Girly Juice

In one of my favorite movies, Kissing Jessica Stein, a character named Helen has three boyfriends. They each fulfill a different-but-important purpose in her life. One is young, clever, and adventurous, but a bit dweeby; she sees him when she’s bored. One is very rich but boring and possessive; she sees him when she’s hungry. And the third is sexually ravenous and skilled, but not especially smart or interesting; she sees him, of course, when she’s horny.

I thought about Helen’s trifuckta a lot while testing the Eroscillator Top Deluxe, because it’s made its way instantly and easily into my core team of go-to vibrators. I grab the Magic Wand Rechargeable when I want my whole vulva shaken into joy, the We-Vibe Tango when I crave more pinpointed rumbling, and the lovely Eroscillator when I need a vibrator that feels less like a vibrator and more like a human is touching me.

That’s the advantage the Eroscillator has over any other vibrator I’ve tried: its oscillation movement is, in some way my scientifically unschooled brain doesn’t understand, fundamentally different from standard vibration. It gets deeper into my clitoral network, while at the same time feeling gentler and less abrasive to the outer portion of my clit. The sensation is closer to a lover’s fingers than it is to vibration, and sometimes it almost feels like a ghost is stimulating me; the sensation is that unique and ethereal. This effect is hard to explain in words, but it makes my Eroscillator indispensable to me.

Longer-term readers might know that the Eroscillator 2 Plus has been a diehard favorite of mine since the early, early days of my blog. When I started reviewing for Sex Toys Canada, only the second-ever company to agree to send me stuff to review, the Eroscillator was the very first thing I requested. It’s been my right-hand man ever since, never leaving my bedside table in the 4.5 years since I got it… That is, until Eroscillator sent me this fancier model, the Top Deluxe.

If you’re curious about how the two models compare, Epiphora’s post on the subject is more thorough than I will be here. I’ll say this: I can get off easily with both models, and while the Top Deluxe feels noticeably stronger, the 2 Plus still thrills me to the very core of my clitoral crura. I’d only recommend the Top Deluxe if you have the extra money to throw around and/or you know you need quite a bit of power to get off. If neither of those is the case, you’ll do just fine with the basic model.

That said, do make sure to get the fingertip attachment (lovingly nicknamed “the marshmallow” by Betty Dodson and many a sex toy blogger). It comes with the 2 Plus Soft Finger Combo and Top Deluxe Soft Finger Combo and that’s probably the most cost-efficient way of getting it, ’cause it’s $40 on its own. This attachment is the magic ingredient that, for me, takes the Eroscillator from “Hmm, that feels pretty good” to “Jesus fuck, is my clit being serviced by an extraterrestrial who’s evolved past their corporeal form and is aiming a pure pleasure beam at my junk?!” It softens the oscillations without dulling their impact on my internal clitoral structures, which, in layman’s terms, feels preeeetty fuckin’ good.

My orgasms with the Eroscillator are categorically different than my orgasms with any other toy. They feel simultaneously deeper and floatier. Instead of wrestling an orgasm from my body, like I do with other vibrators, with the Eroscillator I can sweetly and gently push myself over the edge into an orgasm that bursts open, blooms like a flower, shakes and quakes my whole being. This shit is fucking meditative.

The other reason I love the Eroscillator: its size and shape are ideal for use during penetrative sex. It fits between bodies perfectly, and its ribbed slider lets me flick between the toy’s 3 speeds quickly and intuitively. Some of the best orgasms of my life have happened with the Eroscillator on my clit and a partner’s dick buried inside me. (Welp. Gettin’ wet just thinking about it, frankly.)

My Eroscillator came with several attachments, but the marshmallow is the one I stick with, 95% of the time. It’s the perfect balance between pinpointed and broad, hard and soft, for my particular clit‘s preferences. If I’m having trouble getting off even at the highest speed, sometimes I’ll switch to the “grapes and cockscomb” for some extra sensation to help me get there, but for the most part, the squishy fingertip does the trick.

If I have any complaints about the Eroscillator, they’re as follows: the super-long power cord, while convenient for use at a distance from a power outlet, gets tangled far too easily. And I sometimes don’t love that the oscillations weaken the more that I press the toy into my body. However, I’ve learned to work around this, such that it’s now second nature to me – I just press the toy against myself to start and then ease up the pressure as I get closer to orgasm, so the sensation gets more intense. This issue makes the Eroscillator a poor choice for anyone who needs clitoral pressure, but for me, it’s no big deal.

I thought I’d hate the colors of the overhauled Eroscillator – it used to be bronze, and I’m a stubborn babe who’s resistant to change – but the purple and silver combo is actually beautiful. This toy’s still never gonna win a “Prettiest Vibrator” competition, but it looks marginally less like a steampunk toothbrush now than it once did, and I’m just the slightest bit prouder to display it on my nightstand as a result.

Writing about the Eroscillator makes me want to use it. Thinking about it makes me want to use it. The orgasms are that good, that addictive. It’s the closest thing I have to a “press here for orgasm” button. I’ve loved this product for four and a half years and I imagine I’ll love it for many, many more.

Thank you to Eroscillator for sending me this toy to review!