Blogging & Writing

“A Song A Week” Challenge: Monthly Recap 1 of 12

Kate Sloan

At the beginning of 2022, I became acutely aware of how out of touch I’d been with a previous favorite hobby of mine, making music. I’ve always covered other people’s songs a lot but haven’t done nearly as much songwriting in adulthood as I did during my teen years and early twenties, when I would sometimes write multiple songs a month. So I challenged myself to write one song a week in 2022. They don’t have to be great, or even good; they just have to be songs.

As part of the challenge, I’ve been keeping a “songwriting diary” in which I reflect on the process involved in writing each song. Here are January’s songs, including videos, lyrics, and the diary entries I wrote about how they were created. Enjoy!

Song 1/52: “January 1st”

 

Lyrics:

There’s always a sense, on January 1st
That things will get better or things will get worse
A twist in the plot, a fulcrum for change
If you don’t get better, then you’ll only age
At least that’s what they say

Chorus:
Will I ever chill and be content?
Will I live in the moment, as if I knew what that meant?
Wish I knew what that meant

A list of my goals, as long as my arm
Debatable whether they help or they harm
The future is bleak and scary to ponder
I’d solve all its troubles if my mind wouldn’t wander

(repeat chorus)

It’d be easier to breathe
If dread and doubt stopped hounding me
It’d be easier to live
If something finally had to give

(repeat chorus)

 

Songwriting diary:

Hey bitch, some things to remember about this songwriting process:

  1. You wrote the whole thing in less than 30 minutes, after listening to part of an interview with Paul McCartney about songwriting.
  2. The melody and words of the first part came to you organically and you built from there.
  3. There were 2-3 moments when you considered stopping/scrapping it because it wasn’t working, but you pushed through and deliberately finished it anyway.
  4. You’d set out thinking it was a song in E, but you listened to the melodies your voice naturally sang and realized it was in B.
  5. You used Rhymezone.com, Thesaurus.com, and your voice memo app, but otherwise ignored your phone throughout the process.

(Maybe I should do a little postmortem journal entry like this for all this year’s songs…)

Song 2/52: “Bi Enough”

 

Lyrics:

Chorus:
Am I bi enough?
What would it mean to be bi enough?
Do I wear enough rainbows? Did I buy enough?
How else can I prove that I’m bi enough?

I met this cute guy
We were hitting it off – he was good in bed
I said, “Hey, I’m bi”
And watched his eyes pop right out of his head

I’m sick of the stereotypes
I’m sick of the biphobic jokes
Don’t you know that jokes are supposed to be funny, folks?

(repeat chorus)

I met this cute gal
We were hitting it off, til it went awry
I told her “I’m bisexual”
She broke my heart, she thought I’d leave her for a guy

I’m sick of the stigma and shame
I’m so sick of being erased
Being a bigot to bi folks is a fucking waste

(repeat chorus)

There might never come a day
When impostor syndrome goes away
So I guess it’s up to me
To be the best bi I can be

Am I bi enough?
Maybe we don’t ask about the “why” enough
Like why I even wonder if I’m bi enough
By the way, if you are bi, you’re bi enough

 

Songwriting diary:

Had been chatting with my therapist about bisexual impostor syndrome and later had the thought that I should stop doubting my queerness because I am clearly “a gay-ass grown woman,” a phrase that I wrote into a line that actually didn’t even make it into the final song because the different components felt too separate so I wrote a different prechorus instead. (It originally went, “Never cared much about your sex chromosome/ I’m a gay-ass grown woman with impostor syndrome.”)

The melody of the chorus came naturally, like I was hearing it in my head, as these things often do. Verses were similar. I returned to it the day after writing most of it to write the new prechoruses and bridge, which made it much better, I think.

