Monthly Faves: Pillows, Podcasts, & Powerful Memoirs

Hope your COVID summer has been as stress-free as can reasonably be expected, loves. Here are some things I loved in August…

 

Media

• After devouring all three episodes of Netflix’s longform improv special series Middleditch & Schwartz when it came out, my partner and I started watching some similarly-structured specials performed by TJ & Dave. Longform improv is truly one of my passions and makes me feel so happy and hopeful even when the world sucks.

• The brilliant sex writer Girl on the Net went through a breakup recently and I really feel for her, especially since she writes such beautiful things about her feelings, in addition to the blisteringly hot erotica she’s best known for. I decided it was the right time for me to finally read her book, Girl on the Net: How a Bad Girl Fell in Love. It’s full of sexy and romantic stories, along with incisive commentary about what it’s like to be – and to date – a sex blogger. Needless to say, I loved it!

• Next I dove into Glennon Doyle‘s memoir Untamed, which is about how this “Christian mommy blogger” (god, I hate that so many people’s voices drip with misogyny when they use that term, but it is the most widely-used term for the type of blogging she’s known for) fell in love with a famous lesbian soccer player and then made the decision to uproot her entire life: leave her husband, restructure her family, and marry her new love. It’s a beautiful book containing a lot of wise insights about love, parenthood, and systemic sexism.

• I’ve been introducing my partner to The O.C., a show that I found very influential when I was 12-13. We’re watching (or re-watching, in my case) season 2, in which the stunning Olivia Wilde plays bisexual icon and punk bartender Alex Kelly, a characterization that I credit with making me realize I was bi all those years ago. It’s every bit as good as I remember it being – all the smarts of a nerdy primetime drama, crammed into the format of a syrupy soap opera.

• It’d been a few years since I played The Sims, but this month another wave of quarantine boredom hit me (what else is new, right?) so I bought The Sims 4 and a few expansion packs/add-ons. Been enjoying building elaborate houses and watching virtual lives play out on my computer in this weird era when our own actual lives can’t play out as planned.

 

Products

• After dealing with recurrent neck pain for a few weeks that seemed to be the fault of my flat-ass old pillows, I decided to splurge on Wirecutter’s most highly-recommended pillow, the Nest Easy Breather. It was absurdly expensive for what it is, especially when you factor in the currency conversion and import duties, but I figure there are few things more worth spending money on than the object I lay my head on each night. Anyway, it’s blissfully comfortable, as you would expect. Maybe one day I’ll be able to afford a whole set…

• These black sequinned Ugg boots were on sale recently and I’ve wanted Uggs for years – my old winter boots are falling apart – so I bought a pair. Since it’s still summer I’ve just been wearing them around the house like slippers, but OMG, they are so cozy and comfy. I think me buying Uggs is a good sign re: divesting myself of toxic fashion-industry norms.

• Is it weird to put cornstarch on this list?! I recently learned that rolling around your (pressed, cubed) tofu in a blend of cornstarch and spices before pan-frying causes it to crisp up real good. I feel like a culinary genius whenever I cook it this way, even though it’s actually pretty easy.

• My partner gifted me their old Apple Watch a while ago when they got a newer one, and I’ve been enjoying using it primarily as a step tracker during the coronavirus debacle. When I’m not getting nearly enough exercise, and I know exercise is good for my mood and my chronic pain, it helps to have some kind of external motivation imposed on me to get my steps in, even if that’s just seeing my step tracker tick upwards on a watch screen.

 

Work & Appearances

• Bex and I celebrated reaching the 200th episode of the Dildorks by telling silly stories of our various sexual milestones! We also interviewed the delightful Aryn about sexual astrology, chatted with two whip-smart researchers about their new book on sex and social media, and discussed subspace and topspace.

• In my weekly newsletter, I wrote about having romantic/sexy dreams about people you know IRL, three kinky fantasies my partner asked me to expand upon, the room where me and Matt first kissed (and which we were definitely not supposed to kiss in), and our first financial domination scene, which involved luxe lingerie and a lot of negotiation.

• My brother is a fantastic guitar player, and we teamed up to cover the Hippo Campus song “Vines” when I visited my family recently. Always a pleasure playing music with Max!

• A lot of my work projects this month were things I’m not able to talk about in detail: another potential book project on the horizon, a game I might be developing for a publisher, and some ghostwriting for a pro domme client. Exciting stuff! I’ll tell you more when I can.

 

Good Causes

• The death of Chadwick Boseman from colon cancer this month was a shock to many. Donating to organizations that support Black people facing medical difficulties, like the Black Health Alliance or the Sisters Network, would be a lovely way to commemorate him and help other folks who are struggling like he was.

• J.K. Rowling is unfortunately still being a transphobic monster, so why not donate to an organization that supports trans people, such as the Black Trans Femmes in the Arts collective, the Trevor Project, or the Homeless Black Trans Women Fund?

• The Glad Day Lit Emergency Survival Fund is still raising cash to help support queer and trans artists impacted financially by COVID.