Why You Should Pay For Your Porn (At Least Sometimes)

Kate Sloan

One of my personal pet peeves as a creator is when people brag about refusing to pay for the art they enjoy, as if it’s something to be proud of. If you like art, it’s important to pay for it – at least some of the time!

Now, don’t get me wrong – obviously financial difficulties can make this hard or impossible, and I see art as a basic human necessity, which is why I think it’s so great that plenty of art (including porn) is legitimately available for free.

But if you can afford to pay for artistic works that matter to you, I think you should, at least some of the time. I’ve partnered with Bunny Agency for this post, in which I’ll tell you a few key reasons your favorite porno babes deserve your cash…

 

Money allows art to continue to exist!

This is really the crux of the thing. Art can’t be made (at least not consistently and well) without money, because artists are people, and people require money to survive. It’s as simple as that.

It’s hard as fuck to be a creator these days, especially in the adult industry. Social media algorithms deboost us, search engines derank us, payment processors ban us… As a result of all this, many of us are barely scraping by. But the more money we make from our actual art, the more time we can spend making that art – since we won’t have to spend as much time stressing about money and working other jobs to make ends meet.

It drives me completely nuts when I see people complaining about paywalls on news articles, and in the same breath, complaining about news publications’ incomplete coverage of certain issues, or lackluster factchecking. Consumers paying for their news is what enables newsrooms to hire more/better journalists and factcheckers! And just like the news, porn cannot continue to exist if no one pays for it, because creators gotta have food, shelter, and the tools of their trade in order to create.

 

Get exactly what you want!

For those of us with very particular erotic tastes, we may have trouble finding porn that lines up with our desires. But many porn performers offer custom clips, so you can lay out your fantasy and receive bespoke porn that fulfills it.

In talking to friends of mine who’ve created and/or purchased custom clips, I’ve come to think of customs as being almost like tattoos, in that you should pick an artist who’s well-versed in the style and content you’re looking for, tell them what you want, and let them put their own spin on it. They will often surprise you in ways that your own limited imagination cannot!

 

Own, not stream!

Often (although not always), if you pay for a porn video, you can download it and keep it on your own hard drive, rather than being beholden to fickle hosting sites and inconsistent streaming speeds.

Ever gone to watch a porn clip you bookmarked online, and found yourself on a 404 error page instead? Ever gotten horny while stuck in a no-cell-service zone? It’s in these situations that I’m most grateful for the videos I have bought and saved!

 

Support artists!

Despite whorephobic rumors to the contrary, Onlyfans modeling (& similar) is not an easy gig! Creators often act as their own photographer/cinematographer, editor, marketing director, and business manager. They endure sexual harassment, malicious credit card chargebacks, and sex work stigma. They go through a lot, and they deserve to get paid for their hard work, same as anybody else does!

Just as Bandcamp sales are wildly more lucrative than Spotify streams for musicians, porn performers get way more money when you actually buy their content than when you just stream it for free (which earns them about 69 cents per thousand views). So, if you like your favorite porn stars and want them to be able to stay in the biz, support them when you can!

 

This post was sponsored. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Making VR Porn With My Partner Was Hot, Cool, & Weird…

Kate Sloan
Playing the ukulele with an Apple Vision Pro on for some reason

“Would you fuck your clone?”

This is one of the many questions that us sex nerds tend to debate with each other. It’ll come up in the blogger lounge at the sex conference, or in the back row of the sexual psychology lecture, or in the aftercare cuddle puddle at the play party. No matter the answers amongst the group, it’s sure to be an interesting conversation.

There are some standard sub-questions that arise as a result of this bigger, broader question, like: Is fucking your clone closer to incest, or masturbation? Are you sexually compatible with yourself, or would you run into some classic top4top or bottom4bottom difficulties in trying to fuck yourself? Are you attracted to yourself, and if not, does that even affect your answer?

