Review: Bestvibe Seven Rolling Licking Rabbit Vibrator

All images via Bestvibe

I like vibrators. I like tongues. I like being fucked. Why not combine all those things into one toy?!

That’s exactly what the Bestvibe Seven Rolling Licking Rabbit Vibrator aims to do. Let’s find out how it performs!

 

What is the Bestvibe Seven Rolling Licking Rabbit Vibrator?

This is a dual-stim vibrator that has three different functions: vibration in the external part (though this is falsely advertised as “licking” – more on that below), vibration in the internal part, and the back-and-forth rolling of some small balls under the surface of the toy’s shaft.

Things I like about this toy

  • There are three buttons on this toy and each corresponds to one of its three functions, so you can control them independently from each other. You still have to cycle through each function’s 7 settings by pressing its one button, which can be annoying, but is probably less annoying than it would be to have an “up” and “down” button for each of the three functions.
  • The “rolling” function is easily my favorite, because it’s the most unique: little balls or beads move in tandem under the surface of the shaft, but instead of rotating around the shaft like they do on many standard rabbits, these ones move up and down the shaft. This creates a sensation that feels surprisingly like thrusting when it’s inside me, despite the fact that the shaft itself is staying still. This is an interesting way of approaching the “it’s hard to thrust with rabbit vibes without losing clit contact” problem.
  • Furthermore, amongst the rolling function’s 7 settings are some that focus more toward the base of the shaft, some that stay closer to the head, and several that traverse more length than that. This makes for an interesting variety of sensations and is something I don’t often see implemented in toys for vulvas (some “blowjob simulator”-type toys do similar things for penises, allowing you to focus on specific parts of the shaft at any given time).
  • While the marketing copy for this toy claims that its internal portion targets the G-spot, I actually find it to be more A-spotty, which I love. The long shaft and very slight curve at the tip are classic features of an A-spot toy. When I push this one deep enough, the rolling balls on the shaft can get pretty close to my A-spot while still rolling across my G-spot, which feels awesome and unlike any other toy I can think of.
  • It’s waterproof!

Things I don’t like about this toy

  • I feel it’s misleading for Bestvibe to call the clit-stimulation function of this toy “licking,” because – while that part of the toy is made out of little silicone “tongues” – the tongues just vibrate, and don’t actually move/flap/lick, the way something like a Sqweel does. Moreover, because the tongues’ vibrations are so overwhelmingly buzzy, they don’t tremble up and down to any significant degree while vibrating, the way a rumblier motor might cause them to. In fact, focusing these wildly buzzy vibrations into such small, pointed shapes is downright uncomfortable at times, at least for my relatively sensitive clit.
  • On that note, the vibrations – both internally and externally – are so buzzy as to be basically useless for me. Any body part that stays in contact with them for more than about 30 seconds starts to feel numb and itchy. Not my cup of tea at all, but if you like buzzy vibrations, you might enjoy this toy.
  • Each of the vibration settings only has 3 steady speeds followed by 4 patterns. Generally I need a wider range of steady speeds to be able to get off with a vibrator. There’s not even that much of a discernible difference between the speeds on this toy, possibly because my bits are so numb by that point that I can’t tell when the vibrations get stronger.
  • The clitoral arm is too short for me. If I get it into a position that actually feels okay for my clit, then the internal arm loses contact with the spots that feel good inside, and vice-versa. For similar reasons, you can’t manually thrust this toy in and out, at least not if you want the clit arm to stay in contact with your body.
  • As often happens in multi-function toys with less-than-stellar engineering, each of this toy’s functions noticeably loses power when you turn on another one of the functions. This often has the effect of ruining orgasms because (for example) if I’ve been using the rolling + clit vibration functions and need a little more power to get me there, turning on the internal vibrations would just weaken all three at that crucial moment.
  • The rolling function is pretty loud, and mechanical whirring isn’t exactly a turn-on, but what can ya do.

