimulation, and the “licking” is the rapid movement of a mechanical silicone tongue.

Despite what the Lolita’s inaccurate marketing copy says (“Pleasure two of your hottest hot spots at once!”), you can’t use both of these functions simultaneously, because they are located at different places on the toy. This is a cool idea in theory – you could start with licking and escalate to sucking when you’re turned on enough, or vice-versa. It is a bit odd that both functions are always on if the toy is on (there’s only one button on the toy, which controls both functions at once), but it could be useful if you plan on switching back and forth quickly between the two functions during any given session. Two vulva-owners could also theoretically get into a scissor-ish position and each use one of the toy’s functions at once, but I think it would be challenging to get the angles right.

One other potential benefit to how this toy is designed: If you want to get “sucked” by the pressure-wave part of the toy, while looking at its little silicone tongue flapping, there is a way you can position the toy so that is possible. I sometimes found this vaguely hot, as someone who watches a lot of cunnilingus porn. 🤷🏻‍♀️

My immediate thought, upon discovering that there’s no way to only engage one function at a time, was, “Isn’t that taxing on the motor?” In my experience with low-end to mid-range dual- and triple-stimulation toys, each of the functions tends to weaken when you turn on the other functions, because the motor isn’t typically engineered well enough to keep pace when it’s doing that much at once. It’s like trying to run The Sims on an old laptop.

Indeed, I think the Lolita’s strength suffers substantially for there being no way to use the functions individually. It’s… disappointingly weak, to say the least. Both the sucking and the licking feel very surface-level and insubstantial. Like, yeah, I know they’re happening, but my clit just doesn’t care. In my testing sessions, I was barely able to get turned on, let alone get off. And that’s with weed and porn factored into the equation.

The tongue certainly felt better than the suction. It felt slightly more impactful and even felt a bit like a real tongue at times, albeit the tongue of someone who is teasing you by giving you maddeningly gentle head. The tongue slows down significantly when pressure is applied, though, so for me, this could only ever be a tease – and not a very good one, at that.

The suction is worse – its “mouth” barely encompasses any of my clit, sitting on just the very tip of it, and it doesn’t create much of a seal or generate much sensation at all. Both the sucking and licking functions have 7 intensity settings, and there’s little difference, sensation-wise, between the lowest one and the highest. Have I mentioned that this toy is weak?!

Image via Acmejoy

I have some other issues with this toy, but they’re smaller quibbles that would’ve been forgivable if not for the toy’s bigger flaws. Namely:

After you reach the 7th intensity setting, if you hit the toy’s one button again in hopes of amping up the sensations further, the toy just shuts off. NO TOY SHOULD EVER DO THIS. This is a recipe for ruined orgasms.

Because the toy is spherical, it rolls around a lot and frequently falls off my nightstand. It does come with a small plastic stand, shaped like octopus tentacles, which you can sit it on top of to circumvent this problem, but I’m just not gonna keep something like that on my nightstand all the time, so it’s often not there when I need it. The shape of the toy is also awkward to hold onto – my achy and uncoordinated hands often find it hard to press its one button – and due to its roundness and smoothness, it doesn’t stay securely in place if I try to hold it between my thighs for hands-free use.

When you plug the toy in to charge, there’s no indication that it is indeed charging. Nothing lights up or buzzes or anything. You just have to guess, and hope, and pray.

Image via Acmejoy

I don’t like writing negative reviews, but the Acmejoy Lolita just isn’t a good toy. They’re charging $45.99 for something that doesn’t even feel as good as my fingers alone. Feel free to peruse Acmejoy’s clitoral vibes section – I know for a fact that it contains some options that are way better than the Lolita, including at least one that can actually get me off. But this one ain’t it.

I think we do sex toy consumers a disservice when we say that a weak toy is the same thing as a beginner-friendly toy. I think beginners deserve better than to be condescended to, underserved, and scared off toys altogether by bad ones that didn’t need to be made. I think that if calling your toy “good for beginners” is the only way you can make it make sense, you should probably just go back to the drawing board and make a better toy. Beginners’ tastes aren’t homogeneous, and they won’t be beginners forever. Regardless of your experience level, some toys are just bad. And this, I’m sorry to say, is one of them.

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of the product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: Fun Factory Vim wand vibrator

Kate Sloan

Well, it finally happened. Fun Factory made a wand vibrator.

I love Fun Factory, and I love wand vibrators, so obviously I was hugely excited about this news. So excited that I texted my sex-blogger group chat in a frenzy. So excited that I sent my partner a cavalcade of pictures. So excited that I replied to the press release begging to be sent one, even though I wasn’t going to be able to attend the exclusive launch party at the Museum of Sex. (Fun Factory’s PR people were nice enough to send me the goodie bag I would have received if I’d gone, which included the wand itself as well as a scented candle, branded matches, and a bottle of Sutil Rich. Perfection.)

