Girly Juice

Sexual Goals for 2013

January 3, 2013June 13, 2015Kate Sloan

I’m a big list-maker. I make lists year-round, but especially when a new year is starting. And because my life and work are sex-centric, many of my goals end up being sex-related too. Here are some of the sexy things I hope to accomplish in 2013.

1. Get fucked in the ass with a strap-on.
Though I am interested in having anal sex eventually, it’s not something I think I’ll be emotionally and physically prepared for this year, at least not with my current partner’s average-sized penis. But I do want to explore anal play with him, so I came up with this compromise: he can wear my harness and fuck me with the teensy Tantus Acute. It’ll be much less intimidating than “real” anal sex, on multiple levels, and it’ll allow us both to figure out whether we’re ready to actually take that next step.

2. Enjoy G-spot play more often.
The sensations that emanate from my G-spot are almost scarily intense. They evoke all sorts of frightening thoughts and feelings, from the profound (“Will this open a door in my sex life that I will never be able to close again?”) to the trivial (“Am I going to pee the bed?”). For this reason, I tend to shy away from playing with my G-spot as much as I should, even though it feels awesome. In 2013, I want to step up my sexual exploration and take additional steps toward figuring out my G-spot.

3. Be photographed nude by my partner.
A girl I know has started up a magazine of feminist erotica, filled with hot images and words. I want to take some photos to submit to her, even if they get rejected for being too amateurish (hey, I’m no model). I want my partner to look at my naked body through a camera and take some shots of me playing with toys. This shit will be hot on so many levels.

4. Incorporate more spanking into our sexytimes.
My boyfriend used to spank me on a semi-regular basis, both as foreplay and as an accent to doggie-style sex. We’ve let it dwindle lately, which is silly, especially since I have an awesome paddle. More ass bruises, please!

5. Kiss somebody cute at #CrushTO.
I am an introvert. If I want to kiss someone, I have to put it on a list where I can check it off when it’s done, or it just won’t happen; I won’t have the motivation. So, here it is. I hope 2013 brings another giant game of tipsy Truth or Dare in a dark bar where everyone is sex-positive and in costume, and I hope for sweaty chemistry with some random stranger for a minute or two. Yesss.

What sexual things are you going to do in 2013?

Review: Lelo Gigi

December 27, 2012September 2, 2023Kate Sloan

Many times over the years, I’ve accompanied various friends to sex shops to help them pick out a vibrator. And many times, I’ve fawned over the Lelo Gigi, explaining the wonders of its rechargeability, G-spot curve, and elegant appearance. As a result, several of my friends have a Gigi of their own now – but I didn’t get one until just recently. (And yes, I did call up my friends and say, “We’re twins!”)

The Gigi is from Lelo’s first line of toys, and they’ve come a long way since then. The now-antiquated Gigi feels weak and buzzy compared to some of my other Lelo treasures, like the Siri and Mona. If you’re looking for power, this toy will disappoint you.

But it does have some redeeming qualities. For one thing, it’s incredibly beautiful. I don’t know if Lelo has gone in a less glamorous direction in recent years or if I just glamorize their original collection in my mind, but the Gigi is a stunner. It oozes femininity, feels amazingly smooth to the touch, and fits in my hand perfectly.

The G-spotting aspect is pretty good too, though I feel Mona does a better job of that. Gigi is shaped much like the Ella, Lelo’s G-spot dildo, which – although I like it – can’t provide the pressure that I need, because of its slightly bendy neck. The Gigi doesn’t have this problem, since it’s completely firm from tip to tail. However, it’s short – only about 4 ½” insertable – so it’ll only work for you if you have a fairly shallow G-spot (and, ideally, small hands so you can grip that little handle).

I can get off with the Gigi if I use its flat head on my clit, but it’s never anything spectacular. The vibrations are so surface-level that they start to desensitize me after just a few minutes, and they’re not even very strong – the highest speed always feels like not quite enough for me.

If you don’t mind a weak-ish, buzzy vibe as long as it’s beautiful, then you’ll be happy with the Gigi. But otherwise, I’d advise waiting around til Lelo inevitably releases a second version of this toy, with a stronger, rumblier motor.

Silly Search Terms

December 20, 2012June 13, 2015Kate Sloan

When I installed a stat counter on my website, it was only because certain toy retailers wanted to know how many hits my blog gets. I had no idea that it would result in endless amusement for me.

You might say, “But GJ, statistics aren’t funny!” And you’d be right. But you know what are funny? The phrases people type into Google that lead them to stumble upon my site.

I’m not at all intending to make fun of these people – I think it’s awesome that they’re being pro-active and trying to find whatever it is they want. I just thought I’d share some of my favorite search terms with you, and perhaps speculate as to their meanings. I’m not going to edit any spelling or grammar, because often it’s better that way.

