I’m having a minor mental breakdown because the Scrabble app is being discontinued.
I know that doesn’t sound like it’s going to be relevant to sex toys and the other topics covered on this here blog, but bear with me for a moment. The Scrabble app – totally classic, with no bells or whistles, just that well-worn Hasbro aesthetic and those well-understood rules – has been my constant companion in my battle against anxiety and depression for several years. It’s one tool in my wide-ranging toolbelt of coping mechanisms, but it is a significant one. When I start to hyperventilate on the subway, or am en route to a party I’m nervous about, or am crying so hard I can’t get out of bed, I can always whip out my phone and play a few games of Scrabble against a skilled robot. The familiarity of the game, and my skill at it, calm me down in minutes.
When EA recently announced that they’re phasing out the classic Scrabble app in favor of the new (and way, way worse) Scrabble Go, and that users of the original app will be unable to keep using it past June, I honestly felt like a piece of the cliff I was standing on had suddenly crumbled and fallen away. Maybe it’s the fact that this announcement coincided with global panic about a pandemic as well as a continuing political shitshow, but it really felt like something had been taken away from me that I needed in order to function. Something I thought I could trust, and that I thought would always be there somehow, in fact will be gone in not too long.
That brings me to the Magic Wand. The Japanese corporation originally responsible for making and selling this legendary vibrator, Hitachi, almost pulled the plug on the product (so to speak) in the mid-2010s when – according to various sources – the conservative company got cold feet about the sexualization of their product. Marketed as a muscle massager, the Magic Wand had nonetheless picked up steam as a sex aid in North American masturbation workshops and porn flicks (though it is also available in the UK and elsewhere) and Hitachi wasn’t cool with that. American sex toy distributor Vibratex swept in and saved the day by taking over branding and distribution of the product so Hitachi could save face – but in the interim, Magic Wand fans were terrified. Theories abounded about the toy’s potential fate. Wands started popping up for hundreds of dollars on eBay and the like. The situation looked dire, until Vibratex started cranking out wands again (including the Magic Wand Rechargeable, a brilliantly-conceived update on the original) and harmony was restored to the universe.
I was reminded of this story when I heard the news about the Scrabble app, because there is something uniquely terrifying about finding out that what you once considered a constant comfort actually is not. This is true whether the thing that has crumbled is big – like your relationship, your family, or, say, the entire world order as you know it – or small, like an app or a vibrator. We place our trust in these things; they hold our emotional safety precariously in their hands. So it’s immensely destabilizing when one of them just winks out of existence.
The world may be incredibly fucked up right now, but I still have my Magic Wand, and it feels like a security blanket. Even when I’m scared of what’s to come, I can still have orgasms. Even if I have to self-quarantine, I can still have orgasms. Even if I get sick, I can still have orgasms (assuming I can muster the energy to administer them). Lots of people are turning to lots of familiar comforts in times like these – beloved shows on Netflix, dog-eared and much-read books, Skype calls with loved ones – and I’m glad that the Magic Wand is one of mine… especially now that my long-cherished Scrabble app is being ripped from my hands. (Okay, I might be being a tad melodramatic. Just a tad.)
Here’s a story I’m embarrassed to share. (Gosh, that should just be the tagline of this blog, shouldn’t it?)
My first serious relationship was a monogamous one, but I still thought it would be fine to show off my naked body online. Of course, it crossed my mind that my boyfriend might have an issue with it, but the odds seemed too low to bring it up. (I know. I know. Don’t worry, I’ve learned better communication skills since then!)
So I would post nudes on illicit subreddits, and tease Twitter with my cleavage, and even do occasional cam shows – getting naked, jerking off with toys, the whole shebang. (I know. I KNOW.)
Of course, when my boyfriend found out about this, he was upset. We talked about it, and I stopped. Part of our initial disagreement on this matter came from differing definitions of relationship boundaries, which we should’ve talked about earlier – I believed my body was mine to show off as I pleased, short of actually having any kind of sex with other people. But the other basis for our disagreement was that exact definition of sex. I had, by that point, broadened my view of sex to include things like fingering, handjobs, and oral sex, but it had never really occurred to me to consider cam shows a type of sex. They were a sexual interaction, sure, and they could be sex work in some transactional contexts, but I didn’t think of them as the type of sex one would have to reserve only for one’s partner in a monogamous relationship.