I’ve been testing out the wand these last few weeks, not just in dedicated testing sessions but also during phone sex with my partner. This is rare – the toys I get sent to review are usually bad-to-middling, and thus not worthy of inclusion in the lineup of toys I actually use in my “personal life.” But the Vim made the cut, and it’s probably going to be one of my go-to vibes from now on. Let’s talk about what makes it so great – and what I wish was different about it.

 

Things I like about the Fun Factory Vim

  • The most important thing to know is: it’s really fucking rumbly. Fun Factory talks a big game about how the Vim has a “unique weighted motor” which makes it feel rumbly from the lowest setting to the highest – and they’re actually telling the truth when they say that. It’s veeeery rumbly, meaning that its vibrations feel low-pitched, stimulate clitoral structures (or other erogenous zones) in a way that isn’t just skin-deep, and don’t cause the annoying numbness or irritation that buzzier vibes can. I have strong, deep, surprising, breathtaking orgasms with this toy, because it stimulates the deepest parts of my clit, not just the part on the outside.
  • The Vim’s 5 speeds start very low – a mild, barely perceptible trembling – and top out at a wildly powerful, jackhammer-esque intensity. For that reason, I think this would be a great first wand for someone who’s curious about them but worried they’ll feel too overpowering. A lot of other wands start strong, strong enough to scare off beginners and sensitive folks, but this one has such a wide range of intensities that just about anyone could enjoy it.
  • The majority of the wand’s weight is concentrated in its head. This allows it to feel rumblier and also means it’s not as tiring to hold onto the handle. As someone with chronic pain and muscle fatigue issues, I appreciate this.
  • The textured handle of the toy makes it easier to grip onto, even when I’ve got lube on my hands. Fantastic.
  • The shape of the Vim also makes it easier to hold than many other wands, because of how it curves inward toward the middle. I also just think this looks better/sexier/cuter than a straight-up-and-down wand.
  • I really love the aesthetic of the Vim. It’s friendly and fun, and the contrast between the matte silicone and the shiny plastic (or metal? not sure) on the neck and control panel is quite pretty. The one I got is a delightful shade of electric orange, and the other color option is a dignified deep blue. Both of these colors feel pretty non-gendered to me, too, which is always good to see.
  • Even at its highest speeds, the Vim is still reasonably quiet. Someone would definitely be able to tell you were using a vibrator if they were in the same room as you, sure, but behind a closed door (or with music on) it would be nearly imperceptible. This is extremely rare for a wand vibe this strong.
  • Most people seem to like when wand vibes have a bendy neck, so I’ll mention it here even though it’s not all that important to me personally. I will say, though, if you like to press down hard when you use vibrators, you might find that the neck of this toy has too much “give” for you to get the amount of pressure you want. (The head itself is firm, though, not squishy.)
  • As with most Fun Factory toys, the buttons on this wand are rounded, easy to locate, and make a satisfyingly responsive “click” that you can hear and feel when you press them. This is way better than toys that sometimes just don’t respond to button-presses (I’m lookin’ at you, Doxy) or that make you question whether you actually pressed the button or not. The Vim’s buttons also light up when the toy is in use, so you can find the button you’re looking for even in the dark.
  • The rumbliness of the Vim feels really good when held against the base of a dildo or butt plug that’s inside me, which can conveniently be done even while the vibe’s head is also stimulating my clit, because it’s big enough to reach both at once.
  • The Vim has an almost-unprecedented SIX-HOUR battery life. Absolutely wild. (For reference, the Magic Wand Rechargeable‘s battery life is about 3 hours.)
  • It has a travel-lock function, so it won’t turn on in your suitcase or backpack, etc. This is an uncommon feature in wand vibes of this size/strength, so it’s worth noting.

 

Things I don’t like about the Fun Factory Vim

  • My #1 annoyance with this toy is that once you reach the top speed, if you press the “+” button in the hopes of increasing the intensity further, it just moves on to vibration patterns. This can really kill the momentum of a session and could even ruin an orgasm if you weren’t expecting it. I have a strong preference for patterns being accessed via their own button that is separate from the buttons which control vibration intensity, for this reason. I almost never like vibration patterns or want to use them, and I’d love if it was impossible to switch to one accidentally.
  • The Vim starts at a medium intensity when you turn it on. This happens every time you turn it on. I strongly prefer when vibrators start at their lowest setting, because that is generally where I’ll be starting my session at, so I find it annoying that I always have to hit the “–” button a few times to get back to the lowest setting when I start using the Vim. However, if you tend to skip over the weakest settings on wand vibrators anyway, you might not mind this and might actually prefer it.
  • I don’t really understand how the Vim’s “customizable” speed adjustment works, and the manual doesn’t clarify sufficiently. The instructions seem to indicate that you can either short-press the “+” and “–” buttons to move between preset speeds or hold them down to “micro-adjust” until you reach your exact preferred vibration level, but sometimes holding them down doesn’t do anything and sometimes short-pressing them doesn’t do anything, and I don’t know why. 🤷🏻‍♀️
  • As with many wands, the bulkiness of this one means it’s not well-suited to missionary/face-to-face sex positions unless you adapt the position to make room for the toy. Its head is also large enough that it can get in the way a bit if I’m using a dildo that has a wide base.
  • While I mentioned above that I enjoy the wand’s center of gravity being in its head, there are times when this is somewhat annoying – mainly, when I’m trying to move the wand around my vulva (or to use it for general body massage), which can feel more tiring for my fibromyalgia-afflicted body than it would with a more balanced wand.
  • Fun Factory designed this toy so that the vibrations will mostly stay focused in the head, rather than vibrating the handle as with some other wands (which can be irritating, numbing, and even painful for me at times). If I hold the vibe by the end of its handle, the vibrations are indeed barely perceptible in my hand – but, when I hold it where it makes most sense to hold it – where the controls are located – some vibration definitely travels into my hand. It’s a minor issue but worth noting.
  • The textured head, which is designed to hold onto lube (which it does indeed do well), can be harder to clean than the smooth head of something like the Magic Wand Rechargeable.

