Sex Toy Reviews

Review: SSA Glass Amethyst

Kate Sloan

The Amethyst has been on my wishlist for a long time. I could tell you I wanted it because it’s made of smooth, nonporous pyrex glass, or because of its G-spotting abilities… but honestly, the reason I wanted it is that it comes in a gorgeous, rich shade of royal blue – my favorite color in the world.

Okay, maybe that’s not the best justification for buying sex toys – but that’s okay, because this dildo turned out to be wonderful, despite the lack of sound reasoning that went into me requesting it.

Confession time: I’m something of a G-spotting beginner. Sure, I’ve tried the Ella, and doggie-style is my favorite position because of what it does to my insides, and I’ve had my boyfriend reduce me to a puddle of moaning bliss by forcefully rubbing my spot with his lube-drenched fingers… but somehow, I still feel like a total novice in this area. I can’t always accurately locate my own spot, and even with a partner, I find it very difficult to relax into the weird, new, sometimes uncomfortably intense sensations of G-spot play. Sometimes it feels like I’m approaching an orgasmic breakthrough, but then I get nervous that I’m going to pee on the sheets, so I freak out and tense up. Bummer.

Everyone tells me that I just need to relax, and put those worries out of my mind. And I figure the best way to do that is to do it alone. I’m certainly not going to judge me if I pee all over myself.

But back to the Amethyst… It’s gorgeous. Initially I thought it looked remarkably small, but of course, it’s not meant to be a filling fuck. It comes packaged in a red velvet pouch, perfect for storage.

The Amethyst is a dead ringer for the much-lauded Don Wands Bent Graduate – same shape, roughly the same size. Its G-spotting end, which I thought looked too curved and pointy-headed to possibly be comfortable (let alone pleasurable), actually slides right into me and locates my spot immediately. It’s disarmingly good at homing in on where it’s supposed to go.

The other end, just a series of ripples, feels very nice too, but I already have a dildo that’s almost identical to this side, so I didn’t find it especially exciting. It’s just enough yummy texture to be good for warm-up, but it can’t provide the G-spot pressure I crave when I get into the higher stages of arousal.

For me, at least, glass is a perfect material for a G-spotting toy. It’s firm and unyielding, so it can really press hard, unlike Ella. It’s completely nonporous, so any lube you use on it (water- or silicone-based) is going to work like a charm and make it ultra-slippery. It’s easy to sanitize, via boiling, antibacterial soap and water, or a 10% bleach rubdown. Plus, glass is just beautiful in a way that other toys can’t replicate.

I was definitely tempted to try out this toy anally, but the fact is, it’s not made for that. It doesn’t have a flared base, and because it’s so slippery, it would be easy to get it lost up there. But when even my ass is lusting for something, you know it’s a pretty hot toy.

I still haven’t been able to have G-spot orgasms or squirt, but this is the toy that’s brought me closest. It cups my spot, presses hard, is easy to thrust… It’s a G-spotter’s wet dream. I’ve had a few clitoral orgasms while using the Amethyst to squeeze and tease my G-spot, and it adds an extra layer of intensity to the experience.

I’d definitely recommend the Amethyst to someone who, like me, sometimes has trouble locating their G-spot, and/or just wants to apply a decent amount of pressure to it. It’s a toy that’s easy to care for, does its job well, looks great, and leaves me satisfied.

Review: Lelo Ella

Kate Sloan

Prior to buying Ella, my sex toy collection contained only one dildo. One. It’s rippled and made of glass, and while it’s not terribly exciting, I’ve never really wanted for more until recently.

It was Epiphora’s review that made me want Ella with a rabid, raging lust. ‘Piph tells a tale of G-spot glory, of her first non-clitoral orgasm, and ultimately of squirting. As someone who has only ever been able to come clitorally, and without waterworks, I knew I needed to try this toy.

Lelo’s packaging is, as always, a triumph. My all-white Ella came in a matching white slip-box, which contained Lelo’s signature thick black monogrammed cardboard box. I have five Lelos now (I know, I know, somebody stop me) and those boxes sure look gorgeous when they’re all stacked up. They’re like the sex toy equivalent of a set of elegant encyclopedias on the shelf.