Fast-forward the better part of a decade, and now I’m in a long-distance relationship. By necessity, I’ve come to view the various types of digitally-enabled long-distance sexual communication I engage in – sexting, phone sex, and yes, cam shows – as valid forms of sex. After all, they make up the bulk of my sex life at this point, and are every bit as arousing, exciting, intimate, and connective as the in-person sex I have with my partner. It would be selling both of us short to insist that these things are not sex.
Nothing sexual is ever quite that simple, though. I can’t say I always felt like I was “having sex” when I performed online for paying customers, trying to tune out their watchful eyes as I fucked myself with a dildo – but was I having sex? Do both people have to have their webcams turned on for it to “count” as sex? Is a sex cam show (as in, a show where two or more people are fucking on camera) different from a masturbation cam show, in that the viewer is more of a viewer than a direct participant? As we’ve seen countless times before, technology solves many sexual problems, but raises a slew of new sexual questions at the same time.
Bummer alert: I’m thinking about these types of questions a lot more now that we’re in the midst of the COVID-19 outbreak. A BuzzFeed article reports some people are sexting with their Tinder matches in lieu of meeting them at bustling bars and the like. The virus may abound in public places, but you’re more-or-less safe behind the screen of your phone, tucked securely away in your apartment. Around the time of the AIDS crisis, the concept of “safer sex” spread to the masses, but just last year I saw a Reddit post from an “incel” claiming that sex with a condom on doesn’t “count” as real sex. Digital forms of sex, too, are simultaneously decried as a poor substitute for “the real thing” and lauded as a safer alternative to physical closeness. Whether the “protection” you’re using is a condom or a smartphone, I don’t think the sex you’re having is any less real than unprotected and traditional types.
I think ultimately we are free to define sex in different ways; we don’t all have to agree on one definition, and we couldn’t even if we tried. I look forward to a future where our definition of sex gets broader and broader, so it can include more people, more safely.
Heads up: this post was sponsored. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.
I did shrooms (i.e. magic mushrooms) for the first time last month! Folks were very curious about it on Twitter and Instagram, so I thought I’d put together this little FAQ about my experience…
Q. Why did you do it?
A. I’ve been vaguely curious about psychedelics for a long time, but lots of other drugs in that category have tons of bad potential side effects or are much harder to get your hands on, so shrooms is the one that mostly caught my interest. I also know lots of people who’ve tried this drug, so I was able to amass a wide array of shrooms advice and stories from people I trust, making me feel even more curious about giving ’em a shot.
Q. How did you prepare for the experience?
A. First, I talked to a lot of shrooms-savvy friends about my various fears and apprehensions; their wisdom calmed me down a lot. I did a little research, but not much, because I didn’t want to cloud my experience with preconceptions. I discussed with my friend Brent the logistics of him being my “trip-sitter” (more on that in the next question).
As far as more immediate, right-before-the-trip preparation, I laid out a notebook and pen next to me incase I had any thoughts or ideas worth documenting, placed a can of seltzer next to where I’d be sitting (hydration is important!), and set up a weird monkey documentary I felt like watching.
Q. Did you have a “trip-sitter”?
A. Yes! A long time ago, my friend (and Question Box cohost) Brent offered to take on this role for me if I ever decided to try shrooms, and I was delighted that we managed to line up our schedules and make it happen. I took a bus from New York (where I was staying with my partner) to Philadelphia (where Brent lives), and stayed with him for most of the weekend so we’d have plenty of time for prep and comedown.
Brent has done shrooms a handful of times and is very thoughtful about them, plus we’ve been friends for nearly 5 years so I’m comfortable being weird around him and I trust him deeply. He did a minor dose of shrooms at the same time as me, because he wanted to “be on my level” somewhat while remaining lucid enough to take care of me as needed, and he was truly the perfect companion for this experience. He procured water and snacks for me when I requested them, loaded up videos and songs I asked for, put up with my antics, and pushed me further in the esoteric directions that my various “galaxy brain” thoughts pointed me toward. I really lucked out!
Q. Were you scared/nervous?
A. A little – but I knew I would almost certainly be safe because I was in a safe location with a safe person. Mostly I was afraid the drug would give me severe anxiety or even a panic attack – including possibly from intense dizziness, which sometimes afflicts me when I get too high on weed – but the negative effects of the drug were pretty minimal, actually. I found I was able to “steer” myself away from troubling thoughts and sensations by just moving my focus to something more positive, like listening to songs I like, watching funny videos, and telling stories.
