Review: Lelo Siri

Kate Sloan

I’m a Lelo fangirl. (What sex toy reviewer isn’t, though?) My first-ever luxury sex toy was the Nea; it served me well until I discovered stronger, rumblier vibes and decided to give my unsatisfying Nea away to a friend. I also own the Mia, Mona, Tiani, and Ella, all of which are, if not great, then at least beautiful and luxurious.

My latest Lelo acquisition is the Siri, and it is – dare I say it? – maybe my favorite of the bunch.

When Lelo first launched Siri, they marketed it as the strongest vibrator they had ever made. They’re not exactly known for the power of their toys, but this was still an intriguing claim. Could there finally be a toy that truly possessed the holy duality of power and glamor?

Yes. It exists. And it’s spectacular.

The Siri comes in three colors: red, pink, and purple. I picked red, because there are enough pink and purple vibrators out there, dammit. It’s really sweet-looking; it’s often been said that Lelo’s products look like what would happen if Apple tried to take on the sex toy market (funny, given the whole “Siri” thing), and this is certainly true of Siri. It’s made of smooth, shiny ABS plastic, and the part that’ll be touching your vulva is covered in a layer of silky silicone.

As with most Lelo toys, it has four buttons: two of them control the intensity of the vibrations, and the other two control the modes, which range from standard pulses and waves to a really weird song-like pattern that goes all over the place. I like the modes, but it’s annoying that they don’t loop around once you get to the last one – you have to scroll back through them if you want to get to the first one again.

All the times that I’ve picked up a Siri in a sex shop and felt its vibrations, I’ve thought, “Yeah, this is strong, but it’s not that strong.” It didn’t seem likely to rock my world. But the shape of the Siri, and the way the vibrations are located at the surface rather than being buried inside, make all the difference. This is how efficiently these vibrations are placed: I’ve never needed to use the highest setting of this toy. I seem to always get off around setting 6 or 7, rather than going all the way up to 10. Amazing.

When testing the Siri, I spent a lot of time mentally comparing it to the We-Vibe Tango, my other favorite clitoral vibe. The Tango is definitely much stronger and rumblier, but all that power is concentrated into only four possible speeds. Many times, I’ve moved up to the next speed on the Tango and found that it felt too strong. I got overstimulated and needed to back off. The Siri’s settings move up much more gradually, so I can get exactly as much power as I need at any given moment; no more, no less. (The Tango is absolutely the better choice if you’re a Hitachi girl, though.)

The only real downside to the Siri is that it’s not waterproof. It’s not even splashproof. This is a tragedy. Lelo recently re-designed some of their line to be completely waterproof, and I’m really hoping that Siri gets a similar overhaul. It’s disappointing that a toy so expensive would be so lacking in this way.

But overall? I’m in love with Siri. It has charmed the hell out of my clit. It’s small, strong, quiet, intuitive, ergonomic, beautiful, reliable, and portable. I wish I could kiss the Lelo design team, because they really know what’s up.

Cheap Orgasms, Anyone?

Kate Sloan

I usually believe that a more expensive sex toy has got to be better than a cheap one. After all, my all-time favorite toy costs $140 plus a $40 attachment; runners-up cost anywhere from $79 to $139. These toys are pricey for a reason, and that reason is: they’re good.

However, some quality sex toys are, indeed, cheap. Here’s a few solid and inexpensive options…

1. California Exotics’ Turbo Glider is a popular, classic, traditional vibrator. It’s made of hard plastic, the only sex toy material I’m aware of which manages to be non-porous, body-safe, and cheap. It’s waterproof, has some very pleasing texture, and is also the strongest battery-operated vibe I’ve ever come across. At $16, you can hardly call it an investment, but if it was, it’d be a worthwhile one!

2. Don Wands’ Bent Graduate is a wonderful glass dildo that goes straight for the G-spot. It’s double-ended, easy to get clean, and comes in cute colors. What’s not to like?

3. Tantus makes a dildo called Acute which is tiny but hits my G-spot like a mofo. Seriously, I’ve switched over to this toy many times mid-wank because the dildo I was previously using just wasn’t cutting it in terms of G-spot stimulation. It would also be fabulous for pegging, though I don’t currently have a willing partner for that one! At only $32, it’s an absolute steal for a toy I use as often as I do.

4. Another California Exotics toy! (See, they’re not all bad.) The Eclipse vaginal balls are one of the best kegel toys I’ve found – lots of delicious bouncing, sturdy retrieval cord, cute design – and they also happen to be made of body-safe materials. Plus they cost $23. I recommend these all the time to people who are looking for balls to put in their vag, because I’ve tried several and these remain my favorites.

5. The RodeoH briefs harness is arguably not that cheap on the whole, but as far as harnesses go, you’re not going to find a better one for any cheaper. It retails for $45, looks foxy on just about anyone, holds dildos in place for sexytimes, and doesn’t have a million straps you have to snap and adjust and fiddle with. This is the only harness I own and I don’t have any desire for another, because this one does its job so damn well.

What are your favorite toys for under $50?