Song 3/52: “Old Friend”

 

Lyrics:

I still love you, my old friend
I know we said we’d call it quits
Said I’d gotten over you again
I guess my heart is on the fritz

Do you miss my kisses?
And being so much closer?
Do I know what this is?
I’m sorry to say no, sir

If we gave it one more shot
I wonder what we’d find
I still think you’re smart and hot
You haven’t changed my mind

Do you ever think of me
When you’re in bed beside your lady?
Or am I not your cup of tea?
Not a yes, but maybe

I wish I had a magic spell
I wish I had a wand of gold
You warm me up, I wish you well
I always left you cold

 

Songwriting diary:

Was thinking about how I used to feel, when I was about 23 and in hopeless unrequited love with a friend of mine, which was awful. (Conjuring up old emotional memories is helpful for songwriting when one’s current emotional situation isn’t quite as dramatic.)

I didn’t really like this song that much when I wrote the first draft of it on December 23rd. Set it aside and worked on other stuff instead.

But then on January 13th I had it stuck in my head, listened to it several times, and decided all it needed was for me to 1) rewrite a couple lines of lyrics and 2) nail down the weird-ass melody. I could hear how I wanted it to sound in my head but hadn’t nailed the singing of it. So I practiced the odd interval jumps until I more-or-less had it, and it sounded much better.

Once again, this challenge is teaching me that a big part of writing songs is FINISHING songs – I’ve always been okay at generating initial ideas, but the more difficult and sophisticated process of pushing through doubt, uncertainty, etc. to finish the song is the part I’ve always been less good at, and this challenge is helping me hone that skill especially.

Song 4/52: “Spin the Bottle”

 

Lyrics:

Spin the bottle, going ’round the circle
Shyness is my burden and my hurdle
When it lands on me
I look around and see who I see:
A boy who sparkles, dressed in royal purple

And he’s got a friendly face
He smells like beer and leather
And I’m feeling out of place
We put our lips together
The voice inside my head
Goes quiet as a whisper
And my only thought instead
Is “Wow, what a good kisser”

Spin the Bottle captures my attention
Its magic can defy my comprehension
When it lands on me
I kiss the first lady I see
Her lips are from a lovelier dimension

And I kiss her through a grin
My senses are elated
And I try to take her in
I’m so intoxicated
Am I doing what I’m s’posed to?
I guess it doesn’t matter
‘Cause this goddess I’m so close to
Her kiss can kill the chatter

Spin the Bottle parties make me nervous
But nervousness is nice when it’s on purpose

 

Songwriting diary:

A glance through my Facebook “memories” reminded me about these parties I used to go to in my early twenties, where people would play Spin the Bottle and Truth or Dare. It was one of the only instances I’ve ever experienced of “icebreaker games” actually breaking the ice, i.e. functioning as a way for shy wallflowers like me to actually integrate themselves into the social groups present at the party even if we knew absolutely no one when we arrived.

I truly don’t remember how this song was written because I went into a fugue-y flow state as soon as I started. But I came back to it a day or two later to fix up some of the lyrics (“she’s strong, with velvet skin” is on the cutting room floor, among other things, because it sounded awkward in my mouth). Spent a while contemplating whether it needed a bridge, a departure into a totally different mood or style somewhere in the middle, but ultimately I like how it has this plodding rhythm that feels like my hardened heartbeat when my turn is coming up soon in a game of Spin the Bottle.

Song 5/52: “Brave Little Girl”

 

Lyrics:

Everything is scary now – the streets, the heat, the news
We’re all feeling wary now – the fright is like a bruise

When will our cortisol calm back down?
Will we see peace and accord?
When will we stop feeling broken-down?
Don’t we deserve a reward?

Chorus:
Where’s my treat? I have been a brave little girl!
Strong and sweet – aren’t I a peach? Aren’t I a pearl?
Nose to the grindstone, pedal to the metal
I have got a backbone, I will never settle
Where’s my treat? I have been a brave, brave little girl!

Sorry I ignored your text – it’s next, I swear
It’s just that I’m distracted – it’s not that I don’t care

All my excuses are nothing new
I’m not in the mood for flirtation
We’re getting tired of just getting through
Don’t we deserve compensation?

(repeat chorus)

Imagine a sunny day
I know it seems far away
But hold the thought in your head
Without hope, we’re basically dead

(repeat chorus)

 

Songwriting diary:

Wrote this based on the prompt “Where’s my treat? I have been a brave little girl!” which was given to me by one of my Instagram followers (not sure if they want to be identified so I have redacted their username here). I had no idea when I wrote this that the phrase is apparently a TikTok meme, but the song definitely fits the vibe that many TikTokers are giving the phrase so I think it works.