Q. How did you consume the drug (and how much did you consume)?
A. The dose Brent advised for me was 2 grams, which (from what I understand, having looked into it further after the fact) is on the lower end of a medium-sized dose. I think this was the right call; we wanted it to be big enough that I would definitely feel it, but not so big as to be terrifying to li’l ol’ anxious me.
Several of my psychedelic-savvy friends told me that eating the mushrooms can upset your stomach – which, obviously, isn’t great when you’re in a state of intoxication that makes everything feel more vivid – so I imbibed mine in a tea. Brent and I went scavenging in a dollar store for a mesh tea infuser, and then he weighed out 2 grams on a kitchen scale and ground it up in what appeared to be a weed grinder. He then put that in the infuser and steeped it for 12+ minutes in boiling water along with 2 decaf orange tea bags and some lemon juice and honey. I thought it would taste gross but it was actually delicious and easy to drink.
Q. What are some do’s and don’ts that you learned?
A. I’m no expert, but I know that mindset and setting have a big effect on what kind of trip you’ll have (more on that in the next question). It would be a bad idea to take shrooms while in a less-than-good mood, or in a location that makes you feel uncomfortable or anxious. It helped that I knew Brent would’ve been more than willing to call the whole thing off if my mental state had felt off-kilter, but luckily it didn’t.
Brent also told me that singing helps a lot if you ever feel yourself starting to go off the rails during a trip. I found this to be very true: singing (or even, in some cases, playing the piano) brought me back to a calm, happy place, time and time again. I also drank water pretty continuously throughout my trip and adopted the mantra “Breathe and water! Breathe and water!” which helped immensely when I started to feel a bit panicky or dizzy.
Q. What was your mindset going in, and how did that affect your experience?
A. It was a chill Saturday. Brent and I had just gone for brunch with some pals, and then walked around in the wintry sunshine for a bit. I was feeling happy and relaxed. I wouldn’t recommend tripping when that’s not the case!
A mid-trip giggle session.
Q. What did it feel like?
A. The main thing I noticed, feelings-wise, was a vast heightening of emotion. I’m already an extremely emotional person so this was a bit disorienting and overwhelming at times. At the peak of the trip, I found myself oscillating wildly back and forth between laughing hysterically and weeping inconsolably. Sometimes I would have a thought about something I wanted to say and be too overcome with emotion about it to even get the words out.
Speaking of words: I also got very talkative. Brent and I found this highly amusing because, in our friendship, normally he is the one who rambles on and on while I listen (and I say that in the most affectionate way possible)! It felt like my thoughts were coming much, much faster than they normally do, to the point that I would often interrupt myself several times a sentence to go on some tangent that felt very important at the time. I told stories, made jokes and puns, sang lines from musical theatre songs that our conversation reminded me of, and just generally said aloud every thought that popped into my head. As someone who is shy and quiet in many social situations, this felt quite odd!
After a certain point in the trip, I also developed a strong compulsion to dance or march around almost constantly – so I did, often while continuing to carry on a conversation with Brent about completely unrelated stuff. Shout-out to him for remaining completely cool and calm while I did ballet in his living room.
One more observation worth noting: my chronic pain, which has otherwise been quite prominent lately, totally vanished for the duration of my trip. I didn’t notice it or think about it at all, not even once. Wild.
Q. How did it change your perceptions of things around you?
A. So, the thing that surprised me most about shrooms was that it didn’t make me less aware of what was going on around me, like weed and booze often can – it made me more aware of everything. I “got” every joke or reference I would normally get while sober, I could perceive with normal or slightly heightened acuity the emotional states of the people I was talking to (just Brent and, via text, my partner Matt), and I was more than able to follow along with songs/videos/movies/conversations.
I definitely noticed some weird visual effects, but they weren’t really at the level of what one might call hallucinations or visual distortions. For example: at one point I thought I saw a cat running around under Brent’s chair in my peripheral vision; a few seconds later, I thought that the rumpled cardigan lying next to me on the bed looked like a live rat about to attack me (but I was also conscious that it was still a cardigan and I was actually safe), and once I thought it looked like Brent’s shirt was attached to a bike propped against a wall several feet behind him. I was very aware at all times that any distortions in my perception were due to the drug and weren’t real, which I gather isn’t always the case when you’re on shrooms.
Q. How similar are shrooms to other drugs you’ve tried?
A. The only thing I can really compare it to – based on this one experience – is that it was like being on a really strong weed strain and a big dose of caffeine simultaneously. I have never personally taken a combination like that, but it sounds about right!
