8 Top-Notch Rom-Coms for Sex Nerds & Smarties

Kate Sloan

A few months ago, I was on the phone with a cute cinephile boy with whom I watch movies sometimes, and he said: “I’m excited to watch more rom-coms with you. I feel like that’s, like, your genre.”

I was surprised, and also touched. Although I’m a lifelong cinephile myself (with thanks to my mother, a former entertainment reporter, who has introduced me to many a movie), I hadn’t given much conscious thought to which genres I love most – but it’s probably true that I’ve seen more romantic comedies than any other type of movie. What can I say – ya girl loves a love story, especially when the two lead characters are funny as fuck!

That being said, obviously not all rom-coms are created equal… so today I thought I’d tell you about 8 of my current faves, which are likely to appeal to the readership of this blog: kinky, witty, silly sex nerds. (Hi; you are my people!) I hope you enjoy these, if you decide to check ’em out!

They Came Together (2014)

Had to start with this one, because if you love romantic comedies, I think you’ll enjoy this incisive skewering of the genre. Amy Poehler and Paul Rudd star as candy entrepreneur Molly and businessboy Joel. Their romance is goofy and sweet, but mostly the joy of this movie is the way it satirizes rom-com tropes while still somehow celebrating them. I hate rom-com parodies that are clearly derogatory toward the genre, and this feels more loving than that, aptly for a romance!

Hit Man (2023)

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that prestige director Richard Linklater made one of my favorite rom-coms, given that he also made one of my favorite comedies (School of Rock) and possibly the most romantic series of films ever (the Before trilogy)! Hit Man stars the magnetic Glen Powell as a nebbish psychology professor named Gary, who gets roped into going undercover as a fake killer-for-hire to help the cops arrest people who are trying to have someone murdered.

We see Gary pretend to be many different hit men, in montages that reminded me of the initial makeover scene in Mrs. Doubtfire [complimentary!!] – and ultimately one of the big messages of this movie is that your identity and self-image are largely constructed, and can be reshaped as you see fit. That’s exactly what happens to Gary when he develops feelings for one of the women he’s supposed to be arresting: she’s trying to hire a hit man to kill her abusive husband, which naturally pulls at sweet Gary’s heartstrings, even as he’s pretending to be an ultra-macho contract-killer. Needless to say, complications ensue! I find this movie really charming, and every time I’ve watched it, I’ve felt inspired to reinvent myself a little (or a lot), like Gary does.

Sleeping with Other People (2015)

Who knew a romantic comedy could tackle the topics of sex addiction and love addiction? And that it could do so sensitively and in a mostly non-stigmatizing way, while still being funny as fuck and deeply romantic? Damn! How did writer-director Leslye Headland do it?! Jason Sudeikis and Alison Brie star as Jake and Lainey, two friends who slept together once in college, drifted apart, and then run into each other many years later at a 12-step meeting for sex & love addicts. They opt to stay platonic so they can hold each other accountable while both trying to kick their chronic infidelity habit, but naturally, attraction gets in the way.

I found this one funny in the way that people are funny in real life, which is always nice to see. Jason Mantzoukas, Natasha Lyonne, Amanda Peet and Adam Brody are all wonderful in their supporting roles. Sex nerds, take note: Adam Scott (of Severance and Stepbrothers fame) plays a hot gynecologist (!!), and also there’s a delightful and surprisingly sexy scene where Jake teaches Lainey how to finger herself by doing a hands-on demo with a glass bottle standing in for her vagina. This might be my favorite rom-com at the moment, honestly!

Red, White & Royal Blue (2023)

What if the president of the United States was a woman… and she had a hot adult son who aspired to also go into politics… and that son had an infamous, tabloid-stoked rivalry with the (also hot, also adult) Prince of England… except then the Prince and the First Son fell in love, and had to keep it a secret from the world? That’s my elevator pitch for Red, White & Royal Blue, a sharp political rom-com based on the novel of the same name by Casey McQuiston. (I am obsessed with Casey’s books and am dying for a movie adaptation of The Pairing one of these days! Best romance novel ever!)

Fame/celebrity and managing one’s public image are themes I’m frequently drawn to in movies, perhaps because I was raised by an entertainment reporter and a public relations specialist – so, naturally, I love this movie and its fairly realistic depiction of how such a scandalous gay romance might play out on the world stage. Taylor Zakhar Perez shines bright as whip-smart Alex Claremont-Diaz, while Nicholas Galitzine brings a lovely mix of warmth and wit to the role of Prince Henry. My fellow queers might also recognize Sarah Shahi (Carmen in The L Word) in a supporting role. Hella cute and thought-provoking movie!

