Make Love, Not Porn

Kate Sloan

I received a beta invitation to MakeLoveNotPorn.TV under false pretences. I’m sorry, Cindy! I promised I would submit a video of myself jerking off with various toys if I got fast-tracked up the invitation list, but as it turns out, the website isn’t equipped yet to receive submissions from countries outside of the U.S. (and I live in Canada). Such a bummer! Oh well. Someday…

For those of you who don’t know, MakeLoveNotPorn.TV is an awesome not-yet-totally-launched website created by advertising guru and sex education enthusiast Cindy Gallop. It’s the logical next step after she launched MakeLoveNotPorn.com a few years back.

Just to be clear: the websites and their creators are not anti-porn. They are “pro-sex, pro-porn and pro-knowing the difference.” Their message is simple and yet huge: people shouldn’t learn how to have sex from watching hardcore pornography. Maybe that sounds obvious to you, but you’d be surprised how many people have no other way of learning about sex, since we live in a culture where sex ed is condemned and porn is fucking everywhere.

MakeLoveNotPorn.TV is sort of like Facebook meets YouTube, except it’s sex-focused. Cindy Gallop says she wants to make sex as socially acceptable and socially shareable as all those other relationship milestones we write about on our social media outlets. You know your friend who just posted all her wedding photos on Facebook? Well, what if she could share her sex life in the same way she shares her romantic life?

Contributors are encouraged to film themselves having “real-world sex”: organic, authentic, potentially even goofy. Unlike porn, the stars of the clips don’t “perform for the camera,” but instead, they focus on their partner(s) and the sex they’re having, just like they would if there was no camera in sight.

Each contribution must be accompanied by a $5 curation fee. This helps to cover the costs of running the site. If your video is accepted, it’s then published in the new edition that comes out every Wednesday, and people can “rent” it for $5. When they rent it, they can watch it as many times as they want for the next three weeks. Of the $5 they paid to rent your video, $2.50 goes to you, the contributor, and the other $2.50 goes to the website.

You might think that doesn’t sound very lucrative, and you’re right, it isn’t. But it’s fair, it’s better than nothing, and it’s part of a super fun and exciting social network. You can make friends, consensually spy on real people’s sex lives, chat about sex, and be as anonymous or upfront as you want.

And, as it turns out, you can also watch Danny Wylde have real-world sex.

I’ll be honest: this is mainly what enticed me about MLNP. The promotional materials declared that porn star Danny Wylde (who happens to be my favorite male porn performer, because he’s hot, eats pussy like a champ, and has an intact dick) had submitted a video of himself and his real-life girlfriend Lily LaBeau (also a porn star) gettin’ it on. Not in a performative, porn-set situation, but as if they were just doing it for themselves.

It is a tasty clip. Lily reveals in the behind-the-scenes footage that her vag often gets sore from how many porn scenes she shoots, so her real-world sex with Danny in this video is all about her ass. I’m not usually the hugest fan of anal sex in porn, but this clip sold me on it. Plus, Danny rims Lily. Uh, more dudes need to rim ladies in porn, because it’s hot.

My rental of the Danny/Lily clip is going to run out soon-ish, and after that, I’ll look for something else. Maybe some amateur pussy-eating. Whatever I end up choosing, I’m very damn appreciative that something like MakeLoveNotPorn.TV exists, because erotic performers need more fair compensation and everyday sex needs more recognition. Can I get an amen?!

Review: Vixen Creations Raquel

Kate Sloan

Pictures of the Vixen Raquel don’t do it justice. Its shape is deceptively simple: a somewhat skinny 7 ½" shaft, topped off by a slightly bulbous head that’s 1 5/8" thick. It doesn’t look fancy or fabulous, but that’s because all the magic is in the material.

See, the Raquel is made of VixSkin, a deliciously squishy dual-density silicone formulation. There’s a firm, barely yielding core, encased inside a very plushy softer silicone. So while Raquel looks more like a tentacle than a penis, it actually feels quite penis-like in use.

If you’re looking for jaw-droppingly intense G-spot stimulation, keep looking: what Raquel does is subtler, gentler. It can certainly be felt, but its presence in my vagina is cloudlike, ethereal. And my G-spot can only be satisfied by the Raquel when it’s in motion, usually being thrust pretty quickly.