The mental agility was the main thing that set shrooms apart from other drugs for me. On weed and booze, I often feel that my thoughts and reactions are slowed down or muffled; not so with shrooms.
Q. Did you experience any epiphanies?
A. Not really. A few times, I observed that I was feeling like a different kind of person (either like I’d momentarily taken on the attributes of a specific friend, or like I was accessing “bro-y” or graceful or juvenile parts of my personality) and Brent prompted me to reflect on what that meant about my own identity – its pieces, its composition, its potential artifice – but I felt hesitant to wade into such upsettingly philosophical waters. Maybe next time.
My chattiness and impulses toward dancing and marching made me wonder if it might be good for me to incorporate more of those behaviors into my everyday life, but I’m still pondering what that might look like for me.
Q. What was your favorite part of the experience?
A. Making puns and terrible musical theatre jokes with Brent was the most fun part of the trip for me. My brain felt really sharp and quick, so I was even more inclined toward the type of silly wordplay we get into whenever we’re together – and it was fun seeing him crack up so hard at my absurd antics.
Q. What was your least favorite part of the experience?
A. Toward the beginning of the trip, when the effects were only just starting to set in, I got a weird, heavy, tingly feeling all over my body, kind of like when your leg falls asleep, but everywhere. It was accompanied by slight dizziness and anxiety. I got through it by continually reminding myself to breathe and drink water, and things got better from there.
Q. How long did the effects last?
A. I started to feel “normal-ish” after about 4 hours, but it took another 3-4 hours after that for me to return to total normality. In that “still slightly high” period, I was still inclined to constant joking, giggling, and physical activity, but it felt more like something I had control over.
Q. Can you really do shrooms safely if you have mental illness(es)?
A. Numerous people have asked me this and I don’t think I’m ever going to be a better advisor on this topic than your doctor/therapist. I don’t know much about the mechanisms of shrooms’ potential negative effects (psychosis, panic, etc.) – sorry!
I was fortunate that – as I described above – I was in good spirits at the time of my trip, and had built a morning to precede it that was calm and cheerful. My mental and physical health issues weren’t especially flaring up at the time and I was totally fine. I’ve heard some other depressed, drug-knowledgeable people say that they wouldn’t take shrooms if they were having an active depressive episode, and I think that’s good advice – this drug will tend to amplify whatever’s already going on for you emotionally.
Q. How else did you keep yourself safe during your trip?
A. I gave Brent the phone number of my partner Matt, and vice versa, so that they could stay in touch if anything bad happened to me. (These are two of the people I trust most in the world.) Multiple other people also knew where I was and what I was doing. I drank water continuously all day. Crucially, I put my phone into a mode that would prevent me from (easily) accessing social media sites and my email, because – knowing how I typically behave when I’m intoxicated – I figured I might have the impulse to write some silly stuff online, and I wanted to keep that from happening if possible!
Q. Is there anything you would do differently if you could do it over again?
A. The literal only thing I can think of: I was keeping notes in a notebook, and I wish I had been typing them instead. My thoughts and ideas were coming very fast, and there’s just no way I could record them all longhand. Creative inspiration is one of the main reasons I’m interested in drugs in general, but they only help with that if you’re able to record your ideas as they come!
At one point, Brent offered to leave me alone for a while, because (according to him, and I’m paraphrasing here) some of your best and deepest insights can come when you have little to no external stimulus to distract you from your own inner world. I was ultimately too scared and asked him to stay with me instead, because the thought of him leaving made me feel panicky in a way that’s hard to describe – like without him, I would get sucked into a whirlpool or fall off a cliff into my own psyche. I would imagine that I will spend some time alone with my thoughts the next time I trip, though, if just to see what that’s like.
Q. Could you/would you/did you have sex on shrooms?
A. In this case, I did not, because me and Brent are not that type of friend!
Leading up to my trip, I asked many people for their shroom-sex thoughts and experiences – including Ashley Manta, the eminent sex-and-drugs expert. One pal of mine (the boy formerly known as my “rope bondage beau,” who I’m still friends with) told me that he’s had sex on shrooms and it was amazing, but I think everybody else said some version of, “You won’t even be thinking about sex!” or “You won’t be able to have sex!”
When I took stock of the trip in the days afterward, one thing that stuck out to me was that – as far as I can remember – I literally did not think about sex one time all day… which, as you can imagine, is quite unusual for someone like me! I am definitely interested in trying sex or masturbation on shrooms, because I think it would be fascinating and strange, but I think I would have to set things up beforehand (lube, toys, condoms, etc.) so that I would even remember to attempt sex. It felt like there was so much more pressing stuff to do and say and think about!