Kissing Jessica Stein (2001)

Am I predisposed to like this one because it’s about a neurotic Jewish journalist exploring her bisexuality in New York City (hi, it moi)? Probably. But it’s still a fun film. Based on a play that was co-created by the movie’s two stars Jennifer Westfeldt and Heather Juergensen, this movie follows the titular Jessica Stein as she decides to try dating women for the first time, after a series of disastrous incidents with men. (Lord, I relate.)

Like most of my favorite rom-coms, this one has several scenes that are just really great conversations, shot beautifully in one of my favorite cities. It raises questions of identity, authenticity, and the nature of love and friendship. Jackie Hoffman is hilarious as Jessica’s bestie/work wife, and Tovah Feldshuh has a hell of a monologue in the third act that makes me cry every goddamn time. I’ve loved this movie for many years and it still holds up!

Palm Springs (2020)

Someone asked me recently whether I’d consider Groundhog Day a romantic comedy, which is a tough question; I think technically it is, but its darkly existentialist time-loop conceit makes it feel more like a dramedy than a rom-com. But Palm Springs is a proper time-loop rom-com – it has effectively identical ‘game mechanics’ to the loop in Groundhog Day, but instead focuses on the question: What if your crush got trapped in the time loop with you?

Andy Samberg stars as Nyles, a guy who’s been re-living the same day over and over for who knows how long. The day in question happens to be a wedding day, but not his wedding; he’s just a guest. Eventually he befriends the maid of honor, Sarah (played by Cristin Milioti), who – through a series of circuitous events – gets stuck in the time loop with him, and they start strategizing together on how to escape. Oh yeah, and naturally they fall in love somewhere in there as well! This movie is somehow just as funny as it is sad, and ultimately it’s a touching illustration of how love makes us feel less alone in the universe. (Jonesing for another wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey rom-com? About Time is a fun watch!)

Ruby Sparks (2012)

Tough to say if this is a rom-com or a horror film; depends on your perspective, really! Real-life married couple Paul Dano and Zoe Kazan star as tortured novelist Calvin and the manic pixie dream girl he writes into existence, Ruby. At first she’s just a figment of his imagination, but then somehow she becomes very real, turning from a literary creation into a corporeal girlfriend. The more independent and self-actualized she gets, the more that incel-coded Calvin starts to freak out – and we watch him deal with his discomfort by trying to control her and subdue her through his writing, to mixed results.

Paul Dano is zany, scary, evil and captivating in this; Zoe Kazan wrote the movie herself, and is pitch-perfect as the titular Ruby, a quirky queen for the ages. I see this as a staunchly feminist film, in that it interrogates (some) men’s need to control women and the havoc they wreak on those women’s personhood – and ultimately, on themselves – by doing so. It’s also a devastating pastiche of the manic pixie dream girl trope (I even felt inspired to write a song called Manic Pixie shortly after seeing this flick for the first time). Big recommend, if you can stomach it!

Long Shot (2019)

When I first heard that Charlize Theron and Seth Rogen did a rom-com together, I found it hard to imagine how that could possibly work; in my head she’s this imperious cool beauty from heavy drama films and he is a scruffy stoner-comedy bro. But of course, they are both fantastic performers with a helluva lotta range, as this movie clearly shows!

Theron plays a vaguely Hillary-coded Secretary of State named Charlotte Field, who embarks on a presidential run. As her go-to speechwriter, she hires down-on-his-luck politics reporter Fred Flarsky (Rogen), whom she knows because she used to babysit him when they were teens. Most of the plot’s twists and turns felt fairly realistic from a political optics perspective (except for the very end, but whatever – we can suspend our disbelief for love!), and Rogen’s performance as a dorky, impassioned, lefty nerd is remarkably natural and fun. I tagged this one #smartie4smartie on Letterboxd because, like a lot of my favorite rom-coms, the lead characters are both brainy as fuck and it’s one of the things that draws them to each other! 🧠💖

 

Dear readers, what are your favorite rom-coms? Feel free to let me know in the comments!

P.S. Want to follow along with my movie-watching adventures? Go add me on Letterboxd!