That last one is really the clincher for me, and is the main reason I would not fuck my clone: I’m just not that into me. Granted, you don’t have to be attracted to someone to fuck them, and I certainly haven’t been super attracted to every person I’ve ever hooked up with – but I think, in this case, I would find that hurdle tough to overcome.

I bring this up because making VR blowjob porn with my partner, and subsequently watching said porn on my partner’s VR headset, is probably the closest I’ll ever come to fucking my clone – and it was both very weird and very cool.

A quick rundown on VR porn for those unacquainted: Virtual-reality headsets, while commonly used for video games, can also be used to watch hyperrealistic, three-dimensional media, including porn. Websites such as Virtual Real Porn offer VR videos, for instance, as do some early-adopter independent creators. Some sex toys can even be synced up with VR porn for an extra-realistic experience – for example, a stroker might slide up and down on your dick to the exact rhythm and depth depicted in the 3D clip you’re watching. The future is here, and it is sexy!

When my partner got an Apple Vision Pro headset shortly after its launch, she let me try it out, and showed me various cool features on it – and because we’re both perverts, she also asked me if I wanted to watch and/or make porn on it. Naturally, I said yes!

One of my all-time favorite porn genres is POV blowjobs, so we decided to start with one of those. The Vision Pro can take 3D video, so my partner strapped hers on and hit ‘record,’ and I got to work. Giving head to someone who’s wearing an enormous VR headset is pretty hilarious, I have to admit – but there were also times when it felt hot in a deeply perverse way, like I was being coolly surveilled by a bug-eyed alien, or blowing a disinterested gamer during a LoL raid.

It wasn’t my first rodeo (or, uh, blow-deo) – I’ve starred in BJ porn a handful of other times before – but something still felt new and fresh about it, I think because I was aware that people other than my partner might watch the video one day, and might therefore feel like I’m blowing them, and so I felt a certain responsibility to ‘play all the hits,’ as it were – to be a crowd-pleaser, all the way through. (The video isn’t currently available for purchase, although another (non-VR) POV blowjob of mine is.)

The most surreal part for me was watching the video later on, while wearing the headset myself. It was nothing like the times before when I’d watched my own 2D blowjob videos in a QuickTime window on my laptop screen – now, the image filled my entire field of view, and appeared so three-dimensional that I almost thought I could reach down and brush my own hair out of my face.

I got to observe a blowjob I’d already experienced, but from a different angle. In essence, I got to receive a BJ from my clone… and it was weeeeeird! Despite POV blowjobs being a go-to search term for me on any porn site, I just couldn’t get into this one. I was too consumed with self-criticism, too zoomed in on my flaws, my awkwardness, and the sheer fact of me being me.

So, no – I don’t think I would fuck my clone. But would I watch her suck off my partner in 3D, just to revel in the frisson of charged discomfort it conjures? Abso-fuckin-lutely. I have, and I would do it again.

 

This post contains a sponsored link. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

The Best Sex Toys of 2024

Kate Sloan

I’ve been lucky enough in my career to write sex toy listicles for all sorts of big publications. I love being able to spread sex toy awareness to the masses, but ultimately, this website is still my favorite place to write about these products – because this website is the only one where I can give you the full, detailed, unvarnished lowdown on why I like (or dislike) any given toy. I love having that kind of freedom!

With that in mind, I want to tell you about the toys I used and enjoyed the most in 2024…

Old faithfuls

Before I tell you about my 8 favorite new-to-me sex toys of the year, I gotta shout out the nightstand workhorses that’ve stuck around for a while:

 

My 8 favorite new toys of the year

Yep – I’m gonna do a “top 8,” MySpace-style!

Not all of these were released this year, but they all arrived in my collection sometime in 2024. I’ll start at the bottom and work my way up…

8. Mr Hankey’s Perfect Penis

Not much to say about this one, except that it’s a huge, beautiful silicone dick that I reach for when I want to feel well and truly fucked. And also it works better as an iPhone stand than many actual iPhone stands.