My first impression, upon opening said box, was that the Ella is smaller than I expected. It’s made for G-spotting enthusiasts, not size queens – so if you crave fullness, this is not the toy for you.

Now, onto the good stuff… Jacking off with Ella is a joy. With a dollop of water-based lube (don’t use silicone on silicone!), even that awkward-looking G-spotting end slides right in. And once it’s in, it goes right for its goal: the G-spot. Depending on your anatomy, you may find that you need to push the toy in a little deeper or pull it out a little bit to help it find your spot – but mine can be found by Ella right away, like magic.

I like this toy a lot, but even as the G-spotting novice that I am, I can tell that it doesn’t do its job perfectly, although it does do it quite well. Ella’s made of 100% silicone – a blessing in terms of safety and hygiene, but not so great if you want something firm. The toy’s body is hard and practically unyielding, but the neck has some give to it, which makes it difficult to put a lot of pressure on the G-spot. It’s certainly easier to apply pressure with Ella than it was with my fingers, or my curveless glass dildo, but it’s not as easy as it would be with a completely rigid toy.

Still, there are other times when the silicone feels too hard. Ella hits my G-spot so nicely that it makes me want to thrust much faster, and when I do that, the toy’s pointy end sometimes jabs into my cervix, momentarily killing the mood. This is okay – I’ve learned to avoid thrusting Ella too deeply – but it does give the toy a learning curve and a risk of pain that some may not like.

But overall, the silicone formulation is pretty awesome. I’ve used the Ella several times while on my period, with it ending up covered in reddish-brownish stains, and all of the blood washed right off with soap and hot water. No stains. No discoloration. Nada. Bravo, Lelo!

So while Ella certainly does the trick, and can add some decent G-spot pressure to my clitoral orgasms, I don’t think it has the power to make me come all by itself. I’ll keep trying, but I think I’ll have to wait until I get my hands on a Pure Wand before I’ll be able to fairly judge my own orgasmic capacity.

Review: ID Frutopia mango-flavoured lube

Kate Sloan

Flavoured lubricant has never particularly excited me. Maybe it’s because, the second time I ever had sex with anyone, my then-girlfriend thoroughly doused both our vulvae in blueberry cheesecake-flavoured lube just for fun, resulting in a giggly and unsatisfying scissoring session. I’ve since tried a few other kinds and have never found them all that thrilling. But I can honestly say that ID’s “mango passion”-flavoured offering has completely changed my mind about what flavoured lubes can do.

Before “taking it for a spin,” my boyfriend and I both tasted the ID lube on our fingers and agreed that it is totally delicious. It really does taste like what it’s supposed to taste like – not a watered-down, medicinal version of that flavor. I practically wanted to drink the stuff out of the bottle, so I was excited to see how it would perform on my man’s already-yummy cock.

I squeezed out a few pumps of mango goodness onto his shaft. (The pump bottle dispenses a pretty perfect amount of fluid each time, without squirting or clogging – victory!) I immediately noticed that this lube’s scent carries a fair distance – I could smell mango from arm’s length, an appetizing fragrance that made me want to dive right in.

A lot of flavoured lubes fail when blended with the natural taste of genitalia, but this one is just fine in that respect. Warmed up by my man’s skin, ID tastes like a rich mango liqueur. It sweetens and partially masks some flavours that are occasionally less than sweet, like pre-cum, “balls musk,” and even semen.

The simple fact is, this lube does what a flavoured lube should do – it makes a lover’s junk into candy. And that, of course, translates into increased enthusiasm from the partner giving oral. Everyone wins! My boyfriend can confirm that the BJs I’ve given using this mango deliciousness have been some of my best performances, leading to hot, spurty, convulse-y orgasms on his part.

Still, though, ID’s lube isn’t flawless. It gets gummy within two or three minutes if left alone – this is common for water-based lubes – but can be revitalized with a little moisture (which, trust me, you’ll be licking it a lot, so this won’t be a problem for most people). It also tends to get really sticky and doesn’t wipe off easily – I have to go wash my hands after finishing up, when my boyfriend really just wants to cuddle with me. The mango scent lingers on my hands even after washing, which may be a pro or a con for you, depending on how you feel about having fruity fingers.