Are You Being Sexualized, or Just Flirted With?

Kate Sloan
Photo by mb

“Does this person actually like me, or do they just want to fuck me?”

This is a question I’ve pondered countless times in my life. It has been the source of much misery and angst. It has been dissected at length in many a journal entry. But I’m beginning to think that the question itself is based on a false premise – that sexual and romantic attraction are mutually exclusive.

It’s weird how often our culture – especially its more heterosexual side – depicts these feelings as a binary, where one cannot truly exist in the presence of the other. Growing up, much of the messaging I received about boys and sex (from media as well as from people in my own life) insinuated that if a guy pursued you for sex, he didn’t respect you as a person – and that if you “granted” him the sex he was seeking, he would respect you even less, and would never deign to date you. Conventional wisdom insisted that if I ever wanted a man to commit to me, I should deny him sex for as long as possible (thereby denying myself sex too, by the way!) – and that if a man was willing to endure a sexless interlude of indeterminate length, it meant he really liked me.

But I feel nauseous just writing that out! What an awful, depressing worldview! I don’t want human relationships to work that way – and I don’t think they actually do, in most cases. Sure, there are shallow cads (of all genders) who see sex as a prize to be pursued, rather than a pleasure to be shared – and there are also people who can and do separate sex from love (or even from liking), as in certain friendships-with-benefits and other casual arrangements. But for the most part, humans don’t experience lust in a vacuum – I think most of us would say our sexual attractions are informed by the non-physical traits we feel drawn to, whether those include intelligence, humor, charm, worldliness, dominance, submissiveness, or anything else.

I can definitely understand why we sometimes forget this, though, especially since being objectified for your body and sexuality can feel gross as hell. In my early twenties, I found it deeply off-putting when someone tried to leap into sexting when we’d barely just started messaging – not only because I felt this indicated poor social skills on their part, but also because it made me feel like a cardboard cutout of a woman, onto which one could project one’s fantasies (and jizz). They might as well have typed “porno babes in bikinis” or “lesbian sexy AI” into a Google search instead of sending me missives about their genitals. Of course their desire for me felt objectifying – they didn’t know me well enough to see me as anything other than an object.

But we have to be aware of when our past traumas are incorrectly coloring our view of our current situation. Although I’m in my thirties now, I still sometimes lapse into black-and-white thinking when someone expresses sexual desire for me early on. Alarm bells go off in my head: They just think you’re hot! They don’t care about your brain, your heart, your art! Once they fuck you, they’ll disappear forever, leaving you feeling worthless and alone!

When this happens, I try to take a deep breath and assess what I actually know. Usually, I come to the realization that the other person’s desire – much like my own – is fuelled and shaped by the specificities of who it’s aimed at. I long for the sweet golden-retriever softboy in a different way than I long for the sardonic dive-bar punk. My crush on the ballsy dominatrix with great eyebrows feels qualitatively different from my crush on the funny flannel-clad barista with fuzzy forearms. Every attraction is its own unique thing, beautiful and bright, and the sexual slant of a desire doesn’t preclude it from also having a romantic element. In fact, my solely-sexual crushes tend to blow away in the wind; it’s only the more emotionally substantive ones that stick around in my spank bank. Sex is so much more compelling when it’s not just skin-deep – and I don’t just mean that as a penetration joke!

So, the next time you find yourself reflexively wondering if someone really likes you or just likes the sex they could have with you, ask yourself: Do they seem curious about you, interested in you, eager to get to know you? Do their compliments (if they give any) reach beyond the realm of the physical? Do they value traits in you that you also value in yourself? Or does their desire seem to stem from who they think you are, who they see you as, or who they want you to be?

These things can be difficult to discern sometimes, but I think they’re worth reflecting on… if just because sex with someone who sees into your soul is one of the hottest experiences imaginable. 🥵

 

This post contains a sponsored link. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

5 Ways to Learn More About Your Gender

Kate Sloan
Sometimes my gender feels like a queer femme version of a boy at summer camp 😂 (featuring beautiful mb in the background)

I’m no gender expert, but I sure have thought a lot about my own gender. And I think more people could stand to do that type of deep thinking, whether they ultimately come to the conclusion that they’re cis, trans, or some flavor of gender-agnostic.

