Review: Sohimi Clitoral Sucking Vibrator

Kate Sloan

In preparing to write this review, I went and looked up the Sohimi Clitoral Sucking Vibrator on the company’s website, and was shocked – SHOCKED! – to see they’re only charging $36 for it. (Less, if you catch them on a sale day.) Why did this shock me? Well, this toy is rechargeable, made of body-safe silicone, and an innovative multi-tasker, the likes of which a company like Lelo could crank out and charge $180+ for, easy. Damn, Sohimi. I’m impressed.

As with many toys I get sent to review, I didn’t have much choice about which product from the company’s catalogue I would be sent, and I wouldn’t have necessarily picked this one if they’d let me choose. But that’s because I wouldn’t have understood, just from looking at it, what it actually does.

This incompletely-named “clitoral sucking vibrator” does three things, only two of which are mentioned in its moniker. It’s shaped like an uppercase “J,” with a vibrating shaft meant for vaginal penetration on one end and a clit-sucking pressure wave stimulator on the other. But in the middle is something really neat: a G-spot-targeting bump that, when activated, trembles quickly like a partner intensely come-hithering to make you squirt. Sohimi calls this a 3-in-1 toy and they are not fucking around when they say that.

Of the three functions, the vibration is the least interesting to me, both because I already own a zillion vibrators and because these particular vibrations are pretty buzzy. But the other two functions, especially when used in tandem, are tantalizing. The light clitoral suction produced by pressure-wave technology is a very “treble-y” sensation, high-pitched and pinpointed sometimes to the point of being cloying, but here it is tempered by the comparative “bassiness” of that rumbling G-spot stimulator. The thrumming slows down quite a bit when inserted vaginally, as the motor works hard to fight against my restrictive flesh, but I can definitely still register it. When I use both functions in concert, both these crucial buttons get pushed so directly that a “whoa, I’m gonna come!” feeling creeps up faster than expected. I don’t even need to turn the vibrations on, and they’re so buzzy that I usually don’t.

I love that each of the three functions can be controlled independently; it makes me feel like I’m constructing my own customized masterpiece at a salad bar. Each function has multiple speeds/patterns which you can cycle through by pressing its respective button. This is a quality I always miss in dual-stimulation (or triple-stimulation) toys when it’s not present. My clit and G-spot usually want different things at different moments, so it’s nice to have granular control over what setting each component is on at any given time.

I’m not totally on board with the clitoral suction aspect of this toy, because it doles out a sharper, stronger sensation than many similar toys, and my clit is a sensitive baby. Adding lube helps, but nonetheless, I find myself staying on the lowest speeds because the rest get way too intense way too quickly. If you’re not a fan of pressure wave stimulation, this toy isn’t gonna convert you, the way something more nuanced like a high-end Womanizer might.

The design of this toy is such that you basically have to insert the vaginal arm in order to use any part of it; the shaft doesn’t comfortably bend enough to allow you to use the clitoral portion on its own, should you want to. This definitely limits the usefulness of the toy, as does the fact that (characteristically of dual-stim toys) it has to fit your anatomy or it won’t work. I normally have issues lining up dual-stim toys so that both my G-spot and my clit are getting the amount of attention they want, with the correct angle/positioning for each, but this toy happens to fit my body well in that way. The shaft has some give, but not a ton.

I also noticed that I have a tendency to accidentally bump buttons when I try to thrust with this toy, because of where the control panel is placed. But I think it’s not really meant to be thrusted, so maybe this wouldn’t bother most users.

This is one of those toys I’d only grab when I was craving something very specific – in this case, intense clit stim paired with profound G-spot stim – but that’s actually a craving I have fairly often. The Sohimi Clitoral Sucking Vibrator does what it does quite well, with the exception of vibration, and it’s also probably one of the most luxe-looking vibes you could get at its price point. A decent, rechargeable triple-stimulation toy for $36 is nothing to sneeze at, and I’m glad I gave this one a shot!

 

This review was sponsored. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

12 Days of Girly Juice 2020: 1 Fantastic Company

Kate Sloan

Here it is: my last 12 Days of Girly Juice post of 2020!

Today I’d like to bring your attention to a business I think you need to know about. They’re called ShopEnby.

Normally I highlight toy-makers here – and if I was doing that, I would need to give major shout-outs to some of my faves of the year, New York Toy Collective, Dame, and Glitter Tops – but ShopEnby has been through such a rigamarole recently that I felt it was important to feature them here.

(Content note for what’s to come: this post contains discussions of racism, transphobia, and – briefly – racist and transphobic murders.)