Final thoughts

I can’t stand aggressively buzzy vibrations so I really didn’t get along well with the Bestvibe Seven Rolling Licking Rabbit Vibrator. I wish its motor was way rumblier, largely so that the tongues on its clitoral arm would flutter pleasantly, rather than just aiming a concentrated beam of discomfort at my clit.

However, I really like the toy’s rolling balls function and wish more dual-stim toys made use of technologies like this, to create sensations that are more interesting and unique than just G-spot vibration. I also dig the length and shape of the toy for A-spot stimulation; it’s hard to find dual-stim vibes that do this well.

Overall though, I can’t really recommend this toy, especially since it costs £52.99 (about $65 USD or $86 CAD). That’s too much to pay just to have your genitals numbed out.

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: Bestvibe Thrusting Rotating Vibrating Heating Realistic Dildo

What is the Bestvibe Thrusting Rotating Vibrating Heating Realistic Dildo?

This toy is a realistic silicone dildo, with a longer-than-usual handle to help with holding it and thrusting it. It vibrates and also thrusts.

 

Things I like about this toy

  • While it’s a bit of an eyesore to have a big plastic handle attached to the bottom of your otherwise-realistic dildo, and might take some people out of the moment fantasy-wise, I found it good for accessibility reasons. As someone whose hands get sore sometimes due to my fibromyalgia, I appreciated having an easier way to hold onto this toy than the claw-hand position I usually have to adopt with handleless realistic dildos.
  • The vibrations are actually pretty good (except for the fact that there’s only 2 steady speeds, as mentioned below). They’re on the rumblier side of what I was expecting, albeit still buzzier than rumbly classics like the We-Vibe Tango and Swan Wand.
  • I like the dimensions a lot. The insertable length ranges from 5.1″ to 6.3″ (it expands and contracts when its thrusting function is engaged) and the diameter is 1.6 inches. For me, that’s filling and satisfying but still comfortable, which is ideal.
  • I like the realistic appearance of this dildo, and am glad that more body-safe realistic dildos are available at lower price points now than those offered by, say, Vixen Creations or Tantus.
  • You can control the vibration and the thrusting separately! Hooray!
  • Unlike some other thrusters of this type, this one never pinches my skin awkwardly when it’s thrusting.
  • It’s waterproof!

Things I don’t like about this toy

  • When used the way I assume you’re meant to use it (balls facing down, rather than blocking my clit), the buttons are on the side of the toy that’s facing away from me, so I can’t see them during use. This is incredibly inconvenient and distracting.
  • The thrusting tends to slow down/weaken as soon as the toy’s inside me, and especially when I clench my vag muscles around it. This should not happen and can really mess with my build toward orgasm.
  • This toy has no curve whatsoever, which noticeably reduces the pleasure it could otherwise give me. I have to tilt it in pretty specific ways to get it to rub over my G-spot and/or A-spot.
  • The vibration function only has 2 steady speeds. That is not enough steady speeds.
  • The thrusting function sounds like a witch cackling. I don’t know how to explain that further. It just does. It’s very loud, erratic and distracting.
  • Apparently there is a heating function (there’s even a heating button on the toy), but it just didn’t work for me at all, no matter what I tried.
  • Bestvibe also advertises this toy as “rotating 360 degrees” but this is misleading, as there’s no rotation function. I think they mean that the handle makes it easier to manually rotate the dildo inside you if you want to, but 1) why would you want to? and 2) that’s not what people are gonna assume it means when you say that your product rotates.

Final thoughts

I’d definitely consider using this Bestvibe toy if I wanted to jerk off with a realistic dildo but was lacking the hand strength that day to thrust it myself. Its thrusting function is good and its handle also makes it easier to thrust manually even when my hands are feeling weak/sore.

But it has so many functional problems – especially its button placement, noise level, and the thrusts’ tendency to slow down as soon as any pressure is applied to the toy – that I find it hard to justify recommending this to anyone. Another Bestvibe toy I reviewed recently is a way better realistic thruster and can get me off much more easily and enjoyably, so go check that one out if you’re interested in this type of toy.