 

7. Uberrime Suavis plug

There are two vaginal plugs that I love: this one, and the Hole Punch Fluke, which has long been my go-to when I want some passive G-spot stimulation while receiving oral sex. The problem with the Fluke, however, is that I can’t wear it for longer than about an hour before my vag starts to get a little sore from the firmness of the silicone.

That’s where the Uberrime Suavis comes in – it’s softer, squishier, and more comfortable for longer wear (I think I’ve comfortably left it in for up to 3 hours before). The trade-off is that it doesn’t feel as good for me during orgasm as the Fluke does, because I prefer a firmer silicone at that moment – plus, sometimes my vag swallows the whole Suavis, base and all, which can make it a little tricky to retrieve. In any case, though, I love having two different vaginal plugs for the two different ways I like to use ’em!

6. Magic Wand Micro

They made a miniature version of the Magic Wand. Of course I love it!

The teeny-tiny Micro might disappoint some Wand diehards, because naturally it doesn’t quite stack up to its bigger siblings in terms of power – but it’s respectably rumbly and strong for its petite size, it’s portable as hell, and (perhaps most importantly of all) it’s really fucking cute.

 

5. Fun Factory Stronic G Forte

Hate to do this to ya, but this appears to be sold out everywhere… most likely because of Fun Factory’s recent acquisition by Satisfyer and it increasingly seems like they’re phasing out the brand. That would be a HUGE bummer for sex toy nerds around the world, because Fun Factory has long been one of the best and most ethical companies in the biz.

But it would feel weird to omit this toy from my list, even though you’ll have a hell of a time trying to sleuth one out at this point. Fun Factory’s Stronic line of “pulsators” thrust back and forth in small motions, and nowhere is this technology used more effectively than in the G Forte, which is made to target the G-spot with those quick little strokes. It’s girthier and stronger than the original Stronic G, and I’m sad that more people won’t get to experience it.

 

4. Solina Mega L dildo

At first glance, this toy may not look especially remarkable. It’s a straight, average-sized, realistic silicone dildo. So what?

Here’s what: This dildo is made of dual-density silicone, widely regarded as the best balance between realism and body-safety (since realistically squishy toys are usually made of porous and/or toxic materials) – and it only costs $40. It wasn’t so long ago that you’d have to shell out $100+ for a great dual-density silicone dildo – and the ones in that price range are still gorgeous and worthy of their price tags, but I love having an option I can recommend to folks who are on a tighter budget.

I’ve recently been sent a new addition to the Solina line, which I’ll write about sometime in 2025, and it’s lovely too. I’ve definitely got my eye on this brand!

3. Mr. Hankey’s Captain’s Hook

This toy’s deep curve and hefty girth make it one of the most breathtakingly G-spotty toys I’ve ever used. I find its realism sexy both visually and tactilely – that coronal ridge is simply marvelous.

I’d probably use it a lot more often if it wasn’t so heavy. But it speaks well of this toy that I’m willing to put up with the sore hands and arms occasionally in order to experience its pleasures.

 

2. Hot Octopuss Pulse Queen

One of my core skills as a sex toy reviewer is being very aware of my own “baseline,” in terms of sensitivity and sexual response, so that I will know when a toy causes significant deviations in those areas. And to that end, I noticed immediately that the Pulse Queen clitoral stimulator feels deeper and more stimulating than other vibes – and that the orgasms it gives me have a unique quality to them as well, a depth and sweetness that frequently makes me swear like a sailor while I’m coming.

The only reasons this toy isn’t in the #1 spot: It doesn’t stand up well at all to pressure (which makes it effectively useless in many PIV positions), and it has an annoyingly short battery life. But damn, nothing else feels quite like this toy, and when I’m craving it, absolutely nothing else will do.

 

1. We-Vibe Wand 2

The toys at the top of my list each year are usually fairly straightforward. They do one thing, and they do it well. Let that be a lesson to any sex toy company reps who may be reading this!