Because this lube contains glycerin, I don’t recommend that anyone put it on their vulva, for oral sex, penetration, or otherwise, as glycerin can lead to nasty yeast infections for those of us who are susceptible to them. However, us ladyfolk can still reap the benefits of this lube by smearing it on our nipples and commanding someone to lick it off, which I’m sure they’ll be delighted to do.

ID’s Frutopia collection contains several other flavours, including banana, raspberry, strawberry, and watermelon. It’s a great addition to foreplay, making your sexytimes even more pleasing to the palate!

Thanks so much to Sex Toys Canada for making my sex life sweeter!

Review: Doc Johnson White Nights Super Bullet

Kate Sloan

When the folks at Sex Toys Canada offered to send me a bullet vibrator, I thought they meant something more like this – tiny, silver, cheap, one-speed. I was pleasantly surprised when, instead, I received the Doc Johnson White Nights Super Bullet, which is bigger than my hand, and as girthy as a rather gifted cock. It’s certainly a bullet, but not a run-of-the-mill one by any means.

The first thing that struck me about this toy, other than the unexpected size, is the material. The Super Bullet is made of ABS plastic, the same phthalate-free, silky-smooth material frequently used by Lelo. As a diehard Lelo fangirl, I found the choice in material very appealing, as it’s associated with luxury and pleasure in my mind. And, conveniently, ABS plastic is compatible with any kind of lube you choose to use with it, and can be cleaned with soap and water.

I encountered my first issue with the Super Bullet when I went to load the batteries. The battery compartment takes a few good shakes before it’ll slide out. The positive and negative indicators on the chamber are confusing, so I had to do some experimenting before I figured out the way the batteries need to be inserted (hint: the positive sides go where the springs are, despite what the little icons would have you believe). Line up the arrow sticker on the battery chamber with the arrow sticker inside the toy, slide it in, screw it on, and you’re good to go.

I believe my Super Bullet has a defect, which is that the on/off button doesn’t seem to do its job. It’s supposed to cycle through the toy’s three speeds and then turn the toy off when pressed a fourth time. However, no matter what I try, I cannot get it to do this. It went through the speeds when I first got it, but wouldn’t turn off. Now, it seems to be stuck on one of the speeds – I have no idea which – and I have to unscrew the battery end slightly to get it to turn off. Needless to say, this is a pretty annoying problem, but I’m told that it’s not normal for this toy.

That said, I can look past a vibrator’s flaws as long as it still vibrates, which this one luckily does. After all, even luxury sex toy company Jimmyjane has a toy, the Little Chroma, which has only one speed and needs to be unscrewed to be turned off – and this is marketed as beautiful simplicity. Having read that the Little Chroma’s intensity can be controlled by which part of the toy you apply to your body (with the motor, and therefore the highest level of vibration, being located in the tip), I decided to try out the same principle with the Super Bullet.

The trouble is, though, that the vibrations travel through the entire bullet. There doesn’t seem to be one particular part of the toy where the sensation is most intense. In fact, I can feel the vibrations in my hand as much as I can in my clit, regardless of placement or positioning. This leads to Numb Hand Syndrome eventually – not so fun.

The Super Bullet feels pretty good on my clit for a while, and it can almost bring me to orgasm, but not quite. I’m the type of girl who needs to bump up a vibe’s intensity as I approach climax, and with only one functioning speed, that’s hard to do. So clitorally, this toy has led to mostly frustration for me. (On the plus side, it is a fairly quiet vibe, so the only sounds to be heard from my bedroom were my groans of irritation.)

Vaginally, though, it feels damn grand. Indeed, when I told my boyfriend I was planning on trying out the Super Bullet internally, he said, “There’s no way that thing’ll fit inside you,” but with adequate warm-up and lube, it’s surprisingly easy to get it in – all five of its insertable inches. And once it’s in, it’s a wonderful complement to any clit play I do at the same time. Using my beloved Turbo Glider on my clit while the Super Bullet fills up my insides can lead to earthshattering orgasms, as my pussy muscles clench down on the thick, solid bullet. This also holds true when I use my boyfriend’s tongue instead of the Turbo Glider (if you’ve never had someone use a toy on you while going down on you, you are missing out on some seriously stellar orgasms!).