 

This post was sponsored, which means I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Q&A: What It Was Like to Write & Record 52 Songs in 52 Weeks

I’ve been having some convos with friends and family lately about the songwriting challenge I did this year, and have enjoyed explaining what made me want to do the challenge, what went into it, and what I took away from it. I found that lots of folks, especially other creatives, were interested in hearing about this – so I thought I’d write a blog post to wrap it all up!

 

Q. Wait. Did you really write and record 52 songs in 52 weeks?

A. Weirdly enough, I did.

 

Q. Why, though?

A. A fair question. A couple things happened within close proximity of each other last December: I wrapped up an educational program called “Meaningful Activity” that I’d been doing at my local chronic pain clinic, which had been leading me through a process of identifying my core values and the things that bring me the most joy, and figuring out how to do more of those things, more often, despite living with chronic pain and chronic fatigue. It came up over and over again in my worksheets and journal entries for that program that I missed music, cared about music, loved making music, and hadn’t been making nearly enough music. At the time that I did this program, I hadn’t written a song in nearly 4 years. In high school I used to crank out multiple songs a month sometimes. I realized I missed that and wanted to be doing significantly more of it.

The other thing that happened was that I spent a solid couple weeks living alone that month because my roommate had gone to stay with her family for the holidays, and I realized that a lot of my reticence to play music lately had been self-consciousness about being heard, but that I didn’t really need to worry about that because my sweet roommate had always expressed supportiveness about my music-making. So I started playing more songs, and even wrote a couple, and then thought, hey, wouldn’t I be happier if I was doing this every single week? So I assigned myself the challenge.

 

Q. Did you really think you’d be able to complete the challenge when you started it?

A. Honestly, no. I thought fatigue, pain, and/or apathy would get the better of me at some point and I’d call it quits. It felt equally possible that I would quit 7 months in or that I would quit after the first week. I think I just don’t believe in myself as much as I should, especially when it comes to professional goals.

 

Q. Where did you get ideas for your songs? Did it ever feel like you were running (or had run) out of ideas?

A. Coming up with conceptual/lyrical ideas is one of the hardest parts of the process for me, which is partly why I sometimes don’t even start with a conceptual/lyrical concept – I’ll start by improvising some lyrics and melodies over a chord progression and kind of just free-associate about what the music reminds me of. This approach can feel more like the song is revealing its theme to me, rather than me coming in with a predetermined theme of my own.

Aside from that – often I would see something in media that would inspire a song: “The Museum” was based on some lines lifted from an Oliver Sacks essay, “Love is Blind” is about the Netflix dating reality show of the same name, “Does He Know?” was inspired by a love triangle on the TV comedy Superstore, “Credit Card” was written soon after I watched The Tinder Swindler, “The Stage” was based on a scene from a documentary about the musical Spring Awakening, “Celia” was an ode to a character from the book The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, “Grandmaster” was a love song for a cult leader inspired by NXIVM’s Keith Raniere, and “Sisyphus” was about Nick Drake and some biographies I’d read of him.

Sometimes songs were inspired by conversations I’d had with people in my life: “Bi Enough” came out of a conversation with my therapist about bisexual impostor syndrome, “Doll” was based on a story a friend told me about his sex doll, and “Amicably” was about a friend’s relatively civil breakup.

Sometimes I would ask my Instagram or Twitter followers to submit a theme, quote, or idea to inspire a song; “Brave Little Girl” was one of those. Sometimes I would pull two tarot cards and ponder their meanings, separately or together, until a song idea appeared; “Mr. Mean” and “What If?” were some of these. Sometimes I would go to RandomWordGenerator.com and have it give me 3 random words to inspire a song; “Notice Me” and “Nobody Likes Me” were some of those. One time, a dream inspired a song; I wrote “Stay” after waking up from a terrible nightmare.