Socrates said “the unexamined life is not worth living,” and while I wouldn’t go that far, I do think an unexamined gender can cause you grief. Stumbling through life within the bounds of a prescribed gender role, without ever seriously interrogating that role’s suitability for you (or lack thereof), can breed resentment, anxiety, anger, insecurity, and depression. I’ve seen it happen – often for people who later discovered themselves to be trans, but also for some cis people who came to reject conventional gender strictures that had been stressing them out or holding them back. Who says a man or woman (or enby, for that matter) has to look and act a certain way? And more to the point, do you want to listen to them?

With that in mind, here are 5 quick suggestions for exploring your gender more deeply, if you haven’t already…

Work your way through My New Gender Workbook by Kate Bornstein

An absolute classic in the queer-&-trans canon. I’m sure it’s saved countless lives by this point. It’s a workbook that asks you questions about gender to help you figure yourself out. Kate Bornstein is a nonbinary icon and queer elder, and all of their books are fantastic, but this one holds a special place in my heart because of how practical, thought-provoking, and kindness-forward it is. I’ve gifted it to many, many people over the years, and lots of them have told me that they found it helpful.

Talk to other people about their gender

If you’ve got trans and/or queer friends who are open to it, you could pick their brain about gender: how they feel about their own, what led them to their current gender presentation, whether they see gender as a spectrum or something else, etc. Tread carefully, because this can be a touchy subject for some, with good reason – trans people especially are too often expected to justify and explain their gender, often in dehumanizing ways, so it’s quite reasonable if they don’t want to discuss it with you. But if they are down to chat, you might find their insights illuminating. Ideas on gender vary a lot across time and space, too, so you’d probably get vastly different answers from, say, lesbian poets in Bushwick than from trans escorts in Melbourne or drag performers in Paris.

Try on clothes you don’t normally wear

Clothing is one of the main ways we express our gender in the world, so it makes sense that changing the way you dress can be one of the most impactful – but also scariest – ways to push yourself outside your comfort zone gender-wise. Rampant transphobia might make this tricky or outright unsafe to do in public sometimes, unfortunately (which fuckin’ sucks; everyone should get to safely experience the joy of a fitting-room glow-up moment!!), but at the very least, you can do it in your own home. You could borrow a friend or partner’s clothing (with their permission, hopefully!), hit up your local thrift store, or maybe even just alter some clothes you already own. Try on a new gender expression for size, and notice how it feels!

Keep a gender envy journal

I forget which trans friend of mine introduced me to the concept of ‘gender envy,’ but it’s such a specific feeling that now I always notice it when it comes up! Sometimes I’ll see a person walking down the street, or a character in a piece of media, who activates a sense of longing inside me. It’s a specific longing to look like that person, dress like them, move like them, talk like them, and/or be perceived the ways they are perceived. For instance, Jane Lane from Daria and Spinelli from Recess were some of the first characters I ever felt this way about – and still to this day, I love dressing hard-femme/soft-butch like them, and wearing black leather boots and sharp-shouldered jackets like they do.

Part of self-discovery is simply mindfulness: paying attention to which things consistently light you up and attract you. Start keeping a journal of all the people and characters you feel gender envy toward, and you might notice some useful patterns after a while!

Make a list of adjectives

I don’t know about you, but I find terms like “masculine” and “feminine” to be pretty limiting in their scope when I’m trying to define somebody’s gender, including my own. These concepts are highly dependent on time, place, socioeconomic context, etc., and ultimately they can feel imprecise (or beside the point entirely) for those of us who deviate from the beaten path at all.

So, instead of trying to locate yourself on a binaristic gender spectrum, maybe ask yourself which adjectives describe the gender you find dreamiest to imagine embodying. (It’s okay if this changes over time, or even from day to day!) For example, here are some adjectives that describe my particular queer-cis-femme gender at the moment: brash, funny, charming, dapper, sharp, swaggery, sparkly, slutty, irreverent, and bright. What words come to mind for you?

 

Dear reader, how deeply have you explored your own gender? Have any of these methods been helpful for you?

 

This post contains a sponsored link. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Behind the Seams: Cruising for Sushi & Comedy Babes

Kate Sloan

October 8th, 2025

If I look a little frazzled in these photos, it’s because I’d been out late on a great date the night before… but it’s also because I desperately needed a haircut! Went to see the wonderful Carlin, who fixed me right up.

I’d recently attended a party at a bar where Jenna Marbles videos were inexplicably being projected onto one wall, and when my metamour asked the bar if they could turn it off, they instead just changed it to a documentary about GG Allin… which inspired me to dig out this T-shirt that bears his name alongside some Dr. Seuss parody art.