Overall, I’m not sure how I feel about my Super Bullet. It has more than its fair share of problems – controls defect, overly diffuse and not-quite-strong-enough vibrations, finicky battery chamber, and gets hot quickly – but it also has several features that I appreciate, like being waterproof, smooth, and the perfect size to entertain my pussy while I play with my clit. And there are some things about it that I’m utterly ambivalent about, like its removable wrist strap (do people drop sex toys so often that we need a strap to prevent this problem?). Overall, I think this toy would be a decent choice for a beginner wanting to test out vibrations for the first time, but a seasoned pro would risk frustration over the toy’s more problematic points.

Many thanks to the good people at Sex Toys Canada for sending me this toy to review! Your discreet shipping and marvelous customer service make me all smiley inside.

Ask Girly Juice: Dos and Don’ts of Lube

Kate Sloan

I volunteer regularly at a sex and relationships hotline. Many of the questions we get are repeats; a lot of people same to have the same worries and inquiries. One thing I’ve been asked on multiple occasions is, “Is it okay to use [insert substance here] as lube?” Since it’s perplexing that so many people don’t know what are and are not suitable lubricant choices, I decided to compile my knowledge on the subject here.

Lube and vaginas:

If you’re planning on having vaginal sex, avoid lubes which contain sugar and/or glycerin. These ingredients can cause nasty yeast infections because of the way they interact with the naturally occurring bacteria in a vagina. You can use flavored lube while going down on your lady, as long as you make sure that it’s free of sugar and glycerin.

This also means that you shouldn’t use chocolate, peanut butter, or any other sweet food or drink in your sexytimes if a vagina will be involved. I know it sounds sexy to dribble chocolate sauce all over your lover’s vulva and lick it off, but she won’t think it’s so sexy when she wakes up a couple days later with a raging case of the yeastie beasties.

It’s also not a great idea to use non-natural oils as lube for vaginal sex, because that kind of oil can trap bacteria in the vagina and cause infections as well. Lightweight, natural oils like coconut and grapeseed are fine, but stay away from heavier options like mineral oil/petroleum jelly. Many silicone-based lubes feel and behave like oil, so they might be a better option if you like that oily consistency.

Lube and condoms:

Condoms cannot be used with oil-based lubes (petroleum jelly, coconut oil, what have you) because oil causes the latex to disintegrate. It can be fun to watch this happen, but you know what’s not fun? Realizing that you might have been exposed to an STI or sperm because the condom dissolved.

Lube and anuses:

Many people prefer to choose a thicker, longer-lasting lube for their anal sex needs, because anuses don’t self-lubricate and so you’ll want something that can last the entire length of the sex act.

Make sure never to use “numbing” products that claim to make anal sex easier, because if you (or your partner) can’t feel the pain, you won’t know if and when you’re seriously injuring yourself.

Lube and toys:

If you’re not sure what material your sex toys are made of, now would be a good time to check. Some silicone toys are incompatible with some silicone-based lubes – the toy may become permanently sticky or tacky in the place where the lube touched it. If you’re not sure, do a spot test on the base of the toy and wait a few minutes to see if anything disastrous happens. In any case, water-based lube is probably a better choice for you if you use silicone toys a lot.

If a toy is made of glass, stainless steel, wood, or plastic, however, then have no fear – just about any kind of lube should work on these toy materials. But again, if ever in doubt, do a spot test.

My lube recommendations:

Water-based: Blossom Organics, a Canadian-made, female-oriented, aloe-heavy lube that’s very soothing and has a realistic texture.

Silicone-based: Pjur Bodyglide, a sexy, smooth lube that is my go-to choice for handjobs especially.

Oil-based: unrefined coconut oil, available at your local health food store. Can conveniently double as a moisturizer, hair conditioner, even deodorant.

If you have a sex-related question for me, please don’t hesitate to ask!