The store is Black- and trans-owned. Its organizational systems and product descriptions are crafted to be inclusive of a broad range of bodies and identities. The owners donate 2% of all proceeds to “a rotating list of small underfunded organizations focused on improving the lives of Queer/Trans People of Color.” Their selection of sex toys, gender affirmation gear, and wellness products is carefully curated and top-notch.

All their boundless awesomeness notwithstanding, ShopEnby faced some troubles recently when Wild Flower Sex – a sex toy company known to be disrespectful to Black femmes (more info here) – threatened them with a lawsuit over the usage of the word “enby,” because Wild Flower makes a vibrator by that name.

You know, “enby,” the colloquial term sometimes used by non-binary people to refer to themselves? Yeah. Wild Flower claimed that that word is theirs. Theirs to use, for profit, and no one else’s.

While it’s certainly their prerogative to use that word for themselves (and indeed, Wild Flower’s cofounders use they/them and he/they pronouns respectively, though I don’t know whether they identify as non-binary or as enbies), no one can own that word. It would be as ridiculous as trying to trademark terms like “lesbian,” “gay,” or “bisexual.” These are labels of identification and ways of finding community, not commodities to be bought or sold.

In response to the threats, ShopEnby set up a legal defense fund on GoFundMe, which you can still donate to. You can also support them by making purchases from their store. I can heartily recommend, for example, the Magic Wand Rechargeable, Dame Arc, and We-Vibe Rave, all of which they sell. If you believe it’s better to support marginalized small business owners than big-box stores of dubious ethics, this is a lovely way to put your money where your mouth is! (It may be too late to get gifts for this holiday season, but Valentine’s Day is coming up fast…)

It was particularly shocking to see the news about the threatened lawsuit in a year where Black people and trans people have been so prominently targeted. Granted, those groups are targeted in various ways all the time, but this was the year when George Floyd and many others were murdered by racist police, when trans people were killed at record levels, when a beloved children’s author showed her whole ass by perpetuating dangerous transphobic rhetoric on a massive scale. Black and trans people have been through more than enough this year, and every year. How dare anyone try to take away a word that causes no harm, helps many people feel more like themselves, and does not – cannot – belong to anyone except the entire community it represents.

12 Days of Girly Juice 2020: 2 Fears Defeated

Kate Sloan

We all do scary things all the time, whether we consciously notice it or not. Hell, even getting out of bed each morning when the world is so chaotic is a brave-ass thing to do.

Each year I write here about 2 major fears I conquered over the course of the year, as a reminder to myself and to others that (as Glennon Doyle says) we can do hard things. There’s always more to learn, more hurdles to jump, and more courage to call upon. Here are the 2 big fears I defeated in 2020…

 

Cutting my hair short

All the way back to middle school, I read a lot of magazines aimed at women and girls. This had some upsides – allowing me to explore nascent interests in sex and fashion, for instance – but a lot of downsides, one of which was that I grew very self-conscious about so-called “flaws” like my pear-shaped body or my large forehead. The proliferation of these types of “teachings” may have been reduced in recent years due to the body-positivity movement (not to mention the many many fat babes who spearhead it), but the damage was done. I and many other women had come to view fundamental parts of our physical selves as something to be covered up and worked around.

Because I have a round face and a big forehead, the conventional wisdom is that my hair should be shaped a certain way to de-emphasize those traits. For a long time I wore it long, with sideswept bangs, to conceal the true contours of my face. But who was I kidding? And, more importantly: why did I care so much?

It’s taken me literal decades to get to a place of relative comfort with my appearance, and even that still comes and goes depending on the day. One decision I’m proudest of in that realm is cutting my hair to chin-length last December. I was sick and tired of my long frizzy curls, which had felt more cumbersome than joyful for a while. I also wanted a haircut that said something about who I am, rather than just allowing me to blend into the background. I used to dress unremarkably when my social anxiety was at its height, because I didn’t want anyone to look at me or notice me – but that was no longer the case! Now I wanted to be seen – and not only that, but to be seen for who I really am: a queer, kinky, feminist, clever, accomplished, professional, foxy lady.

My long-time hairdresser Paul at Avalon Hair Design looked at the reference images I’d collected for him and knew exactly what to do. He gave me a short, asymmetrical haircut that’s a bit longer in the front; it’s modern, unusual, and works well with my natural curls. I’ve loved it all year, and have felt much more visible since getting it, both as a queer person and just as a person. Thanks, Paul!