Q. Were there any lingering effects?
A. I had a sort of hangover-esque feeling for a few hours, plus some pronounced fatigue/sleepiness that I don’t normally get from hangovers – but other than that, not really.
Q. Would you do it again?
A. Yes! I semi-accidentally acquired way more of the drug than I actually needed, so I have enough left for probably 2-4 more trips. I am very curious about tripping alone, as well as tripping when I’m with my (ideally sober) partner – I think they would find my giggliness and sensitivity amusing in that state, being a sadisticdaddy dom and all!
Have you ever tried shrooms? What was your experience?
I spent most of February with my sweetheart in New York so I had a lot of comfy-cozy, dependably good sex this month. Here are some highlights…
Sex toys
• Fun Factory sent me their Stronic G pulsator this month and, as I noted in my review, it’s quite unique and wonderful. My partner did a good job of fucking me with it, and on one occasion, I even fucked them with it! Aww, romantic.
• One of my Valentine’s Day gifts from my very sweet partner was a Carter dildo from New York Toy Collective. I’ve wanted this bendable realistic dildo for a looong time, especially because it comes in a pink and blue colorway that makes me deliriously happy. While I haven’t gotten to try it for pegging yet, I’ve enjoyed getting fucked with it (and walking around with it strapped on!).
• I got zapped a whole bunch with the Neon Wand and Power Tripper combo this month, which – if you don’t know – allows the user to conduct electricity through their body so they can zap a partner with just their touch. It’s really a sadomasochist’s wet dream, and has become a fixture on our regular rotation of pain-play items (along with candles for wax play, the weird scratchy thing, and various impact implements).
Fantasy fodder
• Many of my most recurrent fantasies are just convoluted setups for receiving exceptionally good cunnilingus… This month I often found my mind drifting to the idea of an American Idol-esque oral sex competition where I am a discerning judge.
• I enjoyed live-tweeting a new Crash Pad Series scene where a very pregnant Dylan Ryan has raucously queer sex with her real-life partner. Most notably, I loved how good Dylan is at advocating for her own pleasure and comfort. #SexGoals!
• Watching Sex Education on Netflix has made me reflect on how exciting it can be to embark on your first (fumbling, imperfect) sexual adventures… As a result, I’ve been fantasizing a lot about surreptitious “first times” in hushed bedrooms or school supply closets!
Sexcetera
• I recently guested on Trends Like These again to discuss a number of complex issues with my friend Brent, like the cultural legacy of South Park, the ethics of reading your partner’s texts, and the ubiquity of domestic violence. Always a pleasure to get to have such smart conversations with such a smart person!
• Sextistics: in February I had in-person sex 20 times and phone sex a scant 5 times, for a total of 25 sessions in 29 days. Pretty great 😎
Fashion & beauty
• After years of occasionally combing eBay for the infamous American Apparel figure skater dress in my size and in colors I didn’t already have, I finally scored one in bright red for a reasonable price and wore it on Valentine’s Day, along with a pink cardigan and pink heart necklace. I am nothing if not festive.
• I bought some new glasses for the first time in ~3 years and I love them all. In the past few months I’ve cut my hair short, gotten new glasses, and amped up my skincare, and I feel like a new woman!
• A couple months ago, I bought a pink and purple hand-dyed vintage nightgown at a vintage shop in Kensington Market, thinking I might later wear it on an anniversary date – but then I ended up wearing something else instead. I was glad, then, to be able to bust out the gown for a fancy-dress house party my partner and I got invited to when I was in New York. I paired it with black tights and my sky-blue Manolos and felt like a stunner all night.
Media
• I’ve been reading all the Oliver Sacks books I can get my hands on lately. If you don’t know, Sacks was a neurologist who documented unusual medical cases in beautifully written anthologies of case histories. I think my favorite ones I’ve read so far are The Mind’s Eye and Seeing Voices (on optical problems and deafness, respectively).
• I finally got around to watching Parasite, and like seemingly most people who’ve seen it, I adored it. What a striking portrait of class and privilege, told in a way that is somehow both hilarious and harrowing.
• Like many others in my field, I’ve been watching and loving Sex Education on Netflix. It’s a charming and sweet show about a sex-nerdy high-schooler and his diverse array of horny friends and classmates. I’m sad I’ve run out of episodes to watch!