I was looking for the natural musicality of the phrase, listening for its natural rhythm, which is an idea I picked up from Jeff Tweedy’s book How to Write One Song. I made a recording of the very first thing I sang, and it was kind of an ideal melody so I built from there.

Took me about 45 minutes to write the rest of it. I listened very hard to the song in my head, which suggested to me the rhythms before I even wrote words for them, as sometimes happens. The key change in the bridge involved listening to the chords in my mind and just figuring out what they were, which was the most time-consuming part of the process.

I never really consciously decided to write about COVID, the current state of the world, etc.  but a lot of these songs at least allude to it, because how could they not?

How I Find Creative Inspiration When Life Becomes Monotonous

Kate Sloan

I’ve been reading a lot of books and articles on songwriting lately as I dive back into it for my 2022 “A Song A Week” challenge, and there’s a pretty fundamental divide between people who think “writer’s block” is a bullshit excuse you give when you just don’t wanna sit and write, and people who think a lack of inspiration is a valid reason for not writing.

I fall on different sides of this debate depending on when you ask me, and what art form we’re talking about (I write nonfiction, fiction, poetry, and songs, all of which have somewhat different needs in terms of inspiration). But for the most part, I believe inspiration is something you can conjure, not necessarily something you have to wait around for, praying and pondering until it “strikes.” The important thing to know is: your life and thoughts aren’t always going to be rife with creative prompts, but that doesn’t mean other people’s lives and thoughts can’t inspire you.

This has been a vital lesson for me throughout my life, but especially when I was essentially trapped inside for extended periods, as with many Canadian winters as a freelancer (including this one, during a pandemic), or when I was so depressed and demotivated that my own life temporarily contained none of the passion and intrigue that would normally inspire me. It’s then that I have to be extra proactive about finding inspiration and incorporating it into my work.

Here are some methods I use, all of which may work better for some art forms than others, but all of which can always stir something inside me, something that might transform into a blog post or an essay or a poem or a song.

 

1. Put yourself in someone else’s shoes

This is so crucial. I’ve been doing this for a long time. When my own romantic life was so barren as a teen that I struggled to find any inspiration for songs, for example, I would watch romantic TV shows or read romantic fanfiction and write from the headspace of a beloved fictional character about their situation.

You can “mind-meld” with a character like this, or with a real person (e.g. “How does Ariana Grande feel about all the Pete Davidson memes popping up everywhere?”), or with a theoretical person (e.g. “How do I think 19th-century sea captains, 20th-century party strippers, or 21st-century high school kids might feel about this pandemic?”). In a way, I think this exercise is really about getting more in touch with your own thoughts through the lens of someone else’s.

 

2. Borrow someone else’s idea

Now, I am not advocating for plagiarism (I’m strongly against it, in fact), but rather for the creative process of incorporating a kernel from someone else’s creation into something of your own.

Sometimes, for example, I try to write new lyrics for a song I already know and love, replicating the rhythm and meter but changing all of the words and what the song is about – and once I have my lyrics, then I can make an entirely new melody for them. I might also use a famous quote as a jumping-off point for an essay (always attributed), write ruminations on topics other writers are better known for, or build on someone else’s argument (again, crediting them as appropriate).

We’re all standing on the shoulders of giants, as the old saying goes – and like the author Austin Kleon argues in his book Steal Like an Artist, repurposing bits and pieces of other people’s work into your own is a time-honored tradition and is actually fundamental to how art functions.

 

3. Work in someone else’s style

In high school I had some friends who were also songwriters. One of them, Kaiya, wrote meandering, esoteric folk-blues songs that I loved, but that were utterly different from my own style, which was plainspoken, quirky, and musical theatre-inspired. At one point, each of us challenged the other to write a song in the other person’s style. In some ways it was difficult – I couldn’t rely on any of my usual tricks or formulas, and had to dig deeper and really think about each and every choice – but in other ways it was easy, because I knew my friend’s musical style so well that I could almost hear her in my head, singing and strumming, showing me where to take the song next.