We-Vibe’s updated wand is a prime example. It’s “just” a wand – but oh, what a wand it is! It’s easily one of the rumbliest ones I’ve ever tried, and its speeds range from a low, gentle purr to a full-on jackhammer rumble. I’ve reached for it more times than I can count this year, because, simply put, it gets the fucking job done. It may not be the prettiest wand (or the most affordable), but it’s probably the wand that got me off the most times this year, and that’s a pretty big deal!

 

What were your favorite new toys this year?

 

As a reminder: when you buy toys through my links, I get a li’l monetary kickback (at no extra cost to you), which is a great way to “tip” me if you’ve appreciated my toy guidance this year 😘 Thanks, babes!

My New Tattoo is Romantic as Hell 💖

Kate Sloan

It’s no secret that I love hearts, and pink and red things, and the whole lovecore aesthetic. I mean, I just wrote a whole blog post last week about pink-and-red outfits I devised to match a pink-and-red dildo… Suffice it to say, I’m a fan of these colors!

I think what draws me to the lovecore look even more than its pretty colors, though, is its emphasis on love and romance. They are really important themes in my life – I mean, I have a whole blog category dedicated to them! Love and romance have guided me toward many of my greatest joys and my happiest days – and not just because romance itself is fun and uplifting, but because crushes encourage growth!

If you are a person who experiences attraction (sexual, romantic, or otherwise), you can probably remember a time when you wanted to impress someone you were attracted to, or even just wanted to understand them more deeply – and in this effort, you researched a topic that was new to you, or consumed media you would’ve never stumbled across otherwise, or discovered a whole new side of your personality that you never knew existed. Whether or not our attractions ever “pan out” into “anything more” (which we can’t always control, anyway), they still pull us in the direction of who we want to become, and I think that’s fucking magical.

As we get older, every heartbreak and rejection can make it harder to keep pursuing love and connection. It seems scarier and scarier to go out into the world and take big, foolhardy risks with your heart – and gosh, wouldn’t it be so much easier to stay home on your sofa, numbing out with Netflix and living vicariously through other people’s loves? (If you feel called out, trust me, I’m calling myself out even more!)

It takes a concerted effort to push back against that impulse to self-isolate. Risk-aversion may be a prudent approach in finance or business, but it’s rarely the right impulse when it comes to human relationships, which inherently require some degree of risk. The ‘finding people to date’ part is risky and scary, the ‘actually going on dates’ part is risky and scary, and the ‘opening yourself up emotionally and physically to a new person’ part is definitely risky and scary… but when those risks pay off, it’s like winning the emotional jackpot.

Anyway, all of this has been on my mind for a long time, but especially since the pandemic kicked off. It’s never been easier to self-isolate. It’s never been easier to avoid relational risk. But I don’t want to do that. So I got a new tattoo to remind me: it’ll always be worth it to roll the dice on love.

My friend Addison Finch is an artist extraordinaire; you might know him as the creator of the current Dildorks album art, or the Making Magic album art, or his illustrations on the Funkit Toys Random Encounters sex dice, or any of the numerous other projects he’s done in the sex-positive sphere. He’s also a tattoo artist, so when he mentioned to me that he was going to be visiting my city and doing a guest spot at a local tattoo shop, I knew right away that I wanted some of his art on my skin!

I considered a few different possibilities, but kept coming back to an idea I had seen represented by various different illustrators over the years (including RubyRoller-Art, xPixelPerfect and Eidalfina): pink dice decorated with red hearts. To me, it was the perfect encapsulation of my current goals vis-à-vis love and romance: Roll the dice. Take a risk. See what happens.

After some discussions of layout and placement, Addison drew up a design in his own style for me to look at, and I loved it. He set to work tattooing it on me, while we chatted about life, love, kink, and art for a couple of hours. When I saw the completed ink on my arm, it felt right immediately – almost like it had always been there.