Photo by Ashe of Rose Glass Photography

Getting engaged + married

I can think of few other things in life that have simultaneously attracted me and terrified me the way the idea of marriage does/did. I’m a huge introvert so I had trouble conceiving of a life where there would always be another person around – but, more pressingly than that, I worried I didn’t have what it took to be loved in the long-term. My past relationships had often fizzled when I or the other person lost interest and ended things, and it seemed risky as hell to make a public, legal commitment to stay in a relationship when there’s a chance it could fall apart at any time.

But in multiple chats with both my therapist and my now-spouse, I uncovered the ways in which these fears were largely based on my own insecurities and traumas, and were therefore not super relevant to my current (healthy, communicative, loving) relationship. Sure, it’s normal to want to tread carefully when making a big life decision like getting married, but that doesn’t automatically mean it’s a bad decision.

Getting married to mb was actually one of the easiest and most right-feeling things I’ve ever done, once I managed to set aside the trauma-borne negativity that nagged at me when we first started discussing it. I’ve never met anyone else I felt as compatible with in a long-term kind of way, nor have I ever felt this unconditionally, unendingly loved in a relationship before. I have no doubt that there will be struggles and setbacks in our married life, of the kind that every couple encounters, but I know with certainty that I am with someone who will patiently face those struggles with me and do what it takes to work through them.

It’s wild to be writing this here. I wonder what my teenage self would think if she could read this. Starting this blog at age 19, I don’t think I ever even considered the possibility that I would one day chronicle my engagement and marriage here. But it makes sense that I would: mb and I met through the sex-blogosphere, and our relationship has blossomed in the public eye. It’s been so wonderful to get to share my happy news with you during this hell-year; thank you so much, as ever, for your support and positivity, and for celebrating our joys with us. ❤️

 

What fears did you conquer this year? (I’m proud of you!!)

12 Days of Girly Juice 2020: 3 Fave Encounters

Kate Sloan

This has been a more difficult year than usual for me to keep track of memorable sexual experiences in my mind. Not because I didn’t have any good or great sex this year – I had a lot! – but because normally I have some situational or locational markers to help me remember specific instances better. In 2020, there was no “that time we did watersports after a night out at a cocktail bar” or “that time we used a new toy we’d just picked up at the local sex shop” or “that time we fucked immediately upon finally arriving at our hotel after a cross-country flight.” There was, however, a lot of “that time we had sex in bed after hanging out in bed all day.” 😂

As a result of these circumstances + the way my brain organizes sexual experiences, I don’t remember the exact dates of every stellar rendezvous I had this year, despite (still) keeping a sex spreadsheet. But I remember the feelings, and the vibes (so to speak), and the highlights – which is sort of how I feel about 2020, too. So today I’ll tell you about some of the best encounters I do remember.

I’ve also thrown in a little write-up from mb about each of these, like I did last year, because it’s fun to hear both perspectives sometimes. Enjoy!

 

Non-reciprocal (but surprisingly reciprocal) oral

My very first sexual partner, back in 2008–2009, could have orgasms from going down on me. You can see how this experience might lead a person to be disappointed by subsequent relationships where that didn’t happen!

Of course, I know how uncommon and unrealistic this is for most people. It makes for a great fantasy – that someone could find your pleasure and your genitals soooo hot that it could make them come, basically untouched – but it just isn’t how most people’s bodies work. And yet, somehow, a decade after that first sexual relationship, I found myself dating (and eventually married to) someone who happened to have the same talent.

Some of my most satisfying sexual experiences this year were times when my love went down on me – slow, gradually escalating, dedicated, and reverent – and brought me to an orgasm so intense that it made them come against the bedsheets in the same moment. Sometimes this happened while they were in chastity, which makes sense, what with their sensitivity being amped up and orgasm threshold lowered – but sometimes it was just sorta random.

I am very lucky to have a sweetheart who loves giving oral sex that much. It feels powerful to me every time, and affirms that I am actually hot, even at times when I severely doubt that to be true. Some people chase and fetishize the elusive simultaneous orgasm during PIV – but I prefer a simultaneous orgasm during oral, tbh!

mb says: I’ve always been a little embarrassed with past partners when I’ve come from going down on them, because of what culture tells us about “premature” ejaculation. The fact is that eating pussy is one of my all-time favorite sex acts, so of course it turns me on. And sometimes tasting someone come in my mouth is enough to push me over the edge. The first time this happened with you, I was shy to admit it at first, but when you reacted with a loving giggle and a beaming smile, I knew you were into it. This is also the most frequent way I experience simultaneous orgasms, with my orgasm almost always beginning just as you start to come and peaking as I work hard to maintain the rhythm of my tongue on your clit and ride out the waves of pleasure. It’s definitely worth the cleanup. 