Still to this day, when I’m feeling uninspired, sometimes I’ll pick up a book by a writer with a distinctive style – anyone from British neurologist Oliver Sacks to hedonistic poetess Rachel Rabbit White – and flip through until I anchor their voice in my mind. And then I’ll start writing, on whatever topic I feel like tackling, channelling my writerly muse all the while. Often I end up making changes in the editing stage, bringing the piece back into the land of me-ness, but sometimes doing an “impression” of another writer is the best way for me to get the gears turning in the first place.

 

4. Revisit the past

Even if nothing much is going on in your life right now, there are always memories you can pull from. For example, I can dependably write about first dates and heartbreaks just about any time, because those memories are so vivid for me, even though it’s been years since either one of those things happened to me.

 

5. Just make stuff up

Look, as long as you’re not trying to pass off fiction as nonfiction, you can make up whatever the hell you want. Sometimes when I want to write about a sexual subject but don’t know how to approach it, I might write a fiction vignette or erotica story, featuring totally invented characters in the very situation I’m pondering. Likewise, when I feel utterly uninspired but want to write a song, I do what people like Regina Spektor do, and just write one about a made-up person’s life/brain/situation.

It might seem like it would be hard to access any real insight or poignancy or authenticity when doing this, but actually I find that creative inventions often act as a prism, helping me see inside my own life and thoughts more clearly, much in the same way that a tarot reading doesn’t necessarily “predict the future” but can help you reflect on your own patterns and associations.

 

Where do you pull inspiration from when you’re stuck?

 

This post was sponsored. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

12 Days of Girly Juice 2021: 11 Favorite Blog Posts

Kate Sloan

While I spent a lot of this year writing books, doing book promotion, and writing articles for other publications, this blog was still my foremost and favorite home on the internet (in large part because my audience here is so awesome!!). Here are my 11 favorite posts that I published in 2021; maybe you’ll file these away and flip through ’em over the holidays, or send the links to someone you think needs to read them!

 

I’m a sentimental creature, so when I realized it had been over 10 years since one of my favorite musical works was released, I knew I had to write a post about it. “My Favorite Album is a Decade Old (& Absurdly Romantic)” is my love letter to an EP called Feathers by an artist named Jeremy Larson, whose music touches my heart and makes winter mornings more bearable. This piece is ostensibly about music but really it’s about love, romanticism, optimism, and obsession (frequent themes of this blog, if you haven’t noticed!).

It was interesting to revisit memories from 2011 while writing this post. In many ways, my life now is a bigger, brighter echo of what my life was like then: I’m still deeply in love with a very kind human (albeit a different one), I’m still optimistic about my prospects, and I’m still easily swept up in big feelings about beautiful art like Feathers.

 

I wrote “I Felt Guilty About Findom, Until I Didn’t” while struggling with the question of whether I could really consider myself a financial domination kinkster if I mostly liked receiving presents for materialistic reasons rather than sexual ones. Ultimately I think the answer is yes, because my spouse and I play with findom in a sexual/kinky way, even if it’s not always a directly sexual experience for me.

In any case, findom played a big role in helping me build self-confidence as a dominant this year. I love stepping into the Veruca Salt-esque role of a little girl who likes – nay, demands – to be spoiled by her devoted daddy, and findom gave me an avenue to do that while also building my collections of fancy bags and shoes. It’s a win-win!

 

Like many folks, I spent a lot of this year at home, so loungewear was of utmost importance. My chronic pain, fatigue, and other symptoms also ebbed and flowed (mostly flowed) a fair bit this year. These two factors inspired me to write “Building a Chronic Illness Wardrobe,” a piece that lists and discusses several of the most indispensable items in my pain-friendly loungewear collection.

I’m sure I’ll continue rocking modal slips, cashmere sweaters, and warm Ugg boots throughout the winter, fashion police be damned.