1. why are boys so obsessed with cullingus
Setting aside the word “cullingus,” which sounds like either an inconvenient disease or a bland cauliflower dish – I want to know this girl. I want to know what events in her life have led her to this conclusion. Is she constantly being begged by boyfriends to let them go down on her? Has she encountered exclusively cunnilingus porn and gotten the idea that it’s the main kind? Does she just have really awesome selective perception? I’m intrigued.

2. why is my penis smaller when im tired
Is this a thing? I just asked my boyfriend if his gets smaller when he’s tired, and he said, “Um… I’ve never particularly noticed that.” Have you guys heard of this?

3. rubbing own clitoris during sex
This is actually a really common one. I guess either a lot of women are trying to figure out if it’s normal/okay for them to do this, or a lot of men are worried about whether their girlfriends’ pleasure-seeking means their penises are defective. For all you folks out there who might be inclined to Google something like this: it’s okay to incorporate clit stimulation into intercourse! In fact, most women need it to reach orgasm.

4. quietest tenga egg
I laughed. Tenga Eggs are fuckin’ loud. My boyfriend describes it as a “squitching” noise (not squishing, but squitching). FYI, anonymous searcher, the VerSpanken is practically silent, so go nuts.

5. pad porn
I’m not sure if this person was searching for Crash Pad Series clips or if they actually just want to see porn involving menstrual pads. Either way, I applaud them.

6. my boyfriend makes me wear a harness
Dude, that doesn’t sound consensual. Communication is important, and consent is crucial! Not cool.

7. is it easy for a beginner to rub their clit
It’s pretty self-explanatory, yeah.

8. I a man and I want a cock vibrater
I love this guy’s assertion and self-assuredness. No beating around the bush here!

9. how to make a bisexual raver girl like me?
If you ever find out, bro, make sure you let me know.

10. he likes to caress his uncut cock
The usage of the word “caress” is what makes this great, especially when you consider that the definitions of “caress” all involve the idea of showing affection to whatever you’re caressing. This dude really loves his uncut cock. Fantastic.

11. handjob empty completely balls
Is it just me, or does this sound like a porn parody of Yoda?

12. cute awkward girl porn
Is this a new porn genre, in the era of “cute awkward girls” like Zooey Deschanel and Alison Pill? Do we have a collective cultural desire to see dorky girls get ploughed? I’d be down for that.

13. control my boyfriend with handjobs
Is this consensual? ‘Cause if so, it sounds hot.

Review: Vibratex G-Spotter attachment

December 17, 2012August 9, 2021Kate Sloan

The Vibratex G-Spotter attachment is designed to slip over the head of your Hitachi to make it more versatile. I wasn’t a fan of my Hitachi, so I gave it away to a friend, and as a result, I’ve been testing out my new G-Spotter on the Bodywand. It fits perfectly, because the two wands are almost identical in shape and size.

The G-Spotter is made of vinyl, which is porous and may or may not contain phthalates. It’s probably unreasonable for me to expect a $15 toy to have some semblance of safety and health-consciousness, but I’m still kind of annoyed that this attachment has a strong rubbery smell and can never be fully sanitized.

This dude tells me my G-spot should like “firm pressure with mild vibration,” and he’s half-right. I don’t typically like internal vibration, though sometimes I can be swayed to enjoy it if it’s very strong and I’m very turned on.

However, this attachment totally misses my G-spot every time. The curve isn’t extreme enough. I’m sure it would work for some folks vaginally, but it sure didn’t work for me.

Clitorally, though, it’s much better. It focuses the broad power of my Bodywand into an inch-wide tip that my clit really digs. And when I have the patience and arm strength to hold the wand in one hand and a dildo in the other, it can be a very satisfying experience.

There’s another way to use this attachment: you can insert the vaginal part all the way, so that the wand’s head is mashed up against your clit. I tried this and found that the G-spot stimulation was too indirect and the clit vibration was too broad and numbing, but someone out there would surely love this sensation.

You could also insert it anally, but I wouldn’t recommend that unless you don’t plan on using it any other way. Once you get ass bacteria into the pores of this vinyl attachment, that bacteria’s not going anywhere – it’s there for life, so think wisely (or buy two, and label them clearly).

In the end, while the G-Spotter attachment certainly isn’t the fanciest toy out there, it fulfills a pretty useful purpose: it focuses the brute strength of my Bodywand into a slim, clit-approved point. I’d like to upgrade to a silicone version eventually, so I won’t have to worry about sanitary issues, but for now, this’ll do.

Many thanks, Sex Toys Canada!