 

Slapping their cock to orgasm (content note: inflicting pain on a penis)

One of the kinks mb and I explored more this year was CBT (that’s cock and ball torture, not cognitive-behavioral therapy!). While many people with dicks are scared to death of any pain or injury befalling that area (and reasonably so), personally I think it’s nice to mix a little pain in with my pleasure – and fortunately, my spouse agrees.

We had experimented with occasional cock-slaps here and there, but one night in June after they’d already made me come with my Bandit and Eroscillator, we got into some dick-slapping that was much more purposeful and concentrated. After a few minutes of teasing slaps, I realized that it seemed like they could come from the hits I was raining down on their dick. (One of the benefits of being in a long-term sexual relationship can be developing the ability to sense such things.) I kept up my rhythm, the slaps becoming gradually more firm and fast, until eventually, they came hard, whining and whimpering.

Though I’m not much of a natural domme, there is something thrillingly powerful about being able to give someone a totally new-to-them type of orgasm. I’ve subsequently improved my CBT skillz and can now make them come with slaps pretty easily and consistently. Cool!

mb says: I don’t remember exactly how we started doing CBT together. But I definitely remember the first time I came from it. I was in a subby, trancey headspace and every one of your slaps was making my cock harder. I felt myself beginning to leak precum against your hand and craving release. I didn’t know it was possible for me to come from slapping alone, but I felt myself getting closer as your hits became more rhythmic and focused on my frenulum. I asked for permission to come, and had one of the most intense orgasms of the entire year. It’s amazing to learn a new way to come, and we’ve had a lot of fun playing with it since.

 

Wedding night sex

Of course, there are traditionally a lot of expectations heaped onto the night of one’s wedding, sexually speaking – and though we wanted to make it special, we also knew it was just one night of many, many, many nights we’ll spend together as a married couple, so there was no need to put undue pressure on ourselves.

After our post-wedding dinner with a few friends, we checked into the Conrad Hotel for the night, where they had set up champagne and chocolate-covered strawberries in our suite (aww). After some kissing, cuddling, and decompressing, mb fucked me with the Njoy Eleven – the dildo that indirectly led to us meeting in 2017, because they mentioned on Twitter that they liked my review of it – while I used the Eroscillator on myself. (I remember the way their brand-new wedding ring clinked against the metal of the Eleven…) Then we had good ol’ PIV. Classic.

It surprised me to notice that despite wedding night sex being considered “special,” an anomaly, in real life it actually felt pretty similar to great sex we might have on an average day, save for the location (and the fact that we had to peel off our formalwear beforehand!). I reject the idea of waiting until marriage to have sex (for myself, anyway – you do you), because it prevents you from assessing your sexual compatibility with the person you plan on tethering your life to – and the flipside of that coin is that I already knew I love fucking mb, and that I could be happy doing so for the rest of my life. That night just confirmed it.

mb says: Romantic! We were a little drunk and a lot exhausted, but we weren’t going to waste a beautiful hotel room and our wedding night by going to bed early. After some champagne and chocolate-covered strawberries, I fumbled around trying to figure out the complicated lighting system and went down on you in the dark for what felt like the perfect amount of time. I knew I wanted you to come on the Eleven, like we discussed. And I knew I wanted to come inside you. So that’s exactly what happened. It couldn’t have been more perfect. And then we fucked once more in the morning, for good measure.

 

Hope it was a wonderful year in your sex life, too (if that’s what you want/enjoy)!

12 Days of Girly Juice 2020: 4 Fun Events

Kate Sloan
Wow. Remember crowds?

While plotting this blog series, I considered swapping out this list of my fave events of the year for something more… timely. After all, as far as in-person events go, we’ve seen better years, to say the least. But as far as virtual events go? This was very probably the best year on record.

So here are the 4 events that stuck out most in my mind this year – some in-person, some virtual. I’m immensely grateful to everyone involved in making each of these happen, because this year needed a whole lot of brightening and they managed to brighten it.

(I’m not going to write about my wedding here, by the way… not because it wasn’t one of my favorite events of the year, but because that feels like a cop-out!)

Get On Your Knees

How could I have known what comedian Jacqueline Novak‘s one-woman show Get On Your Knees would be like? All I knew about it was that she was funny and well-reviewed, and that the show was about blowjobs. There are so many different ways a person can talk about blowjobs – I should know – so I wasn’t sure what to expect.

What ensued was a meandering and deeply personal show-long monologue about Jacqueline’s formative fellatio experiences. Her fears, her insecurities, her failures – and also her triumphs, her joys, her successes. She stalked around the stage, mic in hand, ranting about scrotal skin, vulva shame, and the inability to turn off her racing thoughts while giving head. Each and every observation felt fresh, relatable, and outrageously funny.