 

Have I talked about squirting in every medium available to me? Yes. Will I keep talking about it? Also yes. There are still way too many people who believe that squirt is pee (or that pee cannot be a sexualized fluid, for that matter), which is why I wrote “8 Reasons the ‘Squirt is Pee’ Study is Bad.”

A huge amount of sexual science is deeply entangled with sexism (not to mention racism, cissexism, heteronormativity, ableism, and so on), and I think the Salama study is one example of this. The researchers’ own sexist preconceived notions seem to have shaped the way they interpreted the results of the study, leading to widespread dissemination of the lie that everyone who squirts is actually peeing. I hope my rebuttal can help change some minds on this, even if only a few.

 

In the run-up to my first book being launched, I started thinking about the roles I hoped it would play in people’s lives, which is what inspired “Kinky Cuties & Their Book-Spurred Adventures.” Through little vignettes about fictional characters, it explores some of the ways a person could use a book like mine to broaden their sexual horizons, come out to a partner about a kink, and connect with new friends.

It’s been really touching to see real people doing stuff like this with my book in the real world. I love you all!

 

Although I’ve been writing about my sex life on the internet for about a decade, occasionally I still share things that I’ve never felt brave enough to share before. “Cybersex in Roleplaying Games Made Me Who I Am” was a disclosure along those lines; it chronicled some of my earliest sexual adventures on the internet, which took place before I was considered old enough to do such things. But I didn’t experience those cyber-encounters as a violation – for me, they were a revelation.

Underage sexuality is a tricky topic to talk about, but I believe strongly that teens and preteens can and do have sexualities. They’re not the same as adult sexualities, of course, and thus can’t be used (as some people insist on using them) as justification for abuse and assault of minors by adults. But I think we do a disservice to youth when we act as if they could not possibly be sexual beings until they turn 18, which is part of why I share my own stories of sexual exploration prior to “coming of age.”

 

Sometimes, people ask me the same questions over and over again for so long that I decide to address them once and for all. Hence writing “A Penis Size FAQ.”

The truth about penis size is something that many people with penises seem to have a hard time accepting, whether because of deep-seated insecurities, cultural influences, trust issues, or some combination thereof, but it really is this simple: some people care about penis size and some people don’t. Some people like bigger ones, some like smaller ones, some like average-sized ones, some don’t care. That’s the main thrust of my argument (so to speak) in the FAQ. I hope it helps people.

 

Being in a pandemic really forced me to confront my demisexuality, because it turns out that when I have very few opportunities to form new emotional connections with people, I have little-to-no desire to have sex with any new people either. One of the posts I wrote about demisexuality this year was “Can Demisexuals Have Casual Sex? (& If So, How?!)” and it covered some of the most common questions I get asked about this identity.

Will I ever have casual sex again? Probably. Will it be different from how I used to have it pre-COVID? Almost certainly. This post was an opportunity to think through my own relationship to casual sex and how I can make sure it’s satisfying and uplifting for both me and my partner(s), despite the “constraints” (if one could call them that) of being demisexual.

 

I hardly ever publish guest posts; when I do, they’re only ever written by people I know personally and have asked to write something for my blog. “Guest Review: Tantaly Monroe Realistic Sex Doll” was one such post, and it’s gotta be one of my fave things I’ve published here all year, or maybe ever. It was written by a friend of mine who is frankly hilarious, and contains so many turns of phrase that make me howl with laughter, like when he refers to the sex doll’s plastic packaging as a “powder-coated placenta” or describes the doll after use as “a buxom semen-filled effigy.”

Periodically, sex doll companies reach out to me to ask about getting a review published, and at this point I’ll probably have to reach out to yet another friend if I get another request like this, because once you have one sex doll, you probably don’t have room in your home for another. Being my friend has its perks, I guess 😂

 

I covered a topic I felt very strongly about in “5 Reasons No One Should Spank Their Kids.” It’s filled with scientific research, philosophical arguments, and my own opinions on the matter.

Going to trauma therapy for the past year and a half has made me more aware than ever of the ways my childhood punishments have stuck with me, making me more fearful, distrustful, and easily triggered than I would have otherwise been. It’s nice to see how much science exists now to back up the belief I’ve held since childhood that nonconsensual spanking is ineffective, harmful, and indefensible.