 

Q. What did you learn about songwriting from doing this challenge?

A. A WHOLE LOT. As with any artistic discipline, you definitely get to know your own creative process much more intimately when forced to spend time on it every week. I kept notes on what I learned/observed over the course of the year; here’s a few highlights:

  • I used to have a bad habit of recording and posting new songs immediately after writing them, rather than going through subsequent stages of editing and practicing the song to polish it up. You would think that having to crank out a song every week would’ve made this worse, but it actually made me better at letting songs breathe for a day or more after writing them, and practicing them enough that I could perform them well on camera, because I would always feel like, “Well, I have until Sunday to get this done. Might as well make it as good as I can within that timeframe.” By the end of the challenge, I would pretty much always listen to my initial demo a few times for 1-3 days after writing the song and make changes to anything that started to seem awkward or unpolished. I would also practice the song a lot more before recording it.
  • I quickly realized that it was CRUCIAL for me to have a reliable and searchable repository of ideas that I could pull from when I had writer’s block. I use the Notes app for conceptual ideas and lyrical fragments, and another app called Voice Record Pro to record and organize musical ideas, as well as demos to help me remember a song I’m writing/have already written. Realistically, I won’t always be able to immediately develop an idea that comes to me, because I have a job and stuff. So I had to get very disciplined about documenting even the tiniest snippets of ideas so that they’d be available when I needed them.
  • You’ll make some of your best art when it feels safe to make bad art. And because it was a weekly challenge, I knew that it was fine for some of the songs to be less good than I might otherwise prefer (though I think almost all of them are at least pretty good). Jonathan Mann, who has written a song every day for 14 years running, estimates that “70% are mediocre, 20% suck and 10% are awesome.” Sitting down with my list of 52 songs and ranking them, I did the math and found that I think 33% are great, 37% are good, 19% are mediocre and 11% are bad. I’m pretty happy with those numbers!
  • Whenever I felt stuck, I almost always found that switching things up helped inspire me. I’d play around on different instruments, try writing to loops in GarageBand, go to a different location to write, etc. It really helps.
  • Songwriting boosts my self-esteem! I admire great songwriters and their craft a lot, and it makes me feel so good about myself to write songs that I think are good. All the more reason to do it more often! I think this was also largely the reason I never really “half-assed” a song during this challenge – any time I considered taking the “easy way out” (like writing a song that was really simple, bad, or based on a song I’d written before), I knew I’d be disappointed with myself if I did that, so I didn’t.
  • Creativity requires rest. The resting phase is part of the creative process, not separate from it. After I write a song, I typically need to take at least a few days off from trying to write another one, or it just won’t work. I can use that time to “refill the well” by consuming media on a broad range of topics that might later inspire a song.

 

Q. What are your favorite songs from the challenge?

A. Sorry, they’re my babies; I refuse to pick just one. Instead, I will pick eight.

 

Q. But your whole thing is that you write about sex. What are the sexiest/kinkiest songs from the challenge?

A. If you want sexy and sex-adjacent, you want these:

 

Q. Are you going to keep writing and recording a song a week?

A. I actually have been. I don’t know how long I’ll continue it, but I felt a little sad that the challenge was ending and decided there was no reason I had to stop if I didn’t want to. You can always see the latest ones on my YouTube!

My Everyday Makeup + Skincare Essentials

As much as I love to try new beauty products, a lot of times I just come back to the same ones over and over again. Here are the skincare and makeup items that are in heavy rotation for me right now – some of them I use every single day, and some of them I use closer to once or twice a week, but all of them get used more than anything else in my collection.

 

Skincare

Cleanser: I love the soothing scent and light chemical exfoliation of Mario Badescu Enzyme Cleansing Gel. I also often use Cetaphil and/or CeraVe cleansers when I travel, because they can be found in most drugstores in Canada and the U.S.

Moisturizer: CeraVe moisturizing cream is just the best. So hydrating, so simple, so non-irritating, so affordable (considering that you get a giant tub of it).

Night cream: Mario Badescu seaweed night cream is my favorite for nights when my skin is feeling especially dry and needs some love.

Eye cream: I’m using Biossance eye gel at the moment but am not really in love with it. Still looking for the eye cream of my dreams.