What I’m wearing:
• “Gonna fuck this ham” T-shirt – the Black Market several years ago; I cut off the neckline and sleeves in a nonconformist delirium
• Jeans – thrifted
• Black leather jacket – Danier Leather
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• Vintage black leather Coach Station bag – bought on eBay circa 2012

October 10th, 2025

On Bluesky I described this outfit as a mix between Courtney Love and Violet Beauregarde – in the sense that it’s a classic Courtney dress+boots combo, but all in Violet’s signature color! Wore this out to a fancy sushi dinner with my wife, after having interviewed the delightful Tuck Woodstock together for a podcast episode earlier that day.

What I’m wearing:

• Pale blue tennis dress – bought from some random Amazon store for my Magic Wand event at the Museum of Sex back in 2024 (I love that it has a built-in bra and shorts underneath)
• Blue cashmere cardigan – the Gap
• Blue metallic Doc Martens – bought when I was in high school
• Vintage red leather Coach Willis bag – a vintage shop on Etsy

October 11th, 2025

Wore this to go see a screening of All About Eve (which I had never seen before and which absolutely rules) with someone I affectionately refer to as my Movieboy. We went out to dinner first and I had an espresso martini, so I was exactly the right amount of fired-up to see a movie about messy actresses betraying each other!

What I’m wearing:

• Red T-shirt – thrifted
• Blue cashmere cardigan – the Gap
• Black ponte pants – the Gap
• Black leather jacket – Danier Leather
• Custom-color Nike Air Force 1 sneakers
• Vintage red leather Coach Willis bag

October 12th, 2025

A pretty simple outfit, worn to dinner + a Raaaatscraps show, which is the usual Sunday-night tradition my wife and I stick to when I’m in New York. Comedy date nights are the best date nights, if you ask me.

What I’m wearing:

• Black A-line dress – H&M
• Black and white star-print cardigan – ASOS many years ago
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• Vintage red leather Coach Willis bag
• Turquoise leather Tiffany’s dog collar – a gift from my love

October 19th, 2025

I went back to Toronto for a while at the end of 2025 to do another run of musical improv shows, because life is short and why the hell not. Here’s what I wore to a class and then a show. It was so cold in our theatre space that night that a sweet boy lent me his large black hoodie to wear over my jacket for a lot of the night, which only improved the look, tbh!

What I’m wearing:

• Red and black striped T-shirt – Forever 21, several years ago
• Black blazer – thrifted for a job interview circa 2012
• Black jeans – the Gap
• Black leather Doc Martens
• Vintage red leather Coach Willis bag

October 24th, 2025

Wore this to see some friends perform a sketch show at Second City downtown, after which I immediately subwayed across the city to Comedy Bar Danforth for a party they were throwing that night. I will take any opportunity to sip beer with cool funny people and laugh my ass off for hours!

I almost never dress femmey for improv shows that I’m performing in, because it can be impractical, but decided to bust out a fancy femme look for the comedy-nerd party. I joked on Bluesky that my improv friends might not recognize me in such girly garb, and funnily enough, one of them indeed did not recognize me in the low-lit theatre space, mistaking me for a stranger until, a few minutes into our conversation, she realized who I was. I found this hilarious – gender presentation is such a trip, man.

What I’m wearing:

• Little black dress – bought for a Bettie Page Halloween costume a few years back (this was one of the only dresses I brought with me to Toronto this time, because, like any LBD worth its salt, it’s damn versatile)
• Blue and black heart-print cardigan – H&M circa 2007
• Blue socks branded with the logo of the sex toy company Dame
• Black leather Doc Martens

October 25th, 2025

Wore this to go visit my friends Dan and Sarah for some Jackbox games, wine time, and gossip, which was our near-weekly tradition back when Sarah and I lived together throughout the first couple of pandemic years. Always nice to wax nostalgic with old pals! I’m reminding myself of Starrina with this look: “One does want a hint of color…”

What I’m wearing:

• Pink T-shirt – the Gap
• Black cashmere hoodie – a lovely (and cozy) gift from my wife’s parents
• Black leather jacket – Danier Leather
• Pink knit toque – gift from my mom
• Black jeans – the Gap
• Trusty ol’ Nikes
• Red leather Coach Willis bag

October 29th, 2025

After having to crank out 3 short blog posts + 1 song video all in one day (due to poor time management on my part), I was soooo ready to unwind with my evening plans: attending a screening of Cruising with some family members. The movie largely takes place in queer kinky nightclubs, so it felt à propos to wear a lotta leather! Also, incidentally, my late uncle Kevan’s legendary rock band Rough Trade wrote some songs for the Cruising soundtrack, and it was cathartic to appreciate his artistry in a roomful of enthusiastic queers. (He also co-wrote a song that’s in Love Lies Bleeding!)