But oh, does it satisfy. That bulging head rubs over my G-spot with the dexterity and sweetness of an adoring lover. This is not the kind of dildo that makes me scream, “Oh fuck yes!” like the Pure Wand does, but it can make me want to moan, “Oh yeah. Just like that.”

It has some other nice features, too. A beautiful, iridescent white base. A moderately successful suction cup on the bottom. But really, it’s all about that big juicy head. It’s a total G-spot seductress.

I don’t know what else to tell ya, bro. If your G-spot is into soft, squishy, but pussy-meltingly spot-on stimulation, get the Raquel. There’s a reason why VixSkin is one of the most lusted-after materials in the sex toy kingdom.

Sharing the Sexy #11

Kate Sloan

• An anonymous Frisky contributor wrote about 5 sexual acts she was surprised she enjoyed. I don’t have enough sexual experience to make a list of my own, but I was taken aback by how much I enjoyed the one and only rimjob I’ve ever received. How about you?

• Artist and entrepreneur Molly Crabapple wrote a piece for Vice about being “a professional naked girl”. (On a related note, I recently had some very nice nudes taken of myself and it is taking all of my willpower to keep myself from posting them everywhere.)

• Melissa McEwan wrote eloquently and emotively about how anti-choice legislature is pretty similar to rape, in the sense that both involve superseding a woman’s consent (or lack thereof) to what’s done to her own body.

• This Japanese sex guide is too weird.

My Love Affair with the VixSkin Mustang

Kate Sloan

The Mustang dildo by Vixen Creations has a formidable following. People rave about it. As one of the only Vixen dildos with manageably average measurements, it’s a very popular choice. After deciding I needed to own something made of VixSkin, it wasn’t long before I set my sights on the Mustang.

But for the first month or so after I got it, I wasn’t that impressed with it. “The VixSkin Mustang is too squishy and floppy to rub my G-spot the way I like,” I wrote in my initial review. And it was true – up until that point, my G-spot had only really been exposed to firm silicone, glass, steel, and hard plastic. To use a metaphor: if you’ve been blasting Led Zeppelin all your life, you’re unlikely to be too impressed by Vivaldi when you first start listening to his delicate compositions. But give it a while, and you might come around.

That’s what happened to me. I kept trying and trying to make the Mustang work for me, because it’s an expensive toy and I didn’t want it to go to waste… and after some time, I grew to like it. And then I grew to love it.

As far as realistic dildos go, it’s hard to find one more perfect than the Mustang. It’s non-porous and body-safe, has a killer G-spot curve and ultra-stimulating coronal ridge, flares comfortably in diameter to its widest spot at the bottom of the shaft, and isn’t so realistic as to look creepy. (Well, it creeps my boyfriend out a little, but that’s okay, he’s not the one shoving it inside of him.)

The VixSkin Mustang has surprised me by becoming one of my go-to dildos – so much that I find myself lusting after it in the new “fluoro-green” color even though I already have one. When you wish you owned more than one of the same toy, that’s a pretty dependable sign that it’s a keeper.

Girly Juice’s Guide to Bacterial Vaginosis

Kate Sloan

UGHHH! I hate having BV. I really, really do. I was chatting to my boyfriend about it and started to say, “It is truly one of the worst things that can happen to a vagina,” but then I started thinking about the things that humans do to vaginas (which I can’t go into without a trigger warning) and realized that the things our own bodies do to our vaginas are perhaps not that bad after all.

However. To borrow a gross turn of phrase, bacterial vaginosis sucks donkey balls. And I recently cured myself of it (for the time being?!) with at-home remedies rather than seeing my doctor for antibiotics, so I thought I’d write up a little guide for you lovely people about how you can do that too.

Disclaimer: I am not, in any way, a medical professional. All the advice in this post was gathered from online sources and my own experiments. Use this information at your own risk!

First of all… What the hell is BV?

It’s essentially the result of a bacterial imbalance in the vagina. The good bacteria, which naturally produce hydrogen peroxide to keep the vaginal environment healthfully acidic, lose some kind of battle (see below for ways that this may happen) and then the bad bacteria overpower your poor innocent vagina, wreaking havoc and making your pussy miserable.