How does the Vim compare to the Magic Wand Rechargeable?

  • The MWR has 4 speeds and 4 patterns. The Vim has 5 speeds and 3 patterns, although you can hold down the “+” and “–” buttons to “micro-adjust” the speed in any of its modes, a feature that the MWR doesn’t have.
  • The two are similar levels of rumbliness. The MWR feels stronger on its highest setting than the Vim does, but I think this is mostly because the MWR gets buzzier on its highest speeds (while retaining a good foundation of rumbliness at the same time), whereas the Vim stays pretty rumbly throughout. This is up to personal preference, but if I was masturbating on a particularly desensitized day (e.g. I’d already come twice that day, had used other powerful vibrators recently, or was on SSRIs), I’d probably pick the MWR over the Vim because that extra “top note” of buzziness is sometimes what I need to push me over the edge. However, for general/everyday use, I prefer a rumblier vibe, so I’d stick to the lower levels of the Vim or MWR and wouldn’t notice much of a difference, vibrations-wise.
  • The MWR is significantly louder than the Vim, especially on its higher settings.
  • Both the MWR and the Vim are not waterproof and should not be submerged in water, but the Vim’s instructions re: cleaning are much more chill/permissive about water getting on the toy. You’re supposed to wipe the MWR’s head clean, not wash it with water, but you can safely wash the Vim with soap and water as long as you don’t fully submerge it.
  • The MWR can be used while plugged in, which is a game-changer, especially if your vibe dies mid-session and you want to keep using it. However, as mentioned above, the Vim’s battery life is about twice as long as the MWR’s.
  • The MWR’s neck isn’t as bendy as the Vim’s, so it’s better if you like to apply a lot of pressure with vibrators.
  • The Vim is lighter, at 0.95 lbs to the MWR’s 1.3 lbs.
  • The Vim is a bit shorter: 12.3 inches, versus the MWR, which is 13 inches long.
  • The Vim’s handle is skinnier (about 4.25″ in circumference, measured around where the controls are located, versus the MWR’s 5.75″), which might make it better for you if you have small hands.
  • The Vim’s head is slightly longer and slimmer than the MWR’s. The difference is minor enough that I think some Magic Wand attachments would work on the Vim, although they wouldn’t fit perfectly/securely.
  • I tend to tilt my MWR on an angle when I use it, so the vibrations are focused into the corner of the head, making for a more pinpointed sensation, which my clit prefers. This isn’t possible with the Vim because its head is rounded; however, tilting it does narrow the area of contact somewhat so it’s not that much of an issue for me.
  • The Vim retails for $169 (nice) while the MWR retails for about $130.

 

Final thoughts

To be honest, I’m pretty attached to my Magic Wand Rechargeable. I think it’s hands-down one of the best wands on the market, in terms of engineering, vibration strength and quality, and even aesthetics (I mean, I got it tattooed on me, for heaven’s sake!).

But the Fun Factory Vim really gives it a run for its money. It’s sexy-looking, wildly rumbly, quiet, has an astonishingly long battery life, is easier to clean, and has a travel lock. If these features matter to you, I think you’d love it.

I might suggest you get an MWR instead if any (or multiple) of the following things are true for you:

  • You prefer (or don’t mind) a little buzziness at higher intensity levels
  • You prefer being able to use the wand even while it’s charging/even if it runs out of battery mid-session
  • You don’t want to pay $169 but can stomach paying $130
  • You like to press down hard with vibrators when you use them
  • You want a wand that will definitely be compatible with standard wand attachments and accessories
  • You have sensory issues, vulvodynia, etc. which would make a smooth wand head more appealing than a textured one
  • You prefer an aesthetic that’s more clinical/non-sexual or toned-down

But if you’ve got the cash to spare and you want a mega-rumbly, ultra-beautiful rechargeable wand, I can proudly recommend the Fun Factory Vim. It’s everything I hoped it would be.

 

This review was not sponsored, I just really like this toy.