I’m not the bravest person in the world when it comes to love (or anything else). But I hope this tattoo will give me a kick in the pants when I need it, reminding me that love might hurt, and it might surprise me, and it might even blow up in my face – but it’s always, always worth rolling the dice on.

LGBTQ+ People Are Not Going Back

Kate Sloan
The Progress Pride flag, designed by Daniel Quasar

This post was written as part of Julia Serano’s suggested action today for LGBTQ+ people and their allies.

 

It’s a terrifying time to be queer or trans – but especially to be trans.

In the months leading up to this latest U.S. election, unhinged right-wingers called queer people groomers and pedophiles, cruelly politicized the horrific deaths of trans people, and spent $215 million on anti-trans attack ads. (God, can you imagine if that money had gone to something actually useful instead, like housing or famine relief?)

Republicans are unsettled by us, not just because so few of us vote for them (I mean, why the fuck would we?!) but because of what we represent: that sexuality and gender are neither fixed nor binaristic, and that this means gender- and sex-based power hierarchies are, and have always been, artificial and meaningless.

I also suspect there’s a tinge of subconscious jealousy coloring the behavior of these bigots – not because I think they’re necessarily queer or trans themselves, but because I think many of them feel trapped in the scripted tedium of conservative cis-hetero life, and are furious at us for daring to build our own lives and be our own selves, instead of grabbing ready-mades off the shelf.

But while Republicans spewing vile hatred is to be expected, what’s more surprising is when members of the LGBTQ+ community throw each other under the bus. There have always been people who do this, but we’re seeing more and more of it since the election: many Democrats, some of whom are queer, have theorized that trans rights were a sticking point that may have lost us the election, or have essentially argued that we need to “pick our battles” and that basic civil rights for trans people are not a battle worth picking.

This, obviously, is despicable. It’s despicable not only because abandoning an already-disadvantaged community is cruel, and not only because every human being deserves human rights, but also because queer struggles and trans struggles go hand-in-hand. Right-wing zealots hate queer people for many of the same reasons they hate trans people, and vice-versa.

I mean, hell, plenty of them don’t even know the difference between being queer and being trans! They hold a deep-seated hatred toward sexual and gender transgressors (…except for cis male rapists, apparently, to whom they give jobs instead), and they paint that hatred across all of us with a very broad brush. We don’t all get treated the same, and certainly some of us are more privileged than others (myself included, as a white queer cis lady who can ‘pass’ as straight in some situations) – but the hatred levelled against all of us, I believe, originates in more-or-less the same place.

This is why our social and political goals have long been aligned, this is why we have often grouped ourselves under the LGBTQ+ umbrella, and this is why it’s absurd to me when cis queers don’t care about trans issues. As the pastor Martin Niemöller reminds us in his famous 1946 poem “First they came…,” your obedience and silence will not save you from the wrath of the fascists. They will come for you, too. The Leopards Eating People’s Faces party will eat a queer face just as readily, and just as happily, as they’ll eat a trans one.

So, when I say that LGBTQ+ people are not going back, I mean that we refuse to give up our hard-won rights and freedoms – and I also mean that we should never go back to being a splintered group with disparate goals and dissenting strategies. We need to band together now more than we ever have before. We need to have each other’s backs. We need to fight this madness and take care of each other and ourselves at the same time. It’s the only fucking way forward.

 

If you’re on board with that goal, here are some concrete things you can do:

• If you are in the U.S., please contact your senators, your state legislators, and even your local politicians, to state unequivocally that you refuse to tolerate a backslide in rights and protections for LGBTQ+ people, and that you will take your vote elsewhere next election if they cannot commit to action on this. Julia Serano has a script you can borrow if you’re not sure what to say.

• If you have some cash to spare, consider donating to an organization that fights for queer and trans rights, such as the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) or Advocates for Trans Equality (A4TE).

• You also might consider donating to organizations that help individual trans people directly, like GLITS, the Trans Lifeline, or a mutual aid fund in your community.