What I’m wearing:

• Men’s black T-shirt – got accidentally mixed into my laundry once; deeply sorry to whoever I inadvertently stole this from, but it’s a nice shirt
• Black leather jacket – Danier Leather
• Black jeans – the Gap
• Black leather Doc Martens
• Tiffany’s dog collar
• Vintage red leather Coach Willis bag
• Prescription sunglasses – Zenni

Great photos by mb

December 14th, 2025

Worn to do a musical improv show! Wish I could remember what I was singing about in the middle one; I look rather impassioned… but I know the one on the right was during a scene where I had a crush on Santa Claus, hence the coquettish body language! My wife was able to attend this one and took a bunch of excellent film photos of our set. It’s always fun to introduce her to my ‘prov friends.

What I’m wearing:

• Teal long-sleeved shirt – gift from my mom
• Little black dress
• Black leggings – H&M
• Black leather Doc Martens
• Red heart-shaped glasses – Zenni

Photos by my mom

December 21st, 2025

My outfit for my last improv show of the year! I performed in the show and in the subsequent improv jam, then hung out with friends until the bar closed, and then some of us walked back to my parents’ place and chatted about life/love/art until 4 in the morning. Once again gotta give a shout-out to low-dose naltrexone (LDN), the medication I take for my fibromyalgia; I could have never done all that stuff in one evening pre-LDN!

What I’m wearing:

• Red A-line dress – H&M
• Black cashmere cardigan – the Gap
• Black leggings – H&M
• Black leather Doc Martens
• Pearl necklace – Horae
• Apple Watch

P.S. Want more posts like this? Check out the ‘outfit‘ tag!

Mark Me Up, Make Me Yours: 3 Alternatives to Collars

Kate Sloan
Photo by mb

In the kink community, a collar can mean a wide range of different things. For some, it’s simply a sex toy, a way to tug someone around during a scene. For others, it’s a deeply-considered symbol of commitment to a D/s dynamic. And between those two ends of the spectrum are countless variations. A collar can mean whatever you and your partner(s) want it to.

Collars may be the item most associated with commitment in the kink world, like wedding rings in the vanilla world – but just like with wedding rings, some people find that collars are impractical for their lifestyle for various reasons, so they’d rather wear something else. Maybe they have a job where they can’t flag as kinky, nosy family members who would ask too many questions, or a medical condition that precludes any neck constriction – whatever the case may be, there are always workarounds. With that in mind, here are 3 categories of collar alternatives for you to consider…

A mark (temporary or permanent)

Sometimes the whole point of wearing a collar is to be constantly reminded, throughout your day, that you’re in a D/s dynamic with someone you adore, and that they adore you too. To that end, anything which reminds you of your partner can be a useful collar alternative, as long as it’s something you’ll carry around on your body all day – whether that’s a well-placed hickey or bruise, a Sharpie scrawl of their initials, or even a tattoo of a meaningful symbol in your relationship.

A piece of jewelry or other wearable accessory

I once knew a glamorous woman who wore a stunning diamond necklace. When I complimented her on it, she replied with a wink (knowing that I am kinky), “It is what you think it is.” That is to say: a collar-esque symbol can be anything, from a priceless pendant, to a nose ring, to a piece of twine tied around your wrist. All that matters is that you and your partner(s) agree about the shared meaning of the object in question, and that you’ll be pleasantly reminded of your dynamic each time you notice it.

A sex toy, worn under clothes

Chastity cages, wearable vibrators, and butt plug tails, oh my! These products aren’t always practical (I wouldn’t recommend wearing anything metal through a TSA scanner, for instance), but they are great for keeping a sexual connection front-and-centre in your mind. As a bonus, they can generate arousal throughout your day, like a set-it-and-forget-it form of foreplay. Neat!

 

Have you ever tried a “collar alternative” like this? What did you go with?

 

This post contains a sponsored link. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.