Sharing the Sexy #9

Kate Sloan

• A study was done to determine average penis size by country.

• Would you buy alcohol that gets poured over a model’s naked tits as part of the production process?

• Looks like Tokyo is opening a bar devoted to female masturbation. You can buy vibrators over the counter and discuss your solo sex life with fellow bar-goers. Would you go?

• I had never heard of figging before this week, but it’s such an interesting BDSM practice!

• This month, the more boob videos you view, the more money PornHub will donate to breast cancer research!

Review: Bodywand

Kate Sloan

The Bodywand is trying to compete with the Hitachi, and when you do that, you better be damn good. And guess what? The Bodywand holds up.

Like the Hitachi, it’s electrically powered, about a foot long, incredibly strong, blue and white, and super buzzy. However, there are reasons why you should get a Bodywand instead of (or in addition to) a Hitachi, and I’m going to list some of those reasons now.

1. It’s stronger. No, seriously, it is. I did a side-by-side test with both vibes on their highest setting (frankly, I’m shocked I didn’t blow a fuse) and the Bodywand wins. Not by much, but by enough to be significant and noticeable. Power queens, rejoice!

2. It has a dial instead of a switch. This is excellent news for vibrator users who, like me, prefer to move up in small increments rather than just flicking from low to high. The dial lets you move exactly as gradually as you like. This is the factor which makes me prefer the Bodywand over the Hitachi – I can get just a little more power, when that’s what I need, and I can also back off just a tiny bit when I start to get overstimulated. And it’s all as easy as a quick, intuitive turn of the dial. All vibrators should be like this.

3. It’s easier to hold. I don’t know the exact weight of either toy, but the Bodywand feels about two-thirds as heavy as the Hitachi, maybe less. Definitely a plus if you like to use your vibrators for a long time or if you have physical issues that make heavy toys inconvenient or impossible to use. The Bodywand’s shape is also more ergonomic; it tapers at either end and the blue plastic in the middle is textured for easier gripping. Bravo!

4. It’s cuter. A lot of people say the Hitachi is ugly, and while I don’t agree, the Bodywand absolutely wins in the looks department. The design is feminine without being cloying. The combination of white and robin’s egg blue is adorable.

5. It’s safer. Well, presumably. It has air vents on the back, so it doesn’t ever overheat, unlike the Hitachi which can start to get warm after prolonged use, especially under a blanket. I’ve never been seriously afraid that my vibrator might cause a house fire, but for all you worrywarts out there, the Bodywand seems less likely to set your bed aflame mid-wank.

The only good reason I can think for choosing the Hitachi over the Bodywand is if noise is a big factor for you. On its lower settings, it’s a lot quieter than the Hitachi, but when you get up to the higher settings, it’s louder (despite the website’s claims that the toy “never sounds louder than an easy hum” – sorry, but that’s bull). I have to say, though – if you’re considering buying a wand-style massager, odds are good that you’ve already accepted loudness as par for the course.

At $70, the electric version of the Bodywand (as opposed to the rechargeable or mini versions) is a bit pricier than the Hitachi, but I think it’s worth it. It’s more appealing in every way that matters to me. And it can get me off, no problem, every single time.

Review: Laura Berman Kona

Kate Sloan

There’s so much to like about the Laura Berman Kona. But it’s all ruined by the lack of a proper handle.

I wanted the Kona because it has the thing that makes my G-spot swoon: a big, round bulb, followed by a skinny shaft. And indeed, that part of the toy is perfect. It’s a “hits the spot immediately” kind of toy.

The trouble, though, is that when a toy hits my G-spot that well, it makes me want to thrust it in and out really fast for extended periods of time. And that is completely impossible with the Kona, unless you have the world’s shallowest G-spot.

I don’t think mine is excessively deep, but I just can’t make the Kona thrust the way I want it to, because it’s too damn short and it has no handle. The entire length of the toy is 5", which seems to be exactly the depth of my vagina. It doesn’t take very long at all for my genitals to swallow up the Kona, almost completely. And there’s no way I can do any serious thrusting if the amount of “handle” I’ve got to work with is an inch or smaller.

The Kona is also marketed as a kegel exerciser. In fact, this is the primary usage that’s listed in its description, which – in addition to Laura Berman’s insistence on calling it a “vaginal stimulator” instead of a dildo – just annoys me. But nonetheless, it’s a decent kegel tool. You insert the bulb, squeeze your muscles tight, and try to pull the toy out with your hand. It provides some solid resistance and a bit of G-spot stimulation – more than can be said for a lot of kegel toys out there.

The Kona is supposedly pure silicone but it smells rubbery/plasticky. I’m too much of a nervous nellie to do a “flame test” to check the accuracy of its silicone claims, but I have my doubts.

If you’re shopping for an inexpensive silicone G-spot dildo, you could do worse than the Laura Berman Kona. It hits the spot wonderfully and doubles as a cool kegel device. But please only buy this toy if you know for certain that you don’t like fast thrusting, or you have an exceptionally shallow G-spot; otherwise you’ll just end up with a pussy full of useless silicone.