Sunscreen: Coola face sunscreen dries down better than any other one I’ve tried, so I can wear makeup over top if I give it just a few minutes to soak in.

Lip balm: The LaNeige lip sleeping mask is divine.

 

A pretty standard “everyday” makeup look for me

Makeup

Eyebrows: Anastasia Beverly Hills Dipbrow Pomade in “Dark Brown” is one of my all-time favorite makeup products. I’ve been using it for about 9 years, and it is the product that makes me feel more like myself when I apply it. I like the pomade formula rather than an eyebrow pencil because it holds your brows’ shape better and seems to stay put better. (Make sure you get an angled brow brush with a spoolie if you want to try this stuff; use the spoolie to shape your brows and then apply Dipbrow in short strokes with the angled brush.)

Concealer: Maybelline Fit Me liquid concealer has a blendable consistency and buildable medium coverage. I actually prefer it over the pricier NARS concealer I was using before.

Powder: Most days I use either Laura Mercier translucent loose setting powder or Make Up For Ever Ultra HD pressed powder; they both work really well for setting concealer/foundation in place and getting rid of shine.

Blush: I have tried several but Tarte blush in “Natural Beauty” is my favorite one ever. It’s super pigmented but easy to blend, and the color goes well with both red and pink lipsticks. When I want something a bit more subdued, usually I go with MAC Sheertone blush in “Blushbaby,” which a MAC salesperson introduced me to many years ago when I started wearing blush for the very first time.

Eyeliner: MAC Liquidlast liner in “Point Black” is the only one I’ve found that stands up to all the sweating and crying I do. The gloopy texture is a little weird at first but you get used to it.

Lipstick: I have about a zillion of them, but some ride-or-die faves that I wear pretty often are:

 

What are your everyday skincare and/or makeup essentials?

Review: Tantaly Britney sex doll

All images courtesy of Tantaly

Well, it happened again: I was offered a sex doll to review, and had to figure out who in my life was both 1) willing to receive and test the doll and 2) reliable enough to give me useful feedback on it so I could write a review.

This is one of those weird logistical problems that people never think about when they ponder the realities of being a sex toy reviewer. See, I don’t have a dick (except for the kind you can strap on), so I’m not a member of most sex dolls’ target demographic – and while my lovely and dependable partner does have a dick, they already reviewed a sex doll for me and were disinclined to make more room in their small New York City apartment for a new member of the family. Likewise, a friend who also reviewed a sex doll for me previously was (I assumed) not up to doing so again, having given away his doll to a friend (!) for reasons I can’t quite recall but that may have had to do with moving house and not wanting to lug a 68-pound torso onto a U-Haul truck.

So this time I asked another friend, someone I knew would give the doll a fair shot and tell me his uncensored thoughts on the experience. After he’d had a few weeks to test out the toy, I took him aside in his kitchen and we chatted about the finer points of the Tantaly Britney over prosecco and beer. It was yet another delightfully weird day in my career as a sex toy reviewer, although frankly, I’ve had weirder.

Choosing the Tantaly Britney

It might seem like it’d be exciting to receive a message saying, “Which doll would you like from this website?” but I imagine the decision can actually be somewhat daunting. Tantaly carries a wide array of dolls in varying sizes; the one my partner reviewed was a petite 14 pounds, but the more lifelike models can reach weights of nearly 70 pounds.

This time around, I asked my appointed tester why he’d chosen the Britney model, and he said, “It was the lightest, while still being the most of a person.” In other words, he wanted the realism of having a full torso-size doll, so as to more closely replicate the experience of having sex with an actual human – as opposed to just being a butt or whatever – but he didn’t want masturbation to turn into a deadlift workout. The Britney weighs in at a reasonable 28.6 pounds.

Interestingly, he also asked his partner for her opinion on which doll he should choose. I think this is brilliant, having seen – both in my own friend group and in hotbeds of online sex discourse like Reddit – the havoc that can be wreaked on a relationship if one partner buys a sex doll or another “big commitment”-type sex toy without their partner’s knowledge or approval. Your solo sex life is your own, certainly, and I’m suspicious of anyone who thinks they get to non-consensually control your masturbation habits – but at the same time, I can imagine feeling a bit blindsided and hurt if a full-size sex doll showed up on my partner’s doorstep one day and they hadn’t even asked me how I’d feel about them owning one, y’know?