Little things
Heart-shaped donuts. Queer bars. Being paid to write erotica. Hilariously bad customs photos. Helping a friend execute a romantic plan for her partner. Perfectly-phrased sentences. Sitting in the front row at improv shows with my love. Reading about psychology in the bath. Getting complimented on our matching outfits. Omakase sushi. Doing shrooms for the first time (!!) with a close pal watching over me. The Producers and Roger Bart. Listening to Andy Shauf on the bus. Lounging around in Matt’s plush floor-length bathrobe. Late-night meals at L’Express. Hypnotizing Bex. Receiving the compliment “That’s a great question!”
If I had my way, I would buy a Fleshlight for every dick-possessing person I ever date. I can’t definitively say that they’re the best strokers on the market, seeing as I don’t have a penis and wouldn’t be able to exhaustively test the whole field even if I did, but they’re definitely the best-known brand making this type of product. They’ve done a lot, in and of themselves, to both destigmatize the idea of men masturbating and make masturbation more pleasurable for folks with penises, and that’s worth celebrating.
However, you know me – I’m a pervert. So here is a list of ways you can use your Fleshlight to do some very kinky shit.
Forced orgasm play
The term “forced orgasm” is often used about people with vulvas, but dicks can certainly be “forced” to come, too, whether you prefer to call this process “cock-milking” or some other colorful phrase of your choosing. There are certain attachments and tools that enable a Fleshlight to stroke up and down all on its own (see this Fleshlight Launch review for one example) but you can also just do it manually, ideally to a partner who is tied down or otherwise immobilized and cannot fight the onslaught of pleasure you’re giving them. 😈
Cum-eating
Avert your eyes if you’ve got a sensitive stomach… Eating cum – whether it’s your own or that of a partner – is a biiiig fetish for many people. Sometimes it’s linked to humiliation, since consuming bodily fluids can be “degrading” if you choose to view it as such, but sometimes it’s just framed as an act of worship: slurping down someone’s semen sure demonstrates how much you revere that person and what comes out of them! You may be able to scoop or pour the cum out of your Fleshlight if it’s fresh, or you could mix it with a little water to make it easier to, um, imbibe.
Oral sex practice
Do you have a fantasy about being so submissive that you’re not allowed to come before you’ve satisfied your partner? You don’t actually have to have a partner present to act out some form of this scenario. Some Fleshlights are made to look hyper-realistic on the outside (check out this review of the available Fleshlight Girls sleeves to see what I mean), so you can lick and suck your imagined partner’s bits to your heart’s content before you allow yourself to use the toy in the more conventional way.
Exhibitionism & voyeurism
Fleshlight makes a line of translucent-bordering-on-transparent products which I, for one, find highly tantalizing to watch in action. You get to see the cock therein as it gets harder and perhaps comes inside the toy – yum. Whether you’re watching your partner jerk off or just enjoying the sight of your own anatomy and arousal, this might just be the best show in town!
Rewards & punishments
If you’re into chastity play, maybe your partner could keep your Fleshlight under lock and key so you only get to use it when you’ve earned an orgasm by enduring a certain amount of abstinence. Or maybe, on the flipside, it could be an erotically humiliating punishment to “have to” use a Fleshlight to get off if your dominant partner won’t deign to offer up their own orifices. Either offer could be plenty motivating!
Even the purchasing of a stroker itself can be a reward in the context of a kink scene (or, if you wanna be extra creative, a punishment). For instance, my partner and I once had a long-running “scene” of sorts, in which they could eventually earn the right to buy themselves a very pricey sex toy by completing a bunch of tasks in several different categories. These encompassed everything from self-care (e.g. get a manicure, learn a new makeup technique from a YouTube tutorial) to financial or moral tasks (e.g. donate money to a particular political organization, make calls on behalf of a progressive political campaign to help sway an important vote) to service-oriented tasks (e.g. update my website, send me dinner) to more directly sexual tasks (e.g. make me come 5 times). You can look through a website that sells Fleshlights together, such as JOUJOU Adult Toys, and gently tease them about how you’re planning on using the toy when it finally arrives… which will make it all the more sweet and exciting when the stroker finally shows up on your doorstep, ready to be co-opted for all your various nefarious plans and schemes. [insert evil dom laugh here]
Do you ever use strokers in kinky ways? How so?
This post was sponsored by MySexToyGuide.com – check out their guide on how to find the best Fleshlight! – and also contains an additional sponsored link. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.