 

Finally, I gotta include “Review: Balldo” on this list. It’s not often that I get to write a review with this much silliness and wonderment in it. Here’s hoping I get to try lots of absurd toys like this one in 2022 as well!

 

Thanks so much for reading my words this year, babes. I appreciate every single one of you! ❤️

My Book is Out!! Here’s Some Fun Facts About “101 Kinky Things”…

Kate Sloan

Dear sweet readers, I am thrilled to announce that my first book, 101 Kinky Things Even You Can Do, is officially out worldwide as of today!!!

So many of you have cheered me on throughout the process of writing, editing, and promoting this book, and for that I am forever grateful. It’s been inexpressibly exciting to see you folks starting to receive your copies of the book and posting about it on social media or emailing me to let me know you got your copy. My heart is so full! 💖

To celebrate the book on its “birthday,” here are some random trivia items about 101 Kinky Things; think of it like the director’s commentary of my cute little book!

  • 101 Kinky Things is an elegant hardcover with a decent amount of heft, making it a surprisingly fantastic spanking implement! (I’m not the only one who thinks so…)
  • While the book is aimed at beginners to kink, I’ve received lots of feedback from super-kinky friends of mine who’ve noted that even they found stuff in this book that inspired them to try new things! It’s my hope that this can be a helpful text for any kinky or kink-curious person, regardless of where they are on their personal kink journey.
  • It’s also explicitly meant to be a useful resource whether or not you have a partner. Many of the suggestions given in the book are doable by yourself if you don’t have, or don’t want, a partner to do them with.
  • I finished writing the first draft of my manuscript way back in January 2020 – so, oddly enough, it was written before the coronavirus really ramped up where I live, and is coming out just as things are returning to some semblance of normalcy there vis-à-vis the pandemic. Cool!
  • One of the lengthiest parts of the process was the search for an illustrator. We wanted someone whose portfolio already included sexy stuff, so we could be sure they’d be comfortable with the subject matter. Eventually we settled on Ewa Żak, and I’m SO glad – her illustrations are sensual, sexy, body-positive, diverse, playful, elegant, and just exactly right for this book. (The image for Submission might be my favorite – what’s yours?)
  • My original pitch was called 101 Unusual Kinks & Fetishes and would have explored fascinating oddities of the human sexual psyche like sneezing fetishism, balloon fetishism, and clowns fetishism. Maybe I’ll still get to write a book like that someday!
  • The text on the back of the book says “Curious?” but some of the other options we considered included “You never know until you try,” “Add some sprinkles to your vanilla,” and “Try it. You might like it.”
  • I re-titled the Electrostimulation section “Zapping” so that I could say the book contains “kinky things from Aftercare to Zapping” 😂
  • We’re having a launch party and you’re invited! It’s happening tomorrow (Wednesday, Oct. 13) at the KGB Bar Red Room in New York City, and is also being livestreamed, so you can join us from anywhere around the world. Click here and reserve your free ticket – there will be readings, signing, and live kink demos featuring yours truly!

Thanks again for your support and for reading my words. If you plan on reading the book, I hope you love it, and that it inspires you to expand your erotic possibilities! ❤️

10 Fun Ways to Celebrate Your Book Launch

Kate Sloan

My first book, 101 Kinky Things Even You Can Do, is launching in less than a month, and I have been frantically googling ways to celebrate it.

I’m bad at celebrating my own successes. It is a chronic problem that both my spouse and my therapist have pointed out to me on many occasions, and have encouraged me to examine. It has to do with impostor syndrome, insecurity, shame, trauma, anxiety, blah blah blah. Basically I’m a dick to myself sometimes and should be nicer to myself, dammit, especially when I achieve remarkable things.

But in searching for resources on how authors celebrate their book launches, I’ve mainly found articles on how authors promote their book launches. Sure, celebrations of such things are partly about promotion and attention, and that stuff is necessary in order for a book (and its author) to succeed – but currently I’m more interested in the emotional and psychological side of things, and in celebrations that are less about garnering media attention and more about congratulating yourself for a job damn well done.