You may have BV if…

• You’re experiencing typical symptoms of a urinary tract infection (a burning sensation when you pee, and the persistent feeling of needing to pee) but typical UTI cures aren’t helping.

• Your vaginal discharge smells different – fishy and strong, but not bread-like (that would be a yeast infection, which I can’t advise you on because I’ve never had one).

• It hurts a lot more than usual to be vaginally penetrated. This is often a burning pain.

• Your vagina feels generally sore and unhappy.

What causes BV? Well, anything that causes a bacterial imbalance in the vagina. This may include…

• Wearing underwear, pants, or other lower-body clothing that is too tight and restrictive. Prevent this by wearing looser-fitting clothes on your bottom half, and switching to 100% cotton underwear.

• Getting fecal bacteria in the vagina. Yecch. Always wipe from front to back, don’t wear thongs, and don’t let anything touch your vagina/vulva that’s recently been near an ass.

• Washing your vagina with soap. Some people can handle mild soaps; others can’t handle any at all. Please remember that the vagina is self-cleaning so all you need to do is rinse it with water and a washcloth.

• Leaving an object in your vagina for too long. This could be a menstrual cup, a set of kegel balls, or anything else that gets held in your vag for more than a few hours at a time. You need to take that shit out and wash it every few hours or bacteria will accumulate on it and fuck up your natural chemistry.

• Putting a dirty object or substance inside your vagina. This should be an obvious one. Keep your sex toys clean, don’t use shitty porous sex toys, don’t have sex with anyone who looks like they were recently rolling around in a pigsty, don’t use saliva as lube, and wash your hands before you do any fingerfucking.

• Plain bad luck. Some people are chronic BV sufferers for mysterious reasons. The above precautions may help, as can changing your diet and overall lifestyle, but there are some unknown factors at play for some people.

How do you cure it?

From what I’ve been reading online, it looks like there are 3 basic steps to fixing your vagina when it’s been hit with BV.

1. Kill off the bad bacteria.

2. Re-acidify the vagina.

3. Re-populate with good bacteria.

You will need…

• Hydrogen peroxide. I used a 3% concentration and that worked fine, though if your vagina is very sore and sensitive, you may want to dilute it with water.

• A syringe (the kind used for administering liquid medication to children) or another tool for getting liquid into your vagina, such as an empty/clean douche or even a turkey baster (again, please make sure it’s CLEAN).

• Acidophilus capsules. These should contain at least 10 million active colony-forming cultures of acidophilus, ideally more (I used one that contains 0.4 billion). It can be hard to find capsules that contain just acidophilus; it’s okay if these have other kinds of probiotics in them, as long as they don’t contain any weird additives like sugar, dye, or cranberry extract.

• Apple cider vinegar. (By my estimation, this is optional, though you can spring for it if you want to be really thorough.)

Here’s how to do it:

1. Douche with hydrogen peroxide. This kills off the bad bacteria and helps to balance the vagina’s pH. Use the syringe to insert about two tablespoons. Lie on your back and leave it in for about 3 minutes. It may sting a bit. If this is truly painful, dilute the hydrogen peroxide next time.

2. Then, douche with apple cider vinegar. This re-acidifies the vagina. I’m not convinced that this step is necessary, as I feel that the hydrogen peroxide does some re-acidifying as well – plus, vinegar burns like a bitch. If you decide to do this, I strongly recommend that you dilute the vinegar at least 2:1, or even just pour some into your bathwater instead.

3. Before bed, insert an acidophilus capsule. Cut it open or make some holes in it, so that the powder inside can get out. Shove it up as far as you can, so it’ll stay in all night. If it doesn’t come out on its own the next day, you should remove it yourself (I’ve been using my Fun Wand!).

4. Repeat every day until your symptoms are gone. This isn’t like a prescription medication; you shouldn’t continue to do it “just for good measure” if your symptoms are already gone, or you risk over-acidifying your vag, which can lead to its own host of problems. Try to leave at least a couple of hours between the douches and the capsule, so you won’t overload your poor vag.

This worked for me and apparently it’s been successful for others. What home remedies do you use for vaginal issues?