Although he had already looked through the options and thought Britney seemed like the best pick, my friend showed his partner the site and asked which one she thought he should go with – and she actually liked the Britney best, too, because its breast size was more average than that of some of the cartoonishly busty models on offer. I’ve gotta say, when it comes to measures of compatibility, I can think of worse ones than “similar taste in sex dolls.”

Using the Tantaly Britney

Mr. Tester was, for the most part, quite happy with the Britney. He’d never tried a sex doll before, but had used strokers like the Tenga Flip Zero. He said that the dick sensations were pretty similar between the two, but the overall experience of using the doll felt “less clinical” and made it easier to imagine that the toy was a real person. This fantasy aspect is probably the main reason to consider getting a sex doll rather than a stroker, plus the fact that you can get on top of a sex doll and thrust into it in a way that can be hard to achieve with a stroker. (Something like a Fleshlight mount can make this easier to do with some strokers, however.)

The Britney doll has two “tunnels” – a vagina and a butt – and my friend didn’t observe much difference in sensation between the two. The main factor as to why he might pick one over the other for any given session was related to positioning: certain positions work better for one hole or the other, such as standing at the edge of a bed.

Having a squeezable pair of boobs right in front of you is also a strong selling point, and something that my friend enjoyed. I mean, I get it. Boobs are great. If you’re into them, they’re definitely a major benefit of having a doll rather than a stroker or a disembodied butt or pussy.

The main issue with the Britney – and with seemingly every sex doll – is the cleaning. All three of the people I’ve asked to review sex dolls for me have described the post-session cleaning process as “a production” – you have to wash the toy’s orifice(s) out right away, resisting the urge to bask in the pleasant afterglow of orgasm, because any jizz or lube you leave in there can eventually get moldy and ruin your very expensive sex toy. (Hot, huh?)

Smaller dolls like the Scarlett can be washed out in a sink (depending on the size of your sink, natch), but dolls with more lifelike proportions like the Britney will need to be dragged into a shower or bathtub for their ritualistic post-fuck ablutions. The physical effort of doing this, and of carefully rinsing out all the cum, can be annoying enough to deter you from using the doll as often as you otherwise might. My friend said he’d be likeliest to use this doll at times when he had at least an hour free – not because he lasts that long (he said jokingly), but because realistically that’s about how long the full process takes, from dragging the doll out of her storage spot and setting her up on the bed to washing her out and drying her off after using her.

Another problem is that these dolls are prone to leaching dye onto your sheets – but fortunately my friend had read the user manual before fucking the doll for the first time (always a good idea when you get a new sex toy of any kind!) so he was prepared for this eventuality and laid down a towel under the doll.

Final thoughts

My friend thinks the Tantaly Britney is a high-quality product for its $329.99 price point, and that if you’re in the market for a sex doll, this one is definitely worth considering. Its soft curves and pleasurable orifices make for a masturbation experience that feels much closer to partnered sex than using a stroker. Unlike some of the other pals I’ve asked to review sex dolls for me, this friend thinks he will actually use this toy on a semi-regular basis even now that the review is done, because in many ways it’s a significant step up from simpler/smaller/cheaper toys like those by Tenga.

But with great pleasure comes great responsibility, and when it comes to sex dolls, mainly that means cleaning. If you can contend with the aggravating need to wash out the doll immediately after using it – and if your living situation and physical strength are such that you can transport the doll back and forth to the bathroom or kitchen as needed without too much trouble – then you might be a good candidate to own a sex doll.

Real-life sexual partners may not require you to clean them after sex, and may not stain your sheets with their skin like a sex doll can, but there’s still something comforting and exciting about the near-realism of a doll like the Britney.

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As always, everything I’ve written here is something I actually believe to be true.