With that in mind, today I’m gonna do something I often do on this blog – I’m gonna write the article I wish existed. Here are 10 ways you could celebrate your book launch if you just wanna congratulate yourself and revel in your own awesomeness for being an author.

 

1. Have a party. Not so doable in pandemic times, naturally, but still potentially navigable depending on your comfort level and how you decide to do it. You could host an outdoor picnic with readings, or ask a bookstore you admire to let you throw your (masked-up, vaxxed-up) bash there, or do a livestream online. I’ve often found that hosting a party to celebrate an accomplishment helps me feel like that accomplishment actually happened, because real live humans show up and tell me how well I’ve done. Rad!

2. Match your outfit to the book cover. I am a colossal fan of themed outfits. They sometimes feel like an antidote to my depression and apathy: I may not be excited about getting dressed in general, but tell me to dress like a punk teen from the ’90s or a boarding-school English professor or a Mad Men extra, and my imagination is instantly engaged. When I realized I could celebrate my book’s launch by dressing to match it – i.e. in black and gold, ideally with some kinky elements thrown in – I immediately felt so much more excited about the whole thing. (If you want some inspiration, check out the lilac custom-embroidered jumpsuit Casey McQuiston wore to celebrate their book One Last Stop, or the pink suit Kaye Blegvad wore to the launch for The Pink Book. If you know of more examples, I’d love to hear about them in the comments!)

3. Do a reading. If you’re throwing a launch party, traditionally you’d do a reading at that event – but even if you decide to go sans party, you can still hop on Instagram Live, Zoom, or another streaming medium of your choice, and read some sections of your book aloud to an audience. Sometimes my words feel more real, and more meaningful, when I’m able to speak them aloud to attentive listeners.

4. Invent a cocktail to go with your book. (Alcoholic or non-!) My spouse Matt is a huge cocktail person and has taught me so much about how a drink can be perfectly crafted to evoke a particular mood, aesthetic, or vibe. I haven’t yet asked them to devise a Kinky Things drink, but I’m sure they’d be thrilled at the prospect! If your book contains references to particular ingredients, time periods, or existing cocktails, maybe those could be a jumping-off point for your brainstorming.

5. Get a tattoo. The pen and pencil on my upper left arm were explicitly meant to be a “yay, I got my first book deal!” celebratory tattoo. I love tattoos as markers of achievements or “new chapters” in life, because they remain on your body, forever a reminder of how terrific you are.

6. Do a photoshoot. I loved Casey McQuiston’s book launch shoot at the Coney Island subway station, because that location features prominently in their book, and its color palette looked lovely with the book cover. One of these days I’m hoping to dress up kinky and hire a photographer friend to take some snaps of me with my own book, both for promotional purposes and just for fun celebratory purposes.

7. Thank the people who helped you get where you are. Not just your agent/editor/publisher/etc. – although, them too! – but also people like your high school English teacher, your college writing professor, the novelist who inspired you to get into the game, etc. Maybe even send them a copy if you’re feeling generous. They’ll be thrilled to hear that they helped shape you into the fancy published author that you are!

8. Seek out your book “in the wild,” like a self-indulgent treasure hunt. Go find the local bookstores that stock your book (if applicable), take gleeful selfies in front of it, and bask in how wonderful it is that your writing is in an actual bookstore!

9. Do a spiritual/magic ceremony. Whatever belief system(s) you do or don’t subscribe to, there may be a way for you to celebrate your book launch while tapping into your spirituality, “woo-woo”-ness, or interest in magic and the supernatural. I think it would be nice, for example, to hold my book to my chest while meditating on creativity and gratitude, or to spend some time clutching crystals and visualizing my book traveling out into the world and helping people.

10. Practice your signature and start signing copies. Whether you give them to your loved ones, set up a signing at a bookstore, or sell signed copies online, you’re gonna want a great signature and a go-to inscription. I spent some time practicing a new way of signing my name recently, and am ready to put it to the test on my actual book!

 

Fellow authors, how did/do you celebrate your book launch(es)?