Part of the reason I do what I do here at Girly Juice is that women have traditionally been discouraged from talking openly about their sex lives – especially if they enjoy sex, especially if they’re critical of the men they have sex with, and especially if the types of sex they prefer to have are considered non-standard. To see a successful female comedian speaking frankly about sex on stage – in a manner both vulnerable and hilarious – reinvigorated my courage and drive to do what I do. I’m so happy Jacqueline’s show got the critical acclaim it deserved, and I know she’s changed the comedy landscape for the better.

The Beaches & Goodbye Honolulu at the Danforth Music Hall

Remember February? Ahh, ignorance was truly bliss.

On February 28th, I flew home from a weeks-long stretch in New York. The reason I’d picked that day was that on February 29th, I had a ticket to go see my brother’s band open for the Beaches. All I knew about the Beaches, going into this show, was that Max’s band had toured with them before, knew them pretty well, and respected them a lot. I knew they were an all-girl group, and some internalized misogyny led me to assume that they wouldn’t rock as hard as Goodbye Honolulu does. Well, I was very wrong.

Sitting in the cushy balcony of the legendary Danforth Music Hall with my parents, I had a quasi-religious experience at that show. Nothing out of the ordinary happened, at least not for the bands; they played their guitars and drums and basses, sang and screamed into their mics, strutted around the stage in hot outfits. But it had been a while since I’d been to a proper rock show, and I felt high even though the only “substance” I’d consumed was a beer from the bar downstairs. I was completely captivated by these bands – first the boys, and then the girls – their talent, their drive, their intensity.

Afterward, I walked out onto the snowy street, dazed and cleansed. I didn’t know, at the time, that this would be the last music show I’d go to in-person for a very long while. But knowing what I know now, I couldn’t have picked a better last hurrah before lockdown.

Abolish Police in Canada teach-in

It had been a few years since I’d been to a political rally, so attending an No Pride in Policing teach-in/rally at Nathan Phillips Square in late June was powerful.

Black and Indigenous activists spoke, read poetry, sang, and played music – some from afar via Zoom, some right in front of us – about the harm police have caused to their communities, and the structural changes that need to be made. mb and I sat on the pavement, surrounded by hundreds of other (mostly masked and socially-distanced) rapt onlookers, and listened, clapped, and cheered.

The opposition to the event, while expected, was still disheartening. Police on bikes swarmed the perimeter; racist anti-maskers sprayed droplets with their enraged screams. But people attending the event, either as performers or onlookers, dealt with these threats in peaceful and purposeful ways, usually just blocking the opposition’s path to the stage so they couldn’t disrupt the proceedings further.

Since it happened around the same time Pride usually does, and was put on by the No Pride in Policing coalition, this was decidedly a queer community event. It felt so amazing to gather with other queers in service of a vitally important goal – defunding the police and redistributing their budget to other, more worthy causes – during Pride month, a time that’s always been political for us. The work being done by Black Lives Matter Canada (not to mention the organization’s other chapters worldwide) is absolutely phenomenal; I only hope that privileged policymakers start actually listening to them sometime soon.

Theatresports Online

The Bad Dog Theatre has been one of my favorite places for over 14 years. Unfortunately, now, it’s no longer so much a place as a community – both because the pandemic has prevented in-person gatherings, and because the pandemic has caused the Bad Dog to have to give up its physical space for the time being. They’re looking for a new one, but until then, we still have online shows to look forward to.

The programming put on by the Bad Dog this year made every week feel about 15% more bearable for me. Whether their improvisors were performing impromptu plays about love and sex, playing Dungeons & Dragons over Zoom, or interviewing fake “experts” about their fake books, they made me laugh so hard I cried every time I tuned into their YouTube channel.

Theatresports is the Bad Dog’s flagship improv show. I think the first time I ever saw an improv show in my life (that wasn’t an episode of Whose Line Is It Anyway), it was a Theatresports show. It’s a competitive shortform show where two teams go head-to-head to see who can create the funniest scenes and games. In its online form this year, it was hosted every week by Tom Hearn, a vivacious beacon of brightness forever wearing elaborate drag makeup and randomly breaking into song between scenes.

Every time I had a hard week, whether related to pandemic stress, work stress, family stress, or literally anything else, I always knew I could sit down in front of the TV on Thursday night and the Bad Dog crew would keep me company and crack me up. They helped get me through this hell year, and I know I’m not the only one they helped in that way. I can never thank them enough for the laughs they served up in 2020.

 

What events made you happy this year?